Bad News Week

I hope y’all have had a wonderful week and you are looking forward to the weekend. I managed to fall behind with my blog and still have a few comments to respond to. The past few days I have been consumed with either a migraine or back pain that was so awful I could hardly do anything. Wednesday morning, my back pain was in a different location than normal. On a typical day, it is my mid to lower back that is in pain, but Wednesday morning it was only in my lower back and it took me at least fifteen minutes to pull myself from the bed. This pain was like nothing I have experienced before and had me mildly concerned. I did not lift anything in the previous days, so it did not make sense and I detest when things do not make sense.

I started having another mean migraine on Wednesday that nothing would help it to ease up. Having a migraine and the unusual back pain was extremely frustrating and nothing was making any sense. I detest when things do not make sense because I am the type that needs logical answers. I guess with Multiple Sclerosis, answers are one thing I may never get.

I would assume I know why there were so many issues with pain and a migraine. I do believe I could make an educated guess because after dealing with this unpredictable and hateful illness and knowing my body better than anyone else. My assumption for these issues is none other than stress. I feel like I continue getting bad news daily almost like there is a sign on my head saying, “Please do something that is going to create more problems in life” on my forehead. I mean getting laid off on December 9th and two weeks later having my truck in the shop with an expensive repair, and then on Wednesday learning that my former company is not paying out for the PTO I did not use threw me into the worst stress tailspin.

I was counting on the PTO payout for bills, my husband’s birthday, and a few other things. I cannot say I am surprised that my former company was going to screw me over again. Apparently, my former company thinks it is perfectly acceptable to basically steal money from me and it seems they can do that legally.

I have been constantly looking for another job and it has been beyond frustrating. Many places are hiring for remote positions, but it has been almost a month and I am still unemployed. Being unemployed is causing my personality to change and I do not like it. I feel like my anger about what has occurred and keeps happening is causing me to be a little hateful. I love my cats more than I can explain, but my mood even has me being angry with them and not wanting to be anywhere around them.

I am trying my best to stay positive, but it is becoming harder every day. I keep trying to tell myself that everything happens for a reason and the perfect job is out there for me and will surface when the time is right. I do not know what I did wrong in a previous life to have to continue dealing with challenges, but whatever it was I am so sorry. I just really need a break and have something, just one small thing happen work out.

I am working on another post and will hopefully have it completed tonight. I have also been working on a short story to help build on the creativity I know that I have inside. Writing has been an outlet for me and even though two of my cats are doing everything possible to not let me write because they want my attention, it is still the only thing that lets me escape from reality.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I appreciate your time and look forward to reading your comments. I will be responding to comments today and tomorrow, so I will be caught up soon. I hope you have a lovely and safe weekend. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Handling a layoff at Christmas

It is extremely unfortunate, but life tends to be accompanied by various challenges. Everything we go through in our life may seem life-altering and impossible to overcome at the time of the situation. It is critical to try seeing each experience in a logical mindset. If we attempt to process and analyze every challenge at the same time, it can become overwhelming. To avoid becoming overloaded with devastation, take your time to process what you have endured before reacting.

There will never be a good time to encounter any type of challenge. For instance, this past Thursday the mortgage company I was working for did a mass layoff. Although this was something I was expecting to happen, it was still traumatic news. Regrettably, I was one of many included in the layoffs.

Of course, there is never a good time to be laid off from a job, but Christmas time is an incredibly awful time. I have gone through so many emotions since Thursday afternoon and still am processing the atrocious news. The good thing is that I was as prepared as one can be to be laid off from their job. When I accepted the job, I knew it would always be a possibility to happen and I knew that I could not go without health insurance, so I am on my husband’s insurance. If I had to worry about insurance on top of looking for a job, my stress level would skyrocket to unhealthy levels.

I am not sure this is a good way to put it, but another reason I am luckier than others that went through this layoff is my husband and I do not have children. We do not have to worry about feeding children and other expenses that come with children. I cannot imagine what those that were laid off are going through losing a job so close to Christmas. I do know one of the people that were laid off was talking about returning the gifts she bought.

As I continue to try seeing the good things with this layoff, my husband and I live within our means. Meaning we do not have several car payments, a high mortgage, credit card debt, and other debts to worry about paying. I have always believed that we should all live within our means and try our best to have savings account for situations like layoffs.

Even though I am doing my best to stay positive, I do have my moments when I am extremely angry about this. My anger is higher than I would prefer it to be, especially because right before the “layoff” meeting I point blank asked my supervisor if layoffs were coming, which she lied about and said she did not even know what the meeting was about. I mean come on, anyone that would believe that is not being realistic. Along with the anger and often at the same time, I am sad and cry. I know anger and tears are not going to fix the issues, but I am working through the emotions at hand. No matter how hard I try to let go of my anger, I still think it is insensitive, selfish, and evil to do layoffs a couple of weeks away from Christmas.

I am trying to continue reminding myself that everything in life happens for a reason and there is something out there waiting for me that is better than the job I had. Of course, with the issues with COVID, I must find a job working from home. I cannot work in an office setting due to my immune system, so that might be a challenge. There was one good thing that came because of COVID and that is many companies are doing remote work because they realized with some industries, work can be done as easily at home as it is in an office and maybe even more effectively.

I was not going to write about my layoff because it is still so fresh in my mind and heart, but I wanted to share my story and hope it would help anyone else that goes through this type of situation. It is normal to go through many emotions when you lose a job, whether it be from a layoff or being fired. I want to tell y’all, any time one door closes another one opens and what is behind that door might be better and make you even happier. It is so important to know how much you are worth and how valuable you truly are!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is no matter how much you think you can trust a supervisor, you cannot because at the end of the day it is just business. I would love the chance to read your comments about this terrible experience and I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Dealing with being let down

Unfortunately, we have all experienced being let down at least once in our lifetime. Maybe you made plans with a friend for a fun outing together, which you were looking forward to. Then as you were getting yourself ready, your friend calls to back out of your plans because of an unexpected issue. Of course, you were understanding because it was out of their control, but that does not mean you were not disappointed.

As with the scenario when a friend backs out of plans last minute, sometimes things happen, and people get sick. What happens when you worked endlessly on a project at work and you were proud of your accomplishment, but then a co-worker steps in and takes credit for your hard work. In a situation like this, you might feel anger, frustration, and or betrayed.

On an entirely different level, when we learn that someone close to us, such as a significant other, parent, child, or other family member betrays our trust, it hurts on a much deeper level. Even simply learning something new about someone we trusted and care about can be difficult for us to believe, especially when it is something surprising and not in a good way. Situations with people we are closest with can make us feel like our world has been turned upside down and inside out.

Before we have had a chance to make sense of any outside threats, our physiological responses acknowledge the negative situations. The physiological responses are our body’s automatic reactions to stimuli. The release of hormones, the rush of blood through our body and into our limbs, an increased heart rate, and accelerated breathing are all subconscious and out of our control. The only thing we do have control over is our breathing through using long and shallow exhales, which sends our body a message of safety and enables access to higher needed cognitive parts of our brain.

We are all only human and painful emotions are not easy to deal with. As humans, we are hard-wired to want to run as far away from pain as we can. It is in our instincts to try distracting ourselves from the pain in ways that bring pleasure, even if the pleasure is only short-lived. Unfortunately, this can lead us into devastating and disastrous behaviors to numb the pain we are experiencing. There are better and healthier alternatives to try, such as self-compassion practices that allow ways to embrace and understand the pain. This will provide you with a space to be silent and establish lost trust in a temporary safe place until you can understand things clearly.

It is important to carefully listen while your thoughts surface. It can be easy to attach yourself to your thoughts and let them run with their version of the events that took place. This is not going to be a useful thing to do because our minds will naturally find ways to confirm the way we are thinking and strengthen, instead of allowing healing. We must find a way to detach from the story being played out in our minds and be open to further truth and forgiveness.

No one can tell you how you should feel when someone you love lets you down. By practicing the tips shared in this post, you will be able to distance yourself from an emotional reaction and allow the wisdom within yourself to guide you to the best response. Of course, this does not mean you need to forgive or let go of what has occurred, at least not until you are ready to do so. Trust and listen to your heart and mind, as this will typically lead you down the right path.

Although I hope the information in this post was beneficial to you, I also hope you have not been let down too often. I understand how painful it is to be let down by someone you love, but in some way, it will make you a better and stronger person. I would love the chance to read what you thought of this post, and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can.

Thank you for visiting my site today and taking the time to read what I have written. I hope you are having a good week and you are continuing to stay safe. The good news about today is, we are almost to the weekend again. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Different types of Anger

Anger is an emotion that can touch anyone and everyone at some point in their life. This emotion can intrude on the mind and hearts of even the kindest of people and take control of their life. If not properly dealt with can become one of the unhealthiest types of emotions and destroy relationships. Even though it is toxic, anger is a normal reaction of hostility when there is a threat that another has intentionally or unintentionally wronged you.

There are many different types of anger that I am going to explain through this post. My hope is this can help to identify that type of anger you are experiencing, and it will provide an understanding of the source of your anger, and that will lead to learning ways to not only control the anger but manage it as well.

Out of all the different types of anger, assertive anger is thought to be a productive and healthier way of expression. Instead of avoiding the conversation and being susceptible to outbursts, assertive anger expresses frustrations to discover a positive change or resolution. This could be someone starting a conversation by saying, “I feel angry when or because…” This allows a person to explain their anger in a way that provides positive change instead of creating more negativity.

Destructive anger is a very unhealthy way of experiencing anger and comes with various negative impacts. This falls on the extreme side of behavioral anger. Destructive anger can appear as verbal or physical actions being used to hurt another person. A person might throw or break things that are valuable to the person they are angry with. This type of anger can negatively influence many areas of the person’s life and possibly destroy social connections and relationships.

Behavioral anger can become dangerous and be expressed with violence. This type of anger can lead to destructive anger and be common in men that already have anger issues. Behavioral anger is unpredictable and reckless, which can end with legal consequences. This type of anger can be displayed by intimidating behaviors, throwing, or breaking things, or attacking a person.

Chronic anger tends to be directed towards other people, situations, and yourself. This type of anger can have a profound impact on one’s self-esteem and while not always visible can create a lot of damage. Chronic anger resembles a continual, low amount of anger, resentment, irritation, and exasperation. Depending on how an individual experiences anger, it may be difficult to process and communicate your needs, which can negatively affect your health, levels of stress, and relationships.

Overwhelmed anger can build up over time, especially if you do not find ways to express your feelings. This anger is unpredictable and over time directly and negatively affects your mental health. Overwhelmed anger may show itself once you hit a breaking point, you lose your ability to cope, and the stress becomes too much to handle. This may look like a sudden snap of irritation and resentment that follows a long person of time repressing feelings.

Passive-aggressive anger is one of the most common and avoidable types of anger. The person experiencing this type of anger will express their negative feelings indirectly, instead of discussing them openly. This can be both mentally and physically draining, especially until you can address the way you are feeling. Passive-aggressive anger may also include repressing emotions and waiting to avoid conflicts. Even though the person feels angry and resentful, they will act neutral, pleasant, and happy. This type of anger can be displayed verbally or physically in ways such as silent treatment or sarcasm.

Retaliatory anger is a typical and instinctual reaction when someone feels they are being attacked. This is strongly manipulated by the desire for revenge after being hurt. This type of anger is consciously directed towards the person that wronged you and the need to gain control after an incident occurred. Retaliatory anger can force discomfort and outrage to escalate in relationships, which will only create more problems.

Silent anger is a non-verbal way to experience anger. This can be an internal and external experience. The internal way can be when anger manifests with non-communicated bitterness, resentment, and irritation. This can cause a tremendous amount of stress and tension. Externally, the anger may be displayed with closed off body language and facial expressions. Even though the anger has not been expressed verbally, people may be able to read your body language and know you are angry.

Thank you for visiting my site today. After reading about the different types of anger, were you able to decipher the type or types of anger you encounter? When you experience anger, how do you get it under better control. To be completely honest, I try to avoid feelings of anger, but then they do fester and make things so much more intense. I guess I would fall somewhere between silent and passive-aggressive anger. I hope the last few hours of the weekend are relaxing and help you to be ready for the new week starting tomorrow. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Random acts of violence

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to hear about violence taking place in the United States. Anytime we turn on the TV there is at least one, if not more awful things happening. We are constantly hearing about mass shootings, cops killing unarmed people (most often black men), or other acts of violence where innocent people are dying Some people have become desensitized to the various amount of hate-filled violence that occurs, which these acts cause others vast levels of distress and despair.

When you combine isolation due to COVID and feelings of despair from the violence taking place, the emotional impact can be extremely intense. Of course, working from home is great, but I do feel very isolated and like I am on house arrest a lot. Situations like what happened with George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Rayshard Brooks, and countless others murdered by those that are “supposed” to protect and serve, the police cause me to feel anxious and angry and I am not an angry person. The case against Derek Chauvin, the police officer who murdered George Floyd in Minneapolis had me on edge. When I watched the verdict being read it did give me a glimmer of hope, but there is still a lot that needs to be done.

The recent and senseless mass shootings that have occurred in the United States are heart-wrenching. The one on March 16, in Atlanta GA at 3 spas left 8 people dead, 6 of which were women of Asian descent. It has been stated this murder rampage was due to anti-Asian racism, which does not make any sense to me. These women were innocent and simply doing their job to take care of their families. Atlanta, GA is only about two and a half hours from where I live, but these acts can happen anywhere because the levels of hate and racist behavior are exceedingly high. I do not understand why some many Americans have any issue with people of Asian descent because these people are NOT doing anything wrong or causing any harm to anyone else.

Only six days later, on March 22 in Boulder, CO another gunman went on a shooting rampage at a supermarket. This incident left 10 innocent people who were at a grocery store picking up items needed dead. People that knew this 21-year-old gunman said he was prone to anger problems and his arrest record showed where he assaulted a classmate in 2017. It was obvious this person had issues, so why was something not done to help him?

Less than a month later on April 15 in Indianapolis, IN at a FedEx facility a gunman started shooting people in the parking lot before he continued his shooting spree inside the building. This mass shooting left 8 innocent people dead before the gunman turned the gun onto himself. Not to sound insensitive, but if the end result was taking his own life, why did he not just do that in the beginning and leave the innocent people he killed alive?

There are no motives to make sense of these tragic deaths or to make it easier for the 26 families that lost a loved one. Even though there is not anything we can do for those affected by these events, there are ways we can help ourselves to cope better.

We have all been dealing with the pandemic for over a year now, often fearing for our safety, as well as for those we love because this virus is deadly. Then adding mass amounts of violence can shake communities to their foundations. Whether you live in the United States or another country, how do these situations make you feel? Some of us may feel like we are in danger if we just go to the grocery store or other normal activities outside the home. Other common reactions may include numbness and shock, difficulty making decisions, anger, inability to turn off the images seen on the news, tension, anxiety, loss of appetite, headaches, disturbed sleep and bad dreams, and or worry about future mass violence events.

Just knowing about these traumatic situations can be emotionally draining and cause you to feel unstable with typical life challenges. Issues with work, ongoing issues with the pandemic, financial struggles, or just staying on top of our daily activities can feel overwhelming and stressful. Try being kinder, patient, and more understanding with yourself because you are not alone.

Urgent do not forget to take care of yourself. Everyone reacts to these situations differently. It does not matter if an act of violence occurred where you live or on the other side of the world because our mind and body can react as if it were much closer. The following eight tips are ways we can practice self-care.

1. Safeguard your body’s needs by focusing on eating healthy, get proper amounts of sleep, and spending time outdoors.

2. Stay active in ways you are comfortable with. There is no need to push yourself too far and causing any extra stress on your body.

3. Embrace relaxation exercises such as meditation and relaxing breathing techniques.

4. Maintain a consistent bedtime routine to help you relax at night.

5. Collect information regarding the available mental health services and support.

6. Avoid using alcohol and drugs to help you cope.

7. Take the necessary breaks from watching the news on TV and or social media.

8. Give your attention to things you enjoy such as listening to music, walking, writing, other types of arts and crafts.

I know this post was not very uplifting or positive, but these are real issues the world is facing, and they are upsetting me tremendously. I do not like being negative or angry but wanted to bring these issues to everyone’s attention. This was not to upset anyone or ruin your day, so please forgive me.

I want to thank you for visiting my site today and reading this post. I hope you are having a good week and continuing to stay safe! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tuesday Requires More Energy

Only Tuesday & It Has Already Been A Painful Week Emotionally!

How is it only Tuesday? It feels like it should at least be Thursday! Many things have occurred already for me that have been both physically and mentally painful. Stress always causes additional pain, but this is ridiculous. Of course, weather can also increase my physical pain and Mother Nature can’t decide if she wants to rain or be sunny, so it has been both within minutes of each other.

I have always been the type of person that thinks of everyone and anyone else long before myself. I will not lie to you and say I am trying to fix that about me because I am not. I am trying to eliminate stress as much as I can, but that is extremely challenging for me. Sometimes it seems like stress comes in several different storms and on many different levels of severity. I am not naive enough to think I can fix other people’s issues, but I cannot help trying to alleviate some of other people’s pain and heartache. Truthfully, it does not work and I know that will never change.

With all that said there is a beautiful quote I thought would be good to share with y’all. This might help y’all if you are having a difficult or frustrating week. Or it might just make you think about someone else that might need a little support and love from someone that cares! Sometimes while it is necessary to spread the love to others, it is also important to show yourself a little love as well! I would love to read your thoughts on this quote, please!

Thank you for taking the time to stop by my site today and read what I have wrote. I hope the quote I have shared with y’all will have some meaning to you and prove you with positive feelings. I hope your week is going well so far and truly hope you are continuing to stay safe. I hope you will never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Random thoughts Sunday!

As the weekend comes to an end…

Good evening y’all! How was your weekend? I hope you had a great and safe weekend! I will be honest, I did not do much over the weekend. I think y’all already know that I do my best to not leave the house because I am terrified of COVID-19 and unfortunately, the state I live in is not doing the best with new cases and deaths. I don’t even leave the house to go grocery shopping because hardly anyone wears a mask and NO ONE respects social distancing, which I find very irritating because I am HIGH RISK!

Considering I try not leaving the house, I have been ordering my groceries online and having them delivered. Last weekend, I did the same thing I always do with grocery shopping and had an awful experience. I try to never complain because the people doing the shopping for me are really doing me a favor and I would even say keep me safer. However, when I request to be contacted when the store does not have the product on my list in stock and not make substitutions on their own, that is what I expect. This always worked so well each of the four previous times I did the online ordering, but last weekend nothing went the way it was supposed to.

Even though last weekend did not go well, I ordered again online for delivery yesterday. The lady sent me a text when she started the shopping and when the store did not have what I requested and when she was done and on her way to my house. I thanked this lady, Norma many times. I even told her why I wasn’t going to stores. She told me she understood and that her mother has MS. I thanked her several times during the time she was shopping and she actually bought me a small flower arrangement. I was so shocked and wanted to share this with y’all. Norma restored my faith in good people in the south!

Honestly, I have spent several days wanting to write about something and couldn’t get the words out. It was driving me crazy because I had a few days without work and I wanted to be able to do what I enjoy doing, which is writing. I have been struggling with a few topics that have a lot of meaning to me, but that also comes with a terrible amount of anger. I have always been a kind, caring, and happy person and do not like being angry. What has been going on in the country I was born and raised in is terrible and very upsetting. Politics is frustrating and I know we all have our own opinions on it. It doesn’t matter if we are Republican or Democratic, what matters is fairness and treating people equally and with respect.

Something else that has been weighing heavily on my mind is this situation with Jeffrey Epstein (who is deceased) and Ghislaine Maxwell. The connections these awful people had are deep within the rich and powerful people of the world and that includes politicians. The awful things Epstein and Maxwell did to young girls was traumatizing and life-altering to them. NO child should ever see or experience what the young girls that were lured into Epstein’s circle did and anyone and everyone that was involved should pay the consequences to the fullest of the law. This is a very sensitive and difficult subject for me and it had caused me a lot of anger and sadness!

Normally, I hand write all my posts first and then type them. I know how insane that might sound, but it typically works for me. I feel more connected with what I am writing when I do it by hand, but I am doing this post by typing what I am thinking and not over thinking it like I tend to do, so I hope you can feel what I am writing as deeply as I do. I would really love to read your thoughts on this post and I promise to respond as quickly as I can.

I hope you enjoyed your weekend and you stayed safe! Have you ever noticed how long the work week can feel and then how short the weekends are? Granted I am enjoying my job and love that I get to work from home, especially considering COVID numbers are on a steady increase daily. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Feelings that have built up

Beware in advance, I want y’all to know this post is the most personal I have written and extremely emotional. It is also rather long, but not as long as at least one another post.

Everyone’s life unfolds in unique and often challenging ways. No matter how things appear on the outside, no one has the “picture perfect” life. Our lives are full of happy times and hard times, which might not be equal. When someone experiences something that is painfully difficult and they somehow overcome those times, others may not know how in the world they overcame such tragic times and they never ask. How many times have we been asked in life if there was anything we would change? I can recall countless times, but my answer will never change. Anything that occurred in life that was hard, I feel that I am strong because of the hardest times in life and therefore would not change anything at all.

How would you respond if I were to ask you, what would you change in your life if you could? Sure, there are probably hard times you might wish you did not encounter. If those hard times never happened, would you still be the person you are today? Maybe you would, but maybe you wouldn’t. I say this because things I went through in life, I don’t know if I would be who I am if those things didn’t happen.

2020 has been a difficult year so far and we do not know when or if things will improve. I want to believe that what the United States has witnessed will open everyone’s eyes to the state of our nation. We have NOT had ANY leadership over the past three and a half years. We have watched what feels like the fall of a country that was supposed to be “strong”, “fair”, and “equal”. The entire world was exposed to COVID-19 and most other countries acted in a way that protected the citizens when the United States acted late which caused hundreds of thousands of people to unnecessary lose their lives. There is no way to know if the government had acted sooner, those lives lost could have been saved, and sadly that is what these individual’s families must live with.

Unfortunately, there are still way too many people that believe the lies the president says and tweets. These are the same people that follow their “leaders” example and fail to wear masks when out in public and seem to not understand what is meant by social distancing. I guess it makes sense because we all saw the president and the crowd on the 4th of July close together possibly spreading the virus to one another and yet somehow magically neither the president nor vice president seems to get the virus. Y’all already know that I am terrified of the virus and I do have a weakened immune system because of the medication I take for Multiple Sclerosis.

I will say that finally, several states have made masks when out in public mandatory. Those that fail to comply with wearing masks will be fined. I hardly leave the house these days but did go to the pharmacy on Friday. They had in huge sign in bold letters saying that all customers entering the store must wear a mask or they will be asked to leave immediately.

It has also been made painfully clear that the United States has enormous problems with racial injustice and police killing unarmed black people. I am not naïve enough or blind to the fact that not all American’s are treated equally and it makes me feel shame for the country.

All my life I have always treated everyone the same and never judged anyone based on anything besides the way they treated others. I appreciate the beauty in the differences others show and find those distinctions fascinating. I think if we were all exactly the same, this world would be rather boring and we would miss out on some incredible opportunities.

We are already more than halfway through 2020. The news has put a lot of focus onto either COVID-19, politics, police brutality or the latest with the Epstein insanity. For starters, the United States knew about COVID-19 on January 20, 2020, but did not act on it until March. That left about a month and a half for the virus to spread throughout the country. How many months did the president say this highly contagious and deadly virus was a hoax or not that serious? The answer is just simply way too many and it should have been taken seriously starting back in January.

I am sure my feelings are pretty clear throughout this entire post. I am ashamed of how the country I was born and raised in has behaved for the past three and a half years and honestly probably many more. It will not come as a shock to anyone, but I am not and never have been a fan of Donald Trump. I think the way he blames everyone else for what has gone wrong in the world, how he disrespects everyone that disagrees with him and the media for doing their job, the revolting names he calls others, the way he refers to other countries “shit holes”, the way he has absolutely has no respect for the country he represents or the people living there, and so much more than just repulsive. This man cares so much about his pole numbers that rapidly dwindling and of course, he is blaming the democrats, when truthfully it is his own fault.

I think y’all know I always try my best to be optimistic and believe that positive thoughts will lead to a positive outcome. I also know how incredibly negative this post might seem, but these feelings have built up for a while now. I want to apologize if anything I have written was offensive to you and hope you know that was never my intent. I am a very sensitive person so hearing about the countless people that are dying daily because of COVID-19 breaks my heart and tend to have me in tears. Of course, I do not know any of the people that lost their lives to this virus, but they meant something to someone else.

I also have never been a political person and found most if not all politicians to be dishonest. Trump and Pence have proven my views of dishonest politicians. It is hard for me to understand how anyone could know about how many people have died because of a virus and how it would not affect them. It will never make sense to me how anyone that represents a country and not care about the people. How they sleep soundly at night is a mystery to me.

Since the news first broke about Jeffrey Epstein in 2005 it has made me sick. I then read a book by one of my favorite authors, James Patterson wrote about Epstein which made my feelings even more intense. After Epstein was arrested I thought that justice had been made for his victims.

Of course, he ended up committing suicide while in prison which could be viewed as a good thing, but it was an easy and selfish way out for him and his victims did not get to testify and feel the closure they may have needed. The latest with the Epstein situation was his long-term confidant and associate a female was arrested. This woman helped find Epstein young girls to become another victim and she also participated. Any woman that is capable of doing this kind of harm to a young and innocent girl is vile and appalling and should feel shame for the ways they ruined the child’s youth.

I do realize this might have not been the most positive thing I have written, but this is how I feel. Again, I am sorry if I have offended anyone reading this and hope I did not discourage you from reading future things I write.

This post was very personal and full of raw emotions. I do appreciate you taking the time to read and I encourage you to leave a comment, which I will respond to as quickly as I can.

Y’all know I am starting my new full-time, work from home job tomorrow and I plan to continue blogging as much as I can. No matter how busy I get I will continue doing Motivational Monday, Pick Me Up Thursday and Let It Go Friday! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Time for HUGE changes!

Just say “NO” to racism

I am writing this with tears of sadness in my eyes and anger for the inappropriate ways some individuals have and continue being mistreated around the world. More than anything I wish I could say that racism was unheard of and wasn’t something anyone had to encounter, but unfortunately I can’t. I highly doubt anyone will ever be able to explain to me how or why in a country CLAIMING to be FREE everyone isn’t treated equally. Why does the color of an individual’s skin determine the way they are treated and viewed in our society? No one ever will be able to do this because it is completely and totally ABSURD and WRONG!

The entire world has been amid to two pandemics, but only one is discussed openly. No one can deny the COVID-19 pandemic that has been going on for several months, but what about the racism pandemic that has plagued the lives of many for centuries?

I am starting with the most recent examples, but there are so many others I will also discuss throughout this post. Police brutality has existed long before the two recent situations of police killing innocent unarmed black people. Do you truly know what police brutality means? It means using excessive and or unnecessary force by personnel affiliated with law enforcement duties when dealing with suspects and civilians.

It wasn’t but 18 days before the four police officers in Minneapolis, MN killed an unarmed innocent black man, enraging people around the country, did another police officer in Atlanta, GA kill another unarmed innocent black man. After the riots that went on for weeks, I would have thought the police force would not continue following these unacceptable behaviors and treatment of black individuals. Maybe I was just fooling myself because I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I guess it is just me being naïve and wanting to see the good in people, but also thinking police officers want to serve and protect civilians. The unfortunate and clear truth about most police officers is, they are just uneducated, arrogant, and angry bullies with a shiny gun and badge that don’t think laws apply to them and they can get away with murder. This is something that should have already ended, but needs to come to an end immediately!

There are countless numbers of innocent black individuals who were killed by a police officer over the years. Considering there are so many, I am only going to discuss eight of these innocent people that lost their lives too soon and for no valid reason.

Going back six years on July 9, 2014, an unarmed black man whose name was Charles K. Goodridge in Houston, TX was shot and killed by an off-duty officer. This off-duty officer was working as a security guard at the apartment complex Goodridge had previously lived at. Goodridge had been evicted from this complex, which the police officer/security guard was aware of. So when he saw Goodridge in a common area he went back to his apartment to retrieve his gun and handcuffs. The police officer/security guard proceeded to hunt for Goodridge ready to arrest him for trespassing, but Goodridge resisted and tried to run away but was unfortunately shot in the process. Goodridge was left untreated or even offered first aid as he lay there on the ground bleeding from the two bullet wounds that penetrated his abdomen. At one point he tried lifting his head, but the officer using his foot pushed his head back down onto the pavement. After not getting medical attention on the scene and the hour wait to arrive at the hospital, he was pronounced dead at the hospital.

It was only 8 days later on July 17, 2014, when another unarmed black man was brutalized by a police officer. Eric Garner in Staton Island, NY was accused by a police officer of selling single cigarettes without tax stamps. Garner simply denied what he was accused of and told the officer he was tired of the constant harassment. The officer did not take kindly to this and began attempting to arrest Garner. Once the officer placed his hands on Garner, he pulled his arms away. At this time the officer thought it was necessary to put his arm around Garner’s neck and continued wrestling him to the ground. Multiple other officers joined in to assist with restraining Garner, while he reiterated three words, “I can’t breathe” 11 times as he laid face down on the sidewalk. Even after Garner lost consciousness the officers kept him in a chokehold and only turned him onto his side. While they waited 7 minutes for the ambulance to arrive, not one of the officers attempted to provide first aid to Garner. One hour later, Garner was sadly pronounced dead at a local hospital, which could have been avoided if only they tried to help him when he stated he couldn’t breathe.

Less than one month later in Ferguson, MI, an unarmed 18-year-old black man, Michael Brown Jr. was shot and killed by another police officer. Brown was walking down the street with a friend, both boys were unarmed and not causing any problems. Of course, the officer-involved stated he was acting in self-defense by choosing to fire his weapon several times. Brown’s friend that was there when his friend was killed has explained they were walking away from the officer after they were told to get off the streets, which they had explained they were a few moments from their destination. Brown’s friend said the officer came back towards them in his patrol car and after a few words tried pulling Brown into the car. Brown freed himself from the officer and started running away, when the officer exited his car, shooting his gun multiple times, which ended another innocent black man’s life.

On November 22, 2014, in Cleveland, OH a 12-year-old child, Tamir Rice was shot and killed by a police officer. Rice, being a young boy was outside playing and holding his toy gun acting like he was shooting it. The officers that first saw Rice were responding to a 911 call about a man flaunting a gun at a nearby park. Moments after the two responding officers saw the boy and say they didn’t know he was a child, but thought he was the man that was called into 911, one of the officers didn’t waste any time and fired two shots, one of which killed this little boy. Most young boys play with toy guns and aren’t aware of how some may view this as a threat. In my eyes, this was a heinous act that could have and should have been avoided. Sadly, Tamir Rice’s parents lost their child, and the officer that fired the fatal shot was not charged with criminal charges as he should have been.

On the morning of April 4, 2015, in North Charleston, SC, another unarmed black man was shot and killed by a police officer. Walter L. Scott was on his way to an auto parts store when he was pulled over for a non-functioning brake light. After the officer involved had finished talking with Scott and was going back to his patrol car, Scott exited the vehicle and started running away. It was at this time the officer began his chase on foot. Scott and the officer became involved in a physical altercation when the officer managed to fire his Taser, which did hit Scott, but he continued to try running away again. A few moments later the officer drew his handgun, firing eight rounds at Scott from behind. Scott was struck 5 times, 3 in his back, once in the upper buttocks, and once in the ear. This sounds like a perfect example of excessive force to me, what do you think?

Another incident that occurred recently was shortly before midnight on March 13, 2020, in Louisville, KY. Police claiming they knocked several times and announced themselves as they entered the apartment of a young black woman, Breonna Taylor to serve a “no-knock” search warrant regarding a tip they received regarding drug activity. When the police busted down the door, Taylor’s boyfriend thought the apartment had been broken into and went for his licensed firearm. Her boyfriend feared for both of their lives and was acting in self-defense when he fired the first shot that hit one of the officers involved in the leg. The officers then responded with their open fire of more than 20 rounds, which hit objects throughout the entire apartment, including Taylor at least 8 times. Taylor was sadly pronounced dead at the scene. Neighbors of Taylor spoke out saying they never heard the officers knock or announce themselves and they were also in fear. In this situation, not only did the officers NOT announce who they were, but they also killed another innocent black person and their reason for the search had no validity because there were no drugs found in the apartment.

I want to thank y’all for visiting my site today. I am sure it is obvious how upset I am about this entire situation. I spent most of my life blind to these issues of police brutality and now want to do more or at least something to end this! I am very aware the people I mentioned in this post are only a few and there are many others that experienced police brutality and sadly lost their lives.There comes a time when change is a necessary thing and it takes many people demanding these changes for something to actually get done. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Ways to not allow the past to destroy the future!

One thing we all undoubtedly have in common is we all have a past. There could be parts that make us feel stronger, happier, and more thankful. Other parts of our past may make us feel sadness, pain, and regret. Regardless of any emotions felt from the past it is important we continue moving forward with our lives and not allow for the past to devastate any part of the happy future we all deserve.

Do you have any past experiences or memories that still haunt you to this day? Are there any past experiences, good or bad, that shaped the way you view the world today?

Many people do not truly understand how much negative experiences affect them. Those that had an unfair and difficult childhood to being involved in a violent and abusive relationship to being hurt in other ways can leave scars on the mind and emotional well-being throughout one’s life if the problems are not addressed.

I am going to share some tips that I hope will be beneficial and lead you towards a happier and healthier life and way from allowing anything to contaminate your happy and bright future.

1. For reasons that are unknown to me, traumatic experiences are often disregarded as being a source of negative changes. Anyone that has dealt with a traumatic experience and recognized it could understand having some negative changes. I guess the big difference is some people that went through a traumatic experience never recognized it as such and how it negatively impacted them.

There are numerous opinions and definitions regarding trauma, but they do mainly focus on experiences threatening the sanity, bodily morals, or life. These experiences can include child abuse, abandonment, loss of a loved one, car accidents, having been a victim of a crime, abuse of any kind, near-death experience, being a witness of something horrendous, and so much more.Considering we are different we will all respond differently to traumatic experiences. Some people might lean on various substances to handle the issues and others may cope in less noticeable ways. Coping mechanisms are not always healthy, but hopefully, they will only be utilized for the short-term.

2. Trust is a very delicate and intricate topic. Trust involves having a certain level of vulnerableness to the person we desire to trust. It can become challenging when someone from the past has violated the trust we have instilled in them. Anytime we are hurt, it is our human nature to want to put up walls to protect ourselves from any further harm. Once we have experienced the hurt from someone that broke our trust, it can be hard to let another person in because we want to have control over what happens to us in our life.

The biggest problem with trust is it does require us to be vulnerable. No matter how much we read about who we should avoid or how to detect liars and manipulators it typically ends up being through attempting educated guesses and believing in our intuition.

3. Regret can cheat us from happiness if we remain focused on past errors made or wishing things were done differently. Regrets can also be with situations when everything was done correctly, but things still did not work out. In these scenarios, it will be best to think slightly differently. There does come a point we need to make decisions that stop allowing regret to control us and we start enjoying life in the present, but also work towards a greater future.

4. The only thing a history of past failures does is nourish depression and low self-esteem. It is only those that are very fortunate and try something new without any problems their first time. The vast majority of people, who succeed with attempting something, will fail, but use their new knowledge and try again.

5. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be many places we can go and not come across anger, justified or not. The complication with anger is it can be toxic damaging all the positive things in life

Anger builds walls and boundaries that can become inconceivable to conquer because we are consumed with the way we are feeling. When people are angry they care far less about listening for a solution and more about having their feelings heard and validated.

We are not able to hold onto anger endlessly because it will gradually destroy our mental and emotional well-being. There does come a point we need to learn anger is counterproductive. It can work as a spark, but anger alone isn’t able to do the work needed to make a change.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I do always appreciate your continued support and truly enjoy reading your comments. I will never make comments mandatory, but I do encourage them because your thoughts are meaningful and I think beneficial to everyone reading. I hope your week has started off well and you are continuing to remain safe with this virus looming over us all. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa