Good afternoon y’all! I hope you have had a wonderful day! Look on the bright side, we have made it through two days and only have three to go!
So, y’all already know that I had the brain MRI on Friday evening, but of course I am not able to get the results until Thursday afternoon when I see the Nurse Practitioner! Typically I have always been able to read the radiologists reports online, but for some UNKNOWN reason the results are blocked to my viewing! Thankfully I do honestly prefer to see the NP rather than seeing the doctor because the doctor left a really bad taste in my mouth after her reaction to the MRI I had last October. I still find her reaction very unprofessional and disturbing, but what’s done is done and there is no correcting that experience! In front of my husband she actually told us it was the WORST MRI she had ever seen! I mean I think I reacted just as anyone else would as this was a very rude and hurtful way to share the results. Unfortunately in front of her I did cry, but then got extremely angry! Her reaction made me feel absolutely terrible, like I was going downhill fast and my illness was just progressing rapidly!
On Monday when I was not able to view the radiologists report, I contacted my doctor’s office. Monday afternoon the nurse responded back to my email by saying it did not look like my MRI had changed much since the one I had in October. That should have been good news and good enough, right? But being the person I am that wants more answers, I simply asked if this was indicating that considering I was still feeling the same way and the MRI apparently had not changed all that much since October, does this mean that I am just going to feel this way for the rest of my life? I think that was a very valid question, don’t you? Today this same nurse went from saying the MRI did not show much change to saying the doctor weighed in and he was not able to share any information with me as I need to wait to see the NP. How does something change so much overnight? I just do not understand why he suddenly is unable to share anything else with me. The way my mind works is I am thinking something a little more has changed and the NP needs to discuss this with me so I am clear on the situation at hand! Do you think I am overreacting?
I can be semi-logical sometimes because I do know there is nothing I can do to change what my MRI has found, but yet I still can not get my mind to slow down! Last night being SO stressed about this, I was able to contact a fellow blogger on Facebook. I thank Alex so much as she really did make me feel so much better, but now today I am back to being stressed to the MAX! Thanks to the blogging community and people as wonderful as Alex I know I have support and encouragement when I need it most! If you have not already visited Alex’s site, I am going to strongly recommend it. Alex offers so much support, love, compassion, and understanding, which I do think you will find as well once you visit her amazing site https://mswithmsalex.com/. Sending you so much LOVE and thanks Alex!
Thank y’all for stopping by my site today and I do really look forward to your comments. Your comments always mean so much to me and really add some fantastic insights that I probably have not been able to see. I hope you have a nice and relaxing evening. Please always remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love and comfort!
Always, Alyssa
the one I have seen many time previously said to me, “Alyssa, do you have any questions before we get started?” Before I was even able to speak he said, “You know I can not tell you anything because this needs to be read by the Radiologist and I just do not have that type of knowledge. Now you also already know you can go online in a few days and read the full report.” I do tend to always ask at the end of the test if they saw anything like lesions. I hate waiting to see the doctor and I know the techs can see the images and probably have a somewhat educated guess on what they are looking at. My goodness they are so stubborn about sharing any news with me which I kind of think that is just mean, just kidding! He did make one funny remark by saying he was happy to announce that I do still have a brain!
Sunday. More than likely the reason for my pain is due to stressing about the MRI and also the argument I had with my mother on the way to the MRI. Isn’t it funny how when you are stressed about something all it takes is one comment to make the calm barriers fall down hard? The smallest of disagreements can turn into a disaster! I am not proud of this, but I am very strong in my nature and can have a hot temper when provoked. Anything I am really passionate about causes me to protect and defend it to the fullest. I will say things I mean, but it will come out in a very hostile manner. I do also believe that anything that happened yesterday is in the past and can not be changed, so all you can do is move on with life and hopefully be less hostile, but we will see about that!
will do my best to stay calm and definitely not continue thinking about “what” the results are going to tell me on Thursday. I think the only thing I can do between now and Thursday is keep my mind busy by thinking about only the positives aspects of life! Even though those positives can be hard to find because of all the negative in life are still there! Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love 
delighted that I after all this time waiting I can finally get my Cranial MRI and I will not have to pay a dime for it! I find it amazing that after living with MS for 18 very long years and having numerous MRI’s that cost a fortune, I was finally introduced to help! I know some of you do not live in the United States so this may not help you as much, but for those of you that do live in the states I am going to encourage you to visit MSAA’s website as they might be able to offer you some help 
causes my pain to be elevated tremendously, but the weekend so far has been dry and just terribly HOT!! Of course with the heat, I am just staying inside with the air conditioning as much as I possibly can! 
the company that might approve for me to get assistance with the co-pay for the extremely expensive MRI. The nurse, that is normally helpful, sent me the paperwork I needed to fill out and then send to the company MSAA, but apparently failed to send me the MRI order that the company requires. After several phone calls and emails they still have not sent this in or responded to me! The doctor is the one that wanted me to get the MRI, but I guess it was not all that important to her after-all! Maybe I am wrong, but I am taking this to mean my health is NOT all that important to her and neither is the MRI she was forcing on me. Through the fatigue and frustration, I emailed the AVP of the practice and SURPRISE still NO response!!!! I mean who else do you go to when even the AVP does not respond?
practice since my first doctor retired. My first MS Specialist was caring , compassionate and knew how to communicate, but I guess this is a new day in age and doctors like him are scarce. Communication between doctors, nurses and the patient is vital to good health care, but apparently they see things differently. Every time I see this doctor I go into her office prepared with all my questions written out, just so I do not forget anything and considering I know when I leave the office I will never get a response to my questions. I am not sure what happened to doctors that actually care about their patients, I think they are extinct like the dinosaurs! It is really sad that we pay all this money for a few moments of the doctor’s time, but sometimes feel like we are a nuisance to them? Or maybe that is just me.
love and comfort!
just isn’t working the way it should be! I am resting, staying hydrated and taking all the medications the doctor has prescribed, but there is still NO relief yet! My guess is the stress this issue is causing me is not helping me get better, but it is in fact making things so much worse! Isn’t it crazy when we know what is causing our problems to become worse, but yet we still change absolutely nothing with our thought process? Obviously I know exactly what is making all my pain more intense, but I am still getting myself worked up and upset about it anyways!
see what foods could be causing more issues for me). I want to also include a Hopes & Dreams page, Positive thinking page to really keep my mind in a happy place and a Gratitude page
. I might include a page of books that I want to read considering sometimes I think of a book I want to read, but then forget the title! Then lastly I want to include a page of ideas for my blog because I come up with random ideas, but then forget what I wanted to write about when I try to start! I guess I can contribute my forgetful mind to brain fog from the MS.
know I have done all I could do and hope they will approve my request for assistance. MRI’s even with insurance in the United States are insanely expensive. I still wonder why in the world I pay so much for my medical insurance just to have to turn around any pay tons of money for doctor’s appointments and required procedures, it just really does not seem right to me! Maybe someday the US will follow suit with the other developed countries and offer “free” health insurance. I kind of think it would be insane to hold my breath because things have been this way for many years without anyone stepping in to make GOOD changes! 
been back on the Gilenya for 6 months and they want to see if it is helping my illness. Until I mentioned that I was on Gilenya for 6 years previously they did not seem to have any idea and now it might not even be necessary. It is a little disturbing to me that my specialist did not know or remember that I was on Gilenya for so many years prior to October. When she first told me I needed to have the MRI, I thought it was to see if the new active lesions from the October MRI had went into remission or if there were new lesions, I did not know she was ordering this because of the 6 month time line due to restarting the Gilenya! If I am being 100% honest, the only reason I would want this MRI done is to see if there are new active lesions causing all this spasticity and pain. But all the MRI will do is cause me a lot of unnecessary stress and in turn upset me way too much, which we all know the damage being upset will cause. I mean seriously, if all is well with the MRI the specialist 
will say I am doing well with the Gilenya but, if there is any activity on the scan she might say the Gilenya is not strong enough for me and I need to consider starting a different medication. The bottom line is I am NOT switching medications again until there is a cure because the Gilenya worked SO well for me for 6 long years and if the MS has progressed to Secondary, Gilenya is still used to treat the illness. Do you think I am being logical or irrational with my thought process?
to have to find something that will keep me distracted. I am still experiencing so much pain, so I am really not sure if I am going to work on Monday, or if I am going to head straight to my doctor’s office to try to get the answers that I need. But, it is only Saturday and I am going to try to only think about things one day at a time! There is really no point in doing as I have always done, and try to plan my week out in advance, because things never work out perfectly! Saturday’s have always been my more restful day, and I would actually try to get things done on Sunday!
Fightmsdaily 