Accepting realities!

acceptanceSomething that I have had a really hard time admitting and accepting is that Multiple Sclerosis is a disability. Whenever I have applied for a job, there is always that annoying question “Do have or have you had a disability.” I mean what kind of BS question is that to ask someone? Of course I want to say “NO”, but Multiple Sclerosis is listed as a disability on the darn application and I can’t falsify anything on an application because that could result in me being disqualified for a position I applied for and want. I think this is so invasive and completely ridiculous, but I guess it is what it is in life!

For some strange reason the words disabled and disability shatter my heart into aimages million pieces and cause me to feel like a useless failure . I do realize how irrational this may sound, but that is how I have been feeling. It made me incredibly sad when I had a difficult time walking through a store last weekend because my legs and feet were experiencing SO much pain and weakness. All
hashtag person not disabilityI wanted to do was cry, but I couldn’t because I view that as letting this illness win the never-ending battle we have been in for years and that will NEVER be an option for me!!

I know I already shared with y’all that I figured out I am gluten-intolerant without the expensive tests a doctor would want to run. It seems like a punishment to have to deal withlife isn't fair the issues Multiple Sclerosis comes along with and then add gluten-intolerant to the mix seems quite unfair. I know we all deal with random issues and keep on moving forward because we do not have a choice. I am also very aware that many others deal with SO many other struggles that are far worse than what I am, so I am really not complaining. I am going to share more about this gluten-intolerant situation in a later post.

tired.jpgThe truth is, because I am always so exhausted during the week after working 8 hours every day of the week, I often don’t have the energy to write as much as I would like to. I end up with so many random thoughts running around like crazy in my mind; it gets so hard to keep track of them all and have those thoughts come together for a good read and one that I am proud of.

For the past week or so, I have been experiencing an increase in the number of horrible do not confuse bad days as weaknessdizzy/black-out spells. I have had these issues happen before, but never so many in just one day. At least 2 days last week, there were several moments when the room went completely dark and there NO were sounds at all, which under other circumstances would be great. There was one time I was talking with a co-worker at her desk about work and all of sudden I felt weak, light-headed, hot as hell and dizzy. Luckily I was standing very close to the wall, which kept me standing upright. It might have been pretty embarrassing if I all of sudden fell to the floor at this new job.

I am not really sure which of these issues are more images (3)terrifying; dizzy spells, black-out moments or the combination of the two. Of course I would say the combination of dizziness and black-out would the most terrifying because you are dealing two different disturbing issues at the same time. I have dealt with dizzy spells for so many years now, but I have found ways that help me limit the duration of my dizziness, most of the time at least.

Truthfully my experiences with black-out spells aren’t plentiful in comparison to dizziness, but I have enough sense and knowledge to download (6)understand how horribly upsetting they can be. I remember a few years ago there was a period of time when I had a several short black-outs throughout the week, but they weren’t anywhere near as severe as they are now. I am not sure if its stress, lack of sleep, weather changes or something else. The list of possible reasons really could go on and on and on, but I really just wish they were STOP!

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I will never pressure you to leave a download (7)comment, but I do encourage your comments if that makes any sense, but I know your thoughts will be amazing. I promise to respond to your comments as quickly as I can! I hope you are feeling well and enjoying your weekend! Sometimes I think the best part of a weekend isn’t getting out and staying busy, but not having any plans at all so there aren’t any time requirements. My days are set in stone during the week with work, which I tend to strongly dislike, but I guess it is just the life of adulthood. I enjoy spending my 2 very short weekend days living in the moment and not doing anything that might cause unnecessary stress. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Things I didn’t know about Gluten Intolerance!

good-evening-images-63Good evening y’all! I hope you are having a good week so far and hope it stays pleasant! Just think, we already made it through two days of the week, so we are almost half way there!

Y’all already know I have been battling with what I thought was a nasty stomach bug, but after doing a little research I do not think that is the case anymore. Of course I haven’t seen a doctor about it because I do not have insurance, but I think I figured it out on my own. I am about 99.9% sure I have developed Gluten Intolerance. I guess that is actually a good thing because understanding what is images (1)going on and understanding how to handle it will provide me with some relief or at least I hope it will! Obviously I am not a doctor, but I think I am familiar enough with the body I have lived in for almost 38 years. I am going to share with y’all what I have learned and please if you have any other helpful tips or ideas, please let me know!

Wheat-Gluten-IntoleranceI first want to clarify a few important details I have learned! Gluten Intolerance is often confused with other issues, like Celiac Disease or food allergies, but there are some differences and similarities. Gluten is a protein found mainly in wheat, barley and rye. This protein can cause digestive problems like gassiness, abdominal pain or diarrhea. With food allergies, the immune system overreacts to a particular food causing various reactions and levels of severity. Celiac Disease is an inherited autoimmune disorder that can damage the small intestines, but Gluten Intolerance almost mimics this.

Signs & Symptoms of Gluten Intolerance:10-Signs-Youre-Gluten-Intolerant-

  1. Bloating: This is when the belly is swollen or full of gas after eating. This is very common and does occur in 87% of individuals with Gluten Intolerance.
  2. Diarrhea, constipation and smelly feces: About 50% of individuals with gluten intolerance deal with diarrhea and 25% experience constipation. This is when you would experience inflammation in the gut after eating gluten. This damages gut lining, leading to poor nutrient absorption.
  3. Abdominal Pain: This is something else that is very common with Gluten Intolerance. 83% of individuals living with this intolerance experience abdominal pain.
  4. Headaches:  About 10-12% of the Western population experiences migraines. People with Gluten Intolerance are prone to migraines. 
  5. Feeling Tired: This is also being very common, leading to 60-82% of individuals with Gluten Intolerance experience this. People with this condition are prone to Gluten-Intolerance-Symptoms-Do-You-Have-Themfatigue and tiredness, having very low energy. Gluten Intolerance can cause iron-deficiency anemia. This is a condition in which blood lacks adequate healthy red blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen to the body’s tissues
  6. Skin Problems: There is a blistering skin condition called Dermatitis Herpetiformis, which is a manifestation of gluten-sensitive enteropathy, commonly known as celiac disease. This is not as common and can improve once on a Gluten-Free Diet!
  7. Depression:  Depression is not as common and only affects 6% of those living with11246-health-1-1 this intolerance. People with digestive issues seem more prone to both anxiety and depression.-Even though depression is not too common, there are a few theories for how Gluten Intolerance can lead to depression.*Abnormal  serotonin levels. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter allowing cells to communicate and is commonly referred to as “Happiness” hormones.

    *Gluten Exorphines, these peptides are formed during digestion of the gluten proteins. The gluten proteins may interfere with the Central Nervous System, which may raise the risk of depression.

    *Changes in gut microbiota. This is increased harmful bacteria and decrease beneficial bacteria increasing the risk of depression.

  8. Unexplained Weight Loss
  9. Iron-Deficiency Anemia: This causes symptoms such as low blood volume, fatigue, 6-signs-of-gluten-intolerance-300x165shortness of breath, dizziness, headaches, pale skin and weakness.
  10. Anxiety: This can affect anywhere from 3% to 30% of people worldwide. Involves feelings of worry, nervousness, unease and agitation. People with gluten intolerance are more prone to anxiety and panic disorders.
  11.  Autoimmune Disorders: Even though Gluten Intolerance is a separate issue from Celiac Disorder, I thought it would be good to share this as well. Celiac Disease is an autoimmune disorder causing your immune system to attach the digestive tract after consuming gluten. Typically people with gluten intolerance also have another autoimmune diseases to cope with.Gluten-Intolerance-Symptoms
  12. Joint and Muscle Pain: There is a  theory that people with Celiac Disease have a genetically determined over-sensitive or over-excitable nervous system. Gluten exposure may cause inflammation in gluten sensitive people. This inflammation may result in wide-spread pain, including joints and muscles.
  13. Leg or Arm Numbness:  Neuropathy symptoms involving numbness and tingling in the arms and legs.
  14. Brain Fog: This issue affects up to 40% of those with Gluten Intolerance. Forgetful, difficulty thinking, feeling cloudy and mental fatigue.

After learning more about this the things I deal with almost make more sense in  a way. Battling with stomach issues for over on month, numerous headaches/migraines, ud6zQ3sJTmewbULOd0n7_Beyond-Gluten-Free-Article-2018-1280x720-1constant feeling of fatigue, obnoxious levels of anxiety, nervousness, worrying and quick agitation, dizziness at random times, weakness, joint and muscle pain, numbness and cloudiness in my mind. I always blamed so many of these symptoms on Multiple Sclerosis and maybe that is still the case, but maybe it is a Gluten Intolerance causing more of it. 

I am doing my best right now to change my diet, but it really isn’t easy. I bought several gluten-free products at the grocery store, clementines and carrots, but honestly have not seen much of a change. Logically, I have only been trying this for a couple of days and I know it takes time for this type of change, but at least I am trying! Do y’all have any advice you would be willing to share? I know you always have great ideas and fantastic suggestions that I do appreciate!download

Thank y’all for stopping by my site today and I am sorry this was a little longer than most of my posts, but there was so much information to share. I hope you have a lovely and relaxing evening and of course I hope you are feeling well! I know it often takes me longer to respond to your comments, but I promise to respond as quickly as I can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

Pick-Me-Up Thursday!

Quotes-_-When-Ya-Just-Need-That-Pick-Me-Up-e1533242488825Good morning y’all! I hope you have had a great week and you are looking forward to the weekend that is SO close, I know I sure am! It’s rather nice not really having any plans and even better to know I will not hear an annoying alarm go off early in the morning! Y’all know I am still getting use to my new job and I do have a lot to learn, so I have not been able to blog as much as I would like. I am often so tired when I get home and it is just too difficult to get on a computer again. I would like to catch up on reading all of  your amazing blogs this weekend, but we will see how that goes!Enjoy-Your-Thursday-Pink-Graphic

I missed my Pick-Me-Up Thursday last week, but didn’t want miss it again this week! The quote I want to share with you today means a lot too me and it’s because of my previous post this past Tuesday. I believe that if we can all join together there is a chance we can have even more success! The is power in numbers and we all understand each other very well! I really hope you find this quote as powerful as I do!strength in numbers

I often feel that living with a chronic illness can and does make life pretty difficult, especially when many are against providing us with protection with health insurance. It shouldn’t be like this, but unfortunately it seems to be, especially in the United States strengthwhere pharmaceutical companies run the thoughts of the weak-minded, again no names being mentioned! It you read my post from Tuesday, you will know why I am pushing standing together through the hard times we can possibly face!

I want to thank y’all for stopping by my site today and I really hope y’all have a fantastic day! I do always encourage you to leave a comment, which I will respond to as quickly as I can because I        ❤ love reading your brilliant thoughts! Please never forget for a second that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Outraged!

IMG_0579I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday because it certainly feels we should be much closer to the weekend. It is crazy how fast the short weekends go by and then how LONG the work weeks are. I am thankful I found a job that is close to home and all, but strongly believe 40 hours a week is too much for anyone to dedicate to a job! I think it is even more outrageous that here in the United States we are often forced to wait 90 days before we can even get insurance, not to mention the fact it is INSANELY expensive! I mean, if I were to get insurance for myself and my husband the cost per pay check would be more than a quarter of my paycheck!

I know I have written about this before, but now it is getting painfully more real! The obamacare-pre-existing-conditionsnews I heard, after a long day at work, was so disturbing and caused me so much ANGER, as it would anyone with a heart and any empathy for others! For someone during their campaign they ran to become president, no names being mentioned of course, saying they wouldn’t do anything negative to those of us with pre-existing conditions, to now doing the EXACT OPPOSITE and trying to eliminate protection for pre-existing conditions! I know this person in the white house has some of-nonelderly-adults-with-a-pre-existing-condition-twitter-v1crazy issues with the former president,  but to banish the good things that were done is very wrong. How anyone could still support this person is beyond me because I sure as hell couldn’t and never would! There are millions of people in the United States that will be affected by this and many could even lose their lives if anything happens to their health insurance. 

I try my best to keep my blog encouraging and never talk politics because we are all understandingtheacaentitled to our opinions, but when something can change my own life for the negative, I can’t help but to share my thoughts on the matter! I have been trying to tell myself that no one would ever think about doing something so awful and ruin lives for so many, but it just may happen! Striking down the Affordable Care Act, as has been put on the table, is wrong on so many levels, no matter what your political views are! I wish there was something more I could do to stop anything like this from happening, but I do not even know what that would be! Of course I can write about it, but I don’t know how much that will really change the issues! I do understand there is a chance that nothing being proposed will pass, but what if it does? How can anyone afford the medications they need to live their lives? I know there is absolutely NO way I could ever afford the medications I take to slow the progression of my Multiple benefits-affordable-care-actSclerosis down without insurance. Where would this leave people battling with a chronic illness and does anyone in power really care??

I am sorry for my second rant in a matter of days, but I am hoping we could some how all join together and find a way to help make things better for millions of people! We all deserve WAY better than this and it is shameful we are facing this fear now! I have always heard that there is strength in numbers, so all I can do is hope for better times!

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading this rant! My frustrations are sky-high and the only thing I know to do is write about them! This helps me calm my nerves and ease my stress some! I hope y’all have a pleasant and relaxing evening. I always encourage your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can! Please know that even though I am a little high-strung right now about all this, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

The rant about healthcare & insurance!

charlie-ergen-quote-to-use-a-poker-analogy-if-the-deck-is-a-bitHave y’all ever felt like the cards were stacked up against you? Living with a chronic illness already gives the house a much better hand, but I will always refuse to fold! We have all learned various ways to cope with what we live with and to keep up a good fight despite any additional struggles we are forced to face. I learned many years ago that the storms of life will only gain more strength, but weathering these storms can and will be done.

I do think the unexpected issues that arise can be the most problematic and perplexing ones. Losing my job for absolutely no reasonable or seasonable reason really did send my mind into a downward spiral. I have tried my best to stay positive dda6dd8c8211c5c345ce66f0f5558197--quotes-about-worrying-quotes-about-stressthrough the time I was without a job, but the continued nagging fear of being without insurance while living with a chronic illness is beyond terrifying. It almost feels like being on a roller coaster without a safety belt on and this feeling gets the best of me more than I like to admit. I know I have complained before, which isn’t helpful at all, about how crummy and expensive insurance is, but being without it with Multiple Sclerosis or any chronic illness is very unpleasant. Medications and doctor’s visit are expensive with insurance and I hate that I know how much these things are without insurance. Thankfully I have only been forced to go to one doctor’s visit without insurance which was very expensive and I found that GoodRx.com does help reduce the price of medications! Even though I have found ways around the doctor’s visits, I am still always in a constant fear of what will happen if I have a relapse or if these corrupt idiots corruption-power-quotes-01.jpgrunning this country mess with pre-existing conditions because this could happen. I do know that thinking about these things is nothing but stressful and will only create additional health issues, but it is impossible for me to let go of these thoughts and feelings.

Y’all already know that I have been battling with a crazy stomach issue for over a month and I am avoiding seeking medical attention until I have insurance again. I mean who stomach issuescan really afford these various appointments and all the tests doctors think they need to run on their patients? I am not, never have been and never will be in the tax bracket that can afford this. What kind of person can look at someone with an illness of any kind and only see dollar signs? To me, that is not a good or compassionate person, but they are the ones on top. It is really unfortunate that some can be as evil and corrupt as they possibly can be, but not ever face the consequences for their bad behaviors.

gilenyaThe Gilenya I take daily to keep my Multiple Sclerosis under some kind of control costs $8,500 per month without insurance. This is completely absurd and absolutely ludicrous! Unfortunately, GoodRx isn’t able to assist with this medication. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell can’t afford these high costs. I have been going through an amazing program called Gilenya Go Program since being on this medication and my cost has always been $0. I don’t even want to think about what I would have gilenya-go-programdone if this program didn’t exist. Considering I do not have insurance at the moment and only have about one month left on hand of this medication, I did panic. I have spoken with an amazing representative for the Gilenya Go Program and she told me all I would need to do is call them when I am down to one week left and they will send this medication to me free of charge and can do this for about 2 months. By the time they aren’t able to assist me any longer, I will have insurance again, so thankfully I will not go without. This is just me, but Gilenya has been helping keep me semi free of relapse and further progression.

GLN01260I also take Neurontin, three times a day. This is another medication that is a little expensive, but nowhere near the crazy cost of Gilenya. A one month supply of Neurontin with insurance was only $10, which is very affordable. Now without insurance this will end up costing me close to $300 per month! If I do go through the GoodRx,com website, I might be able to get this medication for around $47 per month which is still high but a lot more feasible than $300!

Now there are a few other medications I do take daily that are rather expensive, but the GoodRx website has been very helpful with these. How is it that the United States of othercountrieshealthcarecs.jpgAmerica is the ONLY developed country that doesn’t offer free healthcare? An even better question is why are the American people so scared of having free healthcare? My guess is, these people are blindly listening to the ones in power that say this will never be a good option and much more negative lies about it. Free healthcare has been great for all the other developed countries with the citizens only saying great things about their free healthcare! In my personal opinion, those that say nothing good about free healthcare need to dig a little deeper and far beyond what American leaders say, until they can think for common sensethemselves with a clear mind and actual logic!

I want to thank you for visiting my site today and reading my rant about how awful healthcare is in the United States. In all honesty I do not like to complain because it doesn’t fix the issue, but I needed to get my thoughts out and really want to know your thoughts on this! I hope you have a lovely and peaceful Sunday. I feel that the weekend went by way too fast and I have to get up early again and back to work tomorrow. I mean seriously, where did the weekend go? Is it really too much to ask to have our weekends be a little longer? I promise to respond to all your comments as quickly as I can and considering it is Sunday, I should be able to do this! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Benefits to finishing!

happy fridayHappy Friday y’all! It’s crazy how fast the week went by, but at least we made it through. My week was full of much anticipation for a new journey I will be starting down on Monday. Y’all can join my count down as I are currently at 2.5 days before starting a new full-time job again.  I do plan to go into this new job with a minimal amount of expectations and an open mind. I know this doesn’t need to be a permanent job, it’s just a means of getting insurance and making a little bit of money to pay bills with. 

20190314_130644Y’all know I have been finding a lot of comfort and relaxation with crocheting. I shared with you already the two blankets I made for our living room, but I just finished another blanket for our spare bedroom. I love the colors in this blanket and think it looks pretty darn nice on the bed, but let’s see what you think! I do think that submerging myself into creating 20190314_130652something beautiful helped get me through a difficult time in life. 

Now that this blanket has been completed, I had to start another blanket. This new blanket is going to have four colors and these are the favorite colors of husband, his grandparents and myself. The colors include dark gray, pink, light gray and purple. I guess I felt like this would pay tribute to the loving people my husband’s grandparents were! So far, I think it is looking very nice and the colors work well with each other! I promise to share pictures as the new blanket grows!

Now that I am starting a new job on Monday, I will probably not be writing as much as I would like, at least not until I get through training and get adjusted to having an actual schedule again. I do still plan on doing Motivational Monday and Pick-Me-Up Thursday because I find them very helpful! I do still have many fellow bloggers that I want to recognize, as they are just amazing people who I cherish! There are also a fewmultiple_sclerosis_ms_hope_1_postcard-rf4358a5de94a4cb4a8713cdf21813817_vgbaq_8byvr_307.jpg more things I want to share in honor of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness month because I think this is very important and  should not be overlooked!

I know I will get adjusted to this new job pretty fast and do not think it is going to be stressful at all. There are two great things about where I am going to be working. One great part of this new company is, it is only 2 miles from my house! Considering I really do not enjoy driving, this works very well for me. The Best-is-yetother benefit is, I will not have to be on my feet all day. There were a few other interviews I went on, but most of them I would have been on my feet for 8 hours a day. I think I am being logical and know that being on my feet for long periods of time would only cause me more even pain issues and my goodness I didn’t want that. It wasn’t easy for me to admit this because I am pretty stubborn, but I had to be realistic with my own abilities and health. I do not like admitting I can’t do something and will fight against this will everything I have!

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today! I am looking forward to reading what you think about the blanket I just finished! I hope your weekend is filled with nothing but happiness and joy! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of        love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

More talk about MS!

ms march awarenessMultiple Sclerosis is a very complex and frustrating battle to face. Unfortunately, this illness does impact everyone’s life in  so many different ways and to the point it’s almost hard to pinpoint what is what! There have been various names people choose to use when referring to  MS; such as the snowflake disease or invisible illness. I think these terms can also be used in many other chronic illnesses as well because they are fitting. I mean if you think about it, there are no two snowflakes that are exactly the alike,  just like no illnesses experiences the exact same symptoms. Also, there are so many of these illnesses that are completely naked to the eye, so they are pretty much invisible in the bigger picture. 51209211_2039825619447292_5206443739896197656_n

Let me ask my wonderful fellow bloggers, whether you live with MS or know someone else that does, what do you already know about this not so fun illness? Honestly,I think the only thing everyone knows to be 100% true is this illness can vastly differ for each individual! There might be times throughout the years each person with MS will unfortunately have a new symptom emerge and they need to learn to cope with this. While no one wants to deal with anything additional and all symptoms can be daunting, there  really are always ways to carry on with life!

symptomsI know there may be countless responses to this, but what are your top 5 most challenging issues you have been forced to accept during your journey? One thing I find very challenging and the most aggravating is how completely unpredictable this illness is. I have and probably always will be an obsessive planner! It drives me crazy for any unplanned issues to appear without any warning! Over the years, I have learned to expect the unexpected and be willing to rearrange my plans.

Another part of my MS life I find challenging, but am learning to accept is there are th-26-300x111NEVER any real answers for the numerous questions I ask my doctor. I would have never thought my questions were so difficult that my specialist can’t answer them. I mean these doctors go through enough schooling they should have a wealth of knowledge to match this. I am sure the schooling for many years is very expensive and probably more money than I will make in MANY years! Maybe while in school they should have a class in good bedside manner because most neurologist have a terrible personality. I think they have a godlike and ego maniac demeanor. 

flat,550x550,075,f.u4The third challenging aspect of this life that I have almost accepted is, the complete ignorance and total lack of empathy most people have for others. The ugly glances and degrading comments I have seen and heard over my years, especially when I park in a handicap parking space are nothing short of hurtful! Even though I have lived with this for many years, these glances and comments still can bring me to tears. This really doesn’t have anything to do with me, but is all on them! These people probably believe that misery loves company and try to bring me down to their level, which I try to avoid!

It doesn’t matter how long I have struggled with this illness, fatigue still tries to kick my Worst-MS-symptombutt daily! It was always complicated for me when I was working full-time because it never failed at about 1:00 or 2:00 if I am lucky I was exhausted! I have accepted this issue and try my best to conserve my energy so I am not ready for a nap at lunch time!

Lastly and to keep this from being too terribly long, the final challenging thing for me to accept is the constant pain I feel. It often seems like I am going to always to battle with pain and with little to no relief. I do know that dwelling on this pain only causes the pain to worsen instead of lesson and this just  isn’t an option for me! I do try focusing on the positive in my life instead of the negative hoping these thoughts will trick my body into healing! I also believe acceptance is half the battle and laughcan help keep my stress in check which will in-turn lessen the pain.

I would like to thank y’all for stopping by my site today. I told y’all on March 1st that for MS Awareness month I wanted to shed more light on this illness because knowledge is power! I am looking forward to reading your comments and do hope this was helpful for you!

I hope you have had a good week and of course hope you are feeling well. The weekend is finally here and  I hope you enjoy every moment of it! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and  many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤