Thoughts out of the blue

Out of the blue and for no reason at all, I started thinking about a life-altering event I went through. This is not something I dwell on because I have very little control over it and it would be a waste of time to overthink it. It has been more than 20 years since I heard my doctor tell me that I had Multiple Sclerosis. I was still so young, very ignorant of what this meant for my life, and fears of how many challenges I would be forced to endure. Of course, I did hear the words the doctor spoke to me on the day he broke the news to me, but it took me a while to accept what he said to me. I tried my best to fight him and tell him he was wrong, but that was fighting a battle I had no chance of winning. After several months, I chose to accept it, but also to never surrender because I do believe in the power of the mind and that positive thoughts produce positive outcomes.

All those years ago, I was terrified that I would not be able to live a normal life. Nowadays, I wonder what is normal because for me it is constant pain and frustration with a disease without a cure. I feared that I would lose the ability to walk and take care of myself, which would have been extremely hard for me because I am a very independent person and never want to rely on anyone for anything. It has been approximately 20 ½ years, 7,488 days, 179,703 hours, and 10,782,180 minutes (give or take) and I am still here. I am walking and taking care of myself and my husband, and my three cats. There have been many obstacles through the years, but I have always remained determined to not allow this illness to defeat me.

Over all the years, I have learned more than I ever wanted to about Multiple Sclerosis and as crazy as this sounds, it has taught me a lot. I have learned how to discover a strength that I never imagined having. I have learned how being determined can help me to survive the most challenging situations. I now understand how powerful resilience is and the many ways it can help us to persevere, even when we feel like hope is lost. I have learned just how a positive mind can make a HUGE difference in our daily life.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that I do not dwell on things I have little control over. I do understand that even though I have little control over Multiple Sclerosis, I can control how much I allow it to bring me down and to feel helpless. I do have control over my mind, and I can tell myself that I am stronger than this unpredictable illness. Most importantly, I can remind myself that I did nothing to cause this illness to continue to plague my life. I will continue to keep the promise I made to my late grandfather shortly after I was diagnosed to continue to fight the battle until I win the war against Multiple Sclerosis.

Unfortunately, we all have something we must live with, and we all have a choice in how we approach things. I am thankful the doctor caught the Multiple Sclerosis early because if he did not, I can only imagine how much worst things would be for me today. I will always have a special place in my heart for my first Neurologist and his Nurse Practitioner because they were an amazing team that never lost hope in me. I am thankful that I have learned to not feel any shame because of what I live with.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared today and that in some way, it resonates with you and helps you to understand your strength. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and remaining as safe as possible. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

Monday again, but today is a little different because most of us are off work today😊! There is almost nothing better than a long weekend! Are you doing anything special today or are you taking the day as a relaxing day? Considering my husband has to work tonight and we are dealing with LOTS of rain, I plan to just relax and prepare for the rest of the week. Were you able to do anything exciting over the past two days? I did not do anything too exciting, but I did get my vehicle working again, so I am not trapped at home or depending on a Uber ride! 

Even though this is a short week, we all need a little motivation to begin the week with the best of intentions and positive thoughts! Yes, this will be a shorter week, but they always feel longer to me than the typical weeks. The only thing we can do is brace ourselves and push through the best we can because that is what we do best! I hope you will find the quote I am sharing motivating as it covers everything we need to understand our strengths and abilities.

Today we can do just about anything we want, well unless you have to work today. I think besides relaxing with my sweet cats, I want to finish a few posts I have been thinking about. Nothing better to do when I do not have to work but catch up on things I am unable to do when I have to work. I also think it might be a good idea to figure out what I am going to write about for the essay competition because I know I will regret it if I do not at least try. I have always believed the only way we can fail is if we do not try or we give up!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and the quote was motivating for you. I do look forward to reading your comments, which I will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to deal with manipulative people~

What does manipulation mean to you? The Webster’s Dictionary shows manipulation to mean a few different things, but for this post, it means, “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one’s advantage”. To your knowledge, has anyone in your life ever tried to manipulate you? If so, how did this make you feel and how did you handle it?

Unfortunately, manipulative people can be found anywhere. These people can be family, friends, co-workers, or even new people in your life. They are not always easy to detect because they can easily lie and deceive you. Although they are skillful in their deceptive and treacherous behaviors, they are careless and selfish with only their benefits in mind. 

Manipulative people know how to find your weaknesses, use them against you, and convince you to do what will benefit their interests. Some may attempt using positive tactics, such as disingenuous compliments and artificial closeness, but they typically use negative means like silent treatment, criticism, and emotional abuse. 

The feelings felt when being manipulated are unpleasant, to say the least. This can easily leave a person feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, and even betrayed. If you have even been on the receiving end of manipulation, please let this be a lesson and never treat another person in this way.

**Please note, I am not a psychologist, mental health professional, or medical professional in any way, but the following tips are what I discovered through research and I hope they will help you end manipulative people before they can hurt and deceive you**

Remember, NO means NO:

Learn how to say “NO” in a firm, calm, and diplomatic way. There is no need to add anything else to the conversation. When we offer any reason, it can just provide ammo for the person to use to get through your defenses and force you to say “yes”. Initially, the manipulative person may become irritated and persistently try to convince you of something other than what you have already stated. Do not allow their determination or pushy behavior to change your mind. Continue to say “NO” and they will eventually give up. 

Do not apologize automatically:

Manipulative people are skillful at turning the tables to make everything be your fault, even when in your heart you know it was not. These types of people are always the victim. Of course, we are all human and it may seem easier to apologize to keep the peace and end the conversation, but this will just provide them with more control. Stand your ground and know manipulative people will never take responsibility for their actions.

Do not react:

Although it is not easy, the more you defend yourself or explain your reasons, the farther you fall into their web of control. Manipulative people know the way you think and will take advantage of it. They will create drama and chaos and the more emotional you become, the calmer they will feel. They want to make you seem like the crazy one and they are sane. No matter how many accusations and criticisms they throw at you, try to walk away and simply say, “I am sorry you feel that way”.

Establish clear boundaries:

Manipulative people are drawn to and prey on people pleasers because their boundaries are often weaker. Boundaries are important in all relationships as lines are clearly drawn. If there is a manipulative person in your life that continues to cross even one of your boundaries, know when it is time to walk away and not engage further. Define ahead of time what the consequences are when the person continues to disrespect you and your boundaries.

Take time to make decisions:

Often a manipulative person will be forceful and demand an answer right away. Try to never cave into their pressure because it only gives them more control. Take as much time as you need to provide them with an answer.

Keep your distance: 

The best and most challenging thing to do is to cut these manipulative people out of your life because they will try to make you feel guilty. Sometimes ignoring the person is easier because they are unaware of what is going on.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information in this post will help you deal with a manipulative person in your life or at least prepare you to handle on if you ever are forced to. Life is not easy, and we always need to do what is best for us because it is our life! If you have dealt with this type of person before, I am interested to read about it and how you handled it or knew it was happening. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Pick-Me-Up Thursday

Of course, it was a “short” week, but it definitely felt much longer than four days. I think one reason it has felt so long is that it has been SO darn HOT. Anyone reading this that has Multiple Sclerosis knows that the heat is our enemy. Thankfully, I hardly leave my house, but we do not have central air in our house and it gets really hot even with the window units. I have been ready for fall since April because it was already getting hot back then and now it is ridiculously hot. It is at times like this that I drink nothing but ice-cold water!

At this point in the week, I am sure we could all use a pick-me-up to help get us through the last part of the week. We all go through SO much in life and it can be painfully difficult. Sometimes it may take every ounce of energy and strength we have inside, but we will find a way to survive any challenges we must endure. We may feel broken at times, but we have so much courage and determination that we can conquer anything we decide to and do so with grace, and dignity! Never back down and try to stand up tall with pride!

As the week is coming to an end shortly, how was your week? Do you have anything planned for the weekend? My only plans for the weekend are to rest and recuperate from this past week because it was a crazy week. Although we did have a long weekend, I never slept in and feel incredibly drained today. Even though my plan is to sleep in, I know my cats will never allow this to happen. I love them with all my heart, but sometimes I want to strangle them because they wake me up every day at the same time, which is at 6:30 AM!

Thank you for stopping by my site today. I hope you have enjoyed what I shared and you found meaning in the quote. I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Something important to remember is, you are important and you deserve nothing but the BEST in life! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

TGIF

Life is not always perfect, and it is impossible to be happy all the time, but we do have the power to make changes when necessary. Complaining about things in life we are unhappy with is NEVER going to change things for the better. Sometimes we need to implement the changes we NEED in our life. The problems we encounter are NOT going to fix themselves and will only get worst. We spend most of our time at work, so if we are miserable in our job, it might be time to start looking for something different where we are not miserable for eight hours a day, five days a week.

Work is not always fun, but it can be fulfilling and semi-enjoyable. I have always enjoyed working with people and find “some” of them interesting. However, more and more I am finding the way people behave and treat others disturbing and offensive. I treat people the way I would want to be treated and try my best to understand their outlook on things and what they might be going through. The way things have been in recent times, I have a new view on this. Unfortunately, so many people are selfish and do not care how their tone, verbiage, and treatment affect others.

Changing jobs is extremely frustrating and challenging. It takes persistence and perseverance. Numerous job search sites are available. The most popular and user-friendly are https://www.linkedin.comhttps://www.indeed.com/https://www.monster.com/, and https://www.glassdoor.com/. I am sure there are many more out there, but I am not familiar with any others. A quick and simple google search can bring up others if you are looking for another job. 

We are only offered one life and there is no way to rewind, pause, repeat, or fast-forward. If there is anything you are not completely happy or content with, it is time for a change. This can be in a job, relationship, where you live, what you do for enjoyment or anything else involved in your life. Of course, change is never easy, but it can be accomplished with strength and determination. 

Relationships whether they are romantic, friendship, colleagues, or family can be complicated. All relationships require strong and open communication. Without being able to be open and honest, a relationship will fail quickly. It is also important to never hide anything from your life partner. When people hide things from the person, they are building a life with, there will only be unnecessary complications. We should not feel like we need to hide anything because we are already being open and honest, so there should not be anything to hide, right?

I am not complaining about my job, but I am unhappy with the way things have been. The training missed many things we needed to know and now everyone is so overwhelmingly busy, that no one has time to help those that are newer. I have always been a perfectionist with my work and hate making mistakes. Therefore, I take a massive number of notes because I want something to reference when I am unsure. There have been several people that I work with currently that are amazing and helpful, but then there are others that talk or email in a demeaning and discouraging way. I think some people forgot what it was like to be new and learn an entirely new industry.

I think part of the reason I have felt so irritable lately is that it is WAY too hot! The heat causes many of my MS symptoms to be aggravated and intensified. It is only May, and the temperature has already been in the high 90s. I do not even want to know how hot it is going to get when it is summer. Living in the south and still waiting to get central air has been troublesome and infuriating. I do enjoy summer, but only when I am at the beach because the ocean breeze counteracts the insane heat. I mean who in their right mind wants to be out when the temperatures are so high? No sane person! 

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post, and the information was beneficial. It is finally Friday, and we now have the weekend to look forward to. We can let of the negative feelings the week caused us. There is no point carrying those negative feelings into our weekend when we know anything we were dealing with this week will probably still be waiting for us on Monday. I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tranquil Tuesday

Monday is over and behind us now, which is always a good thing. How is your week going so far? Yesterday was not as bad as last Monday, but that does not mean I am not glad it is over. Mondays are always so chaotic and people seem much more demanding. I am starting to think the only people in this world are rude, demanding, and overly pushy because everyone wants their needs met immediately. I do not understand why people do not possess patience or understanding, but those qualities are missing in the world, or at least with those that I come in contact with.

During our weeks we need to find more tranquility. We all go through different challenges and it can be hard to overcome certain issues. Unfortunately, we all face situations daily that can make our internal light dull or be blown out completely. To keep our light burning bright, we need to be brave and courageous enough to never give up and always keep pushing forward. I hope you found some kind of peace in this quote and it carries you through your day!

I have said this before, but do you not think the world would be a much happier place if we could all love the way animals do? We have three amazing cats and they all love unconditionally. It does not matter how awful my day was, the three of them can make anything better. They are always happy to see me, even when it has been less than an hour I saw them last. They will meet and great me at the door when I am done with work for the day and they act like they have not seen a human in a decade. Animals do not judge and normally do not hold a grudge, at least not for long😊!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and the quote gave you a sense of peace. I do look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I possibly can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

Hello Monday! Our weekends go by so fast and the week returns. It seems like Friday was just minutes ago and now we are back to the beginning of the week again. It does not matter if we are ready, the new week is here. I hope your weekend was spent doing what brings you joy and you were able to relax and rest. I know I needed more than two days to recuperate from last week because last week was pretty awful. No matter how last week went down for us, let’s hope this new week is much better!

I think it is important to begin the week with a positive and fresh state of mind. We cannot go back in time and change anything that occurred last week, but we can learn from any mistakes that were made. Honestly, I learned a lot from last week and there are mistakes I will NEVER make again. I hope what I am sharing with y’all today provides you with motivation and courage to take on this week with determination!

Is there anything you are looking forward to this week? Our weeks are supposed to offer us a new beginning and opportunities, so I hope this week offers you that and more. It is only Monday and I am already looking forward to Friday, but I am sure as the week progresses I will have a better outlook. I am having a hard time letting go of some negative things from last week, but I am trying!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week begins well and gets better with each day that passes. I hope you have enjoyed what I have shared with you today and I look forward to reading your comments. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort. support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tuesday Survival Mode

Tuesday is an indicator we made it through one of the hardest days of the week, Monday. Yesterday was a challenging and frustrating day for me for a few reasons. Work is getting busier, and people are getting more demanding. There are a few people I work with that are helpful and I can communicate with, knowing they respect me because they never talk down to me. Another person I have a lot of respect for the way she views things, however, she does not always respect me when speaking to me I guess everyone handles stress and busy days differently. Regardless of, how people chose to talk to others, I am trying to not let things upset me because, at the end of the day, it is not worth it.

Another reason yesterday became challenging is because the MS hug is back. It has been happening on and off, but when it is in full force, it is awful. The MS hug is the kind of hug no one wants. I am sure it feels different to everyone, but for me it hurts and takes my breath away, making it hard to breathe at times. I have no plans on letting my specialist know because I do not like their ways of healing it. I hate steroids more than most anything else.  Steroids make me miserable and cause my personality to be altered and not for the better.

On a positive note, on June 10th, one month from today, I get to meet my literary role model. I think of James Patterson as an icon with his writing. I view him as one of the best and most memorable authors of our time. His books are creative, engrossing, and captivating. Once I start one of his books, especially in The Women’s Murder Club series, it is nearly impossible to put down. I have thought a lot about what I will say to him during the brief encounter. I have decided to call him Mr. Patterson. He is an elder and deserves the utmost respect. I want to tell him how much I love his writing and how much I respect his abilities, and of course, I would love to know how he does what he does. Unfortunately, I also know my time will be limited.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week is going well so far and that it only gets better as the days pass us by. Thankfully, we have survived one day of the week and have four to go, but I think we can handle it. Yes, each day brings us new demands and it takes determination and a strong will to make it. The truth is, this is never easy, but we are all strong enough to handle anything thrown our way. I look forward to your comments and will respond to them as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Few days left of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month

There are only a few days left of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. March will be coming to an end, but unfortunately, those living with this illness still must endure the issues involved. There are always so many questions that come to my mind and none of them have any answers. Do I wish this illness had a cure? I would be lying if I said no because I wish with everything in me there will be a cure someday soon. Is this illness frustrating? Again, I would be lying if I said no because it is one of the most frustrating things in my life. Is there anything I can do to change things now? Of course, the only thing I can do is stay positive and take care of myself the best that I can.

There are many reasons Multiple Sclerosis is incredibly frustrating one is that I feel like I do not have control of it. Yes, I might have minor control issues. I like things to go according to a plan that makes sense and is clear. I hate not being able to control my body because of an illness that does not have a cure, yet. I do not understand why there has been so much research done and the only thing that changes is the medications being pushed out by the pharmaceutical companies. I know that many people in these pharmaceutical companies care more about themselves and their bank accounts than those living with this illness.

Another reason Multiple Sclerosis is extremely frustrating is that I must live in pain every minute of every day and that is exhausting! I woke up this morning with my back in so much pain it hurt more to lay in bed than get up but still was painful trying to move. Last night, I felt a migraine working its way into my head. The only thing I could do was go to bed and hope it would be gone in the morning. Unfortunately, the head pain was not gone, but it was slightly more manageable. Pain is awful to live with, but migraines are the absolute worst because it often feels like there is a sledgehammer pounding on my head!

Overall, I do loathe Multiple Sclerosis, but I know it could be much worse than it is. I guess there is a small part of me that is thankful for the type I live with. I do not and never will know what caused me to have this condition, but I feel like there must be a reason. When there are no explanations for things, I find it immensely irritating, and it makes me slightly angry. Considering I have always believed there is a reason for everything that happens in our life, I feel there must be a reason I have Multiple Sclerosis.

No matter how frustrating Multiple Sclerosis can be and how many times a day I want to give up, I made a promise all those years ago when I was diagnosed to my late grandfather that I never would surrender and would continue to fight. Sadly, I know there may come a day when I am unable to fight any longer, but that day will not come for many more years. I am far too determined to let anything, especially an illness control my life.

Thank you for visiting my site this afternoon. I hope you are having a lovely and relaxing day! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. The weekend will be coming to an end soon, so enjoy what is left of it safely! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Toxicity in families

Family can be a sensitive topic to talk about because there tend to be various types of feelings. Families either are happy and get along well or there are vast levels of drama and ill will. The truth is we do not get to choose our family because it is something we are born into, but the same blood that runs through our veins does not mean we must endure the toxicity that can come along with it. Toxic relationships cause stress and unpleasant feelings, so when life is short, we do have the right to decide when to free ourselves from venomous people.

The reason I am writing about this today is that I decided a long time ago to not associate with my mother’s side of the family. Even as a young child I could see their actions to be deceitful and malicious. I wanted no part of their destructive behavior and know I am a better person because I cut ties with them years ago. I feel that if they had been part of my life all these years, I might not be the happy, kind, loyal, loving, compassionate, caring, and honest person I am today because they are the polar opposite of who I am and who I want to be.

Recently, my mother’s younger sister went to her house for a visit. Despite me saying it was an awful idea because they have always had a toxic relationship and I did not think it would go well. Unfortunately, this is a time I wish I was wrong because the visit went terribly and caused many hurtful feelings. I do not have siblings, but from what I understand siblings should have a bond that was built in their childhood which they clearly never had.

Something people often forget is, hurtful words cannot be erased or forgotten. I have always said although physical bruises can heal, verbal wounds do not heal and can hurt for years. It is important to value yourself enough to never allow another person to attack you verbally or physically because you are worth more than that. Most of the time those that say vicious things are unhappy with their life. We have all heard that saying, “misery loves company” and we need to not welcome their company into our lives.

I do understand that family is important, but no one needs to deal with listening to ugly words from family. Maybe it would be better to say we need to understand how to maintain boundaries with others. We know what we are willing to endure and what we will refuse to deal with. When we do set boundaries, we must never change them to make someone else happy because these boundaries were set for our happiness and mental health.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read what I have shared. I hope what I have written helps you if you are dealing with toxic a family member or other relationships. We all need to learn to value our self-worth and love ourselves before anyone else can truly love us. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending you LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa