It wasn’t meant to be easy

life has a funny wayLife has a funny way of throwing random things in our direction when they are least expected and often VERY unwanted. It definitely isn’t easy, but these are the times we must pick ourselves up, dust off the difficulties and strive to carry on!

For the most part, I think that the troubles we get faced with happen to remind us just how strong we truly are. We all go along through the motions of any given day and never stop to give ourselves the much deserved credit for the accomplishments we have made. Our daily routines have become so embedded into our minds that we just naturally react to every situation in the best way possible. Sometimes things will work out right the first time around and other times we have to try again! The best way to handle these situations is, NEVER GIVE UP! As long as we choose to not give up and remain determined to succeed, we will never fail.download (3)

What happens when something occurs that was so unexpected; it throws major a wrench in our day to day activities? Of course the process we need to go through may be challenging to figure out, but our minds will lead us in the right direction, if we just listen to our own intuition.

Sometimes life becomes more like a movie that is just set to automatic repeat, or at least it is for me. Monday-Friday every day is the same, which is perfectly fine and preferred. What some might call boring and predictable, I call calm and drama-free! With all the insanity that goes on in this world, who really needs additional drama? I actually love coming images (14)home to be greeted by my ❤ husband and two adorable cats❤! We eat dinner while watching our favorite shows and then just spend good quality time together. I will read, write or crochet in the evenings, so it is very calm, happy, and peaceful!

When I stop to think about how precious life is and how quickly things can change, I am thankful for what I do have in my life. Sure maybe life may have been easier if I didn’t have MS, but I do and I choose to continue living! I try to NOT think about what could have happened or what should have happened because really, what is the point? 63449-Life-Has-Many-Ways-Of-Testing-A-Person-s-WillAnything that did happen did so for reasons I may never know and that is okay. Hell, if it was not MS it may have been something far worse.  

My heart breaks for the people out there that do not have the faintest idea of what actually makes them happy. It almost seems as though these people got lost somewhere along the way and never managed to find themselves. I cannot say they did not try, but I might say they gave up the search. I have known people that went through some pretty severe depression, but even in their darkest hours knew a couple images (15)things that did bring them joy. Of course, those joys did often get shadowed over by their negative thoughts and bad situations, but they were still able to recognize a few positive things in their life. Unfortunately, I have also learned that I do not have the power to turn someone’s mind around when it is clouded with depression. In times like these, there is only one person that can create happiness and that is themselves. For instances, my mother has been struggling lately and neither herDPere-vWAAAeBey husband nor myself can make her truly happy, she needs to do that on her own. I hate to put that so bluntly, but it is the truth and I do think that any legit therapist would agree with me on this for anyone.

The sad reality is life can be harsh and painful, but it is how we handle it that counts. Challenges happen to everyone, no matter how you are or where you live. Unlike so many other things in this world, hard times do not discriminate and will try destroying anyone images (16)and anything that stands in the way. The good news is, if you never surrender and continue fighting back, those hard times will move onto its next victim.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today! I do encourage you to take a moment to leave a comment because I love knowing what you think of what I share. I hope you are having a pleasant day and you are feeling the best you can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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Things I never wanted to know!

images (12)Sadly, struggles with healthcare in the United States are not only terrifying but also incredibly real. I am not trying to be negative but healthcare in the United States is a massive joke that is NOT at all funny! Recently I found out just how much insurance was going to cost me through my company and it is outrageous. This has caused my husband and I to start looking into buying our own insurance. This also raised my curiosity into what is really going on with health care within the country I am living in.

In 2018, the costs of health care in the United States skyrocketed drastically!  In an familynursing2018-1468analysis from the US Federal government, it was found that Americans would spend $3.65 trillion for health care. With this appalling amount for health care, it represents each person would spend $11,212. Breaking it down even further, 59% of the spending is going to hospitals, doctor’s appointments and clinical services. Even prescription costs have increased 3.3% over the years.  In my personal opinion, this is ridiculous and only shows sheer greed. According to data from the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development, spending on health care in the United States is by far the higher that any other developed country.

The GDP (Gross Domestic Products) in the United States is larger than countries like health costBrazil, the UK, Mexico, Spain, and Canada. Reports from the Journal Health Affairs have estimated an average annual growth rate of 5.5% just from 2018 to 2027. Now if things continue as they have been, health care will be 19.4% of the country’s entire GDP! Unfortunately, according to the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, wage growth remains below 4% and yet insurance prices will only increase! This is wrong on so many levels and yet there is no one trying to fix this issue! Actually, there are a few people fighting hard to correct the madness and they are Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren in the senate and a several other progressives in the house. 

Even Private Health Insurance is only going up in price! Spending per person rose 4.5% between 2017 and 2018, even though the individual was already in the exact same insurance policy.

To say this is ludicrous is a HUGE understatement! Health insurance should not be a CR-Money-Inlinehero-short-term-health-care-expense-0918privilege, but it should be a right! It is despicable the way this is being handled among pharmaceutical companies and our own government. There are so many people graphoid080818including myself that need insurance or we will never be able to afford the medications that the doctor prescribes for valid reasons. Many of the medications we get at the pharmacy are required so our illness does not progress at a rapid rate.

I think it is obvious I think it is a disgrace that all the pharmaceutical and insurance companies care about it how much money they can make and not about the well-being of others. What ever happened to humanity or did it ever really exist? Once upon a time, the United States was at the top for education and health care and now it is only at 27th in the entire world. It is pathetic that doctors do not care as much as they did years ago for their patients, but download (3)now it is all about their paycheck! They get patient after patient, rush them without listening to anything their patient is saying, which is terrible!  I am pretty sure that doctors completely forgot what the Hippocratic Oath says and might need a refresher!

I apologize that this post may have seemed negative, but I am very frustrated with how awful health care is in the country I live in. I am not sure if I was just extremely naive before best-health-insurance-in-usa-1and things have always been the way they are now or if something just went very wrong in the thinking of Americans! I guess I may never know.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today. I hope your weekend has been great and you are enjoying every moment of it. Even though this was kind of a rant of my feelings, I would love to read your thoughts on this topic. I promise to respond as quickly as I can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Sunday Hopes!

sunday-1.jpgGood afternoon y’all! I hope your weekend has been absolutely amazing and you are feeling well. I am so glad that I was able to finally able to do a couple posts this weekend because it really brings me SO much joy! I must say that I am still a little shocked that I received two award nominations a couple days apart from each other and feel so thankful to the amazing people that nominated me! Now that I have been given this kind of recognition it leads me to believe that it is possible that I am doing something good with my blog! I have always wanted to be able to inspire and encourage as many as I possibly can and maybe, just maybe, this means that I am doing what I had planned!

If I am being completely transparent, which I always am and find it very important to do so, I have had VERY LOW energy and MANY pain issues this weekend. Of course, pain pain and fatigueand fatigue are just part of my daily life and I am typically able to just ignore them completely and move forward. I tend to not really understand why such issues become more intense at various times, but I think I might have finally determined the reason behind this. It is very possible that I am just a fantastic weather woman! My body tells me when it is going to rain a day ahead of time and I find amusement when the actual weatherman is clueless! On Friday, I started to feel somewhat awful, but it was manageable. Yesterday while I was grocery shopping I started chatting with the cashier, images (10)which I know y’all will find that shocking, just kidding y’all already know I always initiated conversations wherever I go! Anyways, I mentioned to her that I thought it was going to start raining   very soon. She was an older woman and agreed with me. We both said that we feel the rain deep in our bones prior to the first drop falls. Her reason was that she has arthritis and always hurts more when it rains . WOW, this kind of makes me feel older than my years, but I guess such as life and it could be worst!

Even though I am rather tired, I finally have the time to write. Have y’all ever run into download (12)roadblocks when you start writing because you have far too many ideas running around in your mind? I am definitely at that point right now, so please bare with me as I try to sum up a few things that are on my mind!🌸

It has been a couple weeks since I shared my thought that I may be gluten-intolerant. I have done a decent job with cutting gluten of my diet, but definitely not perfect. I have bought many gluten-free foods for my house and can tell a slight difference in the taste. Last night the craziest thing happened to me Wheat-Gluten-Intoleranceand scared the hell out of me. When I was almost done eating dinner, I had a terrible pain in my stomach. This pain was so intense it not only made me very nauseous, but unable to finish my dinner and bent over in pain. Let’s just say without too many details, this was the worst pain my stomach has ever felt. My husband was ready to take me to the Emergency Room and knowing it would cost a small fortune without insurance made my stress increase the pain I was already dealing with drastically.  Thankfully, this all did pass after a little more than an hour and I am okay now, but I also refuse to eat.download (13)

❤❤Another thing I would like to add is two people I know are in need of some extra prayers. The first one is my mother who went to the hospital on Friday because of severe pain in her back. After a many tests, the ER doctor said it could be one of two things. She may end up needing to have her gallbladder removed because of gallstones or she needs to pass a kidney stone. Both of these can be terrifying and very painful. I am just hoping this issue is just a kidney stone that will pass soon ending her pain and not needing surgery. It might sound crazy, but surgeries scare me because  errors can happen.

❤❤The other person that is in need of prayers is a dear blogger friend Jessica. Jessica’s son has been in the hospital for I think about a week now. Her sweet little boy has had to endure being in the hospital with doctors poking and prodding him. This would scare the heck img_0737out of me and I am 37, so I cannot imagine how this little boy is feeling. Jessica is a VERY strong and amazing woman, but I do believe the more prayers of healing for her son would be very appreciated! If you have a moment, please check out her blog and maybe leave her some encouraging words as I know she will appreciate your thoughts-https://jessierenea.com.

Thank you so much for visiting my site today! Y’all know my posts are not normally this long, but I had a lot to share! I hope the rest of your Sunday is wonderful and peaceful! I do look forward to reading your brilliant thoughts on this post and I do promise to respond as quickly as I can! Never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

The Disability Award

disability awardI was at a complete loss for words when I learned that Melinda at https://lookingforthelight.blog/, choose to nominated me for this award because there are so many others with amazing stories of their own. I never in a million years would have thought that I would have such an honor to be nominated for The Disability Award, in part because I hate admitting to having a disability. I will admit that when I read this, it did bring on many emotions and tears, but I then was delighted to be part of this award. Melinda has an amazing site of her own with fabulous knowledge she continues to share. She is dedicated to helping others with disabilities, chronic illnesses and all that comes along with those struggles. Melinda has also gone above and beyond with helping me reblog my posts when I am not able to. Thank you so much Melinda for this amazing opportunity and please anyone that hasn’t viewed her site, check her out and I know you will be happy you did so!cf036bb83ac63b40077ff3367aa06717

To my Nominees: Please answer the questions, choose your own nominees, and develop your own set of questions. Honestly, Melinda’s questions were so amazing that I wanted to use the same questions, but y’all are of course can choose your own questions if you want. Please display the award badge on your blog. I also do not want to add any pressure onto your already busy life, so if you choose to not participate in this award, I completely understand! I will of course LOVE reading your answers and seeing who you decide to nominate for this award!

My amazing nominees are:

https://msmommy.blog/ 

invisiblyme.com

https://reclaiminghope.blog/

https://funshinesunshineblog.wordpress.com/

https://mymsrollercoasterride.wordpress.com/

https://makingitthroughtherain.com/

https://brokenlifesite.wordpress.com/

My questions from Melinda are:

download (6)What was the first sign of your illness?

The first sign I encountered to this not so fun illness was I lost vision in my left eye. I had absolutely NO idea what was going on and went to my eye doctor. Not only was I in complete and total shock, but I was horrified when of all people an eye doctor told me he suspected MS.

What is your worst symptom and how do you cope with it?images (2)

It is a little difficult to say which of the various symptoms I live with being worst because none of them is at all easy. However, the constant pain can be quite trying and cause me to not do as much as before. I feel that due to pain I end up being forced to limit time on my feet and take breaks more than before.

What one thing about you has changed, as a result of your struggles?

I think the only thing about me that has changed since I was diagnosed with Multiple ms awareness marchSclerosis is I have learned to push past pain. I was always strong with this type of issue, but now that I have pain every minute of every day the strength has only grown.

What words of advice or encouragement would you give to someone else suffering?

The advice and words of encouragement I would offer is, let everyone know they are not allow and never will be. This is something I wish I was told all those years ago because being diagnosed with a chronic illness can be a very lonely feeling.

Name one good thing that has come out of having a chronic illness.never ending nightmare

It seems crazy to say something good that has come out of this chronic illness, but I would say it has taught me to never give up and to always know others struggle in life and need someone to understand. I have made some amazing friends through the blogging community that live with something similar and we are there for one another.

What one thing do you disagree with that is widely accepted as true about your condition?

download (8)There are a few things that I strongly disagree with regarding my condition, but I am only going to share two of them. One is that heat is bad for me and cold is better. The thing is a heating pad gives me a lot of relief. Cold weather causes me to tense up and hurt WAY more. I do think being in the heat too long is not good, but also being cold too long is not good either. I also think with it being 2019 there must be a cure, but the pharmaceutical companies do not want it released because they would not make as much money off ALL of our MANY prescriptions.

If you could change only one aspect of your illness, what would it be?strength

There are many things I wish I could change about this illness, but the main one is that I wish it did not happen to anyone! No one deserves to face the difficulties any chronic illness imposes on their life, well unless they want to mess with the  abilities of insurance we should have!

Name the one thing that works best for you for symptom relief.

The funny this is, even though all doctors tell me heat is horrible for me a heating pad on breathmy legs or back eases the pain for a short amount of time. Of course, pain medication does help the pain, but I refuse to allow myself to be another statistic and become addicted.

Based on your experience, what is one thing that you would tell someone newly diagnosed with chronic illness?

The one thing I would tell someone that was newly diagnosed is something I wish I haddo-your-own-research-ask-questions-discover-your-own-truth-11298906.png been told is, do your own research and learn as much as you can about whatever illness you were diagnosed with. The truth is we are the only one that knows our body better than anyone ever could because no amount of schooling could teach that!

Why did you start blogging?

Be-An-AdvocateThere were several reasons why I wanted to start blogging. One reason was to be an advocate to illnesses and spread the awareness that is needed. Another reason is because of the pure love I have for writing and I also want to be able to help as many people as I can to know they are not alone in this battle.

Thank y’all for stopping by my site today and thank you to my nominees for being thank-you-volunteersthe incredible people you are! Life isn’t easy and living with a chronic illness tries to make things even more difficult, but together we prove these illnesses wrong! I hope if y’all have some free time you will check out my nominees sites and definitely view Melinda’s! I know you will never be disappointment you did so and will feel a sense of encouragement by reading what these individuals share! Thank you once again Melinda for all you do for everyone and the added help you have offered me!

download (6)I hope your weekend has started off great and only continues to get better. I do always appreciate the support you offer by reading and commenting on my posts. Never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

The past two days….

b95003c28f7647882e471ba62e268fc0The past two days have been truly awful for me! For some unknown reason, on Thursday the normal pain I face every day increased drastically. It was incredibly painful to walk and even to sit at my desk at work. I did push myself to make it through my day at work, but then did not go into the office on Friday. Between the pain I was dealing with and the massive migraine, I could not do anything.

My weekend was full with naps and ice packs on my head. It was not until this afternoon that I felt human again. I am not going to lie, I am still struggling with a minor headacheiceand pain, but I am hoping it does not get anywhere near as bad as it was for the past two days. I am used to dealing with pain of all kinds and can handle it rather well, but once the pain gets into my head, I am done!

There were things I had planned for this weekend and was not able to accomplish any of it. I was nominated for The Sunshine Blogger Award and had planned to do a post about it, but could not do it. Hillary Tan at https://sereneluna.wordpress.com is the sweet lady that nominated images (2)me and has been understanding with me not being able to do the acceptance post, yet! I promise I will do this post as soon as I am able to. In the meantime though, if you have not already viewed Hillary’s blog, I strongly encourage you to do so. Hillary has some great posts and I always enjoy reading her posts!

I hate that I felt so terrible all  weekend because I do have several posts that I have been working on to share with you. It might sound insane, but I feel helpless when I go an entire weekend without accomplishing anything. I am one that plans to rest some over the weekend, but to get things done around the house. I download (6)hope throughout the week, I will be able to complete the few posts I have started and be able to publish them!

I know y’all understand pain and migraines. I really hate that because I would not wish how I was feeling on anyone, well I am sure I can think of a few people that deserve the suffering feeling. Considering it is Sunday night and I am still battling with a slight headache and pain, I just hope the rest I had over the images (2)weekend will pay off. I am supposed to be at work tomorrow morning, I am very hopeful that I will be able to start the week better than last week ended. I will keep my positive outlook and know things will work out the way they are supposed to!

Thank you for stopping by my site tonight. I appreciate your support and the never-ending encouragement and understanding! I really hope your weekend was MUCH better than mine and you are feeling well! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Accepting realities!

acceptanceSomething that I have had a really hard time admitting and accepting is that Multiple Sclerosis is a disability. Whenever I have applied for a job, there is always that annoying question “Do have or have you had a disability.” I mean what kind of BS question is that to ask someone? Of course I want to say “NO”, but Multiple Sclerosis is listed as a disability on the darn application and I can’t falsify anything on an application because that could result in me being disqualified for a position I applied for and want. I think this is so invasive and completely ridiculous, but I guess it is what it is in life!

For some strange reason the words disabled and disability shatter my heart into aimages million pieces and cause me to feel like a useless failure . I do realize how irrational this may sound, but that is how I have been feeling. It made me incredibly sad when I had a difficult time walking through a store last weekend because my legs and feet were experiencing SO much pain and weakness. All
hashtag person not disabilityI wanted to do was cry, but I couldn’t because I view that as letting this illness win the never-ending battle we have been in for years and that will NEVER be an option for me!!

I know I already shared with y’all that I figured out I am gluten-intolerant without the expensive tests a doctor would want to run. It seems like a punishment to have to deal withlife isn't fair the issues Multiple Sclerosis comes along with and then add gluten-intolerant to the mix seems quite unfair. I know we all deal with random issues and keep on moving forward because we do not have a choice. I am also very aware that many others deal with SO many other struggles that are far worse than what I am, so I am really not complaining. I am going to share more about this gluten-intolerant situation in a later post.

tired.jpgThe truth is, because I am always so exhausted during the week after working 8 hours every day of the week, I often don’t have the energy to write as much as I would like to. I end up with so many random thoughts running around like crazy in my mind; it gets so hard to keep track of them all and have those thoughts come together for a good read and one that I am proud of.

For the past week or so, I have been experiencing an increase in the number of horrible do not confuse bad days as weaknessdizzy/black-out spells. I have had these issues happen before, but never so many in just one day. At least 2 days last week, there were several moments when the room went completely dark and there NO were sounds at all, which under other circumstances would be great. There was one time I was talking with a co-worker at her desk about work and all of sudden I felt weak, light-headed, hot as hell and dizzy. Luckily I was standing very close to the wall, which kept me standing upright. It might have been pretty embarrassing if I all of sudden fell to the floor at this new job.

I am not really sure which of these issues are more images (3)terrifying; dizzy spells, black-out moments or the combination of the two. Of course I would say the combination of dizziness and black-out would the most terrifying because you are dealing two different disturbing issues at the same time. I have dealt with dizzy spells for so many years now, but I have found ways that help me limit the duration of my dizziness, most of the time at least.

Truthfully my experiences with black-out spells aren’t plentiful in comparison to dizziness, but I have enough sense and knowledge to download (6)understand how horribly upsetting they can be. I remember a few years ago there was a period of time when I had a several short black-outs throughout the week, but they weren’t anywhere near as severe as they are now. I am not sure if its stress, lack of sleep, weather changes or something else. The list of possible reasons really could go on and on and on, but I really just wish they were STOP!

Thank you so much for stopping by my site today. I will never pressure you to leave a download (7)comment, but I do encourage your comments if that makes any sense, but I know your thoughts will be amazing. I promise to respond to your comments as quickly as I can! I hope you are feeling well and enjoying your weekend! Sometimes I think the best part of a weekend isn’t getting out and staying busy, but not having any plans at all so there aren’t any time requirements. My days are set in stone during the week with work, which I tend to strongly dislike, but I guess it is just the life of adulthood. I enjoy spending my 2 very short weekend days living in the moment and not doing anything that might cause unnecessary stress. Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

Puzzle of Life!

Good afternoon y’all! I hope your weekend is starting off great and only gets better moving forward! Weekends provide much comfort and relaxation, which is often very needed and well deserved. I am still trying to get adjusted to this working full-time thing and still maintaining household duties, my blog and anything else that comes my way. Honestly it isn’t easy, but I also think I can handle it!

Over the past week or so, I have been thinking about how much our lives actually resemble a huge jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes we have a piece that fits together perfectly and other times nothing at all fits the way we expect or want  it to. It really is like when you try putting a large puzzle together, but some of the pieces you have in front of you become difficult to place because of their shape and size. We all face the same situation daily when we are confronted with people with different views and behaviors. We may strongly disagree with others point of views, but we are all entitled to our own views and perspectives. As long as these  thoughts do not cause physical and or emotional harm to another it should be accepted. 

Personally I think I am very capable of getting along with everyone and anyone, as long life-is-like-a-puzzle-stop-trying-to-place-people-where-they-dont-fit-quote-1as they are respectful of me and my beliefs. I have never tried changing another person or their views because that is just wrong to do! I feel that if we were all alike the world would be downright boring and we need diversity! I enjoy being around people who are different from myself and find learning about how they view things pretty fascinating!

All relationships and even jobs can be like putting a challenging puzzle together. When you start a new job, there will be some that51accc1426746b8fa9976fe7436086f5  co-workers you mesh well with and others whom you don’t and that is perfectly okay! You really can’t force the pieces of life together, things just fit when it’s meant to be! I have always believed that everything in life happens for a reason and when it is supposed to. Of course I tend to forget this often and get frustrated because I just want things to work out perfectly. I guess that is the part of me that is controlling, but we all have our faults and we deal with them as needed. 

Other parts of life, like dealing with a chronic illness or other difficulties just adds to thepuzzle-pieces-of-life-2-stock-illustration_csp34374889 puzzle of our life. It can be incredibly frustrating and test our strengths, but at the end of the day we can be proud of what we have accomplished. It is so important to never give up and know all the pieces will fit perfectly eventually.

I did try the new Editor version of WordPress, but did not do all that well with it. I will puzzle-piece-quotekeep trying and I am sure I will understand how it works soon. Have y’all tried it yet and do you have any advice for me?

Thank you for stopping by my site today! I always appreciate your words of wisdom and kindness. I am still working on getting caught up on reading and commenting on your posts and should be caught up before the weekend ends. I hope the rest of you day is amazing and you are feeling the best you can! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤, comfort and many positive vibes!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤