Good morning Y’all! I hope you are having a good morning! As y’all know, today is my birthday! Boy am I starting to get old! You also may know, that I have had a stressful and painful few months. Yesterday, I had a very upsetting and stressful day, which only added to my pain issues. Today, I want to just relax and have absolutely NO stress in my life! All I really want is, one day with no complaints and or stress! I think this will actually help me get to feeling better.
As most of you already know, I have been having these horrible flare up like symptoms for a few months now. I 
have had a ridiculous amount of pain, that just will not quit. This weekend was supposed to be wonderful, with today being my birthday and tomorrow being my anniversary. It seems like my MS did not get that message and acted up anyway! But, even with the pain I am having, I am going to try to enjoy today and tomorrow with my husband and cats! Hopefully later today, my husband and I will go out to lunch at my all time favorite restaurant! Later tonight, we will rent a movie and relax at home with each other and of course our sweet cats! I am not sure what movie will rent, but hopefully it will be a good one!
I have only been up for a few hours and my pain is unfortunately still pretty damn bad! I do not understand why is will not leave me alone for a few day. I am going to be getting the MRI next weekend and I have rested for several days now, what more can I do? It is so frustrating when nothing seems to relieve the pain, at all! Normally, laying down helps the pain, but lately that has not even helped. I just really need a break from pain, even if it will let up for a few hours
would be wonderful! But I guess maybe that is asking too much! I have learned over the past 16 years, you can not reason with an illness. The MS is going to do what it wants, when it wants to, with no thoughts of what I need! But, I will get through this at some point!
I hope that y’all have a great day today and are able to do something that you find enjoyable! It looks like it is a beautiful day where I live, so I hope it where you are as 
well! We all should be able to enjoy this short life we have to the fullest! Even though I am in a lot of pain, I am very determined to have a good weekend! I am not and never have been one that will surrender to anything, even to the pain and Multiple Sclerosis. I can not allow these things to control my life, at all! Thank you for all your continued support and reading my posts daily! I love all the comments I get from so many of you! Again, have a great day and stay positive and strong! Take care!!!
Always, Alyssa
anniversary and I am hoping we will get to out to a nice dinner to celebrate being married 6 years! I am sure it will be good for me to have a nice relaxing weekend enjoying this time with my husband! It is still hard to believe it has been six years! We have had so many wonderful times together and had so many heartbreaking times. Loss of loved ones was tragic, but we made it through together. Everything we have been through in our almost 14 years together has made us stronger as a couple!
resting, but I am going to continue to give it my best shot! I did take two and a half days off from work so my body could heal, plus I have the weekend so hopefully by Monday, I will be as good as new! One can only hope that this will work!
of effort for me to get up the strength to go, but I am really glad we did. It was a fantastic show and did not require too much standing or walking. We were able to park close because of the handicap parking and we were able to sit as much as we wanted. I sat down for the majority of this show, but it was fine! Jack Johnson has a very soothing voice and this was such a fantastic show! For us to be able to go to this show was thanks to my wonderful Father in Law! To me, music has a healing almost magical power!
I did ask her today what else I can do to help these issues. She said that I should rest as much as possible and it would be a smart idea to stay out of work a few days to recuperate from these flare up like symptoms. I am already off on Friday, so that would just mean missing tomorrow as well, which will not be a huge issue. We do have tickets to see Jack Johnson tomorrow evening, and I am pretty excited about this! If when I wake up tomorrow morning I am still dealing with this pain, I will stay home and rest so that I will feel okay to enjoy this show!
I really am frustrated with the healthcare system. It seems like you are not able to get straight answers, ever! All doctors want to do is prescribe something new, that will probably cause more issues. Who tell hell wants to be dealing with a pseudo flare up or a flare up right before their birthday and anniversary? If this was some kind of birthday present, how do I return or exchange it? I do not know of anyone that is alive that does not have some type of stress come into their lives at some point. How do you live life and not experience stress? Life dishes out stress at random times for a number of different reasons. If only there was a way to escape to some tropical island, without cell service and great weather, that would be my perfect escape!
that none of this is going to be permanent and life can and will get back to normal. Life throws us curve balls and we just need to do what we can to keep moving forward. No one ever said life was easy, we all have struggles but how we handle these struggles determines how our future plays out. No matter how it appears on the outside, none of us are dealt an easy hand in life. We need to do our best to stay positive and avoid negative as much as humanly possible. 
like tying your shoe or remembering to breath, it is difficult because life is challenging. Plus, I am trying to maintain life while dealing with incredible pain! I know that no matter how much I stress about a situation, they are all pretty much out of my control. It is not an option for me to just curl up in a ball and let the world keep spinning.
living with pain all the time. It really seems like nothing helps it. I will be honest with you too, I do not want to get the MRI. Whether what I am going through is a normal flare up or a pseudo relapses it will end. The only thing that steroids do is make the flare up not last as long. But, steroids do damage to your body and make me very irritated! I really think I would rather quickly learn, how to control and limit my stress level, and just wait this thing out. 
told me she was going to forward the information along to the doctor so they could determine if they wanted to move onto ordering a MRI. I mean seriously, besides having an infection what else does that really leave? Showing the doctor she was wrong about it being a pseudo relapse and it was a true relapse? I never once thought it was a pseudo relapse, I have thought from the beginning I was having a relapse, probably due to stress more than anything else! I think Multiple Sclerosis has to be one of the most frustrating diseases in this world because there are no cut and dry answers. There always seems to be a grey area. It does not seem to matter if you are doing everything the doctor says, there are still issues that were not seen coming. If only they had a crystal ball and could see the future and could be more prepared for what will happen!
start treatment for that? I really hate being on steroids, because they make me feel terrible! I am honestly scared of what this means! Does this mean the MS is progressing because I am so bad at dealing with stress? All this pain started before I switched medications, so I can not blame the Tecfidera. I can really only blame myself! Does this mean the pain I have been experiencing will never go away? I can not deal with this crap for the rest of my life, but I may not have a choice! It is a frustrating situation to be in. Of course all this is happening right before my birthday and mine and my husband’s anniversary. I mean, could it not have waited and happened another time? I really want to be able to enjoy my weekend with my husband and not be in horrible pain. 
it through. It is not like I have to do the MRI this weekend or even start steroids this weekend, so we can still enjoy ourselves. All I can do now is hope for the best!
medications that I am not comfortable with. As I already told you, she has me taking something that should help with neuropathy pain, but from the start I was not comfortable with this type of medicine and it has not helped me. I have been gradually weaning myself off of it and never want to take anything like it again! I try hard to listen and do what the doctor says, but she does not know my tolerance to medication. When I say very bluntly that I am uncomfortable with something and give solid reasons as to why I feel that way, that should be taken into consideration and not ignored. But you know how doctors can be, they think that they know everything and the patient should blindly listen! I am not able to do that!
go with my mother while we celebrate my birthday! I am planning to schedule an appointment with Katie for my pedicure! I wish I could say my trip to the grocery store was as wonderful, but it was not. I got about half way through the store and started hurting something fierce! I had to use the shopping cart to help me continue walking. Thankfully, the store was not busy because the football game was here in Charlotte. It is the absolute best time to go to the grocery store, because most people love football and go to the stadium! 
Monday, if that is even really possible. I am really hoping this week is going to be better and that the pain myself and my husband have struggled with is going to just go away! We did not ask for this but we are asking it to leave! It is like that annoying neighbor that comes to visit, there is only so long you can deal with them before they have to go back to where they came from!
MS is at all controllable, and that drives me crazy! I think it is quite obvious, I might have some control issues, and MS is not cooperating with my ideas of life!
wrong to deserve this. I was a 19-year-old girl when I was diagnosed, what could someone who age do to deserve a lifetime of pain? I am incredibly frustrated with having questions that do not have answers. People once said that this was a genetic illness, but no one in my family has this! Some say that heat causes it to be worse, which I do believe, but only because it makes me feel worse. But then again, my husband, who does not have MS, heat bothers him in a negative way. So how can anyone say that and be 100% sure heat would not affect me that same way if I did not have MS? Stress bothers everyone, so how can you say it affects those with MS more? 
not fake your way through. As I told you already, I am very real with y’all and do not sugar coat how I am feeling, but sometimes I do hide my true feelings in front of those that may judge and or just not understand. Thankfully, when I am home with my husband and cats, I do not have to hide behind my strong face and can be vulnerable, they are understanding! Deep down, I know that things will get better, it is just hard sometimes to believe that. I constantly have to remind myself that these issues are temporary and life will get back to be as normal as possible someday. I am trying to stay positive and not dwell on the negative things I am experiencing, but everyone no matter how strong they are need to let it all out sometimes. I keep telling myself that does not make me weak, just human!
that did the tests said, preliminary results would show today by 3pm. I really just want to know if all the increased pain I am dealing with is due to a simple infection or not. Infections are easily treated, whereas if this is something worse, I would like to know so I can deal with it! I for the life of me can not see an infection of any kind adding this much pain to my body. I think it is just mean to make someone wait so long for answers!
seeing my husband, who I love dearly, in any kind of pain. I wish that I could take his pain away, so he can be comfortable. Literally, all you can do when you have neck pain that causes a Migraine, is lay down in a dark, quite room with an ice pack on your head. But who are fooling, even that can only do so much. I know that for me, laying flat can ease some of my back pain, but I can still feel that sharp feeling. Any kind of chronic pain is aggravating and you can start to lose hope that it is ever going to go away.
difficult as it can be when we are both in a lot of pain, it is good at the same time, because we can be compassionate for one another. I am not going to lie, I hate living in pain, but this is my life and I have to make the most of it. Even though I live in constant pain, I am blessed and thankful that I married an amazing man who understands me more than anyone else! Is it crazy to say that I both love my life and hate it at the same time? I love my life because I have wonderful family, that is so understanding. But, I hate my life because I can not eliminate pain from our lives.
through something worse.” His words resonate in my head when I feel like I can not handle this anymore. Yes, I wish I did not have to deal with this disease, but it is the hand I was dealt in life. Just because you were dealt a bad hand, does not mean you should fold. I will keep fighting through this life, until I can not fight anymore, which will be a really long time! Giving up and surrendering to MS, will never be an option for me!
enthusiastic, but I am being very real! I do not posses the ability to sugar coat anything, so everything I write it straight from my heart. I do not hide my feelings well.
preliminary results of my test by Monday or Tuesday at the latest, and then get the final results by Thursday. She is making sure that my increased pain isn’t due to an infection. I suppose it would be better to have an infection that can be treated, instead of a flare up due to enhanced or new lesions. It is just little frustrating considering I did just have blood work done, and I would have thought if there was an infection my lab work at that time would have been abnormal, but I guess that is not how it works. I just do what I am told and hope for the best results possible!
can be lazy and do things at my own pace. I can wake up earlier than I should, and then fall asleep watching TV with my precious cats. Considering I am normally tired and want to lay down around 10 or 11 in the morning, I can do that on Saturdays and Sundays. It is wonderful to be able to do things at a leisurely pace and not be constricted by a time clock. Wouldn’t work be a lot easier to handle it we did not have to answer to anyone or focus so much on time? I think we would be more productive and be happier to go to work. I mean, as long as we get our work done, what is really the point of having to be there for SO many hours? 
Being upset about the pain or even thinking about it all day is not going to make it suddenly go away. I choose to be strong, and I choose to continue to fight against the pain I am dealing with. What other choice do I really have, surrender to the pain and allow it to control my daily life? Well, surrendering is not an option for me. I will continue to go to work, no matter how much I do not want to. I will continue to do what makes me happy, like doing my blog daily or shopping online or going to get my nails and toes done for as long as I am able to. For all we know, we get one chance at our life and there is no do overs. For me, I say let’s make the most of the life we were given.
Fightmsdaily 