Memories Never Fade

This post is about two and a half weeks late, but please know it was not forgotten. Several years ago, on February 7th, we lost our precious cat Chloe we had for almost 16 years. This loss was painful for me, my husband, and our other cat, Sundance. Chloe brought us so much joy, laughter, happiness, and so much more. Losing her was like losing part of our hearts because she was for lack of better words our first child. Yes, I know she was a cat, but for us, she was so much more, and she will never be forgotten.

It has taken me a long time to be able to see her picture or the place on our fireplace mantel where her remains are without crying. We did have Chloe cremated, so she is still in our living room watching over us. Honestly, even after the years that have passed, I do still have mini breakdowns because I miss that sweet little girl so much. I cannot explain how much everyone that had been around her loved her dearly. Chloe had an instinct in her little body that knew anytime I was not feeling well due to the MS and would stay with me until I started to feel better. She slept by my head every night and even the night before she passed away, she slept with me.

After we lost Chloe, we knew Sundance was grieving as much as we were. It was so heartbreaking seeing him sad and missing Chloe. To see a sweet cat like Sundance sad and not understand where his friend went was awful. I did try explaining to him what happened, but he did not understand and would continue looking for her and we would hear him crying. For the first few months, I apologized to him because I felt like it was my fault for not getting Chloe to the vet sooner, and even after the vet told me that it would not have mattered, I held onto the guilt for a long time.

To try to help Sundance heal from the loss, and I guess me and my husband as well, we looked into adopting another cat, but NOT to replace Chloe because she was irreplaceable. After looking online for a while, I kept going back to a picture of this beautiful female cat that had the most innocent little face. I submitted the application, and we received the call that we were chosen to be the ones to adopt her. Little did I know, when we went to adopt the little girl, she had a smaller little girlfriend with her. Of course, we could not leave one behind because they had been close and grown up together.

I still do not regret adopting the two little girl cats because they have made a huge difference in Sundance’s demeanor. Sundance is about 12 years old now and the two girls are keeping him feeling young, and I think healthier overall, despite his asthma. Of course, I will always miss Chloe and she will always have a very special place in our hearts. I decided to finally write about this today because out of nowhere, I had a massive emotional breakdown earlier. Both of the girls and Sundance came to my side trying to figure out why I was crying and would not leave until I stopped. Animals are truly amazing little creatures that have so much love in their hearts. I have a really hard time when I see anything about an animal being abused and neglected because even though someone harmed them, they would be forgiven. The only thing any person or animal wants in life is love and it should not be that difficult to provide!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. If you have pets and consider them family as I do, please give your pet or pets a little extra love because they will not always be here, and you do not want to have any regrets. If there was a way to bring Chloe back, I would do so in a second and without any hesitation. As always, I would love the chance to read your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

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Heavenly Birthday Wish

How do you wish someone a Happy Birthday when they have left this world? When someone you loved, admired, cherished, and miss is endless miles away in Heaven, you cannot call or visit them. The hardest and most challenging part is when you never had the chance to say “goodbye”. This can leave you wondering if a family member that you idolized ever knew how much you loved them and is heartbreaking. Is it possible that my late grandfather can still hear me when I talk to him? I can still hear his voice, but he is not answering my questions.

Today is my late grandfather’s birthday. Even though he passed away in 2013, I still try to honor the day he graced the world and everyone who knew him with his presence. I know he would not want anyone who knew him to be sad because that was the type of man he was. He was the most thoughtful and caring person in the world. I am thankful that he was my grandfather because I would like to think I am better because of him. I honestly believe that anyone who was privileged enough to know him was better because of him!

He fought a difficult fight with cancer and no matter how much strength he had, cancer won the battle. I am glad he was able to live a life doing the things he enjoyed. He was a pro golfer, and he loved his family. No one is perfect, but in my eyes, he was as close as someone can get to perfection. He was a devoted father and grandfather. I do not think anyone that knew him could say anything negative about him because he gave his all to those he cared about.

My late grandfather was an inspiration and the love he had shined in his eyes. He had never met a stranger and never judged anyone for anything. He thought of everyone as an equal and treated people with respect. I cannot help but think about what he would think about the terrible things that have occurred in this world in the past several years. He fought for this country, and I must believe he would not support or appreciate the corruption and hatred that is filling this country. There is a very small part of me that is glad he is not here to see the shameful ways the country has deteriorated.

Over the years, there was so much that I learned from my late grandfather. These lessons are the ones that I hold so close to my heart because they were so meaningful. I have never been the type to judge anyone on anything but the way they treat others and I think that is the way he was. The friends and family he left behind will always have a piece of their hearts that resides in Heaven. This is the piece of me that has been missing since September 9, 2013, but I do treasure the memories. I do believe there will be a day when I will see him again, but I am not sure when.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this post might have been a little sad, but I do want to wish my late grandfather a very happy birthday in Heaven. I hope he is playing at the best golf courses available to him. I would enjoy reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Food For Thought

The holidays are “supposed” to be a time for joy and happiness, but it tends to make me feel sad. While I know how insane this may sound, I do have my reasons. I think about those who have lost loved ones both recently and not so recently. Unfortunately, most of us have lost someone we cared deeply for and the empty chair at the dinner table during the holidays is another reminder they are gone. It does not matter how long it has been, the loss of someone we loved is a pain that stays with us.

I feel heartbreak for people I have never met that I know who lost someone they loved. Recently, there was a tragic loss for a wife and her children, when Stephen Boss, also known as “Twitch,” took his own life. Another celebrity who recently lost her life was Sonya Eddy who played Epiphany Johnson in the soap opera, General Hospital, which I have watched since I was a child. I think about the families of these two people and how they will get through the holidays without them.

During the holidays, I also think about my late Grandfather and my husband’s late Grandparents. Even though my grandfather and I did not see each other as often as I would have liked because we lived several states away from each other, I do always miss the sound of his voice when we talked on Christmas Day. Since my husband and I have been together, which is now going on twenty years, we always used to spend Christmas Day at his Grandparent’s house before they passed away, which is the house we now live in. The one thing we will all always have, no matter how many years since our loved ones passed away, is amazing memories.

I cannot help but think about the many people across this world that will face the upcoming holidays for the first time without their loved ones. So many will deal with pain and sadness over the holidays, and it fills me with sadness. Maybe I am being overly emotional, but I also think about the millions of people that are homeless and do not have the opportunity to enjoy a hot family dinner surrounded by loved ones. Too many people are doing the best they can on the streets, trying to find shelter and food, which should never be the case, no matter why they are in the situations they find themselves in.

I might overthink things too much, but there are so many questions that keep running through my head. Why do some people have to struggle, especially in a country as wealthy as the United States? Why do the ones who are not struggling financially and would not miss a few dollars not offer to help the underprivileged more? There are so many struggling with mental instabilities that cannot find the help they need and why is this? Why do people have to suffer and starve? Why can the world not be fair and provide equal opportunities to everyone? If you saw a young man or woman on the street in the cold, would you try to help them or would you turn your head and walk away? It is not possible that I am the only person who has these thoughts and wants to help.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this post was not as uplifting as I normally try to be, but this is how I am feeling and needed to get these feelings out to others and give them something to think about. I feel that sometimes it only takes a few people to think about the bigger problems in life and make small strides to do something to help. I hope you are having a good week and there was something that I have shared in this post that resonated with you. I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Cruel and beautiful world

This can be cruel, but also a beautiful world we are living in. Unfortunately, we will never know what demons another is battling against because people often hide them very well. This tends to be due to the negative stigma our society puts on mental health. It is terrible that so many feel they must distinguish their struggles with fake smiles, to avoid being labeled and shamed. It is not a weakness when someone admits they are struggling mentally and makes the decision to seek mental health help, but instead, I think it shows signs of strength and courage.

We need to keep in mind that we are all human and no matter how things may appear on the outside, no one in the world has a “perfect” life. Even celebrities seem to have what seems to be a perfect family, a beautiful home, and plenty of money to feed themselves, and their family and afford all the luxuries in life. No matter what amount of money a person has in their bank account, money CANNOT busy happiness.

Considering our society demonizes and stigmatizes people with mental health issues, it is causing people to commit suicide instead of admitting they are struggling. What kind of world would rather have people end their lives, instead of providing necessary help to those in crucial need? We cannot even watch the news without seeing another horrific act that has occurred in our country. There is far too much hate, narcissistic judgments, misery inflicting our lives, and unnecessary deaths daily, it is hard to see the silver lining any longer.

Celebrities many admire and children look up to have suffered from addiction, depression, and past issues conflicting with their lives, and many more that have committed suicide. The most recent was a brilliant dancer and DJ, Stephen Boss, better known as Twitch from So You Think You Can Dance, and the DJ on the Ellen DeGeneres show took his own life on Tuesday. Those who knew Twitch, including his wife who just celebrated their 9th wedding anniversary, did not know he was suffering with anything. Friends, family, and those who knew him well said he loved his family and what he was doing more than anything in the world, but now he is gone and those who loved him are left wondering why.

I do believe anyone should ever be judged or spoken negatively about because they are having troubles in life, but instead we should be trying to help people more. Why does anyone think they are better than another person that is having mental issues? Does anyone see what is going on in this world? Is there anyone that has a genuine smile or are they are just wearing a mask to hide the truth?

Thank you for visiting my site today. I wrote this post because what I see happening in the world is causing me so much sadness. I feel strongly that we should be lifting one another up and not tearing others down. We do not know what is going on in another person’s life and if we say something awful to them, it might be the last words they hear before making a terrible choice to end their lives. We can be kind and lift others up and we might end up making a HUGE difference that could save another person’s life. If you are struggling with something in life, please know that there is help and you are strong and courageous to admit the problems you are going through. I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Almost Thanksgiving

Twas the day before Thanksgiving and many are excited to visit with family with COVID numbers decreasing. This time last year many were isolated due to fears of COVID, which caused most to feel sad about not being able to spend a holiday with their families. Unfortunately, last year we were seeing high numbers of COVID, and no one wanted to get sick or cause their loved ones to get sick. Yes, this year the numbers have decreased, and many have been vaccinated so all we can do now is hope for the best😊! I know that I am not the only one that is tired of hearing about COVID, as we dealt with it for far too many years!

Thanksgiving is a time to remember the things that we are thankful for. Of course, we should show how thankful we are daily, but with tomorrow being Thanksgiving this post is going to be about being thankful! What are a few things you are thankful for? Unfortunately, many of us have lost loved ones and we wish they were with us to celebrate, but we can still honor those we have lost by cherishing their memory. Our lost loved ones would want us all to keep living our lives and be happy while still remembering them😊!

Years ago, my husband and I would try to spend Thanksgiving with my mother. It was a nice time to get together and catch up. This year, my mother is living in another state, and it will be a little different. I am beyond thankful that my mother has found love and happiness and is living her best life. We were talking about having her and her husband come to visit us around Christmas, but I am logical about money and thought it would be a less expensive flight to wait until after Christmas for them to come!

I am very thankful that my husband and I are safe and healthy (besides my having Multiple Sclerosis). We have a wonderful life with our three amazing cats that bring us so much joy. We do terribly miss our cat Chloe whom we had for almost 16 years, but the two little cats we adopted are wonderful and all three cats get along so well. We both find it incredible to watch the three cats interact with one another, the bond they have formed, and the unconditional love they have for each other and us.

Another thing that I am thankful for is my husband’s side of the family. They have all been so welcoming since the day he and I met, and they continue to be the best in-laws any girl could ask for. Family can be unusual and unique, but love is consistent and unconditional.

In a very strange way, I am thankful for my job and my work family. I have not met any of my co-workers in person but have built strong relationships with several of them. The few that I have made a strong connection with are my supervisor and a few of my other co-workers that share the same title as I do. One of the girls loves her cats as much as I love mine, and sadly lost two of hers back-to-back a few months ago. We spend more time at work than we do not at work, so it is nice to be able to work with good people!

Too many people in this world forget how to be thankful for what they have in their lives and then take things for granted. I think that is sad because there are so many people, especially in the United States that do not have a roof over their heads, food on the table, or love in their hearts and are unable to have compassion or understanding for anyone else. We all share the world we are living in and it does not matter the color of someone’s skin, who they love, where they are from or anything else, this world is for us to live and grow in!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post and I look forward to reading your comments and what you are thankful for. I was going to make beef stew for dinner tomorrow, but we are now going to order a turkey dinner to have for Thanksgiving. My husband was looking forward to turkey, so this saves me from cooking! I am still hopeful that everyone around the world can remember what love means and start being kind to everyone! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Show love and respect for animals!

What does it mean to be an empathetic person? To be an empathetic person is to show an ability to understand and share feelings with another person. After reading what it means, do you think you are an empathetic person? Is it possible to feel too much empathy for others? I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am a very empathetic person. I would never say anyone can feel too much empathy because I believe everyone’s feelings are meaningful and should be respected. Of course, I can admit that I am an emotional person and act based on emotions before logic most of the time!

On Monday, I learned one of my co-workers lost one of her cats. Her poor cat was hit by a car and sadly, her kitty did not survive. This struck a cord in my mind because I remember losing our cat, Chloe, and know how incredibly painful this is. Unfortunately, when my co-worker was taking her cat that was hit by a car to be cremated, her other kitten escaped her home. I know how hard it was losing one cat and cannot imagine losing two within two days. I was in tears Monday when I learned about the first kitty and then last night was hysterical because it broke my heart for my co-worker.

In my heart and mind, I think animals are important and full of love. My husband and I have three cats and we treat them like they were our children because, for all intensive purposes, they are. I cannot imagine life without them because they bring SO much joy to our lives and for that, we make sure they have everything and then some they need. When I see things about animals being mistreated, it makes me so angry because animals are the only creature that loves unconditionally and they do not judge, as most humans do.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this is a rather sad post, but I hope it resonates with you and you understand what empathy means. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I promise to respond as quickly as I can. Remember, if you have a pet to give him or her a little extra love. If you do not have any pets, remember to always be kind to all animals! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

National Substance Abuse Prevention Month

In 2011, former President Obama issued the first-ever Presidential Proclamation designating October as National Substance Abuse Prevention Month. This is meant to be a month to raise awareness of the various health effects substance abuse causes the individual, families, and communities. It is also a time to remember those who lost their lives to substance abuse, recognize those in recovery, and those who are continuing to support them. When someone battles with any type of addiction, it can wreak havoc on their lives and everyone around them. We need to try to understand the struggles and help get anyone not already in recovery, to find their way to the road to recovery.

Studies have indicated individuals who start smoking, drinking, or using other drugs have a greater likelihood of addiction. Unfortunately, those who began using addictive substances before they were 15 years old are about seven times more likely to develop a substance abuse problem than those that delay their first use until at least 21 years old or older. Each year substance abuse is delayed during their adolescent brain development, and their risk of addiction and substance abuse decreases.

The National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics suggests slightly more than 60% of Americans have abused a type of drug during the past month. This includes illegal and pharmaceutical drugs but also includes tobacco and alcohol. Pew Research Center, which is an indirect viewpoint has reported that 46% of American adults have a close relationship with someone who is or has suffered from addiction, some may not even know someone they are close to is dealing with an addiction. It is sad and unfortunate, but this is a common and VERY real problem in the United States.

As I have already mentioned, substance abuse tends to start with the youth and younger adults. Over 12.5% of our adolescent population has used illegal substances during the past year. It is crucial to help the youth understand the importance of avoiding drugs, as this can prevent them from further issues when they are adults.

Substance abuse is a known issue in the world, but in the United States statistics show that you or someone you care about has fallen victim to the addiction epidemic. Addiction can be a dark and lonely place for the person suffering from the addiction and in turn be painful for their family. This can cause many to feel powerless to discover a resolution and treatment.

Sadly, there have been countless celebrities and musicians the youth view as role models that fell into the addiction trap and lost their lives because of their addiction. Highly successful individuals such as Chester Bennington from Linkin Park and Chris Cornell from SouthGarden and Audioslave are just a couple of examples. So many become addicted to various types of drugs because they are self-medicating due to mental health issues, previous traumas they want to forget, negative home environments, or various other stressors.

The number of overdose deaths continues to increase each year. The CDC estimated in 2021, more than 107,000 died from a drug overdose, with 75% of these deaths involving opioids. Sadly, the number of overdose deaths increased to 109,000 as of March 2022. The vast majority of these deaths were due to synthetic opioids, which include fentanyl and stimulants such as cocaine and methamphetamine.

It is important to keep yourself educated on the signs of addiction. Understanding signs can help you to identify the behaviors and help the person suffering from addiction sooner rather than later when it may be too late.

Behavioral Symptoms:

*Increased aggression or irritability

*Changes in attitude or personality

*Lethargy

*Depression

*Abnormal messages on social media

*Drastic changes in habits and or priorities

*Criminal activity

Physical Symptoms:

*Bloodshot or glazed eyes

*Dilated or constricted pupils

*Abrupt weight changes

*Sleeping too much or too little

*Poor physical coordination

*Unusual body odor

*Appearing untidy

Communicating with someone that is battling addiction can be complicated. Of course, each person is unique and may need different strategies than those that I am sharing with you. Regardless of the way you discuss the issue, all people need love, support, and compassion. The following are some strategies that you may find helpful. 

Always Be Kind:

Be advised there is already a negative stigma engulfing our society regarding addiction. This causes people to be criticized, insulted, belittled and rejected. Although you may have accepted the person’s addiction struggles and disapprove of their behavior, you can slowly begin building a bridge to forgiveness and the person’s recovery. 

Carefully choose your words:

Understanding language matters and we cannot erase words that are spoken. Remember to communicate as respectfully as possible. It is crucial to evade using language that encourages harmful cliches. Refrain from words such as addict or junkie because the person’s addiction does not define who they are as a whole. These names are dehumanizing and not helpful!

Educate yourself:

Society tends to blame people for their addiction like it is a moral failure. Be sure to understand before speaking to your loved one that addiction is a disorder and not a failure. The National Institute on Drug Abuse describes addiction as an inability to stop using drugs, failing to work, or failing family obligations. Currently, people working in the medical community refer to addiction as a substance abuse disorder. Even if you disagree with this, it is important you do not let the person you are trying to help know because it will not help the person recover. 

Talk Less, Listen More:

An important part of communicating is listening to what the person is saying to you. When someone struggling with addiction confides in you, try to simply listen without interrupting or criticizing. You may disagree with what the person is saying, but it is VERY important to withhold your judgments. Remember to continue speaking to them as if they do not have an addiction. The person suffering from addiction is still the same person they were before the addiction took hold of them and they have the same likes, dislikes, and hobbies. 

Set Boundaries: 

Communicate through actions and words. Keep your message consistent so your loved one does not misunderstand. Communicating with someone with an addiction is NOT easy, especially if you have a history of supporting their behaviors. Letting the person know how they hurt you may help to motivate their recovery. 

Believe the person:

If your friend or loved one decides to talk to you about their addiction, do not disagree with what they are saying. Your perspective about addiction is NOT the reality of their experience. Trust, they know what is happening because it is their body going through the addiction. Respect how they are feeling and what it has been like for them. Do not make excuses and enable their behavior, because they are responsible for their addiction. Even with this say, you can still support their recovery.

You cannot control the recovery:

Naturally, you want to help the person you care about with their addiction, but you cannot control how they do it. As long as they are not a harm to themselves or anyone else, all you can do is respect their ways to make positive changes. Instead of dictating how they get help, ask them how you can help them!

This post ended up being a little longer than I expected, so I am going to do another post that describes the negative effects drugs can do to a person’s body. Too many people around the world have fallen victim to addiction and others lost their lives due to their addiction. I might be wrong, but I think there is something more the government can do about this problem, but most are in the pocket for the pharmaceutical companies.

Thank you for visiting my site today. If you or someone you care about are struggling with an addiction, I hope the information in this post will help. Please understand, I am not a medical professional and the information provided was all based on my research on the subject. If you have any other suggestions, please let us know as I am sure it will be helpful. I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Pick-Me-Up Thursday

Happy Friday eve, y’all! How has your week been? It seems to have been a long and exhausting week, but as my late Grandfather always said, someone else is always going through something worst. Of course, one reason my week has felt long is because of pain, but the thing about pain is it lets you know that you are still alive. Maybe that is my way of coping with it because I am aware some of the pain I deal with is never going away.

It has been a couple of years, but I mentioned how it felt when we lost our dear sweet cat, Chloe. That kind of pain is emotional and it is awful. Unfortunately, a lady I work with lost her dog yesterday and I know the pain she is suffering, which breaks my heart for her and her family. Physical pain is awful, but I think emotional pain is far worse. I know it is not much, but all I can tell this lady I work with is that I understand and I am here for her anytime she needs to talk. I also know right now the pain is so raw, she does not want to talk but that I will be available when she is. I still remember the pain from losing Chloe and still break down in tears when I think about her.

We are towards the end of the week and have the weekend to look forward to. We do still have one more day to make it through, but considering we survived the first part of the week, I hope the last part will be much easier. I do believe we could all benefit from a little pick-me-up to lift our spirits! I hope the quote I am sharing today offers you support to help you to shine as bright as you can. No matter what we go through in this crazy life, there is always something positive that makes us smile😊. It is crucial to look on the bright side because things can always be worst.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week has gone well and you are looking forward to the weekend ahead of us. We all go through different struggles in life, but when we learn someone we know is struggling I think it is important to offer our kindness, compassion, and support! I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Never forget

Today was a day of horrific memories, commonly known as 9/11. Four coordinated suicide attacks were said to be carried out by the militant Islamic extremist network, al-Qaeda which was following orders from Osama bi Laden to attack the United States of America. These attacks were organized into three groups of five members and another group of four members. Each of the groups included one designated flight-trained hijacker who took control of the aircraft.

Unfortunately, this will always be a day no one will ever forget. Everyone in the United States can remember where they were and what they were doing when the news broke about the plane crashing into the North Tower of the World Trade Center in Lower Manhattan at 8:46 AM. We did not have time to digest the tragic news of the first plane crashing into the North Tower before a second plane crashed into the South Tower at the World Trade Center at 9:03 AM. We all watched in horror as the two 110-story towers collapsed to the ground within an hour and forty-two minutes, which lead to the collapse of other structures in the World Trade Center including 7 World Trade Center, and caused substantial damage to the surrounding buildings.

A third hijacked flight crashed into the West side of the Pentagon, which is the headquarters of the American Military located in Arlington, Virginia thirty-one minutes after the first attack at 9:37 AM. This attack caused a partial collapse of the side of the building.

The fourth and final attack was heading towards Washington, DC. It has been suggested the passengers were alerted about the previous attacks this day and tried to take control of the aircraft to prevent another attack from crashing into its intended target. The passengers struggled with the hijackers onboard and ended up crashing the plane in a field in Stonycreek Township, Pennsylvania at 10:03 AM.

The tragic terrorist events that occurred 21 years ago resulted in 2,977 fatalities, over 25,000 injuries, and countless considerable long-term health consequences. In addition to the numerous lives lost, there was at least $10 billion in infrastructure and property damages.

This terrible event remains to be the deadliest terrorist attack in human history. This was also the single deadliest event for firefighters and law enforcement officers in the history of the United States. There were 343 firefighters and 72 law enforcement officers killed because of this terrorist act.

Although it is not easy to think about what happened 21 years ago today, we should always try to remember the fallen loved ones and heroes that lost their lives. There are still many questions that will go unanswered, and we may never know the full truth because all we have to go on is what the government tells us, and given their track record for the truth, who knows what is real? In situations like this, we must hold onto hope and faith because those are the only things that can help us at times.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this is another rather sad post, but I do hope it helps you remember the good people that tried saving lives during this terrifying event. I hope you are having a good weekend and staying safe. I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Missing you still

Of all the posts I have written and will write in the future, posts like this one are always the most difficult. September 9, 2013, was the day when my entire world was turned upside down and inside out because I lost someone that I considered to be my hero. My Grandfather, that I called Poppy was my rock and he kept me grounded through many life struggles. Losing him was one of the worst times in my life and I did not have my rock to help me through it. I thought my Poppy hung and moon and stars, and he could do no wrong in my eyes.

When I lost him nine years ago, he took a HUGE piece of my heart with him, but the lessons I learned from him will always live on in me. As much as I continue to try, there is no way I can ever be as great as he was, but I will never stop trying because I want to make him proud.

My Poppy was honest, caring, devoted, understanding, loving, compassionate, fair, and many other amazing qualities. I do not think there is anyone now or will ever be anyone else like him because he truly was one of a kind. I think that it is possible that God broke the mold when he made him. During my entire life, he never once disappointed me and I always knew that I could rely on him.

I have so many fond memories of him that I will never forget and will treasure until the end of time. He was a pro golfer that dedicated his life to the sport. I can remember times he tried showing me how to play and even though I was not doing well, he never gave up on me. I did not enjoy trying to play golf, but I did enjoy driving the golf cart around his golf course. As a young child, I loved being with my Poppy and rarely paid attention to the other golfers. There were numerous times I was in the way and had close calls with getting hit by the golf balls flying through the air, but he never raised his voice to me when he told me to watch where I was walking.

I remember driving in the car with him while he was singing. There is one songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ that I will never forget because he loved to sing it. Every time I hear Seven Spanish Angels by Ray Charles and Willie Nelsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ, I can hear him singing. Of course, now I am unable to get through the song without crying because I miss him SO much. 

I think one of the hardest things for me is, that I never got to say “goodbye”. I wanted to go visit him because I knew he was sick, but he did not want me to fly all that way to see him. I think he was trying to protect me because he did not want me to see him sick and suffering. It is so hard because the last image I have of him is when we went to his funeral. It is hard to get that image out of my mind because while it did look like him, that was not the man I remember. I am not sure he knew just how much I loved and admired him and that breaks my heart.

Out of everyone in my family, both my mother’s side and father’s side, my Poppy was my heart and soul. I idolized him and thought he would live forever. I will never forget when my uncle called me to tell me about Poppy passing away. The call caught me off guard for several reasons, one being that my uncle never calls me, but the other is because I could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. I could not understand how a man like my Poppy could be gone and I just wanted to see him again. I know someday, I will be reunited with my Poppy, and I just hope he will tell me that he is proud of the woman I had become. 

In all honesty, I am thankful everyday that I had a grandfather as special as mine was. Everyone who knew him was lucky because he loved unconditionally and would do anything for those he cared about. Sadly, all his friends and family lost a magical and amazing human being nine years ago and will forever miss him. He touched so many lives and made a HUGE difference for so many.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have had a good week and you are ready for the weekend to begin. I know this was a sad post, which I am sorry to end the week this way. Unfortunately, I will have a heavy heart today because I do miss my Poppy. I hope he is looking down from Heaven and he is enjoying the best golf courses ever created and he is proud of who I am today. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa