Thoughts out of the blue

Out of the blue and for no reason at all, I started thinking about a life-altering event I went through. This is not something I dwell on because I have very little control over it and it would be a waste of time to overthink it. It has been more than 20 years since I heard my doctor tell me that I had Multiple Sclerosis. I was still so young, very ignorant of what this meant for my life, and fears of how many challenges I would be forced to endure. Of course, I did hear the words the doctor spoke to me on the day he broke the news to me, but it took me a while to accept what he said to me. I tried my best to fight him and tell him he was wrong, but that was fighting a battle I had no chance of winning. After several months, I chose to accept it, but also to never surrender because I do believe in the power of the mind and that positive thoughts produce positive outcomes.

All those years ago, I was terrified that I would not be able to live a normal life. Nowadays, I wonder what is normal because for me it is constant pain and frustration with a disease without a cure. I feared that I would lose the ability to walk and take care of myself, which would have been extremely hard for me because I am a very independent person and never want to rely on anyone for anything. It has been approximately 20 ½ years, 7,488 days, 179,703 hours, and 10,782,180 minutes (give or take) and I am still here. I am walking and taking care of myself and my husband, and my three cats. There have been many obstacles through the years, but I have always remained determined to not allow this illness to defeat me.

Over all the years, I have learned more than I ever wanted to about Multiple Sclerosis and as crazy as this sounds, it has taught me a lot. I have learned how to discover a strength that I never imagined having. I have learned how being determined can help me to survive the most challenging situations. I now understand how powerful resilience is and the many ways it can help us to persevere, even when we feel like hope is lost. I have learned just how a positive mind can make a HUGE difference in our daily life.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that I do not dwell on things I have little control over. I do understand that even though I have little control over Multiple Sclerosis, I can control how much I allow it to bring me down and to feel helpless. I do have control over my mind, and I can tell myself that I am stronger than this unpredictable illness. Most importantly, I can remind myself that I did nothing to cause this illness to continue to plague my life. I will continue to keep the promise I made to my late grandfather shortly after I was diagnosed to continue to fight the battle until I win the war against Multiple Sclerosis.

Unfortunately, we all have something we must live with, and we all have a choice in how we approach things. I am thankful the doctor caught the Multiple Sclerosis early because if he did not, I can only imagine how much worst things would be for me today. I will always have a special place in my heart for my first Neurologist and his Nurse Practitioner because they were an amazing team that never lost hope in me. I am thankful that I have learned to not feel any shame because of what I live with.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared today and that in some way, it resonates with you and helps you to understand your strength. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and remaining as safe as possible. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

One day down, four to go….

Hello Tuesday! Although I am not sure how we managed to survive Monday. How did your week start? The first part of yesterday was not bad at all, I actually received praise from a customer. I think we can all agree, that getting a compliment at work is rare because so many people tend to complain instead. That was the highlight of yesterday and then it went downhill rather fast. Honestly, I think I was overwhelmed and it should never have gone that way. Too much was being put on my plate and I found out this was NOT supposed to happen. I know everything happens for a reason, but I never question things at work and I should have much sooner!

We did make it through the first day of the week and we have four to go before the long weekend, so I think we need to help one another. It can be easy to think of everything that can and has gone wrong in life, but we need to focus on all the great things in our life that have gone great! Yes, I know it can be hard because there are so many awful things we must experience in this life, but good things come to those who wait and are patient, and resilient. We are all strong, determined, intelligent, and deserving of amazing things in our life, so we must never surrender!

I hope your week is going well so far and you found meaning in the quote I have shared with you. The rest of the week will be brighter than Monday, as it always is. Monday’s are one of the most dreaded days of the week, but that is in the past now. It is funny how much most people hate Monday, but we know they will always return and maybe we should learn to embrace them more. Yeah right! That probably will never happen because I do not think I will ever have the willpower to embrace a Monday, but I guess we just try our best.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and I look forward to reading your comments. I promise to respond to all of your comments as quickly as I can. No matter how challenging the week might seem, remember nothing is permanent and the days will go by! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

TGIF

Life is not always perfect, and it is impossible to be happy all the time, but we do have the power to make changes when necessary. Complaining about things in life we are unhappy with is NEVER going to change things for the better. Sometimes we need to implement the changes we NEED in our life. The problems we encounter are NOT going to fix themselves and will only get worst. We spend most of our time at work, so if we are miserable in our job, it might be time to start looking for something different where we are not miserable for eight hours a day, five days a week.

Work is not always fun, but it can be fulfilling and semi-enjoyable. I have always enjoyed working with people and find “some” of them interesting. However, more and more I am finding the way people behave and treat others disturbing and offensive. I treat people the way I would want to be treated and try my best to understand their outlook on things and what they might be going through. The way things have been in recent times, I have a new view on this. Unfortunately, so many people are selfish and do not care how their tone, verbiage, and treatment affect others.

Changing jobs is extremely frustrating and challenging. It takes persistence and perseverance. Numerous job search sites are available. The most popular and user-friendly are https://www.linkedin.comhttps://www.indeed.com/https://www.monster.com/, and https://www.glassdoor.com/. I am sure there are many more out there, but I am not familiar with any others. A quick and simple google search can bring up others if you are looking for another job. 

We are only offered one life and there is no way to rewind, pause, repeat, or fast-forward. If there is anything you are not completely happy or content with, it is time for a change. This can be in a job, relationship, where you live, what you do for enjoyment or anything else involved in your life. Of course, change is never easy, but it can be accomplished with strength and determination. 

Relationships whether they are romantic, friendship, colleagues, or family can be complicated. All relationships require strong and open communication. Without being able to be open and honest, a relationship will fail quickly. It is also important to never hide anything from your life partner. When people hide things from the person, they are building a life with, there will only be unnecessary complications. We should not feel like we need to hide anything because we are already being open and honest, so there should not be anything to hide, right?

I am not complaining about my job, but I am unhappy with the way things have been. The training missed many things we needed to know and now everyone is so overwhelmingly busy, that no one has time to help those that are newer. I have always been a perfectionist with my work and hate making mistakes. Therefore, I take a massive number of notes because I want something to reference when I am unsure. There have been several people that I work with currently that are amazing and helpful, but then there are others that talk or email in a demeaning and discouraging way. I think some people forgot what it was like to be new and learn an entirely new industry.

I think part of the reason I have felt so irritable lately is that it is WAY too hot! The heat causes many of my MS symptoms to be aggravated and intensified. It is only May, and the temperature has already been in the high 90s. I do not even want to know how hot it is going to get when it is summer. Living in the south and still waiting to get central air has been troublesome and infuriating. I do enjoy summer, but only when I am at the beach because the ocean breeze counteracts the insane heat. I mean who in their right mind wants to be out when the temperatures are so high? No sane person! 

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed this post, and the information was beneficial. It is finally Friday, and we now have the weekend to look forward to. We can let of the negative feelings the week caused us. There is no point carrying those negative feelings into our weekend when we know anything we were dealing with this week will probably still be waiting for us on Monday. I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

End of weekend thoughts

I hope you had a nice weekend and you are staying safe. I have been thinking a lot over this last week and there have been many times when I felt discouraged and even useless. I do know this is not a good way to think, so I am trying to improve my thoughts, not myself. This quote has shown me hope and how to be patient with myself and my job search. I know as long as I do not stop trying, I am not failing!

The truth is, I am proud of the person I am and know that I do deserve to be treated with respect because that is the way I treat everyone else. The things I know about myself and I am most proud of is, I am determined, strong, kind, compassionate, empathic, and most of all resilient! This may have been a last minute idea to do for a post, but I feel good about it and hope you enjoyed it!

Always, Alyssa

What is resilience and why is it important?

Resilience comes in various ways that we might not understand. Unfortunately, there have been many times in life, previously or recently, we have endured challenging times that require resilience we did not realize we have. You might not have been anywhere near New York City when the tragic events of September 11, 2001, occurred but it was a devastation that was felt around the world. Some survivors were on the ground dealing with the rubbles and some that were possibly in the building or nearby buildings seeing what took place. Even after withstanding the deadly tragedies of this day, those that faced them have managed to find joy through the darkness of their losses.

Resilience is the ability to recover from difficulties quickly. There are four types of resilience we have which include physically, mentally/psychologically, emotionally, and socially. All of these are demanding and not necessarily skills that we are born with or know we possess, but there are ways we can build on them. I will explain each type to provide a little clarification.

Physical resilience is a situational problem that can be improved upon. This refers to our body’s ability to adjust to challenges, maintain our strength, and the potential to recover efficiently. This is a person’s ability to recover or be able to function when faced with illness, an accident, or another type of physical demand. This is something that is refined by endurance exercise, flexibility, balance, maintaining a healthy diet, and resistance training.

Mental or psychological resilience is having the ability to either cope mentally or emotionally with hardships, stress, emotional challenges, and mental health distress. This type of resilience is critical because it provides people with the strength needed to process and defeat misfortunes or afflictions. Those that do not have mental resilience may become easily overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Emotional resilience can be linked with mental/psychological resilience. This is related to a person’s ability to adjust to stressful situations or dilemmas. Those individuals that have this type of resilience can “roll with the punches” and adapt to any challenges they are faced with. Unfortunately, people that lack emotional resilience often find minor or major ordeals difficult to handle.

Lastly, social resilience is regarding social bodies and the person’s abilities to adjust, tolerate, absorb, and cope with environmental and or social threats. This is important for us, so we have healthy and social connections that help make stronger people and communities that can withstand, manage, and recover from tragedies.

It is important in life to be resilient because it can protect us from several mental health conditions, which include depression and anxiety. Resilience can enhance our abilities to cope with various difficulties that could arise. The following are some tips that can help to improve our resilience.

Be connected: We should try to build strong and positive relationships. The relationships we build can be with both family and friends and can supply us with the necessary support and acceptance through good and bad times.

Make sure every day is meaningful: When we try doing something each day that gives us a sense of accomplishment, it provides purpose for the day. Setting achievable goals for the day will help us look forward to a meaningful future.

Remember & learn from experience: Think about the ways you coped with difficult times in the past and what this taught you. The previous ways you used to cope, did they help, and if not did you consider altering them? It might help to write about a past difficult experience and identify your positive and negative patterns. This can help to guide you through future hard times and how you handle them.

Continue to be hopeful: Understand that you cannot change the past, but you can look forward to the future. Accept and expect changes because it will make adapting easier. This can also help to make challenges more of an opportunity and less an obstacle, and with less anxiety.

Do not forget yourself: Remember to pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Do things that bring joy to your life, like participating in activities and or hobbies that you enjoy. Try to include physical activity in your daily routine. It is also vital to get plenty of sleep, maintain a healthy diet, and practice stress management and relaxation techniques.

Be proactive, instead of reactive: I understand it is not always easy, but do not ignore your problems. It is far better and healthier to embrace problems and figure out how to eliminate the problem or problems in your life. Decide and then act on your plan. It does take time to recover from setbacks, even when they are minor. Nothing ever happens immediately, but the situation can improve if you are willing to work on it.

First, I want to thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information I have shared about resilience was interesting and useful for you. Second, I am very interested in reading what you thought about this post, and I will respond to all your comments as quickly as I can which might be after I am done with work, but I will do what I can!

We have made it through one day of this week and have a four more to go, which I think can do! I am hoping that your week has started well and will only get better until we finally make it until Friday! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Challenges with Multiple Sclerosis

I think y’all already know that I have had Multiple Sclerosis for over 20 years and for the most part I am still going strong. Honestly, some days are worse than others and most issues are triggered by either the weather or stress. I do not like having a pity party but wanted to quickly explain what I think are some of the most challenging aspects that come with this illness. Thankfully, over the years I have been able to get a much clearer understanding of what MS is and what it can do to a person. Crazy as this might sound, this has been good because when I was diagnosed, I was very ignorant to this illness and had an immature mind, but I was young and that is my excuse for my childlike thought process.

Of course, I do know it could always be worse and I am thankful it is not any worse than it is, but that does not mean it is not challenging and frustrating. The issues I am going to explain are not in order because I cannot say one is more challenging than the other, as they can all be grueling. No matter how challenging and or frustrating these issues are, most can be managed or at least I try to ignore them.

Multiple Sclerosis can be incredibly unpredictable, which can be burdensome. Never knowing what to expect or when it is going to strike is unnerving. It is embedded in my mind to have things planned but living with the unpredictability of MS can force plans to be altered or cancelled. Of course, with COVID there have not been many outings planned and I work from home, so life just keep moving along.

This illness is not something new and even though there have been vast amounts of research done, a cure has not been discovered. I dream that a day will come when I wake from the nightmare of Multiple Sclerosis and I will not have anymore pain, weakness, numbness in my legs and feet, dizzy spells, or any of the other awful symptoms caused by MS.

Another issue that can be exhausting is the constant pain I feel in my legs and mid to lower back. This has been something the MS caused since I was diagnosed, so I try to not allow it to impact my daily life too much, but it does still cause difficulties. I would say the leg pain is a lot harder to deal with than the back pain because leg pain makes moving around extremely laborious. The back pain is awful, but most of the time a heating pad helps relax the muscles.

I also experience neuropathy in my legs and feet, which causes an annoying tingling sensation. This issue is not easy to ignore because it is constant. It does not bother me as bad during the day but gets increasingly worse at night. The tingling feels like spiders crawling around my legs and feet and not too much decreases this issue. The neuropathy issue makes falling asleep and staying asleep very challenging.

Another issue I battle with is fatigue. It does not matter how much sleep I get, which is never as much as it should be, I am always tired. I have noticed this gets worse towards the afternoon and I start losing my focus because I am exhausted. I arrange my work tasks, so the most in-depth things are handled in the morning when I am the most alert.

The hug I never want is called the MS hug. Thankfully, this is not something I deal with daily, but when I do it is miserable. It kind of feels like there is a snake wrapped around my abdomen and continues to squeeze. It is uncomfortable and painful. For the past few days, I have been battling with this and ignoring it is not making it stop. However, I do think my specialist is on a need to know and I do not think she needs to know about this because I do not want her trying to force steroids on me as that alone makes me feel terrible.

Although I have lived with this disease for over 20 years, some of the fears I had in the beginning do still haunt me. I wonder will there ever be a cure, how much longer will I be able to walk for until I am in a wheelchair, is this disease going to end my life someday, and many more questions run through my mind. Even with all the unanswered questions, I am still never going to give up and allow the MS to win the war we have been fighting.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have enjoyed your weekend and you were able to do what brings you the most joy. I hope what I have shared with you today will be give you some comfort and help you with something you are dealing with. I do not normally share posts that might come across as complaining, but I do want everyone reading to know that no matter what you might be struggling with, there is someone that understand. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thoughts of the past week.

I have always tried to be tolerant of other people’s “unique” personalities because I do not know what is going on in their life that causes them to be a SO unpleasant, but it has been nearly impossible this week. I know “most” people are frustrated with COVID, as we have all been dealing with this for over a year and a half. The reason I said most people is because there are still some for whatever reason that cannot comprehend the seriousness and how deadly the virus is and are still refusing to get vaccinated. Those of us who can understand these issues are feeling isolated and frustrated because this is hindering doing things we enjoy and living life.

This past week was exhausting and aggravating for me because the harder I tried to be patient with others, the more impossible it became. My supervisor was out this week due to a death in her family, so if I had questions or needed help, I had to go to one of the two other supervisors. One of these supervisors cannot admit when she is wrong about something and will consistently degrade anyone that does not agree with her. While the other supervisor is not like that, her personality or lack thereof created a tremendous amount of animosity and discouragement. I am the type that will be harder on myself than anyone else could ever be, so when someone is being short and demeaning, it makes me feel a lot worse about myself and my abilities.

It is my opinion that a manager, supervisor, team lead, or anyone else that is in charge, should be mindful and understand that their subordinates ask questions for a reason. I will admit the personalities of the two people I had to deal with during the week do not mesh well with my personality at all. I do not need anyone to treat me like I am a fragile flower that is going to fall to pieces or have kid gloves on when talking to me, but I do deserve respect. I think when a manager is being degrading, it is counterproductive and not doing good for anyone involved. I appreciate constructive criticism and will thrive in whatever it is I am doing.

Differences between people are what keeps life interesting and provides us with room to grow. I cannot imagine a world where everyone is the same and think it would think it would be monotonous. I would like to believe that I am easy to get along with and that I treat others with the same respect I desire. I can remember telling one of my co-workers and friend, that work and how other people behave is not worth our tears, but I did not listen to my advice from last week and broke down to tears several times.

Although last week was upsetting and discouraging, I would like to believe there were lessons to be learned and that they will make me stronger and more resilient in the future. I cannot say that I am not overly sensitive at times because I am, but I also can take most things with a grain of salt and keep going. Considering I am already extremely hard on myself and my worst critic, dealing with cold and demeaning people is painfully distressing.

For almost 40 years, I have put myself down and thought I was not good enough. My goal is to stop criticizing myself and start believing in myself, and the abilities I possess. I am not sure if y’all remember me talking about a writing contest I wanted to participate in a few months ago. Unfortunately, I did not because I never thought what I write is worthy enough, so I decided to not try, and I do regret that. Recently, I received another email regarding another contest. The contest is for a personal essay, which I think will be exciting and interesting. I have four topics to decide between for this contest. I am excited, nervous, concerned I will not do well, and several other emotions. I am going to start an outline for the essay over the weekend. To stay organized, I might do an outline for the four topics I am deciding between and see where it takes me. Whichever topics I do not use for the contest, I can use later for another contest.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you had a good week, and you have a fabulous, and safe weekend. I hope you enjoyed what I have written and look forward to your comments. If any of you have done a writing contest before and have any advice for me, I would love to really appreciate it. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Tranquil Tuesday

It is Tuesday, which is a good sign because we are getting closer to the weekend. I understand we still have four days to go, but at least it is not five! How has your week started? Yesterday was not the best day for me because work was a little frustrating and I was battling with a headache. The headache was one that I can tolerate, but that does not mean it was easy especially being forced to stare at a computer screen for eight LONG hours!

Unfortunately, there is still way too much negativity and hate throughout the world, and I think we all need more peace and thoughtfulness. Would it not be a better world if only we could all get along and treat one another with respect? There is more we can accomplish if we can support each other and utilize the knowledge we gain from our life experiences. I am hopeful that with all the tragedies we have seen take place in this world, we will become even stronger and more resilient. I am one that strongly believes in being kind to others, even when they may have a nasty attitude because we never know what someone else is going through in their life.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the quote I shared and wrote offered you a sense of peace and encouragement. I have enjoyed reading your comments on my other posts and look forward to reading more, which I will respond to as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Pick Me Up Thursday

I have always thought viewing Thursday as Friday eve was a little more positive, but would love to know what you think! Of course, Thursday is always going to be much closer to Friday than Monday was, which is great! I hope your week has been great and you are staying safe. Like always, my days are always busy and I prefer it to stay that way because it makes the days go much faster. I know not everyone likes their workdays to be busy, but everyone has their reasons. Do you like for your workday to be busy or slow? I am just curious because I only know my husband likes his worknights to be slow and it does not make sense to me.

So much goes on throughout the week and sometimes things make it harder to tolerate issues that are even a little annoying. I think that by Thursday or Friday eve, we all need a little pick-me-up to help get us through the last day of the long week! Things are always going to get in our way, but it is so important that we never allow those roadblocks to getting in the way of what our destiny holds. No matter what anyone else says, we all have the power to do remarkable and amazing things! All of us face different challenges in life, whether it be health, family, employment, or any other issue we fall into and we find a way to make it through them. Personally, I think dealing with any type of hardship with strength shows pure determination, resilience, and a sense of perseverance! Even though I might have just rambled on, I would love to know what you think and promise to respond to your comments as quickly as I possibly can!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope your week is going well and you are trying to do what makes you the happiest. I know I always mention staying safe with COVID, so I hope you are doing that. I do not want to continue saying the same thing in every post because I am sure that gets a little obnoxious, but I hope you know I do it because I care about you and your wellbeing! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Challenges, Memories & Reflection~

Happy Tuesday y’all! The good news is, we have one day down and only four to go before the weekend is back! With how hectic and chaotic life can get, it can become easy to get overwhelmed and forget the good things life has to offer. I want to remind you that no matter what challenges we might face each week or maybe daily, it is better to view those challenges as an opportunity for growth. Of course, I believe strongly that every opportunity in life makes us stronger and wiser. Everyone around the world is indeed different, but we all need to think about what helps us process the challenges we have faced and what we learned from those challenges.

Memories can sometimes flood our minds, but do we always remember everything exactly the way they happened? Yes, there are some memories I would much rather forget, but then there are some memories I will cherish forever. I think it might be a great idea to take a little time and write our future self a letter that we can reflect on later in life.

I am not going to ask you to share the letter you write to your future self, but I am going to share somethings you might want to write to yourself. What is a lesson you have learned in the past eighteen months and how did it make you stronger? What was something that happened recently that made you smile on the worst of days? Has there been a situation that has taken place recently that made you proud of who you are now? Is there any advice you would want your future self to remember years down the road? What fears do you have and how have you overcome them?

Reflection is something we all need to be able to do. Reflection means serious thought or consideration, and this is something that can help us to persevere in life. If there is anything we have learned during the past eighteen months of the pandemic, it is life is short and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life is fragile and we might often take it for granted, but we need to try to never take life, loved ones, health, or anything else meaningful for granted. Even if we are not seeing loved ones or friends regularly, we should do our best to reach out as much as possible. It is amazing what a letter, text, or email can mean to someone we care about.

I will be the first to admit that the workweeks can be demanding, and I forget to stop, and take a break. I put so much time and effort into making sure my husband and cats have everything they need and try doing everything I can at work. The simple things in life that brings me the most joy is watching the way my sweet cats interact with one another and finding creative ways to express myself. The crazy thing is, I sometimes find it hard to know what exactly I want to write about, and this might be because I always have so many random ideas on my mind.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have written about today and I am looking forward to reading your comments. Considering we have accomplished getting through one day already, I hope your week is going well so far and only gets better as the weekend nears. Whatever you do this week, please do what you can to stay as safe as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa