Been on my mind

Posted on November 15, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

~Living Life With An Unpredictable Illness~

I have decided to write about a few things that have been weighing on my mind lately. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed with life, work, and health concerns. There always seems to be something going on in the world from the political insanity to COVID-19 to mass levels of hatred that is being spread even fast than the virus.

I think after everyone that wanted to vote did so and the counting was finished, there should not be any more talk about it. The voices of SO many American people spoke out and there is going to be a new president starting in January 2021! There is a chance we may have hope now because we are not going to have an immature person that is unable to take accountability for what has happened with this pandemic and is definitely not a leader in the White House.

As for COVID-19, if people would just follow the advice we have all been told for months now, MAYBE there would be more control over the virus by now. Unfortunately, the few times I actually leave my house hardly anyone is wearing a mask. I just do not understand why because I know they must have seen the news and see the numbers on the consistent rise. The virus is NOT a joke. This virus is killing thousands of people every day and it needs to stop.

The hatred that is being spread will never make sense to me. I have said this to y’all multiple times, but I have to say it again, everyone should be treated equally and with respect. A person’s race, color, sex, national origin, sexual orientation, religious following, and anything else should not matter because we ALL have a beating heart and feelings. No one should ever feel shame for who they are, but instead should be proud. The rage and hate that is filling the United States must end because the death, injuries, and fear are things that never should happen.

I will end my little rant now, but I do want to share with y’all a little about what my life has been like living with an unpredictable illness, especially during the pandemic. Most of you, if not all of you are already aware that this is definitely not easy. Of course, there are good days along the way, but then there are also those days that are more grueling than any others. The truth is there are some days it is challenging for me to even get down the stairs to the home office and begin my workday because my legs hurt terribly and they are extremely weak, but I do manage to get there.

Besides the continuous pain I have from my knees down to my toes, I have massive amounts of pain issues from the middle to the lower area of my back. Considering I have been living with Multiple Sclerosis for two decades, I have learned to live with the pain. I guess it is safe to say that I have learned to not just live with the pain, but also accept it as part of my life. I mean there really isn’t another way because I am not going to allow for Multiple Sclerosis to dictate my life as I want to control my own life. Unfortunately, there is not a cure for Multiple Sclerosis yet and I want to live my life to the fullest I possibly can. After all, I did make my late Poppy a promise 20 years ago that I would NEVER give up and I refuse to disappoint him by not keeping that promise!

Another difficult symptom I have been dealing with more lately is dizziness. Previously, the dizzy spells were random and only a few times a year, but recently they have been awful. Last week, I had two dizzy spells within a few days of each other. The second one happened after my husband and I finished dinner, and I told him before I tried to start cleaning that I didn’t feel right. When I tried standing up and I told my husband I was very dizzy, so he started cleaning up for me. I still attempted to try helping and when I thought I had control of the dizziness, I fell in the kitchen. Of course, my husband came running to my side to make sure I was not hurt. The only injuries were a few bruises to my knees and thankfully did not hit my head. Even after sitting on the floor with my husband for a few minutes, I still didn’t feel like I could stand without falling, so my sweet and caring husband carried me into our room.

I want to thank y’all for visiting my site today and reading this post. Even though I know some of you can relate to this, I wish you didn’t have to because I know it isn’t all that fun. On my worst days something that helps me get through them is I can hear my Poppy’s voice saying “No matter what you are going through in life, someone else is always going through something worse. “ He always told me he believed in me and that I was strong enough to get through anything thrown at me and I know he was right!

I would love to read your comments and promise to respond as quickly as I can. I know sometimes it takes me longer to respond, but that is because I have been working no less than 45 hours a week and sometimes more. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Struggles With Dizzy Spells

Posted on June 13, 2020 by Positively Alyssa

My Struggles with Dizzy Spells

Unfortunately, dizziness is a very common issue for those of us living with Multiple Sclerosis. Of course, this doesn’t make the experience any easier and might even just knowing it is common, make matters worse. It could cause anyone to think it will happen often and or it will never end, but it does end in time. Dizziness rarely continues without an end in MS patients.

Dizziness is a condition known also as vertigo. This issue may cause a person to feel off-balanced, lightheaded, or have a sensation either they or their surroundings are spinning. Even though dizziness and vertigo are often thought to be the same and discussed together, they are both very unpleasant, but also different.

Allow me to describe what dizziness and vertigo mean. Dizziness is used to explain a variety of sensations, such as feeling faint, woozy, weak, or unsteady. This can give a false sense you or your surroundings are spinning, which is called vertigo. Vertigo is not necessarily a condition, but it is rather a symptom. Vertigo may not be noticeable, but can also be severe enough to make it difficult to maintain balance, creating a higher fall potential.

Of course, vertigo is common with multiple sclerosis, which is the reason I am so familiar with this symptom, but it also impacts almost 40% of adults in the United States at least once during their lifetime. In general, this is more common in older individuals, but people of any age can be affected.

There are two main types of vertigo, peripheral vertigo which has other types as well, and central vertigo. Peripheral Vertigo is the result of an issue with the inner ear, which is what controls our balance. The first type of peripheral vertigo is known as Benign Paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV). This form is the most common, typically causing short, frequent spells of vertigo. It is believed that small pieces of the anatomical debris break off from the inner ear canal and prompts small hairs lining the inner ear. This process confuses the brain causing the dizziness sensation.

Another type of peripheral vertigo is called Labyrinthitis, which causes dizziness or a sensation of moving when you are perfectly still. An inner ear infection is the common cause of this type of vertigo. There are often other symptoms the will follow the infection, including fever and earache. The infection is in a structure in the inner ear that controls both balance and hearing known as the labyrinth. The infection may be caused by a viral illness such as a cold, flu, or a bacterial ear infection.

Vestibular neuronitis is a type of vertigo that is also known as Vestibular Neuritis. There is an unexpected onset of vertigo that may cause unsteadiness, earache, nausea, and or vomiting. This is normally the result of an infection that spread to the vestibular nerves, which controls our balance. A viral infection, such as a cold or flu will commonly follow.

Meniere’s disease produces unforeseen vertigo that may last up to 24-hours. Vertigo experienced is most often severe causing nausea and vomiting. Meniere’s disease may also cause hearing loss, ringing in the ears, and feeling of fullness n the ears.

Central Vertigo is a clinical condition causing an individual to experience hallucinations involving motion. These hallucinations may be in their surroundings or a feeling of spinning while remaining completely still, this is a result of a dysfunction of the vestibular structures in the central nervous system (CNS).

Vertigo that arises from Central Vertigo is common because of a disease that begins in the central nervous system. Lesions on cranial nerve VIII are common as well.

Vertigo symptoms may be different from person to person. Depending on what is causing the sue, symptoms can range from mild to severe and anything in between. The symptoms of peripheral vertigo and central vertigo have distinct differences which are as follows:

Peripheral Vertigo has signs and symptom that consist of:

*Dizziness

*Feeling you are moving or spinning

*Problems focusing eyes

*Hearing loss in one ear

*Balance troubles

*Ringing in ears

*Sweating

*Nausea or vomiting

Central Vertigo signs and symptoms may consist of:

*Double vision

*Complications swallowing

*Facial paralysis

*Eye movement issues

*Slurred speech

*Weakness in limbs

When you go to your doctor with issues of dizziness, the doctor should do the following ask questions regarding the symptoms and current medications. He should also complete physical exams which include viewing the way you walk and maintain balance and how major nerves of the central nervous system work

Other tests the doctor may order are: eye movement tests, head movement tests, posturography, rotary chair test, and blood work to check for infections.

If you start experiencing dizziness it is best to consult with your physician to find the cause and determine the best treatment plan. Issues with dizziness are not usually life threatening, but it is still best to have a treatment that will best help deal with these issues.

This past Wednesday, I started having massive dizzy spells early in the day. Considering I have dealt with these multiple times during my MS lifetime, I thought it would be best to rest and let it subside on its own. Unfortunately, later in the evening it only got worse causing me to fall twice. I was not injured from these falls thankfully, but it was still alarming. I still was having dizzy spells into Thursday, but they were nowhere near as awful. I am happy to say that today I have been dizzy spell free for almost two days and hope it will stay that way. The only thing I can think is that the heat and humidly is what caused my two days of dizziness. It isn’t even officially summer time, but the southern heat is already pretty bad.

Thank y’all for visiting my site today. I hope you are having a nice, relaxing and safe weekend so far. It leaves me speechless how many people are not taking COVID-19 seriously because where I live the cases are increasing in triple digits now. Of course, I do what I can to stay safe by leaving the house only when necessary and when I do I wear a mask! I would love to read any comments you may have about dizzy spells and if you experience them how you try to manage them. I promise to respond to all comments within 24 hours and hopefully sooner than that! Please know that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Accepting realities!

Posted on April 21, 2019 by Positively Alyssa

Something that I have had a really hard time admitting and accepting is that Multiple Sclerosis is a disability. Whenever I have applied for a job, there is always that annoying question “Do have or have you had a disability.” I mean what kind of BS question is that to ask someone? Of course I want to say “NO”, but Multiple Sclerosis is listed as a disability on the darn application and I can’t falsify anything on an application because that could result in me being disqualified for a position I applied for and want. I think this is so invasive and completely ridiculous, but I guess it is what it is in life!

For some strange reason the words disabled and disability shatter my heart into a million pieces and cause me to feel like a useless failure . I do realize how irrational this may sound, but that is how I have been feeling. It made me incredibly sad when I had a difficult time walking through a store last weekend because my legs and feet were experiencing SO much pain and weakness. All
I wanted to do was cry, but I couldn’t because I view that as letting this illness win the never-ending battle we have been in for years and that will NEVER be an option for me!!

I know I already shared with y’all that I figured out I am gluten-intolerant without the expensive tests a doctor would want to run. It seems like a punishment to have to deal with the issues Multiple Sclerosis comes along with and then add gluten-intolerant to the mix seems quite unfair. I know we all deal with random issues and keep on moving forward because we do not have a choice. I am also very aware that many others deal with SO many other struggles that are far worse than what I am, so I am really not complaining. I am going to share more about this gluten-intolerant situation in a later post.

The truth is, because I am always so exhausted during the week after working 8 hours every day of the week, I often don’t have the energy to write as much as I would like to. I end up with so many random thoughts running around like crazy in my mind; it gets so hard to keep track of them all and have those thoughts come together for a good read and one that I am proud of.

For the past week or so, I have been experiencing an increase in the number of horrible dizzy/black-out spells. I have had these issues happen before, but never so many in just one day. At least 2 days last week, there were several moments when the room went completely dark and there NO were sounds at all, which under other circumstances would be great. There was one time I was talking with a co-worker at her desk about work and all of sudden I felt weak, light-headed, hot as hell and dizzy. Luckily I was standing very close to the wall, which kept me standing upright. It might have been pretty embarrassing if I all of sudden fell to the floor at this new job.

I am not really sure which of these issues are more terrifying; dizzy spells, black-out moments or the combination of the two. Of course I would say the combination of dizziness and black-out would the most terrifying because you are dealing two different disturbing issues at the same time. I have dealt with dizzy spells for so many years now, but I have found ways that help me limit the duration of my dizziness, most of the time at least.

Truthfully my experiences with black-out spells aren’t plentiful in comparison to dizziness, but I have enough sense and knowledge to understand how horribly upsetting they can be. I remember a few years ago there was a period of time when I had a several short black-outs throughout the week, but they weren’t anywhere near as severe as they are now. I am not sure if its stress, lack of sleep, weather changes or something else. The list of possible reasons really could go on and on and on, but I really just wish they were STOP!

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I will never pressure you to leave a comment, but I do encourage your comments if that makes any sense, but I know your thoughts will be amazing. I promise to respond to your comments as quickly as I can! I hope you are feeling well and enjoying your weekend! Sometimes I think the best part of a weekend isn’t getting out and staying busy, but not having any plans at all so there aren’t any time requirements. My days are set in stone during the week with work, which I tend to strongly dislike, but I guess it is just the life of adulthood. I enjoy spending my 2 very short weekend days living in the moment and not doing anything that might cause unnecessary stress. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort and many positive vibes!