Random thoughts Sunday!

As the weekend comes to an end…

Good evening y’all! How was your weekend? I hope you had a great and safe weekend! I will be honest, I did not do much over the weekend. I think y’all already know that I do my best to not leave the house because I am terrified of COVID-19 and unfortunately, the state I live in is not doing the best with new cases and deaths. I don’t even leave the house to go grocery shopping because hardly anyone wears a mask and NO ONE respects social distancing, which I find very irritating because I am HIGH RISK!

Considering I try not leaving the house, I have been ordering my groceries online and having them delivered. Last weekend, I did the same thing I always do with grocery shopping and had an awful experience. I try to never complain because the people doing the shopping for me are really doing me a favor and I would even say keep me safer. However, when I request to be contacted when the store does not have the product on my list in stock and not make substitutions on their own, that is what I expect. This always worked so well each of the four previous times I did the online ordering, but last weekend nothing went the way it was supposed to.

Even though last weekend did not go well, I ordered again online for delivery yesterday. The lady sent me a text when she started the shopping and when the store did not have what I requested and when she was done and on her way to my house. I thanked this lady, Norma many times. I even told her why I wasn’t going to stores. She told me she understood and that her mother has MS. I thanked her several times during the time she was shopping and she actually bought me a small flower arrangement. I was so shocked and wanted to share this with y’all. Norma restored my faith in good people in the south!

Honestly, I have spent several days wanting to write about something and couldn’t get the words out. It was driving me crazy because I had a few days without work and I wanted to be able to do what I enjoy doing, which is writing. I have been struggling with a few topics that have a lot of meaning to me, but that also comes with a terrible amount of anger. I have always been a kind, caring, and happy person and do not like being angry. What has been going on in the country I was born and raised in is terrible and very upsetting. Politics is frustrating and I know we all have our own opinions on it. It doesn’t matter if we are Republican or Democratic, what matters is fairness and treating people equally and with respect.

Something else that has been weighing heavily on my mind is this situation with Jeffrey Epstein (who is deceased) and Ghislaine Maxwell. The connections these awful people had are deep within the rich and powerful people of the world and that includes politicians. The awful things Epstein and Maxwell did to young girls was traumatizing and life-altering to them. NO child should ever see or experience what the young girls that were lured into Epstein’s circle did and anyone and everyone that was involved should pay the consequences to the fullest of the law. This is a very sensitive and difficult subject for me and it had caused me a lot of anger and sadness!

Normally, I hand write all my posts first and then type them. I know how insane that might sound, but it typically works for me. I feel more connected with what I am writing when I do it by hand, but I am doing this post by typing what I am thinking and not over thinking it like I tend to do, so I hope you can feel what I am writing as deeply as I do. I would really love to read your thoughts on this post and I promise to respond as quickly as I can.

I hope you enjoyed your weekend and you stayed safe! Have you ever noticed how long the work week can feel and then how short the weekends are? Granted I am enjoying my job and love that I get to work from home, especially considering COVID numbers are on a steady increase daily. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Let It Go Friday!

Let Go Of The Negative Energy!

Happy Friday y’all! I hope you had a wonderful week and you are looking forward to the weekend! I must say my first week with my new job went rather well. I think y’all knew I was a little nervous, but all those nerves were wasted on something that didn’t require any kind of worrying. How was your week? Are you continuing to stay safe from COVID-19? I do hope you are because unfortunately, this virus doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

Regardless of how any given week goes, we always have those pesky little things that rubbed us the wrong way.

Even though my week went well with the new job, I had a couple issues that bothered me. As we approach the weekend, we should do so with happiness and positivity. There is no need for our upsetting moments to impose on the weekend we all deserve. I am hoping the quote I am sharing with y’all today will serve you well and help you to let go of anything that troubled you during the week, so you can enjoy your weekend!

I hope you have a great day and please stay safe!! Do you have anything planned for the weekend? My plans are going to be staying home and trying to work on somethings I wanted to write about. It isn’t easy to write in-depth posts I enjoy after getting up early and working 8 hours. I should have plenty of time this weekend because my husband will be working and I will have the weekend to myself!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the quote I shared helps you to let things go and have the relaxing and peaceful time you deserve! I know I say this in every post and sometimes multiple times, but please stay safe with whatever you do this weekend! I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

9 Types of Intelligence

The Nine Types of Intelligence, which are you?

In 1983, a psychologist by the name Howard Gardner published the book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, where he explained his theory that intelligence is not limited to only one factor. Gardner suggests that people are very capable of having different forms of intelligence.

Through the years we have all known people that were exceptionally good in specific subjects, but do poorly in others. Chances are we have experienced this many times during our lifetime. This is a prime example of why schools are not able to determine how intelligent a student is accurate.

The truth is, we are all intelligent in various ways and we may not even be aware of all of them. Gardner’s 9 types of allow us to determine what our strengths and weaknesses are. This will also allow us to focus on specific areas we would like to improve ourselves in.

The 9 Types of Intelligence are as followed:

Interpersonal Intelligence-

Those with this type of intelligence can walk into a room and work the room casually and effortlessly. This happens because these people can relate well with any and everyone. This type of person is often well-liked and can influence others with very little effort. These individuals can read others easily and pick up on the slightest social cues and sense the way others are feeling. Social cues may be body language, facial expressions, and changes in the person’s voice. They have the power to be very diplomatic and tactful but are also commonly the peacemaker in any group they are around.

Considering they have a habitual amount of charm and a natural way to negotiate to mean they could excel in a leadership role being a teacher, lawyer, politician, or social media influencer.

Intrapersonal Intelligence-

People that display intrapersonal intelligence have a unique ability to comprehend their own emotions, which causes them to be empathetic towards others. These people are extremely accustomed to both their thoughts and behavioral patterns. When they see someone else with behaviors similar to their own, they can empathize, see deeper than others, and understand where the actions stemmed from because they have experienced similar issues. Those with intrapersonal intelligence are caring and nurturing, and are frequently the ones that do working allowing them to help others. These people tend to be introverts and shy, but also very aware and creative. People that have intrapersonal intelligence are often writers, artists, and musicians because they connect with features of themselves many are not aware of.

Spatial Intelligence-

Individuals that have spatial intelligence find it easy to visualize things in three dimensions. They are typically extremely creative, have a keen imagination, and can contemplate all aspects of a particular concept by simply pondering about it. Spatial intelligence primarily uses the function of the right side of the brain when solving puzzles, understanding maps, and taking part in any kind of construction or engineering projects. They also love to draw and possibly as the years moved on in life, they developed a fondness for reading mystery books and tried solving the mystery before they reached the end of the book.

Naturalist Intelligence-

Those with naturalist intelligence have consideration to and appreciation for nature. They focus on the way people relate to their natural surroundings. Their admiration for nature provides them with a unique capability to grow plants, vegetables, and fruits. They also have special rapport and fondness for animals and can do well with training and understanding them. People with this type of intelligence can easily differentiate patterns in nature. They tend to have awareness and are fascinated by weather phenomena. These individuals excel with uncovering the wonders nature offers us all. Those with naturalist intelligence love to walk, hike, climb, camp, and feel the sand on their bare toes, and anything else they can do out in nature.

Musical Intelligence-

People with musical intelligence can recognize pitch, rhythm, quality, and tone. This type of intelligence provides unique abilities to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on the music that was demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, and vocalists. There are common connections between musical intelligence and emotions. There are also common ways of thinking between mathematical and musical intelligence. I find it interesting and amazing that some prodigies can play any song by ear and then others that may be synesthesia and appreciate the way different notes make them see/feel color and taste certain flavors.

Logical/Mathematical Intelligence-

This type of intelligence is something that no matter how hard I tried, I never developed. Logical/Mathematical Intelligence is a style that concerns the ability to reason, solve problems, and learn to use numbers, abstract visual information, and analyze the cause and effect of relationships. People with this type of intelligence can do complex math problems in their heads, where many others with the same math problem would not be able to finish even hours later. While people with this type of intelligence expertise in highly advanced reasoning, they normally are not very emotional and prefer for things to be logical and rational.

Existential Intelligence-

Individuals with existential intelligence can utilize collective values and intuition to understand others and the world are around them. They prefer to pursue deeper questions regarding human existence, such as the meaning of life, why we did and where we go when we die, and how did we get here and why are we here. These people could not care less about the latest celebrity gossip, fashion, or sports because they find those topics superficial. People with this type of intelligence are often viewed as intense, but they truly can be sensitive, consideration with an infinite amount of compassion and empathy.

Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence-

It is commonly assumed that people with bodily/kinesthetic intelligence have remarkable athletic abilities, but this is not always the case. This type of intelligence has more to do with hand-eye coordination and being able to utilize various other physical skills than it does strength and endurance. To have a high score with this type of intelligence one needs to have very fine motor control and a good sense of timing. This person’s mind-body connection is highly receptive, which provides them with quick reaction time and the ability to multitask successfully. Those with bodily/kinesthetic intelligence might be dancers, martial arts professionals, fine artists, neurosurgeons, or classical musicians.

Linguistic Intelligence-

The people in this world that have linguistic intelligence can use words very well in both speaking and writing. They tend to have a sizeable vocabulary, they enjoy reading in various literature categories, and they value others that can express themselves meaningfully. These individuals may also have a strong inclination with other languages, typically speaking two or three in addition to their native tongue. Those scoring high in linguistic enjoy and excel in all word games, such as scrabble, word puzzles, and crossword puzzles.

After reading about the different types of intelligence, which of these do you feel you have? I do find it remarkable that there are so many different types of intelligence and yet so many that have a difficult time using just one type of intelligence. I guess it is possible there are some people that have intelligence in several types, but also do not have the common sense that is needed.

I look at the state of our world and wonder why there are so many that not only don’t take the virus seriously, but also gamble with their lives by not wearing a mask. The proof is out there with how much COVID-19 numbers are increasing throughout every state in the United States. Deciding to believe a president over experts in infectious disease indicates a severe lack of intelligence. I am definitely not a genius, but I do take this virus very serious and follow all the safety protocols that have been given.

Thank you for stopping by my site today and reading about the different types of intelligence. I am looking forward to reading your thoughts and what type of intelligence you connected most with. I hope your holiday weekend is starting off well; you are feeling the best you possibly can, and staying safe! I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Coping with COVID-19 Stress

Learning to cope with the stress of a pandemic

For the first time in 40 years, on June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization declared the start of a flu pandemic. The CDC estimated that between 151,700 and 575,400 people died worldwide from the 2009 H1N1 virus infection during the first year of circulation. This virus was detected first in the United States in April 2009 before quickly spreading throughout the rest of the world.

On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared another pandemic with it being called Coronavirus or COVID-19. Even though COVID-19 was thought to be serious enough for the World Health Organization to declare a pandemic, there were still some leaders that did not heed the warnings and take proper actions.

The same leader or leaders that did not take COVID-19 seriously, spent months saying it was nothing more than a hoax and then claiming it was not even as serious as the normal flu. I find the ignorance and shame it takes to call this deadly virus the Chinese virus simply because it began in China absolutely ridiculous. I mean, no one ever referred to H1N1 as the American virus because it began in the United States, so what gives anyone the right to call COVID-19 the Chinese virus or any other demeaning name they think of?

There is one leader in particular that continues to blame everyone else for the virus but fails to blame the person he sees in the mirror every day for the 129,545 American’s that died because of this virus. Worldwide there have been more than 511,000 people who lost their lives due to COVID-19. We will never know now if only action was taken sooner not as many people would have had to die.

There is no denying the fact that being faced with a pandemic, which has already taken the lives of many, is stressful. Most of us have been overwhelmed with distress and anxiety due to this virus. Although actions such as social distancing are imperative for safety reasons, it can cause additional stress and anxiety from being isolated and lonely.

As we continue undergoing the pandemic of an infectious disease outbreak, there are several other issues that we may experience, including but not limited to the following:

– Fear for your health and the health of your loved ones

– Worry for your financial situation and or job security

– Changes in your sleep and or eating patterns

– Troubles sleeping and or concentrating

– Decline in chronic health problems

– Intensifying issues of mental health issues

– Increased use of tobacco and or alcohol and other substances

Everyone responds to stressful situations differently. Even though we dealt with the H1N1 pandemic back in 2009, I do not remember being as concerned and terrified as I have been with COVID-19. The crazy thing is during 2009, I worked for a hospital system with the Employee Health Department. I had constant interaction with people that tested positive for the flu, but never really worried. Of course, I wore a mask and washed my hands multiple times a day and thankfully never got the flu.

I do realize I am not the only one that remains worried about COVID-10, but I can also understand there is no amount of worrying that will make this situation any easier. Granted even if we lived next door to each other, chances are we wouldn’t be able to see one another and would only be able to offer support virtually. We can do this now and help each other to lessen the massive burdens of stress we are all enduring.

I am going to share a few ideas I discovered that will hopefully help reduce the stress we have all been trying our best to manage.

1. Limit Media Time-

Most people have already proven the ability to practice social distancing to prevent the spreading of COVID-19. With already understanding the importance of social distancing for the good of our health, we should be able to understand why distancing ourselves from the media would be in the best interest of our mental well-being. It seems like the media has 24/7 COVID coverage, which can be beneficial in small doses but can also be very negative causing additional anxiety for those who already had concerns. If you are anything like me (I am so sorry for you), you are already feeling extreme anxiousness. When we are becoming more anxious, we should consider taking a break from all news outlets and the view the news only twice a day at most!

2. Stop Engaging with worry-

Regardless if you are worried about yourself or a loved one contracting the virus or being out of work, the more you focus your attention on the worst-case scenarios, the more anxious and stressed you will feel. Of course, we are not able to stop thoughts from entering our minds, but we can choose to not dwell on those thoughts and instead decide to take action towards solving the problems at hand. I think we are all logical enough to understand the enormous differences between worrying and solving the problems we face. Our mind will often try to bait us into worrying, so we need to avoid taking that bait. Our feelings of anxiety will try baiting us with the many “what if” questions that we need to try avoiding answering because it only leads us down dark and endless roads. During times like these, we need to focus our attention elsewhere and on the more positive aspects. I do know during these stressful times, finding the silver lining might be challenging, but it is there.

3. Do not react to physical symptoms-

Just because you or someone around you coughs does not mean it is because of COVID-19. People have allergies, bronchitis, post-nasal drip, or a common cold and these issues are the much more likely explanation. We all know the seasons can cause numerous issues, so it is best to not assume COVID-19 every time you so much as hear a cough, but being aware of your surroundings and following safety protocols should always be followed. For your mental health and well-being, do not continuously scan your body searching for COVID-19 symptoms. The only things this behavior will do is cause unnecessary worry and intensify our already high anxiety levels.

4. Focus on productivity and newer ways of enjoyment-

Unfortunately, we do not have any control over the crisis the world is experiencing currently and the only thing we can control is our response. How many times in the past were you overloaded with work and maintaining your home, but discovered something new you wanted to try? With how much our everyday lives have changed and we are now living our “new normal”, we might finally through no fault of our own have time for new adventures. We can learn a new skill or fine-tune something we used to do back before life got crazy with work and family. Now is the time to put our attention on creating and accomplishing, instead of the virus and or our employment status.

5. Seize the moment in stress-reducing activities-

There are numerous different things we can try that could help reduce the vast amount of stress we might be experiencing during these trying times. As few ideas may include focusing on the things we are grateful for, exercising our bodies, guided meditation, and yoga are things that may help us relax our minds. Anything we may want to learn can easily be found on YouTube; there are many simple videos to follow along with on just about anything we can think of. Just think, once we are finally past this crisis we will not only have learned something new, but also appreciate all the simple things in life we may have taken for granted before such as dinner out at our favorite restaurant, a night out at the movies, and even something as simple as a haircut.

6. Follow CDC guidelines, but do not go overboard-

Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or sing happy birthday or twinkle, twinkle little star, whichever you prefer. This does not mean washing your hands until they are red and dry. In the event soap and water isn’t available, you can use hand sanitizer containing at least 60% alcohol. Always avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth with unwashed hands. Maintain at least 6 feet between yourself and others outside your home. Wear face covering when around others out in the public. Despite what some might say, it is not necessary to remove all your clothing before entering your home.

7. Maintain a sense of normalcy-

During these crazy times, it may be challenging to continue your day as you normally would with some modifications, so this could require adding a little creativity. Before the pandemic, you may have gone to the gym for your workout, but now you have to work out in your home. Instead of dinner out with friends, maybe you have dinner or drinks by a video platform. Continuing life with a structure to our day and any type of an appearance of normalcy will help reduce any additional anxieties.

8. Show kindness for yourself and others-

During a time of national crisis, it is normal to feel anxious and worried. Remember while you are having these feelings, people you know are probably having the same feelings. Reaching out to family, friends, and neighbors who have been isolated, the same as all the rest of us may need a little boost in their spirits. Sometimes a simple phone call will not only heighten our spirits but also improve the person on the other end of the phone mood as well. If you are currently unemployed because of the pandemic, your new job is to have faith that this storm in life will pass and something new will come along and everything will work out for the best!

I meant to have this post out yesterday, but obviously wasn’t able to. For some unknown reason I had a lack in motivation and also continued getting distracted with many other things. I guess maybe it was the mixture of emotions I am feeling for starting my new job Monday. I am not overly nervous or excited; it is pretty much a good balance between the two. I have been out of work for many months now and honestly I have not ever worked from home on a permanent basis. I know I will be able to handle the work from home status well because I have always been extremely organized and disciplined. I did work in the same industry my work from home job is for several years prior to my husband and I relocated and did very well with it. If I am not mistaken the work I am going to be doing is almost exactly the same, but I have heard from a reliable resource that my new company is far more organized than the company I worked for previously.

Thank you for stopping by my site today and I do hope this information was helpful for you! I did only list 8 possible stress relieving ideas, but I do know there are many more and you probably already have some. I do hope you will share your thoughts on this important topic because it will help anyone that reads this. I hope your week is going well, you are feeling the best you possibly can, and you are continuing to remain safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday!

The best way to start the new week is positively!

Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a lovely weekend and of course, you stayed safe! The best way to begin the week is with a positive mindset. Of course, leaving the weekend behind isn’t always easy, but this is going to be a great week for all of us! It is far better to think this way than to think it is going to be a terrible week, right? We are the only ones that can guide our weeks in a happy and positive way.

As we begin a brand new week, we are offered a fresh start to enjoy life and appreciate all that we have! Of course, not every week is going to go smoothly or be favorable, but we do not need to decide this before the week has truly started! Most of the time, if we think our week is going to be good, our week will be just that!

Y’all know that I think one of the ways to start the week is with a motivational quote! I found the quote I am sharing with y’all uplifting and motivating, which I hope you will as well. Once you read this quote, I would love to know what your thoughts are. Did you find it motivating? Your thoughts are always valuable and I enjoy reading them!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today! I hope you have a wonderful day and your week only improves as the days carry on. While we are starting a new week, please do not forget to utilize the safety measures experts have recommended. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Finding Comfort Within Yourself

It certainly seems the insanely southern summer heat is making its appearance with powerful domination. Summer technically does not begin until June 20th and yet where I live has already experienced 90-degree temperatures. I wonder what that means for us when it is actually summer.

The summer season provides me with one of my favorite places in the world to be at, the beach! The sounds, scents, and sights that are not only breathtakingly beautiful but also extraordinarily relaxing and alleviates any stress or tension that is being felt. If you are anything like me, you find the thoughts of wearing a bikini to be dreadful. After wearing oversized sweaters and hoodies during the autumn and winter months, the sheer idea of having to be exposed in a bathing suit in the summer is very disturbing. I guess this happens to me every year, but this year seems far worse. We have just spent the last few months being confined to our homes and not being physically active. I don’t know about you but I can feel and see the weight I have gained and it is awful. Of course, my husband tells me I am crazy and haven’t gained anything, but men are wrong a lot of the time and this is a prime example. Truthfully, I have always been very self-conscious of my weight and normally beyond critical of my appearance. I know how vain this sounds, but I am not really vain just hard on myself and have ridiculously high expectations and standards for myself.

Unfortunately, our bodies will inevitably undergo constant changes during the course of our lives. As we get older there may be changes to do not care for, but they are going to happen regardless of if we want them to or not. We need to start now finding ways to feel comfortable in our skin because life is too short to remain consumed with the changes to our appearances.

Throughout the remainder of this post, I am going to share several tips to help all of us feel more at ease in our skin and the body it covers.

Acknowledge that we are always changing-

The most critical thing to understand is we will always be changing during our lives. The only way we will feel comfortable within our skin are to become comfortable in the ways we will be changing. Both our outer appearances and inner-self will go through changes. Our self-conceptions, which are the thoughts and ways we see ourselves will shirt during our lives with each experience we go through. These shifts are unavoidable and should be accepted instead of resisting them.

Don’t hold onto the old you-

There are times when we see the changes we have gone through when looking in the mirror and still don’t want to accept them. Some days it is hard to recognize ourselves after there were numerous changes. This is mainly in regards to our physical appearances.

Aging is an unfriendly and unwelcome process that is both mentally and physically challenging. It is hard to become adjusted to our body’s new physique. If every time we look in the mirror to see our new reality and all we do is long for the times when we previously we were more physically fit and firm, we won’t ever find the comfort we need.

Don’t rush time-

There may be days we wish time would go by faster and we could reach our physical goals. For instance, say your goal is to lose 15lbs so you can fit into your old favorite pair of pants. This can be a very unsafe territory. When all we think about is the future will be better and we will feel confident again, we will never experience the joys in our present days. Life is too short and goals will be reached in their own time, so don’t wish away your days. Thinking the tomorrows will be better and happier could be giving us false beliefs.

LIVE LIFE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT!

Ignore the labels from the past-

Through the years we have all been given labels from other people. Some of these labels are unkind and malicious but were given by people with problems of their own to deal with. Some other labels were endearing and held onto. It is vital to try to not allow anyone or anything from our past to define the person we are today this includes all labels, kind of not.

Ignore other’s expectations for you-

This life is yours and only yours. You have the freedom to live your life the way you want. We all set expectations for ourselves that we want and should focus only on them. No matter who tries setting expectations for us, they should never matter or dictate our present or future.

Acknowledge what you like about yourself-

When we know the things we don’t like about ourselves in regards to our appearance and personality, we will focus solely on them. As opposed to obsessing about what we don’t like, we should try noticing the things we do like. Any qualities that cause us to feel good about ourselves should be our primary focal point. This could help us to stay positive and much happier.

Consider flaws in an area to improve and grow from-

What areas do you view as your flaws? Instead of only seeing them as flaws, use them to help yourself grow into a much stronger and confident person. No one can be good at everything they do or perfect, but there might be things that we can change for the better. Remember, if there are things that be can’t be change, it is okay and we need to learn how to accept them.

Recognize the benefits you offer-

Each and every one of us has skills, talents, and distinctive views that make us individuals with a lot of worth and value. Try to acknowledge all the magnificent things you bring to the world and learn how to treasure them.

Quit seeking approval from others-

We all tend to want to fit in with the people we spend our time with or obtain approval from certain influential people in the community. If we are looking for acceptance for how we do something from others, we are not accepting ourselves or our talents, therefore, will never feel comfort within ourselves.

Don’t worry what others think about you-

The best and most effective way to avoid having approval-seeking behavior is to stop caring what others think of us. The very core of this approach is to separate the thoughts others have from our own.

Surround yourself with those that accept you for who you are-

Once we are around people that do not judge or crucify us for what we do and or believe in, we will not have to waste our precious time and energy being concerned with what others are thinking. Not only will those we are spending our time enjoy time together more, but we will find it more enjoyable as well.

Now, can you envision how incredibly freeing this could be?

Practice being alone-

We may find spending time alone uncomfortable, but should never avoid it. Exposure to seclusion can provide us with the necessary time, and the peace and quiet to concentrate on our thoughts. These times of self-reflection can authorize us to determine what we are doing and thinking that contributes to our feelings of unease. When we spend time along we can put everyone and everything out of our minds and focus solely on ourselves. During the times we are alone, we can be who we are without worries of what others may think.

Don’t say “YES” when you mean “NO”-

Do not allow anyone to pressure us into doing anything we do not want to do. While it can be beneficial to push ourselves past our comfort zone at certain times, if we do things that do not appeal to us, we will only be contributing to feelings of discomfort. Keep in mind it is okay to say “NO”.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information that was provided was helpful and will benefit you or someone you know. If you have any additional tips you would like to share I am sure they will help anyone that reads them. Please know that I will respond to all comments within 24-hours, but hopefully sooner than that! I hope your day is going well, you are feeling the best you can, and you are remaining safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Boundaries and how to set them

Do you ever feel trapped within other people’s problems because they constantly lean on you for either advice or help? Do your friends and even family know you will always lend an ear to whatever they are going through, even when it is self-inflicted? How many times has what whoever comes to you with their latest problem or problems did it make you feel an incredible amount of emotional pain that was almost suffocating?

The truth is I have never been able to turn my back on anything that was in distress and needed someone to talk to. It is not in my nature to tell someone I can or do not have time to listen and attempt to help them. Is it even possible to avoid becoming emotionally involved when an individual you care about is struggling? Even though we do always want to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, solicitous, and caring, there can come a time when we need to consider our own well-being over another’s.

I am sure that everyone has heard about the importance of developing personal boundaries and has probably implemented them by now. Even though I am very aware of the fact I need to set boundaries, but I have yet to execute any what-so-ever. I guess the reason I decided to write about boundaries is that I need and want to learn how to set boundaries before losing too much too myself and feeling resentful way too frequently.

We all have our limits to what we are willing and able to cope with, after all, we are only human and unfortunately do not have magical powers. How many times throughout your life have your friends, co-workers, or family pushed far beyond the limits you are willing to deal with? I can say without hesitation that I don’t think I can count the number of times using both my fingers and toes. Once you have been unsuccessful in separating yourself from what others are going through as much as I have, you are going to want to find change. Often the changes we desire to make are not easy and can be outright frustrating, but with enough perseverance anything is possible!

I have heard many people talk about how crucial it is to have boundaries in all of our relationships. With that said, how would you define boundaries? It is my understanding that boundaries are the limits we put in place with other people. These boundaries specify what we find to be both acceptable and unacceptable in the way others behave towards us.

Our capability of knowing our boundaries typically comes from our sense of self-worth or evaluating one’s self in ways that are NOT dependent on anyone else or the feelings others may have towards another. Self-worth is about discovering the natural value of who we are, which helps our awareness of the following:

1. Intellectual Worth which means just like you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions, everyone else is as well.

2. Emotional Worth means you are entitled to your feelings towards any situation, everyone else should be given the same respect.

3. Physical Worth refers to no matter how broad the space is you are entitled to your personal space as do others.

4. Social Worth means just as you are entitled to your friends and the ability to pursue your social activities, so do others.

5. Spiritual Worth means just as you are entitled to your spiritual beliefs, so is everyone else.

To set boundaries it is important to fully understand that four different types which can be defined as the following:

Physical Boundaries are the easiest to define because they are external and seen.

These boundaries can be described as your office, your desk, your computer that is password-protected, and your money in your bank account, your car that is locked, and your body.

Over the years as I got older the one boundary I never had an issue with is my physical boundary. I do not like for people to come too close to me or put their hands on me. Concerning my personal boundaries, before social distancing, I do not want anyone invading the space between me and the length of my arms.

Mental Boundaries are regarding to our personal thoughts.

It is impossible for two people to always agree on everything all of the time. Each individual is entitled to their thoughts, opinions, values, and beliefs. We all want our mental boundaries respected, so we must reciprocate the same respect to others.

I can say that when I am having a conversation with someone that has opposing views than I have, I am stubborn enough to know I will not change my thought process. When discussing something I am extremely passionate about and believe strongly in, I will simply explain my reasoning to the other person and understand everyone is free to have their own beliefs and I will not try changing the other person.

Emotional Boundaries are what gives us the freedom to feel how we feel.

Setting healthy emotional boundaries has two distinct and beneficial purposes. They help prevent us from inflicting others with our emotion and unloading continuously on anyone that will listen, which later we will probably regret doing. Emotional boundaries assist us in managing our emotions in appropriate and healthy ways.

The other aspect of emotional boundaries is they prevent us from taking on and carrying other’s emotions that constantly share. The emotional boundaries we put in place are meant to disconnect our emotions from another person’s emotions, which is where I consistently fail. If someone close to me is struggling and distressed, I want more than anything to be able to help them with love, empathy, and advice. It is painfully difficult accepting that I can’t help or force them to do things I think are mortally right, they are the only person that can help themselves through their problems.

Spiritual Boundaries are protecting our beliefs and regarding to our sense of spirituality.

We are all entitled to believe in what we feel and we should never dismiss what anyone else believes, as no one else should dismiss ours.

Our personal boundaries come in three distinct categories which are defined as:

1. Healthy Boundaries meaning not only does a person value their opinion, but also do not compromise their values for anyone else. They are also welcoming and accepting when others say “NO” to them.

2. Rigid Boundaries are when a person avoids both intimate and has very few close relationships. Typically never asks for any help and often seems to be detached. Those with rigid boundaries distance themselves from others to avoid rejection.

3. Porous Boundaries are when individuals share too much personal information. Not only do those with this form of boundaries have a hard time saying “NO” to other’s requests, but they also become overly consumed with the problems other people are going through. These individuals tolerate abuse and or being disrespected.

If you already have established boundaries in your relationships, that is great and I applaud you for that. On the other hand, if you are like me and want to set boundaries in place for your well-being, I am glad that I am not alone and we can tackle this together. I have found various ways to implement boundaries, but I figure it is best to start easy. I am going to share the four simple steps for straight-forward boundaries.

1. Understand and recognize your limits-

Clearly describe your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries with all your relationships first. Take the time to scrutinize previous experiences when you felt unsettled, irritated, bitter, resentful, and or disappointed. It is reasonable the reason we felt this way was a result of your limits being violated.

2. Be assertive-

Taking time to create and explain your boundaries is a step in the right direction, but maintaining follow-through is also critical. When someone invades our boundaries the only they are going to know is if we are direct and assertive with that them.

3. Practice makes perfect-

Being assertive may not come naturally to you because you are worried people will view you as mean and or rude. When we confirm what our boundaries are it shows that you value yourself, your needs, and your feelings more than what others think. It does not indicate you are being rude or even mean when you are assertive; it actually means you are being honest and fair with the other person.

4. If all else fails, delete, ignore, and move on-

Of course, we need to voice what our boundaries are first and then follow an action plan. You do need to tie up any loose ends and given family, friends, co-workers, and whoever else about the cease to any promises previously made, and you no longer owe them anything more. Once you asserted yourself and made things crystal clear, if they choose to violate your boundaries, it is perfectly acceptable to simply ignore them.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you. Life is short and being constantly consumed with everyone else’s problems can be draining. I am hoping that developing boundaries, I will be less stressed and frustrated with the problems I hear about. I would love it if you have any other advice for anyone that wants to develop boundaries, you will share your knowledge! I hope your weekend is going well and you are staying very safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Bright Side of Negative Feelings

We have all heard that there is power in positive thinking, which I have always believed to be true. Even though we need to try finding the positive aspects of most situations we encounter in life, sometimes is still can be nearly impossible to not recognize and acknowledge our negative feelings. Do you think it is possible to maintain a positive mindset most of the time, but that it also isn’t healthy to ignore our negative feelings?

In this post I am going to share with you some critical reasons why we should not ignore our negative feelings when they appear, but instead embrace them.

1. Negative feelings can be viewed as a powerful warning method-

What does our fear do for us? Fear warns us of imminent danger and urges us to take action. Our negative feelings basically do the same and are acting as an alarm that signals possible harm in some form. This hard could be physical, emotional, or mental depending on what is going on in life.

We all pay attention when we feel fear, so why shouldn’t we embrace negative feelings? We should ask ourselves the question, why we are experiencing these negative emotions? Is there something we should be avoiding? Does this mean we should be taking another path in life?

2. Negative feelings are trying to tell us that something is NOT right-

I have just explained how our negative feelings notify us of possible danger, but they also can be warning that something in our life isn’t right. Maybe it is something in our relationship, our career, or something with our health, or even something we continue to put off has issues that we need to address. Often we should not view our negative feelings as merely a nuisance, but more as a good friend that has our best interests in mind.

3. Negative emotions can encourage us to take beneficial actions-

Unfortunately, we have all received bad news that caused us sadness. When this happens, what is the first thing we do? It is human nature to feel down and even feel sorry for ourselves. Instead of ignoring these negative feelings, it might be better to embrace them. Acknowledge the feelings we are experiencing and allow them to help us find a logical solution.

We should not deny or apologize for our negative emotions. Nor should we allow these negative emotions to paralyze us or overwhelm us. We are allowed to feel what we feel, whenever we feel what we feel and never dismiss those emotions. We are feeling how we feel for a reason and maybe we should explore them.

4. Negative feelings allow us to welcome and appreciate the good life has to offer-

How would you feel if everything in life went the same and was predictable? If every moment of our life was always happy and content, there would not be any negative feelings that would make the positive feelings more appreciated when they occur. All of us need to understand that no matter how much pain and distress we may deal with, life will also provide us with happiness and comfort.

5. Negative feelings provide us confirmation of what is important-

A well-founded signal you have come into your core values is when you have negative feelings. Maybe you violated one of your values or you failed to follow through with a promise and you are feeling guilty for this. Negative feelings are commonly a crucial assertion that we are honoring our beliefs, values, and views.

6. Negative feelings invite us to contemplate-

Allowing ourselves to have negative feelings allows us the opportunity to think deeply about things we did not give adequate time to previously. It is possible, we need to consider our health practices or spending habits or maybe something we have continued putting off for a long period, but are all things that need to be dealt with. Embracing and acknowledging our negative feelings may not be easy, but they are needed for our mental, physical, and emotional health.

7. Negative feelings can help protect us when we feel overburden-

Many of us tend to overdo things and push ourselves beyond the limits we are aware of. When we do over extend ourselves, we will hopefully begin feeling negative feelings such as frustration and irritability. These feelings are our body’s way to telling us to start facing ourselves and start limiting the amount of additional commitments we take on. We must listen to our inner voice and pay attention to the warnings our negative feelings are trying to notify us of.

8. Negative feelings offer healing-

We do not need to have thick skin or be referred to as overly sensitive; we just need to take time to heal when someone else causes us pain. If another person does or says something hurtful, it is very common to have negative feelings regarding the situation. Denying our feelings, no matter how negative they maybe will not speed up our healing process. This means it might be beneficial to use those negative feelings to promote our healing and take the time needed to do so without rushing ourselves.

9. Negative feelings will not allow a denial of reality-

It is important we know and understand that denying our feelings will not be a successful way to get over our negative feelings. Pretending something doesn’t bother us will never make that lie be the truth and could end up causing more issues and pain for the future. When something or someone causes us pain, it is perfectly fine to grieve the loss and disappointment. The only true way to get over disappointment and or hurt is the face the problem, mend the wounds, and move on with the life you deserve.

I hope the information in this post was beneficial for you, especially if you are going through a difficult time. It is never easy to face what has caused us pain, but we will be better off in the long run if we do so. I am sure there are several other ways that would be helpful and would love to read any comments you may have. The entire world is dealing with hard times right now and we all need to help and support one another. Until times get a little easier being kind, compassionate, and empathetic to what others are dealing is extremely important. I also wanted to say, please do not take this post as a negative, but to just say it is okay to have negative feelings because we are only human!

Thank you so much for visiting my site today. I hope you had a lovely week and you will enjoy a safe and happy weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Breakthrough the Barriers of Social Distancing

92101563_1597447863745824_3525203181490511669_nIt was not that long ago when simply going to the grocery store did not involve the fear of a new and potentially deadly virus. For the past several months we have been faced with a world-wide pandemic, stay at home orders, businesses closing their doors (hopefully temporarily), job losses, widespread fear for our health, mask, and gloves for protection, social distancing, and many other issues that have caused panic. Truthfully, I can’t even remember the last day I wasn’t terrified to leave the house or when social distancing was not practiced by most people and then getting frustrated when some do not respect the social distancing.

I feel confident saying that while I do understand the reasons behind social distancing, it Screen-Shot-2020-04-01-at-2.23.33-PMhas been very challenging and isolating. Granted, I do have my husband and two cats home with me (24/7), but let’s face it being home all the time with no changes can make anyone get irritable. I do love my husband and cats dearly, but sometimes I need a break.

I have found some ideas for activities that could help heighten our moods and encourage Boost-your-moodmotivation.

  1. Express and stay in touch-

Acts of kindness should always be something we try doing. With all everyone around the world is dealing with today a simple email or handwritten note to someone you know could offer a positive boost to their day. Think about memorable previous bosses or co-workers and send them a note. I know some previous bosses we were glad to be rid of, but I know I have at least one that I still miss and really enjoyed working with her. This person’s name is Mary Close Hall and she really was amazing! Offer to go to the grocery store or pharmacy for an elderly neighbor that struggles with getting out of the house during normal times. While in a store, either for yourself or a neighbor, thank those on the frontline and essential workers for what they are doing for the community.

  1. Stay connected digitally-Resources+2

Today’s technology has had extensive changes over the years. Millions of people around the world already rely heavily on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The social media platforms offer positive ways to stay connected virtually, while we continue to practice social distancing. People from various locations can interact with one another face-to-face, well a better way to say it is screen-to-screen. The possibilities are endless to stay connected safely with family and friends.

  1. Discover your creativeness-

creativenessTasks that are repetitious such as knitting or crocheting can create a meditative state of mind and relaxation in the body and brain. These meditative and relaxed feelings have also been known to decrease worry and negative thoughts. You do not need to have or run out and buy needles, crochet hooks, and of yarn there are many other forms or art that can reduce anxiety and even be uplifting for our moods.

  1. Learn a new language-language-2

While we are stuck at home with very limited interaction with others, we can be getting prepared for future travels. There are numerous apps and YouTube videos to help teach us a foreign language. We can make the most of the times of isolation and be thankful for the time we had to learn something new!

  1. Become Cultured-

WHAT'S_YOUR_LIFE_EXPERIENCES_SCORE-_(2)Now is a great time to explore art institutions and cultural events virtually. Back when things were not so complicated, did you ever think of or find the time to visit a museum virtually? I know that it never crossed my mind to expand my worldly knowledge from my living room, but now we all can try this. Google is a fantastic tool that can act as our tour guide to these exciting new experiences.

  1. Passion Projects-passion-project_4x

Is there anything you have wanted to try, but never found the time to do so? Maybe you want to write a short story, or a book, or learn more about your ancestry. Now is a good time to pursue these projects you have thought about for so long. While we are stuck at home and feeling beginning to feel anxious, diving into a long-term project can offer us a sense of purpose.

  1. Attend a virtual class or event-

physicalMany local attractions and studios are becoming creative and offering options for enjoyable free and digital experiences. I am listing a few free options for you and your family to check out and hope you enjoy them!

https://www.facebook.com/philadelphiazoo/

https://www.amrevmuseum.org/education-museum/students-and-teachers/virtual-field-trip

https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en&tab=pop

https://www.instagram.com/artwellphilly/

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/travel/a31784720/best-virtual-tours/

These are just a few examples of fun things we are able to do from the safety of our we are in this togetherhomes. Do you have any other suggestions of things we are able to do from home? I would love to read your thoughts and any advice you might have!

downloadThank you for visiting my site today. I hope your day is going well and you are feeling the best you can. Please continue to stay safe and take care of your health! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Interesting Individuality

Be differentWe are all extraordinary, rare, and complex puzzles made up of personality, experiences, comprehension, and emotions. Each person develops their viewpoints and beliefs system, which are mostly powered by their personal experiences in their life. No matter what choices we have made in life or which paths we choose to take along the way, all journeys can leave bruises that will help shape the person we have become.

We do not necessarily end up destined to a specific outcome. Every one of our qualities that make us who we are as an intriguing individual can be sharpened, refined, and increase growth as we continue on our life’s travels.different

What are the things about you that set you apart from anyone else? How many people have you met during your life to this point that has similar personality traits as yours? How many people have you come across that were polar opposite to yourself? A difference among everyone creates distinctiveness that can be interesting instead of monotonous and mundane. Opportunities of being exposed to the way other’s viewpoints and beliefs were initiated and how they affect that person’s daily existence.

Be uniqueWe all have characteristics and qualities that make us exceptional and fascinating. Numerous things will set us apart from anyone else we meet during our lives. I am going to describe 10 things that make us remarkably rare.

  1. Individual Personality-

Our personalities are a mixture of characteristics, attributes, and patterns influencingpersonality our behaviors, thoughts, motivations, and emotions. It steers individuals to continuously think, feel, and behave in particular ways.

Each positive and negative experience, all of our successes and weaknesses provide us with the wisdom that guides us through life. There is no one else that will respond the same way. Our perceptions and gained knowledge is distinct to only us and our choices.

  1. Individual Attitude-

Individuals attituteEach person’s attitudes are created by their personal thoughts. Attitudes dominate the ways we distinguish life and the behaviors of those we are surrounded by. Whether it be a positive or negative, attitudes can be very infectious and influential. Unfortunately, negative attitudes have a way of limiting what can be accomplished in life. Those that maintain a positive attitude can be successful and will also limit their time with others that have a neutral or negative attitude. Honestly, people with a constant negative attitude are mental draining to anyone they are around.

  1. Individual Experiences-

Without a doubt, all of our past and future experiences will influence and define our experiencesdistinct character. All of our experiences assist us in the ways we interact with others. It is common when someone goes through a negative experience in life to feel distressed, uptight, hostile, and or defensive when in hurtful circumstances and want to avoid the same issues occurring again. Those that try searching for positive experiences in order to gain a clearer understanding of the world, the other people in the world, and ways to discover a happy and fulfilled life are creating positive experiences. We never have to remain a prisoner by any negative experiences, but can gain additional wisdom from them.

  1. Individual Habits-

habitsHabits are practices, actions, and or behaviors we complete instinctively, allowing us to accomplish vital tasks such as brushing our teeth, taking a shower, and getting dressed for the day. We may do these simple good habits daily and not ever put much thought into them. Of course, there are bad habits some might do daily, such as eating unhealthy foods and not exercising which can make you feel constantly fatigued. Everyone can establish new habits to try improving their mental health and well-being, such as reading or meditating.

  1. Individuals Creativity-Creative Creativity Innovation Design Vision Concept

Creativity is an amazing way to express one’s self. There are various ways of creativeness ranging from painting, drawing, dancing, singing, writing, building, gardening landscapes, and anything else showing your unique creative side. Everyone from all walks of life has a form of creativity and there are no limits to the beauty within our creative visions.

  1. Individual Perspectives-

No one has experienced life the exact same way you have. No one perceives life the same way you do. The knowledge we gain during our life will never be the same to anyone else you talk to. No one else’s your perspectiveperceptions in life are right or wrong because all way of understanding is simply based on each individual.

  1. Individuals Taste-

There can be some similarities in taste among others we know. Our taste in foods, drinks, people we have relationships with, etc influence our lives. Each person’s tastes are mainly as aspect of our personalities. For instance, my husband and I both like pizza, but he like shrimp and I do not like any kind of shrimp at all.

  1. Individual Goals-goals

Each person’s goals influence the way they spend their time, energy, and efforts. Everyone puts time and energy into what they personally want out of life and how they want to be able to give back to the world. No one else has the exact same short, medium, or long-term goals as you do. These goals are what provide individuals with guidance, ambitions, and initiative in life.

  1. Individual’s Hobbies-

HOBBIES Activity Amusement Freetime InterestThe question regarding our hobbies is a common ice-breaker when meeting new people. Our hobbies do not necessarily define us as a person, but how we spend our time does let someone else know the kind of person we are and what provides us with happiness.

  1. Individual’s Passion-

Our passions offer us direction towards the goals we have. When we understand our passions they can show us a clear path that will lead by our values and perceptions of the world.passions

I hope you enjoyed the information in this post. I think it is interesting to learn about how other people view their life and the world. I think differences make the world go round and if we are all alike it would be a boring existence. What do you think?

downloadThank you for visiting my site today. Please remember to stay safe out there in the world because we are sadly not out of the woods from COVID-19 yet. I would love to read your thoughts on this and promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤