I hope y’all had a good Wednesday! Once again, I had another successful day and didn’t miss the day or any part of the day at all! Yes I was in pain, but I didn’t let it get the best of me. I pushed it through 9 very long hours. We now only have 2 days remaining until we have reached the goal of the weekend!
After waiting for four days, I finally heard back from the Nurse Practitioner today. It sure took her long enough and her response was not helpful at all. Of course, her response was close to 5:00 and it was via email, so I wasn’t able to ask any additional questions. I did respond to her email with a few questions. She wants me to come in and make sure I do not have any infections and also recommended another medicine for neuropathy pain. If she was actually paying attention to my chart, she would have seen I did try the medicine she was suggesting, and it caused me to have a lot of nausea. Like I said last night, she needed to have a good reason for me to try any other medications and that offered actual benefits, instead of additional issues. Basically, I 
will deal with my pain issues and NOT be put on any other medications, period!
This is a quick update on how I am doing with the Tecfidera. Saturday will be two-weeks since I started taking Tecfidera. I am still experiencing some side effects and I don’t know if I am just going to have to get used to them, or if they will go away. The hot flashes are just annoying. I can literally go from being freezing cold, to burning up hot in a matter of seconds. Last night, I was shivering because I was so cold and then was pouring sweat. The itching is absolutely insane. Jon and I were on our way out last night to pick up dinner, I sat there scratching my legs raw. I have found that putting lotion on does relieve some of the itching, but not entirely. The last issue I am having is stomach issues. But, I guess the Tecfidera is not causing anything I can not handle in order to slow the progression of the Multiple Sclerosis. Quick question, does anyone know if these side effects will go away and if so, how long do I have to deal with them?
Thank you for continuing to read my posts and make comments. I really appreciate all of your advice and support! I have made some really fantastic connections with so many amazing people. For those of you that I have already gotten to know some, I look forward to getting to know you even more. I also look forward to getting to know even more of you. Being able to write about how I am feeling and what I am going through, has been such an amazing experience and allowed me to feel so much better! I hope y’all have a great evening and a great Thursday! Thank goodness, it is almost Friday!
Always, Alyssa
6th wedding anniversary! October 1st is also the anniversary of 7 years since Jon proposed to me on stage with The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. It should be a great weekend and I can not wait! It is hard to believe that it has been 6 years already. My wedding day was the most relaxed that I have ever been. I knew I was marrying the love of my life and soul mate. For someone who is always stressed, my wedding day when most brides are a little on the stressed side, I was very relaxed. I was a little emotional because my Grandfather could not be there and my father choose not to be there, but everyone else that matters to me was there supporting us!
start getting better. I think I have been suffering for long enough and it is time for it to start decreasing. Even though it was hard to get through the day, I did it! Maybe tomorrow will be easier, but we will see. I have been pretty frustrated because it doesn’t seem like people really understand and probably think I am blowing things out of proportion. One of my co-workers asked me today if I was feeling better. When I started to explain how I was feeling, they changed the subject. I mean, why ask if you don’t really care to hear the answer? Others that claim to be a friend, didn’t even bother asking. But truth is, none of that really matters. I know that I have the love and support of my husband!
whenever she does call me back, that I am starting to wein myself off of this medicine, as it isn’t helping. I do not want to be on so many medications, that I feel like an old lady in the mornings and evenings taking ALL my medicines. I would like to be on little as possible, and only those that are beneficial to me. We all have to be our own advocates with our healthcare, because doctors have so many patients, they do not seem to care as much as they really should. I am sure she will try to think of something to replace the one she has me on, but she better have a good reason, and I better feel comfortable with it or it isn’t going to happen. I will get through this pain, it is just going to take time and patience!
Even when they do ask me questions, they can not understand the amount of pain I am in, and how much worse it is when I am at my desk all day long typing. I decided today, that it does not really matter what people think, or what they are going to say when I only work for five hours, it is more important to take care of myself. I am not going to push myself too far just to satisfy others. My work gets done, so I am not making anyone else work harder. All that really matters at work is, my manager understands and knows how hard I do work. 
what is that going to do, beside bring me down to their level. Instead, I walk away teary eyed and left the store shortly afterward. We can not let other people’s ignorance dictate what we do and when we do it. I do my best to only surround myself with people who bring positivity into my life. For those people that know me, I am a kind, compassionate and emphatic person, which I will continue to be so I do not become one of the hateful individuals in this world. I really want to always make a positive difference and encourage others to do the same. I know I can not change the world, but I can always be kind to people, especially those that need it. We do not know what hardships others are going through in their lives, and it is amazing what a smile or kind words can do for someone!
are the one being rude! I thought about ordering online, so the people who work at the grocery store get everything together and put it in your car, but that costs extra. It might actually be worth it today. This might sound crazy, but I don’t like someone else picking out the fruit. Sometimes, some of the fruit at the grocery store don’t look all that great, so you have to look them all over to find the best one. I can’t imagine the person at the store getting my things together is going to be very picky. Even though it might take me a few more hours to build the energy up to do it, but I will just go to the store and do it myself. It should not take long and then I can come home and rest up for Monday.
negative things, I have remain positive. These things could be worse than they are, so I really have nothing to complain about. I am still able to write, read a book, do laundry and even go to the grocery store, so I guess you could say I am doing fairly well. It takes strength and positive thinking to move forward in life sometimes. I will not cave to the issues I am dealing with, instead I am going to keep my head held high and continue living. What other choices do we really have when faced with struggles? Giving up is not an option for me!
because it could take all day to tell you about all of them. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus has a special place in my heart, Fall Out Boy, Ed Sheeran (I know he isn’t a band, but I love some of his songs). David Osmond has one song that gives me hope, I Can Do This and so many more!!! But, you should really check out some of the music by these artists. I know that The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus has some new music coming out and it will be amazing like the rest of their music!
crackers down. My sweet cats have not left my side for two days, I think they are trying to make me feel better. The love of animals can not really be described. But what I can say is, you can really see the love in their expressions. I am truly honored to have the love of my two amazing cats and my loving husband! The three of them give me so much strength to carry on with all the pain I am going through!
people I have in my life. With all the hate there is in this world, it is refreshing to know that there are still some good people out there. I have never understood hate and discriminating against another person. When I talk to people, the only thing I see is another human being. All people have good qualities and bad ones, you just need to be able to know the difference. Hold onto the good ones that bring positive to your life, and let the bad ones that only bring negativity to your life go.
but until that day comes, we stay strong and wait patiently. We lean on others when we need to and we help others when we can. Everyone that participates in this blog has struggles they are going through, and everyone has powers to offer guidance and encouragement. It is unbelievable how many people have reached out to me with words of wisdom and needing help. I really want to offer strength and courage to others. 
high, that I could hardly even focus. Yesterday at work, I was in so much pain that there were actually times when I completely forgot what it was I was doing. It almost feels as though I have the flu because my entire body hurts. I told my husband last night there was not one part of me that didn’t hurt. I guess it is possible I do have the flu considering my throat has started hurting, but I do not think I have a fever. Yes, I have had hot and cold flashes, but I am pretty sure that is from the Tecfidera. I really just need one day where I do not have any pain at all, but I am starting to think that is just a fairy tale for me. 
alter your personality and your way of thinking. It can feel like there is a dark cloud just hovering over your head and no matter which way you turn, the cloud just keeps following you. Granted, there are some things you just start to grow accustomed to and find ways to cope, but we all have a breaking point and need relief. I mean, I can completely tolerate pain in my legs and even in my back most of the time, but there is still a level that ends up being too much for me. The one thing I can’t handle at all is a bad headache. I don’t know of anyone that can deal with a bad headache. My husband actually suffers from migraines as well and that is some of the worst pain a person can have. The only thing I, as well as my husband can do for a headache is be in a dark room, with an ice pack on our head. It is hard to even begin to describe what it feels like when your entire body aches. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone. If there was a way I could leave my body for a few hours for relief I would.
I know that there are some people who are going through so much more than I am and I need to be grateful, it just gets hard sometimes. I do know it is important to try to not dwell on pain, because it doesn’t make it go away. I have been trying for days now to try to either focus my mind on relaxing things or look at the more positive things life has to offer. I know that this pain issue will ease up at some point, I just wish that day was yesterday.
and cold flashes and some stomach problems, but the itching has dwindled. My dose will be changing tomorrow to the normal amount. Hopefully, the issues I have been experiencing won’t increase and there won’t be any other changes. I am trying to remain optimistic that this medication will work for me. I am a strong woman, but I don’t think I can handle too many more issues. I will keep y’all updated as I start the increased amount of Tecfidera. I can only hope that I have nothing but great things to report!
but I ended up coming home from work an hour early. That of course made me feel weak, considering I have always said I won’t let this disease control my life. But, I also feel that sometimes our body is trying to tell us to rest. There is one medication my doctor wanted me to try for pain. She said that it helps with neuropathy pain, but the only thing it has been doing for me is making me extremely tired and not reliving any of my pain. She said that it takes a few weeks to start working, and taking it twice a day my body will get used to any side effects. Well, it has been over 
a month and it still makes me so tired, to the point I feel like I am falling asleep at my desk at work. At this point, I think I am going to start weaning myself off of this medication. I was very reluctant in the beginning for trying it, but now that I have given it an honest effort and do not see any benefit, I think it is time to stop taking it. I will of course notify my doctor, as she did say if it wasn’t helping it would be fine to discontinue it. Let me just say, it isn’t a medication that is meant for Multiple Sclerosis, it is just supposed to help neuropathy issues. I guess it doesn’t work that way for everyone though.
breaking point. I just really want some relief from the constant pain. Tomorrow is a new day and it is Friday, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Making it through a day in pain is extremely difficult and definitely can change a person perspectives. So with me crying to my husband about hurting so much and asking him if this was going to be my life, well that was just a bad moment.
causing some to not take what is necessary for their health. Insurance companies can be just down right frustrating and kind of brutally heartless. The greed with these pharmaceutical companies is simply astonishing. Thank goodness some of if not most of the medications that are for the progression of MS have copay assistance programs. So heads up for all of you with any chronic illnesses, check with the companies to see if there is copay assistance. They of course do not want to tell you on their own, so you have to ask the question! Worse case scenario is they do not have any assistance programs, but at least you tried!
my fingertips! The only thing that actually relieves my back pain even just a little bit, is laying down. Of course I can not do that at work. For some reason, laying down at work is frowned upon. I can not for the life of me understand why! Or if they would offer me a recliner to sit in while I do my work! Especially because I work for a company that says they love and value their employees. What a better way to show than to provide a recliner for me to work in? Okay, there was the sarcastic comments coming back again! But, am I joking about this or am I being serious?
your head is about ready to burst! Plus, it was a pretty busy day so that only made me feel a little on the stressed side. But, I made it through my 8 1/2 hour-long day at work and was able to come home, to get all nice and comfy! I am pretty sure I get my sarcastic personality from my Grandfather, he was the master of it!
enough for me to stay on it and deal with whatever I need to. The strength we have inside of us is amazing! I want to be able to control the MS, as I do want to delay any possible progression for as long as I possibly can. I am very independent, so I want to be able to take care of myself and my family. Of course the family I try to take care of is, my husband and two cats, but still I want to be able to do as much as I can for them.
weather trying to maintain will make my pain lesson. See, I can be optimistic and not so sarcastic! I look forward a time where I can get through an entire day with no pain, or at least pain that is more manageable. I have to believe that this day will come to be more than just an “I hope” but a reality, I just don’t know when that will be. 
That means so much to me, as it is one of my goals from doing my posts everyday. I really want to be able to help those suffering with chronic illness and or pain. I want to be able to give them a reason to believe there is a way through all this madness. I gain a lot of courage through y’all, and want to be able to give that back to others. It is so important to be able to build a connection with others that really understand what you are going through, and be able to give you a reason to believe, there is a light somewhere in the tunnel of darkness. 
As so many of you know, rain causes pain to act up even more than normal! Today, it is so chilly and rainy, that I am in a lot of pain. I did manage to take the Tecfidera for the sixth time now. Thankfully, I am not really all that itchy and my stomach isn’t as bad as it was, but is still a little uneasy. I do not feel 100%, but maybe it has something to do with the weather making me hurt! All I really
want to do today is stay curled up with my blanket and my cats on the couch nice and cozy, I might add a book to the mix as well!
encouraging! We all have a certain battle in life to deal with, but we are all strong enough to get through it. We all have a power hidden inside of us to make it through the worst of times, sometimes even with a smile on our face! It is truly amazing how hard we fight our battles and how sometimes, we do not even show are scars from the hard times!
me through starting a new medication, that I was terrified to start, I would have been so much more uncomfortable without your help. Also, for some whose condition may have worsen, my thoughts and prayers are with you always and I am here for you, if you should need anything. I have a special connection with so many wonderful people, and I appreciate all you have done for me. I am thankful for my husband as well, who listened to be patiently while I went back and forth a million times about starting Tecidera. The man has patience made of steel, as it couldn’t have been easy to listen to me for so long about the same thing! 
Fightmsdaily 