Find Out Who You Are (56 Questions)

I thought this was a wonderful idea one of my fellow bloggers posted yesterday and wanted to share it with all of you. I think this is a great way to get to know others!! I will be sharing my answers shortly!

Discovering Your Happiness

Hello loves, ❤

Please see below 56 questions on finding out who you really are?

I shall put my answers to these questions tmrw, so stay tuned 🙂

  1. Do I believe that everything is meant to be, or do I think that things just tend to happen for no reason at all?
  2. Do I forgive and forget? Or do I forgive, but always remember?
  3. If I could give one piece of advice to everyone in the world, what would it be?
  4. Do I think that people can change, or that they just are who they are?
  5. Would I consider myself to be religious or spiritual?
  6. Would my 10-year-old self be proud of me?
  7. What do I think is the best revenge?
  8. What would I change about myself?
  9. On the flip side, what would I never change about myself?
  10. Can I confidently say that the path I am on in life…

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Day 2 back at work

WednesdayYesterday, my second day back at work was not very successful. I had planned to be at work longer than I was on Monday, but after only 3 hours was starting to feel absolutely terrible. Last night, I could not sleep at all because my pain was so extreme. I ended up not going to work today because of not sleeping and being in too much pain. I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day!

Trying to heal from my most recent exacerbation has been pretty difficult and I do not really know why. I am trying to remain positive because I do believe that is the only way healingto deal with hard times. If you constantly stay in the negative mind-set, things will never improve. But honestly, I have been being positive and getting rest, but things are not getting any better. I guess it is possible that I am trying to rush myself to get well and I am being hard on myself if I can not do something, like going to work today. I know my manager is very understanding, but I just want things to be normal again. I could not even do my daily post yesterday because I felt so horrible. I guess tomorrow is always another day to try again!

I am planning to rest tonight and try turning my brain off for a little while. I will do my best to go back to work tomorrow with my adjusted hours, but if for some reason I can not do it, it is going to be okay. We can not rush the way our bodies feel because all that 6a0120a8df43e7970b01b7c8136efe970bwill do is push us in the wrong direction. It is frustrating to think in my mind that I can do everything I was able to do a few months ago but when I try, I can not do it. Pain is such a difficult thing to deal with. No one is able to see what you are going through and trying to explain it is almost impossible! My husband keeps trying to reassure me that my flare up issues will pass just as they have always done before, I am just having a hard time seeing the light at the end of this dark tunnel. I think it is harder for me this time because this is the worst flare up I have had in the 16 years I have had MS. 

Thank you for stopping by and reading my thoughts for the day. As always I truly love your comments and I do always respond as quickly as possible. Our communications really do make me so happy. I am planning to do a few posts explaining when I was first diagnosed and what I went through, I just have to wait until I am feeling a little better. I really hope y’all had a good day today and I hope you have a great evening!!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

 

Posted in Flare Up, Healing, Learning to rest, MS, Pain, Return to Work | 9 Comments

Back to work!

Monday 5I hope y’all had a good Monday! I actually went back to work today, for a half of day. It is crazy how much working for four hours can take so much out of you! Of course I have not worked in about a month, so I think my body was in shock. Hopefully things will get better as the week goes on.

I am trying to move back into the flow of work slowly, so that I do not fall backwards in my road to recovery. I did think about just working four hours a day this entire week, but I think I will wait to decide after a few days have gone by. Maybe my body will adjust to work again and it will not hurt as much as it did today. After a few hours today my body was screaming at me to go back home. When I came home at 1:30 I just wanted to lay down and get comfortable. never ending pain

I am hoping that tomorrow, being my second day back at work will go a little smoother. Maybe I can add a few more hours each day until I am back to working 8 hours! If any of you have any advice on how to work through pain, I am all ears!

Thank you for stopping by and reading my thoughts for the day. This was a pretty short post, just because of my pain today. I just wanted to give y’all a quick update! As always I truly love your comments and I do always respond as quickly as I can. Our communications really do make me so happy! I hope you have a great evening! I am hopeful that my day tomorrow will be better than it was today. I just need to figure out a way to make my desk at work a little more comfortable! 

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 48 Comments

Time change confusion!

Fall backI hope y’all had a great weekend! I remembered to change our clocks last night before we went to bed, but for some reason this morning I was so confused as to what time it was. No clue by, but I was trying to set it back again. 

This is by far my favorite time of year. I know it gets dark earlier, but this  of year it is not too hot and not too cold, it is just right! Summers in the south are way too hot! I mean you step out side and you can not breath. Winters can be cold in the south, but they are very tolerable. Even though winters are not extremely cold, I do still enjoy the Autumn crispness and beautiful colors as the leaves fall. There is a calmness, when you look outside and see all the leaves changing colors! 

Today, there has been a darkness outside and definitely a little chill in the air. The crazy thing is, the weather will go from being cloudy and in the upper 60’s today, to rainy in the 70’s tomorrow and then mid-week drop again to the upper 60’s. The fluctuation of the temperatures does not allow our bodies to adjust to the changes, which typically causes me a lot more pain issues. 

As y’all know, I have been out of work for about one month now, battling my most recent 6601871244d8d3798da7c92b540e2044--dont-give-up-quotes-dont-give-upexacerbation. It has not been an easy month, but I am doing my best. I have tried this several times before, but I am trying again to go back to work tomorrow. I will be working  shorter days Monday-Wednesday, and then re-evaluating how I am feeling to determine my hours for the rest of the week. I am taking things slow, so that I do not slide backwards in my healing process. I am hoping taking things at a snail pace will be easier! Even though things did not work out for me before when I tried going back, I did not give up and I am trying again!

I am of course tired of living in pain, but I am learning  to try to almost ignore it. Ignoring the pain is not always easy , but I am just trying to focus my mind on other things. Honestly, some days my pain is so high that I am not able to focus on anything at all! It is almost like looking at a blank page when I try to read my book. I am trying to learn to take things on slowly , even reading in very small amounts, negativejust so I can make it through least a chapter.  I am really hopeful that I will do well back at work tomorrow and hopefully not have an increased amount of pain!

I truly hope y’all enjoyed your weekend and you are ready for the new week to start! I think it is important to start a new week with positive thoughts and not hold onto anything that may be negative from the previous weeks! When you go into a new week with a positive mind-set, it will only be able to bring happiness to your life!  We do all go through possibly long periods of time when we feel like nothing is going to change, but if you want there to be change in your life, you have to do something to make it happen. Unfortunately, things do not change if we just sit by waiting on the changes with all talk and no action.

As always please leave a comment and I will respond as quickly as I can! I have had the opportunity to get to know so many amazing people during my 4 months of doing this blog. I really look forward to getting to know many more people and hopefully what I write in my blog will help, inspire and encourage others when they are going through hard times.  Y’all take care and remember that you are not alone with what you are dealing with in life. There is always someone who does understand!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

 

Posted in MS, Pain, Return to Work, Support is important | 2 Comments

Very Restful Saturday!

pajamas all day!We all need a day that we sleep in and then continue to rest for an entire day! Today is my day to do all of that. I actually sleep in this morning, well until one of my precious cats decided it was a good time to jump in my face to wake me up, but I think she knew it was past the time for our other cat to get his asthma medicine he takes every morning. 

Sometimes, I think that all of us try to push the limits for what we should do. Maybe I am wrong and most people know their limits and do not push them, unfortunately I am not one of those people! I mean for the most part I know my limits, but do not like being restricted and push beyond them. Heck I tried going back to work last week but my body just was not there yet and I ended up out for another week. I am really bad at asking for help when I know I need it but I am trying to get better about that. 

I know most of you can relate to how I am feeling, I just want to live a normal life without any pain or restrictions! I want to be able to wake up and say “I am feeling good today!”, but unfortunately I can not seem to get to that point. Considering I know that as of now, there is not a cure for MS, so I think it is important to just embrace and accept MS as life. Before my most recent exacerbation, I was able to embrace all that MS  wasTime out throwing at me with grace. This last exacerbation was so hard to embrace, but I wonder if I just accepted the issues I was having, if I could have made it past everything easier and faster. Questioning myself is not going to help anything because I really tried and followed doctors orders to the letter!

Overall, I want to believe that the hard times I have gone through, have made me a better and stronger person. We all have hard times that really build our character, even if we do not realize it. Living with a chronic illness or really just living can be hard, but we are all strong enough to never give up. Moving on past the hard times is really more difficult than the onset of issues. Everything we deal with in life, no matter how easy or difficult it is, should make us proud and a lot more empathetic towards others. 

If you really take a look at the people we have known for years, or some that we just met, do we really know what they are dealing with in life? Do we know the struggles someone Lovehas gone through to get to where they are now? I honestly feel that a lot of people are so focused on their life and their hardships, they lose sight of the fact that everyone has difficult times. I do try to understand others and what they are struggling with and I try to show compassion and that I do care! It is amazing how much it may help someone if you put forth an effort to show you care! I have actually found that when someone has a very negative attitude towards life or their jobs, that just means that need a little extra compassion. I am not saying one person can fix someone else’s outlook on life, but it may help them feel a little better about themselves.

I hope y’all are having a great weekend! It is a rainy gloomy day here today, so it really was the perfect day to just rest and enjoying relaxing! As always, please leave a comment and I will respond to you as quickly as I can!  The weekend is quickly coming to an end, so enjoy the remainder of it! Take care!!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

 

 

 

Posted in Emotions, MS, Positive Minds, Uncategorized | 35 Comments

Where is the love?

butterfly eveningThis post has very little to do with MS and more to do with the big picture of life. Of course MS is part of my daily life, but there is so much more than that going on around me. I am that person that tries avoiding watching the news, because there is never really anything positive being said. So I think, why allow the negative to invade the life I am trying to make positive? 

It really makes me so sad to see all the hate in the world today. There are way too many what appear to be random shootings, killing innocent people and destroying lives. I have family that lives in NYC, so the most recent event really scared me. Thankfully my family was not harmed, but there were 8 lives taken too soon and 11 injured during this tragedy, leaving the families to pick up the shattered pieces and the injured to heal. There are no excuses for the violence!

It is 2017 but the way some act you would think it was 1917. What happened to equality? Where is the love 2Why do some people, does not matter the color of their skin, feel that they are better than another? I feel strongly that everyone deserves to be treated equally and with respect, unless they do something that takes that respect away. When I talk to someone I do not see the color of their skin, their choice of religion or whom they love does not affect the way I see them. To me, everyone is free to love who they love, worship who they choose to worship and just be who they are as long they do not cause me any harm. The song by Black Eye Peas, Where is the LoveWhere is the love, really sums up how I feel. 

My hope is that there will be improvements in the world within my lifetime. I do not remember there being this much adversity when I was younger, but maybe I was just too young and native to see things the way they were. It is possible that as I get older I am seeing people and their actions for what they really are. where is the love

I have made arrangements with my job about how and when I will be returning to work. I am going to go back to work, hopefully on Monday but my hours will be adjusted. I am going to work Monday and Tuesday from 10-3 and Wednesday 10-2 due to an appointment I have. After Wednesday, I am going to access how I am feeling and figure out what I can handle the remainder of the week. My manager completely understands that I have to take things slowly so I do not set my healing back and can work to the best of my ability. 

I hope y’all had a good day and that your evening is going well! I know this post had a few different thoughts so if you have any comments please feel free to leave them and I will respond to you just as quickly as I can. I hope that the beginning of this post did not offend anyone because that was not my intent, I am honestly just a little upset about the way some treat others. I will always pride myself on treating others in a way that I want to be treated which is with respect and compassion! Thank you so much for reading my rant and about my plans! Take Care and stay positive!!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

Posted in Emotions, Healing, MS, Positive Minds, Uncategorized | 20 Comments

Outing today!

WednesdayI hope y’all had a good Wednesday! I spent this afternoon having lunch with my mother and getting a new pair of glasses, so I do not always have to wear my contacts. The day went very well and lunch with my mother was very nice! It is amazing how only going to lunch and one store to get glasses can wear someone out. After only 4 hours out of the house, I came home in a great amount of pain. Simple things like today never took so much energy before and caused me to feel so much fatigue. But now I have to get myself rested because I am going back to work tomorrow for only 4 hours. I hope going back to work won’t set me back on healing and I will bounce back sooner than later!

I keep telling myself that so many people deal with much worse than I am going through right now, so giving into the pain is not an option. Keeping a positive mind dealing with this flare up is hard but also extremely important. If I give up now, all that shows is weakness and I am surrendering to the battle. Does crying while in pain really do any good? I do not believe it does. So I am setting a goal for myself to keep moving forward and take things slow. If my pain starts getting to a point where it isn’t tolerable, I will resttired of everything with my heating pad. If I start feeling overly fatigue, I will lay down and try to nap. I am really horrible at napping, but I can start making the effort to do so. Is it worth getting angry with myself or a situation if I am not able to do everything I was able to do a few months ago? Absolutely not! During difficult times when your body is fighting you to take things at a different pace than you are used to, is your body’s way of helping you to slow down. Small and temporary adjustments will make a huge difference! Of course I am tired of the pain and weakness but I will fight through and become stronger in time!

I do know that going back to work tomorrow is going to take a lot of strength and patience, but I also know that I can do this! I have a song that really helps give me hope while dealing with all this! David Osmond, I Can Do This. I am trying to attach the YouTube video, so I hope this works!!https://youtu.be/2l1lTkKsaDs

I hope y’all have a great evening! As always please leave any comments you may have and I will respond to you as quickly as I can! I am sorry in advance if this video for David Osmond’s song does not work, but if for some reason it does not you can find it on YouTube. I swear YouTube has everything you could possibly want to watch, it is amazing how great the internet works! Take Care!!

Love 2

Always, Alyssa

 

 

 

 

Posted in MS, Pain, Positive Minds, Return to Work | 15 Comments

Down kind of day

helloGood Evening Y’all! I hope you had a good day! As always, please leave a comment and I will respond to you as quickly as I am able to!

For some reason today was one of those days, I just wanted to curl up on the couch and just kind of be alone. I guess it is common with those of us with MS and probably any chronic illness to have those days when our moods are a little out of sort. I am sure that this will pass just like everything else.

I am planning tomorrow to go to get updated pair glasses, so when I do not feel like messing with contacts, I will still be able to see. I do not know if it is just me but wearing contacts all day long end up irritating my eyes. During my outing, I am planning to have lunch with my mother. Considering the amount of fatigue and pain I experience we are only going to those two places and then back home, I really do not want to wear myself out too much the day before I return to work. 

I did not do much today but I am so exhausted, I can hardly keep my eyes open but I also could not take a nap. I guess it is because my mind just will not stop running on overdrive. I am trying to keep the stress I feel under control by reading my book that is all about stress and I started crocheting a blanket! In the past crocheting always helped me relax because my mind is thinking about the blanket I am making. Funny thing is, I create the lifecompletely forgot how to even begin my blanket because it has been about a year since I did my last one. So I watch one video on YouTube and it all came back to me! I do think the most frustrating part of crocheting is the beginning part of  whatever you decide to make. Once that initial part is done of starting what you are making it gets so easy and just clears your mind. I have several blankets I have made in the past that I am thinking about donating to the Crisis  Ministry. Last year I already donated several scarfs I made to Crisis Ministry. 

I hope y’all are doing well and having a good evening! Take care and always remember if you need anything, I am here to try to help as much as I can!!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

Posted in Emotions, MS, Uncategorized | 16 Comments

Gilenya Is Back!

Monday 5What a way to start the week! It is official, I am back on the Gilenya. I had a doctor at my house a little before 9 am this morning and his assistant came a little bit after that. I immediately liked the doctor that came out, but could have done without the assistant! The doctor was a very sweet and gentle older man who both of my cats even liked. The assistant had a bad start because she got lost getting to my house, even with GPS, and was so frazzled she was just extremely abrupt. As I said yesterday, I was told all I would need to provide was a work space for them, which I did, but she thought she should be able to sit in the living room and watch TV. I never actually said no you can not sit in the living room just watching TV, I just said I was told to provide you a space that you could work in. She ended up being allergic to my cats and left for a few hours to get medication for it and then sat in her car until the last few minutes, which was really okay with me!

The first thing that was done this morning was, the doctor asked me a few question about any medications I was on and if I had any heart troubles. After that the assistant performed an EKG on me and did vital signs. Once everything checked out with the EKG and vitals, I was able to take the first dose of Gilenya. For the first hour and a half my vitals were checked every 30 minutes but then changed to every hour. During the course of the 6 hour monitoring I chatted with the doctor some. I found out that his wife has MS, he is working on retiring, he  once worked at the VA hospital and now works 2 days a week at an Urgent Care. The last part of the monitoring was one last EKG and vital signs. The doctor did have the assistant do the last EKG twice because there was one thing that he said was very active, but the second time everything checked out. Considering I was on this medication for 6 years before, I am really not concerned about any side effects or serious issues. I know that most antibiotics have an interaction and any vaccines can cause serious problems, but I know there is one antibiotic that is safe and I do not get vaccines or the flu shot as is so this will not be a problem for me!

In a way I am glad that I made the decision to go back on Gilenya because I was pretty much flare up free while I was on it previously! I really am hopeful right now that this illness will be under control and stop causing me issues. I do not know and no one can be sure if the damage that the new lesions has caused will get better or they are permanent, but I have to remain positive. I have always been so terrified of not being able to walk asPositive thoughts butterfly normal as I always have and needing some sort of assistance, but there really is no use thinking about any what ifs. I can be honest with myself that right now things are not as I wish they were because I have a lot of pain and my legs and feet do not want to corporate all the time, but there has to be a bright side beyond this cloud of darkness. Life is not always as we planned and there are times when adjustments must be made, but that does not mean weakness or suggest you should feel any shame, it is just doing what you have to do.

Right now I am planning to return to work on Thursday. But for the first two days I am only working 4 hours and next weeks hours will be contingent on how I heal. I know the Gilenya will not work magic in a week but hopefully continuing to be on it will be effective in my progression!

I hope y’all had a good start to the week and are having a good evening! I appreciate all of you that have been encouraging as I started back on Gilenya. I have received many emails allowing me to have great conversations with so many people! I do sincerely hope that my posts help you as much as your comments help me! Take Care!!!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

Posted in Medication, MS, Positive Minds | 11 Comments

Preparing for tomorrow

Good-Evening-ButterflyGood evening Y’all, I hope you had a great Sunday! I received a phone call this afternoon from the doctor that will be here tomorrow morning to give me my first dose of Gilenya. I explained to him that I was on this medication previously for 6 years and have only been off of it for 3 months, but did understand the protocol. I told the doctor that we currently do not have a dining room table, but that I have set up a folding table for him and his assistant so they will have somewhere to work. Truthfully, I had the folding table set up for my comfort more than theirs. I do not want to have to sit in my living room with 2 people I do not know all day. I know they are probably nice people, but sometimes we need a break from feeling like we have to entertain.

I am going back on the Gilenya with a positive mind-set. Like I said, I was on Gilenya for 6 years previously and did not experience any severe flare ups, so maybe I can go Positive thoughts butterflyanother 6 years with nothing major happening! Even though I decided to go back on a medication that is strong, does not mean that I believe that my MS is aggressive, I just think it is a little sensitive and needs to be treated like so. I think that is a much better way to view things!

Now, I am very well aware of how things are supposed to go tomorrow. The doctor and his assistant will arrive at my house a little before 9 am, ask several questions, do an EKG and then give me my first dose. Once I take the first dose, the doctor or his assistant will have to monitor my vital signs every hour for 6 hours, unless I can somehow convince them they can leave earlier. Considering I know they have a protocol they have to follow, I highly doubt I can convince them to leave before the 6 hour time period as that is what the company requires, but a girl can try!. The doctor will have to do another EKG before he leaves just to make sure there were not any changes, but I am sure everything will go as well as it did my first time around with this medication!

I hope the rest of your evening goes well and I hope you have a great Monday! I will let y’all know how tomorrow goes, but I really am not at all concerned. Honestly, the only thing I was worried about was having people I do not know in my house all day, but I am sure they will not be at all bad! If any of you have experienced having home health personnel in your home and have any advice on what I should expect, please let me know. I am trying to make them feel as comfortable as I can, while still keeping my own comfort level. I know I am not allowed to leave my home the entire time they are here, but I guess they can probably go somewhere for lunch, hopefully!

Love 2

 

Always, Alyssa

Posted in Medication | 43 Comments