More talk about MS!

ms march awarenessMultiple Sclerosis is a very complex and frustrating battle to face. Unfortunately, this illness does impact everyone’s life in  so many different ways and to the point it’s almost hard to pinpoint what is what! There have been various names people choose to use when referring to  MS; such as the snowflake disease or invisible illness. I think these terms can also be used in many other chronic illnesses as well because they are fitting. I mean if you think about it, there are no two snowflakes that are exactly the alike,  just like no illnesses experiences the exact same symptoms. Also, there are so many of these illnesses that are completely naked to the eye, so they are pretty much invisible in the bigger picture. 51209211_2039825619447292_5206443739896197656_n

Let me ask my wonderful fellow bloggers, whether you live with MS or know someone else that does, what do you already know about this not so fun illness? Honestly,I think the only thing everyone knows to be 100% true is this illness can vastly differ for each individual! There might be times throughout the years each person with MS will unfortunately have a new symptom emerge and they need to learn to cope with this. While no one wants to deal with anything additional and all symptoms can be daunting, there  really are always ways to carry on with life!

symptomsI know there may be countless responses to this, but what are your top 5 most challenging issues you have been forced to accept during your journey? One thing I find very challenging and the most aggravating is how completely unpredictable this illness is. I have and probably always will be an obsessive planner! It drives me crazy for any unplanned issues to appear without any warning! Over the years, I have learned to expect the unexpected and be willing to rearrange my plans.

Another part of my MS life I find challenging, but am learning to accept is there are th-26-300x111NEVER any real answers for the numerous questions I ask my doctor. I would have never thought my questions were so difficult that my specialist can’t answer them. I mean these doctors go through enough schooling they should have a wealth of knowledge to match this. I am sure the schooling for many years is very expensive and probably more money than I will make in MANY years! Maybe while in school they should have a class in good bedside manner because most neurologist have a terrible personality. I think they have a godlike and ego maniac demeanor. 

flat,550x550,075,f.u4The third challenging aspect of this life that I have almost accepted is, the complete ignorance and total lack of empathy most people have for others. The ugly glances and degrading comments I have seen and heard over my years, especially when I park in a handicap parking space are nothing short of hurtful! Even though I have lived with this for many years, these glances and comments still can bring me to tears. This really doesn’t have anything to do with me, but is all on them! These people probably believe that misery loves company and try to bring me down to their level, which I try to avoid!

It doesn’t matter how long I have struggled with this illness, fatigue still tries to kick my Worst-MS-symptombutt daily! It was always complicated for me when I was working full-time because it never failed at about 1:00 or 2:00 if I am lucky I was exhausted! I have accepted this issue and try my best to conserve my energy so I am not ready for a nap at lunch time!

Lastly and to keep this from being too terribly long, the final challenging thing for me to accept is the constant pain I feel. It often seems like I am going to always to battle with pain and with little to no relief. I do know that dwelling on this pain only causes the pain to worsen instead of lesson and this just  isn’t an option for me! I do try focusing on the positive in my life instead of the negative hoping these thoughts will trick my body into healing! I also believe acceptance is half the battle and laughcan help keep my stress in check which will in-turn lessen the pain.

I would like to thank y’all for stopping by my site today. I told y’all on March 1st that for MS Awareness month I wanted to shed more light on this illness because knowledge is power! I am looking forward to reading your comments and do hope this was helpful for you!

I hope you have had a good week and of course hope you are feeling well. The weekend is finally here and  I hope you enjoy every moment of it! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and  many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Crocheting helps with curve balls!

quote-inner-power-giant-todaySometimes life can throw a massive curve ball our way that ends up hitting us head on and hard as hell! During the past few weeks while I have been dealing with pain, heartache, disappointment and LOTS of stress it has been great to turn my attention to something that has eased my mind and given me some peace. Do y’all agree that being able to focus on something besides the stress and hardships of life is much healthier for the mind and health rather than to being absorbed by the negative is the best approach? I sure do!

Y’all might remember that during the holidays I was working on crocheting a blanket for our love seat that would match one I made previously for our couch. Well over the past f155b8cbaa1c506f981db978b13ec991few weeks I decided to focus my attention on making another blanket for our space bedroom! This has really helped ease my mind and provided me with LOTS of comfort, all while creating something that I think will be beautiful!!

Many years ago I learned how to crochet what’s called the “Granny Square” blanket. I know the name used to make me feel old, but it is a really easy pattern that you can just get completely lost in!

The one I just mentioned that I am making for our spare bedroom is going to be three 59d475ba81f82ed3c7607d4f45425c97different colors. I started with three rows of deep purple, two rows of grey and then two rows of black and just stayed with that color scheme. It fits well considering the bathroom attached to the spare bedroom is two shade of purple! I bet you can’t tell what my favorite color is! I promise, it isn’t difficult at all to change colors and actually gets easier the more you do it.

I am definitely not a pro with crocheting, but it might be the only thing that actually CsLOs_WWEAElIvNcalms my VERY tense and uptight nerves. I am going to share a few YouTube videos in case you wanted to give this a chance. If you are anything like me and gets insanely stressed out about everything, this might be very helpful for you!  These videos are pretty easy to follow and you will learn how to start a Granny Square and change colors if you want more than one color!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g1yINMJQyI&t=447s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26ncIHthj_I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ResetFtgRgY

Please do not feel any pressure to try this; I just wanted to share with you what has 1.30.19-phone-300.jpghelped me through many hard times in life. If you are interested, I do know another type that I will share with you soon, but only if there is an interest. I did want to share with y’all the two of the blankets I have made. The brown, tan and black is the one for the love seat and the 1.30.19-phone-305.jpgpurple, black and great is the one that is in progress.

 I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and feeling great or at least the best you can! I am looking forward to reading any thoughts you may have about this post, if you are interested in learning to crochet or if you already know how to! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Fighting to find motivation again

bad daysSometimes things happen in our lives that shake us to our core. It can be terribly difficult to heal from these situations and painfully trying to find the motivation to keep moving on. I have NEVER been the type of person that allows for anything or anyone to keep me down for long because we only have one life to live and must live it to the fullest. Even after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 19, I wouldn’t allow for that to take control and or run my life, so why would I start now?

In recent times something else has happened to me that was not only a complete and total shock, but also incredibly inappropriate. I was let go from my job for the most everything-will-be-okay-just-not-today.jpgabsurd reasons I have ever heard.. My husband and I relocated to a brand new city where I started this new job that I was super excited about. During the course of my employment, even after asking several times I had NO training. The complete lack of training was at no fault of my own, but due to no one knowing the answers to the numerous questions I asked. How wrong does that sound!? It seems like the people I was working for expected me to be psychic, which unfortunately I am not! Any loss is hard to accept, but not understanding what went wrong makes it even harder. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I did my job to the best of my ability and didn’t deserve for this to happen to me. Anyone that really knows me, knows that I work hard and am good at whatever I set my mind to.

In my rational mindset and heart I know everything happens for a reason, but that feeling lost todaydoesn’t make this any easier to accept. Losing a job has made me feel worthless and like a failure, which logically I know probably isn’t true. Even when I felt terrible, I still went to work. Even living with a chronic illness that brings on many issues, I still work and work hard! The hard truth for me to swallow is people can be so FAKE and more often than not the people who seem kind and caring are the direct opposite. I don’t possess the ability to be anything but who I am and that is NEVER fake! Personally, I am always going to just be who I am, which is a compassionate person to a fault. I am and probably always will be the person that cares more about others needs than my own.

How do you find motivation when your world has been turned upside down? A job dont-get-closure-until-you-move-on.jpgdoesn’t define who I am as a person, but it does make me feel productive instead of the one sulking around the house without any direction. I am a very strong person and I will bounce back to the positive person I was, it might just take time. I honestly think this situation would be easier to accept if there were valid reasons for this my termination, but there AREN’T ANY valid reasons! Many people have already told me this is their loss and not mine because I deserve so much better, maybe once my mind has healed from this I will see it that way as well.

I don’t mean to share a post that is pretty negative, but honestly sometimes writing out my feelings helps for me to heal. Many of y’all, that have been following my blog for a while now, knew something was wrong way shake off everythingbefore I admitted it and I appreciate all the kind and encouraging words you have sent my way. It has only been 4 days, which feels more like 4 weeks, since losing my job and unemployment doesn’t suite me well.

I am trying to take time to heal from this horrible event and focus on things that bring me joy again. There were so many things I wasn’t able to do working full-time, so maybe now is my chance to do more with my life. Y’all know that I had dreams of writing a book that I even already have an outline for. Maybe I can use this time, in between a job search, toHow-to-Stay-Motivated-When-Searching-For-a-Job-1024x512 at least start the book of my dreams. One thing I can say with 100% certainty is, I can not and will not allow what I have gone through to send me into a terrible relapse. you can heal

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for stopping by my site today and I do hope y’all have a fabulous weekend! For those of you living out west where I know it is insanely cold, I hope you are able to keep warm and the temperatures improve very soon. I do look forward to reading your comments and promise I will respond much faster than I have been in the past few month. Even though I might be going through a difficult and painful time right now, please know that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Crazy decisions and side effects!

side effectsI have always thought it was a little crazy and extremely frustrating that medications meant to slow the progression of illnesses down, are accompanied by a long list of possible side effects. I know that the Gilenya I take daily is supposed to slow the progression of my Multiple Sclerosis, but it has a really LONG list of potential side effects and at one point that was what pushed me to want to make a change in my treatment plan.

The middle of last year I was having so many issues with terrible sinus headaches and migraines that I wanted to find out what was causing them. After reviewing what side images (2)effects Gilenya posed, I saw somethings that were common was headaches and sinus troubles. I was not just looking the side effects up on Google, but I was on Gilenya’s actual website, so I took this very serious as I am sure most people would. I went to my doctor with these concerns and she pretty much dismissed my thoughts claiming that it was not all that common with this medication and that I shouldn’t be doing this kind of research because it was “false” information. I argued back asking how it could be false when it was on the manufactures real website!? Of course I was frustrated that my valid concerns regarding my health was being ignored and not even willing to discuss more at that oral_therapy02time, so I decided to ignore her medical advice and demanded that I try a new medication immediately. It wasn’t until I told her there was another oral medication I read about that I thought would be better for me she finally decided it was worth her precious time to have a conversation with me. She tried her darndest to use the fear tactic, which of course wasn’t working well with me and only caused me to question her logic further. I know it sounds crazy, but I was completely convinced that she was receiving kick-backs from the drug company and me not changing medications would continue to be financially beneficial to her.

In preparation to change my treatment plan from Gilenya to Tecfidera I discontinued the Gilenya last July. I was required to be off medication completely for 6 weeks, so all the 51WIQmA-fnL._SL1000_Gilenya I had taken needed be out of my system and allow the Tecfidera to be able get into my system. In early September I started on Tecfidera which again is an oral medication. During this time my MS did not get better, but much worse! I guess MAYBE the doctor was correct when she said Tecfidera wasn’t going to be strong enough for me or maybe I had the nasty relapse because of ALL the stress I was under. I was so worried about the headaches and the fact that Gilenya could have been the cause and then even more concerned that my MS was progressing way too soon in my life. Whatever the cause was the MRI I had in early October was HORRIBLE, landing me right back to the drug I was convinced was causing my headaches!

It still doesn’t seem fair to me that we have to make the decision if we would rather deal Gilenya+Fingolimidewith the side effects of these so-called helpful drugs or be disabled. As difficult as it is to deal with the massive headaches/migraines, I would much rather deal with them rather than lose my normal abilities, like walking without assistance. I still do not think it is right for anyone to have to make a decision like this, but I guess it is what it is!

I have been back on the Gilenya for a little over a year now and I do still deal with sinus trouble and migraines, but at least the MS hasn’t to have progressed. I do think that until there is a cure for MS, which I must believe will happen in my lifetime, I will not be changing medications! Now that my husband and I have completed our move, I am ms-research-2013-6-638searching for a new MS Specialist, who will hopefully be more knowledgeable and have much better bedside manner. I know I have already shared this with y’all, but I am NOT a fan of my previous specialist. As crazy as this may sound, I want a specialist that is an older gentlemen because I have found they are more understanding and considerate. Of course going with an older person, I run the risk of them retiring, like two of my previous specialist did and I absolutely ❤ LOVED❤ them! I am sure that with the determination I have, I will find one that is best for me and my personality. I guess it shouldn’t be as important to have the warm and fuzzy with a doctor as it is for the doctor to be knowledgeable, but I need to feel comfortable with them in order to trust the doctor.

I always appreciate you taking the time to stop by my site today and I always love reading your got-hope1comments! I hope y’all are having a nice weekend and you are feeling as good as you possibly can! I must say having a long weekend is absolutely wonderful and I have been able to rest, but still do things that needed to be done! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of ❤ love, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Pick-Me-Up Thursday!

Happy Friday EveGood morning y’all! I hope your week went well and I am sure you are looking forward to the weekend! Weekends are much better for me now, as I do not have to make the four-hour round trip back to handle things in our townhouse! I am finally able to spend weekends doing things that I want to do, not have to do!

Now that we only have one more day before the weekend arrives, we all need a little pick-me-up to make it through that one day! I hope you enjoy and find the quote I am sharing inspiring! Sometimes the smallest steps we take in life, can make the biggest difference in the big picture.happy-quotes-images-ideas-pics-images-38

I am really looking forward to reading what your thoughts are on this quote. It never fails, all of your comments and thoughts make me incredibly happy❤

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I hope you have a wonderful and I hope you are feeling the best you possibly can! For many of us good days are hard to come by and feeling good is different for all of us, so we must take advantage of the days we actually do feeling well! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

My heart breaks for…

good-morning-tuesday-e1542068365249.jpgGood morning y’all! I hope you are doing well and your week has started off great. There is so much going on in this world that can break anyone’s heart❤. But what is going on here in the states in California is so tragic. 

So many have already lost their homes and their personal possessions that just will never be able to be replaced. As of this moment at least 11 people have lost their lives which is so incredibly sad. Y’all already know this about me, I love ❤ animals and I am sure many of them have not only lost their homes, but their lives as well. This is a tragedy here on myernesthemingway1.jpg own home soil and I wish there was something I could do for those going through this horrible event. 

I don’t believe enough is being done for those fighting for their lives in California. I don’t appreciate what is being said about it being the fault of the government in California. They were doing the best they could and this massive fire wasn’t able to be avoided ,as fires are a life of their own. I maxresdefaultthink the best thing we can all do at this point is to send as many prayers and positive vibes to all those in the path of this fire. Everyone in California deserves LOTS of love❤ and compassion right now. 

Thank y’all for visiting my site this morning. I hope if you live in California, you are somewhere where you will be safe. Please know that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Zest for Life, Love & Strength!

Zest for life, love and strengthGood afternoon y’all! I hope you are enjoying your weekend and for those of us living in the states, I hope y’all are enjoying your long weekend! I sincerely hope you are feeling well. I can honestly tell you that I have been doing my best to not do much of anything and just enjoy my three days away from living on a schedule.

I think it is safe to say that we all go through difficult times over the course of our life. We will question anything and everything about what we are going through and the life we are living, only to not get any real true answers. I might be wrong, but I do believe that life was never meant to be easy. Even if we do not notice it, we learn and gain so much strength and knowledge with the challenging time we all face.Sunrise - Carolina Beach

I guess I feel that with all we deal with every single day of our life it can be pretty challenging. However we still must find the ability to enjoy the life we were given, love ourselves and those important to us and of course remember the strength we carry within ourselves as it is extremely powerful!

Even when life throws numerous curve balls at us, daily or even hourly, we still manage to do our best to bounce back from every hit. Some of the hits might be a little more intense than another, but that still doesn’t stop us! Each of us is full of love and determination, which enables us to keep up our fight for a pleasant life.

9c567cf19e3e6a689483b44f7f2ac52f--my-style-so-trueIt is crazy to think that every struggle makes us stronger because some of us have been to hell and back again so many times that we lost count, but still we may feel weak at times. I know over the 18 years I have lived with Multiple Sclerosis, there have been days I have felt like I was being punished for who know what. However, even with every horrible situation I have been through with this illness, I have never allowed Multiple Sclerosis to ruin my life and defeat me ever!

Do you ever wonder how you find the strength to get up every morning when you do not know how what do expect? Many chronic quote17-04illnesses are very unpredictable. This can mean that every day is different from another or even being a little more real, every hour of the day can different. This comes down to always being prepared for the unexpected and just keep moving forward without hesitation. This is not easy for anyone and yet that is what all of us do!

I do believe that we all have a “Zest for life, love and strength” because most days we all have the enthusiasm and energy to do it all and much more! There might be days we feel so exhausted from pain, which honestly can make us feel helpless, but just the fact that we have not given up shows our true inner strength. I think even in our weakest moments we still have a determined power that keeps us on track with our goals for life.  Is there zest for lifeanyone that is part of your life deal with what you do daily? I without a doubt can so ABSOLUTELY NOT! I would gladly change places with anyone when I hear what their very minor complaints are! The truth is, we all handle our struggles differently and for those that have been lucky enough to  have never had to endure what all of us do, they just do not understand and we can’t force them to comprehend!

Thank y’all for taking the time to visit my site today! I hope you enjoyed what I have written about today and really look forward to your comments, which I will respond to just as quickly as I can! I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday and if this is a three-day weekend for you, I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤