New Year with BIG Changes

~Welcome 2022~

Happy New Year y’all! This post is a little later than I had planned for, but I guess better late than never. I hope you had a great and safe New Year’s Eve. I stayed at home and watched the ball drop with my husband and three cats. Nothing exciting, but I do not enjoy large crowds because they make me extremely uncomfortable.

Most of us see the start of a new year as the “magical” time to make changes and transform into an entirely new person. It is something instilled in our mind and mostly due to social standards or views. Changes or improvements do not need to only happen once a year or at any specific time. This is something that we can decide to do or not do. Typically, the motivation we felt when we made our New Year’s resolution wears off fast, the following week we forget all about the resolution.

Whether or not you are looking forward to 2021 ending and ecstatic about the exciting opportunities 2022 has in store for us, it has arrived. Besides all the New Year’s festivities, we think about what our resolutions will be. We may have many passed resolutions we did not achieve. We may begin thinking about everything we feel we need to do, which adds too much pressure and can result in us giving up.

We can learn from the resolutions we made in previous years that did not stick or last through the year. I am hoping that 2022 will be a better year with many positive changes. I am going to share my thoughts on resolutions and some tips on how to follow through with our resolutions.

I am sitting here trying to make sense of how 2021 which was not a great year, passed by so incredibly fast. Of course, I am not complaining because I have been ready to put 2021 in my rearview mirror and NEVER look back. In addition, I also have a strong and tight hold on the hopes for better times in the future. I learned a very valuable lesson a long time ago, which was NEVER say something could not get any worse because things can always get worse. I obtained this knowledge the hard way which created frustration and a massive number of continual disappointments.

It is important to know who you are and what you want in life. There has been research done on the Self-Determination Theory. This theory indicates that feeling capable and competent when reaching our goals, is one of the most substantial reasons for success. Most successful individuals set goals according to their strengths and abilities. What this means is that even though our goals “should” be a challenge, they need to also be with our abilities. Too much pressure will only lead to failure, stead of success because we might not have evaluated things accurately.

Think about a person who says they want to lose 50 pounds within three months and another who says they want to eat healthily and lose 15 pounds in six months. Which one of these individuals and their goals is achievable? Which one of these makes the most sense and can be viewed as with enough effort can be achieved?

Once you set your goal, OWN it. The meaning behind our goals is the key aspect that keeps us pushing forward. Intrinsic goals are the goals that encourage human growth and make a difference in this world.

How many New Year’s resolutions have you made that were small and mild lifestyles changes? If we are being honest, most of the resolutions we have made in previous years ended up being long-term and intimidating. The intimidation fact and time it will take may cause us to give up. If we decide to make a massive resolution and know ahead of time it is going to take more than a few days to complete time and effort to accomplish, we might need to take a hard look and reevaluate. With the challenging resolutions, they might require us to break them down into smaller sections, so it is manageable and remains organized. The chance of success is much will increase massively!

Everything we do in life will include some type of obstacle. Although it might be difficult, we need to try to visualize the obstacles we may face before we even are confronted with the obstacle. This can help us to have a plan in place, so we will not be slowed down too much with achievement and pushing past all obstacles.

I think it is safe to say that everyone has failed with one of their New Year’s resolutions. I do think the two most important tips regarding New Year’s resolutions is if you are going to make one, be realistic and do not go over the top with things that will take months or years. The other key point in my mind is, we can make changes anytime during the year we see fit and we do not have to wait until a new year to start.

I normally do not share what my New Year’s Resolution is because it puts too much pressure on me. This year, I am going to share it because of how much it means to me, and plan to never give up on this. I always try to avoid confrontation because I loathe arguments and will avoid them as much as possible. However, there is going to be a slightly new me in 2022. When I am upset about something, instead of holding it inside to avoid unpleasant conversations with anyone, I am going to be very transparent and upfront with how I feel. I have already implemented this and so far, things are not getting too chaotic. This part kind of goes hand and hand with the first part, but if someone does not bring anything but negative into my life, they are going to have to be eliminated from my life because it is too emotionally draining. I am going to have to You do not have to share, but do you have a resolution for 2022?

Thank you for visiting my site today. Let us all hope that 2022 is going to be a better year than the past several. Hopefully, COVID will also go away, and we will not hear anything more about it. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and I look forward to reading your comments, which I will respond to as quickly as I can.

Always, Alyssa

Curveballs keep coming

In life the only thing that is consistent and unavoidable is challenges. No matter what we do and how much we try to do our best, life will always throw curveballs our way. Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to duck, or miss being hit hard with the ball. All we can do is roll with the punches and adapt to the various obstacles we face. Of course, this is not easy to do, no matter how much practice we have endured.

The month of December has been extremely challenging. At the beginning of the month, I had a decent job that allowed me to work from the safety and comfort of my home. Surprisingly, but not shocking my company did a mass layoff two weeks before Christmas. Honestly, I was only shocked because of the timing. Although, logically with an employer we are only their worker bees and not a friend that anyone truly cares about.

I have been trying to stay optimistic and believe better things are coming. I keep reminding myself that when one door closes, another one will open. I have honestly always had a job, so the past three weeks have not been easy for me. At times I think it gives me too much time to think, which can be awful because of all the negativity surrounding the world.

On Christmas evening, my husband and I were on our way home when we ran into another challenge. We had to stop along the way for gas, but when we went to leave the truck would not start. Thankfully, my husband is mechanically inclined as I am anything but and he was able to quickly determine what the problem was, the fuel pump went out. He was able to get the truck to start by kicking under the truck where the fuel pump was. I would have just panicked and been in tears if he was not there.

Unfortunately, when it rains it pours and two days later, we had to have it towed to the mechanic. As luck would have it two weeks after being laid off, I ended up with an expensive repair bill. Things could have gone much worse with the fuel pump issue because we did have to drive on the interstate, and this could have caused an accident.

During the year there have been too many curveballs thrown my way and none of them missed. Yes, some of them hit harder than others and were extremely unexpected. Others were not as bad and easy to bounce back from. I cannot get these balls to miss hitting me head-on, but I will not let them stop me from living my best life.

Thank you for visiting my site. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared and possibly understand because you have been through something similar. I hope your week has gone well and you are still staying as safe as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

My Open Letter to 2021

Dear 2021~

I wish I could say that I am sorry we will be parting in a few days, but I cannot do that and mean it. The truth is, it is not just you because there have been a few problematic years. It began at the beginning of 2020 when the pandemic invaded the world. I do realize it was not just the United States that experienced this, but the states certainly did not handle it in the best way for the country. I am not a politician, but if the Commander in Chief of the most powerful country in the world took it seriously, there would not have been such a massive amount of loss.

2021 did not begin most atrociously, but it certainly did not end well. We still endured many issues with COVID because many people refused to get a vaccine to prevent the spread. This never made sense to me because the vaccine was free and did not take but a few minutes to get. Yes, two vaccines are needed and to be done two weeks apart and now there is the booster (3rd vaccine). I understand people being hesitant because it was new, but the vaccine did not kill over 800,000 Americans and over four million people around the world as the virus did.

In 2021 we all had to deal with various issues due to the virus. One of them was the lockdown. Many people were only able to leave their homes to go to work and other necessities. Of course, this was a challenging couple of months, but it was also what we needed to do to stop the spread of the deadly virus. Staying home and not doing anything enjoyable was extremely isolating and frustrating. Now with that said, if everyone would have complied with this, is it possible this would have saved lives?

I am fully aware the massive amount of hate was nothing new, but it seemed to have been viewed more mainstream. I pride myself on being fair and equal, and never cared if my views were looked down on because this is something I am very passionate about. The levels of violence have been increasing over the past few years and I feel incredibly disturbed by this. We are almost in 2022, but many are behaving as if it were 1922, which makes no sense at all to me. Why are there still so many people that refuse to treat others as equals? Are we not all simply human beings? As far as I know, there is no one alive that is perfect, can walk on water, or do something else that is magical.

Of course, there was then that dreadful day of December 9th, when my company laid me off two weeks before Christmas. This was a very unpleasant and lousy situation to put on someone. During the miserable and appalling meeting, we were all told how much we were appreciated. How can someone lie like this and in the next statement say we were being laid off? It amazes me how some people can behave like this and still sleep at night. I will never understand how anyone can feel okay when they take someone’s livelihood from them. Yes, I know it is just business, but what a disgusting thing to do to someone.

I know you were just a number and that 2022 might not be much different, but I can hope for improvements. I used to say that it cannot get much worse, but things can always get worse. At this point in life, one thing I find to be crucial is to try being understanding and tolerant with others. People are always going to find a way to upset another, either intentionally or unintentionally and we cannot hold grudges. If everyone around the world could unite and try to help another when we can, the world would be a lot happier and more tolerable.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I know this post was not the most positive, but it is real and the way I have been feeling. I think it is extremely important to only share honest posts because I do not think I am the only one that feels like this, and we can help one another through these crazy times. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond to all of them as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Last Monday in 2021

Today is the last Monday left in 2021. Can you believe it is almost 2022? It surely has been a long and extremely challenging couple of years. There have been a limited number of improvements and or changes, so I am hesitant to be overly hopeful that 2022 is going to be much different than the past few years. If you think about just the last year alone and think about everything that has happened. Yes, there have been some good moments and we need to be thankful for our life. Not to be negative, but does the good and bad experiences in the past year balance each other?

Of course, the issues with COVID are slightly better, safer, but could still be much better. The positive thing is, there has been a decrease in new cases and fewer deaths. There are still breakthrough cases and even though they are mostly unvaccinated, some fully vaccinated people are still getting COVID. Unfortunately, 815,000 people in the United States lost their life to COVID and more than 4 million worldwide lost their life due to COVID. I am fully aware that there are some that will disagree with me on this, but I do strongly feel that if everyone would get fully vaccinated, we as a world, not individual countries would be in a much better and safer place to be in!

This past weekend was Christmas. After last year when we were all encouraged to stay at home, not participate in large gatherings, and basically survive on house arrest without being officially arrested. Living in fear of a deadly virus was exhausting and insanely frustrating. It was hard on me because not too many people understand what it is like to have a weak immune system, so most cannot comprehend why I do not leave my house often and when I do I wear a mask and sanitize everything! I do hope you were able to enjoy a relaxing, safe, and lovely Christmas with your family!

I do believe December has been one of the most difficult months for me. A lot of this has to do with being laid off from my job and searching for a new job. I was working for a mortgage company when I was laid off and I did know it could happen. The crazy thing is even after this not-so-fun experience, I am looking at other mortgage companies. Most people would probably try finding a job in another industry that is more stable, but I worked with mortgages for many years at two different companies. It is just what I know but I enjoyed what I was doing.

I was already aware that I do not do well with not working because I like to stay busy and have a schedule. A lot of people like not working because they have limitless free time, but free time makes me feel like I am losing my mind. I think the reason is that work occupies my mind and prevents me from thinking too hard about other issues in life. 

We have all heard that old saying “When it rains it pours”, right? This could not be truer! My husband and I were on our way home from Christmas dinner, and we had to stop for gas. After my husband filled up the gas tank, he went to start the truck so we could head home, and that darn truck would not start. I am not mechanically inclined, but my husband is so while I went from calm to panic in less than a second, my husband analyzes the possible reasons. I did not know this at the time, but he slides under the truck and hit the fuel pump, got back in the truck, and it started right up. Apparently, I need to get the truck to the shop for a new fuel pump to be installed. Of course, I have to deal with car troubles a little more than two weeks after getting laid off. 

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today! I know this is not one of my typical Motivation Monday posts, but I had so much the has been crowding my mind I had to get some of my thoughts out. Clearing our minds from unnecessary and increased stress is best for Mental Health. I hope you and your family had an amazing holiday and you are ready to tackle the last week of 2021. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

December 21st already

It is already December 21st, the Winter Solstice and Christmas is only a few days away. There are several reasons it does not feel like Christmas to me. One reason might sound silly, but I grew up in the north where it was always a white Christmas. Even though I have been in the south for over twenty years, and it rarely snows, I still miss snow blanketing the ground on Christmas day. In a way it is good it does not snow in the southern state I am in because the smallest amount paralyzes the city and has people bombarding the stores for canned goods and leaving the shelves empty.

Another reason it does not feel like Christmas is that I am unemployed. This is not because of anything I did wrong, but due to my company thinking it was a great idea to lay off nearly 300 people two weeks before the holiday. As I already said in a previous post, there is never a good time to be laid off. I cannot help but think about those that had children and lost their job. Parents want to provide their children with a Merry Christmas and not have to consider returning gifts to be able to have a roof over their heads. They might also be deeply concerned about being able to have food on the table for their family.

In previous years, prior to the pandemic, we spent Christmas eve with my family and Christmas day with my husband’s family. Of course, last year we spent the holiday at home with each other and our cats which may have been a little sad. In the past two years, my mother has relocated and lives approximately 1,100 miles away so we will not be going to her home for Christmas eve. If it were not for safety reasons due to COVID, maybe I would have been able to fly to where she lives, but I am not risking my life to get on an airplane. Please understand this though, I think my mother is happy where she is now and the life, she is building is a good one for her, so I am over the mood happy for her.

Considering I am what some would call an overly emotional person, my heart breaks for the many people dealing with the loss of a loved one, a job, their home, or anything else meaningful to them. There has been far too much tragedy around the world. There is too much needless violence that continues to cause massive amounts of devastation. I do not and never will understand violence or selfishness because it does nothing good for anyone. I guess the way I view things is, it is almost 2022 and we should be evolving, but instead, it seems like many are devolving.

I do understand this post was not very positive, but I am just being open and real with you because I feel that is the only way to be. I have been told that I can be too honest and transparent, but I disagree. However, I would like to know what you think. Do you think anyone can ever be too honest? I had a phone interview yesterday, which I think went well. When the interviewer asked me questions, I told him that I am completely transparent and will always be honest anytime I am asked a question. I have told people before if they do not want to know what I think about something or how I feel, do not ask if you do not want an honest answer.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I do encourage you to leave a comment and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I possibly can. I hope you are doing well and staying safe as you prepare for the upcoming holiday. How are you planning to spend the holiday and are you ready for it to come? Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to have a productive conversation

Most of us have either heard about or read John Gray’s book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. Of course, the author was not being literal with the title, but using it as a metaphor. Men and women have several similarities, but also have numerous differences. I do think if we all behaved and thought the same, the world would be an incredibly tedious and dull existence.

The ways men and women communicate with one another, family, friends, co-workers, and anyone else they meet are distinct from each other. The unique way our minds are wired typically makes women want to talk and men want to act. Understanding the ideal and most effective way to communicate with the different sexes, will help create a healthier relationship.

In the rest of this post, I am going to share several ways to communicate with men. Honestly, when we comprehend the fact, our brains are wired differently, we can approach our interactions appropriately.

One of the most important things to do when communicating with a man is, be direct. Make them aware you have something important to talk about. Do not beat around the bush and be sure to have their undivided attention. The truth is, women have an increased level of concentration in the parts of the brain responsible for language and memory.

Another easy, but necessary thing to do is eliminate all distractions. Simply put, women can multitask, and men struggle to multitask. You cannot expect to have a good and meaningful conversation with a man that is watching TV, listening to music, or reading a book. It may be beneficial to move the conversation to a room that does not have any distractions readily available. You want to be sure you will not lose a man’s concentration with anything that will entertain his mind.

Avoid starting the conversation by placing blame on him. For instance, beginning the discussion or at any point saying something that may be perceived as an attack will not usually work well. As opposed to saying, “You never listen to me”, try starting with positive comments such as “I know that you care” or “I know how much stress you have been under”. Simple things like this can open the lines of communication and prevent any hostility.

It is important to be upfront about what is needed from the conversation. Men are typically problem solvers and women often want to vent about their problems or simply talk through potential solutions. Before the conversation goes too far, it is essential to express exactly what is wanted from the conversation.

Research has discovered that men can easily misread body language and recognizing facial expressions is not easy for them. Getting upset and asking yourself, “Why do I have to ask him to take the trash out?”, will not solve anything. Keep things easy and say exactly what you mean and need. This means, come right out, and ask him to do what you want him to do.

Remember to remain focused on the current situation. Research has suggested women have extra blood flowing to the parts of the brain responsible for storing and retrieving past situations. What this means is it is easy for women to bring up the past, which will destroy the chance of any productive outcomes.  It is critical to resist the urge in the heat of the moment to mention past situations.

It is not easy when something is weighing on your mind, but it is extremely important to not talk for too long. Men tend to have lower stamina and patience than women do for prolonged conversations. During these conversations, pay attention to signs he is getting bored, or his patience begins to run low. It is counterproductive to push the conversation past a certain point. To be sure you have a productive conversation with minimal frustration, it may be helpful to take breaks and have a few short discussions.

Conversations with men do not have to be complicated. We can all interact with each other and keep the peace. Considering women are initiative, they can sense when a man is not paying attention or getting too agitated and can walk away for a while. Taking your time with conversations that are important will be productive in regard to the situation at hand, but also make the relationship stronger.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information I have shared was helpful. I would love the chance to read your comments and what you think. I hope you have had a nice, relaxing, and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

What is an Empath?

The majestic world we share is beautiful, intriguing, exciting, and astonishing. If we can be open-minded, understanding, compassionate, and sincere, we can be presented with many opportunities for growth and knowledge. Our curiosity and desire empower us to learn. Knowledge is important for everyone to possess and if used correctly can make incredible changes.

Originally, I planned to only do one post about this interesting topic, but now I decided it would be better to do in two parts. There is too much information for one post and separating the posts will make each post shorter and more interesting or at least that is what I hope for.

There are several things I find riveting. Two of them most of you already know, I love to read and write. Something I think is extremely interesting is psychology. This is a topic that needs to be shared and researched more because mental health is so fragile and mysterious as there is so much unknown. Every individual’s personality is uniquely molded for only one person. We are all different and interesting and distinctive.

Do you know what is means to be an empath? People that are empaths are exceedingly aware of the emotions of others. Their awareness is so strong, they can feel the emotions others feeling themselves. Those that are empaths see the world differently than others. They are intensely aware of others, the pain others feel, and what their emotional needs are.

People that are empaths are extremely sensitive and can sense thoughts and feelings of those surrounding them. It is important to understand the different variations of empaths there are, which I am going to briefly explains.

Physical empaths can not only understand what is happening in their body but can understand others physical symptoms as well. They tend to take on the illness’s others are experiencing themselves.

All empaths are incredibly sensitive, but intuitive empaths can also recognize minuscule energies, emotions, and physical symptoms of others. Intuitive empaths consume the energies they sense from others, positive or negative into their bodies and feel them as if they were their own.

While empaths are highly sensitive to others, plant empaths uniquely engage with the needs of plants. These individuals can make exceptional gardeners or landscapers because they instinctually know the needs that plants have.

Those who are earth empaths are an exceptional type. They are avidly aware of the nature in the world. Things such as the beauty of waterfalls, trees in the forest, and flowers in an open field stimulate and invigorate earth empaths, and harmful air pollutants cause them to feel exhausted and sickly.

Animal empaths are one of my favorites and I resonate with. Animal empaths can have traits from other empaths but surround themselves with animals. When they are out in public, they are often spending time with animals instead of people. These people have a significant and memorable bond with animals, which provides them an ability to feel their needs and communicate with them in a gentle and calming manner.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read what I have shared. I hope you found this information interesting and provided you a better understanding of empaths. In the next post, I am going to share some signs to indicate if you are an empath. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond to all of them as quickly as I can. It would be interesting to know if you see yourself as an empath and which best fits you. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Overcoming challenging obstacles~

Many things that happen in life were not planned and were completely unexpected. When these unplanned situations occur, they can turn our lives upside down and inside out. What do you do to pull yourself together and continue moving forward? Do you take a break and rebuild what feels like a collapse of your life? Do you surrender to the struggles, curl up in a ball, and wait for the storm to pass? Do you keep fighting with the strength you have internally and continue living your life?

As y’all already know, I was laid off from my job last week. Of course, even though it was always in the back of my mind that layoffs could happen, I was not expecting to be laid off so close to Christmas. Over the past few days, I have been processing my emotions and trying to let go of my anger and sadness. I have decided to do everything possible to stay positive and move forward with my life. This does not mean I will not still go through moments when I am irate and then sad, but I am going to try not letting these negative emotions consume and destroy my happiness.

Going through hard times happens to everyone, but there are several ways to overcome hard times. I hope the following ways to overcome hard times will help you the next time you face challenges, struggles, and or hardships.

One of the most important things is to understand, things will not always be as difficult as they are initially, and they will get easier. I have always believed that everything in life happens for a reason and something better is waiting for us. We cannot change the hardships when they occur, all we can do is accept and embrace them, and carry on.

With any struggle we endure there are valuable lessons to learn. The struggles we experience during our life offers us the strength we will need for tomorrow, next week, and or next year. I will admit any struggle I go through I always ask myself the same questions, “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is this happening to me?” I understand blaming bad situations on my bad luck or anyone else does not fix or change anything. Accepting that no one is perfect and identifying our faults can help welcome change and improvements into our life!

Struggles can be exhausting, painful, and incredibly stressful. For our mental health we must try living for the day. Do not worry about what happened yesterday or last week, do not worry about what could happen tomorrow, just think about the current moment. If we are always worried about tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year, our anxiety will continuously be extremely high, and this is an unhealthy way to live our short life.

Understanding what you can control and what you have no control over is very important. We can control our actions and reactions, but we do not have any control over anyone else’s actions or reactions. When we learn to let go of controlling others or things, we can solely focus inward!

We often feel alone when we are going through a challenging time in life. It is always important to have someone that you can trust and be able to talk with them open and honestly. I know without a doubt that my three cats know how I am feeling all the time and they are delighted that I am with them more now that I do not have a job. I think everyone knows how much I love animals and that we treat our cats like they are our children because they kind of are! Anyone that goes through something difficult in life that leaves them feeling lost needs a sweet furry friend that can make anyone smile!

On Sunday evening, I had a nice chat with my former supervisor about the layoffs. Not the supervisor I reported to at the time of the layoff, the one I was working with for a few weeks before that I just adore and respect. Chatting with her, made things feel a little better because she did not know what was going to happen on Thursday and I trust what she says. This makes me think that “maybe” my supervisor did not know as well, but I will never know what she did or did not know.

Being able to view this layoff situation in a more positive mindset means I will have more time to do the things I love and that give me the outlet needed in life. I am thankful that I will be able to focus more on building on my writing skills and learn of other ways to use the skills I learn. I have always enjoyed writing and working 40 hours a week made it difficult because at the end of the day, I was always too exhausted to focus on writing. I am also going to have more time to read the books I have been wanting to read.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today and read what I have shared. I always welcome your comments, which I will respond to even faster now because I have the time. I hope you had a great and safe weekend, and your week starts great and gets even better with each day that passes. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Handling a layoff at Christmas

It is extremely unfortunate, but life tends to be accompanied by various challenges. Everything we go through in our life may seem life-altering and impossible to overcome at the time of the situation. It is critical to try seeing each experience in a logical mindset. If we attempt to process and analyze every challenge at the same time, it can become overwhelming. To avoid becoming overloaded with devastation, take your time to process what you have endured before reacting.

There will never be a good time to encounter any type of challenge. For instance, this past Thursday the mortgage company I was working for did a mass layoff. Although this was something I was expecting to happen, it was still traumatic news. Regrettably, I was one of many included in the layoffs.

Of course, there is never a good time to be laid off from a job, but Christmas time is an incredibly awful time. I have gone through so many emotions since Thursday afternoon and still am processing the atrocious news. The good thing is that I was as prepared as one can be to be laid off from their job. When I accepted the job, I knew it would always be a possibility to happen and I knew that I could not go without health insurance, so I am on my husband’s insurance. If I had to worry about insurance on top of looking for a job, my stress level would skyrocket to unhealthy levels.

I am not sure this is a good way to put it, but another reason I am luckier than others that went through this layoff is my husband and I do not have children. We do not have to worry about feeding children and other expenses that come with children. I cannot imagine what those that were laid off are going through losing a job so close to Christmas. I do know one of the people that were laid off was talking about returning the gifts she bought.

As I continue to try seeing the good things with this layoff, my husband and I live within our means. Meaning we do not have several car payments, a high mortgage, credit card debt, and other debts to worry about paying. I have always believed that we should all live within our means and try our best to have savings account for situations like layoffs.

Even though I am doing my best to stay positive, I do have my moments when I am extremely angry about this. My anger is higher than I would prefer it to be, especially because right before the “layoff” meeting I point blank asked my supervisor if layoffs were coming, which she lied about and said she did not even know what the meeting was about. I mean come on, anyone that would believe that is not being realistic. Along with the anger and often at the same time, I am sad and cry. I know anger and tears are not going to fix the issues, but I am working through the emotions at hand. No matter how hard I try to let go of my anger, I still think it is insensitive, selfish, and evil to do layoffs a couple of weeks away from Christmas.

I am trying to continue reminding myself that everything in life happens for a reason and there is something out there waiting for me that is better than the job I had. Of course, with the issues with COVID, I must find a job working from home. I cannot work in an office setting due to my immune system, so that might be a challenge. There was one good thing that came because of COVID and that is many companies are doing remote work because they realized with some industries, work can be done as easily at home as it is in an office and maybe even more effectively.

I was not going to write about my layoff because it is still so fresh in my mind and heart, but I wanted to share my story and hope it would help anyone else that goes through this type of situation. It is normal to go through many emotions when you lose a job, whether it be from a layoff or being fired. I want to tell y’all, any time one door closes another one opens and what is behind that door might be better and make you even happier. It is so important to know how much you are worth and how valuable you truly are!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is no matter how much you think you can trust a supervisor, you cannot because at the end of the day it is just business. I would love the chance to read your comments about this terrible experience and I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to stop being your own worst critic

Something we have all experienced in life is criticism. This can be constructive criticism that we can use as a growth opportunity. Of course, constructive criticism should be given in a friendly manner and with good intentions. Even though constructive criticism will not normally be positive, it should be focused on helping others improve and not tearing another person down.

Unlike constructive criticism, there is destructive criticism. People may attempt to disguise destructive criticism as constructive, but it is only negative comments. This type of criticism is intended to be the following, to be a personal attack, cause harm to the other person’s self-esteem, done in public with demeaning comments, or be hypercritical or needlessly finicky and impossible to please. It is important to know if you ever experience this, you do not have to endure the abuse. Shut the person down immediately or if it happens at work report it to your supervisor or HR department.

Criticism does not always come from another person because we can be our own worst critics. I can admit that I am much harder and criticize myself more than another else does or ever could. I understand that this is something I need to work on and would like to help others that deal with this as well.

Until recently, I never acknowledged or understood that there are many reasons why people end up being their biggest critic and worst enemy. Some common reasons for this kind of thinking are low self-esteem, your desire to do better being taken to an extreme, perfectionism, or childhood experiences that made you believe that you are not worthy.

As we try ending our patterns of self-criticism, we need to train our brains in a new way of thinking. Embracing self-compassion is critical. This helps to learn that regardless of imperfections we are worthy. No one is perfect and we are all just humans that are perfectly imperfect. Our imperfections do not mean we do not deserve kindness, love, or compassion.

The following tips I am going to share could help you end your cycle of self-criticism and help you to see your value.

Be your own best friend. Think about how you would talk to your best friend or any friend when they are having a hard time. I would imagine that you would not talk to this person in an ugly and judgmental tone, but you would be encouraging and non-judgmental. We can do this with ourselves just as easily if we are patient enough.

Start and continue journaling. Simply putting your pen down on paper can do amazing things for us. Writing down what you are experiencing can help you view the situation or situations in a different light and with more self-compassion.

Recognize what can and cannot be controlled. There are many things in life we do not have control over and with that understanding, why should we criticize ourselves for not gaining control and doing better? Sounds a little crazy, right? It is crucial for us to recognize what we are and are not responsible for. Now it is time to show compassion when we make mistakes in the areas, we did not have control over.

Experiment with breathing exercises. Different breathing exercises work differently for everyone because we are all unique. Experiment with breathing exercises until you discover which works best for you. Breathing exercises can work to keep our minds calm. Once we are calmer, we will be able to view ourselves in a less self-critical way and with more self-compassion.

Demonstrate gratitude. It is in our human nature to wish for what we are missing or lacking. The power that is in appreciating what we do have is extremely beneficial. This does not have to be a difficult task and can be as simple as writing down a few things we are grateful for at the end of each day. When we put emphasis on what we are grateful for, we are providing ourselves with a softer inner voice, which can help us focus less on our imperfections. This can also help us focus on the beauty within the world around us.

Challenge negativity. We do not need to accept all our thoughts as facts. All those negative thoughts that are running through our minds are not always the truth. When we notice these negative thoughts begin to invade our day, consider positive or at least neutral thoughts to replace them with. We never need to let our inner critic consume us because we can counter and challenge those thoughts, which will help to slow that negative downward spiral down.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. If you are like me, I am sorry and hope the information in this post will help you defeat your inner critic. I know it is not going to be easy, but I think we can all accomplish this! I am very interested in reading your comments and I promise to respond to all of them as soon as I can. I hope you are having a good week and you are taking care of your needs. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, compassion, comfort, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa