Just Another Day

just-another-day.jpgGood afternoon y’all! For me today is just another day of resting trying to get past this incredible amount of pain I have been dealing with for WAY too long! This obnoxious pain is mixed with that burning sensation that will not cool down, tingling throughout my entire body, numbness which sounds like it would be better than pain, but it really isn’t it is almost worse and a headache that seems never-ending! The nurse practitioner I normally deal with is off today and the doctor that I do my best to avoid is in clinic today, which makes her pretty much unavailable. The only thing the nurse I spoke with was able to say is rest and staying hydrated is important until I can get the MRI, which I was still waiting to hear back from the assistance program. I did just email the Multiple Sclerosis Society of America, which is the company that will either approve or deny assistance for me to get MRI assistance. Now the response I got back from my email was quite upsetting, which is something I really did not need today. They stated the doctor did not provide an order for the MRI, which made no sense to me considering I did send them everything I was instructed to by the doctor’s office, imagine that another miscommunication from them! To hopefully make things actually work out for me, I emailed the nurse requesting the MRI order. Honestly the nurse has been the ONLY person at this office that has been at all helpful to me.  Maybe I will get that back from them sometime this week!!

It is a little frustrating when you are doing everything you possibly can to get well, but itbutterfly-3054736_960_720 just isn’t working the way it should be! I am resting, staying hydrated and taking all the medications the doctor has prescribed, but there is still NO relief yet! My guess is the stress this issue is causing me is not helping me get better, but it is in fact making things so much worse! Isn’t it crazy when we know what is causing our problems to become worse, but yet we still change absolutely nothing with our thought process? Obviously I know exactly what is making all my pain more intense, but I am still getting myself worked up and upset about it anyways!

I think to help get my mind off of my many pain issues; I am going to work more on my bullet journal I am trying to put together. I do not want to start it at the end of the month because I do not think that makes sense, so I am planning this for July! My plan so far is to have a few trackers that will include: symptoms and food I eat in a day (this will be to peace 1see what foods could be causing more issues for me). I want to also include a Hopes & Dreams page, Positive thinking page to really keep my mind in a happy place and a Gratitude page. I might include a page of books that I want to read considering sometimes I think of a book I want to read, but then forget the title! Then lastly I want to include a page of ideas for my blog because I come up with random ideas, but then forget what I wanted to write about when I try to start! I guess I can contribute my forgetful mind to brain fog from the MS.

I really appreciate y’all visiting my site today! Your comments are always appreciate and encouraged because I do love hearing from y’all! I am doing my best to respond as quickly as I can, but with the way I am feeling there is a chance I might be a little delayed, but I will respond!! I hope y’all are having a good day and feeling well! As always no matter how I am feeling or what I am dealing with I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Lesion Party

discouraging.jpgFor the past few weeks it seems that the issues I have had with my legs, arms and back has increased drastically! Now like most of us I was curious as to what could be causing this increase of pain, tingling, burning sensation and pins and needles, so I looked it up on Google. Oh my word looking things up online is almost worse than dealing with what the doctors have to say! Honestly the main reason why what I read online was disturbing is because it was pretty close to what I already suspected, but there really is something about reading it that makes it a little more upsetting.

It has been in my overworked and mildly stressed mind for weeks now that these issues are being caused from new lesions or those that were already present are active now. It shut down the partydoes not seem to matter if I am resting or moving around, the pain does not just go away! This possible lesion party that is going on in my body needs to be shut down! This party is more like a hostile takeover of my ability to live pain-free rather than a happy time with friends having fun like most parties are!

With all of the different issues I have been fighting with for far too long and keeping it from my doctor, today I finally have had enough and sent a message to my doctor to see her recommendations would be. Y’all already know that I completed paperwork last week to hopefully receive MRI assistance, as I do realize that is what is going to be needed, but I am still waiting to hear back about that. Do you just wish these doctors could hear what we are going through, make a true educated assessment and not have to go through the MRI ordeals? I personally think what we are suffering with could be something a true and competent specialist could easily figure out what is causing it and diagnosis the issue.

With all the said, I ended up staying out of work today because of how I was feeling. Even though my legs did not feel stable enough, I did get up when my alarm went off this morning  and made an attempt to try getting ready for work. However, when the short distance from ribbon-e1528247275292.jpgour room to the bathroom felt like 10 miles, I knew anything more would be too hard on my broken body. Crazy thing is I did rest all weekend, but it did not help at all! It really seems like rest hurts, moving hurts and basically anything I do is painful so what do you do when that happens?

I certainly hope y’all had a good start to the week and I hope you are feeling well. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my site today and your comments are always appreciated and encouraged. It may take me a little longer to respond just because it is a difficult day, but I promise I will respond! As always, no matter what I am going through I am sending y’all LOTS of love and comfort!

Love

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Thank you!

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I really want to thank y’all ❤for all of the amazing support you have provided me through my amazing journey of starting this blog! I remember when I started my blog in July 2017, I knew literally nothing about the blogging community! The only thing I knew was I loved❤ to write and I wanted to help others but also really wanted to raise awareness about Multiple Sclerosis. My intentions have always and will always be to encourage and inspire others to live their lives to the fullest, no matter what struggles they are faced with. Everyone experiences some kind of struggle throughout their life time whether it be a chronic illness, knowing what really makes you happy, moving to a new city, career changes, loss of a loved one or anything else that may bring you down. As silly as this may sound, I have always wanted to bring sunshine☀ to the darkest of days for all those in need. 

I really want y’all to know that I am always here to offer support whenever you need it! We may live in different cities and even countries, but I am just an email away! I hope here for youyour weekend has been wonderful and now you are ready to start a new week with a fresh start! Thank you for visiting my site and leaving great comments! I do really enjoy the conversations I have had with so many of you! I honestly view each of you as great friends! As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Fight the pain tears!

RTFRDRR_zpsstqz8fkyGood morning y’all! I hope you had a wonderful week and I really hope you have a fabulous weekend! This week was literally the first week in a while I was able to push myself through working the entire week. Despite the unrelenting pain I was feeling, I managed to work all five days for six very painful hours! Who would have ever thought that 30 hours in one week would be so difficult? I mean I used to work over 40 hours and not really struggle that much, it was just what had to be done.

There were days during this week that I did not think I would be able to continue in the day because my pain level was a 13 on the 10 scale, but I had something to prove to myself. I had to prove to no one but myself that I was still strong enough to handle a work day.  There were days that I would be almost in tears on the drive home, but that did not help the pain subside at all. Self pity has painnever really been for me, so I fought the tears vigorously trying to never allow even one tear to fall! I am not saying that tears are a sign of weakness, but I am way too stubborn to allow something like pain to keep me down for too long!

I get so tired of people saying things like, “Why do you not go on disability?” or “If this is too hard for you, go home.” or  “Why do you not just work part-time?” or just the pity stares because they are just making some unnecessary judgment call. It is so true that the only one person truly knows how you feel and that is you. No one can understand how I really feel because they do not have to walk in my shoes. So many speculate, but until they walk in my shoes for one day they have no idea what I am fighting. There are times that words do not do any justice to what I am dealing with, so I find peace in silence.

Thankfully the weekend is here and I have the opportunity to just rest my poor brokenpain makes you stronger body and allow it to do much-needed healing. The only things I plan to do this weekend is rest, write, read and I have a new project that I am so excited to work on which is a bullet journal! I was absent from making a post for a few days because I was just trying to manage my pain. After working 6 hours in a day my back, shoulder to my finger tips and legs were in so much pain I would not have been able to write the way I wanted to. When I create a post I want to be able to write with strength and from my heart which I am not able to do when I hurt too much.

Now my fun project I will be working on, the bullet journal was inspired by a fellow blogger Hannah https://hannahelizasite.wordpress.com/, who has created some fantasticcreativity bullet journals. If you have not already viewed Hannah’s site, you definitely should because she is so incredibly amazing!!! Hannah has been very helpful to me with creating my own bullet journal by giving me advice and answering questions I had! I think this is going to be a creative and fun way to keep track of my illness! Maybe a little creativity will help ease the pain I am feeling and also allow me to find ways to see common trends and maybe correct them!

I appreciate y’all stopping by my site today and do look forward to any comments you may have. I hope you have an amazing and relaxing weekend! As always no matter what I am going through, I am sending you LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

News from FMLA

1052674_good-evening-sunday-images-wallpapers-of-2015_1024x768_hGood evening y’all! I hope you had a great day and are feeling well. This will be a short post just to give you an update! I had shared with y’all on Friday about my FMLA drama, well I actually have some good news. I did of course have to make a few phone calls, but the end result was positive. Both parts of my FMLA request have been approved and will be good through the end of the year and part of January 2019!! So now if I have any relapses, I am covered by law and I was also approved to have my reduced hours, which of course I had already been doing since November of last year. Even though my nerves were completely shot late Friday afternoon, I guess I knew that things would work out the way they were supposed to. 

After that ordeal with FMLA was all taken care of I have moved onto another issue, dealing with the MRI assistance paperwork. I have completed the necessary paperwork and even typed up a letter addressing any financial questions they will probably have. I will get this paperwork emailed to the company tomorrow morning and then just hope for the best. I am going to look at this with an optimistic mind and believe that things will fall into place because I also know the MRI is needed. After the request is sent I willhope know I have done all I could do and hope they will approve my request for assistance. MRI’s  even with insurance in the United States are insanely expensive. I still wonder why in the world I pay so much for my medical insurance just to have to turn around any pay tons of money for doctor’s appointments and required procedures, it just really does not seem right to me! Maybe someday the US will follow suit with the other developed countries and offer “free” health insurance. I kind of think it would be insane to hold my breath because things have been this way for many years without anyone stepping in to make GOOD changes! 

Thank you so much for visiting my site this evening! I always appreciate you taking the time to read and love reading your comments. I hope y’all have a lovely and relaxing evening. Just think we are almost half way through the week! Remember I am always sending you LOTS❤ of love and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Does pain cause you to be angry?

Good morningGood morning y’all and happy Wednesday! Thank goodness we are half way until the weekend is back! Are you having a good short week? When my office is closed on Monday, don’t get me wrong I love the day off, but I end up confusing the rest of the days of the week and being a day behind! Heck Tuesday morning I thought it was Monday, but I was thrilled to find out when I got to work it was Tuesday! I guess that is one of lives many pleasures! During a normal week, my mind is always a day ahead of time, so usually disappointed! 

Anger, pain and depression are three negative experiences that are bonded so closely together it can almost be impossible to know when one of these feelings ends and another begins. Pain can impact our emotions so deeply, producing a wide range of emotions from sadness, to anger to possibly rage! The feelings of anger are so often anger and painmisinterpreted as hostility because others may not understand what we are dealing with at any given time.

Anger can actually be a motivating force to put things into action, instead of just being all talk and complaints. For instances, when we are dealing with an insurance company and all the many hurdles to get through, just to get a needed procedure. Or even when trying to get our doctor to listen to our requests and not just pushing our needs to the side so they can move onto their next patient.

There are numerous physiological effects we can have from anger. Anger can be felt in our chest, head and the entire body! This could mean that the anger we feel increases the pain already felt, which makes so much sense to me. I started writing this because I have been dealing with SO much pain lately in my EmilysQuotes.Com-anger-pain-negative-sad-Eckhart-Tollelegs, back, arms and head and that pain is causing me so much frustration which quickly changes to ANGER! Logically, I know that being angry with my pain is not going to solve anything, but it just keeps happening without fail! I am typically a very calm and ❤caring person, but lately I feel like I am losing my temper so much faster and a lot easier! Today I had a co-worker, who let me just say has already made some really negative comments about me in the past, stop me to ask if I was okay because I seemed to not be walking as she thought would be “normal”. Considering my legs have been in a lot of pain lately, I do walk a little slower and refrain from using my right leg when I can, but pointing that out was not necessary. Could she have been being caring? Probably not! But I was hateful with my response when I said “I am fine!”! She had to push the issue a little further causing me to say once again, “I am FINE”, with a lot more force before walking away. Was I wrong in my reaction? Or was it the pain and frustration talking? Who can really say? But I do not feel like I was wrong and I do think it was the pain and frustration talking!

Do you personally find when you are in pain you have less patience for dealing with pain and angerothers? If so, how do you control your emotions and remain pleasant to others? I know I sometimes am shorter with my poor husband❤ and he  does not deserves that at all, but he also knows that is not me and I do not mean to be short with him. However, I still will feel bad about my less than ❤sweet attitude! I guess the vows are hold true, but maybe we should have added, with attitude and not as well!

Thank y’all for taking the time to visit my site today! I always appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and I really love to read your comments, which I will always respond to as quickly as I can! I hope you have a great day pain-free day! Please never forget that I am sending y’all LOTS of ❤love and comfort always!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

What I have overcome that has made me stronger!

happy tuesdayGood morning Y’all! I hope your long weekend was full of nothing but happiness and you are feeling great starting this short week at work! I can say that the majority of my weekend was dedicated to resting to get myself feeling better and hopefully making my pain issues just go away! I guess we will see now that the week has started!

When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis almost 18 years ago, I honestly viewed this as a punishment of something I must have done wrong during my life. I could not for the life of me understand what I could have done so wrong to deserve a battle like this to live with. It took me so many years to accept the diagnosis and findHope ways to live a❤ happy life not allowing an illness to EVER alter or control my life in any way! I wanted to be the one to continue controlling my life because I did not feel it was fair for an illness to be in control of MY life!

The sad truth is we are not able to choose the way our life is going to play out before we are here to actually live it. Once we are born we just need to live the life we were given the best way we can and not ever give up when things get too difficult. Life is not all about ☀sunshine, butterflies, rainbows and waltzing through the days easily, hard times fall on every one of us and we must learn to alter life when it is required.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and even if we do not like it or 11324-Everything-Happens-For-A-Reason..agree with what is happening, it is just the way it is! Any obstacles that we are given are not intended to be a punishment in any way, it is just what was meant for our life and all of these obstacles make us even stronger than we were before! All the hurdles along our journeys are put in place so we can just learn to sore over them with grace and strength! These frustrating impediments are all a learning experience for us to grow further!

Let me just say that I think overcoming the complete shock of my diagnosis in some crazy ways made me a stronger person. Yes, I have my bad days when I feel absolutely terrible, but in time I get back to my “normal” self or maybe it is better to say my “new normal” self. It sounds so crazy to say that an incurable and sometimes debilitating present situationillness made me stronger, but it really has! This illness gave me so many reasons to keep fighting for my own health and it has empowered me with determination that does not waver.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today! I always appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts and ❤LOVE to read your fantastic comments. I hope you have a great day and I really hope you are feeling well. Please always remember that I am sending you LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤