Category Archives: Disappointments

Grudges and Forgiveness

Posted on by
6

Letting go of anger, bitterness, resentment, and grudges is easier said than done, especially when you have been holding onto it for too long. Unfortunately, many of us have been hurt by the words or actions of another during our lives. Maybe this was inflicted by a parent who disappointed or criticized you multiple times or a friend or partner that deceived you, or possibly you encountered a traumatic experience, such as a form of abuse during your life. Deep wounds from the past can create these negative emotions and so much more, but we do not have to be held prisoner by them.

The fact is that holding onto and dwelling on the pain will only cause you more heartache. When you can embrace forgiveness, you will feel peace and less pain. Embracing forgiveness may lead you to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

What does forgiveness mean? The actions that caused you emotional pain may always stay with you, but forgiveness can release and reduce the grip the resentment has on your heart and soul. Forgiveness can give you freedom from the control of the one that hurt you, In time, forgiveness may even provide you with a sense of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the person that hurt you.

When we are hurt by a person that we love and trust, it can be easy to hold a grudge. The feelings that are involved with this grudge can steam from anger, sadness, confusion, resentment, and hostility. Allowing these negative emotions to take hold and derail the positive thoughts can cause you to become overwhelmed with bitterness.

Holding onto a grudge can be toxic and have several negative effects on our lives. A few negative effects a grudge can impact our lives with may include:

~Carry anger and bitterness into new relationships

~You may become so consumed with your anger, you are unable to enjoy your life

~You may experience depression, irritability, and anxiety

~You forfeit valuable and rewarding connections with others

Letting go of a grudge you have carried and moving into a state of forgiveness is a commitment that takes practice and time but may offer you several benefits. Forgiving someone for their wrongdoings does not excuse their behaviors nor does it mean you will forget what happened, but this is necessary for your mental well-being.

A few benefits to forgiveness may include:

1. Building and maintaining healthier relationships

2. Improve our overall mental health

3. Reduce anxiety, stress, and hostility

4. Lessen symptoms of depression

5. Lower blood pressure

6. Maintain a strong immune system

7. Enhance self-esteem

8. Improve heart health

I hope you found this post helpful. I do try to not hold onto grudges, but there have been several times when I have failed miserably. It is not healthy and will only hinder you in life holding onto grudges and resentment whereas letting go and allowing for forgiveness will only free you from the negativity. I do not think it would cause anything negative if we try forgiving those that have wronged us. Again, this does not mean we will forget what happened, but it can allow us to be less burdened with negative emotions!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend doing what brings you the most joy and peace. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. There are many people that I can forgive for what they did wrong, but there is only ONE person that no matter how hard I try, I will NEVER forgive. Even though I am unable to find forgiveness in my heart, I do not allow this person’s wrongdoings to prevent my happiness. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! 

Always, Alyssa

Advertisement

Let It Go Friday

Posted on by
2

Guess what y’all, it is finally Friday!! I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way, but this week felt SO LONG! I know it was the same five days that each week is, but it felt much longer. Of course, it does not help that I was ready for Friday on Monday morning😊! The weather where I live was very messy yesterday. It rained all day, which made it appear darker than normal and a little chilly. Thankfully, I think the weekend is going to be a little nicer and hopefully, there will not be any rain! Even though the rain makes me hurt much worse, I would almost prefer it to rain on my days off because it gives me a reason to just stay nice and cozy on the couch with the cats!

After a week that felt super long, I think today will be the perfect day to try letting go of any negative feelings the week created. Our weekends are too short to bring any negativity in and much better left in the past. There are times in our lives when we have been disappointed by another too much and none of us deserve this. Walking away from those who have caused us so much pain from disappointments can be necessary for our own well-being. It is not easy, but often VERY much required because we all deserve happiness. It might be friends or family or just acquittances, it is okay to walk away from them! Please never feel guilty to walk away from someone in your life that caused you any kind of pain!

Now that the weekend is almost here, do you have anything planned for these next two days? Just because it is the weekend, it does not mean we have to have plans, it is completely okay to want to rest and recuperate from the week. I would like to work on what I am doing for the writing competition, catch up on some reading, and most of all catch up on sleep!! Of course, my cats do not understand this and will more than likely want me to get up at the same time so they can have their Fancy Feast treats. We will see though, I am just happy to not have to work and be forced to listen to people complain and make unreasonable demands!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and you found the quote helpful in letting go and walking away from the unnecessary upset. Hopefully, you will do something that makes you happy this weekend and whatever you do, you do so safely! I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I possibly can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! 

Always, Alyssa

~Happy Friday Eve~

Posted on by
1

Happy Friday eve, y’all! How has your week been and how ready for the weekend are you? I can say that I have been ready for the weekend since Monday morning or maybe even Sunday evening! I am sure it has something to do with having to drive on an awful road to go to my appointment on Tuesday, but this seems to have been a really LONG week! I normally do Pick-Me-Up Thursday posts, but I am doing things a little differently today because another post I am working I have been working on has me a little upset. I am hoping to have it completed soon, but I will give you a little information as to what it is about. I am writing about the horrendous treatment from law enforcement of unarmed Black Americans. This has had me upset because I cannot understand why this is continuing to occur. 

As I already mentioned, I am doing things slightly differently today and sharing a quote that I think is beneficial, but for various reasons. There are times when we all want alone time and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe we need time to clear our heads and think about random situations we have experienced. There might also be times when we want alone time to protect ourselves from further disappointments. Unfortunately, humans can disappoint us, some more than others. To be honest, there are some people I try to avoid because all they have done is disappoint me, which causes too much emotional pain.

Now that the weekend will be here soon, do you have any plans? The only plans I have are to finish the post I mentioned earlier, work on what I am doing for the writing competition, and hopefully sleep in at least one of the days. If I have any energy I need to burn off, I will work on cleaning the house. The weather continues to change daily, so there is no telling if it is going to be cold or warm. If it rains, that will be a wonderful time to rest with the cats on the couch and binge watch something on Netflix!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will do my best to respond as quickly as possible. Please stay tuned for the post I am working on and hope to have it published by Sunday. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared today and that you have a good day. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Letting Go Of The Past

Posted on by
3

Something everyone around the world has in common is, we all have a past. This can include positive and negative situations. Of course, we all enjoy remembering the positive things that happen and never want to forget those memories. Unfortunately, life is not perfect, and we encounter negative experiences during our lifetime. Although our first reaction to negative situations is to try forgetting them because they were traumatic and caused emotional pain and anxiety. There are better and more effective ways to handle those negative situations.

Instead of trying to ignore and forget about the past, it might be better and longer lasting to confront the past head-on. Confronting the past involved a conscious, dedicated choice to approach past emotional pain and begin to process them. When we continue trying to avoid the past, it is only going to circle back around. This will continuously force us to remember the pain over and over again, which is a vicious negative cycle.

There are numerous ways to confront the past and I am going to share some steps that I hope will help you. I do understand that you may have other ways that have helped you, which is great. Everyone deals with emotional pain and stress differently, so I would encourage you to share what has helped you face these issues.

One: Acceptance:

Accepting the traumatic events that were experienced is the first step and can be the most challenging step towards recovery. It depends on the severity of the trauma, but it may require professional help to overcome it and move forward. Mental health is critical to take care of before it escalates, so seeking guidance from a professional should not be viewed as a weakness and no one should feel shame from this.

Two: Consider the effects:

Any hurt we experience is going to include a reaction. We will gain additional wisdom that we must value. We should always try using what was learned from our painful experiences to have a better reaction when faced with future pain. Everything experienced in life is meant to help us deal with similar situations that we may encounter, and they are all learning opportunities. These opportunities are a gift to help us handle complicated situations we may endure and should not be viewed as a punishment, but more as a benefit.

Three: Distance:

We have all heard that sometimes it is necessary to distance ourselves from negative situations or toxic people in our life. It has been suggested by psychologists, that distance from a situation or the individual causing us to feel upset or stressed can help with letting go because we are not around the individual or situation and not forced to think about whatever is causing us to be upset. Often, we need space and time to process things on our terms.

Four: Allow yourself time to let the negative feeling flow:

We may try to avoid negative feelings out of fear but understand this is normal. Many people are in fear of feeling such as anger, grief, sadness, and disappointment, but these are common and natural feelings to experience once you have been hurt. It is okay to take time alone to let your tears flow or scream your frustration and anger out when no one is around. This release may severe you well and you are one step closer to recovery. If you do not want to scream or cry your feelings out, you can try writing a letter that you do not plan to send to whatever has you upset.

Five: Accept you may never get an apology:

Waiting for another person to accept responsibility for hurting you and apologizing can be a wasted energy. If you wait for an apology, it will only slow the progress of letting go down. It is not easy to understand why people are so unwilling to accept responsibility for the wrongs they do, but unfortunately, it is the way things are and we deserve the chance to let go so we can be happy!

We have almost made it to the end of the week, and I know we are all looking forward to the weekend. I know I have talked about this before, but PLEASE if you have not already been vaccinated for COVID, PLEASE do so. The vaccine can save lives and we all should be wearing masks when in public places to keep ourselves and others safe from getting COVID. Over the past years, too many have lost their lives and this COULD have been avoided. My mother and her husband, both are vaccinated have recently been diagnosed with COVID. I am thankful they were both vaccinated because that might have saved their lives! Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers! 

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information I have shared will be beneficial for you and if you have other advice, I do wish you would share it. Life is challenging and we do not need additional stresses added to our lives because it is not worth it. It is so important that we try to be understanding towards what others might be going through and know there are probably things we do not know about. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Life is a Journey

Posted on by
1

Life is a journey that is filled with wonderful experiences that we will always treasure and enjoy the memories. Life is not meant to be picture-perfect because we live in the real world. The hard part of facing reality is we are forced to encounter various challenges and struggles. The negative situations we endure and may wish never occurred or desire to alter the outcomes can create a learning experience we should not ignore. These situations do not have to be a permanent roadblock and can provide us with a strength we never knew was possible.

One of the many crucial things to understand is hatred and resentment only hinder us from living a happy and fulfilling life. Of course, there will always be others that cause us pain, sadness, disappointments, frustration, and even anger, but allowing those feelings to control us does not affect the other person as much as it does us. These feelings are poisonous and painfully infectious and are extremely unhealthy and dangerous way.

Many of the things that cause us the most anger and frustration are things we have no control over. If you think about the things that have caused you the most pain or aggravation, are you truly able to change anything besides the way you react? Even if one of the issues that cause you the most anger revolves around politics, we are told if we vote we can correct the issues we are witnessing. Logically, how true is this? Politicians are going to do as they please and have a way to convince voters they have their best interests at heart, but they have their own interests above anything else.

Volatile situations we encounter in our daily lives can create a sense of powerlessness and helplessness. We need to be able to determine the things that we do have control over and focus on those things and move past what we cannot control because they will suffocate us in the long run. Wasting time trying to change something we never had any control over is wasting precious time as life is short.

Once we understand what we can control, we might be able to make a difference in our lives and those around us. Things take time, patience, and pure determination. It is important to not give up if we fail on the first try but stand back up, dust ourselves off, try again, and learn from past experiences. The only true failure is giving up on what we can accomplish. We are powerful and can accomplish anything we set our minds to!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post, and it made you understand what you are capable of! I hope you are having a nice relaxing weekend. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~My Sunday Thoughts~

Posted on by
1

Sunday is the end of the weekend, which means we are starting to prepare for the upcoming week. Yes, I know we would all prefer to have an extended weekend, but even the long weekends never feel like enough! Even if you did not do anything exciting over the weekend, I hope you were able to get some well-deserved rest, so that you are as ready as you can be for the week that awaits us. With as exhausted as I was after last week, I still did not manage to catch up on any sleep. It never fails, no matter what time I go to bed, I still wake at the same time every day.

It is hard to depend on people because it just sets us up for disappointments, which is hard on the body, mind, and heart. I think we are lucky if we have a handful of people in our life that we know will never disappoint because they are true to their word and mean what they say. It is sad how many people have forgotten what it feels like to be let down by someone they care about or they do not care how others feel as much as they should. One of my mottos is to always treat others the way I want to be treated because I never want to cause someone pain from something I failed to do.

Are there certain things in life that you believe strongly in and they mean a lot to you? If you were in a crowded room and most people disagree with you, would you still stand up for what you believe or give in just to get along with everyone? Would you rather stand alone or be different? My answer to this will never change because I would rather be different rather than go against something that I believe in. I think being different is much better than being a sheep and not defending your beliefs!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and it all resonated with you. I hope you had a nice and safe weekend, and I look forward to reading your comments. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

Posted on by
1

Another Monday and another short week for me! How was your weekend? Technically, today is still part of my long weekend, so I am thrilled! Of course, being off from work for a few days means tomorrow will be crazy and probably a little stressful. The long weekend was supposed to be more than what it was, but at least I had some time to relax and unwind. Today is “supposed” to have something exciting happen, but I will keep you updated on that.

It is important to start each week with a positive and motivated mind, which I do know can be difficult. The world is a crazy place and that can cause too much anxiety. I am hoping the quote that I am sharing with providing you with a sense of motivation! With all the negativity that we see happening in the world, we need to try holding onto what matters to us. We need to be willing to learn and not ignore things that we do not understand. Other people may think in a different way than we do, but those are the people we can learn the most from!

Is there anything you are looking forward to or dreading this week? Disappointments are difficult and emotionally draining, but we all experience them. How do you handle disappointments? I feel like when we have high expectations for people, we are only setting ourselves up for pain. Honestly, most of the time I have low expectations for people because I am trying to protect my emotions. However, for people that are close to me, I still tend to have higher expectations. I guess I cannot blame anyone but myself when I get sad because I was let down by someone.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week starts well and only gets better with each day. Remember to try to not allow yourself to get overly stressed about the things you have no control over because you will only be hurting yourself. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Unintentional Break

Posted on by
2

It has been a few days since I have done a post and the reasons do not make a lot of sense. I took Friday off from work because it was my birthday. The last thing I wanted to do on my birthday was deal with frustrating and demanding people. I normally never work on my birthday because I think it should be a day to do what I want to do. Of course, I did not get to do most things I wanted to, but I did not wake up at 6:30 AM, which was nice!

Considering it was a day off during the week, I did take our older cat to the doctor on Friday only so he could continue to get his asthma medication prescribed. Even though his doctor is only about a mile and a half from our house, he HATES car rides and gets incredibly scared. It was good timing for him to go to the doctor because he seemed to not feel well. When I say this cat has many expressions and it is undeniable to not be able to read them, I mean it! It is heartbreaking when he does not feel well because I feel helpless☹. His appointment went well, and the doctor said that the issues he was experiencing were more than likely allergies which are intensified by his asthma. He has spent the last few days very lethargic, but he is finally starting to be more himself now😊!

Saturday was my 11th wedding anniversary. It is insane that we have been married for 11 years because it seems like yesterday when we were married. My husband and I had a beautiful and small wedding, which was the way we wanted it to be. I do still remember every second of the day we were married. Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to give me away, but we came up with our way to handle that and it was perfect😊. I did not want to walk down the entire aisle alone, so we met halfway, which I still think is a perfect way to start a marriage. I think a marriage should always give and take!

I am so thankful that we were married while my husband’s grandmother was still with us because she was an incredibly beautiful and loving lady, and I am honored and blessed to have known and loved her and be loved by her. My husband’s grandfather had passed away several years before our wedding, but his spirit was still felt there. A picture that was taken had a bubble that appeared to have a smiley face in it, which I still believe was his late grandfather. I did get emotional a few times that day. The first time was before I walked out the door to start walking down the aisle. I asked my maid of honor to look and see if my father was there. Unfortunately, he was not, and it broke my heart into pieces, but I had to keep it together because the wedding was about to start. I was also sad because my late grandfather was unable to be there, but I did feel his love.

Our wedding was amazing, and I am thankful for those that were able to attend. I was very happy and stress-free the day we were married, which is huge for me because I am normally a massive stress case! It has honestly taken me many years to get over the hurt I felt that day. I do understand why my late grandfather was unable to be there. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my late grandfather was a pro-golfer and there was an event for him the day I was married. Plus, he was living in Massachusetts, and I was in North Carolina. I do still struggle with the sadness, disappointment, hurt, and pain that my father did not come to see me get married. It has been 11 years and I am finally realizing, it was more his loss than mine and I am sorry for him that he missed the happiest day of my life.

I am off from work again tomorrow and we do have some fun plans made to celebrate both my birthday and our anniversary. We are going to do something I have been wanting to do for a while now but wanted to be sure I was not alone. I am finally going to be getting the daith piercing and I am extremely excited. Yes, I know it will hurt, but I deal with pain all the time anyways, so I do not think it could be any worse😊! I might also get the helix piercing as well because I think it looks cute!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and doing the things that make YOU happy! Weekends and life are SO short, so we need to try living life to the fullest! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to deal with manipulative people~

Posted on by
3

What does manipulation mean to you? The Webster’s Dictionary shows manipulation to mean a few different things, but for this post, it means, “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one’s advantage”. To your knowledge, has anyone in your life ever tried to manipulate you? If so, how did this make you feel and how did you handle it?

Unfortunately, manipulative people can be found anywhere. These people can be family, friends, co-workers, or even new people in your life. They are not always easy to detect because they can easily lie and deceive you. Although they are skillful in their deceptive and treacherous behaviors, they are careless and selfish with only their benefits in mind. 

Manipulative people know how to find your weaknesses, use them against you, and convince you to do what will benefit their interests. Some may attempt using positive tactics, such as disingenuous compliments and artificial closeness, but they typically use negative means like silent treatment, criticism, and emotional abuse. 

The feelings felt when being manipulated are unpleasant, to say the least. This can easily leave a person feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, and even betrayed. If you have even been on the receiving end of manipulation, please let this be a lesson and never treat another person in this way.

**Please note, I am not a psychologist, mental health professional, or medical professional in any way, but the following tips are what I discovered through research and I hope they will help you end manipulative people before they can hurt and deceive you**

Remember, NO means NO:

Learn how to say “NO” in a firm, calm, and diplomatic way. There is no need to add anything else to the conversation. When we offer any reason, it can just provide ammo for the person to use to get through your defenses and force you to say “yes”. Initially, the manipulative person may become irritated and persistently try to convince you of something other than what you have already stated. Do not allow their determination or pushy behavior to change your mind. Continue to say “NO” and they will eventually give up. 

Do not apologize automatically:

Manipulative people are skillful at turning the tables to make everything be your fault, even when in your heart you know it was not. These types of people are always the victim. Of course, we are all human and it may seem easier to apologize to keep the peace and end the conversation, but this will just provide them with more control. Stand your ground and know manipulative people will never take responsibility for their actions.

Do not react:

Although it is not easy, the more you defend yourself or explain your reasons, the farther you fall into their web of control. Manipulative people know the way you think and will take advantage of it. They will create drama and chaos and the more emotional you become, the calmer they will feel. They want to make you seem like the crazy one and they are sane. No matter how many accusations and criticisms they throw at you, try to walk away and simply say, “I am sorry you feel that way”.

Establish clear boundaries:

Manipulative people are drawn to and prey on people pleasers because their boundaries are often weaker. Boundaries are important in all relationships as lines are clearly drawn. If there is a manipulative person in your life that continues to cross even one of your boundaries, know when it is time to walk away and not engage further. Define ahead of time what the consequences are when the person continues to disrespect you and your boundaries.

Take time to make decisions:

Often a manipulative person will be forceful and demand an answer right away. Try to never cave into their pressure because it only gives them more control. Take as much time as you need to provide them with an answer.

Keep your distance: 

The best and most challenging thing to do is to cut these manipulative people out of your life because they will try to make you feel guilty. Sometimes ignoring the person is easier because they are unaware of what is going on.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information in this post will help you deal with a manipulative person in your life or at least prepare you to handle on if you ever are forced to. Life is not easy, and we always need to do what is best for us because it is our life! If you have dealt with this type of person before, I am interested to read about it and how you handled it or knew it was happening. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Traffic Light Of Life

Posted on by
1

Happy Friday eve. How has your week been? Honestly, mine has felt nearly unbearable and extremely exhausting. I am not sure if this has been due to work or personal life issues or an awful combination of the two. In all my years working, I have never felt so helpless and inadequate. It is not like the job is saving lives, discovering cures for diseases, or curing world hunger, so I cannot understand why everyone tries to make it seem that way. No job no matter what you do should make you feel like crawling under the desk and crying daily☹.

Have you ever asked yourself what life is or what it can be compared to? Life is like a traffic light. Life consists of stop, go, and yield, like the red, green, and yellow light. We all want a green light to keep going and get frustrated with a yellow or red light. The truth is, no matter what happens in life, things will always be changing and moving forward, even if it is slowly.

The way the past few weeks have been, I have felt like I have been at a constant red light. I know things happen for a reason and everything in life has a way of working out, but I need the light to turn green to make way for better days. There are always growing pains when starting a new job, but it has been a little over one month and it is time for the growing pains to end. I have always treated people fairly and never talked down to people when they had questions, so it does not make sense when people do.

On Friday eve, especially if you have had a week as I have had, we need something to pick our spirits up. Staying positive and spreading that positivity to others is critical. I got a message today from someone I worked with at my previous job saying she missed me and how positive I was. She said that I could always bring a smile to her face, even on a bad day. We all need people like that in our lives, whether it be a co-worker, friend, significant other, or anyone that is in our lives. I hope the quote I am sharing with y’all today with help lift your spirits.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are doing well and standing up for yourself whenever you need to. Thankfully, we only have one more day of this long week and the weekend will return. You do not have to have anything epic planned, but just something that makes you smile😊! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa