Zest for Life, Love & Strength!

Zest for life, love and strengthGood afternoon y’all! I hope you are enjoying your weekend and for those of us living in the states, I hope y’all are enjoying your long weekend! I sincerely hope you are feeling well. I can honestly tell you that I have been doing my best to not do much of anything and just enjoy my three days away from living on a schedule.

I think it is safe to say that we all go through difficult times over the course of our life. We will question anything and everything about what we are going through and the life we are living, only to not get any real true answers. I might be wrong, but I do believe that life was never meant to be easy. Even if we do not notice it, we learn and gain so much strength and knowledge with the challenging time we all face.Sunrise - Carolina Beach

I guess I feel that with all we deal with every single day of our life it can be pretty challenging. However we still must find the ability to enjoy the life we were given, love ourselves and those important to us and of course remember the strength we carry within ourselves as it is extremely powerful!

Even when life throws numerous curve balls at us, daily or even hourly, we still manage to do our best to bounce back from every hit. Some of the hits might be a little more intense than another, but that still doesn’t stop us! Each of us is full of love and determination, which enables us to keep up our fight for a pleasant life.

9c567cf19e3e6a689483b44f7f2ac52f--my-style-so-trueIt is crazy to think that every struggle makes us stronger because some of us have been to hell and back again so many times that we lost count, but still we may feel weak at times. I know over the 18 years I have lived with Multiple Sclerosis, there have been days I have felt like I was being punished for who know what. However, even with every horrible situation I have been through with this illness, I have never allowed Multiple Sclerosis to ruin my life and defeat me ever!

Do you ever wonder how you find the strength to get up every morning when you do not know how what do expect? Many chronic quote17-04illnesses are very unpredictable. This can mean that every day is different from another or even being a little more real, every hour of the day can different. This comes down to always being prepared for the unexpected and just keep moving forward without hesitation. This is not easy for anyone and yet that is what all of us do!

I do believe that we all have a “Zest for life, love and strength” because most days we all have the enthusiasm and energy to do it all and much more! There might be days we feel so exhausted from pain, which honestly can make us feel helpless, but just the fact that we have not given up shows our true inner strength. I think even in our weakest moments we still have a determined power that keeps us on track with our goals for life.  Is there zest for lifeanyone that is part of your life deal with what you do daily? I without a doubt can so ABSOLUTELY NOT! I would gladly change places with anyone when I hear what their very minor complaints are! The truth is, we all handle our struggles differently and for those that have been lucky enough to  have never had to endure what all of us do, they just do not understand and we can’t force them to comprehend!

Thank y’all for taking the time to visit my site today! I hope you enjoyed what I have written about today and really look forward to your comments, which I will respond to just as quickly as I can! I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday and if this is a three-day weekend for you, I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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The world keeps spinning!

The world keeps spinningThe world seems to keep spinning around me so fast, but I feel like I standing still. I think it might be important to just accept the things in life that we have no control over and just embrace life for what it is. There really is so much about life that we might want to change, but I think whatever we might be living with or dealing with is in front of us for a reason. The reasons might be unknown, but there are reasons that we will discover someday!

If you sit down and really think about the way your life has played out, is there any outcome you would want to be different? All the struggles we might have encountered have not made us weak by any means, but they have all built our strength to continue onstruggle is real fighting a good fight! Sure none of us want to have a chronic illness or financial struggles or anything that might appear to be a negative aspect of life, but if we did not go through all the trials in life who would we be? I would like to think that everything we go through in life creates who we are and how we treat others, but maybe we would still be the same person if we did not go through any hard times. No one can say and be 100% sure!

Personally, I have always been very empathetic towards others and sympathetic to other’s needs. Everyone’s thoughts and emotions matter to me❤! I guess I am and probably always will be a very sentimental and sometimes overly emotional person. The way I am now has not changed since I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I am just me!

There are so many people we all encounter that never learned how to be empathetic, which if you think about it is pretty sad for them. I guess for some people, especially in the world we live in frederickdouglass1today, if you have never experienced a life altering illness that causes many different issues, they are unable to understand. It is okay for people to not fully understand, but they should never judge another because how they say they are feeling. Pain is VERY REAL! Migraines are VERY REAL! Instability when walking is VERY REAL! Mood changes are also VERY REAL! Everything we deal with in life is VERY REAL! None of us asked to have a chronic illness and I am sure we all wished we didn’t. But considering we have one, we face the world with a different perspective that involves a lot of acceptance and willingness to make changes at a moment’s notice. Our days are typically never the same, but most of never complain about it, we just manage it the best we can.

Basically I have taught myself and I am still learning how to accept the fact that I haveaccept what we can not control no control over many things in my life. I know I can control how I view situations and how I react to them, but that is all!  As a person that might have some control issues, this isn’t easy for me. I have always had a strong desire to make the lives of those I care about better. Learning that I have NO control over how someone else’s life works out for them is hard! I have learned that there isn’t anything I can do to make life easy for anyone because I do not think life was meant to always be easy! We all just need to live our life to the fullest and never dwell on what we think or wish would happen!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today! I always appreciate you taking the time to read my sometimes random thoughts and really LOVE reading your comments! I hope y’all are having a wonderful weekend and I hope you are feeling well. Please always know that I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Result are finally in!!

drum-roll-pleaseGood evening y’all! I hope you had a great day and you are thankful tomorrow is Friday, I know I am! I have definitely had a long week because I was so stressed about what my MRI results were going to show. I can honestly say that worrying and stressing did not change the results!

I am beyond happy to share with y’all that the MRI I had on Friday was MUCH better than the one I had last October. In October, in the words of my neurologist, my brain was on FIRE with many new and very active lesions. That was terrifying for me to learn as I am sure it would be for anyone, but the one I just had improved drastically. The numerous good resultslesions that were causing all my issues last year have healed as much as they are going to! My absolutely fabulous NP was so happy to see how much better my MRI was on Friday in comparison to how horrible it was last year! She told me and my husband how surprised she was to see how much I have managed to improve in just ten short months! She also said that it seems that Gilenya is just the right MS drug for me! I told her that I have NO intentions of changing stress-effects-fbmedications again until there is a cure! I am not preaching that everyone should be on Gilenya because we all have different body chemistry. What works for me might have the adverse effect on someone else. 

We did talk about the dizziness and pain I am still dealing with. She has said to me many times before that she thinks that my pain could be caused from the stress I seem unable to control. We have all heard many times that stress is a killer and I do really believe that! You know there is an app for everything, but she shared an app with me about stress and MS. I am going to give it a chance, I mean it can’t hurt anything!stress is the cause This app is available for iPhone and Android under the play store, it is called ImageryWork. There is also a website if you are interested, Imagerywork.com. I have known for a long time that I needed to get a handle on my stress because I have felt what it does to my body. It will be SO INCREDIBLY wonderful if controlling and managing my stress will eliminate the majority of my pain! I think I have lived with this pain for way too long and maybe there is something I can do to help it!

There are a number of reasons I could be experiencing dizzy spells. One the she really pushed on me was eating more! Both her and my husband dizzinessthink I should try eating 4-5 smalls meals each day, which I never do! I am going to try having small snacks throughout the day and not worrying about whether it is healthy or not and if I am going to gain a lot of weight! Weight has always been a huge worry of mine and I know how stupid that is in the big picture. Truthfully, I am NOWHERE near being overweight, in fact I am underweight according to the NP. 

So, I guess what I learned today is all the issues I am having, like increased pain and dizziness is my own fault. I am going to work on making the necessary changes to mytrytobea-min health so I will actually feel normal, whatever that is! All of the support and encouraging comments I have received from y’all have been SO appreciated. Y’all helped me through a very difficult time, which I guess I kind of caused. I really am very relived that my MS is not progressing like I was thinking and that the Gilenya is doing it’s part for me!

I hope y’all have a wonderful and relaxing evening! Please always know that no matter what I might be dealing with, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Changing my thought process!

800px_COLOURBOX18602182Good evening y’all! I hope you have had a wonderful Wednesday! Thankfully we are half way through the week and only have two days left until we reach the weekend! I am pretty sure we can make it two days! Of course, I could not be any happier tomorrow is FINALLY Thursday, the day I have waited for since last week! 

I think y’all know that I have done nothing but stress myself silly about the MRI I had last Friday. Tomorrow afternoon is when I will get the “official” results and will actually be able to talk with the NP. So thinking in a logical state of mind, did me getting all worked up do anything for the good? ABSOLUTELY NOT! In fact, all that stress only caused me to feel twice as much pain, which has honestly been miserable! I think the worrying was a complete waste of time!

I have adopted a new way of thinking and I feel that is much more healthy for my mind changeand body. There is nothing at all I can do to change what the results of my MRI are, so why bother thinking about it anymore? If my MRI results are the same as they were in October, when the doctor said it was the “worst” MRI she had ever seen, so be it! I guess it is  better to be the same instead of there being even more active lesions and I will handle it the best I can. I think I am a pretty strong person and can tolerate anything life throws my way.

Multiple Sclerosis can have constant changes and we must learn new ways to get through our life. Of course, if there are no changes at all and I will be forced to just get through the rest of my life with a lot of pain, it could be much worse!

I am a fighter and will never allow for this illness to consume my life. I did promise imagesmyself 18 years ago, when I was diagnosed that I would never surrender to it and I would find a way to control the illness, not the other way around! I know this post is a lot different and lighter than some of my previous posts, but I am learning to just accept what I can not control or change and continue on with the life I was given!

Thank you for visiting my site today and thank you from the bottom of my heart❤ for ALL of your support during these past few stressful days! I do know that I was getting incredibly stressed for NO reason at all! I hope you have a wonderful and restful evening. I am going to try to share the news I get tomorrow afternoon once I get home, you know as long as I am not too upset! As always please remember that I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Never a straight answer!

Relaxing QuotesGood afternoon y’all! I hope you have had a wonderful day! Look on the bright side, we have made it through two days and only have three to go!

So, y’all already know that I had the brain MRI on Friday evening, but of course I am not able to get the results until Thursday afternoon when I see the Nurse Practitioner! Typically I have always been able to read the radiologists reports online, but for some UNKNOWN reason the results are blocked to my viewing! Thankfully I do honestly prefer to see the NP rather than seeing the doctor because the doctor left a really bad taste in my mouth after her reaction to the MRI I had last October. I still find her reaction very unprofessional and disturbing, but what’s done is done and there is no correcting that experience! In front of my husband she actually told us it was the WORST MRI she had ever seen! I mean I think I reacted just as anyone else would as this was a very rude and hurtful way to share the results. Unfortunately in front of her I did cry, but then got extremely angry! Her reaction made me feel absolutely terrible, like I was going downhill fast and my illness was just progressing rapidly!Waiting torture

On Monday when I was not able to view the radiologists report, I contacted my doctor’s office. Monday afternoon the nurse responded back to my email by saying it did not look like my MRI had changed much since the one I had in October. That should have been good news and good enough, right? But being the person I am that wants more answers, I simply asked if this was indicating that considering I was still feeling the same way and the MRI apparently had not changed all that much since October, does this mean that I am just going to feel this way for the rest of my life? I think that was a very valid question, don’t you? Today this same nurse went from saying the MRI did not show much change to saying the doctor weighed in and he was not able to share any information with me as I need to wait to see the NP. How does something change so much overnight? I just do not understand why he suddenly is unable to share anything else with me. The way my mind works is I am thinking something a little more has changed and the NP needs to discuss this with me so I am clear on the situation at hand! Do you think I am overreacting?

waiting for answersI can be semi-logical sometimes because I do know there is nothing I can do to change what my MRI has found, but yet I still can not get my mind to slow down! Last night being SO stressed about this, I was able to contact a fellow blogger on Facebook. I thank Alex so much as she really did make me feel so much better, but now today I am back to being stressed to the MAX! Thanks to the blogging community and people as wonderful as Alex I know I have support and encouragement when I need it most! If you have not already visited Alex’s site, I am going to strongly recommend it. Alex offers so much support, love, compassion, and understanding, which I do think you will find as well once you visit her amazing site https://mswithmsalex.com/. Sending you so much LOVE ❤and thanks Alex!

Thank y’all for stopping by my site today and I do really look forward to your comments. Your comments always mean so much to me and really add some fantastic insights that I probably have not been able to see. I hope you have a nice and relaxing evening. Please always remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Somewhere between lonely

lonelinessThere are times during our lifetime we may feel extremely lonely because we think that no one really understands what we are fighting against. There might be some situations that we just do not want to talk about anything because it is too painful to relive. Has there ever been a time when you were in a room full of other people, but yet you still felt so lonely? I often wonder if it is normal to feel lonely when I am actually not really alone. It even sounds silly when I read what I just wrote, but it is the way I feel sometimes, especially lately. I think there are times that I get so lost in my own thoughts, which honestly are normally unhealthy stress points, but I do not have a desire to talk at all because it is way too frustrating. In fact during those lost moments, I just want to sit in complete silence as I try to wrap my mind around all the turmoil of life! Whether it was supposed to be or not, life is a challenge that just keeps going without giving us a break to recuperate from what we have already dealt with.

I do believe that sometimes life can become SO overwhelmingly stressful and it feels likeoverwhelmed there is just no way out of those moments. Why is it the great and delightful moments in life go by so incredibly fast, but the difficult times seem to drag on FOREVER!? I remember my wedding day that was almost 7 years ago, it was one of the happiest days of my life and it went by in the blink of an eye. Then the day the doctor told me I had MS, which was 18 years ago seemed to have lasted forever! I can still see and feel myself in the room with my old doctor and listening to him say, “Alyssa, you have Multiple Sclerosis”, but all the words after that are a blur. It seems as though the bad times in our lifetime taint our views on life in general and it just leaves a permanent scar that never truly heals.

Do you ever want to become a recluse, just to escape all the craziness of the world we live in? Living in solitude can become depressing and therefore is not healthy at all! On aristotle1the flip side of that, living in a world that has so much negativity is not healthy either! It is a catch 22 with how to proceed. I have tried to convince myself that one smile can go along way and if everyone could just adopt that concept there would be a lot more happiness surrounding all of us. Even though I might be feeling a little down right now, I do still believe smiles go so much further than anyone realizes.

Of course right now I am drowning in my thoughts about what the MRI results are going to be. Then I have a moment of clarity and know that there is absolutely nothing at all I can do to change what my results will tell me on Thursday. So why in the world am I unable to let these negative thoughts go? I think that is the million dollar question that might never be answered!

Y’all know me by now and know that I pride myself on thinking more on the positive051aa4b37f544a9783141575bb01c1dd61b51b-wm.jpg side of things. This is just a phase of negativity that will clear up as it always does. Things could be worse than they are, but my poor mind has been SO overwhelmed with stress. It honestly feels like I have been engulfed in way too many decisions and changes that need to be made that it is hard to breath sometimes. I try to handle one moment at a time, but then more thoughts pop up in my mind making it go into a tail spin!

Thank you for reading my random thoughts of the day or I guess I should say of my weekend. I am terribly sorry for all the negative thoughts, but I will say writing my feelings out helps so much! Tomorrow is another day and things will hopefully be much brighter. The countdown is on for when I get to hear my MRI results, good or bad I will handle them with grace and dignity. I will not go into the appointment with all my negative thoughts, but I will be calm and ready for anything. I hope y’all enjoy the rest of what is left of the weekend! As always, please remember that no matter what I might be going through, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

What are the struggles & benefits of living with a chronic illness?

Struggles and benefitsThe struggles of living with any chronic illness are numerous and endless. So many chronic illnesses come with various issues that might be difficult to treat, which can and does lead to SO much frustration. Through many visits to several different doctors, we are caught up in SO much medical debt, because the United States does not offer free healthcare like ALL other developed countries offer! For instance, I am required to see my MS Specialist to try slowing the progression of my illness down, but have to see another specialist to treat the pain issues! It does not make any sense to me because the pain is a direct result of the MS, so why it is my MS specialist can not treat the pain as well? Oh that’s right, because there is an opioid epidemic so anything related to pain needs to be monitored by a painchronic-pain-chain-diagram specialist who only sees me for 3-5 minutes every 2 months! Do you really think the pain doctor actually specialized in pain or they just could not hack it with being a real doctor? That might sound a little cruel as I am sure this “pain specialist” passed medical school, but seriously there are no medical schools out there that really specialize in pain!

Another struggle those of us that are living with a chronic illness faces is dealing with the dreaded insurance companies! We all know these insurance companies only see $$ dollar signs when they see our information come through! They know our medications cost a small fortune, so therefore we pad their paychecks with the many medications we are required to take. I know that my Gilenya alone without assistance would cost around $1500 a month and that is with insurance! Who can afford that on the wages we make? That’s right NO ONE can and quotes-to-inspire-people-with-chronic-illness-RM-alt-722x406therefore our conditions would worsen drastically over time! Do the insurance companies care? NOT AT ALL! I do believe that the insurance companies and government work together so they can be very well off in life without any regard for human life! Now with the talk among the government, some of us many worry that we will lose our expensive insurance in the near future. I do sincerely hope that I am wrong about this though, but that is honestly what I think is on the agenda!

Some of us may worry about the struggles of working a full-time job, as many of us probably can not afford to work part-time hours! Even if we are able to work a schedule with reduced hours this can not only be a financial burden, but also causes nonsenseYou-Dont-Look-Sick-722x406 judgments from co-workers! The comments that are made can be extremely frustrating and offensive, but we are doing all we can in life! I know that all of us would prefer to be able to tolerate full-time work, but when we are not able to we are doing the best we can and should not be looked down on! As you can probably tell I have heard the comments made about working ONLY 6 hour days, but I am pushing myself to do this!

Another struggle some of us may face is fun times with parking! Some of us may have handicap parking, which should be making our lives easier! However, some may look perfectly normal to the naked eye. We may suffer from something know as an “Invisible Illness”, which of course we feel but NO ONE sees our struggles! They may make butterflies-cant-see-their-wingsignorant comments about someone who looks completely normal parking in a handicap parking space. Rude comments have been made towards me and it did hurt my feeling terribly! But it has now been a few years since I was given the handicap parking, so I have had many experiences that I want to forget ever happened. Now days I do not allow negative comments to get to me as much and just feel sorry for the people making the ignorant comments and even worse for their children to grow up in that horrible environment because they may end up just as ignorant!

Fatigue and migraines are somethings I know many of us deal with almost daily! Both of these can be relatively difficult, but we handle them the best we can! Now I do not get migraines daily, but I get them enough to understand how hard they are to cope with.Background concept wordcloud illustration of fatigue Fatigue on the other hand I struggle with daily! I normally begin feeling much fatigue around 1:00 every day which is why I get into work earlier. For some reason, I feel much better earlier in the day and worse as the day progresses. It does not matter what time I wake up, always around 1:00 I feel like I need a nap!

OH WOW I almost forgot, I did say there were benefits to living with a chronic illness! The benefits are often very difficult to find, but they are there somewhere deep down. When living with an illness has NO cure it can make us more sympathetic, empathetic, and compassionate to what others might be dealing with at any moment in life. It may falling down is how we groweven give us the opportunity to meet others that understand our struggles and also offer support to others living with something similar! It may take work, but we are able to build strong networks with many others that can be very beneficial to all that is involved. Through the blogging community, I have been able to build powerful and valuable connections with SO many very incredible people who I have come to care so much for! I am truly thankful for all of my blogging friends and feel we might not have met if it were not for the chronic illness!

I sincerely appreciate you visiting my site today and always encourage your comments as they are fantastic! I hope y’all have a lovely day and you are feeling the best you can! Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤