Random Emotions Building

~My Random Emotions Coming Together~

Two weeks ago, today our lives were tragically changed when we lost our sweet little girl Chloe. It has not been easy adjusting to life without Chloe because she was a huge part of our family. We had that sweet baby girl for more than 15 years and now the house feels a little empty without her. It does provide some solace knowing that we gave her a wonderful and loving home, but the void in our hearts is deep. Although Chloe is not with us physically, this sweet cat will live on forever in our hearts. Not only are my husband and I feel the loss, but our younger cat misses Chloe as well. Thankfully, Sundance, our younger cat still has a personality that makes us smile.

A few things happened today, that made a mark. My grandmother, on my mother’s side of the family, passed away. Unfortunately, she and I did not have your typical grandmother/granddaughter relationship. The two of us were strong-willed and never backed down, even with each other. I am not sure if I would say we had a lot in common because I do believe we were vastly different, but she was still my grandmother. I will say I remember her as a child and do have a few good memories. I do wish there had been a way we could have made a mend before her passing, but we did not have any ill words with each other. Honestly, it might have been because we did not speak much. I hope her last days were peaceful and she was comfortable when she took her last breath.

Another interesting thing that happened today is, my father and I had a nice talk. I called him to tell him about my grandmother’s passing. They had not spoken in more than 30 years, but I guess I had to talk openly about it. One thing that my father said to me today meant more than I could ever explain was how proud my grandfather had always been of me. He told me that I could make my grandfather smile even if he was having a bad day and that means the world to me. I have told y’all before how much my grandfather meant to me and how much I admired him. Knowing that my grandfather was proud of me will stay with me and help me through challenging times.

During my conversation with my father, I mentioned to him that I was considering entering a writing contest. Of course, I always question my writing abilities, but he told me that he thought I should because he always enjoyed reading what I write about. He assured me that I shared something in common with my grandfather and that was how the way our writing showed deep emotions and our strong personality. It makes me feel good knowing that I have some of my grandfather’s devotion and strength because he was an amazing man that I will always hold close to my heart. Something that has always amazed me is, how one small thing another person says can have an enormous impact on another person life and typically in a good way!

I am taking into consideration everything my father told me when I talked about the writing contest, but now I need to decide what I will write about. I know it is important to take chances, but I also need to learn too not be so hard on myself. Over the past three years, I have had the chance to get to know all of you and it has been a great opportunity. With that said, have any of you entered any writing contests and if so, how did you decide what you would write about? I value your opinions and advice, so I look forward to reading your thoughts!

I am sure y’all have noticed that I have been a little absent from blogging. This week has been strange. Not only have I been dealing with the loss of Chloe, but I have felt very sluggish and had a lack of energy. There have been many times I wanted to sit down and write about something but could not get through it. I guess it might have something to do with the weather changes because it has not only been cold, but we have had an insane amount of rain. The colder weather always have a negative effect on how I feel, but then so does the rain. I guess the combination has been a double threat!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have enjoyed reading what I wrote about today. I also hope you had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tranquil Tuesday

Emotions On February 16th

You may or may not remember that I did already get my first COVID vaccine and had my 2nd one scheduled for this past Saturday. Although last week was painfully difficult and I considered rescheduling, I did not want to risk missing my chance of completing the COVID series and be a little safer with this virus. My husband went with me to complete the 2nd COVID vaccine and after that, we went to pick up the remains of our sweet Chloe that had passed away the previous Sunday. I do not know if I would have had the strength to pick Chloe up if I did not have my husband with me, so I am glad we were able to do this together.

I will say there was a mixture of emotions with picking up Chloe’s remains, one part of me was incredibly sad and the other felt a sense of comfort to have her back home with us. I know some people that cannot understand having a cat cremated, but I prefer this to bury her. I already had mentioned in a previous post we lost another cat to cancer and had her cremated as well, so now they are both on our mantel in the living room. It has taken time, but I think we are both slowly healing from the loss of Chloe. Neither of us is ready to take in another cat, but we do know we will in time, so our other cat is not lonely. Our other cat does show signs that he misses Chloe and is acting out a little, but it is probably to get attention. Or maybe he is doing these things because he is just being a little boy! Who knows, but we are giving him a little slack right now!

If you read the post I did after I got the first COVID vaccine, you might remember that I was extremely nervous. When I did the 2nd COVID vaccine, I was not as nervous. I did hear there was a greater chance of side effects after the 2nd vaccine, but I did not really have any. I will admit, my arm hurt a lot for a few days and the pain did go up into my shoulder and neck, but I am used to pain. I did have a slight cough and headache, but again, I am used to things like that. Even after the two weeks or so after the 2nd vaccine, we are supposed to be protected more, I still intend to behave like I did not get the vaccine and continue wearing a mask the rare times I leave my house. I guess I look at things like it is better to be safe than sorry!

As y’all already know, I did take a break from blogging last week. I was too emotional and heartbroken to do much of anything but did try to stay busy at work. I did not have any extra energy when I was done at work to write, look at another computer screen, and was not even able to do much with crocheting the blanket I had started for my mother and her boyfriend. I am happy to say though, I have finished their blanket and will be sending it to them this week! I have always found crocheting to be relaxing and it is not all that difficult. I am happy that I can send them an extremely late housewarming gift to use in their home! They both know that even though I have known him for a lot of my life, I took a while to warm up to my mother’s boyfriend. I think I have grown a lot over this past year and gotten to know him better and think he is a decent person. I also think they are good for one another and he has helped her overcome some demons she carried with her for too long.

In life, things can get challenging and unique situations can arise. These are just a couple of the reasons why forgiveness and acceptance are so crucial. Until we walk in another person’s shoes, we will not know what they have been through in life. I think all the trials and tribulations we experience in life will either make us or break us. Everything we encounter in our life can make us even stronger than we were yesterday, and we must take all these learning experiences as opportunities for improvement!

On another note, today would have been my Poppy’s birthday! I know I have written about this amazing man before and I explained how hard I took it when he passed away back in 2013. There has not been one day I have not thought about him or wondered if he would be proud of the woman I have become. I would like to think that there are at least parts of me that stem from him. I know he was a kind, accepting, and reasonable man. He never judged someone because of the color of their skin or who they loved. These are a few things that I am deeply passionate about because the color of someone’s skin does not matter and who they love does not either. What truly matters is the way we treat other human beings, and everyone deserves respect!

Thank you for visiting my site today! Previously, I was doing Tranquil Tuesday, and sharing a quote, but today I wanted to do something a little different. Honestly, in a sense thought of my late Poppy does give me feelings of tranquility! Today’s post was a combination of a few things to get a little caught up! As always, I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

~A New Week & New Opportunities~

Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a nice weekend and you are ready to begin another week. There is a chance it is going to be a busy week, but sometimes busy is the best way for the week to be. I tend to think the busier I am, the faster the day goes by. This is probably because I get too busy to even look at the clock. Truthfully, whether we are ready for the new week or not, it is here and we can choose to be thankful for it, and enjoy our life!

It is our choice to accept the new week as a gift or a burden. I am going to choose to take on the new week as a gift and make the most of it. I want to help y’all to start your week with a positive mindset and then hope your week gets better with each day. I hope the quote I am sharing with y’all will help you to not only accept yourself, but love yourself for the amazing individual you are. Treasure the knowledge that you are incredibly strong and that you will not anything or anyone weigh you down ever!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed the quote I shared and would love to know what you think about it. I promise to respond to all comments we quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

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~Pick Me Up Thursday~

~Thankfulness Week: Day 4~

Happy Friday Eve and Thanksgiving y’all! I hope your week has gone well and you are ready for the weekend! Holidays this year are much different than what we are used to, but unfortunately, this is where most of us are now. COVID-19 has caused so much heartache and stress for so many of us. Now is a time we all need to be a little more understanding, patient, supportive, and thankful for our lives and our loved ones. The struggles we might be facing right now in our lives, we need to remember that someone else could be going through something much worse than we are.

In the beginning of this week, I told you I would share with y’all two things I am thankful for each day and why, so will continue doing this today! On Thanksgiving, I think about the families out there that are in shambles because they lost someone they love to COVID-19 and I am truly thankful that everyone I know, and love is safe from this evil virus. We hear the stories told on the news from the front-line workers that are in the hospitals taking care of COVID-19 patients and the families that have gone through tragic loses. Each story breaks my heart a little more and I wish there was something I could do for these heartbroken people. All I know to do is anytime I leave my house to wear a mask, gloves, and social distance, and continue hoping others will do the same.

Another thing I am thankful for is the love and support I feel each day from my family. I was raised by a young and single mother, who didn’t have a good role model she could follow the example of to be a mother, but she did the best she could. She raised me to be kind, loving, understanding, tolerant, and compassionate. She and I do not agree on everything and know the topics we have different opinions on which are often avoidable. Overall, leaving hot topics out of the equation, I am thankful for the person she raised me to be. Between the guidance and love from my mother and grandfather, I am a strong, kind, loving, understanding, some-what tolerant person, and I never judge others on anything but the way they treat others.

Whatever you are doing today for Thanksgiving, I hope you are staying safe and enjoying the day. As crazy as this is going to sound, I will be home like always and working for a few hours. I think I might be a little too dedicated to my job or I am a bit of a work alcoholic, but I guess that is easy to do when you work from home. No matter if I am actually working or not, I am home where my home office is and tend to feel like I am always at work, I guess that is because I am.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you and your family have a nice, relaxing, and safe day! As always, I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am ALWAYS sending you LOVE, compassion, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Tranquil Tuesday~

We’ve Made It Through One Day, We’ve Got This!

Happy Tuesday y’all! One day down and only four to go, but it is going to be a great week! It is much better to view each day as an opportunity, instead of an inconvenience. There is still so many unpleasant feelings being spread around and it is sad. I know there are some people in the United States that are not happy with the outcome of the election, but many others that are happy with the results. Unfortunately, those that are not happy about the results are angry and starting arguments, and causing harm to others, which should never happen. It is time to let things be what they are and only hope for better times in the future.

The new week has started and Monday is in the past now. To try and cleanse ourselves from troublesome feelings, we need more tranquility in our lives. I hope the quote I am sharing with y’all today will offer you comforting and easing feelings. I do believe the more we try understanding others and knowing we are all dealing with struggles. We might not always know how to help others, but we can at least try listening and put forth an effort.

As we all already know, there are still huge spikes in new cases of COVID-19. All I ask is, please stay safe and continue following the advice we have heard from the experts. It is crucial to always wear a mask when you leave you home and practice social distancing. I know that no one enjoys wearing a mask and I do understand that because it is uncomfortable, but I do think a little temporary discomfort is worth our life. Social distancing is the easiest thing we can do and yet many people have a difficult time with this.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today! I always appreciate you taking the time to read and love reading your comments, which I try responding to as quickly as I can. I hope you have a great day and of course, stay safe! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Been on my mind

~Living Life With An Unpredictable Illness~

I have decided to write about a few things that have been weighing on my mind lately. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed with life, work, and health concerns. There always seems to be something going on in the world from the political insanity to COVID-19 to mass levels of hatred that is being spread even fast than the virus.

I think after everyone that wanted to vote did so and the counting was finished, there should not be any more talk about it. The voices of SO many American people spoke out and there is going to be a new president starting in January 2021! There is a chance we may have hope now because we are not going to have an immature person that is unable to take accountability for what has happened with this pandemic and is definitely not a leader in the White House.

As for COVID-19, if people would just follow the advice we have all been told for months now, MAYBE there would be more control over the virus by now. Unfortunately, the few times I actually leave my house hardly anyone is wearing a mask. I just do not understand why because I know they must have seen the news and see the numbers on the consistent rise. The virus is NOT a joke. This virus is killing thousands of people every day and it needs to stop.

The hatred that is being spread will never make sense to me. I have said this to y’all multiple times, but I have to say it again, everyone should be treated equally and with respect. A person’s race, color, sex, national origin, sexual orientation, religious following, and anything else should not matter because we ALL have a beating heart and feelings. No one should ever feel shame for who they are, but instead should be proud. The rage and hate that is filling the United States must end because the death, injuries, and fear are things that never should happen.

I will end my little rant now, but I do want to share with y’all a little about what my life has been like living with an unpredictable illness, especially during the pandemic. Most of you, if not all of you are already aware that this is definitely not easy. Of course, there are good days along the way, but then there are also those days that are more grueling than any others. The truth is there are some days it is challenging for me to even get down the stairs to the home office and begin my workday because my legs hurt terribly and they are extremely weak, but I do manage to get there.

Besides the continuous pain I have from my knees down to my toes, I have massive amounts of pain issues from the middle to the lower area of my back. Considering I have been living with Multiple Sclerosis for two decades, I have learned to live with the pain. I guess it is safe to say that I have learned to not just live with the pain, but also accept it as part of my life. I mean there really isn’t another way because I am not going to allow for Multiple Sclerosis to dictate my life as I want to control my own life. Unfortunately, there is not a cure for Multiple Sclerosis yet and I want to live my life to the fullest I possibly can. After all, I did make my late Poppy a promise 20 years ago that I would NEVER give up and I refuse to disappoint him by not keeping that promise!

Another difficult symptom I have been dealing with more lately is dizziness. Previously, the dizzy spells were random and only a few times a year, but recently they have been awful. Last week, I had two dizzy spells within a few days of each other. The second one happened after my husband and I finished dinner, and I told him before I tried to start cleaning that I didn’t feel right. When I tried standing up and I told my husband I was very dizzy, so he started cleaning up for me. I still attempted to try helping and when I thought I had control of the dizziness, I fell in the kitchen. Of course, my husband came running to my side to make sure I was not hurt. The only injuries were a few bruises to my knees and thankfully did not hit my head. Even after sitting on the floor with my husband for a few minutes, I still didn’t feel like I could stand without falling, so my sweet and caring husband carried me into our room.

I want to thank y’all for visiting my site today and reading this post. Even though I know some of you can relate to this, I wish you didn’t have to because I know it isn’t all that fun. On my worst days something that helps me get through them is I can hear my Poppy’s voice saying “No matter what you are going through in life, someone else is always going through something worse. “ He always told me he believed in me and that I was strong enough to get through anything thrown at me and I know he was right!

I would love to read your comments and promise to respond as quickly as I can. I know sometimes it takes me longer to respond, but that is because I have been working no less than 45 hours a week and sometimes more. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Let It Go Friday~

~We Finally Made It Through The Week!~

Happy Friday y’all! I hope y’all had a great and safe week. My week was, of course, busy but it does make the days go by so much faster. There are a few reasons I am excited for the weekend. It will be so nice to not have to wake up early and work for 8 to 9 hours. Then deal with staring at a computer screen and explaining to people what I need them to provide me with so their loans can be purchased. It is going to be amazing to have free time to work on cleaning, organizing, and anything else I want to do and make me happy!

Now that the weekend is finally here, what are your plans? Y’all already know that COVID is serious and the numbers are increasing steadily, so PLEASE stay safety! We all want to enjoy life, but to continue enjoying life we must practice all the safe precautions that experts have suggested!

The final day of the week before the weekend we all look forward to begins, is the perfect day to let go of all stress and negative feelings the week put on us! There is no reason to carry these emotions into the very short weekend that is meant to be enjoyed! I hope the quote I am sharing with y’all today will offer you the strength to let go of any unpleasant feelings you have from the week and you will be able to enjoy your weekend to the fullest!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I truly appreciate the time you take to read what I write and the quote I share. I love reading your comments and being able to discuss things when you need to. I hope you have a great day and you are feeling well. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Inspirational Wednesday~

~Two Days Done, Two To Go~

Happy Wednesday y’all! We have made it halfway through the week, which makes us that much closer to the weekend! How has your week been so far? My week has been slightly less busy than last week, but only slightly! It is nice staying busy, but it is helpful when the people you are working with are kind and respectful. Most of the people I work with are great, so I can’t complain. I do like being busy because it makes the time go by much faster!! This will sound insane, but my work day yesterday was far better because my little friend, the groundhog was around a lot and made me smile!

We have made it through half the week making the weekend that much closer, but we do have two days we must get through and we need some inspiration! My hope is you will find the quote I am sharing with y’all today as inspiring as I did and I look to read your comments! I think it is always important to have goals to work towards because our goals can make us stronger. It doesn’t matter if we do not achieve all our goals quickly or even if we miss a goal, it is just crucial to keep trying!

Unfortunately, new cases of COVID in the city I live in are on a continuous increase. I am not sure what people are not understanding about the need to wear masks and or social distance. This virus is not a joke or a hoax, it is very real and killing people daily. It does not need to be this way and other countries have done the logical thing by locking the country down. The economy does not matter near as much as human lives, so I will say I do wish the United States would lock down until there is a better handle on the virus. I know many people will disagree with me and that is fine because we are all entitled to our own opinion, this is just mine.

Thank you for visiting my site today! I do not mean to sound like a nag with COVID, masks, and social distancing, but I do wish more people would take this virus as the deadly virus it is. Granted, I do not leave my house unless it is necessary. I hope you have a great and safe day today, and I am looking forward to reading your amazing comments. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOT of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Pick Me Up Thursday~

~Happy Friday Eve Y’all~

I have good news for y’all! We have almost made it through the painfully LONG week! I definitely think it is with all that has gone on this past week from the drastic increases in COVID-19 cases to the darn election, and then throw in the fact I worked Tuesday and Wednesday straight through lunch making my day be 9 LONG hours! Don’t get me wrong I did eat lunch, but it was while I was working which isn’t much of a lunch! I am still thankful that I get to work from home because I am able to work in comfortable clothes!

Now that the election is finally over, we need to remember to find the positive in any and all situations. It is heartbreaking how much politics has added conflicts and hostile behaviors between ourselves and our family and friends. It is perfectly acceptable to believe what we all believe, but it is necessary to respect others beliefs. In my own opinion, I think we should all do the best we can to respect others and inspire others the best we possibly can! This is why I chose the quote I did today for our “Pick Me Up Thursday”. It is my hope this quote will touch your heart as much as it did mine!

I am looking forward to reading your thoughts on the quote I have shared, but also want to know how your week has been. Now that the weekend is just about here, do you have any plans for the next two days? My plans do not involve anything outside of my home and not just because of COVID, but also because I have SO much that needs to be done at home. Of course, online grocery shopping, cleaning, and organizing are at the top of my list! And of course, still around the house, there are a few things I have to read!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today! I hope your week has been great and you are staying safe! Also, whatever your plans are for the weekend, please stay safe! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tranquil Tuesday

~My 20 Year Battle With Multiple Sclerosis~

Many of you already know that I have battled my fight with Multiple Sclerosis for going on 20 years now. Most days I can’t even believe it has been that long and yet I still remember the day I heard the doctor say the words to me “Alyssa, you have Multiple Sclerosis.” I was a 19- year- old girl, alone in the exam room, and was in complete shock. At the time of my diagnosis, I was naïve, scared, and did not know what my life was going to be like. I only knew one person that had MS and she was in a wheelchair. Being so young and clueless I thought I was going to be diagnosed, and then bound to a wheelchair, and then death. I know how ridiculous that sounds now because I have a better understanding of this disease.

Of course, the past 20 years have come with many ups and downs, but not only am I still here to talk about it and hopefully help others living with chronic illnesses. Yes, I do live with various issues, but I have learned to live a fairly normal and full life with all of it. I think it is important to understand that no matter what our struggles are in life, we can learn to make the most of it. Life is short and no one ever said it was going to be easy. I think the more struggles we overcome, the stronger we are.

It has been a while since I have written about Multiple Sclerosis and considering I had an appointment a little more than a week ago with my new neurologist; it might be a good time to write a little about what I deal with day in and day out with Multiple Sclerosis. The real reason I do not write much about it anymore is I do not think it is good to dwell on things we have no control over, but it is important to help others that do not have MS understand what it is all about and others that live with this unpredictable disease to know they are not alone. I say this because I remember when I was first diagnosed, I felt so incredibly and painfully alone.

One of the most important things when living with any chronic illness is finding a specialist that you trust and can work well with. Over my years with Multiple Sclerosis, I have had my fair share of specialists that I respected and trusted, but then there were those I would do anything just to avoid them. The only reason those I trusted, respected, and admired are not my specialist anymore is that they retired. I have only met my new specialist was virtually, but she said one thing that won me over, she knew, admired, respected, and loved my first neurologist. As simple as this may sound, I have been missing my first neurologist since the day he retired. It did take me time to be accepting of him because he was the one that confirmed I had Multiple Sclerosis. The only reason I left the practice he was at is because the neurologist that was taking his place insulted him when speaking with me and this was a HUGE no, no!

During my two decades of living with Multiple Sclerosis, (WOW that sounds like a LONG time), I have faced and dealt with various issues. Of course, some of what I have struggled with have ranged anywhere between being a minor inconvenience to almost unbearable, and everything in between. Symptoms involved with Multiple Sclerosis and any other chronic illness can be different for each individual because we are all unique.

I am sure that most of you know about Multiple Sclerosis because you or someone you know has it, but I am going to take this time to provide you a brief overview, and then I will describe the issues I battle with every day of my life. I will begin by explaining what Multiple Sclerosis is.

What is Multiple Sclerosis?

Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that may become disabling of both the brain and spinal cord. With MS, the immune system attacks the myelin, which is the protective sheath covering nerve fibers and creates communication issues between the brain and the rest of the body.

What are the types of Multiple Sclerosis?

Unfortunately, in 2020 there is still not a way to foresee with absolute certainty how a person’s disease will advance and or how fast this will happen. The four main types of MS have been established by the: International Advisory Committee on Clinical Trials of MS and were defined as the following explanations.

Clinically Isolated Syndrome (CIS):

This is the first occurrence of neurological symptoms that are caused by inflammation and demyelination in the central nervous system. Although the occurrence must last for at least 24-hours to be considered a characteristic of MS, it still doesn’t meet the specifications for an MS diagnosis because those that experience CIS may or may not have MS.

It is when CIS comes along with lesion on a brain MRI, which is typically seen in MS, that the probability of the person having a 2nd MRI is high, and being diagnosed with RRMS is very common.

Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS):

This is the most common form of MS with 85% of people being diagnosed originally with it. RRMS is distinguished by undeniably defined attacks of new or increasing neurological symptoms, which are known as relapse or exacerbation and are typically followed with partial or complete times of partial or complete remission. While in remission, all symptoms may disappear or the symptoms may continue and be permanent, but during this time there isn’t any progression seen. RRMS can be further described as either active, which is with relapse and or confirmation of new MRI activity in a specific time frame, or NOT active, as well as worsening or not worsening.

Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (SPMS):

Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis is a type when one was initially diagnosed with RRMS and progressed into SPMS. The progression from RRMS to SPMS is due to the increasing worsening of neurological function over time. SPMS can also e distinguished as either active, not active, as well as progression indicating disability accrual over time.

Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (PPMS):

Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis is classified by increased deteriorating neurological function from the onset of this disease and without early relapse or remissions. Just like the first few types of MS, PPMS can also be distinguished as active, not active, progression, and without progression. Only about 15% of people with MS are diagnosed with PPMS.

The symptoms for each person living with Multiple Sclerosis might be very different, slightly different, similar, but they will never be exactly the same because we are all very different. I really did not mean for this post to get so long, so I will briefly share with you the symptoms I deal with both daily and or randomly.

The way I discovered that I had MS all those years ago, is because I lost vision in my left eye and went to the eye doctor. Never in a million years did I expect that this vision loss was the start of my journey with Multiple Sclerosis. After going through the MRI to confirm the doctor’s suspicions, I was put on an insane amount of steroids, which even though I completely and utterly detest steroids; they did help restore my vision. One would think I would have been relieved to learn I wasn’t going blind, but I often think the diagnosis was worse than the diagnosis.

Through the years, I have experienced a wide range of symptoms that have varied from mild and tolerable to awful and intolerable. A few things that have been a constant are pain, numbness and tingling, and spasticity. Sometimes I think that if I had one day without any pain, numbness and tingling life wouldn’t seem as normal. My legs always have that numbness and tingling sensation from my knees to the tips of my toes. It can make walking be challenging depending on how bad it is, but normally I am fine with walking. My back hurts every minute of every day from the middle to lower back, but I try not to let that get me down too much. There are times when the mixture of pain, numbness, and tingling can contribute to muscle weakness. I also experience a lot of fatigue and then have a hard time falling asleep. It is an annoying cycle!

Another symptom I have dealt with over the past two decades that is not very often is vertigo. There was a time several years ago when I was having vertigo very bad, but had a doctor’s appointment with my neurologist and drove myself to the appointment. I did well driving when a little dizzy because I managed to keep between the lines. It is insane that I hardly could walk a straight line, but drove perfectly fine! I have also dealt with the MS hug, which is not a huge anyone ever wants. The MS hug feels like there is a huge snake around you and just keeps squeezing. Another issue I deal with at least three times a week is headaches/migraines. Headaches/migraines are a form of pain that I can’t deal with.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading about my LONG journey of living with Multiple Sclerosis. It has been a long journey and one I never wanted, but one I wanted to give up on 20 years ago. I am thankful that I did not give up and followed advice from my dear Poppy. When I was diagnosed, my Poppy told me that I was strong enough to handle this disease and to always remember that no matter what I am going through, someone else is going through something a lot worse. I have held onto his words all these years and hope that I can inspire y’all to never give up because you are far stronger than you ever knew.

I know this post got a little long and longer than I anticipated, but there is so much involved when living with Multiple Sclerosis. All the challenges you experience throughout your life are making you stronger and therefore you can inspire someone else to never give up! I am looking forward to reading your comments and I promise to respond as quickly as I can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa