Category Archives: Relationships

Resentment, Frustrations, & Pains

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Happy Saturday! I hope you had a good week, but I also hope you can enjoy your weekend! Do you have anything planned for the weekend? One thing I know I must do for my sanity this weekend is to recover from the week and try to forget all the negativity that the week impacted me with. I also know Mother’s Day is tomorrow, so I hope everyone can enjoy celebrating all the mothers out there who gave selflessly and loved unconditionally. Of course, I will not be able to see my mother tomorrow, but I will be sure to remind her how much I appreciate her.

Last week was a little overwhelming and extremely exhausting. Unfortunately, I think many of us get so wrapped up in our everyday lives that we forget some of the simplest things in life. When we get frustrated, it can be easy to forget just how much words hurt. I have said this in another post, but the wounds will heal when we are bruised, but the wounds that words inflict are more powerful and long-lasting. When we forget the way another person feels about a particular situation, and the tears causing another person to shed, they are much more intense and hurtful than almost anything else. Simple apologies can become meaningless, and they do not fix the pain felt. This pain can escalate into increased negative emotions and resentment.

Holding onto feelings of resentment is very unhealthy and can lead to an inability to stop thinking about a specific event or situation. The reoccurring thoughts may linger for days, weeks, months, or even years, and eventually may take over your life. For some people, resentment can begin with disappointment or remorse for something or someone that was lost. Those that battle with resentment may harbor anger and seek revenge, or they might feel that justice was not served for something terrible that occurred. Regardless of why someone feels resentment, it only leads to bitterness and additional anger. These are feelings that do not have a positive outcome and may lead to irrefutable harm.

I know I have fallen into these same patterns in life and get frustrated, and then will say things that I do not mean. Of course, I try to not do things like this, but we are only human, and we make mistakes. I never want to cause anyone any harm with harsh and unkind comments because it will only make matters worse. Words and carelessness cause too much pain and it can be almost impossible to overcome them. The only thing I know to do is avoid talking in the heat of the moment or when I am already past the point of frustration and anger. Sometimes, silence is the best course of action.

How do you handle anger? What is your first reaction when you get upset? Do you find it easier to yell in a fit of rage, or do you walk away from the situation, and ignore how you are feeling? I feel it is better and easier to ignore things and walk away from the situation. I know many will not understand, and some professionals would say this is wrong, but I find it to be the best way for me to survive this insane world. Yes, this does mean that I tend to bottle up my feelings and it does cause something like a volcano eruption at times, but it is not often. I do not like confrontation, but even with that said, I will stand up for myself, those who cannot defend themselves, and for what I believe.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope that even if you do not agree with me, I hope you enjoy what I have shared. I am so thankful for the weekend, but after the past few weeks, I think a little more time to recuperate. If you have struggled with feelings of resentment, how did you overcome this? I am looking forward to reading your comments, and I will respond as quickly as possible! I hope you have a wonderful, and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Almost Thanksgiving

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Twas the day before Thanksgiving and many are excited to visit with family with COVID numbers decreasing. This time last year many were isolated due to fears of COVID, which caused most to feel sad about not being able to spend a holiday with their families. Unfortunately, last year we were seeing high numbers of COVID, and no one wanted to get sick or cause their loved ones to get sick. Yes, this year the numbers have decreased, and many have been vaccinated so all we can do now is hope for the best😊! I know that I am not the only one that is tired of hearing about COVID, as we dealt with it for far too many years!

Thanksgiving is a time to remember the things that we are thankful for. Of course, we should show how thankful we are daily, but with tomorrow being Thanksgiving this post is going to be about being thankful! What are a few things you are thankful for? Unfortunately, many of us have lost loved ones and we wish they were with us to celebrate, but we can still honor those we have lost by cherishing their memory. Our lost loved ones would want us all to keep living our lives and be happy while still remembering them😊!

Years ago, my husband and I would try to spend Thanksgiving with my mother. It was a nice time to get together and catch up. This year, my mother is living in another state, and it will be a little different. I am beyond thankful that my mother has found love and happiness and is living her best life. We were talking about having her and her husband come to visit us around Christmas, but I am logical about money and thought it would be a less expensive flight to wait until after Christmas for them to come!

I am very thankful that my husband and I are safe and healthy (besides my having Multiple Sclerosis). We have a wonderful life with our three amazing cats that bring us so much joy. We do terribly miss our cat Chloe whom we had for almost 16 years, but the two little cats we adopted are wonderful and all three cats get along so well. We both find it incredible to watch the three cats interact with one another, the bond they have formed, and the unconditional love they have for each other and us.

Another thing that I am thankful for is my husband’s side of the family. They have all been so welcoming since the day he and I met, and they continue to be the best in-laws any girl could ask for. Family can be unusual and unique, but love is consistent and unconditional.

In a very strange way, I am thankful for my job and my work family. I have not met any of my co-workers in person but have built strong relationships with several of them. The few that I have made a strong connection with are my supervisor and a few of my other co-workers that share the same title as I do. One of the girls loves her cats as much as I love mine, and sadly lost two of hers back-to-back a few months ago. We spend more time at work than we do not at work, so it is nice to be able to work with good people!

Too many people in this world forget how to be thankful for what they have in their lives and then take things for granted. I think that is sad because there are so many people, especially in the United States that do not have a roof over their heads, food on the table, or love in their hearts and are unable to have compassion or understanding for anyone else. We all share the world we are living in and it does not matter the color of someone’s skin, who they love, where they are from or anything else, this world is for us to live and grow in!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post and I look forward to reading your comments and what you are thankful for. I was going to make beef stew for dinner tomorrow, but we are now going to order a turkey dinner to have for Thanksgiving. My husband was looking forward to turkey, so this saves me from cooking! I am still hopeful that everyone around the world can remember what love means and start being kind to everyone! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Promises are a commitment

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Promises no matter how big, small, insignificant, or even who it was made with, should be valued and sacred. When we make a promise, we should strive to uphold and honor whatever we promised. A promise does not always have to be with another person. There have been numerous times in my life I made a promise to myself and even though they may not understand, I have made promises to my cats😊! Unfortunately, many people make empty promises, but maybe they have forgotten what a promise is and what can happen when a promise is broken. Through the rest of this post, I will discuss the true meaning of a promise, what broken promises cause, and what all of this means to me.

If you Google what a promise means it shows the meaning as a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing, or a particular thing will happen. I think our promises are giving our word to another and our word is our bond. It has been suggested that people with strong relationships have higher emotional intelligence and tend to be more likely to stay loyal and true to their commitments. Whether the commitment made is to yourself or someone else, making a promise is a commitment that you will keep your word. It is within commitment that reinforces and solidifies trust.

Breaking a promise can result in an abrupt breakdown of trust. A broken promise can be felt as betrayal and disrespect. Not only does breaking a promise disappoint other people, but it can damage your self-esteem. This can tarnish friendships, destroy marriages, and undermine businesses. Failure to keep your promise leads to declines in personal and professional relationships, creates emotional conflicts, you lose honesty, and your relationships are poisoned with doubts and skepticism. There may be lasting anger towards the one that broke their promise and feelings of shame for trusting the person in the first place.

Relationships are built on trust, so before you make any promises make sure so with the intention of keeping the promise. Trust is not easy to build, and it takes time, but it can be lost in less than a second when there is any betrayal involved. I am doing this post because I have learned through the years who I can count on and who will never let me down, but at the same time, I have learned who does not deserve another second chance. One thing that has helped me is to have low expectations for anyone that has a history of letting me down so that I am not disappointed by the same person over and over again.

We have almost made it through this week with today being Friday eve. I will never know how we made it through this painfully long week, but we almost have. Of course, we all are happy that tomorrow is Friday and then we have the weekend to look forward to, which maybe we have plans or maybe our plans are to just rest and recuperate from the week😊, either way, we are strong, and powerful. I think it is important to remind people of this because it can be easy to forget. I hope this post was beneficial to you and helped you to understand the importance of trust and commitment because those are things no one can take away from us.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week has been great and you are looking forward to the weekend. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Remember to stand up for what you believe in and be true to who you are😊! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, support, comfort, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to deal with manipulative people~

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What does manipulation mean to you? The Webster’s Dictionary shows manipulation to mean a few different things, but for this post, it means, “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one’s advantage”. To your knowledge, has anyone in your life ever tried to manipulate you? If so, how did this make you feel and how did you handle it?

Unfortunately, manipulative people can be found anywhere. These people can be family, friends, co-workers, or even new people in your life. They are not always easy to detect because they can easily lie and deceive you. Although they are skillful in their deceptive and treacherous behaviors, they are careless and selfish with only their benefits in mind. 

Manipulative people know how to find your weaknesses, use them against you, and convince you to do what will benefit their interests. Some may attempt using positive tactics, such as disingenuous compliments and artificial closeness, but they typically use negative means like silent treatment, criticism, and emotional abuse. 

The feelings felt when being manipulated are unpleasant, to say the least. This can easily leave a person feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, and even betrayed. If you have even been on the receiving end of manipulation, please let this be a lesson and never treat another person in this way.

**Please note, I am not a psychologist, mental health professional, or medical professional in any way, but the following tips are what I discovered through research and I hope they will help you end manipulative people before they can hurt and deceive you**

Remember, NO means NO:

Learn how to say “NO” in a firm, calm, and diplomatic way. There is no need to add anything else to the conversation. When we offer any reason, it can just provide ammo for the person to use to get through your defenses and force you to say “yes”. Initially, the manipulative person may become irritated and persistently try to convince you of something other than what you have already stated. Do not allow their determination or pushy behavior to change your mind. Continue to say “NO” and they will eventually give up. 

Do not apologize automatically:

Manipulative people are skillful at turning the tables to make everything be your fault, even when in your heart you know it was not. These types of people are always the victim. Of course, we are all human and it may seem easier to apologize to keep the peace and end the conversation, but this will just provide them with more control. Stand your ground and know manipulative people will never take responsibility for their actions.

Do not react:

Although it is not easy, the more you defend yourself or explain your reasons, the farther you fall into their web of control. Manipulative people know the way you think and will take advantage of it. They will create drama and chaos and the more emotional you become, the calmer they will feel. They want to make you seem like the crazy one and they are sane. No matter how many accusations and criticisms they throw at you, try to walk away and simply say, “I am sorry you feel that way”.

Establish clear boundaries:

Manipulative people are drawn to and prey on people pleasers because their boundaries are often weaker. Boundaries are important in all relationships as lines are clearly drawn. If there is a manipulative person in your life that continues to cross even one of your boundaries, know when it is time to walk away and not engage further. Define ahead of time what the consequences are when the person continues to disrespect you and your boundaries.

Take time to make decisions:

Often a manipulative person will be forceful and demand an answer right away. Try to never cave into their pressure because it only gives them more control. Take as much time as you need to provide them with an answer.

Keep your distance: 

The best and most challenging thing to do is to cut these manipulative people out of your life because they will try to make you feel guilty. Sometimes ignoring the person is easier because they are unaware of what is going on.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information in this post will help you deal with a manipulative person in your life or at least prepare you to handle on if you ever are forced to. Life is not easy, and we always need to do what is best for us because it is our life! If you have dealt with this type of person before, I am interested to read about it and how you handled it or knew it was happening. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thought Filled Sunday

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It is a gloomy, but peaceful Sunday. I am not sure why, but I feel chilly and still feel drained from last week. Of course, weekends are “supposed” to be a time to recuperate and prepare for the week ahead, which I tried doing. Unfortunately, I still failed to catch up on the sleep loss from last week. I guess once we are sleep deprived and have missed out on many hours of sleep, we cannot ever get those hours back and we are forced to keep going, no matter how exhausted we feel. I know the end of the weekend is near and another long week is getting closer, but there is still time left for our weekend.

I am going to continue to try doing at least one post each day this week and hope to be successful in doing so. There are a couple of topics I am working on right now and hope to have at least one completed today. One crucial thing I will be sharing information about is the importance of mental health. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I feel this is critical to try to understand this complicated topic. At this time, I only can speak to the fact that the United States has failed miserably in providing care for individuals suffering from mental health issues.

Another topic I will be writing about is the differences between trust and forgiveness. Trust is important and fragile. It can take years to build trust in another person and seconds to break the trust. Once you lose trust in a relationship, there is no guarantee you can trust that person again. If you can work through the lost trust issues and try forming trust again, it takes time and patience. Even when we decide to forgive someone for their wrongdoings and betrayal, that does not mean trust is automatically replenished.

Another topic I would like to write about is the challenges involved in living with a chronic illness without a cure. Sadly, we have genius scientists and doctors around the world, but so many chronic illnesses still do not have a cure. I know this is not 100% true, but in 2022 there seems to be a steady increase in the numbers of illnesses and hardly any headway to curing these illnesses☹.

People should be trying to progress and evolve with the times, but that is not happening. One thing that continues to grow is hatred and mean behavior. When people do not understand the way another person lives, they become scared and decide the way another person is living is wrong and evil. This is a cowardly way to live in the world. It does not matter how another person lives “their” life, as long as they are not causing harm and they are happy, it should not matter or be the business of anyone else!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your weekend has been filled with everything that makes you happy. I have found it can be complicated to find topics to write about that will be intriguing to everyone, but I am trying. Honestly, some things I write about are to help me process issues in my life. I hope you enjoy the last part of your weekend! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Endless Circle of Change

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Life can be a combination of craziness, fascination, and excitement. I think it is the changes that bring these emotions on. Change can be difficult and keep life interesting, but also a little frustrating when they happen too frequently. I think some people thrive on change, while others are apprehensive about any change. It is not necessarily that I dread or avoid change because I do think there is a lot of change needed, especially for those that do not see others as their equal because of irrational reasons. The only time when I dread change is when I am comfortable and happy with the way things are, and it is not causing other distress.

Speaking of change that I dread, two weeks ago, my position changed at work changed. I will be honest when I first heard my position was changing, I was not happy about it because it was all new to me and it made me nervous. I have been with my company for one year and doing the same thing for the entire year, so I knew what I was doing. Within the first two hours in the new position, I was incredibly happy and adored the person I was shadowing, who is the supervisor. It is amazing how much one person can make things so much better.

During my two weeks working with this amazing, understanding, compassionate, empathetic, honest, and all-around wonderful lady I learned so much. She made my work life the best it has been in years, and I never dreaded clocking into work as I have before. I have always believed that people do not come into our life by accident, but there is a reason. Even though I have never met this person face to face, I feel like I have known her for years. I felt more than 100% comfortable talking to her about anything, whether it be work or personal, which was something I needed.

I think most people only view work as a job and their co-workers as just acquaintances, but I tend to view things differently. Of course, there have been jobs and co-workers in the past that I did not find enjoyable and was just doing what I had to do for a paycheck. However, there have been jobs and co-workers that were more than just a paycheck for me, and I cared deeply for them. I became so close with co-workers in the past that I invited them to my wedding! It is not always easy to make strong connections with co-workers and it can be exceptionally challenging when you work from home, but it can be done with enough time, understanding, and kindness!

Are y’all more accepting of change, no matter how frequent they happen, or are you resistant to change? When you are faced with changes, how do you handle them? I think this can cause uncomfortable situations because we get used to things being the way they are, and we sometimes cannot see the silver lining in any change.

There are MANY changes that need to happen in the world we live in but it appears that many disagree with me on this or they cannot see why change is very needed. What do you think should change in the world today? I mean it is 2021 and there is still far too much hatred Aand discrimination that exists. I used to think we “were” doing better before certain powerful people made it normal, which brought hatred to a much brighter light, but maybe I am naïve and want to see the best in people. Or maybe are now just showing their true colors and it is not a pretty color! Often, I do feel like it is better for our own mental health to keep our expectations low, so the chances of disappointments and letdowns are less likely to occur. I know that is probably a negative way of thinking, but I have been caused too much hurt and sadness from being disappointed by someone I trusted.  

I am sure I am not the only one in the world that feels this way, but we need more people that care about others and have empathy for them. Of course, we might not always know the person that is struggling, but we can have a certain level of understanding and a desire to help those that are going through a tragic time in life. No single person can change the world, but that one person can have a positive impact on another and make at least one day better for them.

Thank you for taking the time to read what I have written today. I would love the opportunity to read what your thoughts are, and I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. I hope you enjoy your weekend, but please do what you can to stay safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Importance of Relationships

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There are numerous aspects of our lives that are crucial for our existence but are often what we neglect. Life can be busy and complicated which can cause us to take things and people for granted. Unfortunately, it takes some people losing what and or who is most important to them to realize what matters the most. If I asked you what or who means the most to you in your life, what would your answer be? Do you ever have to wonder if your partner in the journey of life knows what they mean to you?

Our relationships with our significant others should be valued and cherished. Not only is this special person who we are building our lives with, but they are also our best friend and confidant we go to with every part of our life. There are specific things we owe not only to this person but to ourselves. The several critical areas needed to develop a good and healthy relationship go hand in hand. The following list is in no particular order as they are all of equal importance.

Trust is what keeps a relationship strong. Without trust, a relationship will not be able to flourish and continue to be pure love. When you do not trust your partner the way you should, you will not have peace because you will spend your life with doubts and constant worrying, which is no way to live. Of course, trust is not something that can be earned overnight, but it can be lost in seconds.

Building a love with complete loyalty might be more important than love alone. I do not think that love can truly exist without loyalty because of the core meaning. The full meaning of loyalty is faithfulness to commitments and obligations, such as your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. This is a strong feeling of support, comfort, encouragement, and fidelity.

Open and honest communication is the key to make a relationship possible for success and happiness with both parties. Talking openly and in a manner your partner understands is needed for a favorable outcome. It does not matter if you are angry, happy, or filled with grief we need to be able to share these feelings with our partners. If we are not able to speak openly, clearly, and from the heart with our special person, it can be an ultimate killer in that relationship.

Respect is equally as important as love is in a relationship because when you genuinely love another person, you love them completely and for who they are. A relationship is a bond between two adults that may have a difference of opinions and views, but there is an understanding about these things. Respecting one another is the basic foundation in any healthy relationship. With this understood, it is critical to appreciate your partner for who they are and what they feel about all topics and never diminish their views. We need to know how to maintain boundaries and say things in a manner that does not hurt our partner’s feelings, which is one simple way to show respect.

Relationships can take us on a roller coaster of emotions as we endure many challenges in life. One of the great things is, our partner will be there by our side through good times, bad times, and the most tragic times. This is extremely important for mental health because life does throw so much our way and with a loving partner to offer a lending ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold can be extremely helpful. Our partner in life is the one we share the happy and sad news with and when we are feeling down on our luck this is the one, we want to be there. Our partner in life helps keep the walls from falling around us and is the glue that keeps us together. When you are in a relationship, this is a partnership and a team that stands together with whatever life throws our way!

When you love another person, you do not think twice about giving up something you want to make the other person happy. You want to accommodate the other person’s dreams and desires. If your partner dreams of climbing Mt. Everest, you try your best to make this dream come true even if it is not something you want out of life. That might have been an extreme kind of example, but some things in life need to be considered. This does need to be a mutual part of the relationship because if only one person is continuously compromising it can create negativity, animosity, and hostility, which can cause people to drift apart.

It is a great feeling when you can completely and totally trust your partner. The only thing you MUST do to maintain this is to always be honest with your partner. The smallest of white lies and deception can dismantle the trust built up and destroy a relationship. Not only will dishonesty hurt your partner it will also break the bond shared, all trust, and your relationship as well. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but when we do, we need to accept responsibility for the mistake and sincerely apologize. Of course, our partner might get angry, but if we are honest with our partner, they will appreciate the honesty.

With honesty comes forgiveness, or at least it should. We all want our partners to be honest with us, but we can make this easier for them when we can forgive and forget (or at least try to forget). There are some things in a relationship that can be almost impossible to forgive but want to forget, such as infidelity.

The things I have discussed in this post are not difficult to do when you love the person you are with. The things our partner expects from us is what we should provide to them as well. Those we are in a relationship with are the one person we feel the safest with and they should feel the same way. If you have reservations about your relationship, this is something that needs to be shared with the other person. No one can read minds, so how would we expect them to know how we are feeling unless we share our feelings with them?

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and look forward to reading your amazing comments. I promise to respond to all your comments as quickly as I can. Remember to continue to stay safe and take care of yourself and your family. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa