Thankfulness Week

~Day One For Thankfulness Week~

Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a nice, relaxing, and safe weekend! I am going to do things a little different this week in honor of Thanksgiving. I do strongly believe we should all acknowledge what we are thankful for every day and not just the week of Thanksgiving, which I am sure we already do, but I am going to share with y’all each day of this week two things I am thankful for and hope you will join me in doing this. What my plan is to share two things I am thankful for and why, but would like to know what you are thankful for as well!

I am very thankful for the loving family that I have. Each member of my family is special in their own way and I love them for it! My family is supportive of what I do and how I live my life, which is a great feeling. Everyone knows and understands that I basically have NO immune system, so they understand the reasons why I am as terrified as I am about COVID. Lord knows, my husband is extremely protective of me and does everything he can to keep me safe!

I am also thankful for my job that allows for me to work from the safety of my home! The online training was challenging, but over the past few months I have learned so much and have become pretty darn good at this job. With the uncertainty of COVID in the entire country, I know I would not be able to earn a decent living and be safe if it were not for this job.

Now like I said, I would love to be able to read what you are thankful for! I am not pressuring you to participate, but will encourage you to play along with me this week! I think it would be interesting to read the different things you are thankful for and see what we might have in common!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I hope your week begins great and continues to get better throughout the week! It will be a short week, but the short weeks always feel so much longer! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

September Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month

Spread Love & Not Hate

I have said it before, but I will say it again, life is anything but easy. Currently, we are under trying times and it has been painfully difficult for many months now. NO, COVID-19 has not gone away or anywhere close to it as the president claimed it would. With times being extremely difficult for every single person around the world, I think it is very important to bring some attention to something heartbreaking for many people. September is “Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month”

Suicide is not something that is discussed often because many people do not what they can or should say. Unfortunately, this is something that will impact families and friends long after the tragic loss of their loved ones. Those that are left behind will have to go through the rest of their lives wondering what they could have done differently, but the answers will vary between each person.

I am going to be sharing some very chilling, melancholy, and distressing information regarding this very delicate topic. Over 44,000 Americans each year take their own lives by committing suicide. With that being said, on average on person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes. Due to the global pandemic of COVID-19, there has already been a serious escalation in the number of suicides.

Sadly to say, suicide is the 4th leading cause of death in people between the ages of 18 and 65. Another incredibly sad and heart-wrenching statistic is for every death by suicide, there are approximately 25 suicide attempts. Men are four times more at risk than women to commit suicide and their most common way to do so is by use of firearms. The suicide rate for men is highest in those that are 75 and older. Men that are battling with substance usage are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide.

Unfortunately, more teens die by suicide than cancer, the flu, and AIDS combined. It is the 2nd leading cause of death in people between the age of 10 and 34. It is thought that 80% of teens who die by suicide showed some warning signs before taking their life, but some can keep their thoughts, pain, and plans hidden very well. That being said, 90% of teens who die by suicide have some type of mental health issue or issues.

While it is 2020 and we should be more evolved and accepting by now, but regrettably many are still not. LGBTQIA youth have four times greater of a chance to attempting suicide than other young people. Also, LGBTQIA individuals with unaccepting families are eight times more likely to attempt suicide than those that have more accepting, evolved, and understanding families.

It may not be easy or even always clear, but some warning signs could be alarming, urgent, and possibly a cry for help. The signs include, but are not limited to:

1.Talking about wanting to die

2 Searching or looking for a way to kill one’s self

3.Talking about not having any reason to live

4.Giving away valuable/prized possessions

5.Acting or displaying new anxiousness or agitation

6.Talking about being in unbearable pain

7.Sleeping too little or too much

8.Withdrawing or becoming isolated

9.Increased use of alcohol and or drugs

10.Showing rage and or seeking revenge

11.Displaying extreme mood swings

12.Talking about being a burden to others

13.Exhibiting new daring or risk-taking behaviors

14.Showing a lack of interest for any plans for the future

Helping someone with suicidal thoughts can be challenging and painful, but it may be possible that you could save their life. Several things have been suggested by professionals, which include the following:

Ask: It is completely natural to feel fear when doing this, but do not ever hesitate to come out and ASK the person if they think about dying or killing themselves. By simply asking them, know you are not putting the thoughts in their mind and it will not make them any more likely to attempt suicide.

Listen: Try starting a conversation with the person and just be an ear to LISTEN without passing any judgments. You need to only show that you care and are there for them. Produce a safe space for them to share their feelings and vent freely. One thing that will be important, do not swear to secrecy because, with this type of situation, you might not be able to.

Stay: Once you have started a conversation with the person and they have opened up to you, do not leave that person alone. Make sure you STAY with them or at least make sure they are in a private and secure space with another trustworthy and caring person until you can get further assistance and guidance.

Secure: If you have reason to believe or suspect the person may harm themselves, take them seriously. Be sure you REMOVE any, and all objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 and follow their guidance!

***CALL 911 if self-harm seems like an immediate need***

Many years ago, I worked at a children’s hospital. During my years at the children’s hospital, I worked with numerous children that attempted suicide. I would take the time to talk with the child and give them a chance to talk openly about what was causing them the troubles. Of course, I was not a nurse, therapist, or physician and was only a nursing assistant who could show compassion to a troubled teenager. Normally, I was the person that would ride with the child from the hospital to the mental health facility because it was required by law and I wanted to be there for the child. It was difficult listening to the child’s painful stories, but I was able to offer them some friendly and nonjudgmental advice. Some of these children were abused by a relative, others had a recent break-up, and others were troubled by bullies. Often times, children do not feel like they can open up to their parents and have no one they can trust to talk to, which is extremely sad. Children have a hopefully long and great life ahead of them and need role models and people they can trust. These young people are the future and should be encouraged instead of degraded and harmed.

I had a friend in high school that had a tragic and difficult life. She was able to open up to me about some of it and I had firsthand experience with much of what she said. This friend did have her first child our last year in high school, but she remained strong during this. Many years later after her husband and father of her children was murdered, one of her children committed suicide. I know this haunts her to this day and that breaks my heart. I wish I had been able to be there for her during these times, but I was already living 900 miles away and was only able to offer her support through messages and phone calls.

Typically, my posts are a lot more positive and uplifting than this one, but all the information in this post is crucial and needed to be shared. I am so sorry if this is something any of you have experienced and hope your heart is healing from the sadness and that you will be able to help another that goes through something as awful as losing a loved on to suicide. Times around the world are the hardest they have been in decades so now is a time to pay close attention to people that we care about. I believe we all need to stand together and support one another during these troubling times because it is the only way we will make it through with any sanity we have left.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are doing well, your weekend has been going well and you are staying safe. Y’all already know that I am a very sensitive person, so you will not be surprised that this subject hurts my heart. This is a time we need to support others and spread love and not hate! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

A Tribute To My Angel Above

**Until We Meet Again**

I hope today is simply just another Wednesday in September for y’all and does not hold any unpleasant and heartbreaking memories. Unfortunately, this is a day that changed my entire life and even my worldly views on life, empathy, love, compassion, sympathy, equality, death, and so much more. Many times, traumatizing events we deal with in life can have a long-lasting impact on the rest of our life and it can be incredibly emotional and painful.

It was late in the afternoon on this day seven years ago when my entire world was flipped upside down and changed forever. My husband and I were preparing for my birthday and our anniversary vacation; the two are back to back. I was just leaving the tanning salon and was still in the parking lot when my phone rang. I do not speak much to my family on either side and really only talked with my grandfather, so when the call from my uncle came, it was very unusual. I did always adore my uncle, but life always got in the way.

This call completely and totally shook my heart, mind, and soul deep within its core. I heard the words my uncle spoke so gently, but I do not think his words registered right away because he was telling me that my dear sweet grandfather passed away. In my mind my grandfather, whom I called Poppy hung the moon and walked on water and even though I knew he was battling with cancer, he was supposed to live forever. I could not then and still struggle with imagining a world without him in it because he made everything, including the world so much better.

Over the years, my Poppy taught me so much and for that I am eternally thankful and a better person because of him. He was a man that treated everyone fairly and equally. He never judged a person based on the color of their skin or who they loved because love was really all that matter and skin color never mattered. This is the way things should be and for some reason in 2020 still are not.

A great memory of my Poppy that I have is the car rides with him. Normally, this was when he picked me up from my mother and we would visit the family. There was a song he would sing along with and I loved the sound of his beautiful and unique voice. The song he would sing along with was “Seven Spanish Angels” by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson.www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ&ab_channel=WillieNelsonVEVO This song will never be sang the same or feel the same as it did when my Poppy sang it. I hope this link works right so y’all can hear the song!

Something I will always remember is a little more than one month before my birthday, my Poppy called to wish me a happy birthday. At the time it did not dawn on me, but I think he somehow he knew he was not going to still be around for my birthday and wanted to do what he had done for 32 years and wish me a happy birthday. I wish I realized this back then, but it is too late now. I just hope he never doubted how much I loved and admired him and always will.

Although we lived in different states and were miles apart, I loved our phone calls we would have on my drive home from work. I would tell him about my day and ask about his. He would tell me the latest information about the rest of the family and I would ask him to send them my love, which I know he always did. I miss his voice and the reassuring way he had to make even the worst situations bearable.

I know seven years is a long time and I have had many years to heal, but the loss still feels so fresh. Losing someone as special and loving as my Poppy leaves a hole in your heart and it does not mend easily.

My only hope is that my Poppy and my angel watching over me is proud of the person I am today. I hope he is proud of how immensely passionate I am and how much I will defend my beliefs. I am strong and stand by what I feel strongly about and do not back down to anyone and never allow anyone to sway my thoughts in their direction. I feel the need to stand up for people that are not able to stand up for themselves, which is something I know he would be proud of. Like my Poppy, I treat others equally and with respect. I have never and never will judge another based on things that do not matter like skin color, religious beliefs, race, those they love or anything else because in my eyes we are all human-beings. Love is important and it does not matter who you love as long as you love and not hate.

I will spend the rest of my life doing what I think Poppy would have done. I will always strive to make him proud so when we meet again he will welcome me with open arms and never stop being proud of who I am and what I stand for.

Thank you for visiting my site today. This was probably one of the most difficult posts I have written in a while because I miss my Poppy more than words can ever explain. He was a hero, an idol, someone you could always count on when others disappointed you, and he was a loving man with heart of gold. I do appreciate you taking the time to read this and hope you have a good day. Please remember to stay safe always. Also, please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

**A Little Extra Optimism**

**Smiles & Happiness Make A Huge Difference**

While we are all still learning ways to deal with and accept what our “new normal” is, it can continue causing so many fears and stress. No one knows when or even if COVID-19 will come to an end allowing us to live comfortably and not wear a mask anytime we leave our homes. Of course, masks are suffocating and not comfortable, especially when the temperature is pushing 100 degrees outside, but a little discomfort can possibly save our lives.

In the meantime, as we are waiting for things to settle down, it is important to try remembering the positive aspects of life. So, let’s make a list of things we enjoy and some of our favorite things. It has been so long, some of us may have forgotten what it means to enjoy and favorite means. Enjoy means either to take delight or pleasure in or possess and benefit from. Favorite means preferred before all others of the same kind.

Now that we have had a little reminder, what are five things you enjoy? This can be anything you can think of, the sky is the limit! To get this started I will share my list of five things I enjoy the most.

1. Listening to music because this helps me relax and even helps my massive stress issues.

2. Of course, I enjoy writing. This is something that has always helped me to process and let go of my emotions, both positive and negative.

3. My husband probably will not appreciate me sharing this, but he will be okay. I enjoy watching General Hospital at night with my husband while we eat our dinner.

4. Even though my two sweet cats can get rather obnoxious at times, I do enjoy time with them fighting over my lap. Our older cat has an overwhelming need to sleep almost on my head every night; we actually end up sharing the pillow.

5. I enjoy quiet and drama-free evenings and weekends at home with my husband and our cats. Many people would say this is boring, but there have never been any troubles or issues caused by times like this.

We were already reminded about what favorite means, so now comes the questions! What are some of your favorite books, authors, movies, music, TV shows, places to travel, colors, meals, etc.? I guess this can be a little tricky because some favorites can go hand and hand, but we can have a little fun with it or at least I hope we can. I am going to share my five favorite types of music/musicians and my five favorite books/authors. I am hoping y’all will share some of yours as well because I think it will be fun and interesting.

Truthfully, I love most music. I am not a huge fan of country music though because it always makes me sad and that isn’t what I want when relaxing listening to music. So five of my favorite bands are the following:

1. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus because they will always hold a special place in my heart considering my husband proposed on stage with them before they sang “Your Guardian Angel”.

2. Radical Something because no matter how awful my mood is, their songs can make me smile and be calm. Their music has beach vibes, probably because they are in California!

3. Simple Plan because they have a calming, chill, and relaxing vibes. This band is from the country my husband and I have talked about moving to, Canada. Depending on the outcome of the upcoming election the move may happen sooner rather than later.

4. Taking things a little old school, but yet still current is Fall Out Boy. This is a rock band that started off playing in their garage back in Chicago Illinois before making it to the big time. My husband and I have enjoyed this band for many years now!

5. The Pretty Wreckless is an amazing rock band that took me a while to warm up to, but that was because my husband pushed them on me too much. I am a very stubborn person and when something is pushed on me too much, I will fight to hate whatever it is. This band is from NYC and has several songs that can make anyone smile because the singer is singing what most of us are thinking and feeling.

To save y’all a little time from reading too much, the only other favorites I am going to share is who my three favorite authors are and some of my favorite books by the author. My top three favorite authors are James Patterson, Nicholas Sparks, and Kelly Rimmer.

James Patterson has written many fantastic books and continues doing so to this day. I find him and his books very addictive and almost impossible to put down once you begin. Patterson’s series “The Women’s Murder Club” is one of the BEST series I have ever read. There have been 20 books released so far, with the 21st set to be released in 2021and I have read 19 of them. I had to slow down reading these books because it was torture when I finished a book and had to wait for the next one.

Another book I read by Patterson that was outside The Women’s Murder Club series was “Filthy Rich”. The incredible details he wrote in this book had me despising Jeffrey Epstein long before he was even arrested because it is a horrible and jaw-dropping story. Honestly, after reading the book I thought Patterson was supporting that disgusting and appalling perverted man causing me to not want to read another book from James Patterson. Thankfully, I later saw an interview James Patterson did and it was crystal clear he did not and never would support anyone like Epstein.

While James Patterson is an astonishing and enthralling author, Nicholas Sparks is a captivating author on a whole different level and style. Since Nicholas Sparks began his writing career in the mid- ‘90’s with his first book, “The Notebook” that was not only a best-seller but even turned into a hit movie later. He continued his incredible journey writing many other fabulous and beautiful love stories that could bring tears to anyone’s eyes. A few more of his books that were brilliant consist of Two by Two, Every Breath, The Best of Me, The Last Song, and The Choice, but there are many others that would be very worth reading!

Kelly Rimmer is a truly spectacular author from the beautiful country, Australia. I have read all seven of her books that were released in the United States and cannot wait for her to release another. Kelly has an engaging and engrossing way to keep her readers completely mesmerized. She adds an emotional twist to the stories she writes. Kelly has a natural ability to make you feel every emotion each character is feeling.

The seven books that I have read of Kelly’s were so amazing they would be worth reading a second time. The books I have read were: Unexpected, Before I Let You Go, Suspending Reality, A Mother’s Confession, Me Without You, When I Lost You, and The Secret Daughter.

First, I want to thank you for visiting my site today! I hope your weekend has started off well and you are staying safe. Weekends are our time to rest and recuperate from a long week. I hope you are enjoying this post and you will share some of your favorite things and things you enjoy because I think it will be fun to see how much a like of different we are all. I admire differences because it allows for us to learn, grow, and build relationships!

I am looking forward to reading more of your posts this weekend and learning more about you if you are able to make a comment! Whatever the rest of your weekend holds, please do everything you can to stay safe! I hope y’all never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~July COVID-19 Information~

~The Truth About COVID-19~

I have honestly debated with myself for the past week if I should or shouldn’t write this because I want to steer clear of negativity as much as I possibly can. I must have started and stopped writing this at least 15 times, but I do feel this information is crucial and really needs to be shared as much as possible for the safety of human lives. There have already been so many people that lost their lives because of this virus and things urgently need to change.

My husband is a wonderful man and has always been very supportive of my writing and dreams of doing more with it. For the first time when I explained to him earlier in the week what I was planning to write about he actually deterred me from writing anything negative about the president. Let me clarify this, he did not deter me from writing negatively about the president because he supports him because like myself he doesn’t support that man at all, he just did not want anything I wrote about to negatively impact my life in any way. What I am actually writing about today is so much bigger and more important than a simple man like the president. I am writing about what most people worldwide have lived in fear of for the past 6 months, COVID-19.

There have been many false claims made and a vast amount of important information that was either not shared or it has been forgotten or it was not taken seriously. When the president of a county isn’t taking something seriously, none of his followers/supporters are going to take it seriously either, which in the United States where I live is an enormous problem.

If you are like me and you do not care much for politics, think about what you would think if your favorite musician was not taking this virus seriously. Would you follow how that person behaved or would you think the musician was out of their mind? Now think about how people you know and care for are behaving towards this virus. Do you have family or friends that are not viewing this virus seriously? Thankfully even though my mother supports the president she does understand the severity of the situation we are in here in the United States.

The COVID-19 numbers in the state I live in are steadily increasing without fail. I tend to think it is because I live in a mostly Republican supporting state with only a few exceptions. Recently, I spoke to one of our neighbors at the mailbox and she flat out said that she thinks the virus is a hoax. Of course, I always keep 6 feet distance between myself and anyone else that doesn’t live in my household.

The many things I find irritating when I do have to leave my house, which is not often, is that so many people do not respect others with social distancing and hardly anyone wears a mask. I just do not understand, except that neither the president nor vice president wears a mask. Nonetheless, people should appreciate the science involved and listen to the experts.

Recently, I saw that the United States has been the worst-affected country with more than 3.6 million diagnosed cases and at least 139,960 deaths. It is terrifying how many innocent or uneducated people have had to lose their lives because of this awful virus. How many people need to die before everyone will do what is necessary? It is easy to wear a mask and if they do not have a mask, wear some kind of face covering. It is even easier and doesn’t cost a thing, practice social distancing. Even in the south where I live in the United States, stores have markings on the ground indicating where 6 feet is, but yet many people still can’t maintain the 6 feet that is required.

I think y’all know by now that I am a very emotional person, which explains why it is hard for me to not breakdown in tears when I hear about someone that lost someone they love to COVID-19. It is the people’s life that has forever changed because they have to learn to live without someone they love.

Some spouses have lost the person they promised to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of their lives. Some parents have lost their child or maybe even grandchildren. How can anyone see this and not understand the urgency of wearing a mask, practice social distancing, disinfect everything they touch, and or wash their hands multiple times a day?

Most of you that have read my posts also know that I have Multiple Sclerosis and that I take a medication that weakens my immune system which means that I am at a very high risk of contracting the virus that is causing so much fear and stress throughout the entire world.

I am thankful for the job that allows me to work in the safety of my home. I am thankful for my husband that always supports me and does his best to protect me. I am thankful that my mother and stepfather are aware and staying safe from the virus. I am thankful for the intelligent people the United States has, even if those people are not always listened to because without these people we would not know what we do know about the dangers this virus has the potential of.

I want to ask each and every one of you to stay safe and follow all the safety protocols that we have been made aware of. I completely understand how uncomfortable it is to wear a mask, but I also think a little discomfort is worth your life and safety. No matter what everyone else is doing or how different you might look, please always wear a mask when you leave your home!

I know parts of this post might have seemed a little negative, but I hope you were able to see the positive within my words. I want to thank you for taking the time to read this information and I hope you will always stay safe! I worry about my family, friends, fellow bloggers, all humankind, and animals because animals can get COVID-19 just like we all can.

I hope y’all are having a lovely and safe weekend. I would love to read your comments on the information I have provided. I promise to respond as quickly as I can and within no more than 24 hours. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Let It Go Friday!

Let Go Of Your Negative Energy & Enjoy Your Life!

Happy Friday y’all! How was your week? This was my second week at my new job and things are still going very well and I must say that I am working with some pretty great people! It is definitely different being able to work from home. I mean, I do not need to make my hair or makeup look nice and do not even have to wear uncomfortable work clothes. I will be honest with y’all, I do still put makeup on, always let my hair air dry, and wear comfortable loose clothing! I LOVE it!

Now that we have made it to another Friday and the weekend is near, it is time to let go of any negative energy we might be feeling. Negative energy doesn’t need to be work related, maybe you had a disagreement with a friend or family member. Disagreements can happen with anyone, which is one reason it is best not discuss sensitive subjects with family, such as religion and politics! Regardless of what negative feelings you are having, it is best to let them go and not carry them into the weekend with you! Weekends are supposed to be relaxing and happy! I do hope the quote I am sharing today will help you release any unpleasant feelings you are experiencing and you are able to have a wonderful and safe weekend!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I hope you enjoyed the quote that I shared and I do look forward to reading what you thought about it! I hope the last day of the week is a good one for you and you are looking forward to the weekend. Please, whatever you do over the weekend, stay safe by following all safety measures. I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Coping with COVID-19 Stress

Learning to cope with the stress of a pandemic

For the first time in 40 years, on June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization declared the start of a flu pandemic. The CDC estimated that between 151,700 and 575,400 people died worldwide from the 2009 H1N1 virus infection during the first year of circulation. This virus was detected first in the United States in April 2009 before quickly spreading throughout the rest of the world.

On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared another pandemic with it being called Coronavirus or COVID-19. Even though COVID-19 was thought to be serious enough for the World Health Organization to declare a pandemic, there were still some leaders that did not heed the warnings and take proper actions.

The same leader or leaders that did not take COVID-19 seriously, spent months saying it was nothing more than a hoax and then claiming it was not even as serious as the normal flu. I find the ignorance and shame it takes to call this deadly virus the Chinese virus simply because it began in China absolutely ridiculous. I mean, no one ever referred to H1N1 as the American virus because it began in the United States, so what gives anyone the right to call COVID-19 the Chinese virus or any other demeaning name they think of?

There is one leader in particular that continues to blame everyone else for the virus but fails to blame the person he sees in the mirror every day for the 129,545 American’s that died because of this virus. Worldwide there have been more than 511,000 people who lost their lives due to COVID-19. We will never know now if only action was taken sooner not as many people would have had to die.

There is no denying the fact that being faced with a pandemic, which has already taken the lives of many, is stressful. Most of us have been overwhelmed with distress and anxiety due to this virus. Although actions such as social distancing are imperative for safety reasons, it can cause additional stress and anxiety from being isolated and lonely.

As we continue undergoing the pandemic of an infectious disease outbreak, there are several other issues that we may experience, including but not limited to the following:

– Fear for your health and the health of your loved ones

– Worry for your financial situation and or job security

– Changes in your sleep and or eating patterns

– Troubles sleeping and or concentrating

– Decline in chronic health problems

– Intensifying issues of mental health issues

– Increased use of tobacco and or alcohol and other substances

Everyone responds to stressful situations differently. Even though we dealt with the H1N1 pandemic back in 2009, I do not remember being as concerned and terrified as I have been with COVID-19. The crazy thing is during 2009, I worked for a hospital system with the Employee Health Department. I had constant interaction with people that tested positive for the flu, but never really worried. Of course, I wore a mask and washed my hands multiple times a day and thankfully never got the flu.

I do realize I am not the only one that remains worried about COVID-10, but I can also understand there is no amount of worrying that will make this situation any easier. Granted even if we lived next door to each other, chances are we wouldn’t be able to see one another and would only be able to offer support virtually. We can do this now and help each other to lessen the massive burdens of stress we are all enduring.

I am going to share a few ideas I discovered that will hopefully help reduce the stress we have all been trying our best to manage.

1. Limit Media Time-

Most people have already proven the ability to practice social distancing to prevent the spreading of COVID-19. With already understanding the importance of social distancing for the good of our health, we should be able to understand why distancing ourselves from the media would be in the best interest of our mental well-being. It seems like the media has 24/7 COVID coverage, which can be beneficial in small doses but can also be very negative causing additional anxiety for those who already had concerns. If you are anything like me (I am so sorry for you), you are already feeling extreme anxiousness. When we are becoming more anxious, we should consider taking a break from all news outlets and the view the news only twice a day at most!

2. Stop Engaging with worry-

Regardless if you are worried about yourself or a loved one contracting the virus or being out of work, the more you focus your attention on the worst-case scenarios, the more anxious and stressed you will feel. Of course, we are not able to stop thoughts from entering our minds, but we can choose to not dwell on those thoughts and instead decide to take action towards solving the problems at hand. I think we are all logical enough to understand the enormous differences between worrying and solving the problems we face. Our mind will often try to bait us into worrying, so we need to avoid taking that bait. Our feelings of anxiety will try baiting us with the many “what if” questions that we need to try avoiding answering because it only leads us down dark and endless roads. During times like these, we need to focus our attention elsewhere and on the more positive aspects. I do know during these stressful times, finding the silver lining might be challenging, but it is there.

3. Do not react to physical symptoms-

Just because you or someone around you coughs does not mean it is because of COVID-19. People have allergies, bronchitis, post-nasal drip, or a common cold and these issues are the much more likely explanation. We all know the seasons can cause numerous issues, so it is best to not assume COVID-19 every time you so much as hear a cough, but being aware of your surroundings and following safety protocols should always be followed. For your mental health and well-being, do not continuously scan your body searching for COVID-19 symptoms. The only things this behavior will do is cause unnecessary worry and intensify our already high anxiety levels.

4. Focus on productivity and newer ways of enjoyment-

Unfortunately, we do not have any control over the crisis the world is experiencing currently and the only thing we can control is our response. How many times in the past were you overloaded with work and maintaining your home, but discovered something new you wanted to try? With how much our everyday lives have changed and we are now living our “new normal”, we might finally through no fault of our own have time for new adventures. We can learn a new skill or fine-tune something we used to do back before life got crazy with work and family. Now is the time to put our attention on creating and accomplishing, instead of the virus and or our employment status.

5. Seize the moment in stress-reducing activities-

There are numerous different things we can try that could help reduce the vast amount of stress we might be experiencing during these trying times. As few ideas may include focusing on the things we are grateful for, exercising our bodies, guided meditation, and yoga are things that may help us relax our minds. Anything we may want to learn can easily be found on YouTube; there are many simple videos to follow along with on just about anything we can think of. Just think, once we are finally past this crisis we will not only have learned something new, but also appreciate all the simple things in life we may have taken for granted before such as dinner out at our favorite restaurant, a night out at the movies, and even something as simple as a haircut.

6. Follow CDC guidelines, but do not go overboard-

Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or sing happy birthday or twinkle, twinkle little star, whichever you prefer. This does not mean washing your hands until they are red and dry. In the event soap and water isn’t available, you can use hand sanitizer containing at least 60% alcohol. Always avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth with unwashed hands. Maintain at least 6 feet between yourself and others outside your home. Wear face covering when around others out in the public. Despite what some might say, it is not necessary to remove all your clothing before entering your home.

7. Maintain a sense of normalcy-

During these crazy times, it may be challenging to continue your day as you normally would with some modifications, so this could require adding a little creativity. Before the pandemic, you may have gone to the gym for your workout, but now you have to work out in your home. Instead of dinner out with friends, maybe you have dinner or drinks by a video platform. Continuing life with a structure to our day and any type of an appearance of normalcy will help reduce any additional anxieties.

8. Show kindness for yourself and others-

During a time of national crisis, it is normal to feel anxious and worried. Remember while you are having these feelings, people you know are probably having the same feelings. Reaching out to family, friends, and neighbors who have been isolated, the same as all the rest of us may need a little boost in their spirits. Sometimes a simple phone call will not only heighten our spirits but also improve the person on the other end of the phone mood as well. If you are currently unemployed because of the pandemic, your new job is to have faith that this storm in life will pass and something new will come along and everything will work out for the best!

I meant to have this post out yesterday, but obviously wasn’t able to. For some unknown reason I had a lack in motivation and also continued getting distracted with many other things. I guess maybe it was the mixture of emotions I am feeling for starting my new job Monday. I am not overly nervous or excited; it is pretty much a good balance between the two. I have been out of work for many months now and honestly I have not ever worked from home on a permanent basis. I know I will be able to handle the work from home status well because I have always been extremely organized and disciplined. I did work in the same industry my work from home job is for several years prior to my husband and I relocated and did very well with it. If I am not mistaken the work I am going to be doing is almost exactly the same, but I have heard from a reliable resource that my new company is far more organized than the company I worked for previously.

Thank you for stopping by my site today and I do hope this information was helpful for you! I did only list 8 possible stress relieving ideas, but I do know there are many more and you probably already have some. I do hope you will share your thoughts on this important topic because it will help anyone that reads this. I hope your week is going well, you are feeling the best you possibly can, and you are continuing to remain safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

10 Types of Motivation

The different types of motivation, which one are you?

Motivation is predominantly our desire and willingness to do something. It is typically our reason or reasons to act or behave in a certain manner. This could be our acts for self-improvement, accomplishing one of our life’s goals, or complete a challenging project we have worked hard on. The motivation we have within us is what helps push us forward towards achieving the goals we set.

The more highly motivated an individual is, the more they will accomplish because they remain focused on what they want to achieve and experience. Highly motivated people pursue their thoughts and create habits that fuel their determination. It offers us guidance with decision making and setting goals to further motivate and excel to the next levels.

Everyone is motivated differently. Before I explain the different types of motivation, do you know what motivates you the most? It can be how you are motivated by setting goals for yourself or self-improvement, the sky is the limit with motivation.

The following are the 10 common types of motivation.

1. Intrinsic Motivation-

People whose motivation is driven by internal feelings and rewards are encouraged by intrinsic motivation. They are not motivated by other’s recognition or from winning awards. This form of motivation is not acting in a selfish manner but can be what guides them in selfless actions. They are pushed and encouraged by their own feelings to do what is right or what is good for the world. Many motivated in this way will go into organizations working with charities or non-profit organizations so they are able to do their part with making a difference in the world and for those that are suffering. These individuals are motivated more by helping other than the money they can make.

2. Extrinsic Motivation-

Those that are influenced by extrinsic motivation yearn for recognition from others. This type of motivation might sound selfish because they are not as clear for others to understand, but they really are not selfish people. There are a number of reasons why people do the things they do throughout their lives. Maybe working at a lower-paying non-profit organization isn’t enough to pay the bills, so even though a person loves what they are doing, they leave that company to go to work a higher paying job. Does that make them selfish? I do not think so because they only want a better and more comfortable quality of life for themselves and their family. It is likely their motivations are both internal and external.

3. Social Motivation-

Humans are naturally social creatures. We all typically have a desire to interrelate and engage with others. This type of motivation covers the common eagerness that most humans have to connect with others, have a sense of acceptance, and to belong to a group. This doesn’t need to be a large group but could be a smaller group. Some may long to connect with humanity on a deep and larger scale because they want to travel, to experience and learn about how others from different cultures live. Some people may want to become closer with family and friends in order to build happy life long memorable experiences and memories. When people belong to a group of others with similar goals and interests, it can help them achieve their goals and continue to move forward.

4. Competency Motivation-

People who are motivated by competency are enticed by processes. This encourages more to be achieved while gaining tactile comprehension and wisdom that can be utilized later. These individuals are not as interested in the finished products as they are in the processes it takes to reach their goals. People that go back to school several times are a good example of competency motivation because their interests are more in the final outcome of their gained knowledge. It also shows competency motivation when people decide to take classes to build on their knowledge from a classroom setting.

5. Expectancy Motivation-

The individuals that are guided by expectancy motivation are driven by how they expect the outcomes of their actions are going to be. Any choices that they make are determined by what the end goal is for the actions they take. They are not typically concerned with the action necessary to make it to their end goal. When management decides to link bonuses to performance, gripping their employees’ expectations of the outcome to encourage them to work harder is an example of expectancy motivation. If management violates their employees’ expectations it can be incredibly demotivating and destroy trust. Another example of expectancy motivation is exercise and weight loss. Unfortunately, if the expectations with exercise and weight loss are not met, a person can become discouraged.

6. Attitude Motivation-

Attitude motivation is similar to social motivation with the difference being that the person is not searching for a group to fit in with. A person is motivated by the ability to influence the ways others think and feel. An individual will wear a smile on their face when out in public despite what they are going through. The person is motivated to practice kindness in the world to ameliorate the attitudes and emotions of those they come into contact with. This form of motivation may help an individual inspire the people around them to spread positivity to those that are in need of it.

7. Arousal Motivation-

The theory behind arousal motivation indicates that people are compelled to carry out actions in order to maintain an optimal level of physiological arousal. Each person as a distinct arousal level that is best for them personally. When arousal levels become lower than our personal optimal level, the person will search for stimulation to increase theirs. When our levels become too high, the person will try finding ways to calm themselves.

Arousal motivation is closely linked to the Yerkes-Dodson Law, in regards to the way our performance is linked to our arousal state. This law indicates that performance increases to a point with physiological or mental arousal and when arousal levels become too high, our performance decreases.

8. Fear Motivation-

Although it might not be a positive experience at some point during our lifetime everyone has acknowledged fear as a motivator. Fear can cause us to take action to avoid or confront our fears. Fear can be a beneficial tool for one’s self, but not as much when it comes to intimidating others. Fear can help us get things accomplished while creating unnecessary enemies likely to discover ways to attack later. When using fear as a motivator it is best to confront and overcome our fears. Each fear we are able to overcome strengthens our abilities to handle challenging situations, overcome and reduce the impact of any future fears.

9. Achievement Motivation-

A theory of achievement motivation explains the desire to achieve goals for the purpose of reaching a peak of brilliance. The downside of this type of motivation is the sheer fear of failure. This person wants to be the best of the best at whatever they do. Alongside possible dark turns, people may begin looking for a short-cut, decide to cheat or engage in other unethical behaviors to obtain excellence. An example of this type of motivation is when the person studies to earn a certification or obtain a new skill by way of training.

10. Incentive Motivation-

It is human nature to desire to be rewarded for a job well done. Incentive motivation is about pursuing palpable rewards and the fulfillment provided. Incentives are a favored way to initiate habits and make personal changes by rewarding one’s self once reaching the goal we set out for.

Discovering what motivates us can be an important and beneficial tool to understand. Once we have this knowledge, there is nothing we can’t achieve. How did you answer my question about your type of motivation at the beginning of this post? After reading the various descriptions of motivation, did your answer change at all? Which type of motivation best describes you?

Thank y’all for visiting my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial and interesting for you. I would love to read your thoughts on this post and what type of motivation best describes you. I do promise to respond to all comments in no more then 24-hours. I found the different types of motivation pretty interesting myself. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and of course staying safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Avoiding Drama

Ways to Avoid Drama

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I personally do not enjoy drama at all! The only drama that is welcomed in my life is from General Hospital, the only soap opera I watch and have watched for many years. I think any other drama is exhausting and completely unnecessary. Many people seem to live and breathe for drama and find life boring when there isn’t any drama in their daily life. I see drama as a useless and immature way to cope with life. Drama only increases the difficult and challenging times and in the end simply isn’t worth it.

With all the other unavoidable hard times we will encounter in life, we all must have a positive and clear mental state of mind. To have a life as stress-free and peaceful as possible, eliminating drama from our lives may be very beneficial, it just involves learning and implementing a few essential skills, which I will share with y’all!

1. Evaluate your circle regularly-

It is obvious, that the people we communicate with and are around most have the greatest impact and influence on our lives and views. It is undeniable the surrounding ourselves with people that enjoy drama and bring a massive amount of it into our lives is unhealthy for our mental state of mind.

It might not be easy to remove people from our lives, especially if they are family, but we can limit our contact with them until they make necessary changes in their life.

When evaluating those we spend the most time with it is important to take our time. There are questions we must ask ourselves, such as are these people positive? Do they cause us to feel good or drained? Do these people bring good or bad in our lives? If we continue answering these questions honestly, we will know what will be best for our happiness in life.

2. Practice the Gray Rock Method-

The gray rock method is a practice used to remove the fascination and entertainment form a narcissist’s life. This is a method used to make someone lose interest in us. You aren’t feeding their desire for drama or attention and they no longer have interest in you.

This method can also work with people who have a lot of drama in their lives, who unintentionally spread it by constantly insisting on the need for emotional support, but never do anything to correct their situation.

The sad truth is, these people typically offer and give next to nothing, but demand our full attention and support. They will make everyone else’s life and problems seem uninteresting and boring and draw all attention back to what they are dealing with, which is probably self-inflicted.

One simple way to handle these individuals is to give evasive answers, never give your opinions, avoid subjects with deep emotions involves, and no matter what they say or do, show no visible emotional reactions. It is also best to not share any personal information that they could use as an angle to work you into drama.

3. Only give advice when asked-

The advice topic can be a touchy situation. No one wants to be told what to do and advice is often unwelcomed unless it was asked for.

If you are the type of person that wants to help others get their lives together, unfortunately, this can be a double-edged sword because even though you only want to help, you can end up trapped in their cycle of drama.

One option for those that simply want to help others is to never advise unless that person asks for it. There are times when we might not fully understand if advice is being requested or they are just wanting to vent, so do not be afraid to ask this person. To avoid being sucked into their drama, make a rule for yourself to only give advice once and only once!

4. Utilize tactful honesty-

People who enjoy drama hate hearing the truth because it clearly diminishes their dramatic situation. It is best to do this tactfully because many people do not listen to things when they are said brutally.

To give tactful honesty, you must remain calm, cool, and collected no matter how much the other person tries to get you to argue. An argument, because you were honest, can be avoided by just not engaging with them. You can also give another tactful response by saying, “You asked for my advice and this was only my opinion.”

“I hate drama”-

People who enjoy drama will show it almost immediately. If someone says to you “I hate drama” or “I do not get along with this person”. Pay close attention before getting too close to them. Both of these phrases show this person has had constant issues with other people before. Many times this person is unaware of their problems with their interactions.

It is common these people continue making bad decisions and surround themselves with toxic people, but you will have the choice to not get too involved.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you and you will be able to distance yourself from any unwanted drama. I would love to read your thoughts on this delicate topic and how you handle it when anyone attempts to bring drama into your life. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Boundaries and how to set them

Do you ever feel trapped within other people’s problems because they constantly lean on you for either advice or help? Do your friends and even family know you will always lend an ear to whatever they are going through, even when it is self-inflicted? How many times has what whoever comes to you with their latest problem or problems did it make you feel an incredible amount of emotional pain that was almost suffocating?

The truth is I have never been able to turn my back on anything that was in distress and needed someone to talk to. It is not in my nature to tell someone I can or do not have time to listen and attempt to help them. Is it even possible to avoid becoming emotionally involved when an individual you care about is struggling? Even though we do always want to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, solicitous, and caring, there can come a time when we need to consider our own well-being over another’s.

I am sure that everyone has heard about the importance of developing personal boundaries and has probably implemented them by now. Even though I am very aware of the fact I need to set boundaries, but I have yet to execute any what-so-ever. I guess the reason I decided to write about boundaries is that I need and want to learn how to set boundaries before losing too much too myself and feeling resentful way too frequently.

We all have our limits to what we are willing and able to cope with, after all, we are only human and unfortunately do not have magical powers. How many times throughout your life have your friends, co-workers, or family pushed far beyond the limits you are willing to deal with? I can say without hesitation that I don’t think I can count the number of times using both my fingers and toes. Once you have been unsuccessful in separating yourself from what others are going through as much as I have, you are going to want to find change. Often the changes we desire to make are not easy and can be outright frustrating, but with enough perseverance anything is possible!

I have heard many people talk about how crucial it is to have boundaries in all of our relationships. With that said, how would you define boundaries? It is my understanding that boundaries are the limits we put in place with other people. These boundaries specify what we find to be both acceptable and unacceptable in the way others behave towards us.

Our capability of knowing our boundaries typically comes from our sense of self-worth or evaluating one’s self in ways that are NOT dependent on anyone else or the feelings others may have towards another. Self-worth is about discovering the natural value of who we are, which helps our awareness of the following:

1. Intellectual Worth which means just like you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions, everyone else is as well.

2. Emotional Worth means you are entitled to your feelings towards any situation, everyone else should be given the same respect.

3. Physical Worth refers to no matter how broad the space is you are entitled to your personal space as do others.

4. Social Worth means just as you are entitled to your friends and the ability to pursue your social activities, so do others.

5. Spiritual Worth means just as you are entitled to your spiritual beliefs, so is everyone else.

To set boundaries it is important to fully understand that four different types which can be defined as the following:

Physical Boundaries are the easiest to define because they are external and seen.

These boundaries can be described as your office, your desk, your computer that is password-protected, and your money in your bank account, your car that is locked, and your body.

Over the years as I got older the one boundary I never had an issue with is my physical boundary. I do not like for people to come too close to me or put their hands on me. Concerning my personal boundaries, before social distancing, I do not want anyone invading the space between me and the length of my arms.

Mental Boundaries are regarding to our personal thoughts.

It is impossible for two people to always agree on everything all of the time. Each individual is entitled to their thoughts, opinions, values, and beliefs. We all want our mental boundaries respected, so we must reciprocate the same respect to others.

I can say that when I am having a conversation with someone that has opposing views than I have, I am stubborn enough to know I will not change my thought process. When discussing something I am extremely passionate about and believe strongly in, I will simply explain my reasoning to the other person and understand everyone is free to have their own beliefs and I will not try changing the other person.

Emotional Boundaries are what gives us the freedom to feel how we feel.

Setting healthy emotional boundaries has two distinct and beneficial purposes. They help prevent us from inflicting others with our emotion and unloading continuously on anyone that will listen, which later we will probably regret doing. Emotional boundaries assist us in managing our emotions in appropriate and healthy ways.

The other aspect of emotional boundaries is they prevent us from taking on and carrying other’s emotions that constantly share. The emotional boundaries we put in place are meant to disconnect our emotions from another person’s emotions, which is where I consistently fail. If someone close to me is struggling and distressed, I want more than anything to be able to help them with love, empathy, and advice. It is painfully difficult accepting that I can’t help or force them to do things I think are mortally right, they are the only person that can help themselves through their problems.

Spiritual Boundaries are protecting our beliefs and regarding to our sense of spirituality.

We are all entitled to believe in what we feel and we should never dismiss what anyone else believes, as no one else should dismiss ours.

Our personal boundaries come in three distinct categories which are defined as:

1. Healthy Boundaries meaning not only does a person value their opinion, but also do not compromise their values for anyone else. They are also welcoming and accepting when others say “NO” to them.

2. Rigid Boundaries are when a person avoids both intimate and has very few close relationships. Typically never asks for any help and often seems to be detached. Those with rigid boundaries distance themselves from others to avoid rejection.

3. Porous Boundaries are when individuals share too much personal information. Not only do those with this form of boundaries have a hard time saying “NO” to other’s requests, but they also become overly consumed with the problems other people are going through. These individuals tolerate abuse and or being disrespected.

If you already have established boundaries in your relationships, that is great and I applaud you for that. On the other hand, if you are like me and want to set boundaries in place for your well-being, I am glad that I am not alone and we can tackle this together. I have found various ways to implement boundaries, but I figure it is best to start easy. I am going to share the four simple steps for straight-forward boundaries.

1. Understand and recognize your limits-

Clearly describe your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries with all your relationships first. Take the time to scrutinize previous experiences when you felt unsettled, irritated, bitter, resentful, and or disappointed. It is reasonable the reason we felt this way was a result of your limits being violated.

2. Be assertive-

Taking time to create and explain your boundaries is a step in the right direction, but maintaining follow-through is also critical. When someone invades our boundaries the only they are going to know is if we are direct and assertive with that them.

3. Practice makes perfect-

Being assertive may not come naturally to you because you are worried people will view you as mean and or rude. When we confirm what our boundaries are it shows that you value yourself, your needs, and your feelings more than what others think. It does not indicate you are being rude or even mean when you are assertive; it actually means you are being honest and fair with the other person.

4. If all else fails, delete, ignore, and move on-

Of course, we need to voice what our boundaries are first and then follow an action plan. You do need to tie up any loose ends and given family, friends, co-workers, and whoever else about the cease to any promises previously made, and you no longer owe them anything more. Once you asserted yourself and made things crystal clear, if they choose to violate your boundaries, it is perfectly acceptable to simply ignore them.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you. Life is short and being constantly consumed with everyone else’s problems can be draining. I am hoping that developing boundaries, I will be less stressed and frustrated with the problems I hear about. I would love it if you have any other advice for anyone that wants to develop boundaries, you will share your knowledge! I hope your weekend is going well and you are staying very safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa