Tuesday Requires More Energy

Only Tuesday & It Has Already Been A Painful Week Emotionally!

How is it only Tuesday? It feels like it should at least be Thursday! Many things have occurred already for me that have been both physically and mentally painful. Stress always causes additional pain, but this is ridiculous. Of course, weather can also increase my physical pain and Mother Nature can’t decide if she wants to rain or be sunny, so it has been both within minutes of each other.

I have always been the type of person that thinks of everyone and anyone else long before myself. I will not lie to you and say I am trying to fix that about me because I am not. I am trying to eliminate stress as much as I can, but that is extremely challenging for me. Sometimes it seems like stress comes in several different storms and on many different levels of severity. I am not naive enough to think I can fix other people’s issues, but I cannot help trying to alleviate some of other people’s pain and heartache. Truthfully, it does not work and I know that will never change.

With all that said there is a beautiful quote I thought would be good to share with y’all. This might help y’all if you are having a difficult or frustrating week. Or it might just make you think about someone else that might need a little support and love from someone that cares! Sometimes while it is necessary to spread the love to others, it is also important to show yourself a little love as well! I would love to read your thoughts on this quote, please!

Thank you for taking the time to stop by my site today and read what I have wrote. I hope the quote I have shared with y’all will have some meaning to you and prove you with positive feelings. I hope your week is going well so far and truly hope you are continuing to stay safe. I hope you will never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Pros & Cons to working from home

Let’s Talk About Our New Norms

In the wake of the pandemic, many companies are not requiring their employees to work in the office but instead allowing them to work from home. The truth is many positions could have been working from home long before now. Companies could have saved themselves a lot of money by not paying rental payments or leases on buildings, the utilities required, or any other expenses. Technology in 2020 has come as far allowing for any and everything to be done online. Meetings and training can be done through Skype for business, Zoom, GoToMeeting, and countless other programs.

Working from home and setting up a home office comes with many benefits, but also several challenges. Do y’all have a home office since COVID-19 has spread massively and relentlessly around the world? If you have, what have been the benefits and challenges you have experienced?

The benefits of being able to work from home might be rather obvious, but I will explain a few I have found. One of the greatest and most crystal-clear benefits is safety from a deadly virus. Considering I have a weak immune system because of the medication I take for Multiple Sclerosis, it is a blessing to work from home. I try my best to keep my distance from people outside of my home and now days hardly leave my house. This virus scares the hell out of me because it has already killed so many people and could, unfortunately, kill me as well and I can’t do that to my family.

Another benefit working from home provides me is the ability to always wear comfortable and non-dressy clothes. This might sound like a silly benefit, but it can be incredibly helpful when dealing with the massive pain I deal with on a daily basis. Just by having the choice to never wear those uncomfortable, but cute high heel shoes or the pretty but extremely confining dresses or pants, it is priceless. Simply being able to get out of the shower and not have to mess with drying my hair or trying to get it looking nice is a time saver! Then just throwing on a t-shirt and comfy pants are amazing. Of course, I do still continue putting my makeup on because it makes me feel much more confident, even though no one but me sees it.

An additional benefit to working from home is never dealing with the insane and chaotic traffic in the mornings on my way into work or the evenings on the way home. With the ridiculous amounts of crazed drivers always in a rush to get where they think they must go, seldom paying attention to anything but the phone by their side, and seeing the numerous accidents along the way was terrifying. I always dreaded my drives and now to get to work is a simple walk downstairs to where my home office is set up!

In a crazy way, it is always a benefit and also a disadvantage to not have to be around co-workers. We have all dealt with those co-workers that enjoyed office drama and gossip. Trying to remain polite to others while avoiding the drama was always so exhausting. It is rather nice to never be forced to worry about the latest drama or gossip the runs through most offices. I do not need to worry about who I should avoid and or who can or can’t be trusted. I enjoy being able to focus completely on the work that I need to do during my workday without interruptions from co-workers wanting to talk nonsense. Even with all that said, I do still miss having a co-worker close by to ask questions or run issues by, but I guess that is what email is for.

Even though there are many benefits to working from the comfort and safety of my own home, there are some challenges involved as well. To be honest, it does not matter how many challenges I might face working from home, the benefits will always outweigh any and all obstacles.

Although I did work for a mortgage company for almost three years in the past, it has been a few years since I worked in the industry. The company I am with now is a lot different and so are my job duties. My previous mortgage company, like any other, had its good and bad parts. I did and still do have a great amount of respect for my former manager. I am not going to talk negatively about my previous mortgage company because I did learn a lot, so overall it was a good experience. The negative aspects of that company are the same as most companies, there are many immature people that are in positions they do not have the knowledge or business being in.

One of the challenges I have found working from home is the virtual/online training and guidance. Like I just explained, I worked for a mortgage company previously and even though that company had its own challenges, I did receive adequate in-person training. The training, guidance, and direction provided me with the confidence that enabled me to do my job almost like second nature. Learning a new job with many new responsibilities virtually has been slightly difficult. There are a few people I can email or instant message with any questions I have, but this causes me a lack of confidence in the knowledge I have and or even my skills. I think not having someone to give me feedback on what I am doing well with or what and how I can improve on is frustrating. When you work for a company and go to an office, there is normally a handbook on processes, but working from home there has not been such a thing.

Another challenge I have encountered while working from home is having the silence needed for focusing. My husband also works from home, but he works nights and we do share the same home office area. There are some hours after his shift ends he needs to unwind, which I can understand and support. The only issue is he will watch new segments online causing an annoying distraction for me. I know it is important to know what is going on in the world, but I have had more than enough of the political lies and prefer to not listen to anything that comes from the president’s mouth. I also can’t take any more about Epstein or his girlfriend/partner in crime Maxwell. Everything that Epstein and Maxwell did cause me to feel sad, angry, and massive amounts of emotional pain.

I never in a million years thought I would ever think this, but something else that is a little challenging for me is, not know any of my co-workers. Of course, I managed to get to know a couple of my co-workers through email and phone calls, but I have never met any of them in person. I have been with my company for one month now and I still do not even know everyone’s name on the team I work with. It is unusual for me to not know at least something about everyone I work with. I have always been friendly and accepting of others and now it is just me alone. I guess in a way, working from home can be a little lonely.

Now that I have gone through the benefits and challenges I have found about working from home, I would love to hear your feedback. I know not everyone is able to do their job from home, but many have been granted this access. Do any of you that work from home have benefits and challenges you have found? How have you dealt with the challenges?

Thank you for visiting my site today. It has been a little while since I have been able to write about a specific topic because I am normally too darn exhausted to do so. This is something that I have missed and plan to do more of. I know y’all deal with being tired and it is hard to leave comments, but I do look forward to reading yours. I promise that I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. I know I say this in every post, but please do everything you possibly can to stay safe from the virus. This virus knows no boundaries and will cause problems for anyone it can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Let It Go Friday!

Let Go Of Your Negative Energy & Enjoy Your Life!

Happy Friday y’all! How was your week? This was my second week at my new job and things are still going very well and I must say that I am working with some pretty great people! It is definitely different being able to work from home. I mean, I do not need to make my hair or makeup look nice and do not even have to wear uncomfortable work clothes. I will be honest with y’all, I do still put makeup on, always let my hair air dry, and wear comfortable loose clothing! I LOVE it!

Now that we have made it to another Friday and the weekend is near, it is time to let go of any negative energy we might be feeling. Negative energy doesn’t need to be work related, maybe you had a disagreement with a friend or family member. Disagreements can happen with anyone, which is one reason it is best not discuss sensitive subjects with family, such as religion and politics! Regardless of what negative feelings you are having, it is best to let them go and not carry them into the weekend with you! Weekends are supposed to be relaxing and happy! I do hope the quote I am sharing today will help you release any unpleasant feelings you are experiencing and you are able to have a wonderful and safe weekend!

Thank you for visiting my site today! I hope you enjoyed the quote that I shared and I do look forward to reading what you thought about it! I hope the last day of the week is a good one for you and you are looking forward to the weekend. Please, whatever you do over the weekend, stay safe by following all safety measures. I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Feelings that have built up

Beware in advance, I want y’all to know this post is the most personal I have written and extremely emotional. It is also rather long, but not as long as at least one another post.

Everyone’s life unfolds in unique and often challenging ways. No matter how things appear on the outside, no one has the “picture perfect” life. Our lives are full of happy times and hard times, which might not be equal. When someone experiences something that is painfully difficult and they somehow overcome those times, others may not know how in the world they overcame such tragic times and they never ask. How many times have we been asked in life if there was anything we would change? I can recall countless times, but my answer will never change. Anything that occurred in life that was hard, I feel that I am strong because of the hardest times in life and therefore would not change anything at all.

How would you respond if I were to ask you, what would you change in your life if you could? Sure, there are probably hard times you might wish you did not encounter. If those hard times never happened, would you still be the person you are today? Maybe you would, but maybe you wouldn’t. I say this because things I went through in life, I don’t know if I would be who I am if those things didn’t happen.

2020 has been a difficult year so far and we do not know when or if things will improve. I want to believe that what the United States has witnessed will open everyone’s eyes to the state of our nation. We have NOT had ANY leadership over the past three and a half years. We have watched what feels like the fall of a country that was supposed to be “strong”, “fair”, and “equal”. The entire world was exposed to COVID-19 and most other countries acted in a way that protected the citizens when the United States acted late which caused hundreds of thousands of people to unnecessary lose their lives. There is no way to know if the government had acted sooner, those lives lost could have been saved, and sadly that is what these individual’s families must live with.

Unfortunately, there are still way too many people that believe the lies the president says and tweets. These are the same people that follow their “leaders” example and fail to wear masks when out in public and seem to not understand what is meant by social distancing. I guess it makes sense because we all saw the president and the crowd on the 4th of July close together possibly spreading the virus to one another and yet somehow magically neither the president nor vice president seems to get the virus. Y’all already know that I am terrified of the virus and I do have a weakened immune system because of the medication I take for Multiple Sclerosis.

I will say that finally, several states have made masks when out in public mandatory. Those that fail to comply with wearing masks will be fined. I hardly leave the house these days but did go to the pharmacy on Friday. They had in huge sign in bold letters saying that all customers entering the store must wear a mask or they will be asked to leave immediately.

It has also been made painfully clear that the United States has enormous problems with racial injustice and police killing unarmed black people. I am not naïve enough or blind to the fact that not all American’s are treated equally and it makes me feel shame for the country.

All my life I have always treated everyone the same and never judged anyone based on anything besides the way they treated others. I appreciate the beauty in the differences others show and find those distinctions fascinating. I think if we were all exactly the same, this world would be rather boring and we would miss out on some incredible opportunities.

We are already more than halfway through 2020. The news has put a lot of focus onto either COVID-19, politics, police brutality or the latest with the Epstein insanity. For starters, the United States knew about COVID-19 on January 20, 2020, but did not act on it until March. That left about a month and a half for the virus to spread throughout the country. How many months did the president say this highly contagious and deadly virus was a hoax or not that serious? The answer is just simply way too many and it should have been taken seriously starting back in January.

I am sure my feelings are pretty clear throughout this entire post. I am ashamed of how the country I was born and raised in has behaved for the past three and a half years and honestly probably many more. It will not come as a shock to anyone, but I am not and never have been a fan of Donald Trump. I think the way he blames everyone else for what has gone wrong in the world, how he disrespects everyone that disagrees with him and the media for doing their job, the revolting names he calls others, the way he refers to other countries “shit holes”, the way he has absolutely has no respect for the country he represents or the people living there, and so much more than just repulsive. This man cares so much about his pole numbers that rapidly dwindling and of course, he is blaming the democrats, when truthfully it is his own fault.

I think y’all know I always try my best to be optimistic and believe that positive thoughts will lead to a positive outcome. I also know how incredibly negative this post might seem, but these feelings have built up for a while now. I want to apologize if anything I have written was offensive to you and hope you know that was never my intent. I am a very sensitive person so hearing about the countless people that are dying daily because of COVID-19 breaks my heart and tend to have me in tears. Of course, I do not know any of the people that lost their lives to this virus, but they meant something to someone else.

I also have never been a political person and found most if not all politicians to be dishonest. Trump and Pence have proven my views of dishonest politicians. It is hard for me to understand how anyone could know about how many people have died because of a virus and how it would not affect them. It will never make sense to me how anyone that represents a country and not care about the people. How they sleep soundly at night is a mystery to me.

Since the news first broke about Jeffrey Epstein in 2005 it has made me sick. I then read a book by one of my favorite authors, James Patterson wrote about Epstein which made my feelings even more intense. After Epstein was arrested I thought that justice had been made for his victims.

Of course, he ended up committing suicide while in prison which could be viewed as a good thing, but it was an easy and selfish way out for him and his victims did not get to testify and feel the closure they may have needed. The latest with the Epstein situation was his long-term confidant and associate a female was arrested. This woman helped find Epstein young girls to become another victim and she also participated. Any woman that is capable of doing this kind of harm to a young and innocent girl is vile and appalling and should feel shame for the ways they ruined the child’s youth.

I do realize this might have not been the most positive thing I have written, but this is how I feel. Again, I am sorry if I have offended anyone reading this and hope I did not discourage you from reading future things I write.

This post was very personal and full of raw emotions. I do appreciate you taking the time to read and I encourage you to leave a comment, which I will respond to as quickly as I can.

Y’all know I am starting my new full-time, work from home job tomorrow and I plan to continue blogging as much as I can. No matter how busy I get I will continue doing Motivational Monday, Pick Me Up Thursday and Let It Go Friday! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Wednesday’s Random Thoughts

My Random Thoughts

Happy Wednesday y’all. I hope you are having a great week, you are feeling well, and of course, you are staying safe. I keep telling myself to stop obsessing about new COVID-19 cases in the city I live in, but yet I continue monitoring the massive increases daily. It doesn’t make any sense why I keep doing this because all it does is upset me and keep me stressed. I do not leave the house most days unless it is necessary and when I do, I always wear my mask inside places like the grocery store. It blows my mind how many people do not wear a mask and hardly ever respect social distancing. I am not sure which irritates me more, the carelessness of not wearing a mask, or the complete lack of awareness for social distancing. I was thrilled to hear the city I live in passed a law requiring people to wear a mask anytime they leave the house and will be fined if they do not. I think this should have happened months ago!

Do y’all ever have days when there is so much on your mind and numerous things you want to do, but then feel overwhelmed and do not do any of the things you wanted to? Or when your mind is consumed with things you want to write about, but then you just end up staring at a blank page for hours or constantly erasing what you just typed or wrote? I tend to have days like this a lot and do not know what to do about it. Do y’all have any advice? I may being feeling this way because I have not worked in several months and therefore I am not on any logical kind of schedule, which drives me crazy.

Life can sometimes feel more like a very long and nerve-wracking rollercoaster ride with many added sharp curves and free falls. The moment we think things are getting easier and it is safe to take a deep breath, we face another painful challenge. Sadly, I honestly feel like too much has taken place over the past four months or so and there doesn’t seem to be relief or improvement anytime soon.

I don’t think it would surprise anyone, but what we have witnessed recently has been heartbreaking and terrifying. The other situations that have made the news are things we have known to be hellacious issues for a long time, these mainly being inequality, racism, and pure hatred. Y’all know that I tend to blame negative things that happen on the president and even though things he says might fuel hate and racism, the issues wouldn’t be fueled if the people didn’t already feel a certain way to start with.

No one on the face of this earth has ever gone through a pandemic like the one we are seeing now with COVID-19. I do not even think anyone has thought of something this awful. COVID-19 has put fear in people around the world. Unlike some people in the world, COVID-19 does not discriminate and has affected people from all walks of life.

Even though I am viewing the world in different ways right now, not everything is horrible and stressful. Of course, the issues with the virus do cause me stress and sadness. I hate knowing some people that get this virus will lose their life and their family will have that pain to deal with. And even though I am a small-town girl that grew up in a state with no diversity and moved to a big city with LOTS of diversity when I was 19, racism will NEVER make sense to me. I have always believed that everyone was equal and deserved our respect. With people, the only thing that matters to me is how they treat others and the color of their skin, who they love, who they worship, or anything else that is different from my views does not matter.

Thank y’all for visiting my site today and reading some of the thoughts that have been racing through my mind for a while now. No pressure at all, but I would love to read your thoughts on this post! I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as possible! I hope you are having a good day so far and it continues to be pleasant. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

What does our world need most??

12 Things Our World Needs Now!

Even though we may be oceans or miles apart, we are all still living under the same bright and beautiful sky. Unfortunately, the world we live in has been anything but peaceful for far too long. Countless numbers of people have been and continue to encounter uncertainty, increased stress, and escalated pain, an absence of hope, and inequality. Currently, our world is suffering and to have successful change we need to be united. No matter where you live, our goals are the same.

The things the world is in dire need of can be accomplished if everyone works together in unity. The great things that may happen will take time, patience, and resilience.

The following are what is urgently required for the good of this world:

1. Action-

There are numerous challenges we are facing and these challenges are not going to resolve on their own. People are constantly complaining about everything that isn’t right, but none of that is doing anything beneficial.

We need REAL action on poverty, climate changes, the mental health crisis, COVID-19, racial inequality, reckless and carelessness with the government, and much more. Without people, communities, politicians, and all nations taking action by joining together, the change that is required won’t ever take place.

2. Unity-

The challenges that have spread throughout the entire world will not be able to correct themselves unless we all JOIN TOGETHER! We do not need to live in the same state or even the same country, but we can help one another in achieving a common goal, PEACE & EQUALITY! Each and every one of us is alike concerning having a heart full of love, kindness, and acceptance. We are also uniquely different with adding our support for the greater good of the world.

3. Tolerance-

There is more division between people both within the same country and others. If we are going to successfully join together we will need to learn how to be tolerant to those we disagree with. There must be less of the terminology of us and them and more we and us. Tolerance means we need to put unnecessary loyalties aside and only have loyalty for human lives.

4. Acceptance-

Of course, we do not have to agree with everyone else all of the time. The opinion of others should be accepted with just as much validity as our own. Beneath the difference of opinions and disagreements, there is another human being that deserves respect and kindness.

5. Understanding-

As human beings, we are all a convoluted mixture of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It is common for those same humans to do things that gets on our nerves and even upsets us, but we need to try understanding the reason they may have done what they did. Unfortunately, many people go through struggles daily, but normally we are unaware of this. Especially with all that is happening in the world today it is important to try offering our understanding to others because chances are we are also experiencing our own challenging times.

6. Compassion-

There are going to be time we may see someone that is enduring a struggle. Although we might not be aware of the cause for their struggles, it is important to show our sincere, genuine, and wholehearted concerns for them. We have all heard this many times before, but a little compassion indeed goes a long way! It is amazing how helpful it can be when we offer someone who is going through struggles a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen and some comforting warm and supportive words.

7. Forgiveness-

Anyone can do things that they will regret later and whatever was done could hurt another. Honestly, forgiveness is not the easiest thing to do, especially in this day and age. When we forgive it doesn’t mean what was done is forgotten or that we are excusing someone else’s actions because that just isn’t true. When we decide to forgive someone, we are moving on and we are not harboring negative feelings towards that person.

Forgiveness is something necessary between the different cultures, nations, and generations. There is already too much anger, disagreements, and resentment that has been widespread, but this is the time the world and everyone in it needs forgiveness that spreads far and to all!

8. Kindness-

Countless people are suffering and daily more are faced with various misfortunes. Kindness is something that will surpass all faiths, ages, backgrounds, languages, and even reach beyond vast distances. It does not matter how big or small, all acts of kindness can make the world a better place in limitless ways. Bottom line is, the entire world is in an extreme need for a lot more kindness!

9. Trust-

Whether this is true or false, many people believe that everyone is out for themselves with little to no thoughts for anyone else. They also view others as being not trustworthy. Trust is the foundation in all human relationships and without it things can and will rapidly fall apart. We should be able to feel confident and comfortable putting our trust in those that are in our lives, but if we are not able to do this we might need to reevaluate who we are allowing into our lives. Trust takes time to earn and it can be lost quickly. Sadly, once trust has been lost it can take a very long time to earn back and even then can be challenging.

10. Hope-

Unfortunately, during recent times hope has gotten lost for many people. Although most people desire for things to be better, they have also lost the ability to have true hope that anything will get better than they are currently. Hope is what can invigorate the action necessary to resolve the many problems we are dealing with today. We need people to demonstrate the meaning and benefits of the power of hope through their actions. Once more people believe again and have the hope that tomorrow will bring better times; it will spread throughout our world!

11. Wisdom-

It does seem that most people have a smartphone, tablet, or they have both and have the answers needed at our fingertips anywhere we go. The thing is the knowledge we think we are gaining doesn’t necessarily translate to wisdom. What some are not aware of is there is a significant difference between wisdom and knowledge, which is mainly the quality.

12. Contentment-

While it is great many people want to continue to endeavor with achieving more, it also can turn toxic if it isn’t regulated. This does not mean regulated by stronger powers, it means to regulated the constant wanting more. Instead of always wanting more, there needs to be a time when we can look at all we do have in the present and be thankful for it. Many still don’t understand that more doesn’t mean better and need to realize what it means to simply be at peace with the life we have and all we have in our lives.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope what was written in this post was beneficial for you and also provides thoughts of pride because you are a kind and loving person. We are all going through many hard times, which can cause stress and frustration. These are things I can completely understand and sincerely wish there was something I could do to give assurance to everyone. When life gets challenging people will either jump into help or run away from the sadness. I wish there was a warm and sunny place we could all hide from what is going on, but regrettably there isn’t. The best way we can cope is to be supportive and understanding, but also feel like you have someone who understands and will offer support!

I know it is only Tuesday, but I hope your week going well and you are feeling the best you possibly can. I know I just wrote a lot, but I do want to know what you think. I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Boundaries and how to set them

Do you ever feel trapped within other people’s problems because they constantly lean on you for either advice or help? Do your friends and even family know you will always lend an ear to whatever they are going through, even when it is self-inflicted? How many times has what whoever comes to you with their latest problem or problems did it make you feel an incredible amount of emotional pain that was almost suffocating?

The truth is I have never been able to turn my back on anything that was in distress and needed someone to talk to. It is not in my nature to tell someone I can or do not have time to listen and attempt to help them. Is it even possible to avoid becoming emotionally involved when an individual you care about is struggling? Even though we do always want to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, solicitous, and caring, there can come a time when we need to consider our own well-being over another’s.

I am sure that everyone has heard about the importance of developing personal boundaries and has probably implemented them by now. Even though I am very aware of the fact I need to set boundaries, but I have yet to execute any what-so-ever. I guess the reason I decided to write about boundaries is that I need and want to learn how to set boundaries before losing too much too myself and feeling resentful way too frequently.

We all have our limits to what we are willing and able to cope with, after all, we are only human and unfortunately do not have magical powers. How many times throughout your life have your friends, co-workers, or family pushed far beyond the limits you are willing to deal with? I can say without hesitation that I don’t think I can count the number of times using both my fingers and toes. Once you have been unsuccessful in separating yourself from what others are going through as much as I have, you are going to want to find change. Often the changes we desire to make are not easy and can be outright frustrating, but with enough perseverance anything is possible!

I have heard many people talk about how crucial it is to have boundaries in all of our relationships. With that said, how would you define boundaries? It is my understanding that boundaries are the limits we put in place with other people. These boundaries specify what we find to be both acceptable and unacceptable in the way others behave towards us.

Our capability of knowing our boundaries typically comes from our sense of self-worth or evaluating one’s self in ways that are NOT dependent on anyone else or the feelings others may have towards another. Self-worth is about discovering the natural value of who we are, which helps our awareness of the following:

1. Intellectual Worth which means just like you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions, everyone else is as well.

2. Emotional Worth means you are entitled to your feelings towards any situation, everyone else should be given the same respect.

3. Physical Worth refers to no matter how broad the space is you are entitled to your personal space as do others.

4. Social Worth means just as you are entitled to your friends and the ability to pursue your social activities, so do others.

5. Spiritual Worth means just as you are entitled to your spiritual beliefs, so is everyone else.

To set boundaries it is important to fully understand that four different types which can be defined as the following:

Physical Boundaries are the easiest to define because they are external and seen.

These boundaries can be described as your office, your desk, your computer that is password-protected, and your money in your bank account, your car that is locked, and your body.

Over the years as I got older the one boundary I never had an issue with is my physical boundary. I do not like for people to come too close to me or put their hands on me. Concerning my personal boundaries, before social distancing, I do not want anyone invading the space between me and the length of my arms.

Mental Boundaries are regarding to our personal thoughts.

It is impossible for two people to always agree on everything all of the time. Each individual is entitled to their thoughts, opinions, values, and beliefs. We all want our mental boundaries respected, so we must reciprocate the same respect to others.

I can say that when I am having a conversation with someone that has opposing views than I have, I am stubborn enough to know I will not change my thought process. When discussing something I am extremely passionate about and believe strongly in, I will simply explain my reasoning to the other person and understand everyone is free to have their own beliefs and I will not try changing the other person.

Emotional Boundaries are what gives us the freedom to feel how we feel.

Setting healthy emotional boundaries has two distinct and beneficial purposes. They help prevent us from inflicting others with our emotion and unloading continuously on anyone that will listen, which later we will probably regret doing. Emotional boundaries assist us in managing our emotions in appropriate and healthy ways.

The other aspect of emotional boundaries is they prevent us from taking on and carrying other’s emotions that constantly share. The emotional boundaries we put in place are meant to disconnect our emotions from another person’s emotions, which is where I consistently fail. If someone close to me is struggling and distressed, I want more than anything to be able to help them with love, empathy, and advice. It is painfully difficult accepting that I can’t help or force them to do things I think are mortally right, they are the only person that can help themselves through their problems.

Spiritual Boundaries are protecting our beliefs and regarding to our sense of spirituality.

We are all entitled to believe in what we feel and we should never dismiss what anyone else believes, as no one else should dismiss ours.

Our personal boundaries come in three distinct categories which are defined as:

1. Healthy Boundaries meaning not only does a person value their opinion, but also do not compromise their values for anyone else. They are also welcoming and accepting when others say “NO” to them.

2. Rigid Boundaries are when a person avoids both intimate and has very few close relationships. Typically never asks for any help and often seems to be detached. Those with rigid boundaries distance themselves from others to avoid rejection.

3. Porous Boundaries are when individuals share too much personal information. Not only do those with this form of boundaries have a hard time saying “NO” to other’s requests, but they also become overly consumed with the problems other people are going through. These individuals tolerate abuse and or being disrespected.

If you already have established boundaries in your relationships, that is great and I applaud you for that. On the other hand, if you are like me and want to set boundaries in place for your well-being, I am glad that I am not alone and we can tackle this together. I have found various ways to implement boundaries, but I figure it is best to start easy. I am going to share the four simple steps for straight-forward boundaries.

1. Understand and recognize your limits-

Clearly describe your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries with all your relationships first. Take the time to scrutinize previous experiences when you felt unsettled, irritated, bitter, resentful, and or disappointed. It is reasonable the reason we felt this way was a result of your limits being violated.

2. Be assertive-

Taking time to create and explain your boundaries is a step in the right direction, but maintaining follow-through is also critical. When someone invades our boundaries the only they are going to know is if we are direct and assertive with that them.

3. Practice makes perfect-

Being assertive may not come naturally to you because you are worried people will view you as mean and or rude. When we confirm what our boundaries are it shows that you value yourself, your needs, and your feelings more than what others think. It does not indicate you are being rude or even mean when you are assertive; it actually means you are being honest and fair with the other person.

4. If all else fails, delete, ignore, and move on-

Of course, we need to voice what our boundaries are first and then follow an action plan. You do need to tie up any loose ends and given family, friends, co-workers, and whoever else about the cease to any promises previously made, and you no longer owe them anything more. Once you asserted yourself and made things crystal clear, if they choose to violate your boundaries, it is perfectly acceptable to simply ignore them.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you. Life is short and being constantly consumed with everyone else’s problems can be draining. I am hoping that developing boundaries, I will be less stressed and frustrated with the problems I hear about. I would love it if you have any other advice for anyone that wants to develop boundaries, you will share your knowledge! I hope your weekend is going well and you are staying very safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Bright Side of Negative Feelings

We have all heard that there is power in positive thinking, which I have always believed to be true. Even though we need to try finding the positive aspects of most situations we encounter in life, sometimes is still can be nearly impossible to not recognize and acknowledge our negative feelings. Do you think it is possible to maintain a positive mindset most of the time, but that it also isn’t healthy to ignore our negative feelings?

In this post I am going to share with you some critical reasons why we should not ignore our negative feelings when they appear, but instead embrace them.

1. Negative feelings can be viewed as a powerful warning method-

What does our fear do for us? Fear warns us of imminent danger and urges us to take action. Our negative feelings basically do the same and are acting as an alarm that signals possible harm in some form. This hard could be physical, emotional, or mental depending on what is going on in life.

We all pay attention when we feel fear, so why shouldn’t we embrace negative feelings? We should ask ourselves the question, why we are experiencing these negative emotions? Is there something we should be avoiding? Does this mean we should be taking another path in life?

2. Negative feelings are trying to tell us that something is NOT right-

I have just explained how our negative feelings notify us of possible danger, but they also can be warning that something in our life isn’t right. Maybe it is something in our relationship, our career, or something with our health, or even something we continue to put off has issues that we need to address. Often we should not view our negative feelings as merely a nuisance, but more as a good friend that has our best interests in mind.

3. Negative emotions can encourage us to take beneficial actions-

Unfortunately, we have all received bad news that caused us sadness. When this happens, what is the first thing we do? It is human nature to feel down and even feel sorry for ourselves. Instead of ignoring these negative feelings, it might be better to embrace them. Acknowledge the feelings we are experiencing and allow them to help us find a logical solution.

We should not deny or apologize for our negative emotions. Nor should we allow these negative emotions to paralyze us or overwhelm us. We are allowed to feel what we feel, whenever we feel what we feel and never dismiss those emotions. We are feeling how we feel for a reason and maybe we should explore them.

4. Negative feelings allow us to welcome and appreciate the good life has to offer-

How would you feel if everything in life went the same and was predictable? If every moment of our life was always happy and content, there would not be any negative feelings that would make the positive feelings more appreciated when they occur. All of us need to understand that no matter how much pain and distress we may deal with, life will also provide us with happiness and comfort.

5. Negative feelings provide us confirmation of what is important-

A well-founded signal you have come into your core values is when you have negative feelings. Maybe you violated one of your values or you failed to follow through with a promise and you are feeling guilty for this. Negative feelings are commonly a crucial assertion that we are honoring our beliefs, values, and views.

6. Negative feelings invite us to contemplate-

Allowing ourselves to have negative feelings allows us the opportunity to think deeply about things we did not give adequate time to previously. It is possible, we need to consider our health practices or spending habits or maybe something we have continued putting off for a long period, but are all things that need to be dealt with. Embracing and acknowledging our negative feelings may not be easy, but they are needed for our mental, physical, and emotional health.

7. Negative feelings can help protect us when we feel overburden-

Many of us tend to overdo things and push ourselves beyond the limits we are aware of. When we do over extend ourselves, we will hopefully begin feeling negative feelings such as frustration and irritability. These feelings are our body’s way to telling us to start facing ourselves and start limiting the amount of additional commitments we take on. We must listen to our inner voice and pay attention to the warnings our negative feelings are trying to notify us of.

8. Negative feelings offer healing-

We do not need to have thick skin or be referred to as overly sensitive; we just need to take time to heal when someone else causes us pain. If another person does or says something hurtful, it is very common to have negative feelings regarding the situation. Denying our feelings, no matter how negative they maybe will not speed up our healing process. This means it might be beneficial to use those negative feelings to promote our healing and take the time needed to do so without rushing ourselves.

9. Negative feelings will not allow a denial of reality-

It is important we know and understand that denying our feelings will not be a successful way to get over our negative feelings. Pretending something doesn’t bother us will never make that lie be the truth and could end up causing more issues and pain for the future. When something or someone causes us pain, it is perfectly fine to grieve the loss and disappointment. The only true way to get over disappointment and or hurt is the face the problem, mend the wounds, and move on with the life you deserve.

I hope the information in this post was beneficial for you, especially if you are going through a difficult time. It is never easy to face what has caused us pain, but we will be better off in the long run if we do so. I am sure there are several other ways that would be helpful and would love to read any comments you may have. The entire world is dealing with hard times right now and we all need to help and support one another. Until times get a little easier being kind, compassionate, and empathetic to what others are dealing is extremely important. I also wanted to say, please do not take this post as a negative, but to just say it is okay to have negative feelings because we are only human!

Thank you so much for visiting my site today. I hope you had a lovely week and you will enjoy a safe and happy weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to be Free of Bad Habits

How-to-Break-Bad-Habits-1What is meant by bad habits? Bad habits are defined as a patterned behavior that is considered to be detrimental to one’s physical and or mental health. This is typically linked to a high level of discipline and self-control. No matter who you are unfortunately we all have bad habits that we want to be free from.

Many people will end up dealing with stress and boredom with bad habits. If you can 15WELLSTRESS-superJumbothink back to a time you were faced with a stressful situation, how did you deal with those negative feelings? While many things are viewed as bad habits, I normally end up biting my nails or pick at the skin around my fingers. What would you say your bad habits are?

We all know it is not easy to break bad habits, but it is important to at least try and not give up. I do have several bad habits I would like to be free from to proceed with a healthier and fulfilling life. I have discovered several ways to eliminate bad habits and would love to get your how-habits-work-e1527142989402feedback on them.

  1. The first step is determining the core of your bad habit. Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer-prize winning American journalist and non-fiction author, has determined three basic parts to our habits. Our habits primarily work in a cycle of these parts.
  • The Cue– This is the feeling, time, or location which triggers your habits, good or bad.
  • The Routine- This is whatever the habit itself is.
  • The Reward- This is the craving that the habit satisfies.

Taking the time to understand each of the components is the first step to seizing our work-towards-positive-goals-e1527142980586habits. It may be beneficial to write down the cue, routine, and reward for whichever habit you decide you want to break, ask yourself:

What triggered the routine?

What is the craving the body is trying to satisfy?

  1. Change your surroundings-

At this point we have already determined the cue or cues that are responsible for your-surroundings-may-change-but-your-essence-and-your-personality-pretty-meaningtriggering our bad habits. Logically, we can understand once we manage to eliminate what cues our habits initiate, there will no longer be anything prompting the habit cycle to begin. Changing our surroundings can remove the cues causing our bad habits. One study that was done in a university, researchers found that students who transferred to a new university were far more likely to change their bad habits, than the students that did not change universities. This occurred because the students that changed universities did not have certain cues that were the cause of their bad habits.

  1. Focus on one bad habit at a time-1_gRP3W-OyXkTOgnsL-vFcVQ

Many of us have more than one bad habit we would like to eliminate. Trying to tackle too many habits at a time will on decrease our abilities for successful outcomes. To successfully eliminate our bad habits, it is crucial to focus all of our attention on just one habit before we try handling another one.

  1. View your goal as a positive-

Another key element of habits is the routine, which is the behavior that is triggered by achievementthe cue. In other words, it is the habit you want to eliminate. Typically, when we set goals for ourselves we are not putting them in a positive frame of mind, but instead they are in a negative mindset. Our brain’s habit system responds better to positive goals. For instance, instead of your goal being “I will stop eating junk food” try “I am going to eat healthier”.

Psychologists have suggested that pursuing negative goals is linked with feelings of inadequacy and decreased self-esteem, which can discourage us from taking action. People tend to find it easier to become motivated by positive goals, which increase the opportunity for successfully achieving our goals.

  1. Replace the bad with the good you love-how-to-replace-your-habit-e1527143114914

Quitting a habit altogether seldom work out the way we intended. Once a habit is formed, it becomes an instinct for us to follow through with the routine because our brains are wired to see the cue and desired reward. Instead of completely eliminating habits, keep the old cue and reward, but start a new routine.

***In a future post I will go through a few bad habits and how to eliminate them***

  1. Forgive yourself if you relapse-

It is not easy to break bad habits and there is always a possibility you will go back to ForgetForgiveyour old ways several times before achieving your ultimate goal. You have probably heard old habit die hard, well that couldn’t be any truer! It is important to allow yourself the chance to try again and not be angry about any setbacks. You will have a far better chance at achieving your goals if you do not deter yourself with negative and disappointing thoughts.

  1. Keep your goals to yourself-you-are-more-likely-to-achieve-your-goals-if-you-17815709

We might think that sharing our goals with others would be encouraging, but this actually lowers our chances of success. Once we tell people about the goals we have set for ourselves, they will view us a little different and this could falsely assure the mind that the identity goal is partially complete and you might not put the effort in that is needed reach your goal.

love and supportThank you for visiting my site today. I hope your weekend has started off great and you are feeling the best you can. I am excited to read your feedback on this post and anything you have tried to free yourself of bad habits, I promise to respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Open letter to the president, vice president & other leaders

open letterThis post is my open letter to the current president, vice president, and other leaders. I am sorry in advance if what I have stated creates any ill feelings, but this is the way I feel about things.

To the president, vice president, and others in power,

While the world has been under attack from a deadly virus, shouldn’t you be protecting and defending the country and people you represent? Are you unable to see the damage you are doing daily? You were made aware of the virus that has caused extensive turmoil long before you bothered to act on it. We have all been terrified of this virus and those, like myself with a compromised immune system have lived in fear for months. 

How long did you say COVID-19 was a democratic hoax or not all that serious? You tried blaming everyone but the person you have to see in the mirror every day. Do you think if you acted like a president, a real leader sooner, lives could have been saved? Instead of thinking of your presidential duties as a TV show, you should be thinking of the lives you have endangered. Instead of leaning on Twitter and calling journalist fake news, you should be behaving in a much more mature manner instead of the childish ways you are.

Three and a half years into you being the president of the United States, you still feel threatened by our previous president. You are even trying to blame your failures on him and why? Obama was not perfect, but he did care more about American lives that you ever have.

I am not saying things would have been drastically different if only you acted on the information you were provided because we will never know now. It is obvious you somehow have supporters and those people listen and believe your lies. Too many followed your idea about ingesting disinfectants, which cause chaos. The people that believe what comes out of your mouth isn’t necessarily your fault, they are just ignorant and unable to think for themselves.

What I would like to ask of you is to please start thinking about the millions of people you represent. Start putting our needs above your egotistical mindset. You are currently the president of the most powerful country in the world, so start acting like it. Yes, COVID-19 did begin in China and yet the numbers of cases and deaths in the United States are higher than any other country in the world because of you. We are not able to go back in time to repair the numerous disturbances and lives destroyed because of your inability to act as you care about anyone besides yourself. You can start today treating people like they matter. You can start to have respect for journalists that are just doing their job. You can start being a president!

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading my extremely frustrated letter to thosewe are in this together in power. Again, I am sorry if anything I wrote offended you. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and if you do feel the president is doing well for the people and country that is your choice and I can respect that. I only hope you can respect my feelings and thoughts on how much damage has happened to the country and how many lives were impacted by things not be handled immediately. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤