Bad night turns to a bad day!

stressOverwhelming stress will only cause literally nothing but a terrible amount of pain! For reasons I can completely acknowledge, I was in so much pain last night and could not turn my brain off long enough to get any sleep. I would just lay in bed worrying about every little thing in life and then look over at the clock and just think, “Well if I fall asleep now, I will get 4 hours asleep”. Then an hour later still be awake and see the time and once again think to myself, “ If I could just fall asleep now, I will get 3 hours of sleep.” This went on all night and in turn I was not able to go to work today. Truthfully I am really disappointed in myself because I had been doing so well this week working six and a half hours, so to turn around and miss an entire day is just discouraging! I did think about just trying to push myself to go into work on ZERO hours of sleep, but I also knew that would not do my health any good and getting that run down would cause my health to deteriorate even more.

I can not say and be 100% sure if my increased amount of pain is due to the crazy stress 1weather or to the unrelenting stress life continues to throw at me! I never was good at dodge ball, so the stress just keeps hitting me hard! I often wonder if I am causing the stress I feel to take control of my life and I am actually the one that is responsible for making it worse. I know that allowing stress to bombard my thoughts is NOT any good for my friend “MS”, but I also do not seem to have the strength to avoid it and let it just roll of my back. It never fails, instead of when I am faced with anything I know will be stressful, I am not able to just fight to find something a little more peaceful to focus on, but I focus completely on what is causing my stressful thoughts! I can give advice all day long to others on how to handle stressful times, but I NEVER take my own advice!

Now that I am home for the day to allow my terribly achy and fatigued body to rest, all I can do is be hard on myself for breaking the success I did make by working more hours Monday-Thursday! How is it possible that I had such a successful week and now I am in so much pain it hurts to move? Did I push myself too hard in the beginning of the week by trying my hardest to work more hours because of how busy it is right now? I do not feel like I i will breatham capable of not being hard on myself because just last year I was working many more hours and I was fine! Why since October am I not able to do more like I use to be able to? Is it possible that I am now just allowing the MS to win the battle and control my life? That is not me and is just not the way I ever planned for my life to be. I had always planned to control this illness as much as I could, but seem to be failing miserably at that lately! I guess the truth is control is really just an illusion and what is going to happen, it just going to happen! We are not able to control things that are really uncontrollable, in all reality we are only able to control how we handle the difficult times in life.

In all honesty, the only thing I can do right now is rest in order to get better before the new week starts again. I will not give up on the progress I was making earlier this week, I will try again next week and just hope for a better outcome! I really need to learn how to handle my stress levels A LOT better than I have been because really all I am doing by allowing the stress to consume me is destroying my own body and my health! I can dont-lose-hope-everything-happens-for-a-reason-you-never-6877637promise myself all day long that I will make the necessary changes, but I do not know how to. Writing is definitely a great way for me to get my thoughts out which does help some, but I need to find even more ways to cut the stress out completely and for good! Do y’all have any suggestions on how to do this?

I hope y’all had a pleasant Friday the 13th and I hope you are looking forward to your weekend! I do really appreciate you stopping by my site today and look forward to reading your fantastic comments, which I promise I will respond to as quickly as  I possibly can! Please remember that no matter what I may be dealing with in life, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Never give up!

Have a peaceful dayGood evening y’all! I hope you have had a pleasant day and you are feeling well! I really appreciate you taking the time to visit my site and definitely do encourage your comments, I do promise to respond as quickly as I possibly can!

No matter the pain and/or discomfort I may feel, this pesky little thing called MS will never control my life! I will make small and simple adjustments to accommodate the MS to remain comfortable in my life, but I am still determined to live my life in ways that bring me the most joy!

This massive heat wave so many of us are experiencing is causing me to feel extremely fatigued, but letting that run my life is just not an option. Like I said, small andheat wave simple adjustments need to be made at times and to not be exposed to the heat too much is one adjustment that I am willing to make! I was able to adjust my hours at work so the initial part of my day isn’t in the extreme heat, well that was not really the reason for the adjustment of my hours, but it does help other issues as well. I get to work around 7 am which is early, but the sun has not been heating the world up quite yet! Usually I will leave work between 1 and 2 when it is pretty hot and my car feels like a mobile sauna, but I will sit for about 5 minutes with the windows down allowing for the a/c to start blowing cold air! I can not drive when it is too hot because I will feel very faint, which is pretty dangerous! If I have to go to the grocery store, I always try to go do not confuseeither early in the morning or later in the evenings when the sun has gone down. These slight adjustments to handle the heat work fairly well for me at least.

On a crazy plus side, my migraine has taken a short break to allow the other pains I feel play their part in my day-to-day life. Honestly I would much prefer my back and legs to hurt rather than having a massive migraine. The pain I feel constantly in my back and legs is aggravating and makes things a little difficult, but at least I can still function. Even though it is insanely hot outside I will still use my “friend” the heating pad when I am in my chilly work office or at my house. It seems a little strange that the heat outside makes me feel terrible, but my heating pad heals my pain! Maybe it is more the humidity outside making me feel all the darn fatigue. Who knows!?

I am truly happy to say that with the migraine taking a vacation I was able to work six and a half hours for the past two days! I have made a promise to myself to never give up dont give uppushing myself to work additional hours each week. Truthfully there might be times I do not have the strength to increase my hours, but that will never mean it isn’t possible.

I hope y’all have a peaceful and relaxing evening! I hope you are feeling well and taking the time to think about your own needs, which we often tend to neglect. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Half way there!

wednesday.jpgGood afternoon y’all!  I hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday! I am beyond excited that this week is almost over and next week is a four-day work week because of the holiday! 

I have honestly had kind of difficult week dealing with pain issues! There is a certain amount of pain that I find tolerable, but then there is another kind that makes me feel absolutely miserable and incredibly fatigued! Even though I have been dealing with a terrible amount of pain that is mixed with headaches and muscle spasms, I have been able to go to work. I did not make it through six hours Monday and Tuesday, but I did today! Of course after whatever hours I do work, I come home and I am absolutely exhausted. But the simple achievements are better than none! There has been another issue I have experienced this week and I have no idea what is causing it. Both Monday and Tuesday while sitting at my desk at work, I had several what seemed to be fainting episodes. It was really scary, but I was thankful I was sitting down. I did call my doctor’s office to let them know about this, but not so surprising they did not call me back. Have any of you ever experienced this before?

I am a pretty resilient person and I never give up on the goals I have for myself!! A while back I had made the goal to work six hours each day, which honestly did not happen at first. However I did not allow that to keep me down for too long  and tried to not view it as failure. I have always been veryresilience1 hard on myself, but seriously that does not help at all. Being too hard on ourselves only sets us up for hard times, which is never good. My goal now is to just continue to always be resilient and keep moving forward! 

I have to say everyone on this blog helps me see the strength I have and keeps me focused on that strength! There are so many incredible people who I have had the pleasure to get to know and I am very thankful for this. There really seems to be so much ugliness in the world today, but y’all allow me to see the good in others!

I hope y’all had a great day and I hope you are feeling well. Thank you for stopping by my site today and I really do encourage your comments. Y’all already know that I do respond as quickly as I possibly can! I hope you have a lovely evening and do what helps you relax! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

It is officially Summer

summer solsiticeGood evening y’all! I got so caught up with my rant earlier, I completely forgot today is the first day of summer☀. Although I think down here in the south, summer had already started a month ago! When you have warm temperatures in February, which was supposed to be winter, what can summer possibly hold for us? For the foreseeable further temperatures are going to be in the 90’s! These temperatures are nice if you are at the beach🏖 or have swimming pool, but on a normal day they can be torture!!! I think it is safe to say we are in for one ☀HOT summer!

When you live with an illness such as Multiple Sclerosis, it is extremely important to stay as cool as possible. I have heard from numerous people that cooling vests can be very beneficial, so this year I am thinking I might need to give them a chance. Also, staying hydrated is vital to everyone’s health. When you simply go outside to your car, which is normally a short walk, you can be drenched before the air conditioning has a chance to work! I am lucky that normally when I leave the house for work it is early, so typicallyits getting hot the sun☀ has not had a chance to heat things up much, but my goodness when I leave in the afternoon it is insanely🌅 HOT! I try to let the a/c start working before I start my drive home so I do not get overheated and then feel faint. When I have to do the one thing I already dread doing, grocery shopping, I try to either go earlier in the day or after the sun goes down🌛 to avoid too much of the heat. Do y’all have any certain things you do to avoid the nasty heat? Honestly with the way I have already been feeling, I might be a little worried about the summer heat! 

I hope y’all have a nice, relaxing and cool evening! Thank goodness it is almost Friday, which leads us to a two-day weekend! Even though I missed two days of work this week, I am still looking forward to two days away from waking up way too early for work! As always your comments are encouraged and appreciated. I do plan to do more posts about ways to handle the heat, so hopefully they will be helpful for y’all! As always, I am always sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Behind the scenes of life with Multiple Sclerosis!

My-life-with-Multiple-SclerosisGood morning Y’all🌼! I hope you have an amazing day!! I wanted to take a moment to share what life is like living each day with Multiple Sclerosis. It obviously is not all sunshine🌟 and rainbows🌈, there is so much more to it!

I have lived with Multiple Sclerosis for almost 18 very long years and this illness is still a mystery to me! I mean for some the cold makes them feel much better, whereas for others it makes them feel absolutely horrible. Some feel a little better with warmer temperatures and others it takes away all their energy and makes them feel terrible. ribbonThere is no right or wrong, it is all based on each individual person!

My doctor always told me that the heat is the worst thing for me and that might be true in a sense, but the heat does not bother me near as much as extreme humidity!!! Of multiple-sclerosis-quotes-3course the heat causes me a lot more fatigue, but it does not cause the increase pain that cold weather does. I actually swear by my friendly heating pad because it decreases my pain immensely! I might live in the city, but I am a beach girl at heart🏖! I love the beautiful and relaxing sounds of the ocean waves. I think it is the only time that I am not full of stress and anxiety.

The cold weather on the other hand causes me nothing but extreme pain because I get so tense from being cold. Of course with cold weather you can put enough layers of clothing on to stay warm, but the chill that lingers in the air can be miserable. I did find an thermacareamazing solution for dealing with the frigged temperatures. They sell a heating pad that is mobile and no batteries needed. This fabulous product is called Thermacare Heat Wrap.

Living with Multiple Sclerosis comes along with a lot of decisions that need to be made and sometimes they need to be made immediately, which I am not all that great at. There are tons of diseases modifying medications available now and finding the right one can be quite challenging. Of course when I was first diagnosed there was a limited amount of choices, so I put ALL of my trust into my doctor. We soon found out that I am not one that can give myself shots. The funny thing is I do not have any fears of needles; it was the only choice we havemedication I was injecting myself with that I could not handle. The medication would cause me to feel like I had the flu and burned like fire going in. I did try everything possible to stay on the injection based medications, but I failed and just stopped without telling my doctor at first! After a few months, I did finally confess to my doctor and we had to figure out what I would be comfortable with and could tolerate. After several failed attempts, I did finally find the medication that worked best for my body chemistry. My goodness my doctor was a very kind a patient man❤, it really is too bad he had to retire! I do not think I will EVER find another doctor I will connect to as much as I did him.

Of course there are always more decisions that need to made because MS is a constant changing illness. Even after deciding on the disease modifying medication there seems to always be more medications that doctors think should be taken. I do believe that living with MS you have to be willing and able to alter your life when necessary. To me it does seem that the conditions with MS can change at any moment and without any kind of warning.

positive over negativeOver my years with MS, I have experienced vision loss (which I did gain back), intense legs pains, muscle spasms throughout my entire body, fierce back pain, persistent headaches and some memory loss at random times, which is a little unsettling. But through it all, I have never truly given up. Of course I have had some massive frustration issues, but I will NOT let this illness to defeat the strong person I know I am. I am very determined to remain as strong as I possibly can, but I also want to help others hold onto their optimism. Y’all know that I am  a very strong believer in the fact that positive thoughts will bring positive results. I honestly believe that it takes a lot more energy to be negative than to just be as positive as you can!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today❤. I hope y’all enjoyed my thoughts on my life with MS so far and of course I will appreciate any comments you have. I do promise to respond to all comments just as soon as I possibly can. I hope y’all have a wonderful Wednesday! Thankfully we are half way through the week and the weekend is coming up soon. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

 

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Running on EMPTY!

Well spent SundayGood afternoon y’all! I hope you are having a pleasant and relaxing Sunday! My poor mind has been going in so many different directions this weekend! I think I might have hit the wall today because I could not sleep AT ALL last night! I have so many random thoughts running through my mind and this is to the extend I can not just focus on just one.

I have been stressed to the MAX about various things my car being one of them. That poor car has been having issues for the past two weeks and even after placing a special order for the part needed, it is still not satisfied! My husband put the part needed in last night which did fix the problem. We were able to drive my car around our neighborhood a few times, but now a completely unrelated issue has appeared, the car will not switch gears! I mean what in the world could be wrong now? I am unsuccessfully trying to be optimistic that we will figure out what the issue is now and be able to fix it without spending too much money! The reason I am failing with this is because that car seems to have a never-ending bad attitude!dont-give-up-galaxy-hold-on-hope-Favim.com-1428490

My constant pain that will not let up is also causing me to be more than just stressed. Like I do not know what is beyond stressed, but that is how I feel! This pain has been going on for way too long and I really feel I have been patient enough, but I NEED a break! The constant headaches cause me to not be able to focus on what I need to be focused on. The incessant leg and back pain is so becoming SO  FRUSTRATING!! When nothing relieves that pain, what do you do??

Another thing that weighs heavy on my mind is the state of our country because of the government’s behavior.I normally do not bring politics into a conversation, but this is very disturbing to me.  I am not able to put myself in the mind-set of a politician, so I just do not understand why we all can not just get along. Watching the country I grew up in be destroyed at a very fast pace is stressmind-blowing and extremely sad! It is difficult seeing what the problems are and not being able to do anything to fix the issues! 

I am pretty logical person, well most of the time at least, so I know that being overwhelmingly stressed is very unhealthy! I know staying stressed will not make anything better and it is only going to cause me more pain, but I can not seem to turn my mind off! I doubt the lack of sleep is helping me at all right now, but the pain I am in will not even allow me to even take a nap! So I decided writing about it may help ease my stressed out mind! I know this post has been a little all over the place, but this is a mild form of how much is on my mind! 

I appreciate y’all visiting my site today and I strongly encourage you to leave a comment. I always love your comments and I will respond to you just as quickly as I can. I hope your day is going well and I hope the rest of your Sunday is wonderful. Please never forget that I am always sending you LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Yesterday was World MS Day

world ms daySo World MS day was yesterday on May 30th and I did not make any posts about this. I did not ignore World MS Day because I do support the research, but MS is something that plagues my life everyday and it takes so much out of me. My energy level has been pretty low lately and I have been dealing with a lot of fatigue and PAIN! I only want to share information when I can put my heart❤ and soul into writing, but unfortunately yesterday just was not the day! I am trying my best to make up for this today💞!

Y’all know that I have battled MS for almost 18 years without ever giving into the illness. I made myself a promise when I was diagnosed that I would never allow this to control my life and that someday I would win the fight! I am a strong believer that positive thoughts brings positive things into our lives, but you also know sometimes that is easier said than done! MS adds so many different issues to everyone’s life and none of these funworld ms day 1 difficulties are the same for anyone! We all experience this illness in similar, but also different ways. I guess maybe that is the reason it has been so difficult for the doctor’s to figure out a cure, but someday I must believe it will happen for us! 

My journey with MS started when I had lost vision in my left eye, but thankfully the vision came back after a few days of steroids. Y’all already know that steroids are never any fun, but I have definitely had my fair share of this not so pleasant and I guess helpful drug. Over my years with MS, I have experienced so much pain at times and numbness at others, it has been absolutely miserable! But I still refuse to give in and keep fighting a good fight! 

I hope y’all have had a good Friday Eve and hope you are looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend! I really hope y’all are feeling well and of course staying as positive as you possibly can! We all must stay strong to fight through this illness until the wonderful day of a cure. Please never lose hope for this because I do believe it is going to happen for us! Your comments are really appreciated and I love❤ to read them. I do my very best to respond as quickly as I can! I will continue to always send you LOTS of love and comfort! 

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❤Always, Alyssa❤