Life is complicated

Posted on June 24, 2021 by Positively Alyssa

There have been many challenges we have faced during the past few years. All of this takes a lot of courage, perseverance, dedication, determination, and a great amount of internal strength. I completely understand how this can feel overwhelming and we might want to throw our hands up and give up on what we need and want. Sometimes it might feel like the battle within is too demanding, but if we do everything we possibly can and continue fighting we will eventually win the war.

For all of us that are living with a chronic and incurable illness, the obstacles may seem like they are endless and maybe they are. However, if we do not keep pushing through with all we can, we will never know what we are capable of. I have always believed that behind every door we close, something better is waiting around the next corner. We will not be able to know our full potential if we do not at least try.

All the small or large issues we deal with in life provide us with an opportunity and a learning experience. It might never seem like it at the time, but surviving these issues makes us the strong people we are today. It is crucial to view the struggles we face in life as a building block to the incredibly strong people we were meant to be instead of as an inconvenience.

If you take a few minutes to think about your life, would you be who you are today if it were not for what you have been through? Honestly, I do not know who I would be if I did not have the experiences I did have. Of course, not all our experiences have been pleasant and sometimes we do not want to remember them because they may have been awful. The hardest things we have gone through gave us the most valuable lessons.

You do not have to answer this question but at least think about these questions. What were a few of the most hellacious, painful, and complicated things you have gone through in life, and what did you learn from those experiences? I am not going to go into detail about one of my experiences that was like this, but I will tell you this ordeal taught me to be strong and to never allow anyone to mistreat me. For the most part, we can decide who we allow in our life.

It is extremely important to understand that trust is something that is earned and not given immediately. It is not easy, but we should try to at least give others the benefit of the doubt, but without putting too much trust into that person. The hard part about this is, we are all human and sometimes people will do something to betray our trust. Once trust is lost, it is not easy to get back because it takes a lot of work and healing from whatever hurt the betrayal caused. There is not a timeline to when we “should” heal from times when another’s deception because we are all different and heal in various ways.

It is a little ironic that I started a post about headaches and have been dealing with one ever since. I am hoping for the headache I have had for several days will get better soon, so I can finish the post to share with y’all. I think the information that I have so far will be beneficial to anyone that experiences headaches more than just occasionally. Considering I have been dealing with headaches most of my life, I would have thought I would be used to them by now, but unfortunately, I am not. Even though I deal with pain 24/7 the pain does not stop me from doing what I want in life, but a headache will stop me completely. I guess no one has or could get used to them though.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am sorry that I have been a little absent lately, but hopefully that will change soon, and this headache will go away. I am looking forward to reading your comments, which I will respond to as quickly as I possibly can. Even though I know the COVID cases as decreased greatly, I hope you are all continuing to stay as safe as you can. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Flooded with Memories

Posted on June 12, 2021 by Positively Alyssa

~June 12, 1999~

Sometimes it seems like time flies by us, while other times it feels as though it is standing still. I can only speak for myself when I say this, but I did not enjoy my high school years and some reasons I will not go into. June 12^th makes 22 years since I graduated high school and even though I did not go directly to college, I never looked back. I graduated high school at 17 years old because of where my birthday falls in the school year. The choices that I made when I finished high school probably were not the best, but I was young and could not wait to get as far away from the small town I grew up in as possible.

The funny thing is, I was always a dreamer and had thoughts of what I wanted my life to be like after those miserable four years in high school. Of course, there were many dreams I had that might not have come to fruition, but I have always thought that everything in life happens for a reason even if we do not know what those reasons are right away.

One thing I never dreamed of after I got out of high school was to be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis only two years later. To be honest, I did not know much about this disease all those years ago and only knew one other person that had it, which is my father’s wife. It took me many years to realize that having MS was nothing to be ashamed of and I did not have to hide it from anyone. I do think that this disease has made me a stronger person and of course, I promised my late grandfather that I would never allow it to control me. I also promised that I would never let MS win the fight because I would win the war my body was having within itself.

A dream I had 22 years ago was to be a Broadcast Journalist, which as you know did not happen for me and I do not have any regrets. The reason I do not have regrets about not being in Broadcast Journalism I know I would be able to deal with lies from politicians and would probably get myself in trouble calling them out on their deceitful ways. It does not matter if a politician is a Republican or a Democrat because the truth seems to be a little challenging for all of them to provide. Plus, I also strongly believe that people deserve honesty, especially with issues that impact our lives.

Once I had given up on my Journalism dreams, I thought being a Pediatric Nurse would be an amazing career. Unfortunately, not too long after I decided nursing would be a great option, I had an awful relapse and was worried that it would be a little too challenging to be a nurse if I had mobility struggles. I was a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) for a few years on a Pediatric unit and I learned fast that mobility issues would be far less challenging for me than the emotional impact this had on me. There were a few patients I will always remember, but one little girl that even to this day sends chills down my spine. She was a sweet six-old little girl that had been brutally raped by her uncle. Due to the legal issues, her mother was not allowed to be with her in the room, which was for good reason. Part of the job for the nurses and CNAs was to help the little girl with her bath, but she would not allow anyone but me to help her. I would also sit with her and read her the book of her choice. There were a few other children that weighed heavily on my mind and would put me in tears at the end of the day. This emotional struggle caused me to have a lot of stress, which created issues with the MS.

I am an overly emotional and strong-willed person. I am the type that will fight hard for what I believe in and defend anyone unable to defend themselves. I have never and never will allow anyone to change my mind on something I am passionate about, which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the issue. I think it is safe to say I would have made one hell of an attorney if I had wanted to be in school that long and have that amount of student loan debt.

Again, as I have already said I do believe strongly that everything in life happens for a reason. We may never know what the reasons are for the things that happen in our life but should try believing there are reasons for everything. The best and most we can all do is be happy in life and be thankful for what life has provided us, no matter what.

It does not matter what I have gone through in life because I know I am who I am from all of it. I have a quiet and happy life with my husband and three cats. Y’all may remember that in early February we lost our cat we had for almost 16 years, which was a painful loss for both me and my husband. There are still times today that I think of Chloe and what could have been done differently. I might be an emotional person, but logically I know nothing could have changed that day she took her last breath on my lap. The only good thing about this was she did not have to suffer, and she was able to pass away peacefully in her home.

First, I want to thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I wrote today. For some reason, it had taken me several days to think of what I wanted to write about, which might be because I had a lot of ideas on my mind. Plus, it was a long week for me, and I was feeling very fatigued. Second, I hope you are having a great and safe weekend. Our weekends should be spent doing what makes us happy and helps us to relax to recuperate from the week we just had. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Random Emotions Building

Posted on February 21, 2021 by Positively Alyssa

~My Random Emotions Coming Together~

Two weeks ago, today our lives were tragically changed when we lost our sweet little girl Chloe. It has not been easy adjusting to life without Chloe because she was a huge part of our family. We had that sweet baby girl for more than 15 years and now the house feels a little empty without her. It does provide some solace knowing that we gave her a wonderful and loving home, but the void in our hearts is deep. Although Chloe is not with us physically, this sweet cat will live on forever in our hearts. Not only are my husband and I feel the loss, but our younger cat misses Chloe as well. Thankfully, Sundance, our younger cat still has a personality that makes us smile.

A few things happened today, that made a mark. My grandmother, on my mother’s side of the family, passed away. Unfortunately, she and I did not have your typical grandmother/granddaughter relationship. The two of us were strong-willed and never backed down, even with each other. I am not sure if I would say we had a lot in common because I do believe we were vastly different, but she was still my grandmother. I will say I remember her as a child and do have a few good memories. I do wish there had been a way we could have made a mend before her passing, but we did not have any ill words with each other. Honestly, it might have been because we did not speak much. I hope her last days were peaceful and she was comfortable when she took her last breath.

Another interesting thing that happened today is, my father and I had a nice talk. I called him to tell him about my grandmother’s passing. They had not spoken in more than 30 years, but I guess I had to talk openly about it. One thing that my father said to me today meant more than I could ever explain was how proud my grandfather had always been of me. He told me that I could make my grandfather smile even if he was having a bad day and that means the world to me. I have told y’all before how much my grandfather meant to me and how much I admired him. Knowing that my grandfather was proud of me will stay with me and help me through challenging times.

During my conversation with my father, I mentioned to him that I was considering entering a writing contest. Of course, I always question my writing abilities, but he told me that he thought I should because he always enjoyed reading what I write about. He assured me that I shared something in common with my grandfather and that was how the way our writing showed deep emotions and our strong personality. It makes me feel good knowing that I have some of my grandfather’s devotion and strength because he was an amazing man that I will always hold close to my heart. Something that has always amazed me is, how one small thing another person says can have an enormous impact on another person life and typically in a good way!

I am taking into consideration everything my father told me when I talked about the writing contest, but now I need to decide what I will write about. I know it is important to take chances, but I also need to learn too not be so hard on myself. Over the past three years, I have had the chance to get to know all of you and it has been a great opportunity. With that said, have any of you entered any writing contests and if so, how did you decide what you would write about? I value your opinions and advice, so I look forward to reading your thoughts!

I am sure y’all have noticed that I have been a little absent from blogging. This week has been strange. Not only have I been dealing with the loss of Chloe, but I have felt very sluggish and had a lack of energy. There have been many times I wanted to sit down and write about something but could not get through it. I guess it might have something to do with the weather changes because it has not only been cold, but we have had an insane amount of rain. The colder weather always have a negative effect on how I feel, but then so does the rain. I guess the combination has been a double threat!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have enjoyed reading what I wrote about today. I also hope you had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tragic loss of Chloe

Posted on February 12, 2021 by Positively Alyssa

RIP Chloe Jean Bowman 07/07/2005-02/07/2021

Loss creates a profound sense of grief, sadness, heartache, emptiness, and so much more that it may feel unbearable at times. This intense combination of emotions can make everyday tasks quite challenging. There is no way to prepare yourself for loss, because no matter how much time you have with someone it is never enough. This statement holds painfully true with our pets. The connection we feel with our pet or pets is much like one feels towards their child. This fur baby was our child, our life, and our family.

Last week I told y’all about our sweet and precious cat, Chloe, who had two doctor’s appointments related to increased lethargy and rapid weight loss. We were told three years ago she was in the early-stage of kidney failure. Given she was on a doctor recommended kidney diet since that time, we did not understand the reason for her recent decline. After a physical exam, CT Scan, and bloodwork, we were told last Friday, February 5th, that she probably would not survive the weekend. Of course, we brought her home right away, made her as comfortable as we possibly could, and stayed with her every minute. Unfortunately, on Sunday, February 7^th at 12:25, our beloved Chloe took her last breath.

We had Chloe since she was just a baby. Since the day we brought her home, she filled out hearts with nothing but love and joy. Chloe was always a petite cat, but she had a huge heart and personality. It is so easy to remember many funny memories of her silly adventures. If I were to share all those memories with you, I would be writing for days if not weeks, but I am going to share a few memories with you.

I can remember like it was yesterday the first day Chloe came into our life. She was the best and sweetest birthday present I ever received. My husband and I picked her out at the local PetSmart, where she stole our hearts. From the second she laid her head on my husband’s shoulder, she had him wrapped around her little paw. We had loaded her up in the truck, in the box, PetSmart provided and drove her to her new home. The minute she jumped out of the box and made the cutest little meow and she made that little apartment her new home! She would run around that small apartment like a bat out of hell and enjoyed every minute of it. We used to play with the red-light toy with her and she would try chasing it up the wall. It was hilarious to watch. That little girl would jump as high as the peephole in our front door to try catching the red dot, but never quite caught it.

My husband used to ball up a piece of paper and throw it for Chloe. She would then fetch the piece of paper and bring it back to him to throw for her again. I had never in my life seen a cat play fetch so well, but the two of them loved the game. Chloe played fetch better than any dog I have ever seen in my life. My husband trained her to do this and it was something great to witness.

I remember we had a fake tree in our apartment, which Chloe would climb when she was a baby; she did this several times as she got older. Considering she was an Indoor-only cat, she never got to experience climbing a real tree. It was a good thing she did not go outside and climb trees because once she was in that fake tree, she waited for one of us to get her down. I can picture Chloe outside climbing a real tree and crying for help and needing the fire department to come with a ladder to get her down.

There was a time we had gone to Old Navy shopping, so we had those huge bags when we got home. Somehow, I still do not know how Chloe got her little body attached to one and went flying through the apartment with the bag flying behind her. This created her fear of plastic bags for the rest of her life. Even though she was terrified of plastic bags, it was hysterical.

Considering I do live with Multiple Sclerosis, this does come with a massive amount of pain. Chloe knew where I hurt and would lay on that part of my body. If I had one of my headaches, Chloe would lay on my head until it eased up. When my legs were in out-of-control pain and tingling, Chloe would make it a point to lay on my legs to help these issues. I still find it amazing how on point Chloe’s instincts were and her strong desire to help me feel better, she truly was an amazing cat.

The numerous memories we have about Chloe are not easing our hurt and how much we miss her. I cannot get the image of her taking her last breath on my lap out of my mind. My thoughts go into a black hole with thinking could I have done something to help her more. Was it my fault she died because I told her it was okay to go and she did not have to keep fighting? If we had taken her to the doctor sooner, would she still be with us? Was her death, something we did or did not do?

Last picture of Chloe on my lap wrapped in a blanket

Not everyone can understand just how devastating the loss of a pet is because they have never had the deep and eternal connection with a pet. Unfortunately, those that have not experienced this kind of love may diss the feelings of someone that has. The truth is the loss of a pet for some people can be just as upsetting and traumatic as the loss of a human family member. When we lose a family member we can take time off from work because there is a leave of absence in place, but there is not the same for a pet. This does not make sense to me because our pets are our family. Getting over the loss is not easy, but so many cannot understand this. This picture is the last picture taken of Chloe.

Just as much as our pets rely on us to take care of them, we rely on our pets as well. Pets love us unconditionally and without stipulations. Our pets know all our deepest and darkest secrets because we trust them and confide in them. When we lose this confidant, it can feel like losing a part of our heart and soul, which can make us feel lonely and almost empty inside.

Considering the loss of Chloe has been so painful, I looked up how to get through this and keep some of my sanity. From what I have read, there are 7 stages of grief when we lose a pet. The stages are shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, reflection, loneliness and adjusting to living without that pet, and acceptance and hope.

I can say that the first stage was on Sunday. Seeing that little girl take her last breath did cause me to be in complete and total shock. I could not believe she was gone and did not know how to go on without her. There was no denying what had happened because I watched it take place. Our sweet, loving, and amazing little girl stopped breathing and there was nothing I could do to help her anymore. I think I am hoovering within pain, guilt, anger, depression, and loneliness right now. I am blaming myself for her death and cannot help thinking there must have been something I could have done.

One part that has been so difficult is, there are no answers. The doctor told us her kidney function was stable and not failing. However, neither of the doctors Chloe saw could say why her health deteriorated so fast. The best guesses the doctors can say is that Chloe had cancer and it took her life before diagnosed. The week before she passed away, she was chasing our other cat, Sundance around the house. The two of them had so much love for one another and he does not understand where she went. Sundance is grieving just the same as my husband and I are.

Writing has always helped me heal when something dealing with difficult emotions, but I have not been able to because it has been too difficult. I do not think I have cried and had this hard of a time coping since my Poppy passed. There are times when I think I am doing better, but the smallest of things trigger my heartache, and I am in tears again. If I can stay busy at work it takes my mind away from what we have lost, but the minute I have time to think all I can think about is Chloe. How do you move on from a loss this tragic? How do you stay positive and happy when you heart just cannot heal? How do you tell everyone that asks that you are okay when you are anything but okay?

We had another cat before Sundance, Lexi who died from cancer. I loved that sweet little girl as well, but do not remember it being this hard. Lexi was cremated and we had Chloe cremated as well, but when the emergency vet called to tell us her remains were ready to be picked up, I cannot go pick her up. The only think I want right now is for Chloe to be back with us and alive, but I know this cannot happen.

Chloe was not just a cat or another pet, she was more like our daughter and this loss has been very difficult for us to deal with. I have been away from blogging to try healing from this, but felt it was time to tell y’all about Chloe. We will never stop missing or loving Chloe, but someday we will heal from this. Sundance has never been an only cat and I know he is lonely, and there will come a day we get him a friend, but right now is too soon.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this long and emotional post. I did start on this a few days ago, but could not keep it together. I hope you had a good week and you are continuing to stay safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes.

Always, Alyssa

What makes you unique?

Posted on June 28, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

10 things that make us unique!

On multiple different occasions I have said the area I live in is overcrowded and everywhere I go has too much congestion. If I view things in a much broader picture, there are close to 69,000 people in the city I live in, but close to 8 million in the entire world. Of course, I think more than 50 people is a large crowd, so there other number are just ludacris.

Even though I prefer to not be around massive groups, especially right now with COVID-19 in the forefront of my mind, I do find the uniqueness of each interesting. Could you imagine what life would be like if we were all the same? I think things would be very boring and monotonous.

Each person is comprised of personality, experiences endured in life, knowledge we have gained, and emotions felt. Every individual has their viewpoints of the world and outlooks, mainly powered by their life experiences. All of our qualities that make each of us unique and fascinating can be sharpened and enhanced on, allowing for growth as we continue our lives adventures.

The following ten characteristic are what make us our own unique and captivating self. We should always hold our heads held high and be proud of our uniqueness and the amazing people we have become today.

1. Our Personality-

Each of our personalities is something that begins to be shape starting from the time we are born and has continued to the present day. All of our positive and negative experiences, each achievement and defeat, every occurrence of strength and weakness, all the knowledge and wisdom we have gained are what is guiding how we can progress through our life.

The level of knowledge, experiences, and comprehension one individual has are what makes them who they are and no other will be the same as that person. Just as no one will respond the same to life experiences, no one will make the same choices in life as another would.

2. Our Attitudes-

Our attitude determines how we view life and those we are surrounded by. Both positive and negative attitudes can be very contagious, which means the way we are feeling has the potential to influence how other feel. The truth is those with a positive attitude will tend to steer away from others that have a negative attitude. Our attitude is something that is created from our emotional outlooks. Unless we make proactive changes for something better and more favorable for a happier present and future, our attitude will not change for the better.

3. Our Experiences-

There is no doubt that our past and future experiences play a vital role with shaping the unique individuals we are. All of our experiences in life help dictate the way we interact with others. Many times people that have had negative experiences might become uneasy and even defensive when in situations that are similar to times before when they had been hurt. Of course, some negative experiences offer the wisdom needed to make better decisions in the future which could lead to a successful search for a brighter and positive future.

4. Our Habits-

Habits are our routine behaviors that are repeated regularly and often occur subconsciously. Our habits will notify and regulate the aspects each unique person will develop. Bad habits could be biting you nails, drinking too much alcohol, overeating, or smoking. Good habits may include eating a healthy diet, maintaining an exercise regimen, practicing gratitude, and managing money sensibly. When we start forming habits such as meditation, exercising, or trying new things they can help to improve our mental health and well-being.

5. Our Creativity-

There are many different forms of creativity, which makes it very interesting. Creativity can extend to a wide range of arts that can lead the creative part of the brain anywhere from drawing and painting to cooking to dancing and singing to playing an instrument. Every person has their own specific and unique talents and creative gifts that have been inspired by their vision of beauty.

6. Our Perspective-

There is no other person that has lived in our shoes every minute of every day at any time. No other person has had the same experiences we have during life and never will. No one else has the same knowledge as another person. Each individuals perspectives are simply uniquely only their own. It is always crucial to stay open to others thoughts, opinions, and suggestions. This doesn’t mean we must accept these as right or wrong, but continue to evolve on our unique perception of the world.

7. Our Tastes-

We can always discover common ground with others on quality or beauty, but our tastes are unique with our personality. Each person’s taste can impact the choices they make throughout their life. These choices may be in the foods they eat or the people they form relationships with. An excellent way for a person to broaden their horizons, learn new things, and continue evolving is to consider different tastes, in all forms around the world. By keeping an open mind and having the willingness to include the tastes of others, it can initiate some extraordinary new things in life.

8. Our Goals-

Each individual’s goals will typically regulate how their time, energy, and efforts are spent. Our short, medium, and long-term goals supply us with both direction and motivation to keep us on the right path. No matter what an individual’s goals they are working towards are, anyone can get more out of their life and grown further as a person!

9. Our Hobbies-

A common icebreaker when we meet someone for the first time is, “What do you like doing?” Granted, our hobbies do not define who we are as a person, but the things we enjoy doing and spend the most time on can enlighten others to the kind of person we are. This all says something about us as unique human beings, the values we hold, and how we find happiness and meaning in life.

10. Our Passions-

Passions are what stir the deepest emotions in an individual to act on something bigger than themselves, despite their mental and emotional state of mind. Being aware of our passions can assist us in finding an undeviating, clear path that is directed by our values and unique perceptions of the world. Each individual has something unique and valuable that they offer the world.

During or lifetime we are going to encounter others from all walks of life. Some of the people we meet will be the polar opposite of who we are and others we will be able to find similarities and common ground with. However, no matter what we discover our similarities to be, there will never be another as unique as all of us are!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you found this information interesting and you enjoyed reading this. I hope you are having a great weekend and you are feeling well and of course, staying safe! I look forward to reading any thoughts you have on this post and promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Why create a vision board?

Posted on March 28, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

I feel confident saying you have all heard about vision boards before, but what do they mean to you? Have you made a vision board before and if so what did you include on yours? If you have had a vision board in the past or you currently have one, did you find it to be beneficial, why or why not?

Honestly, I have heard about vision boards before, but I was not 100% clear on the purpose or what should be included in it. Of course, I am always intrigued about ways to add as many positive outlooks and or tools to life as I possibly can. With all that the world as a whole is going through at the moment, I think now is a time we all need as much positivity as we can get.

There are numerous reasons for having a vision board. As I list the questions I was curious about, though please note they are not in any particular order. What is the purpose? What should be included on a vision board? What is needed to create one? Do they really help? Are there any benefits and if so what are they?

There are several reasons to have a vision board and yet there aren’t any rules. Your vision board is a corporeal portrayal of a goal or goals you are focused on accomplishing. It is meant to be your dedicated exhibit of what you want in life. Your vision board can bring your ambitions, desires, dreams, objective, and intentions into your existence and reality.

The sky is the limit to what you can include on your vision board. Your vision board can be your goals for career, relationship, home, travel, personal growth, education, spirituality, social life, education and anything else revolving around your goals. Your vision board can include things you want to view every day and motivates you. Any quotes, pictures, sayings, and places you desire going to, people that inspire you, reminders of events, and anything that encourages you.

You should give yourself time to create your vision board, it should be fun utilizing your creativity and NEVER stressful. I have discovered a few ideas to help start a vision board that might be helpful which include:

Working on ways to heal from hardships
Explore your passions and talents
Learn more about who you are
Envision what you want from life
Spend time with those you admire
And literally anything else that comes to mind, just don’t limit yourself

To create your vision board you only need a few simple items including:

Posterboard, corkboard, or canvas
Several old magazines
Pictures printed from an online source
Scissors, tape, pins and or glue stick
Markers, paint and or sticker
Most important anything you know you will want to see daily. This is where those inspirational quotes, sayings, and people will come into play

The benefits you may get from a vision board are endless and could be different for each person. I will share a few and then you can decide how it benefits you.

Brings clarity to your dreams
Initiates your ambitions
Allows for your creativity to shine through
Enables you to be more motivated
Makes you more productive
Grants you with better focus
Promotes your opportunities for success
Releases your inner potential
Encourages you to be positive and happy
Gives you additional motivation
Amplifies your self-confidence
Poses as a mental rehearsal
Relaxes you
Enhances your self-image
Expands your desires

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you found this information helpful and something fun to try, if you haven’t already done so. I do look forward to reading your thoughts on this and if you have any other reasons why a vision board can be beneficial to our lives.

Of course, I already know there is not much we can do outside our homes, but I do hope you are enjoying your weekend so far. I only hope your weekend is relaxing and enjoyable. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Eliminate bad habits and gain good habits

Posted on March 27, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

We all have good and bad habits that are perpetual and emerge from our unconscious minds. It is almost as though we have some kind of control over them. However, logically do we have any control over our habits?

How would you explain what is meant regarding bad habits? Bad habits are a negative behavior in regards to our behavioral patterns. Most commonly procrastinating, spending too much money, nail-biting, spending excessive amounts of time watching TV or on the computer are bad habits.

Have you ever wondered what caused our bad habits? According to the author, James Clear, who wrote “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results. Atomic Habits”, stress and boredom could be the key contributors to our bad habits. It is also possible that our boredom and stress are only on the surface and the causes of our bad habits are from much deeper issues. What we may have experienced might be challenging and painful to think about, but if we are truly committed to making changes; we need to face the issues head-on. To overcome our bad habits, we will need to acknowledge them first.

No matter what good or bad habits we currently have, there is a reason they are in our lives. We might never know why these habits are in our lives, but they do have a purpose and even a benefit. Most of the time, our bad habits are how we handle stress.

It isn’t easy to comprehend how our bad habits can be beneficial in our lives. However, we need to try understanding how instead of straightforwardly eliminating them, we should attempt replacing them with good habits that provide us with comparable benefits.

Do you know any good ways to break bad habits? Personally, I have several habits that aren’t just bad, they are awful habits. Through some research, I have discovered some ways to break the bad habit cycle we deal with.

Before I dive too deep into ways to break the bad habits, I am going to explain how our habits are driven by a 3-part loop sequence, that was initiated from Mayo Oshin,

Trigger is the stimulus that starts the habit
Routine is doing the habit and behavior itself
Reward of the benefit is associated with the behavior

Now we can finally dive deep into Mayo Oshin’s coherent strategies that will help us utilize psychology when recognizing our triggers for our bad habits, quit procrastinating and begin easily getting things done.

Oshin’s three strategies to break bad habits include:

Use the words “I don’t” as opposed to “I can’t”, which can assist with making better choices. In two different research studies, participants that use the words “I don’t” were able to meet their goals and had positive impacts on their well-being more than those that used “I can’t”.
Practice becoming aware of the triggers. The more aware we are of our triggers that lead us to lean on our bad habits, the higher the chances we have on interfering with the existence of the loop leading us towards bad habits.

An addiction expert, Judson Brewer, performed a study with smokers trying to quit smoking. Brewer believes that practicing mindfulness frequently can help end the bad habits. In his study, Brewer found 36% of individuals that practiced mindfulness were successful with quitting, as opposed to the 15% that did not use mindfulness and were not successful with quitting smoking.

An intriguing practice exercise you can try is the following steps! The next time you are tempted with your bad habit, take a step back, answer the following questions and log your answer if you want something to reflect on

Where were you when the cravings occurred?
What time of day does this happen?
What was your emotional state of mind?
Who were you with?
What happened before your cravings?

You can keep your answers in a journal, so you can refer back to them at a later time and maybe notice a trend. This is a way to practice mindfulness and also assist you in taking more control of your actions. By tracking the issues you will be that much more aware of your behavior and offer ideas to stop!

Use an “if-then” plan to replace the bad habits with good habits. It isn’t enough to only have a goal to break bad habits. To perpetually continue with a good habit, we need an intentional plan.

To create an “if-then” plan we need to do the following steps.

Recognize a situation that commonly triggers our bad habits
Identify a distinct reaction to the trigger. Typically, this would be a good habit to replace and prevent falling right into the temptation
Combine steps 1 &2 into an “if-then” format. Utilizing an “if-then” plan creates an easier reaction for our cravings and replaces them with a good habit because of the made ready automatic response. Over time, we will be able to see how effective it can be to assist in breaking away from bad habits.

I hope you found this information beneficial in your life. There is no pressure at all, but what habits of yours do you think are bad habits? I will share mine with y’all. One is definitely I always think I am fat and that I need to lose weight, but my husband always tells me I am crazy and don’t need to lose weight. I will say telling someone that thinks they are fat crazy might not be the best way to approach the topic, but men often don’t think before they speak. Another habit of mine that could be viewed as bad is that I apologize for everything, even when I didn’t really do anything wrong. I don’t know why, I just immediately say “I’m sorry.” One more habit, that can be viewed as good and bad is, I am way too overly emotional about everything!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have a great day and you are ending the week feeling the best you possibly can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Finding Inner Peace

Posted on March 19, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

Do y’all know what does inner peace means? Inner peace is a state in which you are mentally and spiritually at peace, despite the potential of any stressors that might arise. When you truly have inner peace, you have fully accepted yourself and therefore, do not waste your precious time, energy, and attention on unimportant thoughts. Inner peace is the direct opposite of anxiety and worries.

There are things we can do to find our inner peace.

Set your limits-

By knowing when to stop, we can minimize being preoccupied with certain things that do not matter in the bigger picture of life. What this means is we can set a certain amount of time to spend on social media because that is something we do not need to spend unnecessary time on. I am sure many people will disagree with me on this, but we can live without social media, we can survive!

Try to relax-

take breath Experiment with deep breathing exercises to help release your tension. Deep breathing is something that can be done anytime and anywhere. You can practice breathing in through your nose slowly, allowing your chest and belly to rise as your lungs fill with air, hold inhale for 4 seconds. Then slowly exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds.

If this doesn’t work for you, do a little research on other relaxation techniques until you find the one that works best for you.

Don’t make any issue bigger than it is-

When facing an issue you think is huge, take a break and ask yourself if this situation will still matter in a few days, weeks, months, or years. Asking and answering this question will help you to keep things in perspective.

Slow down–

Constantly being stressed and panicked can have many negative effects on your mind and overall health. Most often by simply slowing down, you will have a chance to lower the feelings of stress.

Unclutter your life-

If your workspace or home is cluttered, it may keep your mind preoccupied. Personally, when my house is a mess, my thoughts remain fixated on everything I have to do. I tend to make a to-do list with everything I need to-do in order of importance. The issue with this is, I only make the to-do list in my mind and then feel overwhelmed, which nothing gets done.

Be a minimalist-

This can remove the unnecessary distractions from your life, allowing for peace of mind, clarity, and focus on a welcomed new thought process.

Be prompt-

Even though being prompt might be a small and easy habit, it can be a huge help for our schedules. Maybe being 10-15 minutes early will only give you those extra minutes to relax and recharge, but you will be amazed to how much it helps our mental status. Every free minute we have in this unpredictable and stressful world is very beneficial to our body!

Learn to accept and let go

We all have heard that saying, the past should stay in the past. It seems that this notion has been lost, but we need to try to bring it back into our thoughts. Nothing will ever change, no matter how much we stress or constantly think about it. It will be in everyone’s best interest to focus our attention solely on the present, never the past or even the future.

Ask, don’t guess-

Most of what causes our stress is our assumptions. The truth is, no one can read minds, but too many still try which only causes too much unnecessary anxiety. Instead of assuming anything, we need to have much more open communication and ask questions!

Escape for a short time–

What this means is to allow yourself time to recharge and even some soul searching. This isn’t quitting anything; you are just enhancing your life!

Quit Procrastinating–

I know not all problems can be solved quickly, but we can’t procrastinate trying to solve our problems. Honestly, the longer we wait, the more tension and stress we will feel.

Disconnect from work-

Your work life should never belong in your home. Weekends and time not at work are your time to recharge and not think about deadlines. I was never good at this when I had a job and wish I had adopted this thought process a long time ago, but I will when I do have a job again.

One thing at a time-

There are times when multitasking can be a great quality. However, multitasking can also cause too much stress. The thought process of focusing on one thing at a time can be healthier for your health because it will take a lot of stress off your shoulders. Everything will still get done in time.

Focus on good memories-

We tend to focus too much on our bad memories, instead of all the good memories we have. Maybe we do this because those bad memories caused some trauma and we will rethink what we could have done, but that isn’t going to fix anything. If we try replacing our bad memories with good ones, we will hold onto the strength we felt during the good memories. This might take time, but it will be beneficial to our mental and physical health.

Meditate daily-

Meditating is the most common way to discover your inner peace. By meditating even for just 15 minutes a day, it will help you discover and hold onto your inner peace. A fellow blogger shares some pretty amazing meditation ideas, so I will encourage you to check out her site. Bella’s site is https://thoughtsnlifeblog.com/

Thank you for stopping by my site today. I do hope, if you haven’t already visited Bella’s site, you will do so soon. I promise you will not be disappointed because she is pretty great!! I am looking forward to reading your comments about this post because I know you will provide great insight! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The meaning of Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2019 by Positively Alyssa

Please forgive me because I do know how incredibly negative this is going to sound, but I feel like the real meaning of Christmas has been lost for a very long time. It seems that in 2019 Christmas has become nothing more than another reason to shop, making this holiday that is supposed to have a deeper meaning, all about consumerism.

To me, the meaning of Christmas is a time to share love, respect, and encouragement with one another and not degrade others. I strongly believe that instead of tearing others down, we should focus on building them up. It is so important to help family, friends and even acquaintances see the strength they have within themselves.

This is a time we can spend with our families, but at the same time not put too much stress on ourselves. The only thing stress is going to cause is hostility and negative emotions, which can become way too intense and painful. As much as we all want to be able to visit with our family during the holiday season, sometimes life gets in the way making it impossible. No matter the distance between families love is always there and it is never-ending!

To be completely honest with y’all, I have not been in the Christmas spirit at all this year. I am not even 100% sure why I have been slightly anti-Christmas this year. I guess it might be because there are always too many expectations that are not only exhausting but unattainable. I am sure many people will disagree with me and want to torture themselves by trying to be in two or three places at the same time.

I remember a time that Christmas was astounding and purely magical. I did grow up in the north where there was ALWAYS sparkling snow covering the ground at Christmas. Heck, there was snow covering the ground on Thanksgiving. A blanket of snow set a picture-perfect vision that allowed kids to go build snowmen , create snow angels, and have snowball fights!

Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were a child? I remember on Christmas Eve being able to open one of my gifts, which were always new Christmas pajamas to wake up in on Christmas day . I remember putting Christmas cookies and milk out for Santa and putting a few carrots outside for Santa’ reindeer! I can even recall lying in my bed waiting to hear Santa’s sleigh bells ring, so I could run to the window to see Santa, Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donder, Comet, Cupid, and Blitzen! Viewing life through the innocent eyes of a child can be refreshing and a beautiful thing.

I do sincerely hope the true meaning of Christmas will surface before next December. Maybe by December 2020, more can learn to quit carrying hate in their hearts and let more love through those cast-iron walls. I think the world could be a much happier place if everyone would embrace love!

On Christmas, if you were offered any three gifts of your choice and would forfeit any gifts from the future, what would they be? Keep in mind the skies the limit and any wish you make come true. I have listed what my wishes would be in no particular order.

I wish there would finally be cures for all the illnesses that cause people so many problems.
I wish all the hate in this world cease to exist and make room for love, kindness, and empathy.
I wish no child went without love and always had food on the table.

Thank you for stopping by my site today. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and you are feeling well. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort, and many positive vibes.

Always, Alyssa

Been a while

Featured

Posted on October 5, 2019 by Positively Alyssa

WOW, it feels like it has been forever since I did anything in the blogging community! While I was on my much needed vacation with my husband last week, I took a short break from doing anything involving a computer. The two of us went to my happy place, the BEACH, not only to celebrate my birthday, but also our 8 year wedding anniversary . We had an amazing time together and had absolutely beautiful weather! It was so great being far away from the stresses of work and be able to just sit back listening to the ocean waves! I honestly find the sight and sounds of the ocean , while reading a great book to be the best way to relax and refresh!

I am very far behind on reading all of your posts, which I already know are fantastic. Unfortunately, I do have to work the weekend so I can’t say I will be able to catch up, but I will still try.

Considering I have been away for almost 2 weeks now, how have y’all been doing? I hope you are feeling well and your month has started off great! October is beautiful and my favorite month, which I am not just saying that because it is the month I was married in. I have always enjoyed the change in weather during October. Normally it isn’t too hot and not that cold, it is just right! Sounds kind of like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but yet so true! Of course the southern states are not always on the same page with my thought process and it was in the high 90’s for the first week of October, but thankfully over the weekend the temperatures are going to drop! It is crazy though because when I say the temperatures are going to drop, I mean drop more than 20 degrees in one day!

Like I already stated, my husband and I had a wonderful vacation. Of course it wasn’t long enough and it was painful to return to work. The insane thing is we didn’t get home until the early morning hours and I had to work that day. I was so exhausted; nothing bothered me at all because my mind was still at the beach and maybe I was half asleep still. Of course things not bothering me only lasted half a day and I will tell you more about this later. My boss is still the same idiot he has always been!

For my birthday we had a lovely dinner at a restaurant that was oceanfront ! Considering we were at the beach during the off season it wasn’t overly crowded, which was great! Thankfully my husband did not tell the waitress it was my birthday, so I didn’t have to deal with the wait staff singing happy birthday to me and embarrassing me. I do not like to be center of attention and would prefer to go unnoticed!

The day after my birthday we went to another oceanfront restaurant to celebrate our 8 year wedding anniversary ! Back to back celebrations were nice and peaceful! It is so hard to believe we have already been married for 8 years , I mean where does the time go? I still remember the day my husband proposed like it was yesterday and that was 9 years ago!

I don’t know about you, but before last week there were times I was awake at sunrise, but never actually watched the sunrise. Standing out on the beach in the early morning hours watching the sun come up was a beautiful sight and pretty powerful! It really is amazing to watch as the sun slowly makes its way up to shine light on us all around the world! To think the sun I watched come up will also be seen on the other side of the world at some point.

The weather was so clear we were even able to watch the sunset! The sun sets slowly over the horizons and it is quite magical, especially near the ocean! Of course I do think everything is magical and hypnotizing when I am at the beach!

I hope y’all have a wonderful weekend and you are able to enjoy every moment of it. I will be back to my normal routine next week and maybe even some extra surprises. I want to thank you for stopping by my site today and please know that I always appreciate your comments. Please never forget that no matter how busy I am, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa