Finding Comfort Within Yourself

It certainly seems the insanely southern summer heat is making its appearance with powerful domination. Summer technically does not begin until June 20th and yet where I live has already experienced 90-degree temperatures. I wonder what that means for us when it is actually summer.

The summer season provides me with one of my favorite places in the world to be at, the beach! The sounds, scents, and sights that are not only breathtakingly beautiful but also extraordinarily relaxing and alleviates any stress or tension that is being felt. If you are anything like me, you find the thoughts of wearing a bikini to be dreadful. After wearing oversized sweaters and hoodies during the autumn and winter months, the sheer idea of having to be exposed in a bathing suit in the summer is very disturbing. I guess this happens to me every year, but this year seems far worse. We have just spent the last few months being confined to our homes and not being physically active. I don’t know about you but I can feel and see the weight I have gained and it is awful. Of course, my husband tells me I am crazy and haven’t gained anything, but men are wrong a lot of the time and this is a prime example. Truthfully, I have always been very self-conscious of my weight and normally beyond critical of my appearance. I know how vain this sounds, but I am not really vain just hard on myself and have ridiculously high expectations and standards for myself.

Unfortunately, our bodies will inevitably undergo constant changes during the course of our lives. As we get older there may be changes to do not care for, but they are going to happen regardless of if we want them to or not. We need to start now finding ways to feel comfortable in our skin because life is too short to remain consumed with the changes to our appearances.

Throughout the remainder of this post, I am going to share several tips to help all of us feel more at ease in our skin and the body it covers.

Acknowledge that we are always changing-

The most critical thing to understand is we will always be changing during our lives. The only way we will feel comfortable within our skin are to become comfortable in the ways we will be changing. Both our outer appearances and inner-self will go through changes. Our self-conceptions, which are the thoughts and ways we see ourselves will shirt during our lives with each experience we go through. These shifts are unavoidable and should be accepted instead of resisting them.

Don’t hold onto the old you-

There are times when we see the changes we have gone through when looking in the mirror and still don’t want to accept them. Some days it is hard to recognize ourselves after there were numerous changes. This is mainly in regards to our physical appearances.

Aging is an unfriendly and unwelcome process that is both mentally and physically challenging. It is hard to become adjusted to our body’s new physique. If every time we look in the mirror to see our new reality and all we do is long for the times when we previously we were more physically fit and firm, we won’t ever find the comfort we need.

Don’t rush time-

There may be days we wish time would go by faster and we could reach our physical goals. For instance, say your goal is to lose 15lbs so you can fit into your old favorite pair of pants. This can be a very unsafe territory. When all we think about is the future will be better and we will feel confident again, we will never experience the joys in our present days. Life is too short and goals will be reached in their own time, so don’t wish away your days. Thinking the tomorrows will be better and happier could be giving us false beliefs.


Ignore the labels from the past-

Through the years we have all been given labels from other people. Some of these labels are unkind and malicious but were given by people with problems of their own to deal with. Some other labels were endearing and held onto. It is vital to try to not allow anyone or anything from our past to define the person we are today this includes all labels, kind of not.

Ignore other’s expectations for you-

This life is yours and only yours. You have the freedom to live your life the way you want. We all set expectations for ourselves that we want and should focus only on them. No matter who tries setting expectations for us, they should never matter or dictate our present or future.

Acknowledge what you like about yourself-

When we know the things we don’t like about ourselves in regards to our appearance and personality, we will focus solely on them. As opposed to obsessing about what we don’t like, we should try noticing the things we do like. Any qualities that cause us to feel good about ourselves should be our primary focal point. This could help us to stay positive and much happier.

Consider flaws in an area to improve and grow from-

What areas do you view as your flaws? Instead of only seeing them as flaws, use them to help yourself grow into a much stronger and confident person. No one can be good at everything they do or perfect, but there might be things that we can change for the better. Remember, if there are things that be can’t be change, it is okay and we need to learn how to accept them.

Recognize the benefits you offer-

Each and every one of us has skills, talents, and distinctive views that make us individuals with a lot of worth and value. Try to acknowledge all the magnificent things you bring to the world and learn how to treasure them.

Quit seeking approval from others-

We all tend to want to fit in with the people we spend our time with or obtain approval from certain influential people in the community. If we are looking for acceptance for how we do something from others, we are not accepting ourselves or our talents, therefore, will never feel comfort within ourselves.

Don’t worry what others think about you-

The best and most effective way to avoid having approval-seeking behavior is to stop caring what others think of us. The very core of this approach is to separate the thoughts others have from our own.

Surround yourself with those that accept you for who you are-

Once we are around people that do not judge or crucify us for what we do and or believe in, we will not have to waste our precious time and energy being concerned with what others are thinking. Not only will those we are spending our time enjoy time together more, but we will find it more enjoyable as well.

Now, can you envision how incredibly freeing this could be?

Practice being alone-

We may find spending time alone uncomfortable, but should never avoid it. Exposure to seclusion can provide us with the necessary time, and the peace and quiet to concentrate on our thoughts. These times of self-reflection can authorize us to determine what we are doing and thinking that contributes to our feelings of unease. When we spend time along we can put everyone and everything out of our minds and focus solely on ourselves. During the times we are alone, we can be who we are without worries of what others may think.

Don’t say “YES” when you mean “NO”-

Do not allow anyone to pressure us into doing anything we do not want to do. While it can be beneficial to push ourselves past our comfort zone at certain times, if we do things that do not appeal to us, we will only be contributing to feelings of discomfort. Keep in mind it is okay to say “NO”.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information that was provided was helpful and will benefit you or someone you know. If you have any additional tips you would like to share I am sure they will help anyone that reads them. Please know that I will respond to all comments within 24-hours, but hopefully sooner than that! I hope your day is going well, you are feeling the best you can, and you are remaining safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa