Category Archives: Memories

Grief and Love

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Grief can be haunting and inescapable because the memories of those who we lost are unstoppable. It has been two and a half months since losing Sundance and four years and two months since we lost Chloe. No matter how long it has been, I can remember the final moments of the lives of these two sweet and lovable cats. Of course, losing a loved one causes so much heartache, but many do not understand the level of pain losing a pet that you love dearly causes. If I could have traded places with either of these cats, I would have without questioning my decision. I wanted so desperately to donate one of or at least part of one of my lungs to Sundance, but the veterinarian shot me down because they said it was impossible. Even though I realized my lung was too large for Sundance, I did not understand why cutting mine to fit into his little body was impossible. Most days, I wake up hoping these losses were a nightmare and I would wake up to find them alive, but every morning, I am disappointed when I come to terms with the fact that it was not a nightmare but a reality. Unfortunately, reality cuts like a knife and leaves so much unknown.

Life imposes so many questions, but with limited to no answers. Often, I wonder why innocent animals must come down with illnesses that in the end, take their lives away. They did nothing to deserve such a grim fate and do not understand what is happening to them. How do you explain to a sick animal what they are enduring? How do you explain to any pets you still have where their friend went and why they are not coming home? Why are there so many innocent children who are living in unfair and dangerous situations? Why are there many kind and loving people who die of a painful and tragic death? People like my late grandfather did not deserve what he endured at the end of his life because he was a kind man and deserved more than he received. Why are there so many cruel people full of hate left in this world to torment others and never face the consequences for their cruel behaviors? It appears many have forgotten what the term justice means and accept the way things are going about in the world.

I try avoiding getting political or religious because everyone has their beliefs, and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s views. I wonder if one who believes in a higher power and that God loves all of us, why would he take those away from us that are pure love? How can anyone decide when anyone has fulfilled their purpose here on earth when so much was left undone? My late grandfather had strong religious beliefs, and I hope those beliefs gave him peace and that he is comfortable now, without any pain or torment. Our cats did not follow or have any beliefs because they only knew love, so why was their life cut short? Many of the reasons that I cannot get past the loss of our cats is because I was left wondering if there was something else, I could have and should have done for them. I blame myself for both losing their lives, and it will always haunt me.

With all the questions we face in our lives, how do you accept facts that there are no answers? Are we supposed to tolerate this and carry on with a questionable existence? For all the why, how, what, and where questions, can we make assumptions about them and deal with them? It has been a while, and I have gotten older; I have many questions and typically ignore them because I understand the things I cannot control and do not want to waste time, but many questions weigh on my mind. There are too many incurable illnesses in the world, and those affected must find a way to deal with their fate. It is complicated and can feel impossible, but everyone finds ways to see the positive in their lives. Many young and innocent children are dealing with this grim fate, but how can they understand this when they are too young and naïve to the world?

With the number of unanswered questions we may have, the best thing to do to survive life is to focus on the positive things we have in our lives. Losing those we love is inevitable and destined to happen. Instead of thinking about this, we must value and appreciate those we care about and ensure they never doubt how much they are loved and treasured because if we fail to do this, and leaves us with regrets. Families can be complicated, but the bonds we share with others go deeper than simply blood. I have never believed that the blood we share with family members is as important as the trust, respect, consideration, and loyalty shared with another human or our pets.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are having a lovely and relaxing weekend. I know parts of this post were not positive and uplifting, but they are some thoughts I struggle with. Some people say they love another, but do they understand what it means to love with their entire heart and soul? Love is a word that I never use loosely and will only use when it comes from my heart, and I mean it. Too many people tell others they love them, but at the end of the day, it is just another word to them without meaning. When I say I love our cats more than words can say, I mean it and without question. This is the one thing in life I do not question, my love for those I care about and our cats. I hope the last part of your weekend is amazing and you do something special for yourself. Please never forget I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Haunting Memories

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As adults, we are living in a uniquely chaotic and messy world. Time can often feel more like an illusion instead of reality. The core meaning of time starts making little to zero sense the older we get, or at least it has for me. Anyone who believes they have a firm and accurate understanding of time may be slightly disconnected from reality and logic. How can anyone completely understand something you cannot physically touch or see? ♥ The famous and brilliant physicist Albert Einstein stated that the past, present, and future is simply an illusion. He came to this conclusion based on his special theory of relativity, which denies any absolute universal significance to the present moment. Many become obsessed with time, and their lives revolve more around time and less about enjoying and making the most of their short lives. Whether it is time or aging, the one constant thing is our memories.

We all grew up making memories, but are all memories worth remembering? The simple answer is NO. What are some of your earliest memories that you never want to forget? Of course, as time carries on and we get older, some of our memories begin to diminish. ♥Over the years, no matter how hard I have tried or how desperately I want to forget things from the past, the situations and traumas have seared in my mind. Some memories will never tarnish, and certain things force the memories to surface with a vengeance. Have you ever wondered why the worst memories from the past are tainted with evil and are unforgiving? The harshness of the negative memories stirs up sadness and can cause too many tears and questions.

Are the questions we ask ourselves a bad thing or a normal part of life? Some questions can be very daunting and lead to many more questions. Of course, this can take you down the rabbit hole of more questions causing favorable outcomes, but others can be difficult to answer. No matter what you do, never allow any of your unfavorable memories to deter you in life. Remember everything we go through in life, which includes our positive and negative memories, makes us stronger and more resilient. ♥ Unfortunately, there will always be struggles and people trying to demoralize how we feel and impede our success, but only if we allow it.

Although the past week or so has been complicated and stressful, much of this is still fresh, and I am trying to overcome discouragement. It is not always clear, especially at first, but I believe everything in life happens for a reason. ♥ When I lost my job, it was painful because it was just a job and should not have made me cry and be upset so many times. I believe this loss hurt as bad as it did because I “had” respected and valued my former supervisor. The emotional and physical pain I experienced from this experience has caused me too much stress, anger, and heartache, which I am still working to overcome and move on.

We gain trillions of memories daily, but how many memories will we remember? I am lucky if I can remember what I had for breakfast. With trillions of memories, we are bound to remember a few of them, right? Who knows? I think it is possible this may be untouched and has not been studied enough for an accurate analysis. It would be an interesting subject to research. I am sure someone has already done research like this or at least thought about it, but how do you know it is accurate?

Thank you for stopping by my site today. I hope you are having a good week, and each day gets better. It has been painfully difficult for me not to have a schedule because time has less meaning. I think having a job provides me with a purpose, and not having a job currently is causing me to feel useless, which is an awful feeling. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared with you today, and I look forward to your comments. I will respond to your comments as quickly as possible. Please never forget I am always sending y’all LOTS of love♥, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes. 

Always, Alyssa

Tranquil Tuesday

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What does Tuesday mean? This means that we survived another Monday! How has your week been so far? Yes, I know it has only been one day, but at least we are getting closer to the weekend! I know many people do not care much for Monday, but they are not that bad if you keep things in perspective. Each day should be seen as a blessing because it means we are still alive and here to keep moving through this life. Of course, nothing in life is a guarantee, but we can make the most of it and not give up. I think it is important to appreciate each day, and each person in our lives because we do not know what life has in store for us.

Today, I want to help add calmness and peacefulness to your lives. It is easy to get lost in the chaos and forget what is meaningful and important in our lives. I know some situations can be challenging to smile through, but does it not make you feel happier and more at peace when you see someone else smile? Each smile can be contagious, and if we could spread something that offers so much happiness, would that not be better than the alternative? Once you start smiling, you will end up being happier, and it is not that difficult if you put forth an effort!

I have been thinking a lot lately, and that can be scary because my mind will run into overdrive. I think about my late grandfather and if he would be proud of the person that I have become. I think about our cat, Chloe, whom we had for almost 13 years, who passed away on my lap. I think about one of our other cats, Lexi, who I had stayed up with all night and still went to work the following day because she had been sick, but she passed away before I could make it home from work. I think about my husband’s late grandparents, who were two of the most loving and amazing people in the world. I wonder if there will come a day when we will all be reunited or if that is just a fairytale. Life is fragile and often taken for granted, but we should try to eliminate this aspect of life and appreciate everything more each day!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I know I got a little carried away in the previous paragraph, but at least I warned you that it is never a good thing when my mind drives too deep into my thoughts! I hope that you enjoyed what I have shared and that I provided you with some peace in this chaotic world. I would love to read your comments, and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! 

Always, Alyssa

Memories Never Fade

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This post is about two and a half weeks late, but please know it was not forgotten. Several years ago, on February 7th, we lost our precious cat Chloe we had for almost 16 years. This loss was painful for me, my husband, and our other cat, Sundance. Chloe brought us so much joy, laughter, happiness, and so much more. Losing her was like losing part of our hearts because she was for lack of better words our first child. Yes, I know she was a cat, but for us, she was so much more, and she will never be forgotten.

It has taken me a long time to be able to see her picture or the place on our fireplace mantel where her remains are without crying. We did have Chloe cremated, so she is still in our living room watching over us. Honestly, even after the years that have passed, I do still have mini breakdowns because I miss that sweet little girl so much. I cannot explain how much everyone that had been around her loved her dearly. Chloe had an instinct in her little body that knew anytime I was not feeling well due to the MS and would stay with me until I started to feel better. She slept by my head every night and even the night before she passed away, she slept with me.

After we lost Chloe, we knew Sundance was grieving as much as we were. It was so heartbreaking seeing him sad and missing Chloe. To see a sweet cat like Sundance sad and not understand where his friend went was awful. I did try explaining to him what happened, but he did not understand and would continue looking for her and we would hear him crying. For the first few months, I apologized to him because I felt like it was my fault for not getting Chloe to the vet sooner, and even after the vet told me that it would not have mattered, I held onto the guilt for a long time.

To try to help Sundance heal from the loss, and I guess me and my husband as well, we looked into adopting another cat, but NOT to replace Chloe because she was irreplaceable. After looking online for a while, I kept going back to a picture of this beautiful female cat that had the most innocent little face. I submitted the application, and we received the call that we were chosen to be the ones to adopt her. Little did I know, when we went to adopt the little girl, she had a smaller little girlfriend with her. Of course, we could not leave one behind because they had been close and grown up together.

I still do not regret adopting the two little girl cats because they have made a huge difference in Sundance’s demeanor. Sundance is about 12 years old now and the two girls are keeping him feeling young, and I think healthier overall, despite his asthma. Of course, I will always miss Chloe and she will always have a very special place in our hearts. I decided to finally write about this today because out of nowhere, I had a massive emotional breakdown earlier. Both of the girls and Sundance came to my side trying to figure out why I was crying and would not leave until I stopped. Animals are truly amazing little creatures that have so much love in their hearts. I have a really hard time when I see anything about an animal being abused and neglected because even though someone harmed them, they would be forgiven. The only thing any person or animal wants in life is love and it should not be that difficult to provide!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. If you have pets and consider them family as I do, please give your pet or pets a little extra love because they will not always be here, and you do not want to have any regrets. If there was a way to bring Chloe back, I would do so in a second and without any hesitation. As always, I would love the chance to read your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

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Happy Monday, y’all! I know the weekend went by extremely fast, but I hope you were able to enjoy it as much as possible! I spent my weekend not doing anything too exciting besides cleaning and organizing the house and working on the article for the writing competition. I am sure most people would think I am insane, but I enjoy organizing rooms and closets. If nothing else was accomplished, I am able to see progress when I organize and it makes me feel good! The weather where I live has been very unpredictable. Rain was expected all weekend, but one of the days was semi nice and yesterday it rained all day and was a little chilly!

Today, we must accept the weekend is over and a new workweek is beginning. I know this is not easy, but I guess it happens every week and we all manage! This week is normally difficult for me because Thursday is my late grandfather’s birthday. Instead of being sad all the days leading up to his birthday, I feel his life should be celebrated fully! My late grandfather was one of the BEST people in this world and I carry his memory with me every day. I feel like a lot of the reasons I am who I am is because of who he was, a kind, understanding, compassionate, loving, and fair man with a heart of gold!! My message to y’all today is to enjoy life to the fullest and never take anything or anyone for granted!

I hope your week begins great and continues to get better with each day that passes. Do you have anything going on this week that you are looking forward to or dreading? I have my follow-up appointment with my dentist to make sure I am healing well from the tooth extraction last month. I think everything is healing well so I am not too concerned. I am not a fan of dentists, but the one I went to was good, which could be because she let me have her puppy on my lap. This made my anxiety with the dentist much easier!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and the quote helps get you motivated for the rest of the week. Remember to not stress about anything you have no control over and handle everything that happens this week, one at a time! I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Missing you still

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Of all the posts I have written and will write in the future, posts like this one are always the most difficult. September 9, 2013, was the day when my entire world was turned upside down and inside out because I lost someone that I considered to be my hero. My Grandfather, that I called Poppy was my rock and he kept me grounded through many life struggles. Losing him was one of the worst times in my life and I did not have my rock to help me through it. I thought my Poppy hung and moon and stars, and he could do no wrong in my eyes.

When I lost him nine years ago, he took a HUGE piece of my heart with him, but the lessons I learned from him will always live on in me. As much as I continue to try, there is no way I can ever be as great as he was, but I will never stop trying because I want to make him proud.

My Poppy was honest, caring, devoted, understanding, loving, compassionate, fair, and many other amazing qualities. I do not think there is anyone now or will ever be anyone else like him because he truly was one of a kind. I think that it is possible that God broke the mold when he made him. During my entire life, he never once disappointed me and I always knew that I could rely on him.

I have so many fond memories of him that I will never forget and will treasure until the end of time. He was a pro golfer that dedicated his life to the sport. I can remember times he tried showing me how to play and even though I was not doing well, he never gave up on me. I did not enjoy trying to play golf, but I did enjoy driving the golf cart around his golf course. As a young child, I loved being with my Poppy and rarely paid attention to the other golfers. There were numerous times I was in the way and had close calls with getting hit by the golf balls flying through the air, but he never raised his voice to me when he told me to watch where I was walking.

I remember driving in the car with him while he was singing. There is one songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ that I will never forget because he loved to sing it. Every time I hear Seven Spanish Angels by Ray Charles and Willie Nelsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ, I can hear him singing. Of course, now I am unable to get through the song without crying because I miss him SO much. 

I think one of the hardest things for me is, that I never got to say “goodbye”. I wanted to go visit him because I knew he was sick, but he did not want me to fly all that way to see him. I think he was trying to protect me because he did not want me to see him sick and suffering. It is so hard because the last image I have of him is when we went to his funeral. It is hard to get that image out of my mind because while it did look like him, that was not the man I remember. I am not sure he knew just how much I loved and admired him and that breaks my heart.

Out of everyone in my family, both my mother’s side and father’s side, my Poppy was my heart and soul. I idolized him and thought he would live forever. I will never forget when my uncle called me to tell me about Poppy passing away. The call caught me off guard for several reasons, one being that my uncle never calls me, but the other is because I could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. I could not understand how a man like my Poppy could be gone and I just wanted to see him again. I know someday, I will be reunited with my Poppy, and I just hope he will tell me that he is proud of the woman I had become. 

In all honesty, I am thankful everyday that I had a grandfather as special as mine was. Everyone who knew him was lucky because he loved unconditionally and would do anything for those he cared about. Sadly, all his friends and family lost a magical and amazing human being nine years ago and will forever miss him. He touched so many lives and made a HUGE difference for so many.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have had a good week and you are ready for the weekend to begin. I know this was a sad post, which I am sorry to end the week this way. Unfortunately, I will have a heavy heart today because I do miss my Poppy. I hope he is looking down from Heaven and he is enjoying the best golf courses ever created and he is proud of who I am today. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Exciting Weekend!

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We are all simply just human beings, merely trying to survive this crazy life with some sanity. Often, we tend to be completely oblivious to how short our lives are because sometimes life feels painfully long and overwhelmingly complicated. We can be blind to understand how to accomplish our dreams as they can seem impossible for us to reach. We all have an exciting combination of small, large, and every type of dream in between, which all have remarkable meaning to us.

To some people, I know one of my “dreams” seem small and not a big deal. However, it was a dream to be in the same room with an author that I admire. This stems from my strong desire to write and have the ability to write a novel someday. On Friday evening my husband and I drove 3 hours north of where we live for a James Patterson event! This was not a meet and greet event, but it was still beyond exciting for me.

When we first walked into the event location, we received James Patterson’s newest book which was released on Monday. The book is his autobiography, and it was signed by Mr. Patterson. There were also two more of his new books available and they were also signed. My husband knows how much I love James Patterson’s books and he asked if I had read either of the books yet. Of course, I have one of them on Kindle already😊! The kind lady selling the books said she would still be there after the event, and I had time to think about it.

I wanted to get as close as we could to the stage area where James Patterson would be, so we sat about 7 rows back. The first few rows were reserved, but I still have no idea who they were reserved for. After a few minutes, my husband said he was going to go purchase the books that were available for me, so we would not have to worry they would be sold after the event. While I waited for him to return, I know I was looking around with a huge smile on my face😊 and probably looked like a crazy person! I commented to the older lady sitting behind us that I felt like a kid on Christmas morning waiting for Santa.

Of course, I already had an enormous amount of admiration for James Patterson, but what made him even better was the way he came out to the stage area. The man has a wonderful sense of humor and is extremely humble. He talked a little about his life, answered several questions from the chairman doing the interview, and then answered questions that were submitted from the audience. I never in a million years thought the last question he answered would be my question. It was so surreal and interesting to listen to him talk. His response to my question was simply put and what I thought it was going to be.

I have had BIG dreams to have a career in writing since I was a child. I understand that I am no longer a child and have to maintain a job to pay the bills, but after reading James Patterson’s autobiography, I learned with hard work, determination, and a strong will, anything is possible. Back when he had a normal 9-5 job, he would write for a few hours before work and a few more hours after work. I always thought I had a strange style with writing because I have to hand write everything before typing it. Putting my thoughts into words on paper makes me feel more connected with what I am writing and to my surprise, that is how James Patterson feels as well😊!

I think reading the autobiography made me understand James Patterson more as a writer and it shows that he is a normal person. I read that he enjoys playing golf and know he lives in the north, so all I want to ask him now is, “Did you ever play golf with James Bucky O’Brien?”. The two men did not live too far from one another and anyone that lives up north and is serious about gold “should” know James Bucky O’Brien (this is my late grandfather)! For those of you who are not sure, my grandfather was a golf pro his entire life!

The drive was a total of six hours, but I think it was worth every minute. I enjoyed hearing my favorite author talk and crack jokes. Since I learned about James Patterson and his series “The Women’s Murder Club”, I have loved every book I read and could not wait for the next one. I know that this type of event was not something my husband was interested in, but he came with me because he knows how happy it made me. This is something that can make a marriage great, when there is a give and take. Doing something you are not interested in because your significant other is. I know I have done this for him many times before and I am thankful he was there with me for this exciting event!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope you are having a great weekend and enjoyed what I have shared today. This is the last day of our weekend, so we need to appreciate the time that is left. I am just now starting to feel normal again. I think the several hours of driving and lack of sleep due to excitement made things worst with my pain, but it was all worth it! I would love to read your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. I hope the last few hours of the weekend are spent well. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Memories

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Memories can be an amazing part of our life. Some memories we want to hold onto forever and cherish because they were incredibly special. Throughout our lives, we get many new memories good and bad which we do not have control over. Of course, the good memories are the ones that can always make us smile😊. We never want to forget the best of memories we have had because they were during special times. Do you have any great memories you enjoy remembering?

Have you ever wondered why we keep bad memories stored in our minds or why we cannot forget them? We all can admit that our bad memories were awful and were caused by terrible times in our life that we wish never happened. The bad memories are the ones that are haunting and feel like a nightmare we cannot wake from.

The brain stores highly emotional memories longer than other, such as happy or neutral memories. The negative memories remain in our mind longer because they coincide with highly stressful situations. There are many reasons one may want to forget certain memories; some may be embarrassing and humiliating. Other negative memories are agonizingly painful and or traumatizing. Many things can trigger distressing memories and can send us into a tailspin of negative thoughts.

If there are painful memories you feel you need to forget, remember that it takes time for any memories to fade away and you must try to not become discouraged. The following are ways to decrease a memory’s emotional burden and helps them to be less invasive.

~First, even though we want to forget a memory we need to identify and understand the bad memory. Recall the sights, sounds, smells, and feeling that came over you during the specific time.

~Second, rather than trying to ignore the unwanted feelings the memory instilled on you, allow yourself to feel them. It might be hard to allow the feelings in because the memory was harsh, but it is part of the healing process.

~Another step is try to determine what triggers your memory. You can take note of the things that trigger your painful memory and be prepared when it happens again. Knowing your triggers can help you to find healthy alternatives to cope and not run away from them because they will continue to return until they are addressed.

Think about some of the best memories you have stored in your mind. Never let those memories go because we all need them to help us through the tragic times in life. Sometimes it seems like there are more bad memories than good because we have not processed and found a way to cope with our bad memories. Think about it, are you able to think of more good or bad memories when asked? I definitely have many good memories but can admit it is the bad memories that weigh heavily on my mind.

Our childhoods are what shape us into the adults we become and unfortunately, not everyone has the picture-perfect childhood. We often can remember things we wish we could not remember and avoid talking about them because they were bad times in life. We cannot erase our past, but we can find ways to cope with the pain and use the memories as a learning experience.

Thank you for visiting my site today. Even though I know this topic can be painful, I hope you found what I have discussed helpful. I look forward to reading your comments and will respond to all of them as quickly as I can. I hope you have been able to enjoy your weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Two Days of Head Pain

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For many years now, one of the most consistent parts of my life has been the pain issues. Living with pain 24/7 is not easy but most pain I can deal with. I suppose I have learned how to continue living my life, despite the pain because I have realized it was not going anywhere. Over the years, there have been several frustrating things I have encountered when I would say, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” There are no ways to join the pain, so acceptance is the next best thing to do.

Regardless of how I have learned to live with pain, there is one type I am unable to tolerate. Everyone handles pain differently, but for me, head pain is the most unbearable. Unfortunately, headaches are something I have endured long before I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. One of my first memories of having a headache was as a child. A little girl in kindergarten getting off the school busy with so much head pain I was on the couch all night unable to move.

The painful truth about headaches is, they seem impossible to get used to. All I can do is lay down in a dark and quiet room with an ice pack on my head waiting for the pain to lessen. Every headache I get is a miserable experience that I would not wish on anyone, even my worst enemy.

Since Friday evening, I have been battling with a sinus/migraine. A normal sinus headache or migraine are bad enough on their own, but to gang up on me was just evil. Nothing was helping to ease my pain. I tried an ice pack on my head, but it continued to get too warm. I took Excedrin, Advil, and Sudafed, but it refused to ease up. This double hit of head pain caused me to feel nauseous and dizzy. After staying on the couch with my cats trying their best to make me feel better all day yesterday, I am finally somewhat better today. As I write this post, I am still dealing with the head pain, but I can tolerate it much better now.

Several years ago, when I was getting these nasty migraine/sinus headaches on a regular, I tried going off the Gilenya that I take for Multiple Sclerosis. I had known that sinus issues were a side effect of Gilenya and thought if I went off the source, the sinus headaches would stop. Of course, my doctor advised against this, but I was so sick and tired of the sinus pain, I was willing to do anything to put a stop to it. Unfortunately, going off the Gilenya for a short amount of time caused the MS to get worse and I ended up with additional lesions.

I made the decision years ago that I would rather endure the head pain rather than allow the MS to get worst. Gilenya has been a saving grace because it has slowed the progression of the MS and that means more to me than not having head pain. Yes, I do get sinus and or migraines weekly, but at least my MS is not progressing and putting me in a wheelchair. NO, being in a wheelchair is not the worst thing that could happen, but it is something that I have been terrified of since being diagnosed with MS when I was 19 years old.  I will continue to fight the MS with everything I have and if that means dealing with the head pain, so be it!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are having a great and safe weekend. I am sure y’all have heard that COVID numbers are increasing again, so I hope you are either already vaccinated or plan to do so soon! I would love to read your comments on what I have shared today and promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Life is complicated

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There have been many challenges we have faced during the past few years. All of this takes a lot of courage, perseverance, dedication, determination, and a great amount of internal strength. I completely understand how this can feel overwhelming and we might want to throw our hands up and give up on what we need and want. Sometimes it might feel like the battle within is too demanding, but if we do everything we possibly can and continue fighting we will eventually win the war.

For all of us that are living with a chronic and incurable illness, the obstacles may seem like they are endless and maybe they are. However, if we do not keep pushing through with all we can, we will never know what we are capable of. I have always believed that behind every door we close, something better is waiting around the next corner. We will not be able to know our full potential if we do not at least try.

All the small or large issues we deal with in life provide us with an opportunity and a learning experience. It might never seem like it at the time, but surviving these issues makes us the strong people we are today. It is crucial to view the struggles we face in life as a building block to the incredibly strong people we were meant to be instead of as an inconvenience.

If you take a few minutes to think about your life, would you be who you are today if it were not for what you have been through? Honestly, I do not know who I would be if I did not have the experiences I did have. Of course, not all our experiences have been pleasant and sometimes we do not want to remember them because they may have been awful. The hardest things we have gone through gave us the most valuable lessons.

You do not have to answer this question but at least think about these questions. What were a few of the most hellacious, painful, and complicated things you have gone through in life, and what did you learn from those experiences? I am not going to go into detail about one of my experiences that was like this, but I will tell you this ordeal taught me to be strong and to never allow anyone to mistreat me. For the most part, we can decide who we allow in our life.

It is extremely important to understand that trust is something that is earned and not given immediately. It is not easy, but we should try to at least give others the benefit of the doubt, but without putting too much trust into that person. The hard part about this is, we are all human and sometimes people will do something to betray our trust. Once trust is lost, it is not easy to get back because it takes a lot of work and healing from whatever hurt the betrayal caused. There is not a timeline to when we “should” heal from times when another’s deception because we are all different and heal in various ways.

It is a little ironic that I started a post about headaches and have been dealing with one ever since. I am hoping for the headache I have had for several days will get better soon, so I can finish the post to share with y’all. I think the information that I have so far will be beneficial to anyone that experiences headaches more than just occasionally. Considering I have been dealing with headaches most of my life, I would have thought I would be used to them by now, but unfortunately, I am not. Even though I deal with pain 24/7 the pain does not stop me from doing what I want in life, but a headache will stop me completely. I guess no one has or could get used to them though.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am sorry that I have been a little absent lately, but hopefully that will change soon, and this headache will go away. I am looking forward to reading your comments, which I will respond to as quickly as I possibly can. Even though I know the COVID cases as decreased greatly, I hope you are all continuing to stay as safe as you can. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa