How to overcome a negative mindset

Posted on January 9, 2022 by Positively Alyssa

Since December 9, 2021, when I was laid off from my job, my mind has been on a continuous and endless downward spiral with negativity. It has been an incredibly frustrating and discouraging month. Logically, I do understand that there was nothing I did wrong to deserve the layoff, but that is not making this situation any easier. Considering I have always tried finding the positive in all situations in life, it is difficult for me to process all the negative emotions I have been experiencing.

One month of struggling to not allow the negative and disappointing thoughts circling in my mind has been exhausting. Too often I feel as though I am drowning in the fierce rapids that continue pulling me down. I was good at my job and the clients enjoyed working with me and I enjoyed them as well. I keep reminding myself that my job did not define who I am and that I deserve to be treated better and with respect while at work.

I find it a little insane that I can be somewhat logical about some things, and it is impossible to let go of the illogical emotions surrounding the layoff. I have been applying for many jobs daily, all have been remote because I am still nervous about COVID. From what I understand, the latest variant Omicron is extremely contagious but does not appear to be as life-threatening as the other variants. I have read that those that are vaccinated and get COVID are just having mild symptoms. The symptoms of Omicron are similar to that of a common cold, which includes cough, fatigue or tiredness, and congestion, and a runny nose.

I am going to work towards trying to find my way out of the negative and draining mindset. I always used to do say it takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive. Through the rest of this post, I am going to share ways to deal with and break free from negative thoughts. We are human and it can be easy to fall into the negativity quicksand. There are always ways to break the cycle before drowning in our pessimistic mind, it just takes time and determination.

Surprisingly enough, one of the most beneficial ways to clear our heads and refocus is to spend time alone. It tends to be easy for introverts to spend time alone, but even extroverts can find this to be useful when they try. Under normal circumstances, I am an extrovert and enjoy the ability to meet and talk to others, but even with that said I do value time alone to get a better understanding of my thoughts.

Spending time alone helps me to contemplate life and any events that have occurred. It is especially helpful to focus my attention on the good aspects of life because even when they are challenging to see there are always good things that life offers all of us.

Remember to try keeping things in perspective. We are all going to face dilemmas or ordeals in life. During these times it is easy to feel overwhelmed and even defeated. It is in our human nature to fall into a negative mindset. The various struggles encountered in life can cause anyone to lose perspective.

We all tend to focus on the problems, instead of focusing on the solutions. This is when it is crucial to look at the bigger picture. No matter how difficult any situation is, there are still positive things happening around us. When we can focus on these, it will be much easier to overcome the negative mindset.

When we are going through troublesome times, it is important to talk to someone that is trusted. Sometimes, we may just need to vent our frustrations. This will help to lift the weight off our shoulders. Once we have talked openly and honestly with our trusted confidant, that person may help to keep this situation in perspective and eliminate negative emotions, which may help clear our negative mindset.

If I am being 100% honest and transparent, talking about what is causing me to feel negative is not easy for me. I do not like feeling as though I am burdening someone else with what I am going through in life, so I end up keeping my feeling buried deep down and all that does is cause problems to become worse and possibly create other issues. I can speak from experience when I say trying to ignore feelings is the most unhealthy way to be and I will urge you to try talking do someone!

Another concept that is important to understand is, we cannot expect everything to be perfect. If we convince ourselves through illogical ideals anything can ever be perfect, we are depriving ourselves of happiness. Trying to escape from a negative mindset will require us to fixate on realistic goals, instead of impracticable ones.

If you have never tried or even heard about the Displacement Theory, it might help to try this out! This is ending the patterns of negative thoughts by trying to replace the thoughts with something else. It is impossible to think of two things at the same time, simply choose something you would love to do and begin working towards only that! Allow the pursuit of a dream to replace the negative thoughts that are consuming your mind.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read this post. If anything, I have mentioned resonates with you, I would love to hear more about what you have gone through and how you handled things. As I have already mentioned, life is not easy, and it can take effort to overcome. Like always, I am looking forward to reading your comments and I promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How do you handle…

Posted on December 3, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

A Bad Day When You Work From home

Have you ever had one of those days when you found nearly everything extremely frustrating? How did you handle that intense amount of frustration? Normally, I am good at ignoring small issues that aren’t that important or can be dealt with calmly, but when numerous things occur at the same time, I allow all the little issues to upset me to an unreasonable extent. Sometimes all those small issues join together and feel like an enormous problem. This is the way my day was for the last part of the day yesterday.

So, let me explain a little better. First of all, let me say that I do love my job, but there are a few things that bother me more than they probably should. For starters, when I have a question that only someone in management can address, but I am left hanging for hours. Also, knowing full when this person is answering other questions only adds to my frustration. I mean, seriously, how do you handle things like this?

Second of all, I have always been the type of person that can and does get along with anyone. Even with this said, there is ONLY ONE person I work with that I struggle to tolerate. I know it isn’t just me that feels this way as this ONE person rubs most people the wrong way. Now, how do you endure a person that seems to have a negative attitude or is very unhappy with life? I have tried to kill this person with kindness, but it doesn’t work!

I am thankful to have my work from home job. This offers me a safe way to earn a decent monthly income, but this also means my home often feels like a prison where I never get away from work. I remember how work was before COVID-19. I can recall leaving my house and driving to work in the morning. Then I would work for only eight hours and LEAVE work to drive home! Leaving work for the day would be one of the best parts of my day because I had that distance from work, especially if I had a bad day at work. If you have a bad day at work and you work from home, how do you find that distance so desperately needed? I have tried, but I am clueless on how to do this. Please if you have any ideas, I am willing to try just about anything. Also, adding to the isolation and inability to find a way to escape work, COVID numbers in the state I live in are the highest they have been since the pandemic started so it isn’t like I can go to the mall and walk around.

I have always said that life is too short to not enjoy life to the fullest and not let things affect you negatively. The funny thing is my husband has heard me say this multiple times during our sixteen years together and when he saw how upset I got yesterday; he simply reminded me that I don’t get paid enough to get as upset as I did. I do understand that men and women think very differently, but his thoughts were extremely obvious. I knew he was right, but instead of calming down, it made me even more frustrated and angry. I also tend to cry when I get overly frustrated. It was an hour later I did end up calming down and admitted I need to learn how to let things go and remain calm.

After reading all of this, do y’all have any advice on how I can escape from work? Considering my husband and I both work from home, but at different hours we share a home office in the finished part of our basement. Logically, you would think just going upstairs would be at distance from work, but I still feel trapped at work.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know I missed my normal Tranquil Tuesday and Inspirational Wednesday posts, but I have worked too many hours and have been exhausted so I wasn’t able to. I am planning to do better next week and work normal hours so I have time for things I enjoy, like writing, crocheting (not that the weather is cold), and reading! I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Pros & Cons to working from home

Posted on August 15, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

Let’s Talk About Our New Norms

In the wake of the pandemic, many companies are not requiring their employees to work in the office but instead allowing them to work from home. The truth is many positions could have been working from home long before now. Companies could have saved themselves a lot of money by not paying rental payments or leases on buildings, the utilities required, or any other expenses. Technology in 2020 has come as far allowing for any and everything to be done online. Meetings and training can be done through Skype for business, Zoom, GoToMeeting, and countless other programs.

Working from home and setting up a home office comes with many benefits, but also several challenges. Do y’all have a home office since COVID-19 has spread massively and relentlessly around the world? If you have, what have been the benefits and challenges you have experienced?

The benefits of being able to work from home might be rather obvious, but I will explain a few I have found. One of the greatest and most crystal-clear benefits is safety from a deadly virus. Considering I have a weak immune system because of the medication I take for Multiple Sclerosis, it is a blessing to work from home. I try my best to keep my distance from people outside of my home and now days hardly leave my house. This virus scares the hell out of me because it has already killed so many people and could, unfortunately, kill me as well and I can’t do that to my family.

Another benefit working from home provides me is the ability to always wear comfortable and non-dressy clothes. This might sound like a silly benefit, but it can be incredibly helpful when dealing with the massive pain I deal with on a daily basis. Just by having the choice to never wear those uncomfortable, but cute high heel shoes or the pretty but extremely confining dresses or pants, it is priceless. Simply being able to get out of the shower and not have to mess with drying my hair or trying to get it looking nice is a time saver! Then just throwing on a t-shirt and comfy pants are amazing. Of course, I do still continue putting my makeup on because it makes me feel much more confident, even though no one but me sees it.

An additional benefit to working from home is never dealing with the insane and chaotic traffic in the mornings on my way into work or the evenings on the way home. With the ridiculous amounts of crazed drivers always in a rush to get where they think they must go, seldom paying attention to anything but the phone by their side, and seeing the numerous accidents along the way was terrifying. I always dreaded my drives and now to get to work is a simple walk downstairs to where my home office is set up!

In a crazy way, it is always a benefit and also a disadvantage to not have to be around co-workers. We have all dealt with those co-workers that enjoyed office drama and gossip. Trying to remain polite to others while avoiding the drama was always so exhausting. It is rather nice to never be forced to worry about the latest drama or gossip the runs through most offices. I do not need to worry about who I should avoid and or who can or can’t be trusted. I enjoy being able to focus completely on the work that I need to do during my workday without interruptions from co-workers wanting to talk nonsense. Even with all that said, I do still miss having a co-worker close by to ask questions or run issues by, but I guess that is what email is for.

Even though there are many benefits to working from the comfort and safety of my own home, there are some challenges involved as well. To be honest, it does not matter how many challenges I might face working from home, the benefits will always outweigh any and all obstacles.

Although I did work for a mortgage company for almost three years in the past, it has been a few years since I worked in the industry. The company I am with now is a lot different and so are my job duties. My previous mortgage company, like any other, had its good and bad parts. I did and still do have a great amount of respect for my former manager. I am not going to talk negatively about my previous mortgage company because I did learn a lot, so overall it was a good experience. The negative aspects of that company are the same as most companies, there are many immature people that are in positions they do not have the knowledge or business being in.

One of the challenges I have found working from home is the virtual/online training and guidance. Like I just explained, I worked for a mortgage company previously and even though that company had its own challenges, I did receive adequate in-person training. The training, guidance, and direction provided me with the confidence that enabled me to do my job almost like second nature. Learning a new job with many new responsibilities virtually has been slightly difficult. There are a few people I can email or instant message with any questions I have, but this causes me a lack of confidence in the knowledge I have and or even my skills. I think not having someone to give me feedback on what I am doing well with or what and how I can improve on is frustrating. When you work for a company and go to an office, there is normally a handbook on processes, but working from home there has not been such a thing.

Another challenge I have encountered while working from home is having the silence needed for focusing. My husband also works from home, but he works nights and we do share the same home office area. There are some hours after his shift ends he needs to unwind, which I can understand and support. The only issue is he will watch new segments online causing an annoying distraction for me. I know it is important to know what is going on in the world, but I have had more than enough of the political lies and prefer to not listen to anything that comes from the president’s mouth. I also can’t take any more about Epstein or his girlfriend/partner in crime Maxwell. Everything that Epstein and Maxwell did cause me to feel sad, angry, and massive amounts of emotional pain.

I never in a million years thought I would ever think this, but something else that is a little challenging for me is, not know any of my co-workers. Of course, I managed to get to know a couple of my co-workers through email and phone calls, but I have never met any of them in person. I have been with my company for one month now and I still do not even know everyone’s name on the team I work with. It is unusual for me to not know at least something about everyone I work with. I have always been friendly and accepting of others and now it is just me alone. I guess in a way, working from home can be a little lonely.

Now that I have gone through the benefits and challenges I have found about working from home, I would love to hear your feedback. I know not everyone is able to do their job from home, but many have been granted this access. Do any of you that work from home have benefits and challenges you have found? How have you dealt with the challenges?

Thank you for visiting my site today. It has been a little while since I have been able to write about a specific topic because I am normally too darn exhausted to do so. This is something that I have missed and plan to do more of. I know y’all deal with being tired and it is hard to leave comments, but I do look forward to reading yours. I promise that I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. I know I say this in every post, but please do everything you possibly can to stay safe from the virus. This virus knows no boundaries and will cause problems for anyone it can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!