How do you describe?

HOPE 2.0How do you describe the pain you are in when it can be SO indescribable at times? Living each day with an incredible amount of pain definitely gets a little old, but it also leaves no choice except to keep moving forward. Dwelling on the pain does not make it go away, but I do believe makes it SO much more intense. On my worse days, I do my very best to just keep my mind busy so I am not thinking about the pain I am feeling. It really seems like the moment I stop doing something all I can think about is how much I am hurting, whereas if I just stay busy I do not have time to allow myself to really feel it. I do understand that rest is important, especially when the pain levels are high, but at the same time rest makes me think too much and then I hurt more! I guess it can really be a no win battle between me and my pain, but I do not ever want it to defeat me entirely!

I think everyone that battles with pain issues handles them differently; we all just need a way to manage and escape at times! Do you struggle with pain and how do you handle it? Today for instances my pain is pretty darn high, so this morning I watched a little TV and then did laundry. I did not do anything too strenuous as that would probably cause painful daysme to hurt even more. Normally I would go grocery shopping, but thankfully NOT today!! When I am trying to keep my mind busy to avoid thinking about my pain I often will read a good book or write because both of those things keep me relaxed! I thought for a long time about what I wanted to write about and honestly had a little bit of writers block, but then decided I should write about what I was feeling. I am guessing that many of you can relate to this painful topic and I really wish none of us could!

So on top of dealing with my normal pain, I have been battling with terrible migraines that just will not let up! I went to bed last night with a migraine and woke up with it still with me. I guess I was hoping I could sleep it away, I hate to admit it but I was wrong! pain changes peopleThankfully right now it has finally started to ease up and now it is just a mild little headache that I can handle. I never thought I would say this but the pain I have daily is so much easier to live with than migraines I have been struggling with ALL week! Even though I know I can’t, but if I could choose I would much rather have my back and legs hurt a lot worse than to have a migraine.

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I really do appreciate you taking the time to read and do encourage you to leave a comment, which I promise to respond to as quickly as I can! I truly do love your comments and they are always very helpful! I hope your weekend is going well and you are feeling as great as you possibly can! We all deserve a restful and peaceful weekend! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of❤ love and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Weather & Migraines

Friday CalledGood afternoon and Happy Friday Eve y’all! How are you feeling today? I really hope your week has been very pleasant and you are feeling as wonderful as you possibly can! Do any of you suffer from migraines and how do manage them? I have dealt with migraines/headaches since I was a child and still can not find a good way to control them.  I guess I think they are something that is completely uncontrollable! The migraines/headaches I get way too often make it impossible to do anything at all. The only thing I can do is lay down in a dark and quiet room with one ice pack on my head and another at the base of my neck. This is just a miserable time! 

There are several different types of weather related migraines, that you really can not control. Unfortunately we can not change the course of mother nature. 

  1. Temperature Changesmigraine triggers
  2. High Humidity
  3. High Winds
  4. Stormy Weather
  5. Extremely Dry Conditions
  6. Bright Lights and Sun Glares
  7. Barometric Pressure Changes

It has been painfully hot and humid where I live, which is only causing me LOTS of fatigue and terrible headaches/migraines. It is crazy how much barometric pressure impacts the way we feel. High or rising barometric pressure may indicate better weather Barometric-Pressure-Headacheand rising temperatures, but also increased humidity levels. High humidity is an extremely common trigger for a migraine to occur! Falling barometric pressure is a signal that storms are on their way. The more severe the storm is going to be, the more significant and rapid the changes will be. A complete change in pressure levels may only take a few minutes, but those that suffer with migraines/headaches will be among the first to know about the changes. Both high humidity and extremely dry conditions only exacerbate dehydration, which can and will cause additional migraines/headaches, which in only one reason why it is so important to drink plenty of water.  

Being exposed to both bright lights or sun glares can activate something known as photophobia. Photophobia is a painful sensitivity to light and can create some massive headaches/migraines. Personally I have found that the fluorescent lights at work tend tofluorescent-light-sensitivity-infographic be the main reason for many of my headaches. When I first got to work this morning all lights were turned off and I felt fine. About an hour later someone in my office decided we needed those horrible lights turn on and shortly after that my migraine started to ease into the place it felt it needed to be. I still do not believe the lights were necessary as we could see just fine with the nature light coming in through the windows! 

Thank y’all for visiting my site today! I am always so thankful and appreciative for your continued support and amazing comments that I do always respond to. I hope y’all have a nice peaceful evening and are as happy as I am that tomorrow is Friday! Fridays are so wonderful because then the much desired weekend follows! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Already half way through the year!

half way through 2018Good afternoon y’all! Can you believe tomorrow is already July and we are half way through 2018? I had so many expectations for this year, but unfortunately nothing has really changed since 2017. I kind of feel like I am trapped in the quick sand of life and can not seem to find my way to the better side!

Have you ever felt like you were drowning in the struggles that life throws at you? There are some days that I feel like I am just treading the waters of a painful life and sinking relatively fast! I have heard the saying, “Life does not give you anything you can’t handle”. But I mean come on there does not seem to be an end in the amount of tests I am given daily. I do like to believe that I am a pretty strong person, but everyone has a breaking point and they need some easy days!

How has your year been thus far? Did you set goals for 2018 and have you been able to Goals without a planreach them? I am not saying for even one second that if you have not accomplished your goals by now that you won’t be able to, it is just all a matter of never giving up and believing you can do anything you set your mind to! When we fall down and feel like we have crashed and burned, we just have to stand back up, brush ourselves off and keep moving forward! There are still six more months to go to achieve any goals we had for this year, but it just seems like Keys-to-Setting-Goalstime is flying by and not giving a moment for us to catch up.

Do you remember where you were last year at this time? I do remember where I was and it was not a great time for me at all. I was debating with myself if I should let the medication I had been on for 6 years go and try something new! Through a lot of internal discussions and against my doctor’s advice, I ended up dropping the Gilenya to give Tecfidera a chance. The combination of the stress I put on myself and changing medications, I ended up with the worse relapse I have had since being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It was a terrible time in life and I am honestly still feeling some of the consequences now. Of course I did end up going back on the Gilenya because it was apparently strong enough to help control the progression of the Multiple Sclerosis. Even though this difficult time in my life has lasted a long time, I still believe that giving up is just not an option for me and never will be! I am still trying my best each an every day and little by little I do believe I livelaughlovewill get back to my “normal” self again, whatever that may be. 

Now honestly do you sometimes feel that for every step forward you take, there are always two steps backwards in return? In situations when you feel like this, it is just always important to pull yourself together and just fight to take more steps in the right direction! Life was never meant to be full of sunshine and rainbows, but it is all just a learning experience that can be down right painful at times. I do believe that each struggle we face in this journey of life is just a building block that enables us to be a lot stronger than we would have been! We seldom get to choose what our difficulties in life are, but we do always get to decide how we are going to handle them!

Thank you so much for visiting my site on this beautiful Saturday! I hope your weekend is starting off lovely and you will be able to enjoy the rest of it! Remember that this is the last Saturday of June, so make it wonderful! I do always encourage your amazing comments and I will respond to you as quickly as I possibly can! I do not have too many plans for the weekend, but I do have 2 award nominations and 2 tags to work on, so hopefully I will get them done by the end of the weekend! As always, I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Lesion Party

discouraging.jpgFor the past few weeks it seems that the issues I have had with my legs, arms and back has increased drastically! Now like most of us I was curious as to what could be causing this increase of pain, tingling, burning sensation and pins and needles, so I looked it up on Google. Oh my word looking things up online is almost worse than dealing with what the doctors have to say! Honestly the main reason why what I read online was disturbing is because it was pretty close to what I already suspected, but there really is something about reading it that makes it a little more upsetting.

It has been in my overworked and mildly stressed mind for weeks now that these issues are being caused from new lesions or those that were already present are active now. It shut down the partydoes not seem to matter if I am resting or moving around, the pain does not just go away! This possible lesion party that is going on in my body needs to be shut down! This party is more like a hostile takeover of my ability to live pain-free rather than a happy time with friends having fun like most parties are!

With all of the different issues I have been fighting with for far too long and keeping it from my doctor, today I finally have had enough and sent a message to my doctor to see her recommendations would be. Y’all already know that I completed paperwork last week to hopefully receive MRI assistance, as I do realize that is what is going to be needed, but I am still waiting to hear back about that. Do you just wish these doctors could hear what we are going through, make a true educated assessment and not have to go through the MRI ordeals? I personally think what we are suffering with could be something a true and competent specialist could easily figure out what is causing it and diagnosis the issue.

With all the said, I ended up staying out of work today because of how I was feeling. Even though my legs did not feel stable enough, I did get up when my alarm went off this morning  and made an attempt to try getting ready for work. However, when the short distance from ribbon-e1528247275292.jpgour room to the bathroom felt like 10 miles, I knew anything more would be too hard on my broken body. Crazy thing is I did rest all weekend, but it did not help at all! It really seems like rest hurts, moving hurts and basically anything I do is painful so what do you do when that happens?

I certainly hope y’all had a good start to the week and I hope you are feeling well. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my site today and your comments are always appreciated and encouraged. It may take me a little longer to respond just because it is a difficult day, but I promise I will respond! As always, no matter what I am going through I am sending y’all LOTS of love and comfort!

Love

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Fight the pain tears!

RTFRDRR_zpsstqz8fkyGood morning y’all! I hope you had a wonderful week and I really hope you have a fabulous weekend! This week was literally the first week in a while I was able to push myself through working the entire week. Despite the unrelenting pain I was feeling, I managed to work all five days for six very painful hours! Who would have ever thought that 30 hours in one week would be so difficult? I mean I used to work over 40 hours and not really struggle that much, it was just what had to be done.

There were days during this week that I did not think I would be able to continue in the day because my pain level was a 13 on the 10 scale, but I had something to prove to myself. I had to prove to no one but myself that I was still strong enough to handle a work day.  There were days that I would be almost in tears on the drive home, but that did not help the pain subside at all. Self pity has painnever really been for me, so I fought the tears vigorously trying to never allow even one tear to fall! I am not saying that tears are a sign of weakness, but I am way too stubborn to allow something like pain to keep me down for too long!

I get so tired of people saying things like, “Why do you not go on disability?” or “If this is too hard for you, go home.” or  “Why do you not just work part-time?” or just the pity stares because they are just making some unnecessary judgment call. It is so true that the only one person truly knows how you feel and that is you. No one can understand how I really feel because they do not have to walk in my shoes. So many speculate, but until they walk in my shoes for one day they have no idea what I am fighting. There are times that words do not do any justice to what I am dealing with, so I find peace in silence.

Thankfully the weekend is here and I have the opportunity to just rest my poor brokenpain makes you stronger body and allow it to do much-needed healing. The only things I plan to do this weekend is rest, write, read and I have a new project that I am so excited to work on which is a bullet journal! I was absent from making a post for a few days because I was just trying to manage my pain. After working 6 hours in a day my back, shoulder to my finger tips and legs were in so much pain I would not have been able to write the way I wanted to. When I create a post I want to be able to write with strength and from my heart which I am not able to do when I hurt too much.

Now my fun project I will be working on, the bullet journal was inspired by a fellow blogger Hannah https://hannahelizasite.wordpress.com/, who has created some fantasticcreativity bullet journals. If you have not already viewed Hannah’s site, you definitely should because she is so incredibly amazing!!! Hannah has been very helpful to me with creating my own bullet journal by giving me advice and answering questions I had! I think this is going to be a creative and fun way to keep track of my illness! Maybe a little creativity will help ease the pain I am feeling and also allow me to find ways to see common trends and maybe correct them!

I appreciate y’all stopping by my site today and do look forward to any comments you may have. I hope you have an amazing and relaxing weekend! As always no matter what I am going through, I am sending you LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Behind the scenes of life with Multiple Sclerosis!

My-life-with-Multiple-SclerosisGood morning Y’all🌼! I hope you have an amazing day!! I wanted to take a moment to share what life is like living each day with Multiple Sclerosis. It obviously is not all sunshine🌟 and rainbows🌈, there is so much more to it!

I have lived with Multiple Sclerosis for almost 18 very long years and this illness is still a mystery to me! I mean for some the cold makes them feel much better, whereas for others it makes them feel absolutely horrible. Some feel a little better with warmer temperatures and others it takes away all their energy and makes them feel terrible. ribbonThere is no right or wrong, it is all based on each individual person!

My doctor always told me that the heat is the worst thing for me and that might be true in a sense, but the heat does not bother me near as much as extreme humidity!!! Of multiple-sclerosis-quotes-3course the heat causes me a lot more fatigue, but it does not cause the increase pain that cold weather does. I actually swear by my friendly heating pad because it decreases my pain immensely! I might live in the city, but I am a beach girl at heart🏖! I love the beautiful and relaxing sounds of the ocean waves. I think it is the only time that I am not full of stress and anxiety.

The cold weather on the other hand causes me nothing but extreme pain because I get so tense from being cold. Of course with cold weather you can put enough layers of clothing on to stay warm, but the chill that lingers in the air can be miserable. I did find an thermacareamazing solution for dealing with the frigged temperatures. They sell a heating pad that is mobile and no batteries needed. This fabulous product is called Thermacare Heat Wrap.

Living with Multiple Sclerosis comes along with a lot of decisions that need to be made and sometimes they need to be made immediately, which I am not all that great at. There are tons of diseases modifying medications available now and finding the right one can be quite challenging. Of course when I was first diagnosed there was a limited amount of choices, so I put ALL of my trust into my doctor. We soon found out that I am not one that can give myself shots. The funny thing is I do not have any fears of needles; it was the only choice we havemedication I was injecting myself with that I could not handle. The medication would cause me to feel like I had the flu and burned like fire going in. I did try everything possible to stay on the injection based medications, but I failed and just stopped without telling my doctor at first! After a few months, I did finally confess to my doctor and we had to figure out what I would be comfortable with and could tolerate. After several failed attempts, I did finally find the medication that worked best for my body chemistry. My goodness my doctor was a very kind a patient man❤, it really is too bad he had to retire! I do not think I will EVER find another doctor I will connect to as much as I did him.

Of course there are always more decisions that need to made because MS is a constant changing illness. Even after deciding on the disease modifying medication there seems to always be more medications that doctors think should be taken. I do believe that living with MS you have to be willing and able to alter your life when necessary. To me it does seem that the conditions with MS can change at any moment and without any kind of warning.

positive over negativeOver my years with MS, I have experienced vision loss (which I did gain back), intense legs pains, muscle spasms throughout my entire body, fierce back pain, persistent headaches and some memory loss at random times, which is a little unsettling. But through it all, I have never truly given up. Of course I have had some massive frustration issues, but I will NOT let this illness to defeat the strong person I know I am. I am very determined to remain as strong as I possibly can, but I also want to help others hold onto their optimism. Y’all know that I am  a very strong believer in the fact that positive thoughts will bring positive results. I honestly believe that it takes a lot more energy to be negative than to just be as positive as you can!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today❤. I hope y’all enjoyed my thoughts on my life with MS so far and of course I will appreciate any comments you have. I do promise to respond to all comments just as soon as I possibly can. I hope y’all have a wonderful Wednesday! Thankfully we are half way through the week and the weekend is coming up soon. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

 

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Yesterday was World MS Day

world ms daySo World MS day was yesterday on May 30th and I did not make any posts about this. I did not ignore World MS Day because I do support the research, but MS is something that plagues my life everyday and it takes so much out of me. My energy level has been pretty low lately and I have been dealing with a lot of fatigue and PAIN! I only want to share information when I can put my heart❤ and soul into writing, but unfortunately yesterday just was not the day! I am trying my best to make up for this today💞!

Y’all know that I have battled MS for almost 18 years without ever giving into the illness. I made myself a promise when I was diagnosed that I would never allow this to control my life and that someday I would win the fight! I am a strong believer that positive thoughts brings positive things into our lives, but you also know sometimes that is easier said than done! MS adds so many different issues to everyone’s life and none of these funworld ms day 1 difficulties are the same for anyone! We all experience this illness in similar, but also different ways. I guess maybe that is the reason it has been so difficult for the doctor’s to figure out a cure, but someday I must believe it will happen for us! 

My journey with MS started when I had lost vision in my left eye, but thankfully the vision came back after a few days of steroids. Y’all already know that steroids are never any fun, but I have definitely had my fair share of this not so pleasant and I guess helpful drug. Over my years with MS, I have experienced so much pain at times and numbness at others, it has been absolutely miserable! But I still refuse to give in and keep fighting a good fight! 

I hope y’all have had a good Friday Eve and hope you are looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend! I really hope y’all are feeling well and of course staying as positive as you possibly can! We all must stay strong to fight through this illness until the wonderful day of a cure. Please never lose hope for this because I do believe it is going to happen for us! Your comments are really appreciated and I love❤ to read them. I do my very best to respond as quickly as I can! I will continue to always send you LOTS of love and comfort! 

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤