Frazzled Day!

breakI hope y’all had a good day today! Today was kind of difficult day for me, pain wise. Have you ever felt like the best thing to do is just curl up in a ball and cry? I feel like I am just treading water in the middle of the ocean with no land inside. My doctor wants to order a MRI, but yet she still thinks this is just a “pseudo relapse”. Why go through two hours in a machine and spend all that money, if this is not a real relapse? I do not know about you, but I do not have thousands of dollars to spend on something, when the doctor does not even think I am having a relapse. 

Of course this was all via email, but I asked the nurse, if this is a pseudo relapse what can I do to help this stop? Her answer was very obvious, if this is in fact just a pseudo relapse due to stress, I need to stop stressing about things. It is just not that easy. It is notcurl up like tying your shoe or remembering to breath, it is difficult because life is challenging. Plus, I am trying to maintain life while dealing with incredible pain! I know that no matter how much I stress about a situation, they are all pretty much out of my control. It is not an option for me to just curl up in a ball and let the world keep spinning.

Even though I sometimes feel like I am drowning in life, I know that I have to keep fighting! This is just a difficult time in my life and we all experience them, but we mange to make it through. I just do not know how anymore! I wish that all of life challenges would just disappear and life be easier! Do not get me wrong, I am happy with my life for the most part. I love being able to come home to my husband and cats, but I am not happy break 3living with pain all the time. It really seems like nothing helps it. I will be honest with you too, I do not want to get the MRI. Whether what I am going through is a normal flare up or a pseudo relapses it will end. The only thing that steroids do is make the flare up not last as long. But, steroids do damage to your body and make me very irritated! I really think I would rather quickly learn, how to control and limit my stress level, and just wait this thing out. 

I will say that this blog has been so incredibly helpful for me. Being able to get all my feelings out in writing, and not worry about anyone passing judgment against me is a wonderful feeling. I really hope that all the things that I have been going through and tell you how I am dealing with them are helpful to you. I hope that the struggles and frustrations I am battling, help someone handle them even better than I am. 

I hope that y’all have a good Wednesday! It is the half way point to the weekend! Please comment below and I will respond to you as quickly as I am able. I love the connections I have built and appreciate all the kindness everyone has shown me. I hope you have a great and relaxing evening! Take Care!

Love 2

Love, Alyssa

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17 thoughts on “Frazzled Day!

  1. I’m sorry things are so tough right now! I know what you mean about how it feels so impossible when people say that you need to get your stress under control. Easier said than done!! I also think that a lot of doctors suggest MRIs because it might give them conclusive info one way or the other, but they don’t realize how expensive it is for us as patients.

    I really hope things look better for you soon. {{{Hugs}}}

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    • Thank you so much Holly. I spent most of the day yesterday arguing with the nurse. She is not very nice or understanding! They scheduled an MRI for me on my birthday, at a location that is not close to me. I rescheduled it for October 8th, close to my house. I might still not do it. I asked the nurse if the doctor would write me out of work the rest of the week so I can try to be stress free. We will see. I really appreciate your comment and support! I think doctors go to school all those years and forget how to be compassionate and then they are just morons!

      I hope your day has gone well! Hugs to you and thank you SO much for being so amazing!

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    • Thank you so much! I just really do not see a purpose of getting the MRI. I was really just venting frustrations last night. My husband does not understand why I was so upset yesterday. I hope you have a good day and get plenty of rest. Thank you so much for everything sweetie!

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  2. Hey Alyssa
    It sounds like yesterday was rough for sure.
    It is definitely easier to talk about the need to cut out stress
    instead of actually figuring out how to do it especially when
    you are wondering what your body will do next. Hugs! I know for me
    with my health issues the place I’ve found the best stress relief has been
    mental climbing up into Jesus lap and telling him all about my frustrations and sadness. What do you find helpful for stress relief? May today be better than anticipated!

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    • Thank you so much for your comment Andrea. I am willing to try anything at this point. I need to stop being so darn angry with everything. I don’t think that is helping at all.
      I hope your day has gone well! Again, thank you so much for your support!

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      • I believe anger is a incredibly normal and healthy response to what you are going through! Blocked goals always suck!
        It’s important to vent your anger.
        I’ve lived in and out of the book of Psalm in the Bible for years because the writers are so real with God pouring out their emotions to him all the time.
        One of my favourites has become
        “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
        He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I will not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:5-8
        Are you friend’s with God if so pour it out to Him, if not talk to Him anyway and let Him know you want to know Him. I’d love to share more either way or listen.

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