Coping with COVID-19 Stress

Learning to cope with the stress of a pandemic

For the first time in 40 years, on June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization declared the start of a flu pandemic. The CDC estimated that between 151,700 and 575,400 people died worldwide from the 2009 H1N1 virus infection during the first year of circulation. This virus was detected first in the United States in April 2009 before quickly spreading throughout the rest of the world.

On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared another pandemic with it being called Coronavirus or COVID-19. Even though COVID-19 was thought to be serious enough for the World Health Organization to declare a pandemic, there were still some leaders that did not heed the warnings and take proper actions.

The same leader or leaders that did not take COVID-19 seriously, spent months saying it was nothing more than a hoax and then claiming it was not even as serious as the normal flu. I find the ignorance and shame it takes to call this deadly virus the Chinese virus simply because it began in China absolutely ridiculous. I mean, no one ever referred to H1N1 as the American virus because it began in the United States, so what gives anyone the right to call COVID-19 the Chinese virus or any other demeaning name they think of?

There is one leader in particular that continues to blame everyone else for the virus but fails to blame the person he sees in the mirror every day for the 129,545 American’s that died because of this virus. Worldwide there have been more than 511,000 people who lost their lives due to COVID-19. We will never know now if only action was taken sooner not as many people would have had to die.

There is no denying the fact that being faced with a pandemic, which has already taken the lives of many, is stressful. Most of us have been overwhelmed with distress and anxiety due to this virus. Although actions such as social distancing are imperative for safety reasons, it can cause additional stress and anxiety from being isolated and lonely.

As we continue undergoing the pandemic of an infectious disease outbreak, there are several other issues that we may experience, including but not limited to the following:

– Fear for your health and the health of your loved ones

– Worry for your financial situation and or job security

– Changes in your sleep and or eating patterns

– Troubles sleeping and or concentrating

– Decline in chronic health problems

– Intensifying issues of mental health issues

– Increased use of tobacco and or alcohol and other substances

Everyone responds to stressful situations differently. Even though we dealt with the H1N1 pandemic back in 2009, I do not remember being as concerned and terrified as I have been with COVID-19. The crazy thing is during 2009, I worked for a hospital system with the Employee Health Department. I had constant interaction with people that tested positive for the flu, but never really worried. Of course, I wore a mask and washed my hands multiple times a day and thankfully never got the flu.

I do realize I am not the only one that remains worried about COVID-10, but I can also understand there is no amount of worrying that will make this situation any easier. Granted even if we lived next door to each other, chances are we wouldn’t be able to see one another and would only be able to offer support virtually. We can do this now and help each other to lessen the massive burdens of stress we are all enduring.

I am going to share a few ideas I discovered that will hopefully help reduce the stress we have all been trying our best to manage.

1. Limit Media Time-

Most people have already proven the ability to practice social distancing to prevent the spreading of COVID-19. With already understanding the importance of social distancing for the good of our health, we should be able to understand why distancing ourselves from the media would be in the best interest of our mental well-being. It seems like the media has 24/7 COVID coverage, which can be beneficial in small doses but can also be very negative causing additional anxiety for those who already had concerns. If you are anything like me (I am so sorry for you), you are already feeling extreme anxiousness. When we are becoming more anxious, we should consider taking a break from all news outlets and the view the news only twice a day at most!

2. Stop Engaging with worry-

Regardless if you are worried about yourself or a loved one contracting the virus or being out of work, the more you focus your attention on the worst-case scenarios, the more anxious and stressed you will feel. Of course, we are not able to stop thoughts from entering our minds, but we can choose to not dwell on those thoughts and instead decide to take action towards solving the problems at hand. I think we are all logical enough to understand the enormous differences between worrying and solving the problems we face. Our mind will often try to bait us into worrying, so we need to avoid taking that bait. Our feelings of anxiety will try baiting us with the many “what if” questions that we need to try avoiding answering because it only leads us down dark and endless roads. During times like these, we need to focus our attention elsewhere and on the more positive aspects. I do know during these stressful times, finding the silver lining might be challenging, but it is there.

3. Do not react to physical symptoms-

Just because you or someone around you coughs does not mean it is because of COVID-19. People have allergies, bronchitis, post-nasal drip, or a common cold and these issues are the much more likely explanation. We all know the seasons can cause numerous issues, so it is best to not assume COVID-19 every time you so much as hear a cough, but being aware of your surroundings and following safety protocols should always be followed. For your mental health and well-being, do not continuously scan your body searching for COVID-19 symptoms. The only things this behavior will do is cause unnecessary worry and intensify our already high anxiety levels.

4. Focus on productivity and newer ways of enjoyment-

Unfortunately, we do not have any control over the crisis the world is experiencing currently and the only thing we can control is our response. How many times in the past were you overloaded with work and maintaining your home, but discovered something new you wanted to try? With how much our everyday lives have changed and we are now living our “new normal”, we might finally through no fault of our own have time for new adventures. We can learn a new skill or fine-tune something we used to do back before life got crazy with work and family. Now is the time to put our attention on creating and accomplishing, instead of the virus and or our employment status.

5. Seize the moment in stress-reducing activities-

There are numerous different things we can try that could help reduce the vast amount of stress we might be experiencing during these trying times. As few ideas may include focusing on the things we are grateful for, exercising our bodies, guided meditation, and yoga are things that may help us relax our minds. Anything we may want to learn can easily be found on YouTube; there are many simple videos to follow along with on just about anything we can think of. Just think, once we are finally past this crisis we will not only have learned something new, but also appreciate all the simple things in life we may have taken for granted before such as dinner out at our favorite restaurant, a night out at the movies, and even something as simple as a haircut.

6. Follow CDC guidelines, but do not go overboard-

Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or sing happy birthday or twinkle, twinkle little star, whichever you prefer. This does not mean washing your hands until they are red and dry. In the event soap and water isn’t available, you can use hand sanitizer containing at least 60% alcohol. Always avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth with unwashed hands. Maintain at least 6 feet between yourself and others outside your home. Wear face covering when around others out in the public. Despite what some might say, it is not necessary to remove all your clothing before entering your home.

7. Maintain a sense of normalcy-

During these crazy times, it may be challenging to continue your day as you normally would with some modifications, so this could require adding a little creativity. Before the pandemic, you may have gone to the gym for your workout, but now you have to work out in your home. Instead of dinner out with friends, maybe you have dinner or drinks by a video platform. Continuing life with a structure to our day and any type of an appearance of normalcy will help reduce any additional anxieties.

8. Show kindness for yourself and others-

During a time of national crisis, it is normal to feel anxious and worried. Remember while you are having these feelings, people you know are probably having the same feelings. Reaching out to family, friends, and neighbors who have been isolated, the same as all the rest of us may need a little boost in their spirits. Sometimes a simple phone call will not only heighten our spirits but also improve the person on the other end of the phone mood as well. If you are currently unemployed because of the pandemic, your new job is to have faith that this storm in life will pass and something new will come along and everything will work out for the best!

I meant to have this post out yesterday, but obviously wasn’t able to. For some unknown reason I had a lack in motivation and also continued getting distracted with many other things. I guess maybe it was the mixture of emotions I am feeling for starting my new job Monday. I am not overly nervous or excited; it is pretty much a good balance between the two. I have been out of work for many months now and honestly I have not ever worked from home on a permanent basis. I know I will be able to handle the work from home status well because I have always been extremely organized and disciplined. I did work in the same industry my work from home job is for several years prior to my husband and I relocated and did very well with it. If I am not mistaken the work I am going to be doing is almost exactly the same, but I have heard from a reliable resource that my new company is far more organized than the company I worked for previously.

Thank you for stopping by my site today and I do hope this information was helpful for you! I did only list 8 possible stress relieving ideas, but I do know there are many more and you probably already have some. I do hope you will share your thoughts on this important topic because it will help anyone that reads this. I hope your week is going well, you are feeling the best you possibly can, and you are continuing to remain safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

10 Types of Motivation

The different types of motivation, which one are you?

Motivation is predominantly our desire and willingness to do something. It is typically our reason or reasons to act or behave in a certain manner. This could be our acts for self-improvement, accomplishing one of our life’s goals, or complete a challenging project we have worked hard on. The motivation we have within us is what helps push us forward towards achieving the goals we set.

The more highly motivated an individual is, the more they will accomplish because they remain focused on what they want to achieve and experience. Highly motivated people pursue their thoughts and create habits that fuel their determination. It offers us guidance with decision making and setting goals to further motivate and excel to the next levels.

Everyone is motivated differently. Before I explain the different types of motivation, do you know what motivates you the most? It can be how you are motivated by setting goals for yourself or self-improvement, the sky is the limit with motivation.

The following are the 10 common types of motivation.

1. Intrinsic Motivation-

People whose motivation is driven by internal feelings and rewards are encouraged by intrinsic motivation. They are not motivated by other’s recognition or from winning awards. This form of motivation is not acting in a selfish manner but can be what guides them in selfless actions. They are pushed and encouraged by their own feelings to do what is right or what is good for the world. Many motivated in this way will go into organizations working with charities or non-profit organizations so they are able to do their part with making a difference in the world and for those that are suffering. These individuals are motivated more by helping other than the money they can make.

2. Extrinsic Motivation-

Those that are influenced by extrinsic motivation yearn for recognition from others. This type of motivation might sound selfish because they are not as clear for others to understand, but they really are not selfish people. There are a number of reasons why people do the things they do throughout their lives. Maybe working at a lower-paying non-profit organization isn’t enough to pay the bills, so even though a person loves what they are doing, they leave that company to go to work a higher paying job. Does that make them selfish? I do not think so because they only want a better and more comfortable quality of life for themselves and their family. It is likely their motivations are both internal and external.

3. Social Motivation-

Humans are naturally social creatures. We all typically have a desire to interrelate and engage with others. This type of motivation covers the common eagerness that most humans have to connect with others, have a sense of acceptance, and to belong to a group. This doesn’t need to be a large group but could be a smaller group. Some may long to connect with humanity on a deep and larger scale because they want to travel, to experience and learn about how others from different cultures live. Some people may want to become closer with family and friends in order to build happy life long memorable experiences and memories. When people belong to a group of others with similar goals and interests, it can help them achieve their goals and continue to move forward.

4. Competency Motivation-

People who are motivated by competency are enticed by processes. This encourages more to be achieved while gaining tactile comprehension and wisdom that can be utilized later. These individuals are not as interested in the finished products as they are in the processes it takes to reach their goals. People that go back to school several times are a good example of competency motivation because their interests are more in the final outcome of their gained knowledge. It also shows competency motivation when people decide to take classes to build on their knowledge from a classroom setting.

5. Expectancy Motivation-

The individuals that are guided by expectancy motivation are driven by how they expect the outcomes of their actions are going to be. Any choices that they make are determined by what the end goal is for the actions they take. They are not typically concerned with the action necessary to make it to their end goal. When management decides to link bonuses to performance, gripping their employees’ expectations of the outcome to encourage them to work harder is an example of expectancy motivation. If management violates their employees’ expectations it can be incredibly demotivating and destroy trust. Another example of expectancy motivation is exercise and weight loss. Unfortunately, if the expectations with exercise and weight loss are not met, a person can become discouraged.

6. Attitude Motivation-

Attitude motivation is similar to social motivation with the difference being that the person is not searching for a group to fit in with. A person is motivated by the ability to influence the ways others think and feel. An individual will wear a smile on their face when out in public despite what they are going through. The person is motivated to practice kindness in the world to ameliorate the attitudes and emotions of those they come into contact with. This form of motivation may help an individual inspire the people around them to spread positivity to those that are in need of it.

7. Arousal Motivation-

The theory behind arousal motivation indicates that people are compelled to carry out actions in order to maintain an optimal level of physiological arousal. Each person as a distinct arousal level that is best for them personally. When arousal levels become lower than our personal optimal level, the person will search for stimulation to increase theirs. When our levels become too high, the person will try finding ways to calm themselves.

Arousal motivation is closely linked to the Yerkes-Dodson Law, in regards to the way our performance is linked to our arousal state. This law indicates that performance increases to a point with physiological or mental arousal and when arousal levels become too high, our performance decreases.

8. Fear Motivation-

Although it might not be a positive experience at some point during our lifetime everyone has acknowledged fear as a motivator. Fear can cause us to take action to avoid or confront our fears. Fear can be a beneficial tool for one’s self, but not as much when it comes to intimidating others. Fear can help us get things accomplished while creating unnecessary enemies likely to discover ways to attack later. When using fear as a motivator it is best to confront and overcome our fears. Each fear we are able to overcome strengthens our abilities to handle challenging situations, overcome and reduce the impact of any future fears.

9. Achievement Motivation-

A theory of achievement motivation explains the desire to achieve goals for the purpose of reaching a peak of brilliance. The downside of this type of motivation is the sheer fear of failure. This person wants to be the best of the best at whatever they do. Alongside possible dark turns, people may begin looking for a short-cut, decide to cheat or engage in other unethical behaviors to obtain excellence. An example of this type of motivation is when the person studies to earn a certification or obtain a new skill by way of training.

10. Incentive Motivation-

It is human nature to desire to be rewarded for a job well done. Incentive motivation is about pursuing palpable rewards and the fulfillment provided. Incentives are a favored way to initiate habits and make personal changes by rewarding one’s self once reaching the goal we set out for.

Discovering what motivates us can be an important and beneficial tool to understand. Once we have this knowledge, there is nothing we can’t achieve. How did you answer my question about your type of motivation at the beginning of this post? After reading the various descriptions of motivation, did your answer change at all? Which type of motivation best describes you?

Thank y’all for visiting my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial and interesting for you. I would love to read your thoughts on this post and what type of motivation best describes you. I do promise to respond to all comments in no more then 24-hours. I found the different types of motivation pretty interesting myself. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and of course staying safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Avoiding Drama

Ways to Avoid Drama

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I personally do not enjoy drama at all! The only drama that is welcomed in my life is from General Hospital, the only soap opera I watch and have watched for many years. I think any other drama is exhausting and completely unnecessary. Many people seem to live and breathe for drama and find life boring when there isn’t any drama in their daily life. I see drama as a useless and immature way to cope with life. Drama only increases the difficult and challenging times and in the end simply isn’t worth it.

With all the other unavoidable hard times we will encounter in life, we all must have a positive and clear mental state of mind. To have a life as stress-free and peaceful as possible, eliminating drama from our lives may be very beneficial, it just involves learning and implementing a few essential skills, which I will share with y’all!

1. Evaluate your circle regularly-

It is obvious, that the people we communicate with and are around most have the greatest impact and influence on our lives and views. It is undeniable the surrounding ourselves with people that enjoy drama and bring a massive amount of it into our lives is unhealthy for our mental state of mind.

It might not be easy to remove people from our lives, especially if they are family, but we can limit our contact with them until they make necessary changes in their life.

When evaluating those we spend the most time with it is important to take our time. There are questions we must ask ourselves, such as are these people positive? Do they cause us to feel good or drained? Do these people bring good or bad in our lives? If we continue answering these questions honestly, we will know what will be best for our happiness in life.

2. Practice the Gray Rock Method-

The gray rock method is a practice used to remove the fascination and entertainment form a narcissist’s life. This is a method used to make someone lose interest in us. You aren’t feeding their desire for drama or attention and they no longer have interest in you.

This method can also work with people who have a lot of drama in their lives, who unintentionally spread it by constantly insisting on the need for emotional support, but never do anything to correct their situation.

The sad truth is, these people typically offer and give next to nothing, but demand our full attention and support. They will make everyone else’s life and problems seem uninteresting and boring and draw all attention back to what they are dealing with, which is probably self-inflicted.

One simple way to handle these individuals is to give evasive answers, never give your opinions, avoid subjects with deep emotions involves, and no matter what they say or do, show no visible emotional reactions. It is also best to not share any personal information that they could use as an angle to work you into drama.

3. Only give advice when asked-

The advice topic can be a touchy situation. No one wants to be told what to do and advice is often unwelcomed unless it was asked for.

If you are the type of person that wants to help others get their lives together, unfortunately, this can be a double-edged sword because even though you only want to help, you can end up trapped in their cycle of drama.

One option for those that simply want to help others is to never advise unless that person asks for it. There are times when we might not fully understand if advice is being requested or they are just wanting to vent, so do not be afraid to ask this person. To avoid being sucked into their drama, make a rule for yourself to only give advice once and only once!

4. Utilize tactful honesty-

People who enjoy drama hate hearing the truth because it clearly diminishes their dramatic situation. It is best to do this tactfully because many people do not listen to things when they are said brutally.

To give tactful honesty, you must remain calm, cool, and collected no matter how much the other person tries to get you to argue. An argument, because you were honest, can be avoided by just not engaging with them. You can also give another tactful response by saying, “You asked for my advice and this was only my opinion.”

“I hate drama”-

People who enjoy drama will show it almost immediately. If someone says to you “I hate drama” or “I do not get along with this person”. Pay close attention before getting too close to them. Both of these phrases show this person has had constant issues with other people before. Many times this person is unaware of their problems with their interactions.

It is common these people continue making bad decisions and surround themselves with toxic people, but you will have the choice to not get too involved.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you and you will be able to distance yourself from any unwanted drama. I would love to read your thoughts on this delicate topic and how you handle it when anyone attempts to bring drama into your life. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Boundaries and how to set them

Do you ever feel trapped within other people’s problems because they constantly lean on you for either advice or help? Do your friends and even family know you will always lend an ear to whatever they are going through, even when it is self-inflicted? How many times has what whoever comes to you with their latest problem or problems did it make you feel an incredible amount of emotional pain that was almost suffocating?

The truth is I have never been able to turn my back on anything that was in distress and needed someone to talk to. It is not in my nature to tell someone I can or do not have time to listen and attempt to help them. Is it even possible to avoid becoming emotionally involved when an individual you care about is struggling? Even though we do always want to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, solicitous, and caring, there can come a time when we need to consider our own well-being over another’s.

I am sure that everyone has heard about the importance of developing personal boundaries and has probably implemented them by now. Even though I am very aware of the fact I need to set boundaries, but I have yet to execute any what-so-ever. I guess the reason I decided to write about boundaries is that I need and want to learn how to set boundaries before losing too much too myself and feeling resentful way too frequently.

We all have our limits to what we are willing and able to cope with, after all, we are only human and unfortunately do not have magical powers. How many times throughout your life have your friends, co-workers, or family pushed far beyond the limits you are willing to deal with? I can say without hesitation that I don’t think I can count the number of times using both my fingers and toes. Once you have been unsuccessful in separating yourself from what others are going through as much as I have, you are going to want to find change. Often the changes we desire to make are not easy and can be outright frustrating, but with enough perseverance anything is possible!

I have heard many people talk about how crucial it is to have boundaries in all of our relationships. With that said, how would you define boundaries? It is my understanding that boundaries are the limits we put in place with other people. These boundaries specify what we find to be both acceptable and unacceptable in the way others behave towards us.

Our capability of knowing our boundaries typically comes from our sense of self-worth or evaluating one’s self in ways that are NOT dependent on anyone else or the feelings others may have towards another. Self-worth is about discovering the natural value of who we are, which helps our awareness of the following:

1. Intellectual Worth which means just like you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions, everyone else is as well.

2. Emotional Worth means you are entitled to your feelings towards any situation, everyone else should be given the same respect.

3. Physical Worth refers to no matter how broad the space is you are entitled to your personal space as do others.

4. Social Worth means just as you are entitled to your friends and the ability to pursue your social activities, so do others.

5. Spiritual Worth means just as you are entitled to your spiritual beliefs, so is everyone else.

To set boundaries it is important to fully understand that four different types which can be defined as the following:

Physical Boundaries are the easiest to define because they are external and seen.

These boundaries can be described as your office, your desk, your computer that is password-protected, and your money in your bank account, your car that is locked, and your body.

Over the years as I got older the one boundary I never had an issue with is my physical boundary. I do not like for people to come too close to me or put their hands on me. Concerning my personal boundaries, before social distancing, I do not want anyone invading the space between me and the length of my arms.

Mental Boundaries are regarding to our personal thoughts.

It is impossible for two people to always agree on everything all of the time. Each individual is entitled to their thoughts, opinions, values, and beliefs. We all want our mental boundaries respected, so we must reciprocate the same respect to others.

I can say that when I am having a conversation with someone that has opposing views than I have, I am stubborn enough to know I will not change my thought process. When discussing something I am extremely passionate about and believe strongly in, I will simply explain my reasoning to the other person and understand everyone is free to have their own beliefs and I will not try changing the other person.

Emotional Boundaries are what gives us the freedom to feel how we feel.

Setting healthy emotional boundaries has two distinct and beneficial purposes. They help prevent us from inflicting others with our emotion and unloading continuously on anyone that will listen, which later we will probably regret doing. Emotional boundaries assist us in managing our emotions in appropriate and healthy ways.

The other aspect of emotional boundaries is they prevent us from taking on and carrying other’s emotions that constantly share. The emotional boundaries we put in place are meant to disconnect our emotions from another person’s emotions, which is where I consistently fail. If someone close to me is struggling and distressed, I want more than anything to be able to help them with love, empathy, and advice. It is painfully difficult accepting that I can’t help or force them to do things I think are mortally right, they are the only person that can help themselves through their problems.

Spiritual Boundaries are protecting our beliefs and regarding to our sense of spirituality.

We are all entitled to believe in what we feel and we should never dismiss what anyone else believes, as no one else should dismiss ours.

Our personal boundaries come in three distinct categories which are defined as:

1. Healthy Boundaries meaning not only does a person value their opinion, but also do not compromise their values for anyone else. They are also welcoming and accepting when others say “NO” to them.

2. Rigid Boundaries are when a person avoids both intimate and has very few close relationships. Typically never asks for any help and often seems to be detached. Those with rigid boundaries distance themselves from others to avoid rejection.

3. Porous Boundaries are when individuals share too much personal information. Not only do those with this form of boundaries have a hard time saying “NO” to other’s requests, but they also become overly consumed with the problems other people are going through. These individuals tolerate abuse and or being disrespected.

If you already have established boundaries in your relationships, that is great and I applaud you for that. On the other hand, if you are like me and want to set boundaries in place for your well-being, I am glad that I am not alone and we can tackle this together. I have found various ways to implement boundaries, but I figure it is best to start easy. I am going to share the four simple steps for straight-forward boundaries.

1. Understand and recognize your limits-

Clearly describe your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries with all your relationships first. Take the time to scrutinize previous experiences when you felt unsettled, irritated, bitter, resentful, and or disappointed. It is reasonable the reason we felt this way was a result of your limits being violated.

2. Be assertive-

Taking time to create and explain your boundaries is a step in the right direction, but maintaining follow-through is also critical. When someone invades our boundaries the only they are going to know is if we are direct and assertive with that them.

3. Practice makes perfect-

Being assertive may not come naturally to you because you are worried people will view you as mean and or rude. When we confirm what our boundaries are it shows that you value yourself, your needs, and your feelings more than what others think. It does not indicate you are being rude or even mean when you are assertive; it actually means you are being honest and fair with the other person.

4. If all else fails, delete, ignore, and move on-

Of course, we need to voice what our boundaries are first and then follow an action plan. You do need to tie up any loose ends and given family, friends, co-workers, and whoever else about the cease to any promises previously made, and you no longer owe them anything more. Once you asserted yourself and made things crystal clear, if they choose to violate your boundaries, it is perfectly acceptable to simply ignore them.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you. Life is short and being constantly consumed with everyone else’s problems can be draining. I am hoping that developing boundaries, I will be less stressed and frustrated with the problems I hear about. I would love it if you have any other advice for anyone that wants to develop boundaries, you will share your knowledge! I hope your weekend is going well and you are staying very safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Bright Side of Negative Feelings

We have all heard that there is power in positive thinking, which I have always believed to be true. Even though we need to try finding the positive aspects of most situations we encounter in life, sometimes is still can be nearly impossible to not recognize and acknowledge our negative feelings. Do you think it is possible to maintain a positive mindset most of the time, but that it also isn’t healthy to ignore our negative feelings?

In this post I am going to share with you some critical reasons why we should not ignore our negative feelings when they appear, but instead embrace them.

1. Negative feelings can be viewed as a powerful warning method-

What does our fear do for us? Fear warns us of imminent danger and urges us to take action. Our negative feelings basically do the same and are acting as an alarm that signals possible harm in some form. This hard could be physical, emotional, or mental depending on what is going on in life.

We all pay attention when we feel fear, so why shouldn’t we embrace negative feelings? We should ask ourselves the question, why we are experiencing these negative emotions? Is there something we should be avoiding? Does this mean we should be taking another path in life?

2. Negative feelings are trying to tell us that something is NOT right-

I have just explained how our negative feelings notify us of possible danger, but they also can be warning that something in our life isn’t right. Maybe it is something in our relationship, our career, or something with our health, or even something we continue to put off has issues that we need to address. Often we should not view our negative feelings as merely a nuisance, but more as a good friend that has our best interests in mind.

3. Negative emotions can encourage us to take beneficial actions-

Unfortunately, we have all received bad news that caused us sadness. When this happens, what is the first thing we do? It is human nature to feel down and even feel sorry for ourselves. Instead of ignoring these negative feelings, it might be better to embrace them. Acknowledge the feelings we are experiencing and allow them to help us find a logical solution.

We should not deny or apologize for our negative emotions. Nor should we allow these negative emotions to paralyze us or overwhelm us. We are allowed to feel what we feel, whenever we feel what we feel and never dismiss those emotions. We are feeling how we feel for a reason and maybe we should explore them.

4. Negative feelings allow us to welcome and appreciate the good life has to offer-

How would you feel if everything in life went the same and was predictable? If every moment of our life was always happy and content, there would not be any negative feelings that would make the positive feelings more appreciated when they occur. All of us need to understand that no matter how much pain and distress we may deal with, life will also provide us with happiness and comfort.

5. Negative feelings provide us confirmation of what is important-

A well-founded signal you have come into your core values is when you have negative feelings. Maybe you violated one of your values or you failed to follow through with a promise and you are feeling guilty for this. Negative feelings are commonly a crucial assertion that we are honoring our beliefs, values, and views.

6. Negative feelings invite us to contemplate-

Allowing ourselves to have negative feelings allows us the opportunity to think deeply about things we did not give adequate time to previously. It is possible, we need to consider our health practices or spending habits or maybe something we have continued putting off for a long period, but are all things that need to be dealt with. Embracing and acknowledging our negative feelings may not be easy, but they are needed for our mental, physical, and emotional health.

7. Negative feelings can help protect us when we feel overburden-

Many of us tend to overdo things and push ourselves beyond the limits we are aware of. When we do over extend ourselves, we will hopefully begin feeling negative feelings such as frustration and irritability. These feelings are our body’s way to telling us to start facing ourselves and start limiting the amount of additional commitments we take on. We must listen to our inner voice and pay attention to the warnings our negative feelings are trying to notify us of.

8. Negative feelings offer healing-

We do not need to have thick skin or be referred to as overly sensitive; we just need to take time to heal when someone else causes us pain. If another person does or says something hurtful, it is very common to have negative feelings regarding the situation. Denying our feelings, no matter how negative they maybe will not speed up our healing process. This means it might be beneficial to use those negative feelings to promote our healing and take the time needed to do so without rushing ourselves.

9. Negative feelings will not allow a denial of reality-

It is important we know and understand that denying our feelings will not be a successful way to get over our negative feelings. Pretending something doesn’t bother us will never make that lie be the truth and could end up causing more issues and pain for the future. When something or someone causes us pain, it is perfectly fine to grieve the loss and disappointment. The only true way to get over disappointment and or hurt is the face the problem, mend the wounds, and move on with the life you deserve.

I hope the information in this post was beneficial for you, especially if you are going through a difficult time. It is never easy to face what has caused us pain, but we will be better off in the long run if we do so. I am sure there are several other ways that would be helpful and would love to read any comments you may have. The entire world is dealing with hard times right now and we all need to help and support one another. Until times get a little easier being kind, compassionate, and empathetic to what others are dealing is extremely important. I also wanted to say, please do not take this post as a negative, but to just say it is okay to have negative feelings because we are only human!

Thank you so much for visiting my site today. I hope you had a lovely week and you will enjoy a safe and happy weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Let It Go Friday!

downloadHappy Friday y’all! I hope your week went well and you are looking forward to another weekend. There have been many changes to how we spend our weekends, but I do hope your weekend will be full of happiness and relaxation. I know it is a long weekend and many things have reopened, but I still do not have any plans. Maybe I am taking it too far, but I do not feel at all safe out in the public yet. I find it very disrespectful when at a grocery store or gas station and people still do not understand social distancing. 

Our weeks are not always spent doing what we want or even have a passion for. The weeks twenty-years-from-now-you-will-be-more-disappointed-by-the-things-that-you-didnt-do-than-by-the-ones-you-did-domark-twaincan also cause many negative emotions and frustrations, but I do believe letting go of that negative energy before entering the weekend is very beneficial for our physical and mental health. I mean why allow those negative feelings to follow us into a weekend that is supposed to be about us, what we love and enjoy, and our families? I found the quote I am sharing with y’all today encouraging and motivating with letting go of things that do not really matter and I hope it will provide you with something similar. No pressure at all of course, but I would love to read what your thoughts about We are all onethis quote and if it offered some help with letting go of negativity,

Thank you so much for visiting my site today! I do always appreciate your continued support and enjoy the chats we can have. I hope your week was pleasant, you have a stress-free day and a lovely weekend. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Breakthrough the Barriers of Social Distancing

92101563_1597447863745824_3525203181490511669_nIt was not that long ago when simply going to the grocery store did not involve the fear of a new and potentially deadly virus. For the past several months we have been faced with a world-wide pandemic, stay at home orders, businesses closing their doors (hopefully temporarily), job losses, widespread fear for our health, mask, and gloves for protection, social distancing, and many other issues that have caused panic. Truthfully, I can’t even remember the last day I wasn’t terrified to leave the house or when social distancing was not practiced by most people and then getting frustrated when some do not respect the social distancing.

I feel confident saying that while I do understand the reasons behind social distancing, it Screen-Shot-2020-04-01-at-2.23.33-PMhas been very challenging and isolating. Granted, I do have my husband and two cats home with me (24/7), but let’s face it being home all the time with no changes can make anyone get irritable. I do love my husband and cats dearly, but sometimes I need a break.

I have found some ideas for activities that could help heighten our moods and encourage Boost-your-moodmotivation.

  1. Express and stay in touch-

Acts of kindness should always be something we try doing. With all everyone around the world is dealing with today a simple email or handwritten note to someone you know could offer a positive boost to their day. Think about memorable previous bosses or co-workers and send them a note. I know some previous bosses we were glad to be rid of, but I know I have at least one that I still miss and really enjoyed working with her. This person’s name is Mary Close Hall and she really was amazing! Offer to go to the grocery store or pharmacy for an elderly neighbor that struggles with getting out of the house during normal times. While in a store, either for yourself or a neighbor, thank those on the frontline and essential workers for what they are doing for the community.

  1. Stay connected digitally-Resources+2

Today’s technology has had extensive changes over the years. Millions of people around the world already rely heavily on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The social media platforms offer positive ways to stay connected virtually, while we continue to practice social distancing. People from various locations can interact with one another face-to-face, well a better way to say it is screen-to-screen. The possibilities are endless to stay connected safely with family and friends.

  1. Discover your creativeness-

creativenessTasks that are repetitious such as knitting or crocheting can create a meditative state of mind and relaxation in the body and brain. These meditative and relaxed feelings have also been known to decrease worry and negative thoughts. You do not need to have or run out and buy needles, crochet hooks, and of yarn there are many other forms or art that can reduce anxiety and even be uplifting for our moods.

  1. Learn a new language-language-2

While we are stuck at home with very limited interaction with others, we can be getting prepared for future travels. There are numerous apps and YouTube videos to help teach us a foreign language. We can make the most of the times of isolation and be thankful for the time we had to learn something new!

  1. Become Cultured-

WHAT'S_YOUR_LIFE_EXPERIENCES_SCORE-_(2)Now is a great time to explore art institutions and cultural events virtually. Back when things were not so complicated, did you ever think of or find the time to visit a museum virtually? I know that it never crossed my mind to expand my worldly knowledge from my living room, but now we all can try this. Google is a fantastic tool that can act as our tour guide to these exciting new experiences.

  1. Passion Projects-passion-project_4x

Is there anything you have wanted to try, but never found the time to do so? Maybe you want to write a short story, or a book, or learn more about your ancestry. Now is a good time to pursue these projects you have thought about for so long. While we are stuck at home and feeling beginning to feel anxious, diving into a long-term project can offer us a sense of purpose.

  1. Attend a virtual class or event-

physicalMany local attractions and studios are becoming creative and offering options for enjoyable free and digital experiences. I am listing a few free options for you and your family to check out and hope you enjoy them!

https://www.facebook.com/philadelphiazoo/

https://www.amrevmuseum.org/education-museum/students-and-teachers/virtual-field-trip

https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en&tab=pop

https://www.instagram.com/artwellphilly/

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/travel/a31784720/best-virtual-tours/

These are just a few examples of fun things we are able to do from the safety of our we are in this togetherhomes. Do you have any other suggestions of things we are able to do from home? I would love to read your thoughts and any advice you might have!

downloadThank you for visiting my site today. I hope your day is going well and you are feeling the best you can. Please continue to stay safe and take care of your health! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

All we can learn from cats…

Beautiful girl ChloeMy husband and I have had one of our precious cats, Chloe, for almost 15 years. It is so hard to believe our sweet little girl is going to be 15 in June. Chloe has brought us so much happiness, laughter, and love ❤. As a kitten, Chloe would climb the artificial Let you live heretree we had in our apartment. She has always been an indoor cat, so she has never had an opportunity to climb a real tree which is good because I do not think she ever came down from the artificial tree on her own. She has always been a rather small cat and in recent years continues being tiny partially due to having early-stage kidney disease.

After Chloe was an only child for many years and my husband’s grandmother on his father’s side passed away, we took in his late grandmother’s cat ❤. I had always wanted Chloe to have a playmate, so we had two female cats and my poor husband was outnumbered by Sweet Lexiwomen! Unfortunately, we were unsure of his grandmother’s cat’s name but kept calling her “little grey” because she was a sweet little grey cat. We did end up changing her name to Lexi, for her official name. Her name was inspired by the TV show “Grey’s Anatomy”. Lexi was very unique Sisterly Loveand loving in her ways. Chloe and Lexi did not play with each other much but they seemed to have an understanding and were often seen napping close together ❤. Lexi brought us so much joy in the 5 or so years we had her. Sadly, our sweet Lexi had cancer that took her from us way too soon.

The loss of Lexi was heartbreaking for the three of us. It was terribly sad seeing Chloe continue to look for Lexi. We did everything we could to keep her as comfortable as possible by feeding her through a syringe, blankets around the house for her to rest on, and lots of love. The night before Lexi passed away, I was up with her all night. She must losshave cried every hour on the hour and I tried consoling her best I could. I had to work the following day and went to work on no sleep at all. When I called home to check in on her, my husband told me she wasn’t doing well and had shallow breathing. I immediately explained to my boss what was going on and that I had to leave. I called the veterinary while I raced home and explained what was going on and that I had to change the appointment we had scheduled for the next day to put her to sleep within the next hour. It was a rainy day, but I drove as fast as I could to get home. Unfortunately, I did not make it home in time and she was already gone when I walked in the door.

After losing Lexi, I told my husband I could never have another cat because it is too Sleepy Sundanceupsetting when anything happens to them. Funny thing it wasn’t even a year later when my mother-in-law called to tell us about a Himalayan cat that was in a foster home because his owner passed away and he needed a good home. I wasn’t as excited as I should have been because there was no replacing Lexi, but we did go see the orphan cat. My husband and I immediately fell in love ❤ with the sweet and beautiful little boy. It was impossible to not love this cat because even though he was scared, he was so sweet! We ended up going home to talk and think about it but went back the following day to bring him home with us.

Best FriendsWe introduced Chloe and her new brother, Sundance (he came with the name, his previous owner was an artist and had a unique style) slowly. Sundance stayed in our guest room for a few days so the two could get used to the smell of each other through the closed door. Of course, Chloe was used to Lexi, but we did not want Chloe and Sundance to fight. Sundance did come from a home with other cats and took well to Chloe instantly. Anytime Chloe would act irritable and swing her little paw at him, Sundance would surrender and roll over onto his back. Chloe and Sundance are now inseparable ❤. If you see one of them, it is guaranteed the other is close by!Chloe and Sundance

There is so much we can learn from cats. For starters cats, especially our two amazing cats, share such unconditional love ❤. They are completely non-judgmental and never judge someone based on petty things humans form opinions based on. There will never be a cat that will automatically dislike someone based on the color of their skin, national origin, religious beliefs, or sexual preference. I can’t say an animal would not dislike someone based on their sex though. Our sweet Sundance loves ❤ my husband now, but it took time because he seems afraid of all other men.

life-lessons-we-can-learn-from-cats-the-last-krystallosWe can learn to relax more than we do now and even take random naps when we can. I can speak only from our two cats that choose various and sometimes unusual places they find comfortable to rest in. Like my husband, cats are nocturnal creatures. They are very active during the night and can sleep soundly during the daytime hours. I am the direct opposite of my husband and cats, but everything works beautifully for us!

Even though Chloe and Sundance have a ton of toys they love empty boxes. Currently, we have a rather large and long box they enjoy playing hide and seek. The first time I witnessed their game Chloe’s attention was fixated on a small opening and then proceeded to bat at it, then Sundance camepurring flying out. Being able to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer us is a wonderful thing we can learn from cats!

Beginning almost immediately, kittens do not require to be taught self-love ❤ because they already completely and fully love themselves. In many ways kittens are similar to human children, they both love what they find fun and gives them positive feelings. Children and kittens can be incredibly tenacious and slightly demanding (unless they are my very demanding cats!) until they get what they want. With their incessant determination and persistence, Chloe and Sundance would be brilliant salesmen!

self loveI think everyone could learn about self-love ❤ from cats. The love a cat has for themselves is a lifetime devotion they are always true to. If you have ever been around a cat, even for only 10 minutes, you have witnessed how much pride they take in grooming and bathing themselves. Our older cat, Chloe, cleans and grooms herself many times throughout the day. Sundance, our younger cat not only keeps himself nice and clean but also enjoys bathing Chloe, which she tolerates for a little while until she has had enough. She does tell him the first few times to stop in a nice kitty way, but if he doesn’t stop she hits multiple times and he runs off.

Cats tend to live a free and candid life. They can go from sleeping to playing in less than5747-Robert-A-Heinlein-Quote-Women-and-cats-will-do-as-they-please-and 10 seconds. Cats do not play out their days and respond in a way that feels right at any given time, which can range anywhere from exploring the unknown to attacking the first toy they see and anything in between.

My husband and I treat our two cats very well and we consider them part of our family. We do not and will not have human children, but we do love and treat our cats as our children ❤. Our cats are very spoiled and are never left without anything they want or need. Both of our cats have health conditions, as I said earlier Chloe has early-stage kidney disease and Sundance has asthma. I never knew that animals can adfc05c92641e557d33a2036bd825356pretty much get anything humans can. Between special kidney food for Chloe and the medications for Sundance, they are not cheap. Chloe and Sundance amaze me every day because I can see the love ❤ in their eyes when they look at me or my husband. Anyone that says cats do not hold a grudge has obviously never met Chloe because if I ever do something, either unintentional or intentionally it could be a few hours later, but she will get her downloadrevenge.

Thank you for visiting my site today! I hope you enjoyed the information provided and of course the fabulous pictures of my two cats! They loved helping me write this post, but they would like to take full credit for every word! I would love to know what you thought about what we can learn from a cat and promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Living a Minimalist Lifestyle

b2bf61c49baf8b9f9f9cbe41ccf92fb6What does minimalism mean? Where did the term arise from? What are the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a minimalist? Why should we become a minimalist and how do we become one? These are all great questions to have and I am going to do my best to provide thorough and clear answers to each of them.

Most of us have heard about minimalism, but how much do we really know? Sure, maybe we have a basic understanding of what is meant, but there is so much that is now completely known or understood.

For starters, minimalism has been around for decades, but in distant derivations. Even though religious groups, such as Buddhism to Christianity, did not refer to their rejection of possessions to gain spiritual focus and knowledge in the same way, that was the beginning of minimalism as we know it today. Both Buddhist monks and Catholic nuns are much more extreme examples of minimalism that has occurred in our history.

Minimalism was also used in music and art and design during the 50’s and 60’s. minimalism-for-musiciansWith music, it entailed removing all but the instruments. Then when used with home design and architecture, there were whitewashed images with just a simple element as a focal point.

Living a minimalist lifestyle in 2020 means you appreciate yourself more than material things. It is about making logical decisions involving what is needed, instead of always what you want. The thought process behind minimalism is rather than purchase inexpensive items simply because you want them; you purchase what is needed without focusing on the costs.

minimialist lifestyleIt seems as though we are spending more time working to make more money, only to spend what we have made on things we do not really need. Many of our possessions do not have any meaning to them and only add clutter to our lives. All possessions do is cause distractions from what our purpose in life is, all we should be appreciative for, and what brings us joy in life. After all, it is not our possessions that define who we are in life, the person we are in life go far deeper than material items.

There are numerous benefits to living a minimalist life which includes the following:

  1. Decluttering helps people breathe easier

Simply clearing things from drawers, closets, basements, attics, and spare rooms will open up space in our homes. It is important to not free up space just to turn around and buy more things that are not needed. By getting rid of things you are freeing yourself of any burdens that may be weighing you down and holding you back from a simple life.

  1. Living a minimalist life allows for refocusingMinimalist-lifestyle-Is-it-worth-being-a-minimalist-cover-1024x576

Too many material things end up causing our focus to be scattered around. All the material things create worry about working enough to pay for everything and spending unnecessary time searching for or where to put everything in our homes. When there isn’t as much to go through and bills are becoming fewer, being able to focus our time and energy on more important things such as family and doing what brings us joy will increase.

  1. Less material things will equal more money

36e7d404ad0d932ba67339a1e0f724e4As we eliminate material items and unnecessary luxuries from our homes, others are opened up. All the money that was spent on buying and maintaining them and always having the best will be in your account instead of the store’s account. When we have less material things, we are spending less and there is more money that can pay off debts, which will free up even more money for us.

  1. Living a minimalist life frees up time

When we are spending less, we do not need to work as much, which frees up time. This also doesn’t require as much time dealing with the extra things we have because we will not have as much. This will allow us to focus time on what we need and use the extra time we have on what we enjoy doing.

  1. A minimalist life give us more energyminimalism-saves-money-buried

When we are not overly consumed with clutter, all the energy we would be using to deal with it can be used for other pastimes. The people that don’t have the burdens that come along with a materialistic lifestyle tend to result in being happier and healthier.

Life as a minimalist doesn’t work for everyone because we are all unique in our own ways. Everything in life has its advantages and disadvantages. I just described the reasons a minimalist life can be beneficial, so now I am going to explain the reasons a minimalism lifestyle can be viewed as a disadvantage.

  1. Until a minimalist lifestyle is explained to friends and acquaintances, you might be f817f5ed8377987cdcfbdaa5c2af324bviewed a weird or strange.
  2. While you go through everything you have and begin getting rid of things, you might accidentally get rid of something you need later on.
  3. You might be ready to get rid of many things and begin to live a minimalist lifestyle, but your significant other might not be as willing, which could cause arguments between the two of you.
  4. A minimalist lifestyle when children are involved could have a child thinking you are a cruel parent. This is only because they have friends whose parents have not adopted the same lifestyle; therefore the child has all the latest toys and electronics.
  5. If you enjoy shopping and getting the newest electronics becoming a minimalist may be a little challenging at first.

Lifestyle changes can be challenging, but some can be very rewarding and beneficial. The following steps might make becoming a minimalist a little easier for you.

  1. Write your goals downgoals

No one has ever said living as a minimalist is easy, so you have to remain persistently focused on your goals. Write down the problems you have experienced, which are the motives behind the lifestyle change. Maybe your reasons are too much debt or the inability to save money or you are under too much stress, whatever your reasons are write them down and this can be what keeps you motivated for the change.

  1. Donate to others

It can be very rewarding when we have a chance to donate our unnecessary things to

7118130fe9bdc4f0c7cd6a922f1839d3

others that actually need them. If we do not need something we currently possess, so many people that are in need, so why not help others?

  1. Declutter your life and home

A cluttered home and mind creates too much stress, where as a clear mind and home can be very relaxing. You can start decluttering your home one room at a time and one day everything will be clear and open.

  1. Simplify your style103916-marcus-aurelius-quote-remember-that-very-little-is-needed-to-make-e1562975549485

Unless you are working in the fashion industry, you probably do not need lots of watches, shoes (well we all need shoes!), jewelry, and clothing. We all know how much is too much, so we also know what we should rid ourselves from. The clothes or shoes we do not need could be helpful to someone else.

  1. Implement frugal living

simple-life-is-a-happy-life-think-positive-words-30752286A frugal life and minimalist life pretty much go hand and hand. A frugal life is not only about living in a meaningful way, but also about living within your means. These lifestyles allow for us to save more, pay-off more debts, plan for exciting vacations, and can eliminate stresses from our lives.

I hope the information within this post was beneficial for you. Again, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone but could be worth trying. I do enjoy going through my clothes periodically and donating them to Good Will because if something I use to wear could help someone else get a job that will help them provide for their family that is worth it to me. I do know there are many other reasons a minimalist life can be beneficial and other ways to begin the lifestyle, but want to write y’all a book! If you movementhave heard or learned other ways, I would encourage you to share your thoughts. I do enjoy reading what you think about the various topics I have shared and also learn so much from y’all.

I hope your weekend has started off great and you are staying as safe as you can. Wearing masks can be uncomfortable, but wouldn’t you rather downloada little discomfort and not become infected with the deadly virus spreading around the country? I also want to thank you for visiting my site today. I do appreciate your continued support. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

All one comment….

think-before-speakingI find it amazing how a person can make what to them might be a simple comment, but the person hearing the words perceives it as one of the most remarkable compliments they have heard in a while. Today, I was messaging back and forth with my father. Indeed, my father and I do not talk much, but we have been messaging each other more often lately. Anyways, the words I read made me cry and not tears of sadness, but tears of pure joy. My father told me I get my temper, sense of humor (which at times might more of a sick sense of humor), my caring heart, and love for writing from my late grandfather, Poppy.

I think I have made it perfectly clear before that I completely and totally idolized my tribute-2Poppy. He was a man with a heart and saw everyone equally. I don’t think this man knew hate of any kind. I think it is safe to say that in my eyes he could do NO wrong and pretty much hung the moon and stars.

All these years later, I can still remember being in the car with him and listening to him sing. There was a song that I loved hearing him sing. Of course, that song isn’t the same type of music I listen to normally, but it serves as a nice reminder of him. The song is, “Seven Spanish Angels”, by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson. Now days if I hear this song, within the first two seconds I am in tears because I still can hear my Poppy singing the song.

funeral-poems-for-grandpa-4-1024x555Just knowing that some of who I am today is a result of someone I still love so much and idolize means more than words can ever begin to describe. I feel confident saying that anyone privileged enough to know my Poppy, would agree with me when I say he was one of the most caring, gracious, humble, generous, charismatic, thoughtful, dedicated, amazing, and loving people that has ever walked this earth. I know there are several other great ways to describe my Poppy, but I do not believe there is enough paper in the world to cover all the ways.

I will never forget the day, September 9, 2013, when I received the call from my uncle. poppys-graveThrough no fault of his own, until this say he was my favorite uncle, called to tell me that my Poppy had passed away. For a moment, all the air was completely sucked out of me. People were walking past me happily talking on their cellphone as if nothing had changed and their world was still spinning fine, when mine had just come to an incredibly abrupt stop. Through heartbreak and tears I kindly asked if anyone had notified my father yet. When he said my father was not contacted yet, I offered to be the one to call him.

At this point, it has been a little while Alyssa's HTC One X 2574since I had spoken to my father because of hurt and anger for missing my wedding. It was not ever going to be an easy conversation, but I wanted him to hear the devastating news from someone kind and emotional, not from social media. I did not think the loss of someone as special as my Poppy should ever hit social media first. I don’t know if this was with the help of the newest angel in Heaven or not, but while I was telling my father what happened he was also seeing it on Facebook. The picture above is many years old of my Poppy, father, and myself.

Poppy PicMy beloved, strong, courageous, compassionate, and sarcastic Poppy fought against prostate cancer for too many months for a man as wonderful as him, but he did so with determination. During his battle he never once uttered the words, “Why me?”, instead he was thankful for his family, friends, other golf enthusiasts and colleagues at Country Club he spent decades at. This was a man that only counted his blessings in life and viewed the difficult times as a challenge, not a failure.

Another comment my father made today was anytime I question myself, all I needed to do is look towards my husband and know he loves ❤ me more than anyone else could. I know he said this was because I was uncertain about myself because I know I am sometimes not easy to deal with. The reason I can be difficult is because I never give up on something I believe strongly in. I will argue my point endlessly and never once change my mind. I know this can be frustrating for some people, but anyone that really knows, understands, and loves me, fully knows how to deal with my incredibly stubborn ways. I also tend to become overly passionate when I feel someone has been mistreated and will not give up until the person is treated better and receives a proper apology that they accept. I guess maybe that is another trait I get 337811-I-Miss-Your-Everythingfrom my Poppy! 

The hard truth is, I never got the chance to say, “Good bye or see you later” to my Poppy ❤. I guess not many people ever do get that kind of chance and there is never a good time to lose someone you care so deeply for, but it sadly happens. I am not even sure my Poppy ❤ knows how much I love him or how much I treasured him. To this day I still look up to him and hope that I am making him proud of me. During the difficult and painful times in my life, I still talk to him and must believe he is watching over me. Shortly after he passed away and I was back at work, I would sit outside for lunch and I swear the same butterfly flew around me each day. I think that butterfly was my dear sweet Poppy ❤ letting me know he was okay and I would be as well. These days anytime I am having a hard time in life and see a butterfly, I think it is my Poppy checking on me. He is always in my heart, mind, and soul silently reminding me he will always be by my side.tribute-1

This post was heavily influenced by the comments my father ❤ made to me today. I thought it was good enough to share the overwhelming feelings I had and wanted to know if anything like this has happened to you. Sometimes, people can say one small thing to you during hard times and it can make an enormous difference. I guess this is why I have said several times before everything we say and do can affect another person in ways we would never have thought of. Sometimes, words that seem insignificant are the words that mean everything to someone else.

largeI would really love ❤ to be able to read of a time you have experienced something like this. Any small words you heard or read that made you smile and actually made your day! I also want to thank you for visiting my site today and reading this very emotional post. I honestly did not make it until the end without many tears. I hope your week is going well and you are feeling the best you possibly can. Whatever you do for the rest of the week, please do all you can to stay safe. This virus has not let up yet and can still be very dangerous. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤