Let It Go Friday

Guess what y’all, it is finally Friday!! I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way, but this week felt SO LONG! I know it was the same five days that each week is, but it felt much longer. Of course, it does not help that I was ready for Friday on Monday morning😊! The weather where I live was very messy yesterday. It rained all day, which made it appear darker than normal and a little chilly. Thankfully, I think the weekend is going to be a little nicer and hopefully, there will not be any rain! Even though the rain makes me hurt much worse, I would almost prefer it to rain on my days off because it gives me a reason to just stay nice and cozy on the couch with the cats!

After a week that felt super long, I think today will be the perfect day to try letting go of any negative feelings the week created. Our weekends are too short to bring any negativity in and much better left in the past. There are times in our lives when we have been disappointed by another too much and none of us deserve this. Walking away from those who have caused us so much pain from disappointments can be necessary for our own well-being. It is not easy, but often VERY much required because we all deserve happiness. It might be friends or family or just acquittances, it is okay to walk away from them! Please never feel guilty to walk away from someone in your life that caused you any kind of pain!

Now that the weekend is almost here, do you have anything planned for these next two days? Just because it is the weekend, it does not mean we have to have plans, it is completely okay to want to rest and recuperate from the week. I would like to work on what I am doing for the writing competition, catch up on some reading, and most of all catch up on sleep!! Of course, my cats do not understand this and will more than likely want me to get up at the same time so they can have their Fancy Feast treats. We will see though, I am just happy to not have to work and be forced to listen to people complain and make unreasonable demands!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and you found the quote helpful in letting go and walking away from the unnecessary upset. Hopefully, you will do something that makes you happy this weekend and whatever you do, you do so safely! I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I possibly can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! 

Always, Alyssa

Kindness is the way of life

We have successfully made it through the first day of the week and I hope it was a good day for y’all. I am thankful for my job and the people I work with, especially during this slow time of year. It can be easy to get discouraged in this life, but it is wonderful to have family, friends, and co-workers to make it a little easier to tolerate. Even though work has been rather slow, I try to help my co-workers because I value them and want to help them keep things on track, and so they do not feel overwhelmed. It can be exhausting when things pile up due to meetings or training, and some people have children they need to tend to. I feel like taking a little off their full plates when I can help them not get too overwhelmed and frustrated.

We never know what another person is going through in their life. Many people will put on a fake smile to hide their pain because they do not want anyone to know they are going through something complicated and mentally draining. They hide their emotional pain by acting as though their life is happy and they are not suffering silently. Others that are going through something in their personal life that is problematic and troublesome might behave negatively with an abrupt tone because they are angry and or frustrated with something personal. Even though it is not easy, we need to not take their behavior personally.

Instead of reacting negatively to someone who says something harsh or behaves rudely, we should learn to take a step back and think about what that person may be going through. If this is someone that we know and understand their personality, we should be able to figure out if something is different. It should be easy to know if their behavior is normal or out of the ordinary. There is someone that I know that can be really kind and understanding most of the time, but every once in a while her demeanor changes drastically, and not for the better. I tend to ignore the negative behavior of this person because I do know she is battling with something on a personal level. Instead of reacting in the same way she is, I do the opposite and treat her kindly.

If we react with emotions every time someone acts negatively, we would constantly be dealing with hurt feelings. Then if we speak out of hurt feelings with a negative tone and say something that makes the other person feel even worse than they did before, we will never be able to erase those hurtful words. Too many people resort to suicide when they cannot handle life anymore and we would never want our mean words to be the last words another person hears. I am not saying it will change anything, but sometimes all a person needs to hear when they are struggling are kind, supportive, compassionate, and loving words.

I think if we could all just try being nicer and more understanding of others the world might be a happier and better place to live. Maybe if we all try spreading kindness, love, compassion, and understanding, it would catch on and spread as far as and beyond negativity. I believe we can all admit that negativity can spread like wildfire, so why can kindness and love not as well? None of this should take too much energy and should be rather easy😊!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared, and my words resonated with you. Many people reading this might be battling with a medical issue, which I do understand is not easy, so it should be so easy for us to be kind to others regardless of how they behave. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Food For Thought

The holidays are “supposed” to be a time for joy and happiness, but it tends to make me feel sad. While I know how insane this may sound, I do have my reasons. I think about those who have lost loved ones both recently and not so recently. Unfortunately, most of us have lost someone we cared deeply for and the empty chair at the dinner table during the holidays is another reminder they are gone. It does not matter how long it has been, the loss of someone we loved is a pain that stays with us.

I feel heartbreak for people I have never met that I know who lost someone they loved. Recently, there was a tragic loss for a wife and her children, when Stephen Boss, also known as “Twitch,” took his own life. Another celebrity who recently lost her life was Sonya Eddy who played Epiphany Johnson in the soap opera, General Hospital, which I have watched since I was a child. I think about the families of these two people and how they will get through the holidays without them.

During the holidays, I also think about my late Grandfather and my husband’s late Grandparents. Even though my grandfather and I did not see each other as often as I would have liked because we lived several states away from each other, I do always miss the sound of his voice when we talked on Christmas Day. Since my husband and I have been together, which is now going on twenty years, we always used to spend Christmas Day at his Grandparent’s house before they passed away, which is the house we now live in. The one thing we will all always have, no matter how many years since our loved ones passed away, is amazing memories.

I cannot help but think about the many people across this world that will face the upcoming holidays for the first time without their loved ones. So many will deal with pain and sadness over the holidays, and it fills me with sadness. Maybe I am being overly emotional, but I also think about the millions of people that are homeless and do not have the opportunity to enjoy a hot family dinner surrounded by loved ones. Too many people are doing the best they can on the streets, trying to find shelter and food, which should never be the case, no matter why they are in the situations they find themselves in.

I might overthink things too much, but there are so many questions that keep running through my head. Why do some people have to struggle, especially in a country as wealthy as the United States? Why do the ones who are not struggling financially and would not miss a few dollars not offer to help the underprivileged more? There are so many struggling with mental instabilities that cannot find the help they need and why is this? Why do people have to suffer and starve? Why can the world not be fair and provide equal opportunities to everyone? If you saw a young man or woman on the street in the cold, would you try to help them or would you turn your head and walk away? It is not possible that I am the only person who has these thoughts and wants to help.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this post was not as uplifting as I normally try to be, but this is how I am feeling and needed to get these feelings out to others and give them something to think about. I feel that sometimes it only takes a few people to think about the bigger problems in life and make small strides to do something to help. I hope you are having a good week and there was something that I have shared in this post that resonated with you. I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Build Up to Holidays

The holidays for the past few years have been abnormal, to say the least. We had been forced to place family gatherings on hold, with no idea when to reschedule them for. COVID caused holiday celebrations to change drastically and add even more stress to an already stressful time of year. Although COVID is much better than it was a few years ago, the pandemic has not seen its final days yet. The good news is that travel restrictions have been lifted, which is helping make long-distance family gatherings more manageable. Everything seems as though there are promises life will see what we used to consider “normal” again soon.

Even though life is starting to become normal again and COVID stress is decreasing some may still feel increased stress as the holidays approach us. Many have adjusted increasingly well to being at home and isolated from the outside world. Of course, for anyone who naturally enjoys socializing, the ability to interact with others, and to have mindless conversations, the holidays will be a breath of fresh air and excitement.

The low-key, mellow homebody type was thrilled to have a logical excuse to stay at home for the holiday of their dreams. Changing back to the spectacle of talkative relatives, rambunctious children, and loud noises may be a complete shock to their sheltered systems. Human beings do have the ability to acclimate to new environments quickly and adjust to change, which COVID pushed all of us to learn quickly.

Everyone needs to remember that the holidays do not mean we need to make up for all the holidays missed due to COVID in one day. We need to enjoy these times without feeling increased pressure. We can converse and interact with our family and friends, while still protecting our personal space.

For anyone that is an introvert and enjoys the comforts of their home, the following tips might be beneficial to read. I am sure there are many more ideas available, but these are just a few that I came across and wanted to share them.

Take Baby Steps:

Now is a time to take things slow and not push ourselves too far. Many of us might be tempted to try avoiding social gatherings and holiday parties, but we should try to at least make a conscious effort. Avoidance can potentially make things far worse than they truly are.

The best way to readjust and ease back into the “normal” holidays is to take it one manageable event at a time. Remember, to stay true to yourself, if large events and gatherings cause you too much stress and anxiety, choose to attend smaller gatherings until you begin to feel more comfortable and less anxious.

It is crucial to create and maintain time limits. If you know you can only tolerate an hour or two at a family dinner, let this be known so everyone is aware and understands. You could simply say, “I am so excited to celebrate the holiday with everyone, but unfortunately, I must leave by 9 PM.” If you are with your significant other or a friend, establish a code word to let that person know you are ready to head home, so you can begin saying your “goodbyes”.

Envision Success:

During the days leading up to your holiday gathering, try to self-talk. Do not tell yourself, it is going to be an uncomfortable and awful situation. Instead, remind yourself you are going to be surrounded by family who loves and accept you, and everything is going to be fine. The more you tell yourself this, the more that is what your brain will hold onto and remember.

Allow Yourself Breaks:

Whether the holiday gathering is with family or friends, keep your needs in mind. Stay aware of any indicators you are getting overwhelmed, your heart begins racing, you become overheated, etc. If your stress and uncomfortable feelings build up, simply politely excuse yourself to the restroom or step outside for some fresh air. A short and quiet break can help to calm yourself and be ready to socialize more.

The holidays do not need to be stressful, as they are meant to be enjoyable. We still have a few days left before Christmas Day, so try to keep yourself stress free and look forward to spending time with your loved ones. If you are not able to see everyone in your family due to distance, there is nothing wrong with picking up the phone to chat or even chatting on Zoom.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you found the tips I have shared helpful, but if you have others, I will encourage you to share them. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. I hope your week is going well and you have a good day! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Letting Go Of The Past

Something everyone around the world has in common is, we all have a past. This can include positive and negative situations. Of course, we all enjoy remembering the positive things that happen and never want to forget those memories. Unfortunately, life is not perfect, and we encounter negative experiences during our lifetime. Although our first reaction to negative situations is to try forgetting them because they were traumatic and caused emotional pain and anxiety. There are better and more effective ways to handle those negative situations.

Instead of trying to ignore and forget about the past, it might be better and longer lasting to confront the past head-on. Confronting the past involved a conscious, dedicated choice to approach past emotional pain and begin to process them. When we continue trying to avoid the past, it is only going to circle back around. This will continuously force us to remember the pain over and over again, which is a vicious negative cycle.

There are numerous ways to confront the past and I am going to share some steps that I hope will help you. I do understand that you may have other ways that have helped you, which is great. Everyone deals with emotional pain and stress differently, so I would encourage you to share what has helped you face these issues.

One: Acceptance:

Accepting the traumatic events that were experienced is the first step and can be the most challenging step towards recovery. It depends on the severity of the trauma, but it may require professional help to overcome it and move forward. Mental health is critical to take care of before it escalates, so seeking guidance from a professional should not be viewed as a weakness and no one should feel shame from this.

Two: Consider the effects:

Any hurt we experience is going to include a reaction. We will gain additional wisdom that we must value. We should always try using what was learned from our painful experiences to have a better reaction when faced with future pain. Everything experienced in life is meant to help us deal with similar situations that we may encounter, and they are all learning opportunities. These opportunities are a gift to help us handle complicated situations we may endure and should not be viewed as a punishment, but more as a benefit.

Three: Distance:

We have all heard that sometimes it is necessary to distance ourselves from negative situations or toxic people in our life. It has been suggested by psychologists, that distance from a situation or the individual causing us to feel upset or stressed can help with letting go because we are not around the individual or situation and not forced to think about whatever is causing us to be upset. Often, we need space and time to process things on our terms.

Four: Allow yourself time to let the negative feeling flow:

We may try to avoid negative feelings out of fear but understand this is normal. Many people are in fear of feeling such as anger, grief, sadness, and disappointment, but these are common and natural feelings to experience once you have been hurt. It is okay to take time alone to let your tears flow or scream your frustration and anger out when no one is around. This release may severe you well and you are one step closer to recovery. If you do not want to scream or cry your feelings out, you can try writing a letter that you do not plan to send to whatever has you upset.

Five: Accept you may never get an apology:

Waiting for another person to accept responsibility for hurting you and apologizing can be a wasted energy. If you wait for an apology, it will only slow the progress of letting go down. It is not easy to understand why people are so unwilling to accept responsibility for the wrongs they do, but unfortunately, it is the way things are and we deserve the chance to let go so we can be happy!

We have almost made it to the end of the week, and I know we are all looking forward to the weekend. I know I have talked about this before, but PLEASE if you have not already been vaccinated for COVID, PLEASE do so. The vaccine can save lives and we all should be wearing masks when in public places to keep ourselves and others safe from getting COVID. Over the past years, too many have lost their lives and this COULD have been avoided. My mother and her husband, both are vaccinated have recently been diagnosed with COVID. I am thankful they were both vaccinated because that might have saved their lives! Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers! 

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information I have shared will be beneficial for you and if you have other advice, I do wish you would share it. Life is challenging and we do not need additional stresses added to our lives because it is not worth it. It is so important that we try to be understanding towards what others might be going through and know there are probably things we do not know about. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Almost Thanksgiving

Twas the day before Thanksgiving and many are excited to visit with family with COVID numbers decreasing. This time last year many were isolated due to fears of COVID, which caused most to feel sad about not being able to spend a holiday with their families. Unfortunately, last year we were seeing high numbers of COVID, and no one wanted to get sick or cause their loved ones to get sick. Yes, this year the numbers have decreased, and many have been vaccinated so all we can do now is hope for the best😊! I know that I am not the only one that is tired of hearing about COVID, as we dealt with it for far too many years!

Thanksgiving is a time to remember the things that we are thankful for. Of course, we should show how thankful we are daily, but with tomorrow being Thanksgiving this post is going to be about being thankful! What are a few things you are thankful for? Unfortunately, many of us have lost loved ones and we wish they were with us to celebrate, but we can still honor those we have lost by cherishing their memory. Our lost loved ones would want us all to keep living our lives and be happy while still remembering them😊!

Years ago, my husband and I would try to spend Thanksgiving with my mother. It was a nice time to get together and catch up. This year, my mother is living in another state, and it will be a little different. I am beyond thankful that my mother has found love and happiness and is living her best life. We were talking about having her and her husband come to visit us around Christmas, but I am logical about money and thought it would be a less expensive flight to wait until after Christmas for them to come!

I am very thankful that my husband and I are safe and healthy (besides my having Multiple Sclerosis). We have a wonderful life with our three amazing cats that bring us so much joy. We do terribly miss our cat Chloe whom we had for almost 16 years, but the two little cats we adopted are wonderful and all three cats get along so well. We both find it incredible to watch the three cats interact with one another, the bond they have formed, and the unconditional love they have for each other and us.

Another thing that I am thankful for is my husband’s side of the family. They have all been so welcoming since the day he and I met, and they continue to be the best in-laws any girl could ask for. Family can be unusual and unique, but love is consistent and unconditional.

In a very strange way, I am thankful for my job and my work family. I have not met any of my co-workers in person but have built strong relationships with several of them. The few that I have made a strong connection with are my supervisor and a few of my other co-workers that share the same title as I do. One of the girls loves her cats as much as I love mine, and sadly lost two of hers back-to-back a few months ago. We spend more time at work than we do not at work, so it is nice to be able to work with good people!

Too many people in this world forget how to be thankful for what they have in their lives and then take things for granted. I think that is sad because there are so many people, especially in the United States that do not have a roof over their heads, food on the table, or love in their hearts and are unable to have compassion or understanding for anyone else. We all share the world we are living in and it does not matter the color of someone’s skin, who they love, where they are from or anything else, this world is for us to live and grow in!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post and I look forward to reading your comments and what you are thankful for. I was going to make beef stew for dinner tomorrow, but we are now going to order a turkey dinner to have for Thanksgiving. My husband was looking forward to turkey, so this saves me from cooking! I am still hopeful that everyone around the world can remember what love means and start being kind to everyone! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~My Sunday Thoughts~

Sunday is the end of the weekend, which means we are starting to prepare for the upcoming week. Yes, I know we would all prefer to have an extended weekend, but even the long weekends never feel like enough! Even if you did not do anything exciting over the weekend, I hope you were able to get some well-deserved rest, so that you are as ready as you can be for the week that awaits us. With as exhausted as I was after last week, I still did not manage to catch up on any sleep. It never fails, no matter what time I go to bed, I still wake at the same time every day.

It is hard to depend on people because it just sets us up for disappointments, which is hard on the body, mind, and heart. I think we are lucky if we have a handful of people in our life that we know will never disappoint because they are true to their word and mean what they say. It is sad how many people have forgotten what it feels like to be let down by someone they care about or they do not care how others feel as much as they should. One of my mottos is to always treat others the way I want to be treated because I never want to cause someone pain from something I failed to do.

Are there certain things in life that you believe strongly in and they mean a lot to you? If you were in a crowded room and most people disagree with you, would you still stand up for what you believe or give in just to get along with everyone? Would you rather stand alone or be different? My answer to this will never change because I would rather be different rather than go against something that I believe in. I think being different is much better than being a sheep and not defending your beliefs!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and it all resonated with you. I hope you had a nice and safe weekend, and I look forward to reading your comments. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

National Substance Abuse Prevention Month

In 2011, former President Obama issued the first-ever Presidential Proclamation designating October as National Substance Abuse Prevention Month. This is meant to be a month to raise awareness of the various health effects substance abuse causes the individual, families, and communities. It is also a time to remember those who lost their lives to substance abuse, recognize those in recovery, and those who are continuing to support them. When someone battles with any type of addiction, it can wreak havoc on their lives and everyone around them. We need to try to understand the struggles and help get anyone not already in recovery, to find their way to the road to recovery.

Studies have indicated individuals who start smoking, drinking, or using other drugs have a greater likelihood of addiction. Unfortunately, those who began using addictive substances before they were 15 years old are about seven times more likely to develop a substance abuse problem than those that delay their first use until at least 21 years old or older. Each year substance abuse is delayed during their adolescent brain development, and their risk of addiction and substance abuse decreases.

The National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics suggests slightly more than 60% of Americans have abused a type of drug during the past month. This includes illegal and pharmaceutical drugs but also includes tobacco and alcohol. Pew Research Center, which is an indirect viewpoint has reported that 46% of American adults have a close relationship with someone who is or has suffered from addiction, some may not even know someone they are close to is dealing with an addiction. It is sad and unfortunate, but this is a common and VERY real problem in the United States.

As I have already mentioned, substance abuse tends to start with the youth and younger adults. Over 12.5% of our adolescent population has used illegal substances during the past year. It is crucial to help the youth understand the importance of avoiding drugs, as this can prevent them from further issues when they are adults.

Substance abuse is a known issue in the world, but in the United States statistics show that you or someone you care about has fallen victim to the addiction epidemic. Addiction can be a dark and lonely place for the person suffering from the addiction and in turn be painful for their family. This can cause many to feel powerless to discover a resolution and treatment.

Sadly, there have been countless celebrities and musicians the youth view as role models that fell into the addiction trap and lost their lives because of their addiction. Highly successful individuals such as Chester Bennington from Linkin Park and Chris Cornell from SouthGarden and Audioslave are just a couple of examples. So many become addicted to various types of drugs because they are self-medicating due to mental health issues, previous traumas they want to forget, negative home environments, or various other stressors.

The number of overdose deaths continues to increase each year. The CDC estimated in 2021, more than 107,000 died from a drug overdose, with 75% of these deaths involving opioids. Sadly, the number of overdose deaths increased to 109,000 as of March 2022. The vast majority of these deaths were due to synthetic opioids, which include fentanyl and stimulants such as cocaine and methamphetamine.

It is important to keep yourself educated on the signs of addiction. Understanding signs can help you to identify the behaviors and help the person suffering from addiction sooner rather than later when it may be too late.

Behavioral Symptoms:

*Increased aggression or irritability

*Changes in attitude or personality

*Lethargy

*Depression

*Abnormal messages on social media

*Drastic changes in habits and or priorities

*Criminal activity

Physical Symptoms:

*Bloodshot or glazed eyes

*Dilated or constricted pupils

*Abrupt weight changes

*Sleeping too much or too little

*Poor physical coordination

*Unusual body odor

*Appearing untidy

Communicating with someone that is battling addiction can be complicated. Of course, each person is unique and may need different strategies than those that I am sharing with you. Regardless of the way you discuss the issue, all people need love, support, and compassion. The following are some strategies that you may find helpful. 

Always Be Kind:

Be advised there is already a negative stigma engulfing our society regarding addiction. This causes people to be criticized, insulted, belittled and rejected. Although you may have accepted the person’s addiction struggles and disapprove of their behavior, you can slowly begin building a bridge to forgiveness and the person’s recovery. 

Carefully choose your words:

Understanding language matters and we cannot erase words that are spoken. Remember to communicate as respectfully as possible. It is crucial to evade using language that encourages harmful cliches. Refrain from words such as addict or junkie because the person’s addiction does not define who they are as a whole. These names are dehumanizing and not helpful!

Educate yourself:

Society tends to blame people for their addiction like it is a moral failure. Be sure to understand before speaking to your loved one that addiction is a disorder and not a failure. The National Institute on Drug Abuse describes addiction as an inability to stop using drugs, failing to work, or failing family obligations. Currently, people working in the medical community refer to addiction as a substance abuse disorder. Even if you disagree with this, it is important you do not let the person you are trying to help know because it will not help the person recover. 

Talk Less, Listen More:

An important part of communicating is listening to what the person is saying to you. When someone struggling with addiction confides in you, try to simply listen without interrupting or criticizing. You may disagree with what the person is saying, but it is VERY important to withhold your judgments. Remember to continue speaking to them as if they do not have an addiction. The person suffering from addiction is still the same person they were before the addiction took hold of them and they have the same likes, dislikes, and hobbies. 

Set Boundaries: 

Communicate through actions and words. Keep your message consistent so your loved one does not misunderstand. Communicating with someone with an addiction is NOT easy, especially if you have a history of supporting their behaviors. Letting the person know how they hurt you may help to motivate their recovery. 

Believe the person:

If your friend or loved one decides to talk to you about their addiction, do not disagree with what they are saying. Your perspective about addiction is NOT the reality of their experience. Trust, they know what is happening because it is their body going through the addiction. Respect how they are feeling and what it has been like for them. Do not make excuses and enable their behavior, because they are responsible for their addiction. Even with this say, you can still support their recovery.

You cannot control the recovery:

Naturally, you want to help the person you care about with their addiction, but you cannot control how they do it. As long as they are not a harm to themselves or anyone else, all you can do is respect their ways to make positive changes. Instead of dictating how they get help, ask them how you can help them!

This post ended up being a little longer than I expected, so I am going to do another post that describes the negative effects drugs can do to a person’s body. Too many people around the world have fallen victim to addiction and others lost their lives due to their addiction. I might be wrong, but I think there is something more the government can do about this problem, but most are in the pocket for the pharmaceutical companies.

Thank you for visiting my site today. If you or someone you care about are struggling with an addiction, I hope the information in this post will help. Please understand, I am not a medical professional and the information provided was all based on my research on the subject. If you have any other suggestions, please let us know as I am sure it will be helpful. I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Unintentional Break

It has been a few days since I have done a post and the reasons do not make a lot of sense. I took Friday off from work because it was my birthday. The last thing I wanted to do on my birthday was deal with frustrating and demanding people. I normally never work on my birthday because I think it should be a day to do what I want to do. Of course, I did not get to do most things I wanted to, but I did not wake up at 6:30 AM, which was nice!

Considering it was a day off during the week, I did take our older cat to the doctor on Friday only so he could continue to get his asthma medication prescribed. Even though his doctor is only about a mile and a half from our house, he HATES car rides and gets incredibly scared. It was good timing for him to go to the doctor because he seemed to not feel well. When I say this cat has many expressions and it is undeniable to not be able to read them, I mean it! It is heartbreaking when he does not feel well because I feel helpless☹. His appointment went well, and the doctor said that the issues he was experiencing were more than likely allergies which are intensified by his asthma. He has spent the last few days very lethargic, but he is finally starting to be more himself now😊!

Saturday was my 11th wedding anniversary. It is insane that we have been married for 11 years because it seems like yesterday when we were married. My husband and I had a beautiful and small wedding, which was the way we wanted it to be. I do still remember every second of the day we were married. Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to give me away, but we came up with our way to handle that and it was perfect😊. I did not want to walk down the entire aisle alone, so we met halfway, which I still think is a perfect way to start a marriage. I think a marriage should always give and take!

I am so thankful that we were married while my husband’s grandmother was still with us because she was an incredibly beautiful and loving lady, and I am honored and blessed to have known and loved her and be loved by her. My husband’s grandfather had passed away several years before our wedding, but his spirit was still felt there. A picture that was taken had a bubble that appeared to have a smiley face in it, which I still believe was his late grandfather. I did get emotional a few times that day. The first time was before I walked out the door to start walking down the aisle. I asked my maid of honor to look and see if my father was there. Unfortunately, he was not, and it broke my heart into pieces, but I had to keep it together because the wedding was about to start. I was also sad because my late grandfather was unable to be there, but I did feel his love.

Our wedding was amazing, and I am thankful for those that were able to attend. I was very happy and stress-free the day we were married, which is huge for me because I am normally a massive stress case! It has honestly taken me many years to get over the hurt I felt that day. I do understand why my late grandfather was unable to be there. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my late grandfather was a pro-golfer and there was an event for him the day I was married. Plus, he was living in Massachusetts, and I was in North Carolina. I do still struggle with the sadness, disappointment, hurt, and pain that my father did not come to see me get married. It has been 11 years and I am finally realizing, it was more his loss than mine and I am sorry for him that he missed the happiest day of my life.

I am off from work again tomorrow and we do have some fun plans made to celebrate both my birthday and our anniversary. We are going to do something I have been wanting to do for a while now but wanted to be sure I was not alone. I am finally going to be getting the daith piercing and I am extremely excited. Yes, I know it will hurt, but I deal with pain all the time anyways, so I do not think it could be any worse😊! I might also get the helix piercing as well because I think it looks cute!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and doing the things that make YOU happy! Weekends and life are SO short, so we need to try living life to the fullest! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Missing you still

Of all the posts I have written and will write in the future, posts like this one are always the most difficult. September 9, 2013, was the day when my entire world was turned upside down and inside out because I lost someone that I considered to be my hero. My Grandfather, that I called Poppy was my rock and he kept me grounded through many life struggles. Losing him was one of the worst times in my life and I did not have my rock to help me through it. I thought my Poppy hung and moon and stars, and he could do no wrong in my eyes.

When I lost him nine years ago, he took a HUGE piece of my heart with him, but the lessons I learned from him will always live on in me. As much as I continue to try, there is no way I can ever be as great as he was, but I will never stop trying because I want to make him proud.

My Poppy was honest, caring, devoted, understanding, loving, compassionate, fair, and many other amazing qualities. I do not think there is anyone now or will ever be anyone else like him because he truly was one of a kind. I think that it is possible that God broke the mold when he made him. During my entire life, he never once disappointed me and I always knew that I could rely on him.

I have so many fond memories of him that I will never forget and will treasure until the end of time. He was a pro golfer that dedicated his life to the sport. I can remember times he tried showing me how to play and even though I was not doing well, he never gave up on me. I did not enjoy trying to play golf, but I did enjoy driving the golf cart around his golf course. As a young child, I loved being with my Poppy and rarely paid attention to the other golfers. There were numerous times I was in the way and had close calls with getting hit by the golf balls flying through the air, but he never raised his voice to me when he told me to watch where I was walking.

I remember driving in the car with him while he was singing. There is one songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ that I will never forget because he loved to sing it. Every time I hear Seven Spanish Angels by Ray Charles and Willie Nelsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ, I can hear him singing. Of course, now I am unable to get through the song without crying because I miss him SO much. 

I think one of the hardest things for me is, that I never got to say “goodbye”. I wanted to go visit him because I knew he was sick, but he did not want me to fly all that way to see him. I think he was trying to protect me because he did not want me to see him sick and suffering. It is so hard because the last image I have of him is when we went to his funeral. It is hard to get that image out of my mind because while it did look like him, that was not the man I remember. I am not sure he knew just how much I loved and admired him and that breaks my heart.

Out of everyone in my family, both my mother’s side and father’s side, my Poppy was my heart and soul. I idolized him and thought he would live forever. I will never forget when my uncle called me to tell me about Poppy passing away. The call caught me off guard for several reasons, one being that my uncle never calls me, but the other is because I could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. I could not understand how a man like my Poppy could be gone and I just wanted to see him again. I know someday, I will be reunited with my Poppy, and I just hope he will tell me that he is proud of the woman I had become. 

In all honesty, I am thankful everyday that I had a grandfather as special as mine was. Everyone who knew him was lucky because he loved unconditionally and would do anything for those he cared about. Sadly, all his friends and family lost a magical and amazing human being nine years ago and will forever miss him. He touched so many lives and made a HUGE difference for so many.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have had a good week and you are ready for the weekend to begin. I know this was a sad post, which I am sorry to end the week this way. Unfortunately, I will have a heavy heart today because I do miss my Poppy. I hope he is looking down from Heaven and he is enjoying the best golf courses ever created and he is proud of who I am today. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa