Category Archives: Loss

What our strengths do for us daily

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If there is one thing I have learned in life, especially during the last few years it is we are born with internal strength. There are times we are fighting with a strength we did not realize we had, and it shows itself when needed the most.

Times we lose a loved one that we held dear to our hearts is painful. No matter how much we want to aid in their struggles, we are always left helpless. In 2013, I lost my grandfather who I idolized. Due to his graciousness and selflessness, I was unable to see him in his final days. I understand he did not want me to see him in the ways he was, as he was losing his fight with cancer. All these years later it is still painful, but I can carry his strength and will to fight in my heart.

Of course, it was beyond painful as I held our sweet cat, Chloe, as she took her final breath. We watched her grow and share so much love for almost sixteen years. Seeing the strength and fight she had internally, and refusal to give up was amazing. I believe she waited until she heard me tell her that she did not have to fight anymore, and it was okay to let go. I swear fifteen minutes after those words left my mouth, she listened and let go.

The years of dealing with all the pandemic stress have been exhausting. Many people I know and care about have had COVID, but thankfully are doing well. They are all continuing to take all precautions necessary to avoid getting the virus again. It has not been easy to feel like we have been under intense house arrest for nearly two years, but so far, my husband and I have avoided getting COVID. Missing out on vacations and celebrations out at a restaurant has been slightly depressing, but we view this as our chance for survival. There will be future vacations and celebrations in the years ahead!

As I have explained in a few recent posts, I did not take being laid off well. This was not a life-ending situation, as I am still alive. I continue having a roof over my head and many other blessings life has offered me. Regardless of whether some might think being laid off is not a big deal or not, it was extremely difficult for me to handle. I enjoyed my job because of the clients I worked with. The strength I know I have inside my heart took control of me without me realizing it because I did immediately start applying for jobs after the layoff, which I am assuming was because of my strength and refusing to just give up!

One of the most unexpected and challenging situations I have encountered was being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was still so young back in early 2013 when the doctor broke the news to me. Living with an unpredictable illness has been terrifying but has also forced me to embrace it because I know the MS is not going away. I believe this is the main reason why I am can roll with the punches in life and normally not miss a beat! I feel it is critical to look at life and any struggles we may deal with but understand that there are many things we do not have control over. When we identify what we cannot control, there is no need to stress about them.

Most recently, I have learned more about someone that has been in my life for years, but I hardly knew this person. My relationship with this person in my adult life began a little rough because I was not understanding or fair. I am thankful that I have had a chance to get to know someone I sort of knew as a child because as an adult I see him in a new light. I see how understanding, caring, kind, accepting, selfless, and giving this person is, and I am glad he is in my life. I am sharing this to help others learn when we give people a chance, they might surprise us and better our life!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared with y’all today and I am looking forward to your comments. I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. I hope you have a great day, and your week gets better with each day. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to overcome a negative mindset

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Since December 9, 2021, when I was laid off from my job, my mind has been on a continuous and endless downward spiral with negativity. It has been an incredibly frustrating and discouraging month. Logically, I do understand that there was nothing I did wrong to deserve the layoff, but that is not making this situation any easier.  Considering I have always tried finding the positive in all situations in life, it is difficult for me to process all the negative emotions I have been experiencing.

One month of struggling to not allow the negative and disappointing thoughts circling in my mind has been exhausting. Too often I feel as though I am drowning in the fierce rapids that continue pulling me down. I was good at my job and the clients enjoyed working with me and I enjoyed them as well. I keep reminding myself that my job did not define who I am and that I deserve to be treated better and with respect while at work.

I find it a little insane that I can be somewhat logical about some things, and it is impossible to let go of the illogical emotions surrounding the layoff. I have been applying for many jobs daily, all have been remote because I am still nervous about COVID. From what I understand, the latest variant Omicron is extremely contagious but does not appear to be as life-threatening as the other variants. I have read that those that are vaccinated and get COVID are just having mild symptoms. The symptoms of Omicron are similar to that of a common cold, which includes cough, fatigue or tiredness, and congestion, and a runny nose.

I am going to work towards trying to find my way out of the negative and draining mindset. I always used to do say it takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive. Through the rest of this post, I am going to share ways to deal with and break free from negative thoughts. We are human and it can be easy to fall into the negativity quicksand. There are always ways to break the cycle before drowning in our pessimistic mind, it just takes time and determination.

Surprisingly enough, one of the most beneficial ways to clear our heads and refocus is to spend time alone. It tends to be easy for introverts to spend time alone, but even extroverts can find this to be useful when they try. Under normal circumstances, I am an extrovert and enjoy the ability to meet and talk to others, but even with that said I do value time alone to get a better understanding of my thoughts.

Spending time alone helps me to contemplate life and any events that have occurred. It is especially helpful to focus my attention on the good aspects of life because even when they are challenging to see there are always good things that life offers all of us.

Remember to try keeping things in perspective. We are all going to face dilemmas or ordeals in life. During these times it is easy to feel overwhelmed and even defeated. It is in our human nature to fall into a negative mindset. The various struggles encountered in life can cause anyone to lose perspective.

We all tend to focus on the problems, instead of focusing on the solutions. This is when it is crucial to look at the bigger picture. No matter how difficult any situation is, there are still positive things happening around us. When we can focus on these, it will be much easier to overcome the negative mindset.

When we are going through troublesome times, it is important to talk to someone that is trusted. Sometimes, we may just need to vent our frustrations. This will help to lift the weight off our shoulders. Once we have talked openly and honestly with our trusted confidant, that person may help to keep this situation in perspective and eliminate negative emotions, which may help clear our negative mindset.

If I am being 100% honest and transparent, talking about what is causing me to feel negative is not easy for me. I do not like feeling as though I am burdening someone else with what I am going through in life, so I end up keeping my feeling buried deep down and all that does is cause problems to become worse and possibly create other issues. I can speak from experience when I say trying to ignore feelings is the most unhealthy way to be and I will urge you to try talking do someone!

Another concept that is important to understand is, we cannot expect everything to be perfect. If we convince ourselves through illogical ideals anything can ever be perfect, we are depriving ourselves of happiness. Trying to escape from a negative mindset will require us to fixate on realistic goals, instead of impracticable ones.

If you have never tried or even heard about the Displacement Theory, it might help to try this out! This is ending the patterns of negative thoughts by trying to replace the thoughts with something else. It is impossible to think of two things at the same time, simply choose something you would love to do and begin working towards only that! Allow the pursuit of a dream to replace the negative thoughts that are consuming your mind.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read this post. If anything, I have mentioned resonates with you, I would love to hear more about what you have gone through and how you handled things. As I have already mentioned, life is not easy, and it can take effort to overcome. Like always, I am looking forward to reading your comments and I promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

My Open Letter to 2021

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Dear 2021~

I wish I could say that I am sorry we will be parting in a few days, but I cannot do that and mean it. The truth is, it is not just you because there have been a few problematic years. It began at the beginning of 2020 when the pandemic invaded the world. I do realize it was not just the United States that experienced this, but the states certainly did not handle it in the best way for the country. I am not a politician, but if the Commander in Chief of the most powerful country in the world took it seriously, there would not have been such a massive amount of loss.

2021 did not begin most atrociously, but it certainly did not end well. We still endured many issues with COVID because many people refused to get a vaccine to prevent the spread. This never made sense to me because the vaccine was free and did not take but a few minutes to get. Yes, two vaccines are needed and to be done two weeks apart and now there is the booster (3rd vaccine). I understand people being hesitant because it was new, but the vaccine did not kill over 800,000 Americans and over four million people around the world as the virus did.

In 2021 we all had to deal with various issues due to the virus. One of them was the lockdown. Many people were only able to leave their homes to go to work and other necessities. Of course, this was a challenging couple of months, but it was also what we needed to do to stop the spread of the deadly virus. Staying home and not doing anything enjoyable was extremely isolating and frustrating. Now with that said, if everyone would have complied with this, is it possible this would have saved lives?

I am fully aware the massive amount of hate was nothing new, but it seemed to have been viewed more mainstream. I pride myself on being fair and equal, and never cared if my views were looked down on because this is something I am very passionate about. The levels of violence have been increasing over the past few years and I feel incredibly disturbed by this. We are almost in 2022, but many are behaving as if it were 1922, which makes no sense at all to me. Why are there still so many people that refuse to treat others as equals? Are we not all simply human beings? As far as I know, there is no one alive that is perfect, can walk on water, or do something else that is magical.

Of course, there was then that dreadful day of December 9th, when my company laid me off two weeks before Christmas. This was a very unpleasant and lousy situation to put on someone. During the miserable and appalling meeting, we were all told how much we were appreciated. How can someone lie like this and in the next statement say we were being laid off? It amazes me how some people can behave like this and still sleep at night. I will never understand how anyone can feel okay when they take someone’s livelihood from them. Yes, I know it is just business, but what a disgusting thing to do to someone.

I know you were just a number and that 2022 might not be much different, but I can hope for improvements. I used to say that it cannot get much worse, but things can always get worse. At this point in life, one thing I find to be crucial is to try being understanding and tolerant with others. People are always going to find a way to upset another, either intentionally or unintentionally and we cannot hold grudges. If everyone around the world could unite and try to help another when we can, the world would be a lot happier and more tolerable.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I know this post was not the most positive, but it is real and the way I have been feeling. I think it is extremely important to only share honest posts because I do not think I am the only one that feels like this, and we can help one another through these crazy times. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond to all of them as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

December 21st already

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It is already December 21st, the Winter Solstice and Christmas is only a few days away. There are several reasons it does not feel like Christmas to me. One reason might sound silly, but I grew up in the north where it was always a white Christmas. Even though I have been in the south for over twenty years, and it rarely snows, I still miss snow blanketing the ground on Christmas day. In a way it is good it does not snow in the southern state I am in because the smallest amount paralyzes the city and has people bombarding the stores for canned goods and leaving the shelves empty.

Another reason it does not feel like Christmas is that I am unemployed. This is not because of anything I did wrong, but due to my company thinking it was a great idea to lay off nearly 300 people two weeks before the holiday. As I already said in a previous post, there is never a good time to be laid off. I cannot help but think about those that had children and lost their job. Parents want to provide their children with a Merry Christmas and not have to consider returning gifts to be able to have a roof over their heads. They might also be deeply concerned about being able to have food on the table for their family.

In previous years, prior to the pandemic, we spent Christmas eve with my family and Christmas day with my husband’s family. Of course, last year we spent the holiday at home with each other and our cats which may have been a little sad. In the past two years, my mother has relocated and lives approximately 1,100 miles away so we will not be going to her home for Christmas eve. If it were not for safety reasons due to COVID, maybe I would have been able to fly to where she lives, but I am not risking my life to get on an airplane. Please understand this though, I think my mother is happy where she is now and the life, she is building is a good one for her, so I am over the mood happy for her.

Considering I am what some would call an overly emotional person, my heart breaks for the many people dealing with the loss of a loved one, a job, their home, or anything else meaningful to them. There has been far too much tragedy around the world. There is too much needless violence that continues to cause massive amounts of devastation. I do not and never will understand violence or selfishness because it does nothing good for anyone. I guess the way I view things is, it is almost 2022 and we should be evolving, but instead, it seems like many are devolving.

I do understand this post was not very positive, but I am just being open and real with you because I feel that is the only way to be. I have been told that I can be too honest and transparent, but I disagree. However, I would like to know what you think. Do you think anyone can ever be too honest? I had a phone interview yesterday, which I think went well. When the interviewer asked me questions, I told him that I am completely transparent and will always be honest anytime I am asked a question. I have told people before if they do not want to know what I think about something or how I feel, do not ask if you do not want an honest answer.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I do encourage you to leave a comment and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I possibly can. I hope you are doing well and staying safe as you prepare for the upcoming holiday. How are you planning to spend the holiday and are you ready for it to come? Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Handling a layoff at Christmas

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It is extremely unfortunate, but life tends to be accompanied by various challenges. Everything we go through in our life may seem life-altering and impossible to overcome at the time of the situation. It is critical to try seeing each experience in a logical mindset. If we attempt to process and analyze every challenge at the same time, it can become overwhelming. To avoid becoming overloaded with devastation, take your time to process what you have endured before reacting.

There will never be a good time to encounter any type of challenge. For instance, this past Thursday the mortgage company I was working for did a mass layoff. Although this was something I was expecting to happen, it was still traumatic news. Regrettably, I was one of many included in the layoffs.

Of course, there is never a good time to be laid off from a job, but Christmas time is an incredibly awful time. I have gone through so many emotions since Thursday afternoon and still am processing the atrocious news. The good thing is that I was as prepared as one can be to be laid off from their job. When I accepted the job, I knew it would always be a possibility to happen and I knew that I could not go without health insurance, so I am on my husband’s insurance. If I had to worry about insurance on top of looking for a job, my stress level would skyrocket to unhealthy levels.

I am not sure this is a good way to put it, but another reason I am luckier than others that went through this layoff is my husband and I do not have children. We do not have to worry about feeding children and other expenses that come with children. I cannot imagine what those that were laid off are going through losing a job so close to Christmas. I do know one of the people that were laid off was talking about returning the gifts she bought.

As I continue to try seeing the good things with this layoff, my husband and I live within our means. Meaning we do not have several car payments, a high mortgage, credit card debt, and other debts to worry about paying. I have always believed that we should all live within our means and try our best to have savings account for situations like layoffs.

Even though I am doing my best to stay positive, I do have my moments when I am extremely angry about this. My anger is higher than I would prefer it to be, especially because right before the “layoff” meeting I point blank asked my supervisor if layoffs were coming, which she lied about and said she did not even know what the meeting was about. I mean come on, anyone that would believe that is not being realistic. Along with the anger and often at the same time, I am sad and cry. I know anger and tears are not going to fix the issues, but I am working through the emotions at hand. No matter how hard I try to let go of my anger, I still think it is insensitive, selfish, and evil to do layoffs a couple of weeks away from Christmas.

I am trying to continue reminding myself that everything in life happens for a reason and there is something out there waiting for me that is better than the job I had. Of course, with the issues with COVID, I must find a job working from home. I cannot work in an office setting due to my immune system, so that might be a challenge. There was one good thing that came because of COVID and that is many companies are doing remote work because they realized with some industries, work can be done as easily at home as it is in an office and maybe even more effectively.

I was not going to write about my layoff because it is still so fresh in my mind and heart, but I wanted to share my story and hope it would help anyone else that goes through this type of situation. It is normal to go through many emotions when you lose a job, whether it be from a layoff or being fired. I want to tell y’all, any time one door closes another one opens and what is behind that door might be better and make you even happier. It is so important to know how much you are worth and how valuable you truly are!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is no matter how much you think you can trust a supervisor, you cannot because at the end of the day it is just business. I would love the chance to read your comments about this terrible experience and I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Pain of Loss

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All losses are tragic and painful. When we endure a loss, no matter how deep the pain is, people often try saying that time heals all wounds. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? I believe that everyone is unique and processes loss in their way. No one can tell another how they should heal from a loss or how long it should take them to let go of the pain and move on.

My dear sweet and loving grandfather passed away almost nine years ago. It was not until the afternoon of September 9, 2013, I understood how one single phone call could hold the power to shatter my heart and change my life forever. It still feels like it was yesterday when I received that life-altering call that my grandfather’s battle with cancer ended and he was at peace.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday, all I want to do is call him to wish him a happy birthday and it is heartbreaking that I cannot do that. Holidays will never feel the same without hearing the cheerfulness in his voice. I will always miss being able to call my grandfather randomly just to hear the latest family updates and any exciting news he had about his week.

Each year on the day my grandfather lost his battle with cancer and another angel was born, I relive losing him again. To this day, I cannot get through hearing the song he would sing while on a car ride without breaking down into tears. Seven Spanish Angels, by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson, will forever be special to me.

Almost ten months ago on February 7, 2021, my husband and I experienced an agonizing loss. Chloe was our special, sweet, loving, and beautiful cat that we had for nearly sixteen years. She was more than just a cat to us, but a LARGE part of our family. Chloe had an extraordinary soul and was full of love and personality. Throughout her life with us, she showed us unconditional love, happiness, and laughter. We have almost sixteen years of memories to hold on to and remember her fondly.

Chloe had healing powers and knew what and where I was hurting. She would lay on the area causing me pain until the pain would dissipate. Not one day goes by when I do not think about and miss Chloe. I still remember the only day she listened and followed my directions; it was when I told her she did not have to fight anymore, and she could let go. It was not but ten minutes later when she took her final breath.

I am sure everyone has heard that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Maybe that is a true statement, but what do you think? This saying sounds so clique with truth mixed in. The two losses I just explained broke my heart into a million pieces and my heart still is not whole again.

A huge part of me believes that my grandfather knew his battle with cancer was coming to an end, which is why he did not want me to go visit him. Even in his final days, he had my best interest in mind. I think he did not want me to see him struggling and have that be the way I remembered him. Regardless of anything else, I regret not being able to see him one last time. I was not able to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him and say my final goodbyes.

Even though I will always miss Chloe, I am thankful we were able to let her pass in her time and comfortably at home and on my lap. She spent her entire life surrounded by nothing but love. If there were anything I could have done to prolong her life without pain or struggles, I would have gladly done so.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading of what I am reminiscing about. Memories can be great, but also have sadness within them. I do cherish the memories I have of my late grandfather and Chloe but would give anything for one more day with both. I hope you have had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thankful today and always

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There are 365 days in every year, but only one day that is dedicated for everyone to show how and what they thankful they are. Why does there have to be a day to be thankful? Why can we not try to express how thankful we are the other 364 days during the year? We all have many things we should be thankful for but have come to expect things to stay the way they are and that our loved ones are always going to be there. The sad truth is things never stay the same and people do not live forever.

Some people that have not had to experience loss and have not had to go without people they cherish, or other things needed for survival for too long that it is to imagine being without. The only constants in life are that things are always changing, tragedy is relentless, and hits hard, and tomorrow is not a guarantee. No one knows when their time on this earth will end, which is why I have always believed we should live each day as if it were our last.

Unfortunately, there are too many families that lost someone they cared about and will never get a chance to tell them how much they meant to them. These families missed their opportunity to say their goodbyes to someone they cared deeply for due to a deadly virus or senseless and unnecessary violence, or reckless driving that ended in a tragic accident. I have already mentioned my views on the virus numerous times, so I think everyone knows how I feel and even if you disagree, there are ways to help end COVID. The violence that occurs is nothing new but is something that needs to stop because everyone is a human being with a beating heart.

During the last eighteen months, people around the world have experienced tremendous amounts of hardships and loss that no one could have anticipated. I think that all of this should serve us with a lesson to never take anything or anyone for granted. I know that life gets chaotic and exhausting, but we can all try a little harder and care a little deeper, so no one ever must question how we feel about them. Instead of showing our thanks only once a year, we should practice giving thanks daily.

Take some time to think about these questions for a few minutes, what are you the most thankful for in your life? Is there a person in your life that you cannot fathom being without? Is there anyone in your life that you have not spoken to in a while, but do care for? Besides a person, what else are you thankful for? Most important, remember that life is short and there is not a rewind or pause button.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read this post. I hope this post will help you to find ways to be and show how thankful you are daily. I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! I hope you and your family have a lovely and safe holiday!

Always, Alyssa

Fight off Pandemic Fatigue

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For almost two years, we have been forced to face a deadly pandemic. This was something no one could have imagined happening, but it did. This situation has plagued every inch of the world and left no area untouched. While the pandemic caused a great deal of uncertainly, sadness, loss, stress, learning ways to adapt to our new “normal”, and feelings of isolation.

The pandemic lift has allowed many to work from home, which is a benefit. Others might be learning how to stay on task working from home while helping their children with remote learning. The pandemic has brought on good changes but has also shown the true colors of so many. This part has not been pretty but has been a rude awakening.

Since the pandemic started most have experienced a type of fatigue we did not know existed. Through the rest of this post, I am going to explain three types of fatigue and a few ways we can counteract fatigue.

TYPES OF PANDEMIC FATIGUE:

1. Decision Fatigue- No one ever had to think about if it was safe to go out to dinner at their favorite restaurant before the pandemic. Unfortunately, now we must think about this as it is a life-or-death situation because it can be. We need to decide if it is safe to sit inside or safer to sit outside or if it is at all safe. Constantly worrying that the decisions we make will be wrong and cause illness or worst-case scenario death. The sad truth is our everyday choices are weighing on us and wearing us out.

2. Physical Fatigue- The many challenges we have encountered with the pandemic may be affecting our physical health in various ways. First off, the stress we are feeling could be causing falling asleep difficult or keeping us up at night. It is possible to feel overly stressed and our typical healthy coping mechanisms are not helping reduce the stress. This may force people to turn to less healthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating, alcohol, or other substances that we think make us feel better.

3. Compassion Fatigue- Our first responders and medical professionals are on the front line and witness the awful issues with the pandemic every day. These people are seeing people struggle and take their last breath daily. Some of these people are saying their goodbyes to loved ones on a computer screen, which can be heartbreaking. However, you do not need to be someone on the front line to experience this circumstance. We all see these cases on the news, and it can tug on the heartstrings because knowing someone lost someone, they love is extremely sad.

Even though it may feel impossible to not feel the threats of pandemic fatigue, there are several ways to find stability thought so much instability. During these challenging times it is crucial to take care of your body and soul, and even find some forms of optimism.

1. Ensure your basic needs are being met: Combating pandemic fatigue requires maintaining proper nutrition, sleep habits, good hygiene, and mild exercise. Of course, this does not mean you need to dive into a new healthy habit immediately. What this can mean is going to bed five or so minutes earlier, taking a short walk at lunch, or simply doing light stretching during the day.

2. Discover mindfulness exercise that works: Mindfulness exercises can be a useful tool in overcoming pandemic fatigue. This can be practiced in many ways and what works for some people, might not help another in the same way. It might be beneficial to write down some mindfulness exercises you would like to try until you find the perfect one for you! A few ideas are Five-minute guided meditation, mindful pause, or reciting your favorite song. Experiment with different techniques and you will find the right one but be sure to stick with the one that works the best.

3. Enjoy Stability when you can: Review your daily routine and determine what is not negotiable and must be done. Understand what needs to be done no matter what happens and what does not and eliminate what is not important. The must be done could be going to bed at the same time every night, eating meals at a certain time, or exercising the same routine at the same time on specific days. Do not forget to make some of the “important/must do” things that bring you a sense of joy.

4. Set boundaries with social media and the news: I am sure I am not the only one that followed new COVID cases and deaths during the beginning of the pandemic. Even now as the cases of COVID are decreasing, I still tend to look up the latest information about new cases and vaccinations. This can be very exhausting and frustrating, so setting boundaries is one of the healthiest things to do. Both the news and social media are full of negativity and can cause even more pandemic fatigue.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I had taken a break from writing about anything to do with the pandemic, but I thought this information could be useful to some of you. I would love to know what you think and if you have anything else to add. I hope your week went well and you are looking forward to the weekend. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

We will Remember this day

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On the morning of September 11, 2001, people were doing what they normally do, such as going to work and school, and were not in fear of a terrorist act that would take the lives of almost 3,000 people and injure 25,000. I think it is safe to say that most people, especially those living in the United States can remember this day twenty years ago. The events that took place were life-altering, chilling, and heart-wrenching, and were unnecessary. For some reason, what took place today two decades ago does not make sense to me but fills my mind with many questions that I know I will never have the answers to.

Considering this day continues sending chills down my spine, I think it is crucial to remember the events and cherish our lives. For each time frame of the events, I am going to share with you, I can remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, and what took place over for days, weeks, months, and years afterward. Do not worry, I will not go too in-depth, but will share just the key points.

In Boston, MA at Logan International Airport, American Airlines flight 11 departed 14 minutes late at 7:59 AM with 81 passengers and 11 crew members with their destination being Los Angeles International Airport. Sadly, at 8:46 AM, this airplane crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center in Lower Manhattan. When the news interrupted the radio station I was listening to with this tragic news, I thought there must have been a mistake, or I did not hear what was said correctly because all I could think was how could a plane crash into a building.

Another flight, American Airlines flight 175 departed 14 minutes late at 8:14 AM from the Logan International Airport in Boston, MA with a destination of Los Angeles International Airport. This flight had 56 passengers and 9 crew members on board, which crashed at 9:03 AM into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

As the news had not yet registered into the minds of people around the world, the terrifying news did not end and there was further devastating news to come. A third plane, American Airlines flight 77 that had 56 passengers and 6 crew members departed 10 minutes late from Washington Dulles International Airport and bound for Los Angeles International Airport. This plane crashed into the Western side of the Pentagon at 9:37 AM.

Unfortunately, most people are extremely worried about the lives of their families and trying to call them, but the cell towers were in overdrive and calls were not able to connect. This only created mass chaos because no one knew if there was going to be another plane crashing into another building and where it might happen. Large cities around the country were on alert, which considering at that time I was living in a large city with tall buildings I was panicking.

A fourth plane, United Airlines flight 93 that had 37 passengers and 7 crew members on board departed 42 minutes late from Newark International Airport, now called Newark Liberty Airport bound for San Francisco International Airport. It was later determined that the passengers on this flight had learned what happened at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and were trying to overpower the hijackers on board. Due to a fight in the cockpit, this flight crashed at 10:03 AM Southeast of Pittsburgh in Somerset Pennsylvania. It is not known where this plane’s target was, but it is believed the target was either the White House or the United States Capitol building.

There are many reasons the events of this day do not make sense to me. The United States has one of the strongest militaries in the world. The United States has fighter jets that can reach Mach 6.72 or 4,520 mph, which is more than five times the speed of sound. The reason the fighter jets were not scrambled to defeat these terrorist acts was disturbing because they were taking part in Exercise Vigilant Guardian. Why is it on the day the country is under attack, the fighter jets are doing an exercise and unable to intercept and put an end to this attack?

On the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attack on the United States, we need to remember the almost 3,000 people that lost their lives and the 25,000 people that suffered injuries. The people that were on the scene after these devastating events took place put their lives in danger to try to save the lives of others, which I do believe is heroic. We should also remember that people lost loved ones during this time, and some are still battling the effects of this 20 years later.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this is a rather sad post, but this is something we should keep in our hearts. I hope your weekend has begun the way you wanted, and you stay safe with anything you do over the weekend. As always, I do look forward to the opportunity to read your comments and I will respond to them as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The day that changed my life forever

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I can vividly remember this day eight years ago when the world lost an amazing soul. I remember exactly where I was, who I spoke to and what was said, and what occurred for days, weeks, months, and years later. My husband and I were gearing up for an anniversary trip to Florida and I had just left the tanning salon when I heard a voicemail from my uncle requesting that I call him. Considering I do not typically hear from him because over the years we grew apart, I was instantly concerned and immediately called him back.

The words that left my uncle’s mouth changed my life forever. My uncle was calling to inform me that my grandfather who I idolized had lost his battle with cancer. This news jarred my mind, heart, and soul because I had a deep connection and love for my grandfather. I guess I could say that in my mind, my grandfather could beat anything and would live forever, but that childish thought was proven to be very incorrect.

I always had an incredible amount of admiration for my late grandfather because he had a heart of goal and was extremely thoughtful, loving, fair, considerate, and much more. Much of the way my late grandfather was has been instilled into me, which I am and always will be forever thankful for. I do not think there will ever be a way to be as wonderful as he was, but I will never give up trying.

Unfortunately, I think it is normal for people to disappoint others, but my grandfather never once disappointed me. I could always count on this man because he loved his family so purely and deeply. His core values were inspiring, encouraging, motivating, honest, generous, optimistic, and so much more, which I hope to carry with me until I see him again.

Although my grandfather passed away eight years ago, his spirit will live on within my heart and soul for the rest of my life. I know that he is watching over me and even though I cannot hear his voice, I can feel his presence when I am going through difficult times. He has always been a voice of reason and logic, where is rare in the world today. At the lowest and most difficult times during my life, my grandfather’s voice would ring in my ears, and everything became much easier to handle. He even made being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was only 19 years old easier to tolerate.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday and the day he passed away, I have a difficult time. However, please do not mistake this because I will be forever thankful for the times I had with my grandfather and do feel like his life should be celebrated and I know he would not want me to be sad, but there is still an ache and emptiness in my heart from losing him.

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I think I have mentioned this in a previous post, but my grandfather was a writer for his local newspaper and was an amazing pro-golfer. I do not know the first thing about golf but would love to believe I get my love for writing from my grandfather. The only thing that helps me deal with my emotions, positive or negative is to write about them, which is the reason I am writing about my grandfather on the eight-year anniversary of his death. Writing may not always take the sting of the pain away, but it does help me to let everyone reading this post understand how wonderful and amazing my grandfather was. There will never be a day that I am not thankful to have had James Bucky O’Brien for a grandfather because some of my best qualities were derived from him.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I wish there was a way to express even more how much my grandfather meant to me and how much I hope I am making him proud of who I am today because this is extremely important to me. I do not think I will ever be half the person he was, but I will never give up trying to be the best part of myself I can be. I hope your week is going well and you are staying safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa