Life is a Journey

Life is a journey that is filled with wonderful experiences that we will always treasure and enjoy the memories. Life is not meant to be picture-perfect because we live in the real world. The hard part of facing reality is we are forced to encounter various challenges and struggles. The negative situations we endure and may wish never occurred or desire to alter the outcomes can create a learning experience we should not ignore. These situations do not have to be a permanent roadblock and can provide us with a strength we never knew was possible.

One of the many crucial things to understand is hatred and resentment only hinder us from living a happy and fulfilling life. Of course, there will always be others that cause us pain, sadness, disappointments, frustration, and even anger, but allowing those feelings to control us does not affect the other person as much as it does us. These feelings are poisonous and painfully infectious and are extremely unhealthy and dangerous way.

Many of the things that cause us the most anger and frustration are things we have no control over. If you think about the things that have caused you the most pain or aggravation, are you truly able to change anything besides the way you react? Even if one of the issues that cause you the most anger revolves around politics, we are told if we vote we can correct the issues we are witnessing. Logically, how true is this? Politicians are going to do as they please and have a way to convince voters they have their best interests at heart, but they have their own interests above anything else.

Volatile situations we encounter in our daily lives can create a sense of powerlessness and helplessness. We need to be able to determine the things that we do have control over and focus on those things and move past what we cannot control because they will suffocate us in the long run. Wasting time trying to change something we never had any control over is wasting precious time as life is short.

Once we understand what we can control, we might be able to make a difference in our lives and those around us. Things take time, patience, and pure determination. It is important to not give up if we fail on the first try but stand back up, dust ourselves off, try again, and learn from past experiences. The only true failure is giving up on what we can accomplish. We are powerful and can accomplish anything we set our minds to!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post, and it made you understand what you are capable of! I hope you are having a nice relaxing weekend. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~My Sunday Thoughts~

Sunday is the end of the weekend, which means we are starting to prepare for the upcoming week. Yes, I know we would all prefer to have an extended weekend, but even the long weekends never feel like enough! Even if you did not do anything exciting over the weekend, I hope you were able to get some well-deserved rest, so that you are as ready as you can be for the week that awaits us. With as exhausted as I was after last week, I still did not manage to catch up on any sleep. It never fails, no matter what time I go to bed, I still wake at the same time every day.

It is hard to depend on people because it just sets us up for disappointments, which is hard on the body, mind, and heart. I think we are lucky if we have a handful of people in our life that we know will never disappoint because they are true to their word and mean what they say. It is sad how many people have forgotten what it feels like to be let down by someone they care about or they do not care how others feel as much as they should. One of my mottos is to always treat others the way I want to be treated because I never want to cause someone pain from something I failed to do.

Are there certain things in life that you believe strongly in and they mean a lot to you? If you were in a crowded room and most people disagree with you, would you still stand up for what you believe or give in just to get along with everyone? Would you rather stand alone or be different? My answer to this will never change because I would rather be different rather than go against something that I believe in. I think being different is much better than being a sheep and not defending your beliefs!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and it all resonated with you. I hope you had a nice and safe weekend, and I look forward to reading your comments. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

Another Monday and another short week for me! How was your weekend? Technically, today is still part of my long weekend, so I am thrilled! Of course, being off from work for a few days means tomorrow will be crazy and probably a little stressful. The long weekend was supposed to be more than what it was, but at least I had some time to relax and unwind. Today is “supposed” to have something exciting happen, but I will keep you updated on that.

It is important to start each week with a positive and motivated mind, which I do know can be difficult. The world is a crazy place and that can cause too much anxiety. I am hoping the quote that I am sharing with providing you with a sense of motivation! With all the negativity that we see happening in the world, we need to try holding onto what matters to us. We need to be willing to learn and not ignore things that we do not understand. Other people may think in a different way than we do, but those are the people we can learn the most from!

Is there anything you are looking forward to or dreading this week? Disappointments are difficult and emotionally draining, but we all experience them. How do you handle disappointments? I feel like when we have high expectations for people, we are only setting ourselves up for pain. Honestly, most of the time I have low expectations for people because I am trying to protect my emotions. However, for people that are close to me, I still tend to have higher expectations. I guess I cannot blame anyone but myself when I get sad because I was let down by someone.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week starts well and only gets better with each day. Remember to try to not allow yourself to get overly stressed about the things you have no control over because you will only be hurting yourself. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Unintentional Break

It has been a few days since I have done a post and the reasons do not make a lot of sense. I took Friday off from work because it was my birthday. The last thing I wanted to do on my birthday was deal with frustrating and demanding people. I normally never work on my birthday because I think it should be a day to do what I want to do. Of course, I did not get to do most things I wanted to, but I did not wake up at 6:30 AM, which was nice!

Considering it was a day off during the week, I did take our older cat to the doctor on Friday only so he could continue to get his asthma medication prescribed. Even though his doctor is only about a mile and a half from our house, he HATES car rides and gets incredibly scared. It was good timing for him to go to the doctor because he seemed to not feel well. When I say this cat has many expressions and it is undeniable to not be able to read them, I mean it! It is heartbreaking when he does not feel well because I feel helpless☹. His appointment went well, and the doctor said that the issues he was experiencing were more than likely allergies which are intensified by his asthma. He has spent the last few days very lethargic, but he is finally starting to be more himself now😊!

Saturday was my 11th wedding anniversary. It is insane that we have been married for 11 years because it seems like yesterday when we were married. My husband and I had a beautiful and small wedding, which was the way we wanted it to be. I do still remember every second of the day we were married. Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to give me away, but we came up with our way to handle that and it was perfect😊. I did not want to walk down the entire aisle alone, so we met halfway, which I still think is a perfect way to start a marriage. I think a marriage should always give and take!

I am so thankful that we were married while my husband’s grandmother was still with us because she was an incredibly beautiful and loving lady, and I am honored and blessed to have known and loved her and be loved by her. My husband’s grandfather had passed away several years before our wedding, but his spirit was still felt there. A picture that was taken had a bubble that appeared to have a smiley face in it, which I still believe was his late grandfather. I did get emotional a few times that day. The first time was before I walked out the door to start walking down the aisle. I asked my maid of honor to look and see if my father was there. Unfortunately, he was not, and it broke my heart into pieces, but I had to keep it together because the wedding was about to start. I was also sad because my late grandfather was unable to be there, but I did feel his love.

Our wedding was amazing, and I am thankful for those that were able to attend. I was very happy and stress-free the day we were married, which is huge for me because I am normally a massive stress case! It has honestly taken me many years to get over the hurt I felt that day. I do understand why my late grandfather was unable to be there. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my late grandfather was a pro-golfer and there was an event for him the day I was married. Plus, he was living in Massachusetts, and I was in North Carolina. I do still struggle with the sadness, disappointment, hurt, and pain that my father did not come to see me get married. It has been 11 years and I am finally realizing, it was more his loss than mine and I am sorry for him that he missed the happiest day of my life.

I am off from work again tomorrow and we do have some fun plans made to celebrate both my birthday and our anniversary. We are going to do something I have been wanting to do for a while now but wanted to be sure I was not alone. I am finally going to be getting the daith piercing and I am extremely excited. Yes, I know it will hurt, but I deal with pain all the time anyways, so I do not think it could be any worse😊! I might also get the helix piercing as well because I think it looks cute!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and doing the things that make YOU happy! Weekends and life are SO short, so we need to try living life to the fullest! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to deal with manipulative people~

What does manipulation mean to you? The Webster’s Dictionary shows manipulation to mean a few different things, but for this post, it means, “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one’s advantage”. To your knowledge, has anyone in your life ever tried to manipulate you? If so, how did this make you feel and how did you handle it?

Unfortunately, manipulative people can be found anywhere. These people can be family, friends, co-workers, or even new people in your life. They are not always easy to detect because they can easily lie and deceive you. Although they are skillful in their deceptive and treacherous behaviors, they are careless and selfish with only their benefits in mind. 

Manipulative people know how to find your weaknesses, use them against you, and convince you to do what will benefit their interests. Some may attempt using positive tactics, such as disingenuous compliments and artificial closeness, but they typically use negative means like silent treatment, criticism, and emotional abuse. 

The feelings felt when being manipulated are unpleasant, to say the least. This can easily leave a person feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, and even betrayed. If you have even been on the receiving end of manipulation, please let this be a lesson and never treat another person in this way.

**Please note, I am not a psychologist, mental health professional, or medical professional in any way, but the following tips are what I discovered through research and I hope they will help you end manipulative people before they can hurt and deceive you**

Remember, NO means NO:

Learn how to say “NO” in a firm, calm, and diplomatic way. There is no need to add anything else to the conversation. When we offer any reason, it can just provide ammo for the person to use to get through your defenses and force you to say “yes”. Initially, the manipulative person may become irritated and persistently try to convince you of something other than what you have already stated. Do not allow their determination or pushy behavior to change your mind. Continue to say “NO” and they will eventually give up. 

Do not apologize automatically:

Manipulative people are skillful at turning the tables to make everything be your fault, even when in your heart you know it was not. These types of people are always the victim. Of course, we are all human and it may seem easier to apologize to keep the peace and end the conversation, but this will just provide them with more control. Stand your ground and know manipulative people will never take responsibility for their actions.

Do not react:

Although it is not easy, the more you defend yourself or explain your reasons, the farther you fall into their web of control. Manipulative people know the way you think and will take advantage of it. They will create drama and chaos and the more emotional you become, the calmer they will feel. They want to make you seem like the crazy one and they are sane. No matter how many accusations and criticisms they throw at you, try to walk away and simply say, “I am sorry you feel that way”.

Establish clear boundaries:

Manipulative people are drawn to and prey on people pleasers because their boundaries are often weaker. Boundaries are important in all relationships as lines are clearly drawn. If there is a manipulative person in your life that continues to cross even one of your boundaries, know when it is time to walk away and not engage further. Define ahead of time what the consequences are when the person continues to disrespect you and your boundaries.

Take time to make decisions:

Often a manipulative person will be forceful and demand an answer right away. Try to never cave into their pressure because it only gives them more control. Take as much time as you need to provide them with an answer.

Keep your distance: 

The best and most challenging thing to do is to cut these manipulative people out of your life because they will try to make you feel guilty. Sometimes ignoring the person is easier because they are unaware of what is going on.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information in this post will help you deal with a manipulative person in your life or at least prepare you to handle on if you ever are forced to. Life is not easy, and we always need to do what is best for us because it is our life! If you have dealt with this type of person before, I am interested to read about it and how you handled it or knew it was happening. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Traffic Light Of Life

Happy Friday eve. How has your week been? Honestly, mine has felt nearly unbearable and extremely exhausting. I am not sure if this has been due to work or personal life issues or an awful combination of the two. In all my years working, I have never felt so helpless and inadequate. It is not like the job is saving lives, discovering cures for diseases, or curing world hunger, so I cannot understand why everyone tries to make it seem that way. No job no matter what you do should make you feel like crawling under the desk and crying daily☹.

Have you ever asked yourself what life is or what it can be compared to? Life is like a traffic light. Life consists of stop, go, and yield, like the red, green, and yellow light. We all want a green light to keep going and get frustrated with a yellow or red light. The truth is, no matter what happens in life, things will always be changing and moving forward, even if it is slowly.

The way the past few weeks have been, I have felt like I have been at a constant red light. I know things happen for a reason and everything in life has a way of working out, but I need the light to turn green to make way for better days. There are always growing pains when starting a new job, but it has been a little over one month and it is time for the growing pains to end. I have always treated people fairly and never talked down to people when they had questions, so it does not make sense when people do.

On Friday eve, especially if you have had a week as I have had, we need something to pick our spirits up. Staying positive and spreading that positivity to others is critical. I got a message today from someone I worked with at my previous job saying she missed me and how positive I was. She said that I could always bring a smile to her face, even on a bad day. We all need people like that in our lives, whether it be a co-worker, friend, significant other, or anyone that is in our lives. I hope the quote I am sharing with y’all today with help lift your spirits.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are doing well and standing up for yourself whenever you need to. Thankfully, we only have one more day of this long week and the weekend will return. You do not have to have anything epic planned, but just something that makes you smile😊! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Bad day and shattered dreams

Today is our halfway point through the week, which is a good thing. Yesterday my day started early again, at 7:25 AM and I worked until 6:00 PM. My view of the day was negative from the start, and it might have been because I was sleep deprived. We were offered overtime at work, which I am always quick to say “yes” to. Honestly, I was a little discouraged at work because many times when I ask a question, I feel ignored because I do not get any answers. I have been dealing with a few challenging customers at work, which I can normally handle, but one was over the top difficult. I guess what made these customers extra challenging is because I had NO help!

After I finally decided to let go of my work frustrations, I saw an email regarding the ONE thing I have been looking forward to, meeting James Patterson. Sadly☹, the book signing and meeting with James Patterson is sold out. This was one of my dreams, to meet my favorite author and hopefully get a picture with him☹. This was the tip of the ice burg for me today, and I could not help but burst into tears. It is not like James Patterson goes on tour frequently, so this was a once in a lifetime event for me.

Of course, I am glad we are closer to Friday, but now not only do I feel discouraged but have nothing to look forward to. We often look forward to weekends or vacations, but I have not been anywhere fun and or exciting in years. The past few times we left town, the trip was miserable and a waste of time. The reasons for this are also upsetting and an enormous letdown. Life is aggravating enough living in pain 24 hours a day, so what has transpired in the past day was the icing on the cake of disappointments.

Thank you for visiting my site today and I am sorry it was not very positive. Life is hardly ever perfect, but we must have ways to release negative emotions. I know many people will not understand why missing out on meeting an author was so devastating to me, but we all have things that are meaningful to us that no one understands. I guess this is something that makes us unique. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Process of Forgiveness

Unfortunately, most of us have been profoundly hurt and disappointed by someone we trusted and cared about. Forgiveness can be extremely challenging because the emotions involved can be intense. Understanding that forgiveness is not for the other person, but for our peace and happiness does not make it easier. How can you forgive someone that caused you so much pain, whether they apologize or not? I have always thought the words “I am sorry”, are just empty words and even more so when the same situation happens repeatedly.

Before I continue, it is important to understand forgiveness does not mean we are excusing the other person’s behavior, or we are forgetting what occurred. We can forgive, but the mind is not able to forget the pain we felt. Forgiveness can release us from the control of the person that harmed us and offer peace to move on.

When someone we trust causes us pain, we often want retaliation and revenge. We desire to hurt that other person as deeply as we were hurt. This does not do any good for anyone involved and allows for a negative and endless cycle to continue that pain.c

The benefits of forgiveness are infinite. Letting go and releasing the anger and pain can improve our health and enable peace into our hearts and mind. Forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships, improved mental health, less anxiety and stress, fewer depression issues, a stronger immune system, and an improvement in our heart health and self-esteem.

The bigger question is, how do we forgive. This is a process that cannot be rushed. It takes time because the pain feels so raw. You first need to be able to talk through your feelings. Before we can forgive someone, we need to embrace the feelings and put them into words, so we understand them clearly and the person that caused the pain understands what the damage was done.

Finding the bright side of the painful situation will not be easy, especially at first. Once you have had space from the issue, you may be able to see what was gained from this experience. You may never find the benefit to the cruel and emotional situation, but chances are you will feel like a better person for the compassion and understanding you embraced.

The bigger hurts can take a lot to forgive. Instead of seeing every detail and every hurtful moment, try to start small and forgive the small issues first. It is natural to struggle with forgiveness, but we can become better and learn more by practicing forgiveness daily.

We must also decide if we want to forgive or not. This decision should be thought about clearly and not taken lightly. Will forgiveness strengthen the relationship, or will it destroy the relationship are just a few things to think about before you decide.

One thing I always do when I have been hurt is, I never go to bed angry. Anytime I tried to sleep when I was upset and hurt, I cannot sleep. I think we should never go to bed angry or leave the house angry because bad things happen when we least expect them.

Overall, I am decent with forgiveness. I will be honest with you, there are a few people in life that I struggle to forgive because of how awful and painful the experience was. There is one person I will never forgive because the situation went on for a long time and did immense damage to my life, but that person is no longer alive. I guess when someone is not alive, there is not a need to forgive is there? Other people in my life have done some detrimental things and I know holding onto the hurt is only doing further harm, but some things are impossible to let go of. I am working on this and know there will come a day I can forgive these people but will never forget the hurt.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading this post about forgiveness. When you have been hurt in the past, how did you get through the pain and forgive, or did you not decide to forgive? I am looking forward to reading your thoughts on this post and will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to overcome Omicron stresses

No matter what state or country you are living in, we have all been living through the fears of COVID. This has been causing stress and worry for two excruciatingly long years. The isolation, social distancing (which I like), Zoom meetings, concerns about the safety of the vaccines and which one to take, and the wellness of ourselves and our loved ones have been exhausting.

We have already endured several COVID variants before the latest one, Omicron. Obviously, Omicron has come along with various new issues of stress and even more uncertainty. Omicron has created additional levels of fatigue, hopelessness, depression, frustration, and annoyance.

Everyone around the world has watched the previous COVID surges on the news. Sadly, the Omicron variant has ingrained thoughts thought we will never regain a normal life again. The feelings of hope one moment, only to feel hopeless another can cause stress hormones to consume our bodies. This mostly leads to mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion.

Making it past the current surge and any others we may face in the future means protecting your physical and emotional health. The following steps I am going to share with you are a few ways to weather the storm.

Keep everything in perspective

Even though every day feels like Groundhog Day and things we were looking forward to are canceled or postponed due to an increase in infection rates, progress continues to be made daily. Omicron is extremely contagious, but those that are fully vaccinated have caused fewer hospitalizations and deaths than the previous variants. Also, those that are vaccinated and get COVID get much more mild symptoms.

Never stop looking forward

It can be frustrating and disappointing when something we are looking forward to is canceled or postponed, but the one thing the pandemic has taught us all is to be flexible. The truth is, we have all learned that moments of joy make eliminating Omicron crucial, and we are willing to do what it takes. Understanding an attitude of flexibility is critical and helps when we continue scheduling times to celebrate. Being flexible and at peace with acceptance are a necessity until we are past the COVID surges.

Think in smaller steps

It is easy to get caught up in our negative thoughts, such as things are never going to change, everything is so difficult, or I am so overwhelmed. It might be better to focus on the smaller concerns we are having. Once we are feeling more confident with our coping abilities, we can work on the bigger concerns we are experiencing. Maybe instead of trying to plan a get-together with the number of people we once did, try inviting one of two people to an outdoor activity. Most of us are used to Zoom meetings, so maybe connect with your friends in a group Zoom or Facebook call. This allows you to stay connected without the fears of COVID.

Remember self-care

A nice warm bubble bath can help to escape feelings of being anxious and overwhelmed. Taking time for yourself to rest and relax is crucial during these stressful times. You can take 30-45 minutes a day to get lost in one of your favorite books. This would be much-needed time away from hearing anything about the virus. Too much talk and thinking about the virus can create an overwhelming amount of stress and cause other health issues. 

I know things with COVID have been weighing on many minds and it is good to not focus too much on it and let it consume our lives. However, I did feel the information in this post was important and something we all needed to read. I hope everyone is being careful and follow the advice we all heard from the experts. This is NOT a political thing, it is a matter of life and death. I think we have already lost way too many people and it needs to stop. Unfortunately, we all know at least one person that has been sick with COVID and many have lost someone they care about. We need to stand together to put an END to COVID!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you had a nice, relaxing, and safe weekend and you are ready to tackle the week ahead of us. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared with you today and that it was helpful. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Knowing who is & isn’t a true friend

To all my amazing longtime followers and those of you visiting for the first time, thank you for reading this slightly different from my other posts. The post you are about to read was built from too much frustration and disappointments I have encountered within the last year or so. Of course, I do not enjoy being negative and writing about negativity, but I do think honesty is better than pretending everything is perfect and nothing bothers me.

I highly doubt I am the first person, the only one to see this, and certainly not the last. It seems anytime something negative enough to completely flip our life upside down and inside out occurs, those we may consider a “friend” show compassion and behaves as though they care about us, and what we are enduring. However, this is always short-lived and then they return to focusing on their #1, themselves. Please let me know what you think about this and if you think I am way off base.

It does not make sense to me, how many of my “friends” called and texted me for days and sometimes multiple times a day when I went through a hard situation. After a few days, it went from one extreme of calling and texting daily and then to the exact opposite, not one word for weeks. I find this type of behavior a little hurtful because friends are “supposed” to be there for one another.

I think it is the way my mind is wired. When someone I care about is going through something challenging, I cannot fake my concerns because they are real. I will call the person to check on them until their suffering improves. No, I do not and will not blow up their phone with calls or texts but will call a few times. I understand that people often need space and time to process difficult situations, but the person needs to know you are there if they need someone to vent to.

I do not think it has ever been easy to know which of our friends are true friends and which are just fake friends. The past two years have been painfully difficult for a few reasons. When I was laid off from my job in December, a few of my “friends” called to make sure I was handling it okay and was not letting stress take control of me and possibly making the Multiple Sclerosis to worsen. I cannot remember the last time I have spoken to any of these people, which is a little upsetting. I honestly have no idea to know who is a real friend who is always present to those who are fake and never present.

COVID has created too many challenges and isolation. Most of us have been trapped at home for two years and that is causing mental instabilities. Many are angry because they are doing what needs to do to end the spread of COVID and others continue refusing the vaccine. Their refusal is allowing COVID to mutate and produce more variants that may be more deadly.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. I hope you have had a nice and safe weekend. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! 

Always, Alyssa