Two weeks has past!

Time-for-an-UpdateGood evening y’all! It is incredibly hard to believe that it has already been two weeks since my husband and I uprooted our lives by moving to a new state and city! Two weeks ago when we made this change I was terrified about the decision we had made, but now I couldn’t be happier we made this fabulous move! I think the new city and my new job have done so much for the sanity I still had left and my massive stress-levels. The new city is a little smaller than where we were living and so far the people are a lot nicer.

My new job has so far been absolutely amazing and the people are SO very kind, which is a huge change for me. I mean don’t get me wrong, there were a few people at the old job that were great, but the bad definitely out-weighed the good there. My new boss is an older man who stays very busy with good things comenumerous meetings and tasks, but when he is in the office he is super kind and willing to answer any questions I might have. So far, my job has been very interesting! I have been learning about what my job entails and how to maintain a schedule for the VP of Finance. There is so much more to this job that I am very excited to learn. I am thrilled that I am going to be traveling with a co-worker for a week of training out of the state. This training will make me become a Certified Housing Counselor. I am looking forward to the chance to build relationships with the home buyers and feel that I will be able to offer a lot of compassion and understanding during a stressful time for them.

I work with so many incredibly nice and understanding people. Of course they only have one name to remember, where I have about 20. Thankfully, everyone is extremely understanding when I have to ask their name again, which has really only happened once or twice. empathy

The moving process was stressful and a lot of hard work, which caused me a great deal of fatigue and pain. I wasn’t the best with resting because I just wanted everything done and organized immediately, which is impossible. It has only been recently I decided that we have plenty of time to get things situated in the new home. There doesn’t need to be a rush on things because thankfully time is on our side with the new house. The only thing that is important  and time sensitive is we MUST get our old home ready to be sold and hopefully sold sooner than later! I look forward to the day we get a phone call saying we have an offer on the house! I am logical enough to understand it will take time before the townhouse actually sells.

As y’all already know, I am trying to find my way to continue blogging because I really do love it, while working a full-time job, which I haven’t done in a long time. This process is afinding-my-way-text-893x1024 trial and error situation, but I am determined to make this happen! I know many people probably will never not fully understand this, but I find writing and blogging a great way to reduce any stress I am feeling. I think most of y’all already know that I battle with stress issues, but I am working to improve this. I think being a walking/talking stress case for 37 years is long enough and now it is time to change my ways.

I do believe that my new job is improving my stress because it is a wonderful place to work. Please know, I am working on getting caught up with reading and commenting on your posts, while also working on my own blogging thoughts. I appreciate all the encouraging words y’all have shared with me over the past weeks and I am looking 6a014e601f2a5b970c014e887a4cfb970d-600wiforward to getting back to a semi-schedule with my site.

I hope y’all have had a great day and I really hope you are feeling well. I am honestly struggling with some pain issues at the moment, but it is possible it is due to the rainy weather☔. I know it is going to be rainy for a few days with the hurricane heading towards Florida and even though I am a few states away from Florida, we are still expecting a lot of rain🌧. My body doesn’t appreciate or tolerate rain very well, but I am going to keep a strong hold on positive thoughts because I think that is important. In a matter of days the rain will pass and hopefully the weather will be calm!

I want to thank you for visiting my site this evening and I do hope you have a lovely evening! I will do my very best to respond to any of your comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa ❤

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Prisoner of my own body

prison bodyIn a previous post I shared with y’all that my recent MRI results showed improvement and there were NO new lesions, which is great news! I felt so incredibly relieved with these wonderful results, but for some reason which I am sure is probably stress related, I still feel an incredible amount of pain and burning in my legs/feet. This pain and burning sensation is constant and unrelenting, which is nothing more than frustrating.

Trying to continue doing all that I want and need to do become trying because it seems like not much really help the issues I continue to struggle with. I feel that my body is trying to hold me as a prisoner from my own illness. Isn’t there normally parole from prison? Unfortunately parole has not been offered to me, so maybe that means I have not stay in painshowed good behavior! I know I do not listen well to my doctor (whom I do my best to avoid to at all costs), but I also continue to ignore the advice from the Nurse Practitioner (NP) that I actually like and respect, considering she worked closely with my first specialist that I just loved! During the MRI results reading with the NP, she encouraged me once again to try things to reduce my stress, considering she seems to believe that is where my pain is stemming from. I am do not agree with her completely on this, but maybe she is right.

Avoiding stress in the world we live in seems completely impossible to me, but maybe and not very likely I am wrong. I mean you are not able to turn the TV on without interruptions from the government, spewing nothing but lies! It is impossible to be out stress everywhereamong people without one them mentioning some lie they heard on the news that they of course believe. Avoiding stressors that I have been aware of for a long time is possible, but then through no fault of my own they seep through and then cause me nothing but frustrating feelings. I have even tried to ignore the stress-factors, but all that does is bottle up hostile feelings which tend to come out in rather terrible and unhealthy ways!

Now considering my MRI results indicated improvement, I am left to wonder if the pain and burning sensation that will not let up is just my life. This is what makes me feel that I am nothing more than a prisoner in my own body. How do you break-free when nothing seems to help? All that seems to be happening is the walls are growing taller and more impossible to escape from.light

Even though the issues I continue to face are frustrating, I will continue searching for the light I know is there somewhere. There must be an end to the pain and burning sensation and in time I am sure I will figure it out. However, by the time I figure out ways to end the pain and burning I am probably going to be very elderly and in an assistant living home, in which they will have to deal with me! I definitely feel bad for those individuals! 

I would like to thank y’all for stopping by my site today. I always appreciate you reading my thoughts for the day and leaving your amazing comments! I hope y’all have had a nice day and I hope you are feeling well. Please remember that I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can, as I really do enjoy the open communication we have. As always I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Amazing benefits of Yoga!

good morning butterflyGood morning y’all! I hope your week has started your week off on a good note and you are feeling well today! I hope y’all have a lovely day and continue feeling the best you possibly can!

This past Sunday I received an amazing yoga tip that can be done at my desk at work from a fabulous fellow blogger! ❤Heather & Dizzy from https://dinosaursdonkeysandms.com/ sent me a YouTube link for a short yoga option that can be done easily at work! It is easy and incredibly helpful. Not only do I encourage you to check out Heather & Dizzy’s site, but please check out this short yoga video. I tried it at work on Monday and was shocked on how much it helped! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAUf7aajBWE

Both Heather & Dizzy have been doing yoga for some time now and knew how much Itransform your health really wanted to give this a try! The two of them share great videos showing just how easy yoga can be. Dizzy ❤is adorable with all her honest efforts and I know that Heather ❤will give Dizzy her favorite treats, ginger cookies!

So not just those of us living with a chronic illness, but everyone could benefit from practicing yoga. There are so many positives to trying this, with no negatives that follow! I think the improvements practicing yoga can provide us can and will be a benefit to our health!

5b25d83cf185a54b8dbe00c0871a5ae2The video I did while at work on Monday (the same one I shared with y’all) was relaxing and allowed the pain in my body to ease up some, which was wonderful! As I discover more easy-to-do yoga videos, I will continue to share them with y’all and if you know of any, please share them with me. I am really trying to find more ways to help me relax and therefore reduce the levels of stress I tend to feel daily!

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today and I do look forward to reading your comments! I do promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can! Again, please if you have not already viewed💞 Heather & Dizzy’s site, stop by their amazing site as I am more than certain you will find Heather’s personality and humor very encouraging and contagious! Thank you again Heather💞 for all of your kind & encouraging comments & your amazing advice about yoga!  Always remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort! 

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Result are finally in!!

drum-roll-pleaseGood evening y’all! I hope you had a great day and you are thankful tomorrow is Friday, I know I am! I have definitely had a long week because I was so stressed about what my MRI results were going to show. I can honestly say that worrying and stressing did not change the results!

I am beyond happy to share with y’all that the MRI I had on Friday was MUCH better than the one I had last October. In October, in the words of my neurologist, my brain was on FIRE with many new and very active lesions. That was terrifying for me to learn as I am sure it would be for anyone, but the one I just had improved drastically. The numerous good resultslesions that were causing all my issues last year have healed as much as they are going to! My absolutely fabulous NP was so happy to see how much better my MRI was on Friday in comparison to how horrible it was last year! She told me and my husband how surprised she was to see how much I have managed to improve in just ten short months! She also said that it seems that Gilenya is just the right MS drug for me! I told her that I have NO intentions of changing stress-effects-fbmedications again until there is a cure! I am not preaching that everyone should be on Gilenya because we all have different body chemistry. What works for me might have the adverse effect on someone else. 

We did talk about the dizziness and pain I am still dealing with. She has said to me many times before that she thinks that my pain could be caused from the stress I seem unable to control. We have all heard many times that stress is a killer and I do really believe that! You know there is an app for everything, but she shared an app with me about stress and MS. I am going to give it a chance, I mean it can’t hurt anything!stress is the cause This app is available for iPhone and Android under the play store, it is called ImageryWork. There is also a website if you are interested, Imagerywork.com. I have known for a long time that I needed to get a handle on my stress because I have felt what it does to my body. It will be SO INCREDIBLY wonderful if controlling and managing my stress will eliminate the majority of my pain! I think I have lived with this pain for way too long and maybe there is something I can do to help it!

There are a number of reasons I could be experiencing dizzy spells. One the she really pushed on me was eating more! Both her and my husband dizzinessthink I should try eating 4-5 smalls meals each day, which I never do! I am going to try having small snacks throughout the day and not worrying about whether it is healthy or not and if I am going to gain a lot of weight! Weight has always been a huge worry of mine and I know how stupid that is in the big picture. Truthfully, I am NOWHERE near being overweight, in fact I am underweight according to the NP. 

So, I guess what I learned today is all the issues I am having, like increased pain and dizziness is my own fault. I am going to work on making the necessary changes to mytrytobea-min health so I will actually feel normal, whatever that is! All of the support and encouraging comments I have received from y’all have been SO appreciated. Y’all helped me through a very difficult time, which I guess I kind of caused. I really am very relived that my MS is not progressing like I was thinking and that the Gilenya is doing it’s part for me!

I hope y’all have a wonderful and relaxing evening! Please always know that no matter what I might be dealing with, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

Brain MRI Day

good afternoonGood afternoon y’all! I hope your weekend is starting off wonderfully! Last night I was able to have my much-needed and dreaded brain MRI. Even though over my 18 years with Multiple Sclerosis I have had SO many MRI’s, I was still extremely nervous! However, if I am being 100% honest I am WAY more nervous about getting the results next week! The waiting period will be brutal because my mind will go in a million different directions and most of those directions lead to the negative thoughts. I am trying to be logical, which is not always easy for me because I know there is no amount of stress or worrying that will change what these results are going to show and all that worrying will just add stress to my life leading to even more PAIN!  

With all the MRI’s I have had in my 18 years with Multiple Sclerosis, this one was just of the brain. It was not long at all and the two MRI techs were absolutely amazing. One of them was the same tech I have had several times before, so it was not scary at all. It was pretty funny because Radiologythe one I have seen many time previously said to me, “Alyssa, do you have any questions before we get started?” Before I was even able to speak he said, “You know I can not tell you anything because this needs to be read by the Radiologist and I just do not have that type of knowledge. Now you also already know you can go online in a few days and read the full report.” I do tend to always ask at the end of the test if they saw anything like lesions. I hate waiting to see the doctor and I know the techs can see the images and probably have a somewhat educated guess on what they are looking at. My goodness they are so stubborn about sharing any news with me which I kind of think that is just mean, just kidding! He did make one funny remark by saying he was happy to announce that I do still have a brain!

For some reason today I am in so much pain, but I am doing my best to just rest. I do tend to use my Saturday’s as a day of rest and anything I think needs to be done waits until Intraoperative-MRI_Joyce_690x380pxlSunday. More than likely the reason for my pain is due to stressing about the MRI and also the argument I had with my mother on the way to the MRI. Isn’t it funny how when you are stressed about something all it takes is one comment to make the calm barriers fall down hard? The smallest of disagreements can turn into a disaster! I am not proud of this, but I am very strong in my nature and can have a hot temper when provoked. Anything I am really passionate about causes me to protect and defend it to the fullest. I will say things I mean, but it will come out in a very hostile manner. I do also believe that anything that happened yesterday is in the past and can not be changed, so all you can do is move on with life and hopefully be less hostile, but we will see about that!

Thank you for visiting my site today and I hope y’all have a great and restful weekend! IHappy-Weekend.-Do-what-makes-you-smile-and-be-happy will do my best to stay calm and definitely not continue thinking about “what” the results are going to tell me on Thursday. I think the only thing I can do between now and Thursday is keep my mind busy by thinking about only the positives aspects of life! Even though those positives can be hard to find because of all the negative in life are still there! Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

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❤Always, Alyssa❤

What are the struggles & benefits of living with a chronic illness?

Struggles and benefitsThe struggles of living with any chronic illness are numerous and endless. So many chronic illnesses come with various issues that might be difficult to treat, which can and does lead to SO much frustration. Through many visits to several different doctors, we are caught up in SO much medical debt, because the United States does not offer free healthcare like ALL other developed countries offer! For instance, I am required to see my MS Specialist to try slowing the progression of my illness down, but have to see another specialist to treat the pain issues! It does not make any sense to me because the pain is a direct result of the MS, so why it is my MS specialist can not treat the pain as well? Oh that’s right, because there is an opioid epidemic so anything related to pain needs to be monitored by a painchronic-pain-chain-diagram specialist who only sees me for 3-5 minutes every 2 months! Do you really think the pain doctor actually specialized in pain or they just could not hack it with being a real doctor? That might sound a little cruel as I am sure this “pain specialist” passed medical school, but seriously there are no medical schools out there that really specialize in pain!

Another struggle those of us that are living with a chronic illness faces is dealing with the dreaded insurance companies! We all know these insurance companies only see $$ dollar signs when they see our information come through! They know our medications cost a small fortune, so therefore we pad their paychecks with the many medications we are required to take. I know that my Gilenya alone without assistance would cost around $1500 a month and that is with insurance! Who can afford that on the wages we make? That’s right NO ONE can and quotes-to-inspire-people-with-chronic-illness-RM-alt-722x406therefore our conditions would worsen drastically over time! Do the insurance companies care? NOT AT ALL! I do believe that the insurance companies and government work together so they can be very well off in life without any regard for human life! Now with the talk among the government, some of us many worry that we will lose our expensive insurance in the near future. I do sincerely hope that I am wrong about this though, but that is honestly what I think is on the agenda!

Some of us may worry about the struggles of working a full-time job, as many of us probably can not afford to work part-time hours! Even if we are able to work a schedule with reduced hours this can not only be a financial burden, but also causes nonsenseYou-Dont-Look-Sick-722x406 judgments from co-workers! The comments that are made can be extremely frustrating and offensive, but we are doing all we can in life! I know that all of us would prefer to be able to tolerate full-time work, but when we are not able to we are doing the best we can and should not be looked down on! As you can probably tell I have heard the comments made about working ONLY 6 hour days, but I am pushing myself to do this!

Another struggle some of us may face is fun times with parking! Some of us may have handicap parking, which should be making our lives easier! However, some may look perfectly normal to the naked eye. We may suffer from something know as an “Invisible Illness”, which of course we feel but NO ONE sees our struggles! They may make butterflies-cant-see-their-wingsignorant comments about someone who looks completely normal parking in a handicap parking space. Rude comments have been made towards me and it did hurt my feeling terribly! But it has now been a few years since I was given the handicap parking, so I have had many experiences that I want to forget ever happened. Now days I do not allow negative comments to get to me as much and just feel sorry for the people making the ignorant comments and even worse for their children to grow up in that horrible environment because they may end up just as ignorant!

Fatigue and migraines are somethings I know many of us deal with almost daily! Both of these can be relatively difficult, but we handle them the best we can! Now I do not get migraines daily, but I get them enough to understand how hard they are to cope with.Background concept wordcloud illustration of fatigue Fatigue on the other hand I struggle with daily! I normally begin feeling much fatigue around 1:00 every day which is why I get into work earlier. For some reason, I feel much better earlier in the day and worse as the day progresses. It does not matter what time I wake up, always around 1:00 I feel like I need a nap!

OH WOW I almost forgot, I did say there were benefits to living with a chronic illness! The benefits are often very difficult to find, but they are there somewhere deep down. When living with an illness has NO cure it can make us more sympathetic, empathetic, and compassionate to what others might be dealing with at any moment in life. It may falling down is how we groweven give us the opportunity to meet others that understand our struggles and also offer support to others living with something similar! It may take work, but we are able to build strong networks with many others that can be very beneficial to all that is involved. Through the blogging community, I have been able to build powerful and valuable connections with SO many very incredible people who I have come to care so much for! I am truly thankful for all of my blogging friends and feel we might not have met if it were not for the chronic illness!

I sincerely appreciate you visiting my site today and always encourage your comments as they are fantastic! I hope y’all have a lovely day and you are feeling the best you can! Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Calming Sunday!

happy sundayGood evening y’all! I hope your weekend has been very pleasant and enjoyable! Considering I am still feeling so much pain and fatigue, I literally have done NOTHING today! Doing absolutely nothing for one entire day has been both calming to my out of control nerves and peaceful! I can not believe I have missed out on this feeling for so many years! I am always one who wants to be on the constant move no matter how I am feeling, partially because when I am still, I feel pain a lot more!. Doing things around the house, organizing my week ahead and ensuring that everything that needs to be completed is done by the end of the day on Sunday has always been the way my weekends flow. It sounds SO crazy when I think about that a little deeper because things will always get taken care of when they are meant to, so why rush things along?

I think everyone is already very well aware that I am very disturbed by how the United States has been behaving lately. I feel strongly that the behavior of those in charge is setting a very BAD impression and example for all Americans, as some of us do still struggles and frustrationsbelieve in EQUALITY and LOVE❤! Of course there are still some Americans that blindly follow those in charge, which is sad and unfortunate! I find it extremely hard to relate to anyone that does not see what is really happening in this country! I am sorry if anyone finds this statement offensive, but it is how I feel everyday of my life. I have and always will see everyone as just human with no other judgement! I do not appreciate being constantly lied to from those in power of the country I live in because I feel that honesty is the best and only way to live!

I want to apologize for the slight tangent I went off on. I try to stay hopeful that things are going to get better and not any worse, but there is no guarantees with those making the decisions that inflict damage on our lives daily! Currently I feel that I am living in a your patienceconstant state of fear that I am going to end up losing health insurance because I have a pre-existing condition that I never choose to live with. I do not feel that I should be punished for living with a chronic illness, as that alone is punishment enough, so for our government to decide I may not qualify for insurance is absurd! This has not happened yet, but I do think it is in the works! Hell I think I already pay WAY too much for insurance! But it is scary for me  to think that Trump could easily have a bad day and have a temper tantrum that will eliminate healthcare for those with chronic illness! 

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for visiting my site today! I do encourage your amazing comments and promise I will response as quickly as I possibly can! I know some of what I have written is a lot different that what I normally write about, but my frustrations have been elevating drastically each day and every day I hear of what is going on in the United States. Trying to find the positive in what is going on is difficult, but I am sure it is there somewhere! I hope you have a lovely and relaxing evening! Please never forget that I am always sending you LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

** I forgot to ask y’all! Do any of you have Facebook as well? As of August 1st, all my blog post do not link to Facebook any longer and I kind of want them to still link to Facebook. Do you by chance know what I need to do, so I do not have to continue posting to Facebook manually?**

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❤Always, Alyssa❤