About Positively Alyssa

I was diagnosed 16 years ago, when I was only 19 years old, with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. I had gone to my eye doctor because I had lost vision in my left eye. Prior to my appointment, I had prepared myself to have the doctor confirm that I would be blind in my left eye and that was all. Never in a million years did I expect to hear the doctor tell me that after consulting with his colleagues, that I need to go for an MRI that day because they were thinking that with my symptoms that I had MS. Just a couple hours later I went to get the life altering MRI. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. My eye doctor called me from his home at 9:30 at night to confirm what they suspected, I in fact had MS. He immediately referred me to a specialist he knew and I was able to get in to see him that same week. Luckily, after a round of steroids, my vision came back in my eye just leaving me with leg pain that would continue to be part of my life. Through the years I have tried numerous different medications that are meant to slow the progression of the disease down. I was never good at the injections and it wasn't because of the needle, it was because the medication burned like fire going in. Still after all these years I still go through my battles of denial, anger, frustration and sadness. However, I have always said that I would NEVER allow MS to control my life but I would control the disease. For the most part, I have been pretty successful with that. I mean we all have our bad days but it doesn't make the situation any better. With this blog I am hoping that with my experiences, endless amounts of research and a powerful fight i me that I can not only help others going through this but that I can learn from others as well. Living with the ups and downs of MS can be challenging but the power of the mind can beat anything that is thrown our way!

Just Another Day

just-another-day.jpgGood afternoon y’all! For me today is just another day of resting trying to get past this incredible amount of pain I have been dealing with for WAY too long! This obnoxious pain is mixed with that burning sensation that will not cool down, tingling throughout my entire body, numbness which sounds like it would be better than pain, but it really isn’t it is almost worse and a headache that seems never-ending! The nurse practitioner I normally deal with is off today and the doctor that I do my best to avoid is in clinic today, which makes her pretty much unavailable. The only thing the nurse I spoke with was able to say is rest and staying hydrated is important until I can get the MRI, which I was still waiting to hear back from the assistance program. I did just email the Multiple Sclerosis Society of America, which is the company that will either approve or deny assistance for me to get MRI assistance. Now the response I got back from my email was quite upsetting, which is something I really did not need today. They stated the doctor did not provide an order for the MRI, which made no sense to me considering I did send them everything I was instructed to by the doctor’s office, imagine that another miscommunication from them! To hopefully make things actually work out for me, I emailed the nurse requesting the MRI order. Honestly the nurse has been the ONLY person at this office that has been at all helpful to me.  Maybe I will get that back from them sometime this week!!

It is a little frustrating when you are doing everything you possibly can to get well, but itbutterfly-3054736_960_720 just isn’t working the way it should be! I am resting, staying hydrated and taking all the medications the doctor has prescribed, but there is still NO relief yet! My guess is the stress this issue is causing me is not helping me get better, but it is in fact making things so much worse! Isn’t it crazy when we know what is causing our problems to become worse, but yet we still change absolutely nothing with our thought process? Obviously I know exactly what is making all my pain more intense, but I am still getting myself worked up and upset about it anyways!

I think to help get my mind off of my many pain issues; I am going to work more on my bullet journal I am trying to put together. I do not want to start it at the end of the month because I do not think that makes sense, so I am planning this for July! My plan so far is to have a few trackers that will include: symptoms and food I eat in a day (this will be to peace 1see what foods could be causing more issues for me). I want to also include a Hopes & Dreams page, Positive thinking page to really keep my mind in a happy place and a Gratitude page. I might include a page of books that I want to read considering sometimes I think of a book I want to read, but then forget the title! Then lastly I want to include a page of ideas for my blog because I come up with random ideas, but then forget what I wanted to write about when I try to start! I guess I can contribute my forgetful mind to brain fog from the MS.

I really appreciate y’all visiting my site today! Your comments are always appreciate and encouraged because I do love hearing from y’all! I am doing my best to respond as quickly as I can, but with the way I am feeling there is a chance I might be a little delayed, but I will respond!! I hope y’all are having a good day and feeling well! As always no matter how I am feeling or what I am dealing with I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Lesion Party

discouraging.jpgFor the past few weeks it seems that the issues I have had with my legs, arms and back has increased drastically! Now like most of us I was curious as to what could be causing this increase of pain, tingling, burning sensation and pins and needles, so I looked it up on Google. Oh my word looking things up online is almost worse than dealing with what the doctors have to say! Honestly the main reason why what I read online was disturbing is because it was pretty close to what I already suspected, but there really is something about reading it that makes it a little more upsetting.

It has been in my overworked and mildly stressed mind for weeks now that these issues are being caused from new lesions or those that were already present are active now. It shut down the partydoes not seem to matter if I am resting or moving around, the pain does not just go away! This possible lesion party that is going on in my body needs to be shut down! This party is more like a hostile takeover of my ability to live pain-free rather than a happy time with friends having fun like most parties are!

With all of the different issues I have been fighting with for far too long and keeping it from my doctor, today I finally have had enough and sent a message to my doctor to see her recommendations would be. Y’all already know that I completed paperwork last week to hopefully receive MRI assistance, as I do realize that is what is going to be needed, but I am still waiting to hear back about that. Do you just wish these doctors could hear what we are going through, make a true educated assessment and not have to go through the MRI ordeals? I personally think what we are suffering with could be something a true and competent specialist could easily figure out what is causing it and diagnosis the issue.

With all the said, I ended up staying out of work today because of how I was feeling. Even though my legs did not feel stable enough, I did get up when my alarm went off this morning  and made an attempt to try getting ready for work. However, when the short distance from ribbon-e1528247275292.jpgour room to the bathroom felt like 10 miles, I knew anything more would be too hard on my broken body. Crazy thing is I did rest all weekend, but it did not help at all! It really seems like rest hurts, moving hurts and basically anything I do is painful so what do you do when that happens?

I certainly hope y’all had a good start to the week and I hope you are feeling well. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my site today and your comments are always appreciated and encouraged. It may take me a little longer to respond just because it is a difficult day, but I promise I will respond! As always, no matter what I am going through I am sending y’all LOTS of love and comfort!

Love

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Motivational Monday!

monday-have-wonderful-day-butterfly.pngGood morning y’all! I hope you had a fabulous weekend and you are ready to start a new week with a fresh start! I was in so much need for the weekend because I was so incredibly worn out  and in so much pain from working last week. Granted I did not work full-time, but the hours I did work really took a lot out of me. I did however rest over the weekend, so hopefully I will handle this week much better. Now with that said, I hope you like and appreciate my motivational quote for today. Y’all already know I find great pleasure and happiness in great quotes!anything is possible

I hope you are feeling well and I hope you have a great day! I do look forward to reading your comments on this quote. Honestly I do tend to dread Monday because it means going back to work and getting up at 5:30 in the morning, but if I am being positive it is also a fresh start! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Thank you!

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I really want to thank y’all ❤for all of the amazing support you have provided me through my amazing journey of starting this blog! I remember when I started my blog in July 2017, I knew literally nothing about the blogging community! The only thing I knew was I loved❤ to write and I wanted to help others but also really wanted to raise awareness about Multiple Sclerosis. My intentions have always and will always be to encourage and inspire others to live their lives to the fullest, no matter what struggles they are faced with. Everyone experiences some kind of struggle throughout their life time whether it be a chronic illness, knowing what really makes you happy, moving to a new city, career changes, loss of a loved one or anything else that may bring you down. As silly as this may sound, I have always wanted to bring sunshine☀ to the darkest of days for all those in need. 

I really want y’all to know that I am always here to offer support whenever you need it! We may live in different cities and even countries, but I am just an email away! I hope here for youyour weekend has been wonderful and now you are ready to start a new week with a fresh start! Thank you for visiting my site and leaving great comments! I do really enjoy the conversations I have had with so many of you! I honestly view each of you as great friends! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Fight the pain tears!

RTFRDRR_zpsstqz8fkyGood morning y’all! I hope you had a wonderful week and I really hope you have a fabulous weekend! This week was literally the first week in a while I was able to push myself through working the entire week. Despite the unrelenting pain I was feeling, I managed to work all five days for six very painful hours! Who would have ever thought that 30 hours in one week would be so difficult? I mean I used to work over 40 hours and not really struggle that much, it was just what had to be done.

There were days during this week that I did not think I would be able to continue in the day because my pain level was a 13 on the 10 scale, but I had something to prove to myself. I had to prove to no one but myself that I was still strong enough to handle a work day.  There were days that I would be almost in tears on the drive home, but that did not help the pain subside at all. Self pity has painnever really been for me, so I fought the tears vigorously trying to never allow even one tear to fall! I am not saying that tears are a sign of weakness, but I am way too stubborn to allow something like pain to keep me down for too long!

I get so tired of people saying things like, “Why do you not go on disability?” or “If this is too hard for you, go home.” or  “Why do you not just work part-time?” or just the pity stares because they are just making some unnecessary judgment call. It is so true that the only one person truly knows how you feel and that is you. No one can understand how I really feel because they do not have to walk in my shoes. So many speculate, but until they walk in my shoes for one day they have no idea what I am fighting. There are times that words do not do any justice to what I am dealing with, so I find peace in silence.

Thankfully the weekend is here and I have the opportunity to just rest my poor brokenpain makes you stronger body and allow it to do much-needed healing. The only things I plan to do this weekend is rest, write, read and I have a new project that I am so excited to work on which is a bullet journal! I was absent from making a post for a few days because I was just trying to manage my pain. After working 6 hours in a day my back, shoulder to my finger tips and legs were in so much pain I would not have been able to write the way I wanted to. When I create a post I want to be able to write with strength and from my heart which I am not able to do when I hurt too much.

Now my fun project I will be working on, the bullet journal was inspired by a fellow blogger Hannah https://hannahelizasite.wordpress.com/, who has created some fantasticcreativity bullet journals. If you have not already viewed Hannah’s site, you definitely should because she is so incredibly amazing!!! Hannah has been very helpful to me with creating my own bullet journal by giving me advice and answering questions I had! I think this is going to be a creative and fun way to keep track of my illness! Maybe a little creativity will help ease the pain I am feeling and also allow me to find ways to see common trends and maybe correct them!

I appreciate y’all stopping by my site today and do look forward to any comments you may have. I hope you have an amazing and relaxing weekend! As always no matter what I am going through, I am sending you LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

My open letter to negativity

open letter to negativityDear Negativity,

Over the recent years you have tried so hard to invade and control my life, but I refuse to allow you to do so any longer! There are so many individuals with negative attitudes all over the world and why? What good does being angry and negative really do for our mind, heart❤ and soul? I can tell you it does nothing for anyone, all you are doing is causing unnecessary pain and suffering for everyone involved! I am here to give you the notice its overthat I am DONE with you, FOREVER! You are not welcomed in my life, so GOODBYE to you!

I have noticed anytime I listen to the nonsense and pure hatred on the news, my blood pressure elevates to dangerous levels. I do not want to be a 36-year-old woman having a massive heart attack from hearing unpleasant things anytime I view the news. I know that we must keep ourselves aware of what is going on in the world we are living in, but it is quite obvious nothing is going to change for the better anytime soon! I am tired of the lies and destruction that is going on EVERY DAY!

I do feel that it takes more energy to keep you being the negative thoughts in our minds. You destroy all hope for life and happiness. Let me be honest with you, I do engage in the negative thoughts when it comes to my health care being in danger. Currently pre-existing conditions are not compromised with health insurance, but it seems like the powers that be want that to change. So many people’s lives will be put in jeopardy, but it appears that no one really negativitycares! Money is all that really matters to those in charge and that is not the right way to be. Our lives are not a game of chance, all decisions actually have consequences impacting our lives and they can not be undone easily.

Keeping it very real with you negativity, you must take a break from your harmful ways. You must give all of us a break from the anger and hostility in the world. We all deserve to live a happy, pain-free, calm and joyful life without you getting involved at every turn we take. There is so much more to life than constantly worrying about what could or will happen, but we should be thinking about the good there is in our life!

I decided to write this letter to negativity because there really is too much of it in the world and it needs to stop now! We only get one chance at this beautiful gift of life and we should not waste any downloadsecond of it with the evil thoughts negativity creates. I believe if we can share enough positive thoughts and energy, we can push the negative out of this world completely! It may take time, but I feel it can be done! There is strength in a positive mind and we all have that in us!

I do appreciate you visiting my site today and reading this rant like letter to negativity! I am sure it shows from this letter that I am beyond fed up with the negative thoughts at every single turn in life. I am sorry that this post seemed a little negative, but I am trying my best to bring positive to the world! Y’all already know that I believe positive thoughts will bring positive things to our lives! As always, I am sending y’all LOTS of  love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

News from FMLA

1052674_good-evening-sunday-images-wallpapers-of-2015_1024x768_hGood evening y’all! I hope you had a great day and are feeling well. This will be a short post just to give you an update! I had shared with y’all on Friday about my FMLA drama, well I actually have some good news. I did of course have to make a few phone calls, but the end result was positive. Both parts of my FMLA request have been approved and will be good through the end of the year and part of January 2019!! So now if I have any relapses, I am covered by law and I was also approved to have my reduced hours, which of course I had already been doing since November of last year. Even though my nerves were completely shot late Friday afternoon, I guess I knew that things would work out the way they were supposed to. 

After that ordeal with FMLA was all taken care of I have moved onto another issue, dealing with the MRI assistance paperwork. I have completed the necessary paperwork and even typed up a letter addressing any financial questions they will probably have. I will get this paperwork emailed to the company tomorrow morning and then just hope for the best. I am going to look at this with an optimistic mind and believe that things will fall into place because I also know the MRI is needed. After the request is sent I willhope know I have done all I could do and hope they will approve my request for assistance. MRI’s  even with insurance in the United States are insanely expensive. I still wonder why in the world I pay so much for my medical insurance just to have to turn around any pay tons of money for doctor’s appointments and required procedures, it just really does not seem right to me! Maybe someday the US will follow suit with the other developed countries and offer “free” health insurance. I kind of think it would be insane to hold my breath because things have been this way for many years without anyone stepping in to make GOOD changes! 

Thank you so much for visiting my site this evening! I always appreciate you taking the time to read and love reading your comments. I hope y’all have a lovely and relaxing evening. Just think we are almost half way through the week! Remember I am always sending you LOTS❤ of love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤