How to stop being your own worst critic

Something we have all experienced in life is criticism. This can be constructive criticism that we can use as a growth opportunity. Of course, constructive criticism should be given in a friendly manner and with good intentions. Even though constructive criticism will not normally be positive, it should be focused on helping others improve and not tearing another person down.

Unlike constructive criticism, there is destructive criticism. People may attempt to disguise destructive criticism as constructive, but it is only negative comments. This type of criticism is intended to be the following, to be a personal attack, cause harm to the other person’s self-esteem, done in public with demeaning comments, or be hypercritical or needlessly finicky and impossible to please. It is important to know if you ever experience this, you do not have to endure the abuse. Shut the person down immediately or if it happens at work report it to your supervisor or HR department.

Criticism does not always come from another person because we can be our own worst critics. I can admit that I am much harder and criticize myself more than another else does or ever could. I understand that this is something I need to work on and would like to help others that deal with this as well.

Until recently, I never acknowledged or understood that there are many reasons why people end up being their biggest critic and worst enemy. Some common reasons for this kind of thinking are low self-esteem, your desire to do better being taken to an extreme, perfectionism, or childhood experiences that made you believe that you are not worthy.

As we try ending our patterns of self-criticism, we need to train our brains in a new way of thinking. Embracing self-compassion is critical. This helps to learn that regardless of imperfections we are worthy. No one is perfect and we are all just humans that are perfectly imperfect. Our imperfections do not mean we do not deserve kindness, love, or compassion.

The following tips I am going to share could help you end your cycle of self-criticism and help you to see your value.

Be your own best friend. Think about how you would talk to your best friend or any friend when they are having a hard time. I would imagine that you would not talk to this person in an ugly and judgmental tone, but you would be encouraging and non-judgmental. We can do this with ourselves just as easily if we are patient enough.

Start and continue journaling. Simply putting your pen down on paper can do amazing things for us. Writing down what you are experiencing can help you view the situation or situations in a different light and with more self-compassion.

Recognize what can and cannot be controlled. There are many things in life we do not have control over and with that understanding, why should we criticize ourselves for not gaining control and doing better? Sounds a little crazy, right? It is crucial for us to recognize what we are and are not responsible for. Now it is time to show compassion when we make mistakes in the areas, we did not have control over.

Experiment with breathing exercises. Different breathing exercises work differently for everyone because we are all unique. Experiment with breathing exercises until you discover which works best for you. Breathing exercises can work to keep our minds calm. Once we are calmer, we will be able to view ourselves in a less self-critical way and with more self-compassion.

Demonstrate gratitude. It is in our human nature to wish for what we are missing or lacking. The power that is in appreciating what we do have is extremely beneficial. This does not have to be a difficult task and can be as simple as writing down a few things we are grateful for at the end of each day. When we put emphasis on what we are grateful for, we are providing ourselves with a softer inner voice, which can help us focus less on our imperfections. This can also help us focus on the beauty within the world around us.

Challenge negativity. We do not need to accept all our thoughts as facts. All those negative thoughts that are running through our minds are not always the truth. When we notice these negative thoughts begin to invade our day, consider positive or at least neutral thoughts to replace them with. We never need to let our inner critic consume us because we can counter and challenge those thoughts, which will help to slow that negative downward spiral down.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. If you are like me, I am sorry and hope the information in this post will help you defeat your inner critic. I know it is not going to be easy, but I think we can all accomplish this! I am very interested in reading your comments and I promise to respond to all of them as soon as I can. I hope you are having a good week and you are taking care of your needs. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, compassion, comfort, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

What is resilience and why is it important?

Resilience comes in various ways that we might not understand. Unfortunately, there have been many times in life, previously or recently, we have endured challenging times that require resilience we did not realize we have. You might not have been anywhere near New York City when the tragic events of September 11, 2001, occurred but it was a devastation that was felt around the world. Some survivors were on the ground dealing with the rubbles and some that were possibly in the building or nearby buildings seeing what took place. Even after withstanding the deadly tragedies of this day, those that faced them have managed to find joy through the darkness of their losses.

Resilience is the ability to recover from difficulties quickly. There are four types of resilience we have which include physically, mentally/psychologically, emotionally, and socially. All of these are demanding and not necessarily skills that we are born with or know we possess, but there are ways we can build on them. I will explain each type to provide a little clarification.

Physical resilience is a situational problem that can be improved upon. This refers to our body’s ability to adjust to challenges, maintain our strength, and the potential to recover efficiently. This is a person’s ability to recover or be able to function when faced with illness, an accident, or another type of physical demand. This is something that is refined by endurance exercise, flexibility, balance, maintaining a healthy diet, and resistance training.

Mental or psychological resilience is having the ability to either cope mentally or emotionally with hardships, stress, emotional challenges, and mental health distress. This type of resilience is critical because it provides people with the strength needed to process and defeat misfortunes or afflictions. Those that do not have mental resilience may become easily overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Emotional resilience can be linked with mental/psychological resilience. This is related to a person’s ability to adjust to stressful situations or dilemmas. Those individuals that have this type of resilience can “roll with the punches” and adapt to any challenges they are faced with. Unfortunately, people that lack emotional resilience often find minor or major ordeals difficult to handle.

Lastly, social resilience is regarding social bodies and the person’s abilities to adjust, tolerate, absorb, and cope with environmental and or social threats. This is important for us, so we have healthy and social connections that help make stronger people and communities that can withstand, manage, and recover from tragedies.

It is important in life to be resilient because it can protect us from several mental health conditions, which include depression and anxiety. Resilience can enhance our abilities to cope with various difficulties that could arise. The following are some tips that can help to improve our resilience.

Be connected: We should try to build strong and positive relationships. The relationships we build can be with both family and friends and can supply us with the necessary support and acceptance through good and bad times.

Make sure every day is meaningful: When we try doing something each day that gives us a sense of accomplishment, it provides purpose for the day. Setting achievable goals for the day will help us look forward to a meaningful future.

Remember & learn from experience: Think about the ways you coped with difficult times in the past and what this taught you. The previous ways you used to cope, did they help, and if not did you consider altering them? It might help to write about a past difficult experience and identify your positive and negative patterns. This can help to guide you through future hard times and how you handle them.

Continue to be hopeful: Understand that you cannot change the past, but you can look forward to the future. Accept and expect changes because it will make adapting easier. This can also help to make challenges more of an opportunity and less an obstacle, and with less anxiety.

Do not forget yourself: Remember to pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Do things that bring joy to your life, like participating in activities and or hobbies that you enjoy. Try to include physical activity in your daily routine. It is also vital to get plenty of sleep, maintain a healthy diet, and practice stress management and relaxation techniques.

Be proactive, instead of reactive: I understand it is not always easy, but do not ignore your problems. It is far better and healthier to embrace problems and figure out how to eliminate the problem or problems in your life. Decide and then act on your plan. It does take time to recover from setbacks, even when they are minor. Nothing ever happens immediately, but the situation can improve if you are willing to work on it.

First, I want to thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information I have shared about resilience was interesting and useful for you. Second, I am very interested in reading what you thought about this post, and I will respond to all your comments as quickly as I can which might be after I am done with work, but I will do what I can!

We have made it through one day of this week and have a four more to go, which I think can do! I am hoping that your week has started well and will only get better until we finally make it until Friday! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to handle holiday financial stress~

Slowly we are getting much closer to being able to celebrate and enjoy the holidays, as we did before the pandemic. Thankfully, vaccines and boosters are readily available for everyone over age 5 years old and they are free of charge. Currently, 42.7% of people worldwide have been fully vaccinated. In the United States, where I live 59.6 of the population have been fully vaccinated. I know many that have reservations of the vaccine, but how many people have died from the vaccine compared to those that died due to the virus? Maybe there have been some that died after getting the vaccine, but would they have died regardless of the vaccine?

Last year most of us were not able to celebrate holidays or even visit family because of the COVID fears. Hopefully, you were able to spend the recent holiday, Thanksgiving with your family and be thankful for the day! While we were able to enjoy the day, we have many more days ahead of us, especially if we can keep the virus under control. Of course, no one has answers to if we will face lockdowns again and fear for our lives, but we can at least try remaining hopeful.

There have been various challenges we have faced during the eighteen months of the pandemic. Unfortunately, some lost their jobs, which created financial stresses. Holidays can always come with more financial stress, but with the right amount of thought, logic, and planning, it does not have to. To help you reduce your holiday finance stress, I am going to share a few tips that might help.

Take time to give some thought to gifts. Our family and friends have different desires and wants to consider. Instead of going to the stores or shopping online mindlessly, think about each person individually. Does the person have any hobbies? Does the person enjoy personalized gifts from the heart? Does the person enjoy gifts that have other meanings? Children are typically easy to please and just enjoy a physical item they can open. Children also tend to want the newest toy available but might also enjoy arts and crafts. Therefore, a coloring book, crayons, colorful paper, and markers may keep they entertained and happy for hours!

You may also be able to divide people into different categories. This can help prioritize who you are buying for and the costs of what is purchased. With this shopping will become more about giving something meaningful, instead of just buying random items.

Create a list that you can follow. This is like going grocery shopping, which some of you might not make a list before you go grocery shopping. Do you find having something in your hand to shop with is helpful? So, you do not forget things you need or buy things that are not necessary? Creating a holiday shopping list will prevent you from impulse buying. It can be easy to start shopping for family and find something you want, that is on sale.

Creating a list that does not include yourself and stay concentrated solely on your list can help maintain your financial focus. Once you decide who you want to buy for and have an idea what the person would like, you can check things off along the way, which can provide you satisfaction for staying on task and completing an important task.

Understand your reason for holiday shopping. Once you get started with your holiday shopping, you might start feeling overwhelmed. Thoughts such as what and who you should do for, and feelings of stress being to build up inside. When you feel this start, take a step back from the situation and remember why you are holiday shopping. Also try to connect with the moment and pace yourself. Mindful breathing and meditation might help you to stay calm.

After you connect and check in with your body, ask you’re a few simple questions. Why is this important to you? Who and why are you trying to impress someone? Do you think anyone will be disappointed with your gift or are they expecting something different? Understanding the source of your stress may help you to keep it from getting too out of control.

Obviously, no one wants to disappoint someone else, but most of the time your family is not going to be disappointed. Our family just wants the chance to spend time together and creating new memories. Truthfully, it would only be a shallow type of person that would be disappointed with what we give them. Although we do all know someone that would be that shallow and they might be one of our family members, try to not allow yourself to fall into that mindset. Just remember, holidays are not about what you get or how much you spend, it is about being surrounded by loved ones!

I hope what I have shared will help reduce your stress around the holidays. It is supposed to be a time of joy, not unnecessary additional stress. Life is already difficult enough and we deal with other stresses that we cannot avoid. I do look forward to reading what you thought about what I shared. Stress has been said to be a silent killer and I believe this is true. Nothing good comes from stress, but there is a lot of things to enjoy in this short life!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope your weekend begins great and only brings you more joy. The weekends are so short, so they are best spent doing what makes us happy. Even with that said, whatever you do this weekend, please do so in the safest way possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Dealing with being let down

Unfortunately, we have all experienced being let down at least once in our lifetime. Maybe you made plans with a friend for a fun outing together, which you were looking forward to. Then as you were getting yourself ready, your friend calls to back out of your plans because of an unexpected issue. Of course, you were understanding because it was out of their control, but that does not mean you were not disappointed.

As with the scenario when a friend backs out of plans last minute, sometimes things happen, and people get sick. What happens when you worked endlessly on a project at work and you were proud of your accomplishment, but then a co-worker steps in and takes credit for your hard work. In a situation like this, you might feel anger, frustration, and or betrayed.

On an entirely different level, when we learn that someone close to us, such as a significant other, parent, child, or other family member betrays our trust, it hurts on a much deeper level. Even simply learning something new about someone we trusted and care about can be difficult for us to believe, especially when it is something surprising and not in a good way. Situations with people we are closest with can make us feel like our world has been turned upside down and inside out.

Before we have had a chance to make sense of any outside threats, our physiological responses acknowledge the negative situations. The physiological responses are our body’s automatic reactions to stimuli. The release of hormones, the rush of blood through our body and into our limbs, an increased heart rate, and accelerated breathing are all subconscious and out of our control. The only thing we do have control over is our breathing through using long and shallow exhales, which sends our body a message of safety and enables access to higher needed cognitive parts of our brain.

We are all only human and painful emotions are not easy to deal with. As humans, we are hard-wired to want to run as far away from pain as we can. It is in our instincts to try distracting ourselves from the pain in ways that bring pleasure, even if the pleasure is only short-lived. Unfortunately, this can lead us into devastating and disastrous behaviors to numb the pain we are experiencing. There are better and healthier alternatives to try, such as self-compassion practices that allow ways to embrace and understand the pain. This will provide you with a space to be silent and establish lost trust in a temporary safe place until you can understand things clearly.

It is important to carefully listen while your thoughts surface. It can be easy to attach yourself to your thoughts and let them run with their version of the events that took place. This is not going to be a useful thing to do because our minds will naturally find ways to confirm the way we are thinking and strengthen, instead of allowing healing. We must find a way to detach from the story being played out in our minds and be open to further truth and forgiveness.

No one can tell you how you should feel when someone you love lets you down. By practicing the tips shared in this post, you will be able to distance yourself from an emotional reaction and allow the wisdom within yourself to guide you to the best response. Of course, this does not mean you need to forgive or let go of what has occurred, at least not until you are ready to do so. Trust and listen to your heart and mind, as this will typically lead you down the right path.

Although I hope the information in this post was beneficial to you, I also hope you have not been let down too often. I understand how painful it is to be let down by someone you love, but in some way, it will make you a better and stronger person. I would love the chance to read what you thought of this post, and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can.

Thank you for visiting my site today and taking the time to read what I have written. I hope you are having a good week and you are continuing to stay safe. The good news about today is, we are almost to the weekend again. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The importance of motivation

We all have different goals, ambitions, dreams, and talents, which helps to keep the world and life more interesting. The one minor problem we can encounter is, we do not always understand what motivation means and or why it is crucial to be and stay motivated. Through the rest of this post, I am going to explain what exactly motivation means, reasons it is important in our life, and ways to not only get motivated but also to stay motivated.

Motivation is the determination we feel to accomplish goals and or needs. This is something we experienced that is strongly influenced by several internal factors that include

*Understanding how much you want your goal and how much the goals mean to you.

*Consider what your expectations are regarding your goal.

One of many reasons motivation is important to maintain in our life is because it offers us goals to work towards. When we are working towards a goal that means something to us, it provides us with a purpose in life. The goals we may have could help us to be a better version of ourselves and or help to improve another person’s life. As we continue to set and achieve goals, we are building up our self-confidence and making us feel better about ourselves.

By becoming and staying motivated, we will be able to determine which of our habits are negative and discover ways to eliminate them. This also us to create positive habits that enable further success. Motivation also makes dealing with challenges easier. This may help to view any challenges as an opportunity rather than a negative obstacle.

Many people are struggling with getting motivated due to depression and anxiety. The challenges we all encountered with COVID produced increased levels or frustration and higher levels of stress. The following tips, regardless of stress and frustrations may help you to get motivated.

*Determine one specific and achievable goal.

*Break your goal into simple and easy tasks, and schedule regular reminders.

*Consider ways you can include your goal into your life, how you will accomplish your goal, and put a specific timeframe on your goal.

Once you have established your goal and what your timeframe to accomplish your goal, it is important to stay on the right path. To remain on the right path for successfully achieving your goal, you can try the following tips:

*Make your goal a part of your daily routine. You could keep a diary, add reminders to your daily calendar.

*Only use positive dialogue. Instead of when you get frustrated or discouraged saying “I can’t”, try telling yourself you are going to continue trying and not giving up.

*Mindfulness can be a powerful tool to keep you calm and relaxed, even when you are surrounded by chaos.

It is easy for life to become overly chaotic and overwhelming. We have our work life to balance with our home life and the two can often conflict with each other. Honestly, life is not easy and can be incredibly exhausting, but hopefully the following tips will help to keep you motivated:

*Routinely review your goals and the progress you have made. When we can see our progression, it is an amazing motivator and will boost your self-esteem.

*Never give up and continue to set new goals for yourself. Consider what you want to accomplish in the next days, weeks, and months. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, focus on one goal at a time.

*It takes at least three months to establish new habits. Maintaining your drive towards your goals needs a routine to it will become automatic over time and be like second nature.

*Surrounding yourself with positive people can increase your abilities to reach your goals. Positive family and friends help to keep you feeling optimistic and offers increased positive self-talk!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you found the information and tips useful to accomplish a few of your goals. Do you have any goals set for this week? How about goals for the month of December, considering we are almost in December already? I would love to the chance to read what some of your goals are and how you are planning to conquer them! I hope you have a wonderful and safe day! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Pain of Loss

All losses are tragic and painful. When we endure a loss, no matter how deep the pain is, people often try saying that time heals all wounds. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? I believe that everyone is unique and processes loss in their way. No one can tell another how they should heal from a loss or how long it should take them to let go of the pain and move on.

My dear sweet and loving grandfather passed away almost nine years ago. It was not until the afternoon of September 9, 2013, I understood how one single phone call could hold the power to shatter my heart and change my life forever. It still feels like it was yesterday when I received that life-altering call that my grandfather’s battle with cancer ended and he was at peace.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday, all I want to do is call him to wish him a happy birthday and it is heartbreaking that I cannot do that. Holidays will never feel the same without hearing the cheerfulness in his voice. I will always miss being able to call my grandfather randomly just to hear the latest family updates and any exciting news he had about his week.

Each year on the day my grandfather lost his battle with cancer and another angel was born, I relive losing him again. To this day, I cannot get through hearing the song he would sing while on a car ride without breaking down into tears. Seven Spanish Angels, by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson, will forever be special to me.

Almost ten months ago on February 7, 2021, my husband and I experienced an agonizing loss. Chloe was our special, sweet, loving, and beautiful cat that we had for nearly sixteen years. She was more than just a cat to us, but a LARGE part of our family. Chloe had an extraordinary soul and was full of love and personality. Throughout her life with us, she showed us unconditional love, happiness, and laughter. We have almost sixteen years of memories to hold on to and remember her fondly.

Chloe had healing powers and knew what and where I was hurting. She would lay on the area causing me pain until the pain would dissipate. Not one day goes by when I do not think about and miss Chloe. I still remember the only day she listened and followed my directions; it was when I told her she did not have to fight anymore, and she could let go. It was not but ten minutes later when she took her final breath.

I am sure everyone has heard that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Maybe that is a true statement, but what do you think? This saying sounds so clique with truth mixed in. The two losses I just explained broke my heart into a million pieces and my heart still is not whole again.

A huge part of me believes that my grandfather knew his battle with cancer was coming to an end, which is why he did not want me to go visit him. Even in his final days, he had my best interest in mind. I think he did not want me to see him struggling and have that be the way I remembered him. Regardless of anything else, I regret not being able to see him one last time. I was not able to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him and say my final goodbyes.

Even though I will always miss Chloe, I am thankful we were able to let her pass in her time and comfortably at home and on my lap. She spent her entire life surrounded by nothing but love. If there were anything I could have done to prolong her life without pain or struggles, I would have gladly done so.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading of what I am reminiscing about. Memories can be great, but also have sadness within them. I do cherish the memories I have of my late grandfather and Chloe but would give anything for one more day with both. I hope you have had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Better days ahead

We have all been trying to survive life and our new norms. Countless emotions have surfaced during the last eighteen months that we have never felt before. It became easy to feel hostile because of isolation and confinement to our homes. Even to this day, we do not know if the normal life we were used to before the pandemic will ever return. It is almost impossible to remember what life was like before the pandemic or at least I can hardly remember what it used to be.

Granted, even though the pandemic made it unsafe to go out to dinner or the mall or anywhere not inside the four walls of our homes, was it ever safe? I mean think about all the violence the exists in the world. It was starting to feel like anywhere we went we went might encounter a mass shooting. Do I think guns should be outlawed? No, not outlawed but regulated much more, yes. I think a lot of the gun violence was due to mental illness and the truth is, mental health in the United States is terrible.

I know there is going to be a day when COVID is a painful and distant memory, but no idea when that will be. Even after COVID is in the past, the violence might still linger, and we should always be aware of our surroundings. Life should be a balance of good and evil because it helps us to be a lot more grateful for our life.

On a more positive note, we need to remember life is a gift and something we should cherish! Once the pandemic is over and it becomes safer to leave our homes, have you thought about what it will feel like? What are some of the things you missed during these challenging times? What are some of the simple pleasures in life you are excited to have return?

I do not mind being home most of the time, but it does get incredibly isolating especially because I work from home. I either feel like I am always at work or just never go anywhere to add happiness and excitement to life. It is crazy to think of going to a doctor’s appointment as a fun outing! I love my husband, our cats, and our house, but I do enjoy seeing the world! I think travelling is exciting because it provides insight to other cultures. Even though there are many terrible people in the world, there are many fascinating people as well.

I know I have mentioned this before, but while I am on the subject life getting back to normal, I cannot wait to visit the ocean again. The beach has always been one of the happiest places for me to be. I find the ocean to be relaxing and calming. The way the water crashes down on the beach is soothing. Considering I am someone that is a walking and talking stress case, the ocean is the only place I never feel any stress

I have had groceries delivered since the start of the pandemic, which has been amazing. I never did enjoy grocery shopping because it feels so unbearable at times. Although most of the time I do not miss grocery shopping, there have been times I did miss it because I felt helpless. I think one of the main reasons I never enjoyed grocery shopping is because crowds are overwhelming.

Another thing is I am beyond tired of wearing masks anytime I do get to leave the house. I know they are necessary to stop the spread of the virus, but they are extremely uncomfortable and suffocating.

I look forward to the day when the pandemic is behind us because life is too short to live in fear. I do wish this was all in the past now, but until it is I will continue to do what is necessary to keep myself and family safe. I hope the way things have been for the past eighteen months has taught people to be understanding and kind to others because even though we might not know it, everyone is going through something in life. People tend to behave in negative ways when they are struggling, but if they are shown a little compassion, they may lighten up and be kinder. It often takes a simple smile to make someone’s bad day brighter.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you had a lovely and safe holiday! I do look forward to reading your comments, which I promise to respond to as quickly as I can. One important thing learned over the past few months is, we are all going through the same challenges and need to work together to make it to better days! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thankful today and always

There are 365 days in every year, but only one day that is dedicated for everyone to show how and what they thankful they are. Why does there have to be a day to be thankful? Why can we not try to express how thankful we are the other 364 days during the year? We all have many things we should be thankful for but have come to expect things to stay the way they are and that our loved ones are always going to be there. The sad truth is things never stay the same and people do not live forever.

Some people that have not had to experience loss and have not had to go without people they cherish, or other things needed for survival for too long that it is to imagine being without. The only constants in life are that things are always changing, tragedy is relentless, and hits hard, and tomorrow is not a guarantee. No one knows when their time on this earth will end, which is why I have always believed we should live each day as if it were our last.

Unfortunately, there are too many families that lost someone they cared about and will never get a chance to tell them how much they meant to them. These families missed their opportunity to say their goodbyes to someone they cared deeply for due to a deadly virus or senseless and unnecessary violence, or reckless driving that ended in a tragic accident. I have already mentioned my views on the virus numerous times, so I think everyone knows how I feel and even if you disagree, there are ways to help end COVID. The violence that occurs is nothing new but is something that needs to stop because everyone is a human being with a beating heart.

During the last eighteen months, people around the world have experienced tremendous amounts of hardships and loss that no one could have anticipated. I think that all of this should serve us with a lesson to never take anything or anyone for granted. I know that life gets chaotic and exhausting, but we can all try a little harder and care a little deeper, so no one ever must question how we feel about them. Instead of showing our thanks only once a year, we should practice giving thanks daily.

Take some time to think about these questions for a few minutes, what are you the most thankful for in your life? Is there a person in your life that you cannot fathom being without? Is there anyone in your life that you have not spoken to in a while, but do care for? Besides a person, what else are you thankful for? Most important, remember that life is short and there is not a rewind or pause button.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read this post. I hope this post will help you to find ways to be and show how thankful you are daily. I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! I hope you and your family have a lovely and safe holiday!

Always, Alyssa

Motivational Monday

The weekend went so fast and we are once again on Monday. Is it not amazing how fast the two-day weekend flies by? I do hope you had a nice and safe weekend. Unfortunately, ready or not the new week is happening. I guess the positive way to view things is that we are being given a chance to make the best of the week and anything we were not able to accomplish last week we can try again! It is never easy to accept the weekend being over, but this does happen every week and we handle it the best we can.

As we start a week with a holiday towards the end of the week, we all need to try to stay optimistic and motivated. Letting go of the weekend and getting back to our normal schedule, finding motivation is never easy. I do hope the quote I am sharing will help keep you focused on the good and motivated to accomplish anything we set our minds to. We can all admit that life is not easy and many things are thrown our way at random times. We all find ways to get through anything we encounter because we are strong and determined! Strength is much deeper than how much you can lift and more about what we can withstand during our life!

This is the week of Thanksgiving, which hopefully we can all celebrate in a safe and happy way. It seems things are a lot safer this year than they were last year with COVID spreading wildly. Many people have been vaccinated and or had COVID already, so hopefully the spread will not continue. Y’all know how concerned I have been about the virus and that I have had three vaccines, so I am fully vaccinated. Of course, I thought after the first two vaccines I was fully vaccinated but the antibodies test said different.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope you found deeper meaning to the quote that I shared with you today and I look forward to reading your comments, which I promise to respond to as quickly as I can. Most people are probably happy for a shorter work week, but I have always said the shorter weeks feel twice as long. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Ways to handle challenging family at the holidays

The holiday season is approaching us at what feels like supersonic speed. The holidays can induce many kinds of feelings for everyone. When I was younger, I loved the holidays because they were filled with joy and visiting with family. As I have gotten older the holidays are not as exciting as they once were. It may have something to do with the way holidays were the past two years or the dread of challenging family and friends. It is only natural to not always agree with our family because everyone has their opinions and that does not always line up with our family.

In this post, I am going to share with you a few ways that may help with the anxiety of family, friends, COVID, travel, and anything else that could be weighing on our minds. Family is important and we do not get to choose our family is but should try to eliminate any potential arguments that might come to the surface. We only have one family, so making the most of it is the best option.

1. Take control of your expectations: Many times, keeping expectations low helps avoid disappointment or resentment. Consider what your expectations are for those you feel the least comfortable with. Start by trying to observe others and not reacting at the moment. If we try changing others instead of accepting them it can create higher levels of defensiveness and reluctance. If at any moment your emotions become overloaded, excuse yourself and walk away for a few minutes for a short break to release those negative emotions. I have always found it to be easier to walk away when tensions become too high, and a conversation goes in a circle without an end in sight.

2. Plan ahead of time: Remember past family holidays and any patterns that occurred. Expect that unhealthy patterns are going to occur again and have a plan in place to avoid or prevent them from controlling and ruining your holiday.

3. Modify your mindset: We can decide to worry about things that could happen, which will cause unnecessary or think ahead of time how to reduce this type of stress. Instead of getting caught up in the negative traits of family, recall and focus on the positive traits, our family members have in them.

4. Defend your truth and integrity: A family holiday get-together can cause people to feel like they are walking on eggshells. There are several ways to navigate the circumstance when we know what our reactions will be and how others will react. A few standards to engage in during stressful exchanges are to state your experience, defend your truths, and calm yourself. It may be helpful to make note of your emotions, reiterate the faces, and appreciate your peace.

5. Discover common ground: The holidays provide joys of family get-togethers and create fond memories to admire. However, holidays can also include disputes with family. Regardless of those difficult family members, it is more important to focus on what matters the most instead of insignificant matters. It can be hard to find common ground, so try being slow to speak and quick to listen. You can gain more from listening than jumping in to say what you are thinking.

6. Avoid situations and people when possible: We all have at least one family member that wants to invade into our business, questions our every decision, and reminds us of the negative things in our life. Often, this is because misery loves company. The three most important things to remember are: you know more than anyone else what is best for you. Hold onto advice offered that is valuable and kindly ignore what is not valuable. Warmly divert the conversation by asking questions about how they are doing. Alter the atmosphere with positive language and awareness of being together.

7. Keep yourself grounded: Although the holidays can be a delightful time spent with family, they can also generate anxiety especially when there is an exasperating family member. When dealing with this type of person, it is crucial to provide yourself with gentle self-care to help keep you grounded. Avoiding hot topics such as politics and religion that can cause disagreements will be important. When topics known to cause a difference of opinion being, changing the subject to a common interest will help deter the disagreement from getting out of hand.

8. Form and maintain boundaries: Understand what topics or behaviors are unacceptable or reasonably out of bounds and state them upfront, so there is no confusion or question. Some people will know ways to bait you into a conversation causing conflict, NEVER take the bait! Immediately put a hard stop to the conversation. Determine how much time you are going to spend with family and politely say your goodbyes when it is time.

9. Always be on the same page as your significant other: Be open and honest about concerns and expectations of holiday gatherings. Discuss openly ways to handle potential conflicts. Preparing ahead of time and remaining a united front will help control the stress. Determine a signal word to let your partner know you are ready to leave or when stress has increased too much and have an exit plan.

10. Know your mind and body: Keep alcohol intake to a low amount because it can create issues with logical decision-making and escalate emotions. When overdone, alcohol can increase stress and fatigue causing more opportunity for an argument to irrupt. Alcohol in moderation normally does not cause too many issues, but it is important to know your limitation. Trust your instincts and pace yourself with conversation as well.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope this information will be useful to you during the upcoming holidays. Not all families are incredibly close and there is friction in some. It is not always easy and not all the tips in this post will be helpful to everyone, so if there are other ideas you have that helped you and you are willing to share, please do. I hope you had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa