Forgiveness, is not always easy

Inspirational Quotes SJ image 1We have all heard so many times how important forgiveness is, but no one has ever said it was easy. It actually gets painfully hard to hear those same old meaningless words, “I’m sorry” or even worst, “It will never happen again” because they lost their significance years ago. These words had meaning before they were over used, but unfortunately now they are just empty words put together to form a sentence.

It often seems like the same people apologize for the same things time and time again,It’s-one-of-the-greatest-gifts-you-can-give-yourself-to-forgive.”-e1505928600412 almost like a revolving door. Nothing changed after the first, second, third or I lost count of how many times I have heard those words. I guess it is possible these people had temporary amnesia and did not remember what they were doing was causing irreplaceable pain and distress to those they love. There must be some kind of reasonable explanation, like major miscommunication or confusion because why would anyone cause the same heartache, to the same people, over and over again without making any changes in their behaviors?

arch_forgivenessWhen there have been too many years of tears falling for the same reasons, it is no longer only one person’s fault. Of course the person causing those tears is responsible and should have know, better, but the one with a tear stained face is responsible as well for allowing things to continue on the same dark path. No matter what the situation may be, we all have choices to make that can  alter what the end results will be.

I do understand there are times when someone wants help to correct their negative ways and in that situation at least they have already acknowledged the problem. At the same time, there are those that do not see anything wrong their behaviors and do nothing at all to make things better. In my personal 07-11-17-all-about-love-five-things-forgiveness-is-not-2opinion acceptance is a huge step for anyone to take, but implementing the much needed changes is another colossal step that takes time and patience. 

I will say that being able to forgive and forget isn’t easy, but will actually benefit the one that is forgiving. Letting go of anger and resentment will only create peace of mind. Having the knowledge that you are not able to help someone that doesn’t want help is vital! Also accepting the fact that you are not able to fix another’s troubles and problems is necessary because we unfortunately do not have magical powers. In all honesty, there is only one person that can correct their own lives and if they do not ask for help, there is nothing Awareness-and-Gratitudethat can be done. 

I wrote this not because of anything I was currently feeling, but what I have felt many times in the past. Life is difficult and when you are holding onto any negative feelings because of something you went through, it will only hold you back from living your own life. I have always been one that wants to fix everything for everyone else and accomplished nothing in the process. I often think that caring too much and investing too much into things with no end, only creates way too much stress.84dcc668249d70a1bb91eba8d2f544a8

Thank you so much for visiting my site today. This post may have been a little dark, but I did try adding light to it. Y’all know by now that everything I write comes from the heart with nothing but honesty. I do look forward to reading your thoughts on this and I will respond as quickly as I can. I hope you had a good day and you have a peaceful evening. Please always remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

love-2-e1526867753936

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Advertisements

Crazy day with falls!

images (1)Last Wednesday was a pretty crazy day for me. First, I left work early so I could be with my husband at our older cat Chloe’s doctor’s appointment.  Chloe is 14 years old and always been very healthy, but she has been losing a lot of weight lately and we knew it wasn’t normal. My poor baby was so scared in the short car ride and even more so waiting in the exam room.  Even though Chloe was getting her blood drawn and the doctor got a urine sample from her, she was surprisingly very well behaved. Chloe has a very unique little personality and does not put up with anything she doesn’t like, but she is also incredibly sweet and lovable.

The results from all of Chloe’s tests were not horrible, but they were not great either. My husband and I did some research prior to the appointment, so we would be prepared for the results. However, there is NO amount of 293research that could have prepared us for the results. Our 14 year old sweet baby girl has early stage kidney failure. We are trying to start the new food that will help her, but so far she doesn’t like it. This is just going to take a lot of patience and persistence to get her to eat the new food!

The evening part of Wednesday was not all that great either. Well it was more the late night download (5)part of Wednesday. For the first time in my life, I had two falls. The first fall happened around one in the morning and wasn’t that bad because I landed on my knees. The second fall happened shortly after the first around 1:30 am and it was horrible. I still do not know 100% what I hit my head on, the only thing I can think of is the window panel.

I immediately had a huge lump right above my left eye. My husband was so worried he took me to the emergency room. I was still pretty out of it when we were talking to the nurses and stayed that way when the doctor finally came in. The ER doctor had me wipe the sore that was showing, I guess so he could see if I needed stitches. Thankfully, I did not need stitches. After that, the doctor said we needed to do a CT to makeER sure there wasn’t a brain bleed. I am relieved the CT did not indicate a brain bleed or anything else that could be dangerous. I was released from the hospital with the directions to rest. It seems that the only thing that helps a concussion is rest!

I was having a lot dizzy spells before the fall, but now it is every time I stand up from the couch. I am not sure if the increased dizziness is from hitting my head or from the MS. I am also having some memory issues and tend to get confused easily.

In my 37 years, I have never had a black eye or a concussion. I hate how awful the nasty 17143.jpgblack eye looks and have not been able to cover it with make-up. I am going back to work on Monday, but will be sure to take it easy. Hopefully, the nasty eye will be better by then. Everyone knows my favorite color is purple, but I do not want my eye to be all dark purple! I am trying to listen to what the doctor said about reducing screen time, but I am still trying to do some in the blogging community. I of course will love reading your comments, but it may take me a little longer to respond.

I hope you are enjoying your weekend and of course feeling the best you can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

love-2-e1526867753936

 

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Coping with Chronic Pain

Sunday-QuoteCoping with chronic pain while still trying to maintain a normal life seems almost impossible at times and even a little frustrating! The beginning of this week was hard for me because I was on my feet way more than I could tolerate. I was truly thankful for the two days off I had, but work on Saturday was absolutely insane!

Currently I work at an apartment community in what should be a low stress position because I am just a leasing consultant. I arrived to work at 10:00 am and at 10:02 I had my first people arrive saying they were supposed to be moving in that day. There was no information anywhere on the other Restartleasing consultant’s desk and the manager keeps his office locked, which makes absolutely NO sense!!I ended up calling my co-worker on his day off, after all this was his lease and should have been handled on Friday. I was not at all surprised that he did not know which apartment the couple was moving into or what they owed. We tried contacting the property manager, who of course did not answer his phone or return the phone call. I ended up having to explain to the couple we would have to postpone their move in date until Monday because I was not able to get any of the information we needed. Thankfully, they did still have their other apartment, so they chaouswould not be forced to get a hotel room for the weekend.

The second person arrived at about 10:30 and this was my lease, so I knew what needed to be done. The gentleman just needed to view the three apartments I had available for his move in date. Consider his move in date was not right away, I was not allowed to hold a normal apartment for him. The three I was able to hold were slightly modified to accommodate a handicap individual, which he is not. Even though I disagreed with this situation, I did this at the direction of my manager! Thankfully he was satisfied with the first one because he wanted to be closer to the front of the community. This was the easiest situation I had to deal with all day!download (4)

Once I got back to the office, after showing the three apartments, there was another person waiting because she was also supposed to be moving in. With no surprise at all there was very limited information on my co-workers desk regarding the move-in, but at least I was able to find what the apartment number was and what the new resident owed. Unfortunately, the important things that were missing were the lease to be signed and keys to the apartment. My guess is the lease was in my manager’s LOCKED office and no one informed maintenance of the correct move-in day. I was able to work around the issues by giving the young lady the ONLY key we had and asking her to come into the office on Monday to sign her lease and get the real keys.

I do not handle things well when simple things do not go well. I remember asking my co-8767492ff9e8b5334f5408fde751e388-thankful-for-grateful-for-300x237worker early in the week to make sure ALL his move-ins were completed, which would have meant walking through the apartment to ensure there were NO issues, the lease was signed and apartment keys were waiting in the file. I gave him several days’ notice to handle things properly and in my opinion how he handled them were unacceptable. I blame him and the manager for how terrible things went yesterday, but I do plan to make some suggestions on Monday morning so this kind of thing NEVER happens again! I do not think this sets a horrible feel for someone moving in to a new apartment when nothing was handled in an appropriate manner!

The entire day was a total disaster and most of the issues could have and should have been images (1)avoided. Another HUGE issue I was dealing with was, phone call after phone call with residents complaining their air conditioner was not working. The maintenance person informed me that the new management company was not allowing them to buy Freon from the vendor they had been using for years, but did not have another vendor lined up. The residents are paying to live these apartment and therefore important things like a working air conditioner when the temperatures are in the high 90’s is a priority and should Work-Quotes-Jim-Collins-in-his-book-Good-To-Great-shares-that-we-need-to-get-the-right-peoplalso be a requirement!

By the end of my day on Saturday, I was not only over-heated, fatigued and in an insane amount of pain, but I was also extremely irritated. It is not fair to force someone to pay for an apartment and then not fix things that break! If I am not mistaken, it is in the lease agreement what each party is responsible for.

It is now Sunday and my last day of the my short weekend before going back to work five days in a row. Unfortunately, even though I am trying to rest, my pain is still rather high. It seems like things have just continued to add up for me and I almost feel like I am trying to walk uphill in quicksand! At this point all I can do is hope this upcoming week will go much better and things will start to ease up.download (4)

Thank you for stopping by my site today! I am sorry this was a bit of rant, but my goodness if only people could act right, I would not have to go on rants! I always appreciate you and your amazing comments! I hope you have had a lovely weekend and you are able to enjoy the last day of it. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

love-2-e1526867753936

 

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Our Choices…..

download (6)The choices we make today, may impact us tomorrow, next week or even next year. We will never really know when or how the impact will occur, but it will. All of the choices we make will have either negative consequences or provide us with a reward of some kind.

 Maybe I am wrong, but I do believe when we face various situations there are two roads we can choose to travel down. I am not saying the two roads are crystal clear nor do they2 roads have sign indicating which road is the correct way to go. However, I think we all know the difference between right and wrong, but we are all human-beings that make mistakes and may not choose the wrong road the first time around.

After taking the wrong road numerous times throughout our life, this teaches us many valuable lessons we will cherish. If you are anything like me, you beat yourself up for days because you made an incorrect decision. It takes me much longer to forgive myself than it does for me to forgive someone else. Sometimes we might make the wrong choice images (2)several times, but the lessons learned from this will stick with us.

Have you ever tensed up and or panicked when asked a question about something you may have done wrong? This can pretty much be considered a “fight or flight” reaction and the end results more often than not, are not a good one. I do not believe anyone reacts well when they are badgered with the same damn thing for days or even weeks! I don’t know about you, but this type of situation makes me shut down completely. This often brings up SO many negative emotions and memories for me which I have tried so hard to forget themimages (5).

Life works in mysterious ways and there are so many struggles that come along during our lifetime and normally without any warning. No matter what trials and tribulations I may face, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I know I will never understand why I am forced to deal with certain things, like living with MS, but what I can say is, as long as I am breathing I will never surrender or give up. I have always believed firmly that the only way we can fail is to give up and this is something I will always refuse to do!

ff309e10cdfddaaae004ed16f196e947.jpgI remember, when I was first diagnosed with MS at the young age of 19, I wondered what I did so wrong to deserve this as my punishment. Although as I have gotten older, I do not view living with MS as a punishment, but I see it as a way to prove my strength and determination to survive! I also view living with MS as a way to help others realize that life does go on, but some adjustments may need to be made. I strive to show others living with a chronic illness and even those not battling an illness, that there is still hope and how remaining positive will be a benefit!images (3)

Thank y’all so much for visiting my site today! I hope your weekend has been lovely and you were able to do things that made you happy. After the crazy week I had, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. I can say without a doubt that the pedicure helped the pain I was feeling in my feet and lower part of my legs. I think a pedicure a month should be required and even prescribed from my doctor! Even if it is short lived, it is amazing how much the foot massage helps my pain. I hope you are enjoying the final days of the weekend and you are prepared for the week ahead. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

It wasn’t meant to be easy

life has a funny wayLife has a funny way of throwing random things in our direction when they are least expected and often VERY unwanted. It definitely isn’t easy, but these are the times we must pick ourselves up, dust off the difficulties and strive to carry on!

For the most part, I think that the troubles we get faced with happen to remind us just how strong we truly are. We all go along through the motions of any given day and never stop to give ourselves the much deserved credit for the accomplishments we have made. Our daily routines have become so embedded into our minds that we just naturally react to every situation in the best way possible. Sometimes things will work out right the first time around and other times we have to try again! The best way to handle these situations is, NEVER GIVE UP! As long as we choose to not give up and remain determined to succeed, we will never fail.download (3)

What happens when something occurs that was so unexpected; it throws major a wrench in our day to day activities? Of course the process we need to go through may be challenging to figure out, but our minds will lead us in the right direction, if we just listen to our own intuition.

Sometimes life becomes more like a movie that is just set to automatic repeat, or at least it is for me. Monday-Friday every day is the same, which is perfectly fine and preferred. What some might call boring and predictable, I call calm and drama-free! With all the insanity that goes on in this world, who really needs additional drama? I actually love coming images (14)home to be greeted by my ❤ husband and two adorable cats❤! We eat dinner while watching our favorite shows and then just spend good quality time together. I will read, write or crochet in the evenings, so it is very calm, happy, and peaceful!

When I stop to think about how precious life is and how quickly things can change, I am thankful for what I do have in my life. Sure maybe life may have been easier if I didn’t have MS, but I do and I choose to continue living! I try to NOT think about what could have happened or what should have happened because really, what is the point? 63449-Life-Has-Many-Ways-Of-Testing-A-Person-s-WillAnything that did happen did so for reasons I may never know and that is okay. Hell, if it was not MS it may have been something far worse.  

My heart breaks for the people out there that do not have the faintest idea of what actually makes them happy. It almost seems as though these people got lost somewhere along the way and never managed to find themselves. I cannot say they did not try, but I might say they gave up the search. I have known people that went through some pretty severe depression, but even in their darkest hours knew a couple images (15)things that did bring them joy. Of course, those joys did often get shadowed over by their negative thoughts and bad situations, but they were still able to recognize a few positive things in their life. Unfortunately, I have also learned that I do not have the power to turn someone’s mind around when it is clouded with depression. In times like these, there is only one person that can create happiness and that is themselves. For instances, my mother has been struggling lately and neither herDPere-vWAAAeBey husband nor myself can make her truly happy, she needs to do that on her own. I hate to put that so bluntly, but it is the truth and I do think that any legit therapist would agree with me on this for anyone.

The sad reality is life can be harsh and painful, but it is how we handle it that counts. Challenges happen to everyone, no matter how you are or where you live. Unlike so many other things in this world, hard times do not discriminate and will try destroying anyone images (16)and anything that stands in the way. The good news is, if you never surrender and continue fighting back, those hard times will move onto its next victim.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today! I do encourage you to take a moment to leave a comment because I love knowing what you think of what I share. I hope you are having a pleasant day and you are feeling the best you can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

My accident that shouldn’t have happened!

images (15)Just because a bad day may have turned into a bad week doesn’t mean that we have done something to deserve the troubles we are faced with! All this could mean is, whatever has occurred in our life was just meant to happen exactly when it did and not a moment sooner or later. I know this does not make it any easier to accepted, but I promise life will continue moving forward in the order it supposed to.

My week started off incredibly aggravating because I was dealing with way too many hostile, spiteful and negative co-workers. Even though we are all on the same “team”, we do images (14)work on slightly different tasks. Now each person and each different task contributes to the success of the work getting completed accurately. The ultimate goal for everyone on the “team” should be to ensure the client receives their medication that keeps them alive on time. However, it seems like some of these co-workers get angry we with me because I am able to get more work completed in less time than they can. During one of their many complaint parties, I nonchalantly said how much I understood where they were coming. This was just a way to get them to stop their download (8)complaining and also let them see I also had struggled before.  When I was asked how I managed to do what I do as fast as I do it, I said I had to play with different ways of organizing before I had one that was perfect for me! Of course being the person I am, I shared with them my work-flow with details.

Even though dealing with several snide and bitter co-workers was not easy, it is far better than dealing with purchasing health insurance. I know I have already made my views about this topic perfectly clear, but I actually found out more horrendous images (15)information on Thursday morning. If I were to go through my employer for health insurance the cost would be outrageous and that is an understatement.  My husband and I decided to purchase our own health insurance policy, well at least until he finds job that offers insurance at a more reasonable rate. We were both very pleased when we saw that the monthly rates and deductibles were far lower than the plan through my job. The plan I would get through my employer was going to only include myself and would cost about half my paycheck. The plan we can purchase would include both me and my husband and cost 21%t less than the one I could get through my employer.

The funny thing is, it isn’t even the cost anymore that has me so upset and disgusted because things got even worst. On Thursday morning, my husband and I were talking images (14)before I started work and he told me that the policy we can purchase will NOT cover pre-existing conditions until January. Y’all already know that I do have a pre-existing condition and I worried the day would come when an insurance company could discriminate against me for something I cannot control! It seems like insurance companies and the government want to punish people more that have a chronic illness and this is just NOT right! I think we are punished enough with what we already have to deal with. Maybe I am too emotionally close to this situation, but how the hell can anyone sleep at night when they are creating an awful situation for many Americans?

On Thursday, I ended up leaving work early because my pain and headache were at a high. I thought going home to rest would actually help me recover and feel better. images (16)Unfortunately, I was wrong because no more than 5 minutes of being in the car, I was in an accident. The accident was not my fault; it was the fault of a young kid. We both had a green light, but he was “supposed” to yield to on-coming traffic.

In all the years I have been driving this was the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. Things kind of went in slow motion before the cars collided with each other. I did everything I could to avoid the crash, but it wasn’t enough. When I realized the kid was not going to stop, I laid on my horn and my foot was appearance of twoon the brake. My car is SO little and I know things could have gone much worst that they did, but it was still terrible. The sound the cars made when they made contact with each other, scared the hell out of me. I always act like a lady and try to be polite, but I got out of my car with furry and colorful language. The stupid and ignorant kid never even had the decency to apologize to me. The only thing this idiot said to me was, “We need to move the cars out of the road.” This was the first accident I have ever been in and I basically told him hell no, not until the police arrive. Honestly there were many more words than that, but I thought it was best to keep this a lot cleaner than The two carsit was!

I know my first call should have been 911, but mine was to my husband. We live so close to where the accident happened and I needed him there immediately. Thankfully my husband got to me in less than 5 minutes. When I called 911, the dispatch lady did tell me to move the cars, but of course I took pictures first. I wanted the cop to see the end result and there to be no questions at all whose fault it was.

The end result was my car was towed to a car repair place and the kid drove away with hardly any damage to his jeep. I am going to need to get a rental car until my car has been fixed, but I am terrified to drive again. Two days after the accident, I am still very sore. Y’all know I am use to dealing with pain, but it has elevated drastically. I am doing my best to just rest because that is the only thing that will calm the pain down.

on-the-tow-truck.jpgAnother thing I must say is, if my husband wasn’t there with me at the accident scene I would have been way too shaken up to handle it. Even with him there I was inconsolable and just cried and shook. Later he told me he was worried I was going to have a heart attack. In an effort to make me feel better, my husband gave me a new crochet bag and hooks, which are so great!! He has also been very attentive and helpful! I do want to let y’all know that I am okay after this accident and only dealing with extra pain.

Unfortunately I think we have all probably had a bad day or even a bad week when nothing seems to be going the right way. There comes a time when we have that thought, “Why me?” or “What did I do so wrong to deserve this?”  Well the truth is, there are NO reasons at all and it is definitely not a punishment. My experience with negative people and greedy insurance companies is just part of life. Even though I don’t know what it is, there was a reason for the accident to happen. We have been discussing selling my little car and images (17)getting me something that is much safer and maybe this accident was a push to do so!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I always appreciate your kindness and love reading your comments. I am sorry this post was SO much longer than I normally do, but I had so much to share with you.  I hope your weekend is going well and please be careful if you have to drive anywhere, it can be very dangerous out there! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤, comfort, and may positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Things I never wanted to know!

images (12)Sadly, struggles with healthcare in the United States are not only terrifying but also incredibly real. I am not trying to be negative but healthcare in the United States is a massive joke that is NOT at all funny! Recently I found out just how much insurance was going to cost me through my company and it is outrageous. This has caused my husband and I to start looking into buying our own insurance. This also raised my curiosity into what is really going on with health care within the country I am living in.

In 2018, the costs of health care in the United States skyrocketed drastically!  In an familynursing2018-1468analysis from the US Federal government, it was found that Americans would spend $3.65 trillion for health care. With this appalling amount for health care, it represents each person would spend $11,212. Breaking it down even further, 59% of the spending is going to hospitals, doctor’s appointments and clinical services. Even prescription costs have increased 3.3% over the years.  In my personal opinion, this is ridiculous and only shows sheer greed. According to data from the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development, spending on health care in the United States is by far the higher that any other developed country.

The GDP (Gross Domestic Products) in the United States is larger than countries like health costBrazil, the UK, Mexico, Spain, and Canada. Reports from the Journal Health Affairs have estimated an average annual growth rate of 5.5% just from 2018 to 2027. Now if things continue as they have been, health care will be 19.4% of the country’s entire GDP! Unfortunately, according to the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, wage growth remains below 4% and yet insurance prices will only increase! This is wrong on so many levels and yet there is no one trying to fix this issue! Actually, there are a few people fighting hard to correct the madness and they are Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren in the senate and a several other progressives in the house. 

Even Private Health Insurance is only going up in price! Spending per person rose 4.5% between 2017 and 2018, even though the individual was already in the exact same insurance policy.

To say this is ludicrous is a HUGE understatement! Health insurance should not be a CR-Money-Inlinehero-short-term-health-care-expense-0918privilege, but it should be a right! It is despicable the way this is being handled among pharmaceutical companies and our own government. There are so many people graphoid080818including myself that need insurance or we will never be able to afford the medications that the doctor prescribes for valid reasons. Many of the medications we get at the pharmacy are required so our illness does not progress at a rapid rate.

I think it is obvious I think it is a disgrace that all the pharmaceutical and insurance companies care about it how much money they can make and not about the well-being of others. What ever happened to humanity or did it ever really exist? Once upon a time, the United States was at the top for education and health care and now it is only at 27th in the entire world. It is pathetic that doctors do not care as much as they did years ago for their patients, but download (3)now it is all about their paycheck! They get patient after patient, rush them without listening to anything their patient is saying, which is terrible!  I am pretty sure that doctors completely forgot what the Hippocratic Oath says and might need a refresher!

I apologize that this post may have seemed negative, but I am very frustrated with how awful health care is in the country I live in. I am not sure if I was just extremely naive before best-health-insurance-in-usa-1and things have always been the way they are now or if something just went very wrong in the thinking of Americans! I guess I may never know.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today. I hope your weekend has been great and you are enjoying every moment of it. Even though this was kind of a rant of my feelings, I would love to read your thoughts on this topic. I promise to respond as quickly as I can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤