Pushing through my daily pain becomes more of a habit that I have learned to perfect over the years! No matter how high my pain levels are, I do my best to never give up and never allow anyone to see the weakness that comes along with the intense pain. I feel as if anyone sees how pain affects me, their views of me would change drastically and I would prefer to just be viewed as who I am beyond the pain I experience. Who needs pity from others, especially when they just do not understand the real difficulties involved? Those that are closest to me and really know me can always see in my face how I truly feel; there is no hiding how I am feeling from them. Even though those closest to me know about the pain I feel, I still try to push myself further so that we can enjoy our time together.
Up until a few months ago, even though I had pain issues then, I was working 40+ hours a week. After the relapse I had in October I had to reduce my hours because I was having a difficult time making it through a full day because my pain was so intense. It was not easy for me to admit because I am pretty stubborn and did not want to allow the MS or pain to control my life. I do believe there will be a day in the future, I will be able to go back to working full-time not because of my stubborn tendencies, but because I want to. I want to live a normal life and believe that I can accomplish this goal! I have found that I do much better earlier in the day and the longer I am sitting at a desk, staring at a computer and typing, my pain increases drastically! I feel confident that I will be able to find a way to arrange my desk to make it easier for me to type and sit all day long. Most people can not seem to understand how sitting a desk could cause pain, but it does. I almost think it is because my muscles need to move some so they do not get stiff. I do realize I could get up and take a walk around the office, but that just feels uncomfortable. There are also times that my legs hurt a little too much to actually do this!
In my personal opinion if I allow for this illness to dictate how I live my life, I am not being the strong person I am. I will never be one to give up and allow this illness to win the battle we have been going through for almost 17 years. In all honesty, I do see and feel a huge change in how my body has felt over the past few years. Are those aches from the MS or is it age, now I am only 36 years old, but I do feel like I am 56 some days!
I feel that it is so important to always keep fighting against the illness/illnesses we are battling. It is not easy, but who ever said life was easy? Sometimes we have to fight in order to succeed! When dealing with doctors, we need to fight for our rights to live as comfortable of a life as possible. So many people we come in contact we do not understand whatever illness we have. What do you do in those situations? You can try to educate them on what you live with or you can just ignore the ignorance they have. I have tried so many times to educate those around me, but they do not seem to absorb what I explain. Instead they say how lucky I am to be able to work less hours and be at home where it is comfortable. I think they really do believe that it is a positive thing that I get to go home earlier than them. But what they will never understand is, I would rather be at work than at home struggling with pain.
I know many of you live with pain, so y’all know how difficult it is! How do you manage the pain you live with? Do you feel there are certain things that trigger the pain to intensify? I know stress is a huge trigger for my pain, but I do sometimes find it hard to avoid.
Thank you for visiting my site today! I look forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can! I hope you had a great day and I hope you are feeling well! Thank goodness it is almost Friday!!! As always I am sending y’all lots of love and comfort!