Fight the pain tears!

RTFRDRR_zpsstqz8fkyGood morning y’all! I hope you had a wonderful week and I really hope you have a fabulous weekend! This week was literally the first week in a while I was able to push myself through working the entire week. Despite the unrelenting pain I was feeling, I managed to work all five days for six very painful hours! Who would have ever thought that 30 hours in one week would be so difficult? I mean I used to work over 40 hours and not really struggle that much, it was just what had to be done.

There were days during this week that I did not think I would be able to continue in the day because my pain level was a 13 on the 10 scale, but I had something to prove to myself. I had to prove to no one but myself that I was still strong enough to handle a work day.  There were days that I would be almost in tears on the drive home, but that did not help the pain subside at all. Self pity has painnever really been for me, so I fought the tears vigorously trying to never allow even one tear to fall! I am not saying that tears are a sign of weakness, but I am way too stubborn to allow something like pain to keep me down for too long!

I get so tired of people saying things like, “Why do you not go on disability?” or “If this is too hard for you, go home.” or  “Why do you not just work part-time?” or just the pity stares because they are just making some unnecessary judgment call. It is so true that the only one person truly knows how you feel and that is you. No one can understand how I really feel because they do not have to walk in my shoes. So many speculate, but until they walk in my shoes for one day they have no idea what I am fighting. There are times that words do not do any justice to what I am dealing with, so I find peace in silence.

Thankfully the weekend is here and I have the opportunity to just rest my poor brokenpain makes you stronger body and allow it to do much-needed healing. The only things I plan to do this weekend is rest, write, read and I have a new project that I am so excited to work on which is a bullet journal! I was absent from making a post for a few days because I was just trying to manage my pain. After working 6 hours in a day my back, shoulder to my finger tips and legs were in so much pain I would not have been able to write the way I wanted to. When I create a post I want to be able to write with strength and from my heart which I am not able to do when I hurt too much.

Now my fun project I will be working on, the bullet journal was inspired by a fellow blogger Hannah https://hannahelizasite.wordpress.com/, who has created some fantasticcreativity bullet journals. If you have not already viewed Hannah’s site, you definitely should because she is so incredibly amazing!!! Hannah has been very helpful to me with creating my own bullet journal by giving me advice and answering questions I had! I think this is going to be a creative and fun way to keep track of my illness! Maybe a little creativity will help ease the pain I am feeling and also allow me to find ways to see common trends and maybe correct them!

I appreciate y’all stopping by my site today and do look forward to any comments you may have. I hope you have an amazing and relaxing weekend! As always no matter what I am going through, I am sending you LOTS of love ❤and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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48 thoughts on “Fight the pain tears!

  1. You’re a warrior my friend. Your writing is honest and inspiring. It informs those of us who do not have the same challenges that you do, which makes all of us who have your back understand more each time we read your words. And the friends you’ve made who have the same challenges I’m sure to feel validated every time they read your words. Enjoy creating this weekend! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Have you ever tried tumeric as a medicine? I wonder if it might help you. And B6 is also good for pain.

    Bullet journalling.. i tried it for my blog i didnt even last a month, because i ready made diaries I think. But , it is true some peoples bullet journals are a work of art.. totally beautiful. I hope you have a restful and rejuvinating weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sad to read this. I can relate to this. The part that makes it more difficult is everyone expects us to be energetic and smiley face through this pain. People watch you living with pain everyday, they tend to forget the inner battles that we have to just get out of bed. Sadly, I am afraid, this is a cross we both have to bare. Wishing you all the best Alyssa. Hopefully, the rest of your weekend is full of sunshine, smiles, and less pain. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I used to get angry too about the pity stares, until I realized they usually weren’t pity stares at all…they were more looks of holy shit, I don’t think I could be that strong, which is actually a compliment. As someone who wears her emotions on her face (and sleeve) I am sure that I have given more than one pity stare in my life, but it was meant to be more a ” I care about you and wish I could ease your pain look”

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  5. You rock, Alyssa! You should be very proud for keeping going through such a tough week, proving to yourself that you’re more capable than you think, that your body can’t dictate everything to you. Definitely think this weekend should be RESTFUL so you can relax and heal a little (that’s an order!) Seriously though, you’ve done amazingly when your pain has been so high. Love the idea of working on the bullet journey too – have fun, let us know how you get on! 🙂
    Sending love and gentle hugs xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! Before reading your comment I was pretty irritable, but you changed my mood! I really appreciate your kind words and your order to rest this weekend. I promise to listen and follow your order!
      I will definitely keep y’all updated on my bullet journal. I might be overthinking it, but I will get things together!
      I hope you have a lovely weekend and thank you again for your never ending support!!
      Hugs!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I give you so much credit Alyssa. I follow several, ok lots of chronic illness bloggers (some have left comments on this thread). I know Steve and Grace really well and I think I know a bit about the struggles you face daily.
    I have a chronic illness as well but my symptoms, as many as they are, are not as debilitating as yours. You’re all so strong and write the best blogs because it’s all so inspirational.
    Stay strong

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my goodness Steve and Grace are so incredible! I just LOVE them!! Sweetie, we all have to stay as strong as we can because we all refuse to allow the MS to take our spirit! We all also refuse to allow this evil illness control our lives!!! Thank you SO much for your great comment!! Let’s not tell them how highly I think of them and just how much I love them and their strength!! LOL, I know they are probably reading this!!

      Like

    • Thank you so much for saying that! I do feel like everything I deal with in life has made me a stronger and wiser person, who knows if it would have happened if I never faced challenges! I hope you have a wonderful day!

      Like

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