Accepting realities!

acceptanceSomething that I have had a really hard time admitting and accepting is that Multiple Sclerosis is a disability. Whenever I have applied for a job, there is always that annoying question “Do have or have you had a disability.” I mean what kind of BS question is that to ask someone? Of course I want to say “NO”, but Multiple Sclerosis is listed as a disability on the darn application and I can’t falsify anything on an application because that could result in me being disqualified for a position I applied for and want. I think this is so invasive and completely ridiculous, but I guess it is what it is in life!

For some strange reason the words disabled and disability shatter my heart into aimages million pieces and cause me to feel like a useless failure . I do realize how irrational this may sound, but that is how I have been feeling. It made me incredibly sad when I had a difficult time walking through a store last weekend because my legs and feet were experiencing SO much pain and weakness. All
hashtag person not disabilityI wanted to do was cry, but I couldn’t because I view that as letting this illness win the never-ending battle we have been in for years and that will NEVER be an option for me!!

I know I already shared with y’all that I figured out I am gluten-intolerant without the expensive tests a doctor would want to run. It seems like a punishment to have to deal withlife isn't fair the issues Multiple Sclerosis comes along with and then add gluten-intolerant to the mix seems quite unfair. I know we all deal with random issues and keep on moving forward because we do not have a choice. I am also very aware that many others deal with SO many other struggles that are far worse than what I am, so I am really not complaining. I am going to share more about this gluten-intolerant situation in a later post.

tired.jpgThe truth is, because I am always so exhausted during the week after working 8 hours every day of the week, I often don’t have the energy to write as much as I would like to. I end up with so many random thoughts running around like crazy in my mind; it gets so hard to keep track of them all and have those thoughts come together for a good read and one that I am proud of.

For the past week or so, I have been experiencing an increase in the number of horrible do not confuse bad days as weaknessdizzy/black-out spells. I have had these issues happen before, but never so many in just one day. At least 2 days last week, there were several moments when the room went completely dark and there NO were sounds at all, which under other circumstances would be great. There was one time I was talking with a co-worker at her desk about work and all of sudden I felt weak, light-headed, hot as hell and dizzy. Luckily I was standing very close to the wall, which kept me standing upright. It might have been pretty embarrassing if I all of sudden fell to the floor at this new job.

I am not really sure which of these issues are more images (3)terrifying; dizzy spells, black-out moments or the combination of the two. Of course I would say the combination of dizziness and black-out would the most terrifying because you are dealing two different disturbing issues at the same time. I have dealt with dizzy spells for so many years now, but I have found ways that help me limit the duration of my dizziness, most of the time at least.

Truthfully my experiences with black-out spells aren’t plentiful in comparison to dizziness, but I have enough sense and knowledge to download (6)understand how horribly upsetting they can be. I remember a few years ago there was a period of time when I had a several short black-outs throughout the week, but they weren’t anywhere near as severe as they are now. I am not sure if its stress, lack of sleep, weather changes or something else. The list of possible reasons really could go on and on and on, but I really just wish they were STOP!

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I will never pressure you to leave a download (7)comment, but I do encourage your comments if that makes any sense, but I know your thoughts will be amazing. I promise to respond to your comments as quickly as I can! I hope you are feeling well and enjoying your weekend! Sometimes I think the best part of a weekend isn’t getting out and staying busy, but not having any plans at all so there aren’t any time requirements. My days are set in stone during the week with work, which I tend to strongly dislike, but I guess it is just the life of adulthood. I enjoy spending my 2 very short weekend days living in the moment and not doing anything that might cause unnecessary stress. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Puzzle of Life!

Good afternoon y’all! I hope your weekend is starting off great and only gets better moving forward! Weekends provide much comfort and relaxation, which is often very needed and well deserved. I am still trying to get adjusted to this working full-time thing and still maintaining household duties, my blog and anything else that comes my way. Honestly it isn’t easy, but I also think I can handle it!

Over the past week or so, I have been thinking about how much our lives actually resemble a huge jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes we have a piece that fits together perfectly and other times nothing at all fits the way we expect or want  it to. It really is like when you try putting a large puzzle together, but some of the pieces you have in front of you become difficult to place because of their shape and size. We all face the same situation daily when we are confronted with people with different views and behaviors. We may strongly disagree with others point of views, but we are all entitled to our own views and perspectives. As long as these  thoughts do not cause physical and or emotional harm to another it should be accepted. 

Personally I think I am very capable of getting along with everyone and anyone, as long life-is-like-a-puzzle-stop-trying-to-place-people-where-they-dont-fit-quote-1as they are respectful of me and my beliefs. I have never tried changing another person or their views because that is just wrong to do! I feel that if we were all alike the world would be downright boring and we need diversity! I enjoy being around people who are different from myself and find learning about how they view things pretty fascinating!

All relationships and even jobs can be like putting a challenging puzzle together. When you start a new job, there will be some that51accc1426746b8fa9976fe7436086f5  co-workers you mesh well with and others whom you don’t and that is perfectly okay! You really can’t force the pieces of life together, things just fit when it’s meant to be! I have always believed that everything in life happens for a reason and when it is supposed to. Of course I tend to forget this often and get frustrated because I just want things to work out perfectly. I guess that is the part of me that is controlling, but we all have our faults and we deal with them as needed. 

Other parts of life, like dealing with a chronic illness or other difficulties just adds to thepuzzle-pieces-of-life-2-stock-illustration_csp34374889 puzzle of our life. It can be incredibly frustrating and test our strengths, but at the end of the day we can be proud of what we have accomplished. It is so important to never give up and know all the pieces will fit perfectly eventually.

I did try the new Editor version of WordPress, but did not do all that well with it. I will puzzle-piece-quotekeep trying and I am sure I will understand how it works soon. Have y’all tried it yet and do you have any advice for me?

Thank you for stopping by my site today! I always appreciate your words of wisdom and kindness. I am still working on getting caught up on reading and commenting on your posts and should be caught up before the weekend ends. I hope the rest of you day is amazing and you are feeling the best you can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Lies and Deceit!

images (1)I think it our society today, politicians and even BIG corporations have glorified their skills with lies and deceit. We watch many of these individuals make speeches with hardly any truth to them, but yet many people believe each and every lie they hear! For the life of me I can’t understand why so-called smart people can actually fall for the blatant lies even when there is solid evidence of the lies that were spoken. 

The truth will always come out and the liars will be revealed for what they truly are. It download-1-1.jpgseems that those that believe the lies they hear from, let’s say politicians, often think it is perfectly acceptable to do the same and only speak lies themselves. Of course there is a slight possibility those that constantly tell lies actually believe what they are saying to be true, but it is also possible they just get some kind of insane thrill when they tell lies, which is really sad! 

lies and deceit 1I do believe people can change, BUT only if they can admit to themselves what they are doing wrong and work to correct their unacceptable behaviors. None of us are perfect, but most of us do learn from our mistakes and do our very best to not make the same mistakes again! 

We live and learn to become better, not worse. Our lives should be about finding ways totime-will-inevitably-uncover-dishonesty-and-lies-history-has-no-place-for-them-f3ae1e880f2fbb24bd5e1e51d026a4ad not only better who we are, but to also progress into something more than we were. It does seem like SO many people choose to digress, which really doesn’t do much for them or anyone around them.

Is anyone else just completely sick and tired of hearing nothing but lies daily?? I think I have heard more than I can take and am choosing to eliminate anything to do with lies from my life. I guess this means I can’t watch the news or read images (2)about it anymore, not that I intentionally watched the news before, but my husband does and tells me what is happening! If someone can’t be completely transparent and truly honest with me, I just don’t have room in my life or tolerance for it anymore! The only thing that lies accomplish is hurt and disappointment. Even holding onto these words, “Enjoy the good times, but always expect the bad to return,” isn’t helping anymore!!

Please forgive me for yet again another rant, but seriously downloadwriting is the only thing that helps ease my troubled mind. I do appreciate you taking the time to read this post and I am looking forward to reading your comments! I hope you have had a lovely and relaxing weekend and of course feeling the best you possibly can! Never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Truths of stress!

the-biggest-killer-in-this-world-is-stress-and-the-14748167.pngHave you ever asked your self what exactly stress is and what the heck causes it? I know I have more times than I can count, using all ten fingers and toes! Do you know what stress can actually do to you both physically and mentally? It is a difficult thing to control and even harder to eliminate it from our daily lives.

Stress can feel like a reoccurring nightmare that you just can’t wake up from and it can happen anytime. Often you might feel you have it under control because you think you have identified and solved what was causing your stress, but it always seems to return with an evil vengeance! It can actually make you feel like you are drowning in the darkest and deepest ocean without a life vest available.2stress_jokes_600x4502-600x400

Stress can make us feel overloaded and leave us wondering how we will ever cope with the stress that was put on us. This issue can change our views and perspectives on life and it isn’t ever for the better, or at least it never is for myself. I am sure you have heard before that stress is a killer, well sadly there are many reasons this is very true!! There is absolutely NO logical reason why I can’t stop feeling like this more often than not!

stress 2Y’all probably already know the difference between stress and stressors, but I just want to clarify this a little more. A stressor is the agent actually causing the feelings of stress. These are things we respond to in our environment and can range drastically! Stress is the numerous feelings we have when faced with pressures!

I know how incredibly difficult and painful it is to live with stress. Even though I am stress-illustrationfully aware of the dangers, I continue to battle with this. Personally, I have battled stress for 37 years and tend to worry about anything and everything! I think it is highly likely I was even a stress case while my mother was pregnant with me! Damn, I imagine I was a difficult child and probably worried if my dolls and other toys were happy. Can you even imagine dealing with a toddler that has these feelings? I think my mother probably does!

There are many emotional and physical disorders that are linked to stress. A few of these disorders include: depression, anxiety, heart attacks, strokes, hypertension (high blood pressure), stress-info.pngimmune system disturbances that increase susceptibility to infections, common colds and so much more. Now for those of us living with an already weak immune system, it really should be a no brainer stop stressing, if only it was that easy!

There are many signs and symptoms attached to stress, but I am only going to list a few so this  isn’t an insanely long post. Many of these I was fully aware of, like headaches, pain and panic attacks, but there are also some I wasn’t aware of. Just a few of these signs and symptoms I may have symptoms of stressknown about, but never associated them with stress are dizziness, fainting, dry mouth, ringing sounds and cold/sweaty hands/feet.

My doctor and Nurse Practitioner (NP) have been telling me for decades that stress can and will cause my health to deteriorate, but I never listened to them because I don’t know how to not worry. I mean, how crazy is it to tell a person that already becomes stressed easily something that would cause anyone to worry? One of usatcollege-CollegeUSAT-567808-stressthe last times I saw the NP she told me I shouldn’t write on my blog much because it would cause me to feel anxious. Even though I do value her opinions because she did work closely with my first specialist, I told her she couldn’t be more wrong. Writing has always provided me the absolute best form of therapy and relaxation!

As I wrap this post up, let me as y’all a few questions. Do you face a lot of stress in yourLoyola-why-is-nursing-school-so-stressful-4-stressors life? Obviously I know living with a chronic illness does cause unwanted feelings of stress, but how do you handle these feelings in  a healthy and beneficial way? Knowing how incredible each of you are, I will value and appreciate learning how you combat these feelings.

Thank y’all so much for stopping by my site today! Of course y’all already know that I do encourage your comments, but I also will never pressure you to do this. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and you are able to do what brings you the most joy because that is what you deserve! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

The rant about healthcare & insurance!

charlie-ergen-quote-to-use-a-poker-analogy-if-the-deck-is-a-bitHave y’all ever felt like the cards were stacked up against you? Living with a chronic illness already gives the house a much better hand, but I will always refuse to fold! We have all learned various ways to cope with what we live with and to keep up a good fight despite any additional struggles we are forced to face. I learned many years ago that the storms of life will only gain more strength, but weathering these storms can and will be done.

I do think the unexpected issues that arise can be the most problematic and perplexing ones. Losing my job for absolutely no reasonable or seasonable reason really did send my mind into a downward spiral. I have tried my best to stay positive dda6dd8c8211c5c345ce66f0f5558197--quotes-about-worrying-quotes-about-stressthrough the time I was without a job, but the continued nagging fear of being without insurance while living with a chronic illness is beyond terrifying. It almost feels like being on a roller coaster without a safety belt on and this feeling gets the best of me more than I like to admit. I know I have complained before, which isn’t helpful at all, about how crummy and expensive insurance is, but being without it with Multiple Sclerosis or any chronic illness is very unpleasant. Medications and doctor’s visit are expensive with insurance and I hate that I know how much these things are without insurance. Thankfully I have only been forced to go to one doctor’s visit without insurance which was very expensive and I found that GoodRx.com does help reduce the price of medications! Even though I have found ways around the doctor’s visits, I am still always in a constant fear of what will happen if I have a relapse or if these corrupt idiots corruption-power-quotes-01.jpgrunning this country mess with pre-existing conditions because this could happen. I do know that thinking about these things is nothing but stressful and will only create additional health issues, but it is impossible for me to let go of these thoughts and feelings.

Y’all already know that I have been battling with a crazy stomach issue for over a month and I am avoiding seeking medical attention until I have insurance again. I mean who stomach issuescan really afford these various appointments and all the tests doctors think they need to run on their patients? I am not, never have been and never will be in the tax bracket that can afford this. What kind of person can look at someone with an illness of any kind and only see dollar signs? To me, that is not a good or compassionate person, but they are the ones on top. It is really unfortunate that some can be as evil and corrupt as they possibly can be, but not ever face the consequences for their bad behaviors.

gilenyaThe Gilenya I take daily to keep my Multiple Sclerosis under some kind of control costs $8,500 per month without insurance. This is completely absurd and absolutely ludicrous! Unfortunately, GoodRx isn’t able to assist with this medication. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell can’t afford these high costs. I have been going through an amazing program called Gilenya Go Program since being on this medication and my cost has always been $0. I don’t even want to think about what I would have gilenya-go-programdone if this program didn’t exist. Considering I do not have insurance at the moment and only have about one month left on hand of this medication, I did panic. I have spoken with an amazing representative for the Gilenya Go Program and she told me all I would need to do is call them when I am down to one week left and they will send this medication to me free of charge and can do this for about 2 months. By the time they aren’t able to assist me any longer, I will have insurance again, so thankfully I will not go without. This is just me, but Gilenya has been helping keep me semi free of relapse and further progression.

GLN01260I also take Neurontin, three times a day. This is another medication that is a little expensive, but nowhere near the crazy cost of Gilenya. A one month supply of Neurontin with insurance was only $10, which is very affordable. Now without insurance this will end up costing me close to $300 per month! If I do go through the GoodRx,com website, I might be able to get this medication for around $47 per month which is still high but a lot more feasible than $300!

Now there are a few other medications I do take daily that are rather expensive, but the GoodRx website has been very helpful with these. How is it that the United States of othercountrieshealthcarecs.jpgAmerica is the ONLY developed country that doesn’t offer free healthcare? An even better question is why are the American people so scared of having free healthcare? My guess is, these people are blindly listening to the ones in power that say this will never be a good option and much more negative lies about it. Free healthcare has been great for all the other developed countries with the citizens only saying great things about their free healthcare! In my personal opinion, those that say nothing good about free healthcare need to dig a little deeper and far beyond what American leaders say, until they can think for common sensethemselves with a clear mind and actual logic!

I want to thank you for visiting my site today and reading my rant about how awful healthcare is in the United States. In all honesty I do not like to complain because it doesn’t fix the issue, but I needed to get my thoughts out and really want to know your thoughts on this! I hope you have a lovely and peaceful Sunday. I feel that the weekend went by way too fast and I have to get up early again and back to work tomorrow. I mean seriously, where did the weekend go? Is it really too much to ask to have our weekends be a little longer? I promise to respond to all your comments as quickly as I can and considering it is Sunday, I should be able to do this! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

More talk about MS!

ms march awarenessMultiple Sclerosis is a very complex and frustrating battle to face. Unfortunately, this illness does impact everyone’s life in  so many different ways and to the point it’s almost hard to pinpoint what is what! There have been various names people choose to use when referring to  MS; such as the snowflake disease or invisible illness. I think these terms can also be used in many other chronic illnesses as well because they are fitting. I mean if you think about it, there are no two snowflakes that are exactly the alike,  just like no illnesses experiences the exact same symptoms. Also, there are so many of these illnesses that are completely naked to the eye, so they are pretty much invisible in the bigger picture. 51209211_2039825619447292_5206443739896197656_n

Let me ask my wonderful fellow bloggers, whether you live with MS or know someone else that does, what do you already know about this not so fun illness? Honestly,I think the only thing everyone knows to be 100% true is this illness can vastly differ for each individual! There might be times throughout the years each person with MS will unfortunately have a new symptom emerge and they need to learn to cope with this. While no one wants to deal with anything additional and all symptoms can be daunting, there  really are always ways to carry on with life!

symptomsI know there may be countless responses to this, but what are your top 5 most challenging issues you have been forced to accept during your journey? One thing I find very challenging and the most aggravating is how completely unpredictable this illness is. I have and probably always will be an obsessive planner! It drives me crazy for any unplanned issues to appear without any warning! Over the years, I have learned to expect the unexpected and be willing to rearrange my plans.

Another part of my MS life I find challenging, but am learning to accept is there are th-26-300x111NEVER any real answers for the numerous questions I ask my doctor. I would have never thought my questions were so difficult that my specialist can’t answer them. I mean these doctors go through enough schooling they should have a wealth of knowledge to match this. I am sure the schooling for many years is very expensive and probably more money than I will make in MANY years! Maybe while in school they should have a class in good bedside manner because most neurologist have a terrible personality. I think they have a godlike and ego maniac demeanor. 

flat,550x550,075,f.u4The third challenging aspect of this life that I have almost accepted is, the complete ignorance and total lack of empathy most people have for others. The ugly glances and degrading comments I have seen and heard over my years, especially when I park in a handicap parking space are nothing short of hurtful! Even though I have lived with this for many years, these glances and comments still can bring me to tears. This really doesn’t have anything to do with me, but is all on them! These people probably believe that misery loves company and try to bring me down to their level, which I try to avoid!

It doesn’t matter how long I have struggled with this illness, fatigue still tries to kick my Worst-MS-symptombutt daily! It was always complicated for me when I was working full-time because it never failed at about 1:00 or 2:00 if I am lucky I was exhausted! I have accepted this issue and try my best to conserve my energy so I am not ready for a nap at lunch time!

Lastly and to keep this from being too terribly long, the final challenging thing for me to accept is the constant pain I feel. It often seems like I am going to always to battle with pain and with little to no relief. I do know that dwelling on this pain only causes the pain to worsen instead of lesson and this just  isn’t an option for me! I do try focusing on the positive in my life instead of the negative hoping these thoughts will trick my body into healing! I also believe acceptance is half the battle and laughcan help keep my stress in check which will in-turn lessen the pain.

I would like to thank y’all for stopping by my site today. I told y’all on March 1st that for MS Awareness month I wanted to shed more light on this illness because knowledge is power! I am looking forward to reading your comments and do hope this was helpful for you!

I hope you have had a good week and of course hope you are feeling well. The weekend is finally here and  I hope you enjoy every moment of it! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and  many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Rain, Rain, please go away!

Rain stay awayGood evening y’all! I am just curious, how do y’all feel about rainy days? Personally, I have very mixed emotions about this for SO many reasons. In one sense, rainy days give us the perfect excuse to not leave the house! We don’t have to get up shower, fix our hair and put makeup on for that matter. Staying at home where we can stay warm, dry and cozy snuggled up on the couch with a loving pet/pets or our significant other.

The rainy days 🌧also give the opportunity to binge watch Netflix, which I am guilty of with Gossip Girls. Try not to laugh too hard at me with this, but I know it is kind of rainy days goodamusing! If you don’t care much about Netflix or not have it we can sit around watching our favorite old movies or new ones we want to watch, read that book we have been pushing off far too long, catch up on much-needed and well-deserved rest or even just do literally nothing at all! The part about catching up on rest can be very easy because the sound of the rain 🌧 falling down can be very soothing or at least it is for me!

On the other hand, rain 🌧 can and does produce much higher amounts of horrible i-am-in-pain-you-just-dont-know-it-cause-i-smile-through-the-rain-and-refuse-to-show-it.pain.When you are already forced to deal with massive pain on just a normal day, the additional pain endured can be down right miserable.

When all there is to view outside is rain clouds ☁ and dreary weather, the simple lack of sunshine can cause much sadness. If you combine rainy 🌧 weather with someone who might already be experiencing other personal struggles, this can possibly send someone into a very negative tailspin of depression. However, it is just as likely this horrible combination can simply create temporary isolation from others and the outside world. The temporary isolation and depression can improve in its own time, which really can’t be rushed.

Even though it is very common for rainy  days 🌧 to cause minor drowsiness, it can progresssleep into pure exhaustion. This feeling can also include a lack of motivation and ambition. During this time, it isn’t easy to get the most simple tasks completed because the normal energy we have escapes us for a short time.

When ALL you have seen for 12 days straight is rain 🌧, the absolute WORST thing possible  to do is read or watch the weather updates. I know this because that is exactly what I did on Friday afternoon. It was so sad because the weatherman was predicting 60%-80% chances of rain 🌧 for several more days. I mean come on, it already rained 🌧 for 12 days and there was flooding in many areas. Sometimes I am logical and understand that predictions can change several times without much warning. I guess we are all just at the mercy of Mother Nature and we all know she will do whatever she pleases with little to no explanation!

break-from-rain.jpgNow on a positive note, finally after all those days of rain, I am getting a three-day break from rain!!! Hopefully all of my excitement won’t scare off the sun ☀ in my near future! I was thrilled when I woke up today and saw that foreign beauty ☀ in the sky! It wasn’t really cold today where I live, but it was incredibly windy. Honestly I would much prefer windy, chilly and sunny as opposed to cold and wet any day!

Thank y’all for taking time out of your evening to stop by my site! I do always appreciate all imagesof your support and great comments. Let me just ask, how was your weekend? I do hope you had a pleasant one and were able to do the things that bring you the most joy. I hope the last few hours of the weekend are delightful and you are getting yourself prepared for a new week! I do look forward to reading your comments and I promise to respond as quickly as I can! Never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

P.S. There are more blogger recognition’s coming soon!!