Perception and Assumptions

I hope you were able to enjoy the long weekend and you remained safe! Beginning the week, a day behind always confuses me for some reason. Over the long weekend, I woke up one day thinking I was supposed to be getting up for work because the clock showed 6:30. I am so glad I figured out it was the weekend, and I did not get up to start getting ready. Even though it was a long weekend, I did not sleep in late on any of the days, and think I even got less sleep than I get during the normal workweek. How crazy and frustrating is that😊?

I have always found people’s personalities to be interesting and frustrating. Differences are normally great because if we were all the same, the world would be an incredibly boring place😊. The frustrating part is when perceptions are misconstrued and distorted. This tends to happen when someone does not understand your words or takes it other than the way you intended and does not ask for clarification, or they make assumptions.

Do you remember a game that was played in elementary school when the first person in line says something, like a word or phrase to the next person, and it continues to the last person? By the time the word or phrase gets to the last person, it is often vastly different. It seems this is something common with normal conversation. This might have been fun to play in school, but it causes many problems in adult life. The assumptions people make are ridiculous and not normally the reality of the conversation. 

In my mind, I am open and honest when talking to everyone. It is upsetting when you hear that something negative was said about your personality and demeanor, especially when it does not make sense. Gossip and backstabbing are common in high school, but not in adulthood or at least it should not be. Unfortunately, so many people are caught up in their lives, and how they are perceived and want to pretend they never do anything that is not upstanding and or kind. It appears to be common for many people to refuse to admit when they are wrong and will fight tooth and nail to prove their point, which is over invalid.

The bottom line is our words are hurtful and they cannot be erased or forgotten. It is crucial that we use our words wisely and with kindness, but also be understanding and considerate. We need to never forget that everything we say to another person will be how we are remembered for years to come and know that life is not promised and can end anytime.

How do you handle situations when your feelings get hurt? What do you do when there are misunderstandings constantly? It is not a good feeling when you feel like you are walking on eggshells when talking to certain people! 

Thank you for visiting my site today. I look forward to reading your comments and the ways you handle certain situations. I hope you have a great and stress-free day! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Gun Violence & Mental Health

Unfortunately, there are so many tragedies happening in the United States, that many people have become desensitized. Sadly, in the five months of 2022, there have already been 213 mass shootings. As a result of the incredibly high number of mass shootings, 17,000 people, and 650 of this number were innocent children had their lives cut short. For an incident to be considered a mass shooting, four or more people are shot, injured, or killed, but these are typically a larger number of people.

On Tuesday, May 24th, a mass shooting took place at an elementary school in Texas. Nineteen innocent children and two adult teachers were killed. Tuesday was marked the deadliest school shooting in Texas history. According to reports from CNN, the gunman performed this heinous act alone. Before the 18-year-old high school dropout went to the elementary school, he shot his grandmother, allegedly texted a 15-year-old girl in Germany about his plans for the elementary school, and then took his grandmother’s truck to head to the school to carry out his deranged plans.

Gun violence is not something new in the United States but has been a problem for decades. In 1987, after a British gunman killed 16 people, the country banned semiautomatic weapons, which was the weapon that was used. After a school shooting in 1996, the country proceeded in the same manner and banned most handguns. At this time and after several bans, the country has one of the lowest gun-related deaths in the developed world.

Australia acted with gun-related violence and deaths after a massacre in 1996. The country prompted a mandatory gun buyback. It has been estimated as many as one million firearms were melted down making them useless and not deadly. The occurrence of mass shootings has decreased from once every 18 months to once every 26 years.

Our Canadian neighbors have also taken action against gun violence. Following a mass shooting 33 years ago in 1989, Canada tightened their gun laws. Other countries such as Germany in 2002, New Zealand in 2019, and Norway last year also tightened their gun laws.

With the levels of gun violence and innocent lives lost in the United States, something needs to change. Too many are caught up in their 2nd amendment right to see the bigger and more critical issues. Everyone wants their right to bear arms upheld, but what about the innocent people who lost their life’s right to a safe life?

I do realize that mental health in the United States is neglected, but something can be done about gun laws. We can hardly watch the news without hearing about shooting somewhere. There are innocent lives lost and families affected daily. Mental health and gun laws need to be narrowed and changed immediately. In the United States, we must worry about children going to school, going to the grocery store, movie theater, or anywhere outside the safety of our homes! Are we going to wait to fight for change until it hits close to home and someone we love is killed by a mentally unstable gunman?

It has taken me several days to be able to put this post out because it is extremely emotional. I could not read through the different news reports about this because it kept bring tears to my eye. I cannot imagine what the families that lost children and loved ones are going through. There is no logical reason for the recent issues that took place in Texas, and most are left to ask, was this man mentally ill? If this 18-year-old had gotten the help needed, would the 21 people killed still be alive? The 18-year-old gun man’s family was in shock he would shoot the grandmother he loved in the face or kill 19 innocent children and 2 teachers. The information I found was based on CNN who spoke to the mother of the disturbed 18-year-old.

Regardless of anyone’s views on what should happen with gun control, we can all probably agree that the mental health of everyone needs to be addressed. Many people feel ashamed of any mental instabilities they may have and will cause them to avoid getting the help needed out of fear of rejection and negative judgments. No one in this world is perfect and sometimes we may need help. Please if you know anyone that is struggling, help them find a professional that can help them get adequate help. I understand how difficult it can be to admit needing help, but the following website offers different types of help https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know how hard it is to read what I shared, but it is important to know what is going on in the country. Yes, it is depressing and tragic, but there is help. Even if we know someone that is struggling, we can try listening to the person, but when it is more urgent than anything you can do and it is too crucial to wait, you can call 911. Feel free to leave comments and I will respond as soon as I am able to. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Finally, Happy Friday!

Finally, it is time to say happy Friday! This has been a long week, but towards the end, well yesterday, I decided to not allow things to bother me that does not matter in the bigger picture. Work has been unique and slightly frustrating, but it is work and I think that is par for the course. Seriously, if work was fun and always a joy everyone would have a job, which is not the reality. Everyone has their priorities, and they are different for everyone. Most things are not life-altering and should not be thought of as life-ending, just stay focused and optimistic.

I know I say this every Friday, but today is a perfect day to let go of the negative feelings that the week inflicted on us. Our weekends are so short, and we do not want to carry those feelings into our weekends because we want to enjoy our weekends as much as we can. I hope the quote I am sharing will help you let go of any negative emotions and you can be carefree for the weekend.

I have been looking forward to the weekend since Monday, so I am more than ready to not think about work and relax for the next two days. I do not have anything exciting planned for my weekend and hope to sleep in past 6:45 AM, which I almost doubt will happen. Between my cats and my internal alarm clock, I am sure I will be awake no later than 6:55 AM, but at least I do not have to clock in to work and deal with that insanity.

Thank you for visiting my site today. Hopefully you had a good week and your weekend is full of relaxation and joy. I hope you have enjoyed what I have shared today and I look forward to reading your comments. I will respond to all your amazing comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Bad day and shattered dreams

Today is our halfway point through the week, which is a good thing. Yesterday my day started early again, at 7:25 AM and I worked until 6:00 PM. My view of the day was negative from the start, and it might have been because I was sleep deprived. We were offered overtime at work, which I am always quick to say “yes” to. Honestly, I was a little discouraged at work because many times when I ask a question, I feel ignored because I do not get any answers. I have been dealing with a few challenging customers at work, which I can normally handle, but one was over the top difficult. I guess what made these customers extra challenging is because I had NO help!

After I finally decided to let go of my work frustrations, I saw an email regarding the ONE thing I have been looking forward to, meeting James Patterson. Sadly☹, the book signing and meeting with James Patterson is sold out. This was one of my dreams, to meet my favorite author and hopefully get a picture with him☹. This was the tip of the ice burg for me today, and I could not help but burst into tears. It is not like James Patterson goes on tour frequently, so this was a once in a lifetime event for me.

Of course, I am glad we are closer to Friday, but now not only do I feel discouraged but have nothing to look forward to. We often look forward to weekends or vacations, but I have not been anywhere fun and or exciting in years. The past few times we left town, the trip was miserable and a waste of time. The reasons for this are also upsetting and an enormous letdown. Life is aggravating enough living in pain 24 hours a day, so what has transpired in the past day was the icing on the cake of disappointments.

Thank you for visiting my site today and I am sorry it was not very positive. Life is hardly ever perfect, but we must have ways to release negative emotions. I know many people will not understand why missing out on meeting an author was so devastating to me, but we all have things that are meaningful to us that no one understands. I guess this is something that makes us unique. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Defeat Tuesday

The weeks can feel extremely long and strenuous. We typically prepare ourselves for Monday on Sunday evening because we understand they can be very demanding. Honestly, not every Monday is as bad as we think it is going to be and some are worst than we were expecting. Whether it be Monday or any other day of the week, sometimes there is no amount of preparation that can help us be ready for the days ahead of us. No matter what happens, we should never give up and should always try to see the positive in all situations. I believe a positive mindset will keep us healthier and happier rather than being negative.

Yesterday felt like a train wreck and I believe it had a lot to do with getting too little sleep. I knew it was going to be a rough day because if I had to guess, I might have slept for four hours. By the time we ate dinner, finally got my work monitors set up correctly, and cleaned up, it was close to 2:00 AM and I normally get up a little before 7:00 AM. Knowing I would be exhausted, I tried giving myself a few extra minutes of sleep and pushed the alarm back to 7:30. I still felt foggy, irritable, achy, and distracted all day, which made for a long day.

Besides being overly tired and achy all day yesterday, I was dealing with other frustrations. No matter how many times in our life we deal with challenging and frustrating times, it never gets any easier. While life was never meant to be perfect and easy, we must NEVER let go of trying to think positively and NEVER give up. We were all dealt a hand of cards when we were born, and we are forced to keep playing the game of life and not fold. It is so easy to feel like we cannot handle life anymore and give in to those awful negative thoughts. The only thing a negative mind will do is make everything worst.

I am not going to tell y’all that remaining positive during challenging times is easy because that would be a lie. The only thing negativity will do is make you feel empty. The life we were given is a gift and viewing everything as negative makes us take our life for granted, which tends to be selfish. There are so many people every day that lose their life and through NO fault of their own and they would all love another day to enjoy their life.

Thankfully, we have survived Monday and hopefully, every other day of this week will get easier. I understand more than I care to admit how unfair life can be, but through all the unfair things we have endured, we are stronger than we realize. We all have a strength inside that is powerful. When you start thinking you cannot deal with anymore, remember what you have already accomplished in life and hold your head high!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope what I have shared was beneficial for you and you are feeling better about life the way it currently is. Understanding what we have control over and what we have no control over, is a valuable lesson to learn because it will make things easier. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

What do you do?

What do you do when you get frustrated or upset? Do you think it helps to ignore those feelings, yell about them, throw things, or break down into tears? It is painfully easy to get frustrated during life and even get a little mad about them. This can happen at home, at work, or when you go out to the grocery store or anywhere else. I do not think it matters where you live, driving can be irritating because so many people are paying more attention to their phones than the road.

Something I have always known about myself is when I get frustrated or upset, I will cry before I yell. I cannot explain why besides saying I do not see a point or like to raise my voice, but I do know crying does not help either. Yesterday when I was at work, I allowed myself to get so frustrated that when finally, I walked away from the computer to clear my head, I not only fussed at my poor cat, and broke down into tears. It was not because I had done something wrong and was in trouble, it was because I had several questions and was not getting answers. It is not like when I ask a question, I expect an immediate response but would like a logical explanation in a reasonable time.

After I had my emotional breakdown, I ended up talking to a few people about the issues I was having. I found out that I am not the only one at my company that will cry instead of scream when they get frustrated. There was only one person that eased my mind and made me smile 😊 because she reminded me, that we are not doing anything extremely important, such as saving world hunger or finding cures for illnesses, and we are not discovering a way to have world peace. She might have added in some explicit language that I found hilarious. I just needed to hear this because it kept things in perspective and helped me to see some things are just not that important and certainly not worth my mental health.

Once I had time to deal with my emotions and let go of the frustrations I was experiencing, I learned one of the problems I was having was a system issue and I was doing things correctly. Of course, this may have made things a little more irritating, but I was glad to know that it was not anything I was doing. The truth is, I allowed myself to get so upset and frustrated, I was not going to do a post today, but was not going to let my day ruin something I love doing.

Unfortunately, life is full of frustrating times, and we need to learn better ways to cope. No matter what we do for a living or who we talk to, it is impossible to make everyone happy. We live in a world where so many people enjoy complaining and putting others down, which is extremely hard to accept. However, knowing this fact should be able to help us keep every situation in perspective and not allow for it to cause us unnecessary stress and despair. This is something I need to work on and try harder with.

I would like to thank you for visiting my site today and reading what I have shared. I always appreciate your time and enjoy reading your comments. It will not be immediately, but I will respond to your comments as quickly as I can. I hope you are having a good week and you are looking forward to the upcoming weekend. I know I cannot wait until the weekend so I can relax and recuperate from this past week. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

End of the week Rant!

Life is not always fair, and we feel like we need to pretend everything is fine and normal. Does anyone even know what normal is anymore? I do not think I know what normal is anymore because we have lived through so much that is anything but normal. Why do we feel forced to act like they are not angry, frustrated, and or in pain? It is not easy to understand that it is NOT complaining when we share how we are feeling on the inside because keeping things bottled up will never end healthily.

It is not easy to realize that it is okay to not be okay. We do not need to put on fake smiles and should feel comfortable expressing our emotions. We are often smiling on the outside but crying on the inside while we process how we are feeling. I have learned how damaging bottling up feelings can be but failed to stop this bad habit. Most of the time I think I care too much and while that is not a bad thing, it can be exhausting and even frustrating.

Logically, I know how awful stress can be and have not learned to not worry about everything and everyone. When I get overly stressed or upset about things, instead of addressing what is wrong I try avoiding it at all costs. I also either have no appetite or want to eat the most fatting foods possible, none of which are a good decision.

Yesterday I was extremely frustrated with several things and did not want to eat anything. I will not get into everything that was troubling me because the list is rather long. Not eating is an awful idea because then I get nasty headaches and even more dizzy spells. There was only one thing that helped slightly, and that was turning the music up loud to a song that was exactly how I was feeling! For a few minutes as the song played, my mind was at ease, and I felt much calmer.

I guess I decided to write about all this to help anyone else that might be feeling the same way. There are times in our lives when all we want to do is scream at the top of our lungs just to vent our frustrations. Unfortunately, some people when they are at the end of their ropes with aggravation let their feelings out in unhealthy and possibly violent ways, but there are better ways. There will never be anything positive that can come from violence because that will only create many more issues.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading my rant of frustrations. I do not mean to sound so negative, but yesterday was an awful day. I hope your week went well and you are looking forward to the weekend. I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Few days left of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month

There are only a few days left of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. March will be coming to an end, but unfortunately, those living with this illness still must endure the issues involved. There are always so many questions that come to my mind and none of them have any answers. Do I wish this illness had a cure? I would be lying if I said no because I wish with everything in me there will be a cure someday soon. Is this illness frustrating? Again, I would be lying if I said no because it is one of the most frustrating things in my life. Is there anything I can do to change things now? Of course, the only thing I can do is stay positive and take care of myself the best that I can.

There are many reasons Multiple Sclerosis is incredibly frustrating one is that I feel like I do not have control of it. Yes, I might have minor control issues. I like things to go according to a plan that makes sense and is clear. I hate not being able to control my body because of an illness that does not have a cure, yet. I do not understand why there has been so much research done and the only thing that changes is the medications being pushed out by the pharmaceutical companies. I know that many people in these pharmaceutical companies care more about themselves and their bank accounts than those living with this illness.

Another reason Multiple Sclerosis is extremely frustrating is that I must live in pain every minute of every day and that is exhausting! I woke up this morning with my back in so much pain it hurt more to lay in bed than get up but still was painful trying to move. Last night, I felt a migraine working its way into my head. The only thing I could do was go to bed and hope it would be gone in the morning. Unfortunately, the head pain was not gone, but it was slightly more manageable. Pain is awful to live with, but migraines are the absolute worst because it often feels like there is a sledgehammer pounding on my head!

Overall, I do loathe Multiple Sclerosis, but I know it could be much worse than it is. I guess there is a small part of me that is thankful for the type I live with. I do not and never will know what caused me to have this condition, but I feel like there must be a reason. When there are no explanations for things, I find it immensely irritating, and it makes me slightly angry. Considering I have always believed there is a reason for everything that happens in our life, I feel there must be a reason I have Multiple Sclerosis.

No matter how frustrating Multiple Sclerosis can be and how many times a day I want to give up, I made a promise all those years ago when I was diagnosed to my late grandfather that I never would surrender and would continue to fight. Sadly, I know there may come a day when I am unable to fight any longer, but that day will not come for many more years. I am far too determined to let anything, especially an illness control my life.

Thank you for visiting my site this afternoon. I hope you are having a lovely and relaxing day! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. The weekend will be coming to an end soon, so enjoy what is left of it safely! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Frustrations of living with Multiple Sclerosis

Living with Multiple Sclerosis has been challenging and frustrating at times. Yes, the disease itself is painful, but many do not understand the symptoms and how they affect daily life. If someone does not have the disease, they are not able to fully comprehend what it is like to deal with the symptoms. Even those that are closest to me and see me daily but do not suffer with the consequences of the disease have a difficult time knowing what it is like to manage. Many people I meet would not even know that I have Multiple Sclerosis because I look perfectly normal, but underneath the mask I wear is a battle with my own body. 

When your body manages to attack itself and you have no control over the symptoms, it can be challenging to explain to others that do not understand because they do not have to endure the difficulties. It is not easy when you have no control of how your body reacts to the pressures in life or even to just being awake. I have said to some that they would not understand unless they could live in my body for one day, but most could not handle it well at all.

One extremely frustrating symptom is the constant feeling of fatigue. It does not matter what time I go to bed or how much sleep I get (which is normally NEVER enough), the fatigue issue consumes my life. I can say that it does get worse as the day progresses and by about 1:00 PM I need a nap, so by the time my husband is ready to have dinner and watch a TV show I am spent and exhausted. I have explained this to him numerous times, but it does not register to him, and he continues to want to have dinner and watch TV or a movie later at night. I guess I can understand this because he does work nights, but I still think there needs to be some compromise and meeting in the middle.

Another frustrating symptom is the never-ending pain. Being in pain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with hardly any relief is not easy. I try to ignore the pain, but there are times when it is extreme and overbearing, and I am unable to ignore it. Pushing through the pain when it is at the worse and it is hard to stand, or move is immensely demanding. Heck getting out of bed when I know what the day holds, is aggravating and irritating. It is not that staying in bed would help much because just lying in the bed, I still hurt! 

The issue with neuropathy is also a challenge. The feeling of pins and needles or spiders crawling around on my legs and feet is hard, especially because NOTHING helps. I am already maxed out on the medication that is “supposed” to help so how can I have hope for relief, when the medication that should help the neuropathy is not helping? I know it is best to believe things will improve, but it has been many years of this, and it is not coming to an end.

Thankfully, even though I do experience dizziness frequently, I have learned how to cope with it. I have learned that when I do get a dizzy spell, if I focus on a still object, it will help to get the dizziness under some control. However, when it happens when I am driving, it can be a little terrifying, but then I will focus on the lines on the road and manage to stay in between the lines.

I am sure there are other symptoms are not easy to handle, but the one I want to mention is the headaches/migraines. Out of all the other types of pain I endure, this is probably the worst and the only one that will have me in the bed for hours or at least until it gets better. Most pain is something we can learn to deal with, but headaches/migraines I have not been able to learn to deal with and I have been experiencing these since I was a child. I guess when the pain is concentrated on the head, it starts to affect the way we think and communicate.

I know that stress is my biggest enemy and not a friend to the Multiple Sclerosis. The only thing that stress does is make any symptoms with MS more intense. Right now, I am trying to get my medication that helps keep the MS at bay but going through the process and jumping through all their hoops is stressful. This is a medication that without the Gilenya Go Program would cost about $8,000 per month and that is not something any normal person can afford. Unfortunately, I only have enough medication to get me through until Saturday and then I am out. This medication has done well keeping the MS under control and being off of it will only cause me stress.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you found this post helpful with understanding the frustrations of living with an uncurable disease. This post was meant to be a quick overview of the complications of living with Multiple Sclerosis. I would love the change to read your comments and will respond to all of them as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Feeling Pessimistic

Happy Friday y’all! How has your week been? Do you have any plans for the weekend? I had planned to start a new job on March 14th but learned yesterday I will have to wait until March 21st. I am not going to lie, I was a little disappointed because I have been unemployed since being laid off on December 9th and miss working. WOW, those are words I never thought I would say, but I do enjoy working and having an income. This disappointment kind of falls in line with how life has been lately, but I will explain why I say that shortly.

Anyone that knows me would say that I am not an angry person, but the way things have been in the past few years has made me angry and frustrated. I hate the way things are in the country I live in and the world we all live in. My anger stems from the incredible amount of hate that has ravished the world and I do not understand why it has become so awful. I cannot understand why people have become so selfish and evil. Even though I have become angrier and more frustrated than I have ever wanted to be, I am still kind and empathetic to other’s struggles. I guess you could say it is a blessing and a curse, but it is something I have no control over.

The heinous issues going on in Ukraine are terrible and heartbreaking. Previously, I worked with two sweet ladies that were from Ukraine. I cannot imagine how they must be feeling worrying about their families. A neighboring country should NEVER torment its neighboring country just because one country wants to control the other. Two countries that share a border, should want to work together, and help one another, NOT destroy the other.

Last week, my husband and I went on our last snowboard trip for the season. Unfortunately, it was not the best trip we have ever been on because anything that could go wrong, did go wrong. The trip started terribly before we made it even an hour from our home. There was a point, I was ready to turn the truck around and head home because things were that unpleasant. I knew it was the last trip of the season, so we went on to the mountains. After a few days, of being in the mountains, my mood had become so negative I was ready to be home. The state we were in do not think the vaccine is a good idea or needed and I ended up getting into a heated debate with someone about it. I guess no matter how nice you are to someone and how logical you are, you cannot change people.

Another reason for my frustration and anger is that my pain levels have been incredibly high. Between the back and leg pain, and neuropathy issues it is hard to move around comfortably. Thankfully, I do not enjoy snowboarding as much as my husband does because the neuropathy issues made it almost impossible. The cold weather always increases my pain, so between stress and cold, I have been in excruciating pain for days. I cannot think of anyone who was dealing with the pain I have been would be overly optimistic.

The truth is that the reasons for my anger cannot be changed until the world changes. I do not enjoy being an angry person and I am trying to see the bright side, but it is getting harder. Always trying to see the good in people is a good thing but can also be painful and challenging for the mind. Even though I have been on the wrong side many times and people have betrayed my trust, I will continue to try to see the good in people. Yes, sometimes are easier than others, but there are still those few and far between times the good we see is beneficial and helps me to be the bigger person.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this post was not very positive, but unfortunately, the way I feel is not positive currently. I know things will get better and my mood will change for the better. I do hope your week was great and you have a safe weekend. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa