Motivational Monday!

Monday, gives us a brand new start!

Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a lovely, safe, and relaxing weekend! I know I said I has several posts that I wanted to complete this weekend, but I was honestly so worn out I did not have the energy to provide you with the meaningful writing y’all deserve. I guess I didn’t realize how much working full-time took out of me, but hopefully this week will be easier and I can provide valuable content for y’all to read. I do have several ideas still!

At the beginning of each week, I think we all need a little motivation to get our week started on with an optimistic mindset. The quote I am sharing with y’all today means so much to me, probably because my stepfather has Parkinson’s. I know Michael J. Fox has battled this disease for many years. Truth is, I find how he handles his illness, family, and career extremely motivating and hope it this will provide you with that motivation needed to begin your week! You probably will not be surprised because y’all know I am a very emotional person, but this quote brought tears to my eyes.

I want y’all to know how much I appreciate you visiting my site today. I hope you found something great with the quote I shared and I look forward to your amazing comments. I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Again, I am sorry I did not share anything over the weekend as I had planned. Whatever you did over the weekend, I hope you remained safe. Unfortunately, COVID-19 numbers are not stabilizing, but increasing consistently. Where I live the numbers everyday are increasing in triple digits and there was the first pediatric case in the state I live in.

I know in each of my recent posts I keep encouraging you to stay safe and follow all safety measures with COVID, but I hope you know it is because I care and do not want you to contract this nasty virus. I also know I have made several ugly and snide remarks about the president, but that is because he is up for reelection and I do not agree with anything he says or does. I do not appreciate the way he has handled this deadly virus or the way he calls it the Chinese virus. I find his racists remarks and distasteful comments about human beings very wrong and just plain rude. I can not for the life of me understand how anyone with even one working brain cell can support this man, but I guess it is just because they agree with the racist aspects. In my eyes, we were all created equally and deserve to be treated with the same respect we expect from others.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have a wonderful and safe start to your week. My hope is to be more prepared with posting this week because I love having the opportunity to share beneficial content with y’all. I promise to not make political comments in all posts, but I can’t promise that I won’t encourage y’all to stay safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Feelings that have built up

Beware in advance, I want y’all to know this post is the most personal I have written and extremely emotional. It is also rather long, but not as long as at least one another post.

Everyone’s life unfolds in unique and often challenging ways. No matter how things appear on the outside, no one has the “picture perfect” life. Our lives are full of happy times and hard times, which might not be equal. When someone experiences something that is painfully difficult and they somehow overcome those times, others may not know how in the world they overcame such tragic times and they never ask. How many times have we been asked in life if there was anything we would change? I can recall countless times, but my answer will never change. Anything that occurred in life that was hard, I feel that I am strong because of the hardest times in life and therefore would not change anything at all.

How would you respond if I were to ask you, what would you change in your life if you could? Sure, there are probably hard times you might wish you did not encounter. If those hard times never happened, would you still be the person you are today? Maybe you would, but maybe you wouldn’t. I say this because things I went through in life, I don’t know if I would be who I am if those things didn’t happen.

2020 has been a difficult year so far and we do not know when or if things will improve. I want to believe that what the United States has witnessed will open everyone’s eyes to the state of our nation. We have NOT had ANY leadership over the past three and a half years. We have watched what feels like the fall of a country that was supposed to be “strong”, “fair”, and “equal”. The entire world was exposed to COVID-19 and most other countries acted in a way that protected the citizens when the United States acted late which caused hundreds of thousands of people to unnecessary lose their lives. There is no way to know if the government had acted sooner, those lives lost could have been saved, and sadly that is what these individual’s families must live with.

Unfortunately, there are still way too many people that believe the lies the president says and tweets. These are the same people that follow their “leaders” example and fail to wear masks when out in public and seem to not understand what is meant by social distancing. I guess it makes sense because we all saw the president and the crowd on the 4th of July close together possibly spreading the virus to one another and yet somehow magically neither the president nor vice president seems to get the virus. Y’all already know that I am terrified of the virus and I do have a weakened immune system because of the medication I take for Multiple Sclerosis.

I will say that finally, several states have made masks when out in public mandatory. Those that fail to comply with wearing masks will be fined. I hardly leave the house these days but did go to the pharmacy on Friday. They had in huge sign in bold letters saying that all customers entering the store must wear a mask or they will be asked to leave immediately.

It has also been made painfully clear that the United States has enormous problems with racial injustice and police killing unarmed black people. I am not naïve enough or blind to the fact that not all American’s are treated equally and it makes me feel shame for the country.

All my life I have always treated everyone the same and never judged anyone based on anything besides the way they treated others. I appreciate the beauty in the differences others show and find those distinctions fascinating. I think if we were all exactly the same, this world would be rather boring and we would miss out on some incredible opportunities.

We are already more than halfway through 2020. The news has put a lot of focus onto either COVID-19, politics, police brutality or the latest with the Epstein insanity. For starters, the United States knew about COVID-19 on January 20, 2020, but did not act on it until March. That left about a month and a half for the virus to spread throughout the country. How many months did the president say this highly contagious and deadly virus was a hoax or not that serious? The answer is just simply way too many and it should have been taken seriously starting back in January.

I am sure my feelings are pretty clear throughout this entire post. I am ashamed of how the country I was born and raised in has behaved for the past three and a half years and honestly probably many more. It will not come as a shock to anyone, but I am not and never have been a fan of Donald Trump. I think the way he blames everyone else for what has gone wrong in the world, how he disrespects everyone that disagrees with him and the media for doing their job, the revolting names he calls others, the way he refers to other countries “shit holes”, the way he has absolutely has no respect for the country he represents or the people living there, and so much more than just repulsive. This man cares so much about his pole numbers that rapidly dwindling and of course, he is blaming the democrats, when truthfully it is his own fault.

I think y’all know I always try my best to be optimistic and believe that positive thoughts will lead to a positive outcome. I also know how incredibly negative this post might seem, but these feelings have built up for a while now. I want to apologize if anything I have written was offensive to you and hope you know that was never my intent. I am a very sensitive person so hearing about the countless people that are dying daily because of COVID-19 breaks my heart and tend to have me in tears. Of course, I do not know any of the people that lost their lives to this virus, but they meant something to someone else.

I also have never been a political person and found most if not all politicians to be dishonest. Trump and Pence have proven my views of dishonest politicians. It is hard for me to understand how anyone could know about how many people have died because of a virus and how it would not affect them. It will never make sense to me how anyone that represents a country and not care about the people. How they sleep soundly at night is a mystery to me.

Since the news first broke about Jeffrey Epstein in 2005 it has made me sick. I then read a book by one of my favorite authors, James Patterson wrote about Epstein which made my feelings even more intense. After Epstein was arrested I thought that justice had been made for his victims.

Of course, he ended up committing suicide while in prison which could be viewed as a good thing, but it was an easy and selfish way out for him and his victims did not get to testify and feel the closure they may have needed. The latest with the Epstein situation was his long-term confidant and associate a female was arrested. This woman helped find Epstein young girls to become another victim and she also participated. Any woman that is capable of doing this kind of harm to a young and innocent girl is vile and appalling and should feel shame for the ways they ruined the child’s youth.

I do realize this might have not been the most positive thing I have written, but this is how I feel. Again, I am sorry if I have offended anyone reading this and hope I did not discourage you from reading future things I write.

This post was very personal and full of raw emotions. I do appreciate you taking the time to read and I encourage you to leave a comment, which I will respond to as quickly as I can.

Y’all know I am starting my new full-time, work from home job tomorrow and I plan to continue blogging as much as I can. No matter how busy I get I will continue doing Motivational Monday, Pick Me Up Thursday and Let It Go Friday! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

9 Types of Intelligence

The Nine Types of Intelligence, which are you?

In 1983, a psychologist by the name Howard Gardner published the book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, where he explained his theory that intelligence is not limited to only one factor. Gardner suggests that people are very capable of having different forms of intelligence.

Through the years we have all known people that were exceptionally good in specific subjects, but do poorly in others. Chances are we have experienced this many times during our lifetime. This is a prime example of why schools are not able to determine how intelligent a student is accurate.

The truth is, we are all intelligent in various ways and we may not even be aware of all of them. Gardner’s 9 types of allow us to determine what our strengths and weaknesses are. This will also allow us to focus on specific areas we would like to improve ourselves in.

The 9 Types of Intelligence are as followed:

Interpersonal Intelligence-

Those with this type of intelligence can walk into a room and work the room casually and effortlessly. This happens because these people can relate well with any and everyone. This type of person is often well-liked and can influence others with very little effort. These individuals can read others easily and pick up on the slightest social cues and sense the way others are feeling. Social cues may be body language, facial expressions, and changes in the person’s voice. They have the power to be very diplomatic and tactful but are also commonly the peacemaker in any group they are around.

Considering they have a habitual amount of charm and a natural way to negotiate to mean they could excel in a leadership role being a teacher, lawyer, politician, or social media influencer.

Intrapersonal Intelligence-

People that display intrapersonal intelligence have a unique ability to comprehend their own emotions, which causes them to be empathetic towards others. These people are extremely accustomed to both their thoughts and behavioral patterns. When they see someone else with behaviors similar to their own, they can empathize, see deeper than others, and understand where the actions stemmed from because they have experienced similar issues. Those with intrapersonal intelligence are caring and nurturing, and are frequently the ones that do working allowing them to help others. These people tend to be introverts and shy, but also very aware and creative. People that have intrapersonal intelligence are often writers, artists, and musicians because they connect with features of themselves many are not aware of.

Spatial Intelligence-

Individuals that have spatial intelligence find it easy to visualize things in three dimensions. They are typically extremely creative, have a keen imagination, and can contemplate all aspects of a particular concept by simply pondering about it. Spatial intelligence primarily uses the function of the right side of the brain when solving puzzles, understanding maps, and taking part in any kind of construction or engineering projects. They also love to draw and possibly as the years moved on in life, they developed a fondness for reading mystery books and tried solving the mystery before they reached the end of the book.

Naturalist Intelligence-

Those with naturalist intelligence have consideration to and appreciation for nature. They focus on the way people relate to their natural surroundings. Their admiration for nature provides them with a unique capability to grow plants, vegetables, and fruits. They also have special rapport and fondness for animals and can do well with training and understanding them. People with this type of intelligence can easily differentiate patterns in nature. They tend to have awareness and are fascinated by weather phenomena. These individuals excel with uncovering the wonders nature offers us all. Those with naturalist intelligence love to walk, hike, climb, camp, and feel the sand on their bare toes, and anything else they can do out in nature.

Musical Intelligence-

People with musical intelligence can recognize pitch, rhythm, quality, and tone. This type of intelligence provides unique abilities to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on the music that was demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, and vocalists. There are common connections between musical intelligence and emotions. There are also common ways of thinking between mathematical and musical intelligence. I find it interesting and amazing that some prodigies can play any song by ear and then others that may be synesthesia and appreciate the way different notes make them see/feel color and taste certain flavors.

Logical/Mathematical Intelligence-

This type of intelligence is something that no matter how hard I tried, I never developed. Logical/Mathematical Intelligence is a style that concerns the ability to reason, solve problems, and learn to use numbers, abstract visual information, and analyze the cause and effect of relationships. People with this type of intelligence can do complex math problems in their heads, where many others with the same math problem would not be able to finish even hours later. While people with this type of intelligence expertise in highly advanced reasoning, they normally are not very emotional and prefer for things to be logical and rational.

Existential Intelligence-

Individuals with existential intelligence can utilize collective values and intuition to understand others and the world are around them. They prefer to pursue deeper questions regarding human existence, such as the meaning of life, why we did and where we go when we die, and how did we get here and why are we here. These people could not care less about the latest celebrity gossip, fashion, or sports because they find those topics superficial. People with this type of intelligence are often viewed as intense, but they truly can be sensitive, consideration with an infinite amount of compassion and empathy.

Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence-

It is commonly assumed that people with bodily/kinesthetic intelligence have remarkable athletic abilities, but this is not always the case. This type of intelligence has more to do with hand-eye coordination and being able to utilize various other physical skills than it does strength and endurance. To have a high score with this type of intelligence one needs to have very fine motor control and a good sense of timing. This person’s mind-body connection is highly receptive, which provides them with quick reaction time and the ability to multitask successfully. Those with bodily/kinesthetic intelligence might be dancers, martial arts professionals, fine artists, neurosurgeons, or classical musicians.

Linguistic Intelligence-

The people in this world that have linguistic intelligence can use words very well in both speaking and writing. They tend to have a sizeable vocabulary, they enjoy reading in various literature categories, and they value others that can express themselves meaningfully. These individuals may also have a strong inclination with other languages, typically speaking two or three in addition to their native tongue. Those scoring high in linguistic enjoy and excel in all word games, such as scrabble, word puzzles, and crossword puzzles.

After reading about the different types of intelligence, which of these do you feel you have? I do find it remarkable that there are so many different types of intelligence and yet so many that have a difficult time using just one type of intelligence. I guess it is possible there are some people that have intelligence in several types, but also do not have the common sense that is needed.

I look at the state of our world and wonder why there are so many that not only don’t take the virus seriously, but also gamble with their lives by not wearing a mask. The proof is out there with how much COVID-19 numbers are increasing throughout every state in the United States. Deciding to believe a president over experts in infectious disease indicates a severe lack of intelligence. I am definitely not a genius, but I do take this virus very serious and follow all the safety protocols that have been given.

Thank you for stopping by my site today and reading about the different types of intelligence. I am looking forward to reading your thoughts and what type of intelligence you connected most with. I hope your holiday weekend is starting off well; you are feeling the best you possibly can, and staying safe! I hope you never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Coping with COVID-19 Stress

Learning to cope with the stress of a pandemic

For the first time in 40 years, on June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization declared the start of a flu pandemic. The CDC estimated that between 151,700 and 575,400 people died worldwide from the 2009 H1N1 virus infection during the first year of circulation. This virus was detected first in the United States in April 2009 before quickly spreading throughout the rest of the world.

On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared another pandemic with it being called Coronavirus or COVID-19. Even though COVID-19 was thought to be serious enough for the World Health Organization to declare a pandemic, there were still some leaders that did not heed the warnings and take proper actions.

The same leader or leaders that did not take COVID-19 seriously, spent months saying it was nothing more than a hoax and then claiming it was not even as serious as the normal flu. I find the ignorance and shame it takes to call this deadly virus the Chinese virus simply because it began in China absolutely ridiculous. I mean, no one ever referred to H1N1 as the American virus because it began in the United States, so what gives anyone the right to call COVID-19 the Chinese virus or any other demeaning name they think of?

There is one leader in particular that continues to blame everyone else for the virus but fails to blame the person he sees in the mirror every day for the 129,545 American’s that died because of this virus. Worldwide there have been more than 511,000 people who lost their lives due to COVID-19. We will never know now if only action was taken sooner not as many people would have had to die.

There is no denying the fact that being faced with a pandemic, which has already taken the lives of many, is stressful. Most of us have been overwhelmed with distress and anxiety due to this virus. Although actions such as social distancing are imperative for safety reasons, it can cause additional stress and anxiety from being isolated and lonely.

As we continue undergoing the pandemic of an infectious disease outbreak, there are several other issues that we may experience, including but not limited to the following:

– Fear for your health and the health of your loved ones

– Worry for your financial situation and or job security

– Changes in your sleep and or eating patterns

– Troubles sleeping and or concentrating

– Decline in chronic health problems

– Intensifying issues of mental health issues

– Increased use of tobacco and or alcohol and other substances

Everyone responds to stressful situations differently. Even though we dealt with the H1N1 pandemic back in 2009, I do not remember being as concerned and terrified as I have been with COVID-19. The crazy thing is during 2009, I worked for a hospital system with the Employee Health Department. I had constant interaction with people that tested positive for the flu, but never really worried. Of course, I wore a mask and washed my hands multiple times a day and thankfully never got the flu.

I do realize I am not the only one that remains worried about COVID-10, but I can also understand there is no amount of worrying that will make this situation any easier. Granted even if we lived next door to each other, chances are we wouldn’t be able to see one another and would only be able to offer support virtually. We can do this now and help each other to lessen the massive burdens of stress we are all enduring.

I am going to share a few ideas I discovered that will hopefully help reduce the stress we have all been trying our best to manage.

1. Limit Media Time-

Most people have already proven the ability to practice social distancing to prevent the spreading of COVID-19. With already understanding the importance of social distancing for the good of our health, we should be able to understand why distancing ourselves from the media would be in the best interest of our mental well-being. It seems like the media has 24/7 COVID coverage, which can be beneficial in small doses but can also be very negative causing additional anxiety for those who already had concerns. If you are anything like me (I am so sorry for you), you are already feeling extreme anxiousness. When we are becoming more anxious, we should consider taking a break from all news outlets and the view the news only twice a day at most!

2. Stop Engaging with worry-

Regardless if you are worried about yourself or a loved one contracting the virus or being out of work, the more you focus your attention on the worst-case scenarios, the more anxious and stressed you will feel. Of course, we are not able to stop thoughts from entering our minds, but we can choose to not dwell on those thoughts and instead decide to take action towards solving the problems at hand. I think we are all logical enough to understand the enormous differences between worrying and solving the problems we face. Our mind will often try to bait us into worrying, so we need to avoid taking that bait. Our feelings of anxiety will try baiting us with the many “what if” questions that we need to try avoiding answering because it only leads us down dark and endless roads. During times like these, we need to focus our attention elsewhere and on the more positive aspects. I do know during these stressful times, finding the silver lining might be challenging, but it is there.

3. Do not react to physical symptoms-

Just because you or someone around you coughs does not mean it is because of COVID-19. People have allergies, bronchitis, post-nasal drip, or a common cold and these issues are the much more likely explanation. We all know the seasons can cause numerous issues, so it is best to not assume COVID-19 every time you so much as hear a cough, but being aware of your surroundings and following safety protocols should always be followed. For your mental health and well-being, do not continuously scan your body searching for COVID-19 symptoms. The only things this behavior will do is cause unnecessary worry and intensify our already high anxiety levels.

4. Focus on productivity and newer ways of enjoyment-

Unfortunately, we do not have any control over the crisis the world is experiencing currently and the only thing we can control is our response. How many times in the past were you overloaded with work and maintaining your home, but discovered something new you wanted to try? With how much our everyday lives have changed and we are now living our “new normal”, we might finally through no fault of our own have time for new adventures. We can learn a new skill or fine-tune something we used to do back before life got crazy with work and family. Now is the time to put our attention on creating and accomplishing, instead of the virus and or our employment status.

5. Seize the moment in stress-reducing activities-

There are numerous different things we can try that could help reduce the vast amount of stress we might be experiencing during these trying times. As few ideas may include focusing on the things we are grateful for, exercising our bodies, guided meditation, and yoga are things that may help us relax our minds. Anything we may want to learn can easily be found on YouTube; there are many simple videos to follow along with on just about anything we can think of. Just think, once we are finally past this crisis we will not only have learned something new, but also appreciate all the simple things in life we may have taken for granted before such as dinner out at our favorite restaurant, a night out at the movies, and even something as simple as a haircut.

6. Follow CDC guidelines, but do not go overboard-

Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or sing happy birthday or twinkle, twinkle little star, whichever you prefer. This does not mean washing your hands until they are red and dry. In the event soap and water isn’t available, you can use hand sanitizer containing at least 60% alcohol. Always avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth with unwashed hands. Maintain at least 6 feet between yourself and others outside your home. Wear face covering when around others out in the public. Despite what some might say, it is not necessary to remove all your clothing before entering your home.

7. Maintain a sense of normalcy-

During these crazy times, it may be challenging to continue your day as you normally would with some modifications, so this could require adding a little creativity. Before the pandemic, you may have gone to the gym for your workout, but now you have to work out in your home. Instead of dinner out with friends, maybe you have dinner or drinks by a video platform. Continuing life with a structure to our day and any type of an appearance of normalcy will help reduce any additional anxieties.

8. Show kindness for yourself and others-

During a time of national crisis, it is normal to feel anxious and worried. Remember while you are having these feelings, people you know are probably having the same feelings. Reaching out to family, friends, and neighbors who have been isolated, the same as all the rest of us may need a little boost in their spirits. Sometimes a simple phone call will not only heighten our spirits but also improve the person on the other end of the phone mood as well. If you are currently unemployed because of the pandemic, your new job is to have faith that this storm in life will pass and something new will come along and everything will work out for the best!

I meant to have this post out yesterday, but obviously wasn’t able to. For some unknown reason I had a lack in motivation and also continued getting distracted with many other things. I guess maybe it was the mixture of emotions I am feeling for starting my new job Monday. I am not overly nervous or excited; it is pretty much a good balance between the two. I have been out of work for many months now and honestly I have not ever worked from home on a permanent basis. I know I will be able to handle the work from home status well because I have always been extremely organized and disciplined. I did work in the same industry my work from home job is for several years prior to my husband and I relocated and did very well with it. If I am not mistaken the work I am going to be doing is almost exactly the same, but I have heard from a reliable resource that my new company is far more organized than the company I worked for previously.

Thank you for stopping by my site today and I do hope this information was helpful for you! I did only list 8 possible stress relieving ideas, but I do know there are many more and you probably already have some. I do hope you will share your thoughts on this important topic because it will help anyone that reads this. I hope your week is going well, you are feeling the best you possibly can, and you are continuing to remain safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Wednesday’s Random Thoughts

My Random Thoughts

Happy Wednesday y’all. I hope you are having a great week, you are feeling well, and of course, you are staying safe. I keep telling myself to stop obsessing about new COVID-19 cases in the city I live in, but yet I continue monitoring the massive increases daily. It doesn’t make any sense why I keep doing this because all it does is upset me and keep me stressed. I do not leave the house most days unless it is necessary and when I do, I always wear my mask inside places like the grocery store. It blows my mind how many people do not wear a mask and hardly ever respect social distancing. I am not sure which irritates me more, the carelessness of not wearing a mask, or the complete lack of awareness for social distancing. I was thrilled to hear the city I live in passed a law requiring people to wear a mask anytime they leave the house and will be fined if they do not. I think this should have happened months ago!

Do y’all ever have days when there is so much on your mind and numerous things you want to do, but then feel overwhelmed and do not do any of the things you wanted to? Or when your mind is consumed with things you want to write about, but then you just end up staring at a blank page for hours or constantly erasing what you just typed or wrote? I tend to have days like this a lot and do not know what to do about it. Do y’all have any advice? I may being feeling this way because I have not worked in several months and therefore I am not on any logical kind of schedule, which drives me crazy.

Life can sometimes feel more like a very long and nerve-wracking rollercoaster ride with many added sharp curves and free falls. The moment we think things are getting easier and it is safe to take a deep breath, we face another painful challenge. Sadly, I honestly feel like too much has taken place over the past four months or so and there doesn’t seem to be relief or improvement anytime soon.

I don’t think it would surprise anyone, but what we have witnessed recently has been heartbreaking and terrifying. The other situations that have made the news are things we have known to be hellacious issues for a long time, these mainly being inequality, racism, and pure hatred. Y’all know that I tend to blame negative things that happen on the president and even though things he says might fuel hate and racism, the issues wouldn’t be fueled if the people didn’t already feel a certain way to start with.

No one on the face of this earth has ever gone through a pandemic like the one we are seeing now with COVID-19. I do not even think anyone has thought of something this awful. COVID-19 has put fear in people around the world. Unlike some people in the world, COVID-19 does not discriminate and has affected people from all walks of life.

Even though I am viewing the world in different ways right now, not everything is horrible and stressful. Of course, the issues with the virus do cause me stress and sadness. I hate knowing some people that get this virus will lose their life and their family will have that pain to deal with. And even though I am a small-town girl that grew up in a state with no diversity and moved to a big city with LOTS of diversity when I was 19, racism will NEVER make sense to me. I have always believed that everyone was equal and deserved our respect. With people, the only thing that matters to me is how they treat others and the color of their skin, who they love, who they worship, or anything else that is different from my views does not matter.

Thank y’all for visiting my site today and reading some of the thoughts that have been racing through my mind for a while now. No pressure at all, but I would love to read your thoughts on this post! I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as possible! I hope you are having a good day so far and it continues to be pleasant. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Avoiding Drama

Ways to Avoid Drama

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I personally do not enjoy drama at all! The only drama that is welcomed in my life is from General Hospital, the only soap opera I watch and have watched for many years. I think any other drama is exhausting and completely unnecessary. Many people seem to live and breathe for drama and find life boring when there isn’t any drama in their daily life. I see drama as a useless and immature way to cope with life. Drama only increases the difficult and challenging times and in the end simply isn’t worth it.

With all the other unavoidable hard times we will encounter in life, we all must have a positive and clear mental state of mind. To have a life as stress-free and peaceful as possible, eliminating drama from our lives may be very beneficial, it just involves learning and implementing a few essential skills, which I will share with y’all!

1. Evaluate your circle regularly-

It is obvious, that the people we communicate with and are around most have the greatest impact and influence on our lives and views. It is undeniable the surrounding ourselves with people that enjoy drama and bring a massive amount of it into our lives is unhealthy for our mental state of mind.

It might not be easy to remove people from our lives, especially if they are family, but we can limit our contact with them until they make necessary changes in their life.

When evaluating those we spend the most time with it is important to take our time. There are questions we must ask ourselves, such as are these people positive? Do they cause us to feel good or drained? Do these people bring good or bad in our lives? If we continue answering these questions honestly, we will know what will be best for our happiness in life.

2. Practice the Gray Rock Method-

The gray rock method is a practice used to remove the fascination and entertainment form a narcissist’s life. This is a method used to make someone lose interest in us. You aren’t feeding their desire for drama or attention and they no longer have interest in you.

This method can also work with people who have a lot of drama in their lives, who unintentionally spread it by constantly insisting on the need for emotional support, but never do anything to correct their situation.

The sad truth is, these people typically offer and give next to nothing, but demand our full attention and support. They will make everyone else’s life and problems seem uninteresting and boring and draw all attention back to what they are dealing with, which is probably self-inflicted.

One simple way to handle these individuals is to give evasive answers, never give your opinions, avoid subjects with deep emotions involves, and no matter what they say or do, show no visible emotional reactions. It is also best to not share any personal information that they could use as an angle to work you into drama.

3. Only give advice when asked-

The advice topic can be a touchy situation. No one wants to be told what to do and advice is often unwelcomed unless it was asked for.

If you are the type of person that wants to help others get their lives together, unfortunately, this can be a double-edged sword because even though you only want to help, you can end up trapped in their cycle of drama.

One option for those that simply want to help others is to never advise unless that person asks for it. There are times when we might not fully understand if advice is being requested or they are just wanting to vent, so do not be afraid to ask this person. To avoid being sucked into their drama, make a rule for yourself to only give advice once and only once!

4. Utilize tactful honesty-

People who enjoy drama hate hearing the truth because it clearly diminishes their dramatic situation. It is best to do this tactfully because many people do not listen to things when they are said brutally.

To give tactful honesty, you must remain calm, cool, and collected no matter how much the other person tries to get you to argue. An argument, because you were honest, can be avoided by just not engaging with them. You can also give another tactful response by saying, “You asked for my advice and this was only my opinion.”

“I hate drama”-

People who enjoy drama will show it almost immediately. If someone says to you “I hate drama” or “I do not get along with this person”. Pay close attention before getting too close to them. Both of these phrases show this person has had constant issues with other people before. Many times this person is unaware of their problems with their interactions.

It is common these people continue making bad decisions and surround themselves with toxic people, but you will have the choice to not get too involved.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you and you will be able to distance yourself from any unwanted drama. I would love to read your thoughts on this delicate topic and how you handle it when anyone attempts to bring drama into your life. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Boundaries and how to set them

Do you ever feel trapped within other people’s problems because they constantly lean on you for either advice or help? Do your friends and even family know you will always lend an ear to whatever they are going through, even when it is self-inflicted? How many times has what whoever comes to you with their latest problem or problems did it make you feel an incredible amount of emotional pain that was almost suffocating?

The truth is I have never been able to turn my back on anything that was in distress and needed someone to talk to. It is not in my nature to tell someone I can or do not have time to listen and attempt to help them. Is it even possible to avoid becoming emotionally involved when an individual you care about is struggling? Even though we do always want to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, solicitous, and caring, there can come a time when we need to consider our own well-being over another’s.

I am sure that everyone has heard about the importance of developing personal boundaries and has probably implemented them by now. Even though I am very aware of the fact I need to set boundaries, but I have yet to execute any what-so-ever. I guess the reason I decided to write about boundaries is that I need and want to learn how to set boundaries before losing too much too myself and feeling resentful way too frequently.

We all have our limits to what we are willing and able to cope with, after all, we are only human and unfortunately do not have magical powers. How many times throughout your life have your friends, co-workers, or family pushed far beyond the limits you are willing to deal with? I can say without hesitation that I don’t think I can count the number of times using both my fingers and toes. Once you have been unsuccessful in separating yourself from what others are going through as much as I have, you are going to want to find change. Often the changes we desire to make are not easy and can be outright frustrating, but with enough perseverance anything is possible!

I have heard many people talk about how crucial it is to have boundaries in all of our relationships. With that said, how would you define boundaries? It is my understanding that boundaries are the limits we put in place with other people. These boundaries specify what we find to be both acceptable and unacceptable in the way others behave towards us.

Our capability of knowing our boundaries typically comes from our sense of self-worth or evaluating one’s self in ways that are NOT dependent on anyone else or the feelings others may have towards another. Self-worth is about discovering the natural value of who we are, which helps our awareness of the following:

1. Intellectual Worth which means just like you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions, everyone else is as well.

2. Emotional Worth means you are entitled to your feelings towards any situation, everyone else should be given the same respect.

3. Physical Worth refers to no matter how broad the space is you are entitled to your personal space as do others.

4. Social Worth means just as you are entitled to your friends and the ability to pursue your social activities, so do others.

5. Spiritual Worth means just as you are entitled to your spiritual beliefs, so is everyone else.

To set boundaries it is important to fully understand that four different types which can be defined as the following:

Physical Boundaries are the easiest to define because they are external and seen.

These boundaries can be described as your office, your desk, your computer that is password-protected, and your money in your bank account, your car that is locked, and your body.

Over the years as I got older the one boundary I never had an issue with is my physical boundary. I do not like for people to come too close to me or put their hands on me. Concerning my personal boundaries, before social distancing, I do not want anyone invading the space between me and the length of my arms.

Mental Boundaries are regarding to our personal thoughts.

It is impossible for two people to always agree on everything all of the time. Each individual is entitled to their thoughts, opinions, values, and beliefs. We all want our mental boundaries respected, so we must reciprocate the same respect to others.

I can say that when I am having a conversation with someone that has opposing views than I have, I am stubborn enough to know I will not change my thought process. When discussing something I am extremely passionate about and believe strongly in, I will simply explain my reasoning to the other person and understand everyone is free to have their own beliefs and I will not try changing the other person.

Emotional Boundaries are what gives us the freedom to feel how we feel.

Setting healthy emotional boundaries has two distinct and beneficial purposes. They help prevent us from inflicting others with our emotion and unloading continuously on anyone that will listen, which later we will probably regret doing. Emotional boundaries assist us in managing our emotions in appropriate and healthy ways.

The other aspect of emotional boundaries is they prevent us from taking on and carrying other’s emotions that constantly share. The emotional boundaries we put in place are meant to disconnect our emotions from another person’s emotions, which is where I consistently fail. If someone close to me is struggling and distressed, I want more than anything to be able to help them with love, empathy, and advice. It is painfully difficult accepting that I can’t help or force them to do things I think are mortally right, they are the only person that can help themselves through their problems.

Spiritual Boundaries are protecting our beliefs and regarding to our sense of spirituality.

We are all entitled to believe in what we feel and we should never dismiss what anyone else believes, as no one else should dismiss ours.

Our personal boundaries come in three distinct categories which are defined as:

1. Healthy Boundaries meaning not only does a person value their opinion, but also do not compromise their values for anyone else. They are also welcoming and accepting when others say “NO” to them.

2. Rigid Boundaries are when a person avoids both intimate and has very few close relationships. Typically never asks for any help and often seems to be detached. Those with rigid boundaries distance themselves from others to avoid rejection.

3. Porous Boundaries are when individuals share too much personal information. Not only do those with this form of boundaries have a hard time saying “NO” to other’s requests, but they also become overly consumed with the problems other people are going through. These individuals tolerate abuse and or being disrespected.

If you already have established boundaries in your relationships, that is great and I applaud you for that. On the other hand, if you are like me and want to set boundaries in place for your well-being, I am glad that I am not alone and we can tackle this together. I have found various ways to implement boundaries, but I figure it is best to start easy. I am going to share the four simple steps for straight-forward boundaries.

1. Understand and recognize your limits-

Clearly describe your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries with all your relationships first. Take the time to scrutinize previous experiences when you felt unsettled, irritated, bitter, resentful, and or disappointed. It is reasonable the reason we felt this way was a result of your limits being violated.

2. Be assertive-

Taking time to create and explain your boundaries is a step in the right direction, but maintaining follow-through is also critical. When someone invades our boundaries the only they are going to know is if we are direct and assertive with that them.

3. Practice makes perfect-

Being assertive may not come naturally to you because you are worried people will view you as mean and or rude. When we confirm what our boundaries are it shows that you value yourself, your needs, and your feelings more than what others think. It does not indicate you are being rude or even mean when you are assertive; it actually means you are being honest and fair with the other person.

4. If all else fails, delete, ignore, and move on-

Of course, we need to voice what our boundaries are first and then follow an action plan. You do need to tie up any loose ends and given family, friends, co-workers, and whoever else about the cease to any promises previously made, and you no longer owe them anything more. Once you asserted yourself and made things crystal clear, if they choose to violate your boundaries, it is perfectly acceptable to simply ignore them.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information provided was beneficial for you. Life is short and being constantly consumed with everyone else’s problems can be draining. I am hoping that developing boundaries, I will be less stressed and frustrated with the problems I hear about. I would love it if you have any other advice for anyone that wants to develop boundaries, you will share your knowledge! I hope your weekend is going well and you are staying very safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

National Migraine & Headache Awareness Month, Part 1

June is National Migraine and Headache Awareness Month. For June, the goal is to raise awareness, further educate those unaware about migraines and headaches, and show support to those that deal with these issues. Due to the vast about of information and to try to maintain length, there will be other posts with even more information about migraines and headaches.

Migraines are the third most common disease globally estimating 14.77% of the world’s population suffers from migraines. Approximately 38 million United States citizens deal with this pain. Of the American’s that battle with migraines, about 85% are women. The vast majority of migraine sufferers experience an episode once or twice a month, more than 4 million others endures chronic daily migraines. It is an exceedingly debilitating condition causing not just a simple headache but can come along with nausea, vomiting, visual disturbances, utmost sensitivity to sound and, light and tingling or numbness in the face. Nearly 25% of migraine attacks may include an aura, which is a visual disturbance that lasts less than an hour.

Unfortunately, children can be affected by migraines. Of the children that experience migraines they typically have their first episode before age 12. Even though at younger ages boys suffer more from migraines than girls, once in the adolescent year’s girls end up dealing with migraines more than boys of the same age.

Migraines are a crucial public health concern, but they continue to be misunderstood, under-diagnosed, and under-treated. More than half of migraine suffers are never diagnosed properly. Many that suffer do not pursue medical attention for their pain because like individuals battling other chronic illnesses, there are extremely high costs for medical services, minuscule support, and restricted access to proper quality of care.

While we are in National Migraine and Headache Awareness Month it is important to recognize the International Classification of Headache Disorders, published by the International Headache Society, which used to classify more than 150 types of primary and secondary disorders.

I will begin with primary headache disorders which are divided into four groups:

1. Migraines- I briefly touched on this at the beginning of this post, but allow me to give a slightly deeper description. A migraine headache is distinguished by throbbing and pulsating pain caused by an activation of nerve fibers residing within the walls of the brain blood vessels that travel within the meninges. Just to quickly explain, meninges are the three membranes lining the skull and vertebral canal and encloses the brain and spinal cord.

Migraine headaches are repetitive episodes of throbbing pain ranging from moderate to severe in intensity. These typically affect one side of the head at a time. If an episode goes untreated it can potentially last anywhere from 4-72 hours.

Various factors can trigger the migraine cycle to begin and could differ from person to person, but may include sudden weather or environment changes, too much or not enough sleep, strong fragrances, emotion, stress, overexerting yourself, loud noises, motion sickness, low blood sugar, skipping meals, tobacco, depression, anxiety, head trauma, hangover, certain medications, hormonal changes, and bright or flashing lights. The cause in 50% of migraine sufferers were foods and ingredients. A few examples of the foods and ingredients that can trigger a migraine are aspartame, caffeine, or withdrawal from caffeine, alcohol, chocolate, aged cheeses, monosodium glutamate, numerous fruits and nuts, fermented or pickled goods, yeast, and cured or processed meats.

The four phases of a migraine, which all can be apparent during an episode, are:

1. Premonitory symptoms occurring up to 24 hours before developing a migraine. These symptoms can include food cravings, incomprehensible changes in moods, unmanageable yawning, fluid retention, and escalated urination.

2. Auras occur in some people causing them to immediately before and during the migraine see flashing or bright lights. Other people may experience muscle weakness or a feeling of being touched or grabbed.

3. Headaches can start and gradually build in severity, ultimately becoming a migraine. However, it is possible to suffer a migraine without a headache.

4. Postdrome can occur after a migraine, which is when someone feels exhausted or confused. This phase can potentially last up to 24 hours before the individual feels healthy again.

Besides the two main types of migraines, I will provide details on; there are eight others forms people may experience. I will share only the names of the additional types in this post but will do another post with the details in the next few days. The eight other types of migraines include Abdominal migraine, Basilar-type migraine, Hemiplegic migraine, menstrual-related migraine, Migraine without headache, Ophthalmologic migraine, Retinal migraine, and Status Migrainosus migraine. The following are the details regarding the two main migraine types.

1. Migraine with aura, also known as a classic migraine. Symptoms can show about 10-60 minutes before the headache begins and last no more than an hour. The symptoms may include visual disturbances, difficulty speaking, numbness, or muscle weakness on one side of the body, a sensation of tingling in the bands or face, nausea, loss of appetite, heightened sensitivity to light, sound, and smell.

2. Migraine without aura also knows as a common migraine. The symptoms with this type include headache pain that happens without warning and typically felt on one side of the head, nausea, confusion, fatigue, blurred vision, altered moods, and an intense sensitivity to light, sound, or noise.

The most common type of headache is a tension headache, which was previously known as a muscle-contraction headache. This type of headache suggests the role of stress and mental or emotional pain triggers pain and contracting muscles in the neck, face, scalp, and jaw, missed meals, depression, anxiety, not enough sleep, or sleep apnea.

The pain that accompanies tension headache can range anywhere from mild to moderate and anything in between. Typically this feels like constant pressure is being forced onto the front of the face or to the head or neck. It can also feel like something is being tightened around the head and is felt on both sides of the head. Those that suffer from tension headaches may become very sensitive to light and sound, but do not go through the pre-headache aura that comes along with migraines. Tension headaches will begin to fade once the period of stress or other related causes ends.

Tension headache tends to begin during adolescence and reach the utmost activity in the 30’s. These headaches do affect women somewhat more than men.

Tension headache has two different forms:

1.Episodic tension headaches happen between 10 and 15 days each month and can last anywhere between 30 minutes to several days. Even though the pain is not disabling, the intensity of pain tends to increase with the regularity of the episodes.

2.Chronic tension headaches often happens more than 15 days monthly over 3 months. The pain involved with this form of headache is consistent over days or even months, it is felt on both sides of the head and can become extreme and disabling.

Both depression and anxiety can be the source of tension headaches. These can occur in the early morning or evenings when conflicts at home or work are expected. The various other causes include posture that strains the head or neck muscles, degenerative arthritis in the neck, and temporomandibular joint dysfunction.

Cluster headaches are the most extreme form of primary headaches. This form of headache involves unforeseen, exceedingly painful headaches occurring in clusters. They typically occur at the same time of day and night for several weeks at a time. Cluster headaches affect one side of the head, frequently behind or around one eye, and may lead up to migraine-like aura and nausea. The pain involved peaks 5-10 minutes following the onset and persists at the same intensity up to 3 hours. Some will endure restlessness and agitation, changes in heart rate and blood pressure, and increased sensitivity to light, sound, or smell.

Cluster headaches can start at any age but typically begin between 20 and 50 years old. This form of headache commonly affects that smoke more than those that do not smoke and is seen more frequently in men than women. Cluster headache episodes do not last as long as migraines. Ordinarily, people will have 1-3 cluster headaches a day, with 2 cluster periods yearly, possibly separated by months free from any symptoms. Cluster periods are commonly inaccurately thought to be allergies because they do occur seasonally, normally in the spring or fall. It has been suggested that inconsistencies in the body’s sleep-wake cycle could be a cause of cluster headaches.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am sorry this post was so incredibly long, but there is a lot of important information that needs to be shared. In my next few posts I will explain the miscellaneous primary headache forms, secondary headache disorders, treatments and diagnostics. I do hope the information in this post was helpful and offered some sort of comfort. Personally, I deal with migraines and tension headaches far too much and understand many others do as well. I want to encourage your comments because I know they will be amazing and even help others, including myself! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Open letter to the president, vice president & other leaders

open letterThis post is my open letter to the current president, vice president, and other leaders. I am sorry in advance if what I have stated creates any ill feelings, but this is the way I feel about things.

To the president, vice president, and others in power,

While the world has been under attack from a deadly virus, shouldn’t you be protecting and defending the country and people you represent? Are you unable to see the damage you are doing daily? You were made aware of the virus that has caused extensive turmoil long before you bothered to act on it. We have all been terrified of this virus and those, like myself with a compromised immune system have lived in fear for months. 

How long did you say COVID-19 was a democratic hoax or not all that serious? You tried blaming everyone but the person you have to see in the mirror every day. Do you think if you acted like a president, a real leader sooner, lives could have been saved? Instead of thinking of your presidential duties as a TV show, you should be thinking of the lives you have endangered. Instead of leaning on Twitter and calling journalist fake news, you should be behaving in a much more mature manner instead of the childish ways you are.

Three and a half years into you being the president of the United States, you still feel threatened by our previous president. You are even trying to blame your failures on him and why? Obama was not perfect, but he did care more about American lives that you ever have.

I am not saying things would have been drastically different if only you acted on the information you were provided because we will never know now. It is obvious you somehow have supporters and those people listen and believe your lies. Too many followed your idea about ingesting disinfectants, which cause chaos. The people that believe what comes out of your mouth isn’t necessarily your fault, they are just ignorant and unable to think for themselves.

What I would like to ask of you is to please start thinking about the millions of people you represent. Start putting our needs above your egotistical mindset. You are currently the president of the most powerful country in the world, so start acting like it. Yes, COVID-19 did begin in China and yet the numbers of cases and deaths in the United States are higher than any other country in the world because of you. We are not able to go back in time to repair the numerous disturbances and lives destroyed because of your inability to act as you care about anyone besides yourself. You can start today treating people like they matter. You can start to have respect for journalists that are just doing their job. You can start being a president!

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading my extremely frustrated letter to thosewe are in this together in power. Again, I am sorry if anything I wrote offended you. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and if you do feel the president is doing well for the people and country that is your choice and I can respect that. I only hope you can respect my feelings and thoughts on how much damage has happened to the country and how many lives were impacted by things not be handled immediately. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Breakthrough the Barriers of Social Distancing

92101563_1597447863745824_3525203181490511669_nIt was not that long ago when simply going to the grocery store did not involve the fear of a new and potentially deadly virus. For the past several months we have been faced with a world-wide pandemic, stay at home orders, businesses closing their doors (hopefully temporarily), job losses, widespread fear for our health, mask, and gloves for protection, social distancing, and many other issues that have caused panic. Truthfully, I can’t even remember the last day I wasn’t terrified to leave the house or when social distancing was not practiced by most people and then getting frustrated when some do not respect the social distancing.

I feel confident saying that while I do understand the reasons behind social distancing, it Screen-Shot-2020-04-01-at-2.23.33-PMhas been very challenging and isolating. Granted, I do have my husband and two cats home with me (24/7), but let’s face it being home all the time with no changes can make anyone get irritable. I do love my husband and cats dearly, but sometimes I need a break.

I have found some ideas for activities that could help heighten our moods and encourage Boost-your-moodmotivation.

  1. Express and stay in touch-

Acts of kindness should always be something we try doing. With all everyone around the world is dealing with today a simple email or handwritten note to someone you know could offer a positive boost to their day. Think about memorable previous bosses or co-workers and send them a note. I know some previous bosses we were glad to be rid of, but I know I have at least one that I still miss and really enjoyed working with her. This person’s name is Mary Close Hall and she really was amazing! Offer to go to the grocery store or pharmacy for an elderly neighbor that struggles with getting out of the house during normal times. While in a store, either for yourself or a neighbor, thank those on the frontline and essential workers for what they are doing for the community.

  1. Stay connected digitally-Resources+2

Today’s technology has had extensive changes over the years. Millions of people around the world already rely heavily on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The social media platforms offer positive ways to stay connected virtually, while we continue to practice social distancing. People from various locations can interact with one another face-to-face, well a better way to say it is screen-to-screen. The possibilities are endless to stay connected safely with family and friends.

  1. Discover your creativeness-

creativenessTasks that are repetitious such as knitting or crocheting can create a meditative state of mind and relaxation in the body and brain. These meditative and relaxed feelings have also been known to decrease worry and negative thoughts. You do not need to have or run out and buy needles, crochet hooks, and of yarn there are many other forms or art that can reduce anxiety and even be uplifting for our moods.

  1. Learn a new language-language-2

While we are stuck at home with very limited interaction with others, we can be getting prepared for future travels. There are numerous apps and YouTube videos to help teach us a foreign language. We can make the most of the times of isolation and be thankful for the time we had to learn something new!

  1. Become Cultured-

WHAT'S_YOUR_LIFE_EXPERIENCES_SCORE-_(2)Now is a great time to explore art institutions and cultural events virtually. Back when things were not so complicated, did you ever think of or find the time to visit a museum virtually? I know that it never crossed my mind to expand my worldly knowledge from my living room, but now we all can try this. Google is a fantastic tool that can act as our tour guide to these exciting new experiences.

  1. Passion Projects-passion-project_4x

Is there anything you have wanted to try, but never found the time to do so? Maybe you want to write a short story, or a book, or learn more about your ancestry. Now is a good time to pursue these projects you have thought about for so long. While we are stuck at home and feeling beginning to feel anxious, diving into a long-term project can offer us a sense of purpose.

  1. Attend a virtual class or event-

physicalMany local attractions and studios are becoming creative and offering options for enjoyable free and digital experiences. I am listing a few free options for you and your family to check out and hope you enjoy them!

https://www.facebook.com/philadelphiazoo/

https://www.amrevmuseum.org/education-museum/students-and-teachers/virtual-field-trip

https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en&tab=pop

https://www.instagram.com/artwellphilly/

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/travel/a31784720/best-virtual-tours/

These are just a few examples of fun things we are able to do from the safety of our we are in this togetherhomes. Do you have any other suggestions of things we are able to do from home? I would love to read your thoughts and any advice you might have!

downloadThank you for visiting my site today. I hope your day is going well and you are feeling the best you can. Please continue to stay safe and take care of your health! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤