How do you describe?

HOPE 2.0How do you describe the pain you are in when it can be SO indescribable at times? Living each day with an incredible amount of pain definitely gets a little old, but it also leaves no choice except to keep moving forward. Dwelling on the pain does not make it go away, but I do believe makes it SO much more intense. On my worse days, I do my very best to just keep my mind busy so I am not thinking about the pain I am feeling. It really seems like the moment I stop doing something all I can think about is how much I am hurting, whereas if I just stay busy I do not have time to allow myself to really feel it. I do understand that rest is important, especially when the pain levels are high, but at the same time rest makes me think too much and then I hurt more! I guess it can really be a no win battle between me and my pain, but I do not ever want it to defeat me entirely!

I think everyone that battles with pain issues handles them differently; we all just need a way to manage and escape at times! Do you struggle with pain and how do you handle it? Today for instances my pain is pretty darn high, so this morning I watched a little TV and then did laundry. I did not do anything too strenuous as that would probably cause painful daysme to hurt even more. Normally I would go grocery shopping, but thankfully NOT today!! When I am trying to keep my mind busy to avoid thinking about my pain I often will read a good book or write because both of those things keep me relaxed! I thought for a long time about what I wanted to write about and honestly had a little bit of writers block, but then decided I should write about what I was feeling. I am guessing that many of you can relate to this painful topic and I really wish none of us could!

So on top of dealing with my normal pain, I have been battling with terrible migraines that just will not let up! I went to bed last night with a migraine and woke up with it still with me. I guess I was hoping I could sleep it away, I hate to admit it but I was wrong! pain changes peopleThankfully right now it has finally started to ease up and now it is just a mild little headache that I can handle. I never thought I would say this but the pain I have daily is so much easier to live with than migraines I have been struggling with ALL week! Even though I know I can’t, but if I could choose I would much rather have my back and legs hurt a lot worse than to have a migraine.

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I really do appreciate you taking the time to read and do encourage you to leave a comment, which I promise to respond to as quickly as I can! I truly do love your comments and they are always very helpful! I hope your weekend is going well and you are feeling as great as you possibly can! We all deserve a restful and peaceful weekend! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of❤ love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Half way there!

wednesday.jpgGood afternoon y’all!  I hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday! I am beyond excited that this week is almost over and next week is a four-day work week because of the holiday! 

I have honestly had kind of difficult week dealing with pain issues! There is a certain amount of pain that I find tolerable, but then there is another kind that makes me feel absolutely miserable and incredibly fatigued! Even though I have been dealing with a terrible amount of pain that is mixed with headaches and muscle spasms, I have been able to go to work. I did not make it through six hours Monday and Tuesday, but I did today! Of course after whatever hours I do work, I come home and I am absolutely exhausted. But the simple achievements are better than none! There has been another issue I have experienced this week and I have no idea what is causing it. Both Monday and Tuesday while sitting at my desk at work, I had several what seemed to be fainting episodes. It was really scary, but I was thankful I was sitting down. I did call my doctor’s office to let them know about this, but not so surprising they did not call me back. Have any of you ever experienced this before?

I am a pretty resilient person and I never give up on the goals I have for myself!! A while back I had made the goal to work six hours each day, which honestly did not happen at first. However I did not allow that to keep me down for too long  and tried to not view it as failure. I have always been veryresilience1 hard on myself, but seriously that does not help at all. Being too hard on ourselves only sets us up for hard times, which is never good. My goal now is to just continue to always be resilient and keep moving forward! 

I have to say everyone on this blog helps me see the strength I have and keeps me focused on that strength! There are so many incredible people who I have had the pleasure to get to know and I am very thankful for this. There really seems to be so much ugliness in the world today, but y’all allow me to see the good in others!

I hope y’all had a great day and I hope you are feeling well. Thank you for stopping by my site today and I really do encourage your comments. Y’all already know that I do respond as quickly as I possibly can! I hope you have a lovely evening and do what helps you relax! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Lesion Party

discouraging.jpgFor the past few weeks it seems that the issues I have had with my legs, arms and back has increased drastically! Now like most of us I was curious as to what could be causing this increase of pain, tingling, burning sensation and pins and needles, so I looked it up on Google. Oh my word looking things up online is almost worse than dealing with what the doctors have to say! Honestly the main reason why what I read online was disturbing is because it was pretty close to what I already suspected, but there really is something about reading it that makes it a little more upsetting.

It has been in my overworked and mildly stressed mind for weeks now that these issues are being caused from new lesions or those that were already present are active now. It shut down the partydoes not seem to matter if I am resting or moving around, the pain does not just go away! This possible lesion party that is going on in my body needs to be shut down! This party is more like a hostile takeover of my ability to live pain-free rather than a happy time with friends having fun like most parties are!

With all of the different issues I have been fighting with for far too long and keeping it from my doctor, today I finally have had enough and sent a message to my doctor to see her recommendations would be. Y’all already know that I completed paperwork last week to hopefully receive MRI assistance, as I do realize that is what is going to be needed, but I am still waiting to hear back about that. Do you just wish these doctors could hear what we are going through, make a true educated assessment and not have to go through the MRI ordeals? I personally think what we are suffering with could be something a true and competent specialist could easily figure out what is causing it and diagnosis the issue.

With all the said, I ended up staying out of work today because of how I was feeling. Even though my legs did not feel stable enough, I did get up when my alarm went off this morning  and made an attempt to try getting ready for work. However, when the short distance from ribbon-e1528247275292.jpgour room to the bathroom felt like 10 miles, I knew anything more would be too hard on my broken body. Crazy thing is I did rest all weekend, but it did not help at all! It really seems like rest hurts, moving hurts and basically anything I do is painful so what do you do when that happens?

I certainly hope y’all had a good start to the week and I hope you are feeling well. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my site today and your comments are always appreciated and encouraged. It may take me a little longer to respond just because it is a difficult day, but I promise I will respond! As always, no matter what I am going through I am sending y’all LOTS of love and comfort!

Love

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Does pain cause you to be angry?

Good morningGood morning y’all and happy Wednesday! Thank goodness we are half way until the weekend is back! Are you having a good short week? When my office is closed on Monday, don’t get me wrong I love the day off, but I end up confusing the rest of the days of the week and being a day behind! Heck Tuesday morning I thought it was Monday, but I was thrilled to find out when I got to work it was Tuesday! I guess that is one of lives many pleasures! During a normal week, my mind is always a day ahead of time, so usually disappointed! 

Anger, pain and depression are three negative experiences that are bonded so closely together it can almost be impossible to know when one of these feelings ends and another begins. Pain can impact our emotions so deeply, producing a wide range of emotions from sadness, to anger to possibly rage! The feelings of anger are so often anger and painmisinterpreted as hostility because others may not understand what we are dealing with at any given time.

Anger can actually be a motivating force to put things into action, instead of just being all talk and complaints. For instances, when we are dealing with an insurance company and all the many hurdles to get through, just to get a needed procedure. Or even when trying to get our doctor to listen to our requests and not just pushing our needs to the side so they can move onto their next patient.

There are numerous physiological effects we can have from anger. Anger can be felt in our chest, head and the entire body! This could mean that the anger we feel increases the pain already felt, which makes so much sense to me. I started writing this because I have been dealing with SO much pain lately in my EmilysQuotes.Com-anger-pain-negative-sad-Eckhart-Tollelegs, back, arms and head and that pain is causing me so much frustration which quickly changes to ANGER! Logically, I know that being angry with my pain is not going to solve anything, but it just keeps happening without fail! I am typically a very calm and ❤caring person, but lately I feel like I am losing my temper so much faster and a lot easier! Today I had a co-worker, who let me just say has already made some really negative comments about me in the past, stop me to ask if I was okay because I seemed to not be walking as she thought would be “normal”. Considering my legs have been in a lot of pain lately, I do walk a little slower and refrain from using my right leg when I can, but pointing that out was not necessary. Could she have been being caring? Probably not! But I was hateful with my response when I said “I am fine!”! She had to push the issue a little further causing me to say once again, “I am FINE”, with a lot more force before walking away. Was I wrong in my reaction? Or was it the pain and frustration talking? Who can really say? But I do not feel like I was wrong and I do think it was the pain and frustration talking!

Do you personally find when you are in pain you have less patience for dealing with pain and angerothers? If so, how do you control your emotions and remain pleasant to others? I know I sometimes am shorter with my poor husband❤ and he  does not deserves that at all, but he also knows that is not me and I do not mean to be short with him. However, I still will feel bad about my less than ❤sweet attitude! I guess the vows are hold true, but maybe we should have added, with attitude and not as well!

Thank y’all for taking the time to visit my site today! I always appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and I really love to read your comments, which I will always respond to as quickly as I can! I hope you have a great day pain-free day! Please never forget that I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort always!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

My Letter to Multiple Sclerosis

Good Morning

Good morning Y’all! I hope you are having a great weekend so far and you will be able to enjoy your Sunday! After all the topics I have been able to address, I managed to forget one of the most important topics. While reading several different blogging forums, I thought it would be a good idea to address the thing that brought me to blogging in the first place, my Multiple Sclerosis. So today I am going to share with you the letter I would love to send to this illness. This might be a little longer and full of emotions, but it is also very real! I hope you enjoy this! Maybe this could be something for you to try, write a letter to your illness!

Dear my not so loving friend Multiple Sclerosis,

You invaded my body about 18 years ago and just stuck with me without fail. We have been through many relapses together over the years; all the while you tried to defeat me. But let’s face it, I will not surrender to your persistent bad behaviors and will not allowms 3 you to keep me down for too long.  

In the beginning of our “so-called friendship”❤, you tried to take my vision from me, which let me just say was not a good way to become the lifelong friends we were forced to be!! Of course it took a little help from the not so exciting steroids, but my vision thankfully returned to normal! You have tried over and over again throughout the years to take control of my legs by causing me so much pain and numbness, but I am still able to walk without the assistance of what I think you were aiming for. You have caused me so much pain and suffering for way too many years, but I still continue to fight back with all my might because I never plan to give up and allow you to control my life! The truth is, you are the one losing our constant battle and I am shockingly enough the one winning the war!

Let us not forget the fact that you have chosen to take up to residence in my brain causing many other issues for me! There are the several times a week debiting only choice we haveheadaches which normally end to severe nausea. The headaches you decided to inflict me with make it nearly impossible to do anything at all! It was also decided by YOU to cause some brain fog and dizziness, making me feel confused and frustrated. The horrible back, neck and leg pain is more than enough for me to live with, don’t you think? Please get out of my brain because you are being EVICTED IMMEDIATELY!

I bet you thought you were being clever by giving me hugs every now and then! Well I do not like or appreciate your unwelcome hugs! So in the future, please do not do that! Just in case you did not already know, your hugs are very painful!

I guess during the 18 years we have spent together, you have become the ❤friend that I never asked for or wanted and you just will not go way to give me a break. You are pretty much worse than the most obnoxious uninvited guest that will NOT LEAVE no matter how many hints you are given! The only thing I can do now is just embrace the fact that you are just here for the long haul and will surface whenever you please without so much as a warning which let’s face it is really inconsiderate! 

Oh and what about all those different medications you want me to take? Do you not realize just how much some of these medications can and do affect a person’s body or do you just not care? Why must you be so complicated that the smartest minds of the world can’t seem to find a way to make you vanish? They sure can create so many drugs to “slow” the progression of the illness down but not make the illness stay in a remission Get MS montage plate picstate FOREVER! I am starting to think that you, the malicious drug companies and the not so compassionate greedy insurance companies are working closely together to do nothing more but make LOTS OF MONEY yourselves!

So my dear not so sweet friend MS, now that you have heard a little from me about how you make me feel, when are you going to move out of my body allowing me to be free of you? I think it is long since time to depart from each other!

Thank y’all for visiting my site today❤! I really hope you enjoyed reading the letter I would love❤ to be able to send off to Multiple Sclerosis. Of course I would love to read your thoughts on this, so please let a comment for me and I will respond as quickly as I can. I really hope you are feeling well today and can enjoy your Sunday! As always remember that I am sending you  LOTS of love💞 and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Disability or NOT?

Disability-bannerThere are many people out there that qualify and truly need to be put on disability and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. When someone makes the decision that they are not able to work any longer and their doctor agrees with them, then you just know it is the right time for taking that route in life. Do some people actually take advantage of this? Absolutely and that is just really sad and an insult to those that do need disability! No one can really be pushed or forced to file for disability as it is a very involved process and does require a lot!

Disability does not have to be permanent, but you must be totally disabled as is defined by the Social Security Administration. The Social Security Administration (SSR) actually anticipates that the condition can improve at any point in time! Aren’t they thoughtful and optimistic? Therefore this requires those that were awarded benefits to participate in a process called Continuing Disability Review (CDR). The reason for CDR is to determine if there have been any improvements in the claimant’s medical or financial circumstances. All approved claims are subject to “diary review dates” after one, three and seven years. Now this does depend on the condition the disability was awarded for and the probability for improvement. All that is required to avoid interruption in disabilitydisability benefits is medical documentation that the claimant still suffers from the impairment the disability was originally awarded for and that there have not been any improvements.

The SSR tries to make this process a little easier for those filing, so their list of impairments are broken down by bodily systems or functions:

  • Musculoskeletal Problems:
    • Back conditions and other dysfunctions of the joints and bones
  • Senses and Speech Issues:
    • Vision and hearing loss
  • Cardiovascular Conditions:
    • Chronic Heart Failure
    • Coronary Artery Disease
  • Digestive Trace Problems:
    • Liver Disease
    • Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBS)
  • Neurological Disorders:
    • Multiple Sclerosis
    • Cerebral Palsy
    • Parkinson’s Disease
    • Epilepsy
  • Blood Disorders:
    • Sickle Cell Disease
    • Hemophilia
  • Mental Disorders:
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Schizophrenia
    • Autism
    • Intellectual Disability

The medical evidence that needs to be shown must be recent and encompass the time period when the disability started to present is:

  • Physical Examination
  • Treatment notes or reports
  • MRI (depending on illness)
  • CAT Scan (depending on illness)
  • X-ray (depending on illness)
  • Mental Health Notes
  • Blood work notes

 

If I am being realistic and logical, I know that living with a chronic illness disability may be involved in my life at some point. I mean heck, I know the Multiple Sclerosis is not Montelgoing to magically disappear😿, but I do not have to own this until it is absolutely necessary, which is not right now❤!! I believe if I continue living my life in the best way possible, control my stress (which we all know I am really bad at), and take the medication that is best for my body chemistry, I am doing all I am able to control the progression of this illness💞! I am only 36 years old and have been living with this illness for almost 18 years, besides the constant pain I deal with; I think I am doing rather well! As you can probably tell it really bothers😿 me when people make the suggestion I go on disability. It has happened way too many times just because people know what I live with, but they really do not know how it affects me. I do my very best to hide my feelings of pain, however people make assumptions! I do not disagree with anyone that is on disability, but I am so darn stubborn and even if my body might be ready, I am not emotionally😿 ready to take that step.

I really want to thank y’all for reading my rant today❤! This was suggested to me today and as you can tell it did not sit well with me😿! I am not going to say that I will not ever file for disability, but at this point in my life I am not ready as I feel I am still able to disability_is_not_inabilitywork, even if I am not working full-time right now. My working pretty much part-time hours is just the right now, in a few more weeks or months even I might be fully capable of doing those long full-time hours again. 

I hope y’all had a good day! Thank goodness we are half way through the week and the weekend is coming!! Of course I appreciate and even encourage your comments as I promise to respond as quickly as I can! I hope y’all have a wonderful and relaxing evening. As always I am sending y’all LOTS of❤ love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

How does humidity affect Multiple Sclerosis?

Have a wonderful dayGood morning Y’all! We thankfully made it through another Monday and now we are on to having a happy Tuesday! I hope your week is going well so far and you are feeling as good as you possibly can!

As y’all can probably tell, I live in the south and down here I swear we only have two maybe two and a half season, all of which are pretty warm! Now that it is “spring”, but really the weather feels more like ☀summer, it is always either HOT ☀or HOT and RAINY🌧! I know all the doctors say that heat is the worst thing for those with MS, but honestly I use a heating pad for the majority of the day and do perfectly fine for the most part when I get to go to my happiest place the beach🏖! I feel strongly that the brutal humidity is WAY worse for me than any hot temperatures I have experienced! Not only does the nasty humid air cause my hair to do wild things, it trump-bad-hair-day-e1436799992357also makes me feel absolutely terrible including SO much additional fatigue! This picture is how I feel like my hair looks on the humid days! Pretty tragic, isn’t it??! I am sorry to bring him into this, but it seemed to fit perfectly when talking about hair doing crazy things!

Many people with Multiple Sclerosis do experience a worsening of their symptoms when the weather is either hot or humid. The elevated ms and humiditytemperatures impairs the ability of the demyelinated nerves to conduct electrical impulses. The good thing is though, the adverse effects of temperatures and humidity are typically a temporary issue and will get better once you are cooler off. However, the bad news is it can and does take longer to recover from these issues if your body gets overheated. There is always that annoying good news bad news scenario! This time of year, that lasts about 10 months is really quite frustrating for me, but I always make it through!!

How do y’all deal with humidity and heat? Does it have an adverse affect on your health? Do you have any good tips that work well for you? I have heard the normal tips, like avoid extreme temperatures, which is pretty impossible when living in the🌻 south. But, I have also heard about cooling vests, which I honestly have not tried yet. Also the obvious, stay inside with air conditioning but staying hydrated is extremely important as well! This actually helps me drink more water, as normally I really do not. I know that is not a good thing, but I have never been the best at drinking water. 

Thank y’all for visiting my site! I always appreciate you taking the time to read and I LOVE your comments as well, which I will definitely respond to as quickly as I can! Please always remember that I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love & comfort! 

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤