Crazy decisions and side effects!

side effectsI have always thought it was a little crazy and extremely frustrating that medications meant to slow the progression of illnesses down, are accompanied by a long list of possible side effects. I know that the Gilenya I take daily is supposed to slow the progression of my Multiple Sclerosis, but it has a really LONG list of potential side effects and at one point that was what pushed me to want to make a change in my treatment plan.

The middle of last year I was having so many issues with terrible sinus headaches and migraines that I wanted to find out what was causing them. After reviewing what side images (2)effects Gilenya posed, I saw somethings that were common was headaches and sinus troubles. I was not just looking the side effects up on Google, but I was on Gilenya’s actual website, so I took this very serious as I am sure most people would. I went to my doctor with these concerns and she pretty much dismissed my thoughts claiming that it was not all that common with this medication and that I shouldn’t be doing this kind of research because it was “false” information. I argued back asking how it could be false when it was on the manufactures real website!? Of course I was frustrated that my valid concerns regarding my health was being ignored and not even willing to discuss more at that oral_therapy02time, so I decided to ignore her medical advice and demanded that I try a new medication immediately. It wasn’t until I told her there was another oral medication I read about that I thought would be better for me she finally decided it was worth her precious time to have a conversation with me. She tried her darndest to use the fear tactic, which of course wasn’t working well with me and only caused me to question her logic further. I know it sounds crazy, but I was completely convinced that she was receiving kick-backs from the drug company and me not changing medications would continue to be financially beneficial to her.

In preparation to change my treatment plan from Gilenya to Tecfidera I discontinued the Gilenya last July. I was required to be off medication completely for 6 weeks, so all the 51WIQmA-fnL._SL1000_Gilenya I had taken needed be out of my system and allow the Tecfidera to be able get into my system. In early September I started on Tecfidera which again is an oral medication. During this time my MS did not get better, but much worse! I guess MAYBE the doctor was correct when she said Tecfidera wasn’t going to be strong enough for me or maybe I had the nasty relapse because of ALL the stress I was under. I was so worried about the headaches and the fact that Gilenya could have been the cause and then even more concerned that my MS was progressing way too soon in my life. Whatever the cause was the MRI I had in early October was HORRIBLE, landing me right back to the drug I was convinced was causing my headaches!

It still doesn’t seem fair to me that we have to make the decision if we would rather deal Gilenya+Fingolimidewith the side effects of these so-called helpful drugs or be disabled. As difficult as it is to deal with the massive headaches/migraines, I would much rather deal with them rather than lose my normal abilities, like walking without assistance. I still do not think it is right for anyone to have to make a decision like this, but I guess it is what it is!

I have been back on the Gilenya for a little over a year now and I do still deal with sinus trouble and migraines, but at least the MS hasn’t to have progressed. I do think that until there is a cure for MS, which I must believe will happen in my lifetime, I will not be changing medications! Now that my husband and I have completed our move, I am ms-research-2013-6-638searching for a new MS Specialist, who will hopefully be more knowledgeable and have much better bedside manner. I know I have already shared this with y’all, but I am NOT a fan of my previous specialist. As crazy as this may sound, I want a specialist that is an older gentlemen because I have found they are more understanding and considerate. Of course going with an older person, I run the risk of them retiring, like two of my previous specialist did and I absolutely ❤ LOVED❤ them! I am sure that with the determination I have, I will find one that is best for me and my personality. I guess it shouldn’t be as important to have the warm and fuzzy with a doctor as it is for the doctor to be knowledgeable, but I need to feel comfortable with them in order to trust the doctor.

I always appreciate you taking the time to stop by my site today and I always love reading your got-hope1comments! I hope y’all are having a nice weekend and you are feeling as good as you possibly can! I must say having a long weekend is absolutely wonderful and I have been able to rest, but still do things that needed to be done! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of ❤ love, comfort and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Pick-Me-Up Thursday!

Happy Friday EveGood morning y’all! I hope your week went well and I am sure you are looking forward to the weekend! Weekends are much better for me now, as I do not have to make the four-hour round trip back to handle things in our townhouse! I am finally able to spend weekends doing things that I want to do, not have to do!

Now that we only have one more day before the weekend arrives, we all need a little pick-me-up to make it through that one day! I hope you enjoy and find the quote I am sharing inspiring! Sometimes the smallest steps we take in life, can make the biggest difference in the big picture.happy-quotes-images-ideas-pics-images-38

I am really looking forward to reading what your thoughts are on this quote. It never fails, all of your comments and thoughts make me incredibly happy❤

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I hope you have a wonderful and I hope you are feeling the best you possibly can! For many of us good days are hard to come by and feeling good is different for all of us, so we must take advantage of the days we actually do feeling well! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

My heart breaks for…

good-morning-tuesday-e1542068365249.jpgGood morning y’all! I hope you are doing well and your week has started off great. There is so much going on in this world that can break anyone’s heart❤. But what is going on here in the states in California is so tragic. 

So many have already lost their homes and their personal possessions that just will never be able to be replaced. As of this moment at least 11 people have lost their lives which is so incredibly sad. Y’all already know this about me, I love ❤ animals and I am sure many of them have not only lost their homes, but their lives as well. This is a tragedy here on myernesthemingway1.jpg own home soil and I wish there was something I could do for those going through this horrible event. 

I don’t believe enough is being done for those fighting for their lives in California. I don’t appreciate what is being said about it being the fault of the government in California. They were doing the best they could and this massive fire wasn’t able to be avoided ,as fires are a life of their own. I maxresdefaultthink the best thing we can all do at this point is to send as many prayers and positive vibes to all those in the path of this fire. Everyone in California deserves LOTS of love❤ and compassion right now. 

Thank y’all for visiting my site this morning. I hope if you live in California, you are somewhere where you will be safe. Please know that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Zest for Life, Love & Strength!

Zest for life, love and strengthGood afternoon y’all! I hope you are enjoying your weekend and for those of us living in the states, I hope y’all are enjoying your long weekend! I sincerely hope you are feeling well. I can honestly tell you that I have been doing my best to not do much of anything and just enjoy my three days away from living on a schedule.

I think it is safe to say that we all go through difficult times over the course of our life. We will question anything and everything about what we are going through and the life we are living, only to not get any real true answers. I might be wrong, but I do believe that life was never meant to be easy. Even if we do not notice it, we learn and gain so much strength and knowledge with the challenging time we all face.Sunrise - Carolina Beach

I guess I feel that with all we deal with every single day of our life it can be pretty challenging. However we still must find the ability to enjoy the life we were given, love ourselves and those important to us and of course remember the strength we carry within ourselves as it is extremely powerful!

Even when life throws numerous curve balls at us, daily or even hourly, we still manage to do our best to bounce back from every hit. Some of the hits might be a little more intense than another, but that still doesn’t stop us! Each of us is full of love and determination, which enables us to keep up our fight for a pleasant life.

9c567cf19e3e6a689483b44f7f2ac52f--my-style-so-trueIt is crazy to think that every struggle makes us stronger because some of us have been to hell and back again so many times that we lost count, but still we may feel weak at times. I know over the 18 years I have lived with Multiple Sclerosis, there have been days I have felt like I was being punished for who know what. However, even with every horrible situation I have been through with this illness, I have never allowed Multiple Sclerosis to ruin my life and defeat me ever!

Do you ever wonder how you find the strength to get up every morning when you do not know how what do expect? Many chronic quote17-04illnesses are very unpredictable. This can mean that every day is different from another or even being a little more real, every hour of the day can different. This comes down to always being prepared for the unexpected and just keep moving forward without hesitation. This is not easy for anyone and yet that is what all of us do!

I do believe that we all have a “Zest for life, love and strength” because most days we all have the enthusiasm and energy to do it all and much more! There might be days we feel so exhausted from pain, which honestly can make us feel helpless, but just the fact that we have not given up shows our true inner strength. I think even in our weakest moments we still have a determined power that keeps us on track with our goals for life.  Is there zest for lifeanyone that is part of your life deal with what you do daily? I without a doubt can so ABSOLUTELY NOT! I would gladly change places with anyone when I hear what their very minor complaints are! The truth is, we all handle our struggles differently and for those that have been lucky enough to  have never had to endure what all of us do, they just do not understand and we can’t force them to comprehend!

Thank y’all for taking the time to visit my site today! I hope you enjoyed what I have written about today and really look forward to your comments, which I will respond to just as quickly as I can! I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday and if this is a three-day weekend for you, I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

The world keeps spinning!

The world keeps spinningThe world seems to keep spinning around me so fast, but I feel like I standing still. I think it might be important to just accept the things in life that we have no control over and just embrace life for what it is. There really is so much about life that we might want to change, but I think whatever we might be living with or dealing with is in front of us for a reason. The reasons might be unknown, but there are reasons that we will discover someday!

If you sit down and really think about the way your life has played out, is there any outcome you would want to be different? All the struggles we might have encountered have not made us weak by any means, but they have all built our strength to continue onstruggle is real fighting a good fight! Sure none of us want to have a chronic illness or financial struggles or anything that might appear to be a negative aspect of life, but if we did not go through all the trials in life who would we be? I would like to think that everything we go through in life creates who we are and how we treat others, but maybe we would still be the same person if we did not go through any hard times. No one can say and be 100% sure!

Personally, I have always been very empathetic towards others and sympathetic to other’s needs. Everyone’s thoughts and emotions matter to me❤! I guess I am and probably always will be a very sentimental and sometimes overly emotional person. The way I am now has not changed since I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I am just me!

There are so many people we all encounter that never learned how to be empathetic, which if you think about it is pretty sad for them. I guess for some people, especially in the world we live in frederickdouglass1today, if you have never experienced a life altering illness that causes many different issues, they are unable to understand. It is okay for people to not fully understand, but they should never judge another because how they say they are feeling. Pain is VERY REAL! Migraines are VERY REAL! Instability when walking is VERY REAL! Mood changes are also VERY REAL! Everything we deal with in life is VERY REAL! None of us asked to have a chronic illness and I am sure we all wished we didn’t. But considering we have one, we face the world with a different perspective that involves a lot of acceptance and willingness to make changes at a moment’s notice. Our days are typically never the same, but most of never complain about it, we just manage it the best we can.

Basically I have taught myself and I am still learning how to accept the fact that I haveaccept what we can not control no control over many things in my life. I know I can control how I view situations and how I react to them, but that is all!  As a person that might have some control issues, this isn’t easy for me. I have always had a strong desire to make the lives of those I care about better. Learning that I have NO control over how someone else’s life works out for them is hard! I have learned that there isn’t anything I can do to make life easy for anyone because I do not think life was meant to always be easy! We all just need to live our life to the fullest and never dwell on what we think or wish would happen!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today! I always appreciate you taking the time to read my sometimes random thoughts and really LOVE reading your comments! I hope y’all are having a wonderful weekend and I hope you are feeling well. Please always know that I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Result are finally in!!

drum-roll-pleaseGood evening y’all! I hope you had a great day and you are thankful tomorrow is Friday, I know I am! I have definitely had a long week because I was so stressed about what my MRI results were going to show. I can honestly say that worrying and stressing did not change the results!

I am beyond happy to share with y’all that the MRI I had on Friday was MUCH better than the one I had last October. In October, in the words of my neurologist, my brain was on FIRE with many new and very active lesions. That was terrifying for me to learn as I am sure it would be for anyone, but the one I just had improved drastically. The numerous good resultslesions that were causing all my issues last year have healed as much as they are going to! My absolutely fabulous NP was so happy to see how much better my MRI was on Friday in comparison to how horrible it was last year! She told me and my husband how surprised she was to see how much I have managed to improve in just ten short months! She also said that it seems that Gilenya is just the right MS drug for me! I told her that I have NO intentions of changing stress-effects-fbmedications again until there is a cure! I am not preaching that everyone should be on Gilenya because we all have different body chemistry. What works for me might have the adverse effect on someone else. 

We did talk about the dizziness and pain I am still dealing with. She has said to me many times before that she thinks that my pain could be caused from the stress I seem unable to control. We have all heard many times that stress is a killer and I do really believe that! You know there is an app for everything, but she shared an app with me about stress and MS. I am going to give it a chance, I mean it can’t hurt anything!stress is the cause This app is available for iPhone and Android under the play store, it is called ImageryWork. There is also a website if you are interested, Imagerywork.com. I have known for a long time that I needed to get a handle on my stress because I have felt what it does to my body. It will be SO INCREDIBLY wonderful if controlling and managing my stress will eliminate the majority of my pain! I think I have lived with this pain for way too long and maybe there is something I can do to help it!

There are a number of reasons I could be experiencing dizzy spells. One the she really pushed on me was eating more! Both her and my husband dizzinessthink I should try eating 4-5 smalls meals each day, which I never do! I am going to try having small snacks throughout the day and not worrying about whether it is healthy or not and if I am going to gain a lot of weight! Weight has always been a huge worry of mine and I know how stupid that is in the big picture. Truthfully, I am NOWHERE near being overweight, in fact I am underweight according to the NP. 

So, I guess what I learned today is all the issues I am having, like increased pain and dizziness is my own fault. I am going to work on making the necessary changes to mytrytobea-min health so I will actually feel normal, whatever that is! All of the support and encouraging comments I have received from y’all have been SO appreciated. Y’all helped me through a very difficult time, which I guess I kind of caused. I really am very relived that my MS is not progressing like I was thinking and that the Gilenya is doing it’s part for me!

I hope y’all have a wonderful and relaxing evening! Please always know that no matter what I might be dealing with, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Changing my thought process!

800px_COLOURBOX18602182Good evening y’all! I hope you have had a wonderful Wednesday! Thankfully we are half way through the week and only have two days left until we reach the weekend! I am pretty sure we can make it two days! Of course, I could not be any happier tomorrow is FINALLY Thursday, the day I have waited for since last week! 

I think y’all know that I have done nothing but stress myself silly about the MRI I had last Friday. Tomorrow afternoon is when I will get the “official” results and will actually be able to talk with the NP. So thinking in a logical state of mind, did me getting all worked up do anything for the good? ABSOLUTELY NOT! In fact, all that stress only caused me to feel twice as much pain, which has honestly been miserable! I think the worrying was a complete waste of time!

I have adopted a new way of thinking and I feel that is much more healthy for my mind changeand body. There is nothing at all I can do to change what the results of my MRI are, so why bother thinking about it anymore? If my MRI results are the same as they were in October, when the doctor said it was the “worst” MRI she had ever seen, so be it! I guess it is  better to be the same instead of there being even more active lesions and I will handle it the best I can. I think I am a pretty strong person and can tolerate anything life throws my way.

Multiple Sclerosis can have constant changes and we must learn new ways to get through our life. Of course, if there are no changes at all and I will be forced to just get through the rest of my life with a lot of pain, it could be much worse!

I am a fighter and will never allow for this illness to consume my life. I did promise imagesmyself 18 years ago, when I was diagnosed that I would never surrender to it and I would find a way to control the illness, not the other way around! I know this post is a lot different and lighter than some of my previous posts, but I am learning to just accept what I can not control or change and continue on with the life I was given!

Thank you for visiting my site today and thank you from the bottom of my heart❤ for ALL of your support during these past few stressful days! I do know that I was getting incredibly stressed for NO reason at all! I hope you have a wonderful and restful evening. I am going to try to share the news I get tomorrow afternoon once I get home, you know as long as I am not too upset! As always please remember that I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤