~How to deal with manipulative people~

What does manipulation mean to you? The Webster’s Dictionary shows manipulation to mean a few different things, but for this post, it means, “to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one’s advantage”. To your knowledge, has anyone in your life ever tried to manipulate you? If so, how did this make you feel and how did you handle it?

Unfortunately, manipulative people can be found anywhere. These people can be family, friends, co-workers, or even new people in your life. They are not always easy to detect because they can easily lie and deceive you. Although they are skillful in their deceptive and treacherous behaviors, they are careless and selfish with only their benefits in mind. 

Manipulative people know how to find your weaknesses, use them against you, and convince you to do what will benefit their interests. Some may attempt using positive tactics, such as disingenuous compliments and artificial closeness, but they typically use negative means like silent treatment, criticism, and emotional abuse. 

The feelings felt when being manipulated are unpleasant, to say the least. This can easily leave a person feeling sad, disappointed, hurt, and even betrayed. If you have even been on the receiving end of manipulation, please let this be a lesson and never treat another person in this way.

**Please note, I am not a psychologist, mental health professional, or medical professional in any way, but the following tips are what I discovered through research and I hope they will help you end manipulative people before they can hurt and deceive you**

Remember, NO means NO:

Learn how to say “NO” in a firm, calm, and diplomatic way. There is no need to add anything else to the conversation. When we offer any reason, it can just provide ammo for the person to use to get through your defenses and force you to say “yes”. Initially, the manipulative person may become irritated and persistently try to convince you of something other than what you have already stated. Do not allow their determination or pushy behavior to change your mind. Continue to say “NO” and they will eventually give up. 

Do not apologize automatically:

Manipulative people are skillful at turning the tables to make everything be your fault, even when in your heart you know it was not. These types of people are always the victim. Of course, we are all human and it may seem easier to apologize to keep the peace and end the conversation, but this will just provide them with more control. Stand your ground and know manipulative people will never take responsibility for their actions.

Do not react:

Although it is not easy, the more you defend yourself or explain your reasons, the farther you fall into their web of control. Manipulative people know the way you think and will take advantage of it. They will create drama and chaos and the more emotional you become, the calmer they will feel. They want to make you seem like the crazy one and they are sane. No matter how many accusations and criticisms they throw at you, try to walk away and simply say, “I am sorry you feel that way”.

Establish clear boundaries:

Manipulative people are drawn to and prey on people pleasers because their boundaries are often weaker. Boundaries are important in all relationships as lines are clearly drawn. If there is a manipulative person in your life that continues to cross even one of your boundaries, know when it is time to walk away and not engage further. Define ahead of time what the consequences are when the person continues to disrespect you and your boundaries.

Take time to make decisions:

Often a manipulative person will be forceful and demand an answer right away. Try to never cave into their pressure because it only gives them more control. Take as much time as you need to provide them with an answer.

Keep your distance: 

The best and most challenging thing to do is to cut these manipulative people out of your life because they will try to make you feel guilty. Sometimes ignoring the person is easier because they are unaware of what is going on.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information in this post will help you deal with a manipulative person in your life or at least prepare you to handle on if you ever are forced to. Life is not easy, and we always need to do what is best for us because it is our life! If you have dealt with this type of person before, I am interested to read about it and how you handled it or knew it was happening. I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

3 thoughts on “~How to deal with manipulative people~

  1. Nice article Alyssa. Sometimes a person becomes manipulative over a long period of time. It can be hard to recognize I when it is someone in your circle of friends and family when this happens….. since we care about the people around us and want to “help them”. I know it has happened to me and maybe more than once. The research you shared was great! It gives us all a lens to examine our life with.

    Liked by 1 person

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