Category Archives: Betrayal

Beware Of Scams

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Unfortunately, scams are common, and scammers are becoming increasingly creative and fraudulent. Many of us know others who have fallen victim to a scam, and if it happens to you, it can feel invasive and beyond disappointing. There were several times years ago when my bank account got hacked because someone used my account to go on a shopping spree, but thankfully, my bank notified me of the fraudulent charges and put a hold on my account. These situations were disturbing and invasive, but the funds were returned to my account. Of course, this required me to obtain new cards, which was frustrating, but the issues were handled and corrected quickly. I knew of many scams people dealt with, and I have always tried to avoid falling victim to them again. In the rest of this post, I will share the experience I had recently with a nasty scam and important tips to help you not become a victim of a scam.

Recently, as I have been looking for a job, someone contacted me about a position I applied for. The first RED flag “should” have been obvious as the “interview” was done via Microsoft Teams. I chalked this up to the fact the position was remote, and they appeared to have concerns about safety for COVID. With my immune system, or rather lack of it, this stood out to me as a positive. I was offered the job within two hours, which should have been another RED flag. The next RED flag for me was the pay because it was very high, but I was going along with it as I wanted a job.

The final straw and last RED flag were a combination of issues. They wanted to, and they emailed me a check, which I was to deposit into my account via the mobile app with my bank and purchase the required equipment through their vendor. Never in my life has a company emailed me a check and requested I purchase equipment. I have worked in Human Resources and never heard of a check being emailed and did not think it was possible. After all the RED flags I experienced and ignoring my intuition from the start, I used the email address found on the company’s legitimate website to reach out to the company directly. As I suspected, they confirmed that the entire situation was a scam!

My intuition was screaming at me that nothing felt right and to run far away from the situation, which I did not listen to immediately. Considering I knew better, I did feel terrible that I allowed my naivety to lead me down the road of a corrupt and selfish scam. I was irritated. I pulled myself together, handled the situation with fierce determination, and held onto my integrity. Not only did I notify the company of the person who claimed to work for them, but I also sent his name, messages received, and details of the entire situation to the Federal Trade Commission. Considering I did fill out the W-4 document for employment, as an extra precaution, I let my bank know what happened, added a fraud alert to my information, and froze my credit information.

To help you understand the seriousness of the scamming issues causing many people problems and extra stress, I will share information that I hope helps you. During the last 12 months in the United States, more than seven in ten adults have been the target of scammers. It was stated by the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center more than 2,000 complaints are received daily. Many reported crimes were due to phishing, with over 300,000 people falling victim and reported losses last year at over $52 million. Phishing is defined as using unsolicited emails, text messages, and phone calls from legitimate companies. During communication, the person may request personal, financial, or login credentials. Cybercriminals will use the information they have found in deceiving ways and may use the information to gain your trust and cause your walls to lighten. They may continue talking in friendly dialect until they get what they were after.

Scammers and cybercriminals are becoming extremely brazen and have sophisticated manners, which provides even more reasons we must keep our eyes and ears open and stay alert. The following are just a few ways to implement tips to help keep you safe from these scammers.

Applying Urgency:

Any emails that are demanding you to take urgent and immediate action. These emails may get more intense and threatening with negative consequences. Attackers commonly use this approach to rush the recipient, so they do not have time to think or do research before acting.

Poor Grammer and Spelling Errors:

Another easy way to notice phishing emails is to notice grammar and spelling mistakes. Most companies and even our personal email accounts have spell-checking tools applied. This can be done as a default with company emails to ensure outgoing emails are grammatically correct. For many other browser-based emails, the auto-correction will highlight the errors before you approve the email to send.

Email Addresses, Links, and Domain Names:

Did the email received originate from a legitimate organization? Remember to compare the sender’s address with other emails received. To ensure links sent are legitimate, hover the mouse pointer over the link, but DO NOT click on the link. If you hover the mouse pointer over the link, be sure it originates from whom it is expected, and if it does not, report the email as a phishing attack. 

Email Requests:

Treat all emails with caution, especially if the email comes from an unexpected or unfamiliar sender. If an email requests login credentials, payment information, or other sensitive data, this might be a phishing attack. Smear phishers can forge login pages to look the same as the real thing. You should always avoid inputting information when pages get redirected unless you are 100% positive the email is legitimate.

Too Good To Be True:

Whether it is an email or a job, anytime something looks too good to be true, it probably is. An incentive-based email claiming if you click on an attachment or a link saying there will be a reward stay cautious and alert, and do not click on anything! If the sender of an email is unfamiliar, it is likely a phishing email.

I know it can be challenging to overcome things once you have experienced a scam. I understand how you feel. I was very aware of shopping and email scams, but I never thought there would be job scams. I still do not know if I am angrier with myself or the scammer because this should have never happened. I am disappointed that I did not listen to my intuition because I know it is typically correct. This was a painful and frustrating lesson learned, and I will continue the job search, but not take people at face value and be a lot more careful moving forward.

If you encounter a scam and fall victim to it, please do not think any less of yourself as this happens to many people. As always, I beat myself up for falling for lies from the scammer, which did not help anyone. I realize this could have happened to anyone, but I did learn a valuable lesson and wanted to share this experience to help others not fall for another scam. I hope what I have shared will help you to identify a scam and that you ignore emails, texts, or phone calls. I would love to read your comments and you are free to share any scams you have experienced. I will respond to all comments as quickly as possible.

Always, Alyssa

Midweek Thoughts

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Unfortunately, most disappointments are inevitable, but we can control how we react to these disadvantageous circumstances. It will never be helpful to get overly upset and stressed, as this will only create additional problems in the long run. I would guess this is my reason for keeping my expectations for everything and everyone lower. I believe this is my way to guard myself from pain, but I could be wrong. Disappointments from everyday nonsense are frustrating, but being disappointed by someone you know and care about can be devastating. Overcoming emotional pains, which can include being disappointed and let down by someone close. Although many would assume these issues would get easier, experience has shown me it never gets easier. With the numerous times I have been disappointed by multiple different people, it is still upsetting and heartbreaking. Randomly, I need to remind myself of the importance of self-care, which includes keeping my expectations below typical standards.

Many of the issues I have experienced in my years were due to trust. When I was younger and naïve, I believed everyone was good and that few people had malicious intentions. I was under false and ignorant ideology, but these countless heartbreaking catastrophes taught me to protect myself and be cautious with whom I trust. I am not encouraging anyone to drudge up painful memories from the past because there is no use, and we cannot change what took place. However, it is necessary to sometimes reflect on our past experiences.

Once someone violates trust, this may cause disastrous consequences that can and will take time before you can trust the person again. There is a possibility you may never trust this person again. The time it can take to earn and build trust is a lengthy process but can be lost in a matter of seconds. During your life, how many times have you been able to rebuild trust in another person? Did rebuilding trust take you an extended period? If you could trust the person again, did anything else happen that caused you to lose your trust in the same person another time?

We are all only human, and no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, which is why second changes can be beneficial. Even though most people will learn from their past mistakes and will do better with a second chance, things can go wrong. I am unsure if anyone can answer this question as it might be a case-by-case situation and must be decided by those impacted most. There might not be a right or wrong way with this situation, but it is important not to allow yourself to endure unnecessary heartache and distress. I do often refer to something I heard years ago, and that is, “Fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me.” It is not easy for people to change, but it can happen!

Has there been anyone in your life you gave numerous chances to out of the kindness of your heart, and they continued to let you down? This can be a hard pill to swallow because you want to believe the person would not cause you more emotional pain. You can forgive and allow people the chance to change and be better, but it is like that old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. You can try teaching someone the way they are behaving is wrong, but that does not mean they are going to make the necessary changes to be better. Is there a time when you must let go and remove the person from your life?

Thank you for stopping by my site today. I apologize this post might have appeared negative, but I am only being honest about life and the struggles involved. Even with that said, we are strong enough to overcome these issues and are better because of them. I would love to know what you thought and if you have dealt with anything such as what I talked about and how you managed to deal with the situations. I know how great all of you are and have no doubts you handle anything life throws at you with grace and dignity. I promise to respond to any comments as quickly as possible. Please never forget I am always sending y’all LOTS of love♥, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Grudges and Forgiveness

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Letting go of anger, bitterness, resentment, and grudges is easier said than done, especially when you have been holding onto it for too long. Unfortunately, many of us have been hurt by the words or actions of another during our lives. Maybe this was inflicted by a parent who disappointed or criticized you multiple times or a friend or partner that deceived you, or possibly you encountered a traumatic experience, such as a form of abuse during your life. Deep wounds from the past can create these negative emotions and so much more, but we do not have to be held prisoner by them.

The fact is that holding onto and dwelling on the pain will only cause you more heartache. When you can embrace forgiveness, you will feel peace and less pain. Embracing forgiveness may lead you to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

What does forgiveness mean? The actions that caused you emotional pain may always stay with you, but forgiveness can release and reduce the grip the resentment has on your heart and soul. Forgiveness can give you freedom from the control of the one that hurt you, In time, forgiveness may even provide you with a sense of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the person that hurt you.

When we are hurt by a person that we love and trust, it can be easy to hold a grudge. The feelings that are involved with this grudge can steam from anger, sadness, confusion, resentment, and hostility. Allowing these negative emotions to take hold and derail the positive thoughts can cause you to become overwhelmed with bitterness.

Holding onto a grudge can be toxic and have several negative effects on our lives. A few negative effects a grudge can impact our lives with may include:

~Carry anger and bitterness into new relationships

~You may become so consumed with your anger, you are unable to enjoy your life

~You may experience depression, irritability, and anxiety

~You forfeit valuable and rewarding connections with others

Letting go of a grudge you have carried and moving into a state of forgiveness is a commitment that takes practice and time but may offer you several benefits. Forgiving someone for their wrongdoings does not excuse their behaviors nor does it mean you will forget what happened, but this is necessary for your mental well-being.

A few benefits to forgiveness may include:

1. Building and maintaining healthier relationships

2. Improve our overall mental health

3. Reduce anxiety, stress, and hostility

4. Lessen symptoms of depression

5. Lower blood pressure

6. Maintain a strong immune system

7. Enhance self-esteem

8. Improve heart health

I hope you found this post helpful. I do try to not hold onto grudges, but there have been several times when I have failed miserably. It is not healthy and will only hinder you in life holding onto grudges and resentment whereas letting go and allowing for forgiveness will only free you from the negativity. I do not think it would cause anything negative if we try forgiving those that have wronged us. Again, this does not mean we will forget what happened, but it can allow us to be less burdened with negative emotions!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend doing what brings you the most joy and peace. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. There are many people that I can forgive for what they did wrong, but there is only ONE person that no matter how hard I try, I will NEVER forgive. Even though I am unable to find forgiveness in my heart, I do not allow this person’s wrongdoings to prevent my happiness. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! 

Always, Alyssa

Promises are a commitment

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Promises no matter how big, small, insignificant, or even who it was made with, should be valued and sacred. When we make a promise, we should strive to uphold and honor whatever we promised. A promise does not always have to be with another person. There have been numerous times in my life I made a promise to myself and even though they may not understand, I have made promises to my cats😊! Unfortunately, many people make empty promises, but maybe they have forgotten what a promise is and what can happen when a promise is broken. Through the rest of this post, I will discuss the true meaning of a promise, what broken promises cause, and what all of this means to me.

If you Google what a promise means it shows the meaning as a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing, or a particular thing will happen. I think our promises are giving our word to another and our word is our bond. It has been suggested that people with strong relationships have higher emotional intelligence and tend to be more likely to stay loyal and true to their commitments. Whether the commitment made is to yourself or someone else, making a promise is a commitment that you will keep your word. It is within commitment that reinforces and solidifies trust.

Breaking a promise can result in an abrupt breakdown of trust. A broken promise can be felt as betrayal and disrespect. Not only does breaking a promise disappoint other people, but it can damage your self-esteem. This can tarnish friendships, destroy marriages, and undermine businesses. Failure to keep your promise leads to declines in personal and professional relationships, creates emotional conflicts, you lose honesty, and your relationships are poisoned with doubts and skepticism. There may be lasting anger towards the one that broke their promise and feelings of shame for trusting the person in the first place.

Relationships are built on trust, so before you make any promises make sure so with the intention of keeping the promise. Trust is not easy to build, and it takes time, but it can be lost in less than a second when there is any betrayal involved. I am doing this post because I have learned through the years who I can count on and who will never let me down, but at the same time, I have learned who does not deserve another second chance. One thing that has helped me is to have low expectations for anyone that has a history of letting me down so that I am not disappointed by the same person over and over again.

We have almost made it through this week with today being Friday eve. I will never know how we made it through this painfully long week, but we almost have. Of course, we all are happy that tomorrow is Friday and then we have the weekend to look forward to, which maybe we have plans or maybe our plans are to just rest and recuperate from the week😊, either way, we are strong, and powerful. I think it is important to remind people of this because it can be easy to forget. I hope this post was beneficial to you and helped you to understand the importance of trust and commitment because those are things no one can take away from us.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your week has been great and you are looking forward to the weekend. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Remember to stand up for what you believe in and be true to who you are😊! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, support, comfort, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thought Filled Sunday

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It is a gloomy, but peaceful Sunday. I am not sure why, but I feel chilly and still feel drained from last week. Of course, weekends are “supposed” to be a time to recuperate and prepare for the week ahead, which I tried doing. Unfortunately, I still failed to catch up on the sleep loss from last week. I guess once we are sleep deprived and have missed out on many hours of sleep, we cannot ever get those hours back and we are forced to keep going, no matter how exhausted we feel. I know the end of the weekend is near and another long week is getting closer, but there is still time left for our weekend.

I am going to continue to try doing at least one post each day this week and hope to be successful in doing so. There are a couple of topics I am working on right now and hope to have at least one completed today. One crucial thing I will be sharing information about is the importance of mental health. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I feel this is critical to try to understand this complicated topic. At this time, I only can speak to the fact that the United States has failed miserably in providing care for individuals suffering from mental health issues.

Another topic I will be writing about is the differences between trust and forgiveness. Trust is important and fragile. It can take years to build trust in another person and seconds to break the trust. Once you lose trust in a relationship, there is no guarantee you can trust that person again. If you can work through the lost trust issues and try forming trust again, it takes time and patience. Even when we decide to forgive someone for their wrongdoings and betrayal, that does not mean trust is automatically replenished.

Another topic I would like to write about is the challenges involved in living with a chronic illness without a cure. Sadly, we have genius scientists and doctors around the world, but so many chronic illnesses still do not have a cure. I know this is not 100% true, but in 2022 there seems to be a steady increase in the numbers of illnesses and hardly any headway to curing these illnesses☹.

People should be trying to progress and evolve with the times, but that is not happening. One thing that continues to grow is hatred and mean behavior. When people do not understand the way another person lives, they become scared and decide the way another person is living is wrong and evil. This is a cowardly way to live in the world. It does not matter how another person lives “their” life, as long as they are not causing harm and they are happy, it should not matter or be the business of anyone else!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope your weekend has been filled with everything that makes you happy. I have found it can be complicated to find topics to write about that will be intriguing to everyone, but I am trying. Honestly, some things I write about are to help me process issues in my life. I hope you enjoy the last part of your weekend! I look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Dealing with being let down

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Unfortunately, we have all experienced being let down at least once in our lifetime. Maybe you made plans with a friend for a fun outing together, which you were looking forward to. Then as you were getting yourself ready, your friend calls to back out of your plans because of an unexpected issue. Of course, you were understanding because it was out of their control, but that does not mean you were not disappointed.

As with the scenario when a friend backs out of plans last minute, sometimes things happen, and people get sick. What happens when you worked endlessly on a project at work and you were proud of your accomplishment, but then a co-worker steps in and takes credit for your hard work. In a situation like this, you might feel anger, frustration, and or betrayed.

On an entirely different level, when we learn that someone close to us, such as a significant other, parent, child, or other family member betrays our trust, it hurts on a much deeper level. Even simply learning something new about someone we trusted and care about can be difficult for us to believe, especially when it is something surprising and not in a good way. Situations with people we are closest with can make us feel like our world has been turned upside down and inside out.

Before we have had a chance to make sense of any outside threats, our physiological responses acknowledge the negative situations. The physiological responses are our body’s automatic reactions to stimuli. The release of hormones, the rush of blood through our body and into our limbs, an increased heart rate, and accelerated breathing are all subconscious and out of our control. The only thing we do have control over is our breathing through using long and shallow exhales, which sends our body a message of safety and enables access to higher needed cognitive parts of our brain.

We are all only human and painful emotions are not easy to deal with. As humans, we are hard-wired to want to run as far away from pain as we can. It is in our instincts to try distracting ourselves from the pain in ways that bring pleasure, even if the pleasure is only short-lived. Unfortunately, this can lead us into devastating and disastrous behaviors to numb the pain we are experiencing. There are better and healthier alternatives to try, such as self-compassion practices that allow ways to embrace and understand the pain. This will provide you with a space to be silent and establish lost trust in a temporary safe place until you can understand things clearly.

It is important to carefully listen while your thoughts surface. It can be easy to attach yourself to your thoughts and let them run with their version of the events that took place. This is not going to be a useful thing to do because our minds will naturally find ways to confirm the way we are thinking and strengthen, instead of allowing healing. We must find a way to detach from the story being played out in our minds and be open to further truth and forgiveness.

No one can tell you how you should feel when someone you love lets you down. By practicing the tips shared in this post, you will be able to distance yourself from an emotional reaction and allow the wisdom within yourself to guide you to the best response. Of course, this does not mean you need to forgive or let go of what has occurred, at least not until you are ready to do so. Trust and listen to your heart and mind, as this will typically lead you down the right path.

Although I hope the information in this post was beneficial to you, I also hope you have not been let down too often. I understand how painful it is to be let down by someone you love, but in some way, it will make you a better and stronger person. I would love the chance to read what you thought of this post, and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can.

Thank you for visiting my site today and taking the time to read what I have written. I hope you are having a good week and you are continuing to stay safe. The good news about today is, we are almost to the weekend again. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Different types of Anger

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Anger is an emotion that can touch anyone and everyone at some point in their life. This emotion can intrude on the mind and hearts of even the kindest of people and take control of their life. If not properly dealt with can become one of the unhealthiest types of emotions and destroy relationships. Even though it is toxic, anger is a normal reaction of hostility when there is a threat that another has intentionally or unintentionally wronged you.

There are many different types of anger that I am going to explain through this post. My hope is this can help to identify that type of anger you are experiencing, and it will provide an understanding of the source of your anger, and that will lead to learning ways to not only control the anger but manage it as well.

Out of all the different types of anger, assertive anger is thought to be a productive and healthier way of expression. Instead of avoiding the conversation and being susceptible to outbursts, assertive anger expresses frustrations to discover a positive change or resolution. This could be someone starting a conversation by saying, “I feel angry when or because…” This allows a person to explain their anger in a way that provides positive change instead of creating more negativity.

Destructive anger is a very unhealthy way of experiencing anger and comes with various negative impacts. This falls on the extreme side of behavioral anger. Destructive anger can appear as verbal or physical actions being used to hurt another person. A person might throw or break things that are valuable to the person they are angry with. This type of anger can negatively influence many areas of the person’s life and possibly destroy social connections and relationships.

Behavioral anger can become dangerous and be expressed with violence. This type of anger can lead to destructive anger and be common in men that already have anger issues. Behavioral anger is unpredictable and reckless, which can end with legal consequences. This type of anger can be displayed by intimidating behaviors, throwing, or breaking things, or attacking a person.

Chronic anger tends to be directed towards other people, situations, and yourself. This type of anger can have a profound impact on one’s self-esteem and while not always visible can create a lot of damage. Chronic anger resembles a continual, low amount of anger, resentment, irritation, and exasperation. Depending on how an individual experiences anger, it may be difficult to process and communicate your needs, which can negatively affect your health, levels of stress, and relationships.

Overwhelmed anger can build up over time, especially if you do not find ways to express your feelings. This anger is unpredictable and over time directly and negatively affects your mental health. Overwhelmed anger may show itself once you hit a breaking point, you lose your ability to cope, and the stress becomes too much to handle. This may look like a sudden snap of irritation and resentment that follows a long person of time repressing feelings.

Passive-aggressive anger is one of the most common and avoidable types of anger. The person experiencing this type of anger will express their negative feelings indirectly, instead of discussing them openly. This can be both mentally and physically draining, especially until you can address the way you are feeling. Passive-aggressive anger may also include repressing emotions and waiting to avoid conflicts. Even though the person feels angry and resentful, they will act neutral, pleasant, and happy. This type of anger can be displayed verbally or physically in ways such as silent treatment or sarcasm.

Retaliatory anger is a typical and instinctual reaction when someone feels they are being attacked. This is strongly manipulated by the desire for revenge after being hurt. This type of anger is consciously directed towards the person that wronged you and the need to gain control after an incident occurred. Retaliatory anger can force discomfort and outrage to escalate in relationships, which will only create more problems.

Silent anger is a non-verbal way to experience anger. This can be an internal and external experience. The internal way can be when anger manifests with non-communicated bitterness, resentment, and irritation. This can cause a tremendous amount of stress and tension. Externally, the anger may be displayed with closed off body language and facial expressions. Even though the anger has not been expressed verbally, people may be able to read your body language and know you are angry.

Thank you for visiting my site today. After reading about the different types of anger, were you able to decipher the type or types of anger you encounter? When you experience anger, how do you get it under better control. To be completely honest, I try to avoid feelings of anger, but then they do fester and make things so much more intense. I guess I would fall somewhere between silent and passive-aggressive anger. I hope the last few hours of the weekend are relaxing and help you to be ready for the new week starting tomorrow. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Steps to Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is not always the easiest thing to accomplish. You might feel as though you will never get over the pain someone else has caused with their wrongdoings. Even once the initial and immediate anger lessens, you may dwell on the betrayal you felt, instead of allowing it to fade away and become a distant bad memory.

The challenges that accompany forgiveness are in part because it is not well understood. Many think to forgive someone means you forget what took place or say the pain inflicted was not too bad and not a big deal or you can resume the relationship you once had immediately. None of this is completely true about forgiveness. It is more about letting go of your anger, hurt, and the need to seek revenge.

It is important to understand when we forgive another person for their hurtful, disappointments, deceitfulness, or any other negative act, we are not forgiving them for their benefit, but instead for ourselves. There may be a lengthy process when we decide to forgive, and this process cannot be rushed, or we will never be successful in forgiving anyone.

The first step is to uncover your anger. Unfortunately, in our society and cultures, anger is often hidden until and unless it explodes into full-blown rage. Everyone experiences anger, especially when we deal with betrayal, but many bottles those feeling up and hide them from others, and even from ourselves because we do not want to face things.

It can be scary and take a great deal of courage to be open and honest when it comes to anger. Honestly, I am the type that bottles up my anger until I explode, kind of like if you shake up a coke bottle and then open it. This is never a good situation. Although, as I have gotten older and more mature, I can decide to pick my battles and understand when things are not that important and can be let go of.

To uncover and acknowledge anger from the past and present, it may be helpful to allow your mind to remember what you have tried to forget. Think about and even journal about anger felt during childhood, school life, work, family, friends, and romantic relationships. I know the list might get long and overwhelming, but this can help your mental well-being for your future. Exposing feelings that are deep down will bring emotions to the surface and allow you to work through them.

The second step is the make the decision to forgive. When someone causes us deep emotional pain, it is in our human nature to hold onto that pain and anger as tightly as we can. No matter how much we want to let it go, it might not be the right time because we have not been able to process our emotions completely. Of course, it is not easy to remember that holding onto anger does not harm the other person as much as it does us by causing us more pain and suffering. The hurt and anger we are clenching onto produce many types of stress chemicals that will flood our bodies, causing us to feel physically and emotionally drained, and possibly cause sickness.

The third step is to work on forgiveness. An approach referred to as reframing enables you to look at the original transgression in a new way. There is a chance there were some circumstances you were not able to understand or consider at first. The best course of action is to begin simple and small. In your heart, you may not know how you will forgive the other person. On the logical part of your mind, you can open the door to the possibility that you will be able to forgive in time. 

Some acts are unforgivable such as being physically or sexually abused, or if you were the victim of another type of terrible and or heinous act. I am in no way suggesting anything as bad as these acts are forgettable or forgivable or that the other person deserves a pass because that is far from the truth. However, I am saying you are worth more and that other people will face the consequences of their actions in time, even if it is not in the time frame it should be.

The final step of forgiveness is to be released from the emotional prison we have been in for days, months, or even years. You will be able to understand that you are not alone, and many others have suffered similar situations. There are support groups available for every devastating circumstance in life. It may be helpful to know you are never alone and there are others that can understand and offer advice for how to overcome your pain.

During the final step, it may be useful to see from the experiences in your life, how much you have grown and changed. All the pains and struggles in life have created who we are today and that is something we can be proud of.  As we learn to forgive others for their wrongdoings, we must also learn self-forgiveness. We are not responsible for the pains inflicted on us from others, but we can choose what we will do with the lessons we have learned.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope what I have shared with you today will help you understand more about what forgiveness means and I am sure there are other steps for everyone. What I have shared are just a few steps that I have learned over the years. Please keep in mind, only you know when you are ready to forgive another person, and no one can force you to do so before you are ready. I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond to your comments as quickly as I possibly can. I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Life is complicated

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There have been many challenges we have faced during the past few years. All of this takes a lot of courage, perseverance, dedication, determination, and a great amount of internal strength. I completely understand how this can feel overwhelming and we might want to throw our hands up and give up on what we need and want. Sometimes it might feel like the battle within is too demanding, but if we do everything we possibly can and continue fighting we will eventually win the war.

For all of us that are living with a chronic and incurable illness, the obstacles may seem like they are endless and maybe they are. However, if we do not keep pushing through with all we can, we will never know what we are capable of. I have always believed that behind every door we close, something better is waiting around the next corner. We will not be able to know our full potential if we do not at least try.

All the small or large issues we deal with in life provide us with an opportunity and a learning experience. It might never seem like it at the time, but surviving these issues makes us the strong people we are today. It is crucial to view the struggles we face in life as a building block to the incredibly strong people we were meant to be instead of as an inconvenience.

If you take a few minutes to think about your life, would you be who you are today if it were not for what you have been through? Honestly, I do not know who I would be if I did not have the experiences I did have. Of course, not all our experiences have been pleasant and sometimes we do not want to remember them because they may have been awful. The hardest things we have gone through gave us the most valuable lessons.

You do not have to answer this question but at least think about these questions. What were a few of the most hellacious, painful, and complicated things you have gone through in life, and what did you learn from those experiences? I am not going to go into detail about one of my experiences that was like this, but I will tell you this ordeal taught me to be strong and to never allow anyone to mistreat me. For the most part, we can decide who we allow in our life.

It is extremely important to understand that trust is something that is earned and not given immediately. It is not easy, but we should try to at least give others the benefit of the doubt, but without putting too much trust into that person. The hard part about this is, we are all human and sometimes people will do something to betray our trust. Once trust is lost, it is not easy to get back because it takes a lot of work and healing from whatever hurt the betrayal caused. There is not a timeline to when we “should” heal from times when another’s deception because we are all different and heal in various ways.

It is a little ironic that I started a post about headaches and have been dealing with one ever since. I am hoping for the headache I have had for several days will get better soon, so I can finish the post to share with y’all. I think the information that I have so far will be beneficial to anyone that experiences headaches more than just occasionally. Considering I have been dealing with headaches most of my life, I would have thought I would be used to them by now, but unfortunately, I am not. Even though I deal with pain 24/7 the pain does not stop me from doing what I want in life, but a headache will stop me completely. I guess no one has or could get used to them though.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am sorry that I have been a little absent lately, but hopefully that will change soon, and this headache will go away. I am looking forward to reading your comments, which I will respond to as quickly as I possibly can. Even though I know the COVID cases as decreased greatly, I hope you are all continuing to stay as safe as you can. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Battle For America’s Soul

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I want to give y’all a fair warning before you begin reading this post. It is definitely longer than my typical posts and about something WAY different than anything I have ever written about before. I am proud of what I have written, but it is controversial and I typically tread lightly on this type of topic.

The state of the world has and continues to be engulfed in extremely challenging times. Many of these issues we consistently see have blanketed the world for decades and are not displaying any of the changes we desperately need. Unfortunately, there have been massive levels of deception, hidden agendas, and misinformation shared with us, especially within the government.

While this is an election year, everyone has their own opinion of what is right and wrong. The levels of division throughout the United States, is increasing steadily and continues to bleed into the rest of the world daily. All of the political drama is even creating high amounts of tension and hostility between family and friends. I am telling y’all this and am very ashamed to admit, even though I detest politics, I do have incredibly strong views that are very opposite of some people that I know. Of course, this has caused some frustration and arguments with those who think differently than I do.

We have all heard there are some topics we should avoid discussing with family and friends, which couldn’t be truer. The two main topics that we have been told to avoid are religion and politics. Considering my strong and very passionate beliefs that everyone should be treated equally and with respect, I do not ever allow anyone or anything to sway my thoughts. Maybe I am too passionate about some issues, but that is just who I am.

I have tried the best I can to never to a post that was fueled by politics, but there are only 3 more days until Election Day. This year’s election might be the most important election of our lifetime because the lives of human beings depend on it. The lives of human beings must become a much bigger priority than politics and politicians feelings. Lives need to be more important that wherever you stand politically.

Now is an important time to really think and remember ALL the innocent lives that have been lost under the painfully failed leadership of Donald Trump. How do you think a strong leader should and would respond when faced with a deadly virus? Instead of warning the American people about this virus when he was first informed about it in January, he decided to downplay the virus. He continued saying it was a hoax and not that serious, and never admitted that wearing a mask was crucial. The man that is responsible for the deaths of over 229,000 Americans, still isn’t doing anything to help the people that he “works” for because he cares more about his failing pole numbers. A “man” that cares more about his ratings in an election than he does about the lives of the people he is supposed to protect is NOT a leader!

In my opinion, a strong, compassionate, honest, genuine, and true leader would care far less about being reelected and more about the lives of the people voting. Instead of foolish and immature name calling, a leader should stand up and do what is right! Constantly blaming China and calling COVID-19 the Chinese virus, the president should take some responsibility and admit to the world his wrong doings and fight to make it right. By the president calling his virus the Chinese virus, there are too many Asian American’s being harmed and bullied, which is wrong!

Tuesday November 3rd is the Election Day! Even though the virus causes major concerns for safety, it is SO important everyone find a way to vote this year! I am not and will not tell you who to vote for or tell you who I voted for because no matter where you stand politically, every vote matters. We all have a chance right now to do what is best and needed for the lives of everyone around the world.

Whoever the president is, whether Donald Trump is reelected or Joe Biden becomes the next president of The United States, he will have a huge and awful mess to handle. It is going to require time, patience, dedication, selflessness, and pure determination to recover or at least begin healing from the pain and tragic years we have endured.

Over the past few years it seems like the amount of hatred, disrespect, lack of accountability, division of people, complete disregard for the lives of others, bullying, and many other unkind behaviors are increasing rapidly. While this is happening, the important things in life such as truth, kindness, respect, compassion, and love are diminishing. Now, not as a Republican, Democrat, or Independent, we need to stand together as human beings and DO what is right for the county.

It doesn’t matter if you vote in person or by mail, just as long as your vote is in. The 2020 election is the MOST important election we have ever been part of. I do firmly believe the outcome of this election will make or break the United States. Of course, the United States is not a perfect country, but it has the potential to be much better than it is right now.

I am sorry if any part of this was offensive because that was not my intent. I am also sorry that this post sounded negative, but this is real life and I fear for the lives of other people. It seems pretty clear to me that the president does not care the way he should about human life. In fact, the president is holding rallies for hopes for his reelection and yet not enforcing any safety measures. Many people that have attended these gatherings have either ended up with COVID-19 or hospitalized due to extreme heat or cold, but that does not stop this man.

Whether you agree or disagree with anything I have shared in this post, you are entitled to your opinion. The one thing I know we will all agree on is, lives of others matters and keeping ourselves, our loved ones, and anyone with a beating heart safe MATTERS! Of course, I welcome your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. All I am going to ask is, I respect what your views are, so please respect mine as well.

Thank you for visiting my site today! This was definitely something very different from what I normally write about, but I felt it was time to let my voice be heard. It is time that we all need to unite, despite politics. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa