Category Archives: Loss

We will Remember this day

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On the morning of September 11, 2001, people were doing what they normally do, such as going to work and school, and were not in fear of a terrorist act that would take the lives of almost 3,000 people and injure 25,000. I think it is safe to say that most people, especially those living in the United States can remember this day twenty years ago. The events that took place were life-altering, chilling, and heart-wrenching, and were unnecessary. For some reason, what took place today two decades ago does not make sense to me but fills my mind with many questions that I know I will never have the answers to.

Considering this day continues sending chills down my spine, I think it is crucial to remember the events and cherish our lives. For each time frame of the events, I am going to share with you, I can remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, and what took place over for days, weeks, months, and years afterward. Do not worry, I will not go too in-depth, but will share just the key points.

In Boston, MA at Logan International Airport, American Airlines flight 11 departed 14 minutes late at 7:59 AM with 81 passengers and 11 crew members with their destination being Los Angeles International Airport. Sadly, at 8:46 AM, this airplane crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center in Lower Manhattan. When the news interrupted the radio station I was listening to with this tragic news, I thought there must have been a mistake, or I did not hear what was said correctly because all I could think was how could a plane crash into a building.

Another flight, American Airlines flight 175 departed 14 minutes late at 8:14 AM from the Logan International Airport in Boston, MA with a destination of Los Angeles International Airport. This flight had 56 passengers and 9 crew members on board, which crashed at 9:03 AM into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

As the news had not yet registered into the minds of people around the world, the terrifying news did not end and there was further devastating news to come. A third plane, American Airlines flight 77 that had 56 passengers and 6 crew members departed 10 minutes late from Washington Dulles International Airport and bound for Los Angeles International Airport. This plane crashed into the Western side of the Pentagon at 9:37 AM.

Unfortunately, most people are extremely worried about the lives of their families and trying to call them, but the cell towers were in overdrive and calls were not able to connect. This only created mass chaos because no one knew if there was going to be another plane crashing into another building and where it might happen. Large cities around the country were on alert, which considering at that time I was living in a large city with tall buildings I was panicking.

A fourth plane, United Airlines flight 93 that had 37 passengers and 7 crew members on board departed 42 minutes late from Newark International Airport, now called Newark Liberty Airport bound for San Francisco International Airport. It was later determined that the passengers on this flight had learned what happened at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and were trying to overpower the hijackers on board. Due to a fight in the cockpit, this flight crashed at 10:03 AM Southeast of Pittsburgh in Somerset Pennsylvania. It is not known where this plane’s target was, but it is believed the target was either the White House or the United States Capitol building.

There are many reasons the events of this day do not make sense to me. The United States has one of the strongest militaries in the world. The United States has fighter jets that can reach Mach 6.72 or 4,520 mph, which is more than five times the speed of sound. The reason the fighter jets were not scrambled to defeat these terrorist acts was disturbing because they were taking part in Exercise Vigilant Guardian. Why is it on the day the country is under attack, the fighter jets are doing an exercise and unable to intercept and put an end to this attack?

On the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attack on the United States, we need to remember the almost 3,000 people that lost their lives and the 25,000 people that suffered injuries. The people that were on the scene after these devastating events took place put their lives in danger to try to save the lives of others, which I do believe is heroic. We should also remember that people lost loved ones during this time, and some are still battling the effects of this 20 years later.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this is a rather sad post, but this is something we should keep in our hearts. I hope your weekend has begun the way you wanted, and you stay safe with anything you do over the weekend. As always, I do look forward to the opportunity to read your comments and I will respond to them as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The day that changed my life forever

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I can vividly remember this day eight years ago when the world lost an amazing soul. I remember exactly where I was, who I spoke to and what was said, and what occurred for days, weeks, months, and years later. My husband and I were gearing up for an anniversary trip to Florida and I had just left the tanning salon when I heard a voicemail from my uncle requesting that I call him. Considering I do not typically hear from him because over the years we grew apart, I was instantly concerned and immediately called him back.

The words that left my uncle’s mouth changed my life forever. My uncle was calling to inform me that my grandfather who I idolized had lost his battle with cancer. This news jarred my mind, heart, and soul because I had a deep connection and love for my grandfather. I guess I could say that in my mind, my grandfather could beat anything and would live forever, but that childish thought was proven to be very incorrect.

I always had an incredible amount of admiration for my late grandfather because he had a heart of goal and was extremely thoughtful, loving, fair, considerate, and much more. Much of the way my late grandfather was has been instilled into me, which I am and always will be forever thankful for. I do not think there will ever be a way to be as wonderful as he was, but I will never give up trying.

Unfortunately, I think it is normal for people to disappoint others, but my grandfather never once disappointed me. I could always count on this man because he loved his family so purely and deeply. His core values were inspiring, encouraging, motivating, honest, generous, optimistic, and so much more, which I hope to carry with me until I see him again.

Although my grandfather passed away eight years ago, his spirit will live on within my heart and soul for the rest of my life. I know that he is watching over me and even though I cannot hear his voice, I can feel his presence when I am going through difficult times. He has always been a voice of reason and logic, where is rare in the world today. At the lowest and most difficult times during my life, my grandfather’s voice would ring in my ears, and everything became much easier to handle. He even made being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was only 19 years old easier to tolerate.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday and the day he passed away, I have a difficult time. However, please do not mistake this because I will be forever thankful for the times I had with my grandfather and do feel like his life should be celebrated and I know he would not want me to be sad, but there is still an ache and emptiness in my heart from losing him.

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I think I have mentioned this in a previous post, but my grandfather was a writer for his local newspaper and was an amazing pro-golfer. I do not know the first thing about golf but would love to believe I get my love for writing from my grandfather. The only thing that helps me deal with my emotions, positive or negative is to write about them, which is the reason I am writing about my grandfather on the eight-year anniversary of his death. Writing may not always take the sting of the pain away, but it does help me to let everyone reading this post understand how wonderful and amazing my grandfather was. There will never be a day that I am not thankful to have had James Bucky O’Brien for a grandfather because some of my best qualities were derived from him.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I wish there was a way to express even more how much my grandfather meant to me and how much I hope I am making him proud of who I am today because this is extremely important to me. I do not think I will ever be half the person he was, but I will never give up trying to be the best part of myself I can be. I hope your week is going well and you are staying safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

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Happy and welcome to Monday, again. I hope y’all had a great weekend and you were able to enjoy every moment of it. I will be one of the first to admit, the weekend was not long enough and I am not completely ready for another week to begin, but it is happening whether we are ready or not. Logically I know that we should be thankful for each day, but Monday comes way too fast and the weekends fly by leaving most of us to wish we had just one more weekend day. I am sure no one will be surprised that I did not really do anything over the weekend, but unfortunately, I did have a really bad headache. It is a little ironic because I was working on a post about the different types of headaches and was not able to finish it because of a headache. The irony is a little funny, but more frustrating.

So, as we embark on another week some of us might not be ready for, I think a little motivation might be necessary. Each Monday provides us with an opportunity to try again on the goals we wish to accomplish. I think it is known and obvious that our goals are not going to be accomplished without us trying and never giving up, which takes both determination and discipline. The reason I choose this quote to share with y’all is that it resonated with me and the things I have gone through recently. Work has been a little chaotic and a little frustrating because there being so much change and no many answers. Also, I want to be able to accomplish one of the dreams I have had since I was younger and that is to someday write a book or at least have something I have written published. I feel like I owe this to myself and my late Grandfather who was not only a pro golfer but he was also a writer for his local paper.

Yesterday was Father’s day, which I did send my father, stepfather, and late Grandfather a message. Of course, my Grandfather is in heaven, but I put a post on his Facebook page for father’s day. If I am being completely honest, ever since my Grandfather passed away father’s day has been a little difficult and sad for me. My Grandfather was my hero, idol, and someone that I could always count on. He was someone that displayed kindness, love, equality, respect, and everything else that is wonderful every day of his life. I do not believe I will ever get over the loss of him but know that I will see him again someday.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have wrote and the quote I shared with y’all. I would love the chance to read what you thought and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. I hope you have a great day and that your week gets better with each day until we make it to the weekend again. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

My Weekend…..

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I hope y’all are having a good weekend and you are staying safe. I know we all look forward to the weekend because it gives us time to rest and recuperate from a long week. How is your weekend going so far? Did you have a good week? I do hope last week went well for you and your weekend is everything you want it to be. Last week was a mixture of stress and more stress for me, but at least that is in the past now!

My day on Thursday was a little stressful because it started at a consult with the endodontist that will be doing my root canal next week. I did not like this doctor right away because he was a little rude and extremely offensive. His assistant was sweet and told me that doctor was a straight shooter, but there is a fine line between being honest and rude. I told him right away that I knew my mouth was a mess because of all the medications I have been on due to my MS, mainly steroids when I had a relapse, and I was only concerned with the two teeth that were in pain. Instead of addressing my reason for being there, he went onto telling me I needed a good dentist that was not going to be terrified when they looked in my mouth. For someone that has HIGH anxiety with the dentist, this was not a good start.

My weekend did not start in the best way because our older cat, Sundance was not acting right on Saturday morning. I think it is safe to say that y’all know how much I love my cats and that I would do anything in the world for any of them, so seeing him being lethargic was extremely. Every morning Sundance gets two medications for his asthma and he takes them in a pill pocket, which he never has a problem with because he thinks they are treats. He would not eat the pill pockets and would not even purr like he always does. While in complete panic, I called his doctor’s office. The veterinarian called me back about 15 minutes later and said there was a cancellation and to bring him in. Typically, Sundance fights me when I try getting him in the carrier, but he did not fight me at all. His doctor’s office is only 1-2 miles from our house, so it does not take but a few minutes to get there, but he cries the entire way. Today, he did not make a peep, but I made it in record time because I might have been speeding.

With COVID, owners are not able to go into the office. So, I texted the number when we got there and waited. The vet tech, Sarah, is one of the nicest people I have ever met, and she was there last week when Sundance had to go for his yearly check-up. She came out and with her kind and understanding personality said to him, “Sundance, you were just here baby, what is going on?” Through my tears and hysteria, I filled her in on what was going on. She told me they would take good care of him and that I did the right thing to bring him in. She told me that she understands worrying about my baby because she is the same way and that she has an older cat that is going through chemo. I cannot even imagine how stressful that must be, but I appreciated her kindness and empathy.

After waiting about 15 minutes, but it felt more like an hour, Sarah came back out to explain what was going on with Sundance. She said his heart and lungs sounded great, but he had an exceedingly high temperature of 104.9. Sundance has a UTI, which could have been caused either by the stress of the two new kittens or the car ride last week to get to the doctor’s office. As I said, he hates being in the car and hates going to the doctor and he is a baby about things, especially when I cannot be with him. They gave him an antibiotic by injection, so I would not have to give him more pills. The antibiotic will work for 2 weeks and he should start feeling better soon. They also gave him pain medication, just to keep him comfortable. The vet tech and doctor said he will be sluggish from the pain medication, especially because this is the first time, he has had one.

My poor baby feels yucky

Once I got Sundance home, he just laid around and looked very confused. He still would not eat or drink, but just wanted to sleep and rest. The new kittens, Willow and Penelope tried getting close to him because they seemed concerned, which was sweet to see. I have tried leaving him alone because I did not want to upset him, but I did put his water dish close to him so he could drink when he wanted to.

I have always taken great care of our cats and it was torture seeing him not feel well. I hated not being able to help him feel better. I have never felt so helpless because there is nothing, I can do to speed up Sundance’s healing. I am glad we never had two leg children because I think I would be in the ER every other day. Of course, Sundance is not able to tell me how he is feeling, but I can tell from the look out of his eyes that he does not feel well.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading what I have written. Please keep Sundance in your thoughts and hope he feels better soon. I will keep an eye on him throughout the night and hope he is back to his normal self in the morning. Sundance has a huge personality and even though he is 10 years old, he still plays like a kitten. I think because of what we went through with Chloe in early February, I am overly cautious and on top of things. I have always been the type that worries, but our cats are like our children, so I worry even more. I will keep y’all updated on Sundance’s healing from his UTI and pray he gets better soon!

I hope the rest of your weekend goes well and you stay safe! I would love to know what you thought about this post and I will respond as quickly as I can. Considering I have been a ball of stress because of Sundance, the only way I can stay calm is to write about it. We all need an outlet in life, and this is mine! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes.

Always, Alyssa

Random acts of violence

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Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to hear about violence taking place in the United States. Anytime we turn on the TV there is at least one, if not more awful things happening. We are constantly hearing about mass shootings, cops killing unarmed people (most often black men), or other acts of violence where innocent people are dying Some people have become desensitized to the various amount of hate-filled violence that occurs, which these acts cause others vast levels of distress and despair.

When you combine isolation due to COVID and feelings of despair from the violence taking place, the emotional impact can be extremely intense. Of course, working from home is great, but I do feel very isolated and like I am on house arrest a lot. Situations like what happened with George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Rayshard Brooks, and countless others murdered by those that are “supposed” to protect and serve, the police cause me to feel anxious and angry and I am not an angry person. The case against Derek Chauvin, the police officer who murdered George Floyd in Minneapolis had me on edge. When I watched the verdict being read it did give me a glimmer of hope, but there is still a lot that needs to be done.

The recent and senseless mass shootings that have occurred in the United States are heart-wrenching. The one on March 16, in Atlanta GA at 3 spas left 8 people dead, 6 of which were women of Asian descent. It has been stated this murder rampage was due to anti-Asian racism, which does not make any sense to me. These women were innocent and simply doing their job to take care of their families. Atlanta, GA is only about two and a half hours from where I live, but these acts can happen anywhere because the levels of hate and racist behavior are exceedingly high. I do not understand why some many Americans have any issue with people of Asian descent because these people are NOT doing anything wrong or causing any harm to anyone else.

Only six days later, on March 22 in Boulder, CO another gunman went on a shooting rampage at a supermarket. This incident left 10 innocent people who were at a grocery store picking up items needed dead. People that knew this 21-year-old gunman said he was prone to anger problems and his arrest record showed where he assaulted a classmate in 2017. It was obvious this person had issues, so why was something not done to help him?

Less than a month later on April 15 in Indianapolis, IN at a FedEx facility a gunman started shooting people in the parking lot before he continued his shooting spree inside the building. This mass shooting left 8 innocent people dead before the gunman turned the gun onto himself. Not to sound insensitive, but if the end result was taking his own life, why did he not just do that in the beginning and leave the innocent people he killed alive?

There are no motives to make sense of these tragic deaths or to make it easier for the 26 families that lost a loved one. Even though there is not anything we can do for those affected by these events, there are ways we can help ourselves to cope better.

We have all been dealing with the pandemic for over a year now, often fearing for our safety, as well as for those we love because this virus is deadly. Then adding mass amounts of violence can shake communities to their foundations. Whether you live in the United States or another country, how do these situations make you feel? Some of us may feel like we are in danger if we just go to the grocery store or other normal activities outside the home. Other common reactions may include numbness and shock, difficulty making decisions, anger, inability to turn off the images seen on the news, tension, anxiety, loss of appetite, headaches, disturbed sleep and bad dreams, and or worry about future mass violence events.

Just knowing about these traumatic situations can be emotionally draining and cause you to feel unstable with typical life challenges. Issues with work, ongoing issues with the pandemic, financial struggles, or just staying on top of our daily activities can feel overwhelming and stressful. Try being kinder, patient, and more understanding with yourself because you are not alone.

Urgent do not forget to take care of yourself. Everyone reacts to these situations differently. It does not matter if an act of violence occurred where you live or on the other side of the world because our mind and body can react as if it were much closer. The following eight tips are ways we can practice self-care.

1. Safeguard your body’s needs by focusing on eating healthy, get proper amounts of sleep, and spending time outdoors.

2. Stay active in ways you are comfortable with. There is no need to push yourself too far and causing any extra stress on your body.

3. Embrace relaxation exercises such as meditation and relaxing breathing techniques.

4. Maintain a consistent bedtime routine to help you relax at night.

5. Collect information regarding the available mental health services and support.

6. Avoid using alcohol and drugs to help you cope.

7. Take the necessary breaks from watching the news on TV and or social media.

8. Give your attention to things you enjoy such as listening to music, walking, writing, other types of arts and crafts.

I know this post was not very uplifting or positive, but these are real issues the world is facing, and they are upsetting me tremendously. I do not like being negative or angry but wanted to bring these issues to everyone’s attention. This was not to upset anyone or ruin your day, so please forgive me.

I want to thank you for visiting my site today and reading this post. I hope you are having a good week and continuing to stay safe! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Adoption story

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~Welcoming Home Kittens~

Y’all might remember me telling you about our precious little cat, Chloe that passed away in early February and how painful this loss was for us. Our other cat Sundance missed his sister just as much as my husband and I do. The poor little guy was lonely, and we knew we were going to have to get him a friend to keep him company, especially when we were working. I looked online for kittens to adopt for several weeks and one that we thought was beautiful. I emailed about this kitten a few times and was told to apply online to be approved for adoption. I was no able to see anywhere on the page where the adoption application was, but I did not give up.

After following up on this several times and not getting anywhere, I was about to give up and move on. I decided to send one last email about the kitten we had found and finally received an email saying the application was somehow removed from the page, but they did email me the application. I completed the application right away and sent it back in. The next morning, which was on a Tuesday, I received an email stating we had been approved to adopt this precious kitten. We scheduled an appointment for the following Saturday to go meet the cat and make a final decision.

On Saturday, my husband and I loaded up the carrier and drove about an hour to meet this kitten. I am the type of person that tries to always be prepared, so I made sure we had the cash for the adoption fee with us. The moment we walked into the room; I fell in love with the kitten. The foster mother had another kitten with her as well that she was taking to PetSmart to be put up for adoption and she was so tiny and precious. As my husband and I were getting to know the kitten we went there to adopt, the other kitten walked right into the carrier and made herself comfortable. Of course, being an animal lover, I am I looked at my husband, who has a soft spot for cats, and asked him if we could adopt both kittens.

My husband hesitated for a few minutes and asked if I thought I could handle having three cats. We had two for so long and cats are easy to take care of, so immediately said it would not be a problem at all. It did not take long to convince him to adopt both little girl kittens. It did help that the foster mother said if when we got home it either became too much or our other cat did not take well, we could return one or both kittens.

When we finally made it home with both kittens in the carrier, our cat Sundance did not know what to think. I think he was a little overwhelmed because in all the years we have had him, he has never once hissed or made any aggressive movements, but he looked at the carrier and let out a big hissing sound. After we saw his initial reaction, we figured it would be best to do the introduction a little slower and gradual, so we locked the two girls up in the guest bedroom so they could all smell each other through the door for a few days. On the fourth day of their lock-up, we let them out of the room and let them roam free throughout the house.

It has been a little more than a week since we brought the girls home and things are going very well now. The larger kitten in this picture is about 10 months old and her name is Willow. The smaller kitten is about 7 months old, and her name is Penelope. Sundance and Penelope have become surprisingly good friends because she is not as standoffish as Willow. Penelope and Willow are both sweet kittens, but Willow is not nearly as sociable because she is rather shy. Penelope already allows Sundance to give her kisses on the top of her head just like he did with Chloe. He did attempt to kiss Willow, but she was not having that yet. Penelope makes her little self nice and comfortable at night by getting in bed with me, where she gets under the covers and lays her cute little head on my pillow with me.

I do believe we made a good decision by adopting both kittens and know all three cats will get along great! I will continue to do random updates on the progress with how the cats interact with one another. I never thought that we would end up with three cats, but I do not have any regrets. All three of them have their own little unique personalities and they are just precious and full of love! I am just curious, how many of you think we are insane for adopting 2 kittens and now have 3?

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read this post. I hope you enjoyed the post and the pretty kitty pictures, and I look forward to reading what you thought about it. Even though it is only Tuesday, I hope you are having a great week and you are staying safe! Although I have been vaccinated, if I do leave the house I still behave the same way I would if I had not been vaccinated. Some people probably think I am taking it a little too far, but COVID still makes me nervous. I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Brain Health with Multiple Sclerosis

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~Ways To Keep Your Brain Healthy~

Living with Multiple Sclerosis over the past twenty years has taught me a lot about strength, determination, and the power of the mind. Of course, I am always wanting to learn more about different ways to beat this unpredictable illness and I would like to share with y’all something that I learned with research. I have said this in previous posts, but feel it is important to say again, I am not a doctor or a medical professional and what I write about when discussing anything related to the medical field is based on my research.

It is common knowledge that Multiple Sclerosis is a neurological condition that affects the brain and nervous system. With that said, I am going to explain 5 approaches that can help protect our brain health.

1. See a neurologist:

A neurologist is a doctor that specializes in the nervous system, which includes the brain. There are several ways a neurologist can be helpful that include, but not limited to:

A . Monitor any progression of the condition we are dealing with.

B. Evaluate the treatment plan to ensure it is providing the best prevention of progression and or disability.

C. When necessary, recommend changes to the current treatment plan

D. Disclose information regarding any new and/or experimental treatment options.

I think it is crucial to have a neurologist you trust and are comfortable with because they are the ones helping prevent the progression of the specific disease. This type of specialist tends to have a personality of a gnat, but there is one out there for all of us. Over my 20 year stretch with Multiple Sclerosis, I have seen around 5 or 6 and at least 3 of them did not work because I did not trust their abilities, nor did I feel comfortable with them. You must feel comfortable and trust the specialist you see because your health is basically in their hands.

2. Discover the disease-modifying treatment (DMT) that works best for you:

Disease-modifying treatments are a class of medications that were designed to slow the progression of MS. These medications can help in several ways which include, but not limited to:

A. Ward off the growth of lesions on the brain and/or spinal cord

B. Decrease the frequency and seriousness of relapses.

C. Diminish the risk of disability.

The specialist you see should be able to explain the various types of DMT’s, which include explaining the potential benefits and risks of each. During my MS journey, I have tried several and found some that worked well for other people but did not work for me. I think it can be one of those trial-and-error situations. I learned quickly that I cannot do shots and it has nothing to do with the needle, as I do not have a fear of needles, but everything to do with the side effects I could not handle.

3. Be involved with Cognitive Rehabilitation:

Cognitive rehabilitation entails utilizing memory or learning exercises to improve cognitive functioning. These exercises have the potential to help many things which include the following: Memory, learning, and attention.

4. Find time for mentally stimulation activities:

If we try taking part in mentally stimulating activities daily, it can increase brain volume and expand our cognitive reserves. By doing these activities daily or at least every other day, they can help protect us from memory loss and other cognitive changes. Simply giving our brain a good workout with thought-provoking activities could prove to be fun and keep our brain healthy. It may be beneficial to make time in our schedule for something such as:

A. Complete a crossword puzzle, Sudoku puzzle, or any other word or numbers game. I love Sudoku puzzles but have never been good with crossword puzzles, but then again, I have not actually tried.

B. Read books, magazines, or other types of materials.

C. Write diary/journal entries, short stories, or poetry (all for your eyes only if you choose)

D. Paint, sculpt, or other types of work of art.

5. Try getting some exercise:

Getting a little regular physical activity is vital for our overall health. This does not mean we must join a gym and go every day; it can be something simple and easy to do at home. Exercise can possibly help with various things, such as:

A. Preserve OR increase brain volume.

B. Improve cognitive processing speed

C. Boost memory

D. Lessen fatigue.

E. Decrease the risk of depression.

I hope the information provided in this post was helpful for you or someone you know. It is important we do all we can to protect our brain health, which can help to prevent any additional challenges with Multiple Sclerosis. I decided 20 years ago when I was first diagnosed with this disease and promised my late Grandfather, I was not going to allow it to defeat me, and I would continue to fight until I lost the ability to do so which has not happened yet!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I always appreciate your continued support and enjoy reading your comments, which I do my best to respond as quickly as I can. I hope your week is going well and you are looking forward to the upcoming weekend, which is finally almost here! I do hope any plans you have for the weekend you will remain safe!! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thoughts of Chloe & an MRI

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~We will always miss Chloe~

Today, I am going to write about two different things. One topic is about today being three weeks since we lost our sweet little girl, Chloe. The second topic is the MRI I am being forced to get. Both topics are weighing heavily on my mind, so I need to write about them because that is how I cope with difficulties with life. The one thing that is and always will be a constant in our lives is challenging times. There is no way to avoid challenges, but we need to be able to address them head-on!

I think most of you already read my post about when we lost Chloe. I cannot believe it has already been three weeks since that precious little girl took her last breath. Even though this loss was extremely painful, and we are still struggling with losing her, we can find some comfort, and peace that we provided her with a wonderful life full of love. The Friday before Chloe passed, we had been informed by her doctor that she probably would not make it through the weekend. Of course, the offer was made we could have put her to sleep, but I am glad we decided not to, and she was able to pass in the comfort of her home and on my lap.

Tomorrow, after work on I am going to get an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging). If I remember correctly, my last MRI was almost three years ago, and while I was dealing with a relapse. Of course, this type of testing is non-invasive and does not include any pain. I am sure most of you have had an MRI in the past, so you know they are uncomfortable, in part because they seem longer than they are, and you cannot move, or the image will need to be done again.

The images generated from an MRI enable doctors to see lesions in the CNS (Central Nervous System). Depending on the type of damage and the scan used, lesions will show up as white or dark spots. An MRI will show damaged areas called lesions, or plaques on the brain or spinal cord and can be used to monitor disease activity or progression.

An MRI with contrast dye can show MS disease activity by showing a pattern consistent with inflammation of active demyelinating lesions. Contrast dye is a substance injected into the vein and used to make certain types of lesions show clearer on the MRI scan. Demyelinating lesions are a kind of lesion that is either new or increasing in size due to demyelination, which is damage to the myelin covering certain nerves. The images obtained with contrast can also indicate areas of permanent damage that will appear as dark holes in the brain.

I have resisted getting another MRI for several years for a few reasons. One reason being, they are insanely expensive, even with insurance. The estimate for the MRI I am getting tomorrow was $2,700. The price does not make sense to me because I do have insurance and almost makes me wonder what the point of is paying for healthcare insurance when I still have an outrageous out-of-pocket for everything. I have said this several times before, but I will say it again, the United States has some of the worst healthcare in the world.

Another reason I have resisted the MRI is that the results do not matter, and I am not changing my MS medication. I feel confident saying the Gilenya is doing what it is supposed to with slowing the progression of my MS. Medications I have been on previously did not work near as well and it could have been because I was not taking them like I was supposed to. I hated doing the medications that involved giving myself shots, so with the Gilenya being oral, it is easier!

The final reason I have been stubborn about getting the MRI is because of COVID. I am still worried about going into the imagining place, but I will be wearing my mask and stay as safe as I can. I am logical enough to know the MRI is needed, but I am not thrilled about going tomorrow. I do not want to hear what the results are because they always make me cry and it is not worth the emotions or stress, so I will have the results shared with my husband.

I hope you are having a nice and safe weekend! I know y’all have busy lives, but I appreciate you taking the time to visit my site today and read what I have written. I look forward to reading your comments and promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Leave Our Mark On This World

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We all leave a mark on this world and it is our choice what that mark is. I think it is important to remember that tomorrow is not promised to any of us, so we never know when our time on this earth will end. It has always been in my mind and thought process, we need to live each day as if it were our last day here in this world. The way we treat others might stay with that person long after we are gone and leave that person feeling down about themselves. We need to treat others with respect and love, instead of disrespect and ugliness.

I try to always view things from other’s perspectives. It is noticeably clear that everyone is different, which makes each experience we encounter a way to learn and grow. Of course, we are not going to agree with everyone’s way to view situations, but we can try to understand other viewpoints. Everything we undergo during our lifetime should continue to make us better than we were yesterday and help us to be more compassionate and empathetic.

It is crucial to decide how we want to be remembered because we only get one chance at this life. We do not have a rewind or a pause button, so the way we behave will be our legacy. We often fail to remember how short life is because we become desensitized to reality. In the United States alone, there have been over 510,000 deaths due to COVID-19 and yet there are still so many that are not taking this deadly virus as seriously as it needs to be.

If I were to ask you what you want your legacy to be, what would you say? Without having to think about it too deep, I know I want my legacy to be kind, compassionate, understanding, empathetic, fair, and thoughtful. I have always been the kind of person that puts everyone else’s needs ahead of my own and would stand up for anyone that could not stand up for themselves. In a world that seems to be increasingly full of hatred and greed, I do the best I can to not live my life under those terms.

2020 began under uncertain times due to the pandemic. I feel strongly that people showed their true colors, and they were not pretty colors. We all knew a virus was spreading rapidly throughout the world and to decrease the spread, certain things needed to occur. Staying home for a few weeks should not have been a challenging thing to do. I know how isolating staying at home felt, but it was these small sacrifices that could have made a huge difference.

When most people refused to just stay home for a few weeks, wearing masks was the next step. Of course, wearing a mask is not comfortable and feels rather suffocating, but to keep the spread limited it was necessary. I do not think many people understood that wearing a mask was to help keep others safe from the virus but to keep ourselves safe as well. There were many asymptomatic COVID carriers. This just means they did not have any of the typical COVID symptoms but were infected with the virus and spreading the virus to anyone they encountered.

As we are all still struggling to get COVID under control, many have been able to get vaccinated. Unfortunately, there is still a vast majority of the population that have not been vaccinated yet and are waiting for their time. To add more devastation to the world, the COVID virus has mutated into other variants. Regrettably, viruses naturally mutate over time, so it was not only a matter of when but how many others there would be. At this time, there are already three variants that are being researched. There is no way to know if everyone that was vaccinated from the COVID-19 virus will be safe from these other types or not.

As I just stated, there are already three variants to the COVID virus. Considering they are still new, there is so much to learn and there are knowledgeable scientists doing the research. Of course, wearing a mask is one of the best ways to avoid contracting these viruses, but it is still unsettling. I wanted to share a map of what viruses are in each state as of now. Please understand and remember how quickly COVID spread and know these variants will spread just as fast or faster.

I think if we have learned anything from COVID-19, it is awful things can and will happen. We would probably be naïve to think there will never be another pandemic again because it can happen at any time. At this point, it is not a matter of if it will happen again, it is when and will we be ready. My hopes are the world leaders will act accordingly and operate in a matter to save lives, instead of trying to downplay the situation.

I want to thank you for visiting my site today. I know you might not agree with everything I wrote and that is okay, but I would love the chance to read your comments. I can promise you that I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Let It Go Friday

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~Finally, Happy Friday!

I have some really wonderful and amazing news for y’all! Of course, this week has not been a great one because I went through another loss, my Grandmother passed away last Sunday, but the good news is this week is finally over! It does feel like the weeks are getting longer, but I guess it could be worse. The other issue with this week was, I had an awful headache that started on Tuesday evening and it did not ease up much. I am used to headaches, but they are no fun at all How was your week? I hope you had a good week and you are continuing to stay safe!

Now that the weekend is finally here, do you have any plans? This will not be a surprise to any of you, but I pretty much have nothing planned. The only thing I would like to do over the weekend is finally finishing two posts I started but was not able to complete because of the nasty headache, but I do not want to make any promises. Whatever plans you have for the weekend, please just stay safe. Not only is COVID not under control, but three new variants are evading the United States and many other countries as well.

Now that this week is just about over, we need to take this time to let go of anything negative that occurred during the week, so we can enjoy the short weekend! I am hoping the quote I am sharing with y’all today will offer you some comfort and help to let go of negative emotions. I am looking forward to reading your comments on the quote I am sharing and promise to respond as quickly as I can! I just want to quickly tell y’all why I love this quote as much as I do. Our life is so short and we do not know what it has in store for us. It is crucial to understand that tomorrow is not a promise and we need to enjoy the life we were given!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I hope you had a great week and you have a nice, and safe weekend! I am going to try to finish the few posts I started last week, and stick to my typical blogging schedule next week. Between the nasty headache I had and the loss of my Grandmother, I did not have enough energy to do my normal post, but I am going to get back on schedule. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa