Category Archives: Family

Missing you still

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Of all the posts I have written and will write in the future, posts like this one are always the most difficult. September 9, 2013, was the day when my entire world was turned upside down and inside out because I lost someone that I considered to be my hero. My Grandfather, that I called Poppy was my rock and he kept me grounded through many life struggles. Losing him was one of the worst times in my life and I did not have my rock to help me through it. I thought my Poppy hung and moon and stars, and he could do no wrong in my eyes.

When I lost him nine years ago, he took a HUGE piece of my heart with him, but the lessons I learned from him will always live on in me. As much as I continue to try, there is no way I can ever be as great as he was, but I will never stop trying because I want to make him proud.

My Poppy was honest, caring, devoted, understanding, loving, compassionate, fair, and many other amazing qualities. I do not think there is anyone now or will ever be anyone else like him because he truly was one of a kind. I think that it is possible that God broke the mold when he made him. During my entire life, he never once disappointed me and I always knew that I could rely on him.

I have so many fond memories of him that I will never forget and will treasure until the end of time. He was a pro golfer that dedicated his life to the sport. I can remember times he tried showing me how to play and even though I was not doing well, he never gave up on me. I did not enjoy trying to play golf, but I did enjoy driving the golf cart around his golf course. As a young child, I loved being with my Poppy and rarely paid attention to the other golfers. There were numerous times I was in the way and had close calls with getting hit by the golf balls flying through the air, but he never raised his voice to me when he told me to watch where I was walking.

I remember driving in the car with him while he was singing. There is one songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ that I will never forget because he loved to sing it. Every time I hear Seven Spanish Angels by Ray Charles and Willie Nelsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8A9Y1Dq_cQ, I can hear him singing. Of course, now I am unable to get through the song without crying because I miss him SO much. 

I think one of the hardest things for me is, that I never got to say “goodbye”. I wanted to go visit him because I knew he was sick, but he did not want me to fly all that way to see him. I think he was trying to protect me because he did not want me to see him sick and suffering. It is so hard because the last image I have of him is when we went to his funeral. It is hard to get that image out of my mind because while it did look like him, that was not the man I remember. I am not sure he knew just how much I loved and admired him and that breaks my heart.

Out of everyone in my family, both my mother’s side and father’s side, my Poppy was my heart and soul. I idolized him and thought he would live forever. I will never forget when my uncle called me to tell me about Poppy passing away. The call caught me off guard for several reasons, one being that my uncle never calls me, but the other is because I could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. I could not understand how a man like my Poppy could be gone and I just wanted to see him again. I know someday, I will be reunited with my Poppy, and I just hope he will tell me that he is proud of the woman I had become. 

In all honesty, I am thankful everyday that I had a grandfather as special as mine was. Everyone who knew him was lucky because he loved unconditionally and would do anything for those he cared about. Sadly, all his friends and family lost a magical and amazing human being nine years ago and will forever miss him. He touched so many lives and made a HUGE difference for so many.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have had a good week and you are ready for the weekend to begin. I know this was a sad post, which I am sorry to end the week this way. Unfortunately, I will have a heavy heart today because I do miss my Poppy. I hope he is looking down from Heaven and he is enjoying the best golf courses ever created and he is proud of who I am today. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

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Dear Cancer

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Dear Cancer, 

You have taken so many people that I cared deeply for. You seem to attack many kind and loving people without reasons that make any sense. I am not sure where you came from, who created you, or why there have not been ways discovered to eradicate you from existence because you are pure evil and need to be eliminated from this world for the good of mankind. You do not deserve to still be around and causing as much damage, pain, and heartache as you have been able to so far.

I am aware of things that are known to cause cancer. Some labels on cigarettes warn about the health risks. It is known that smoking can cause lung cancer, but why have many people who have never smoked died from lung cancer? The Surgeon General makes things causing cancer clear, but is it to protect innocent people or to cover himself and prevent major lawsuits? I think the Surgeon General cares more about protecting himself and his bank account than he does about human lives.

Women go through all the appropriate doctor’s appointments and suggested tests, such as mammograms and pap smears. Even doing everything they are supposed to do to avoid various forms of cancers and through no fault of their own, you still invade their bodies causing them irrefutable damage. The most common form of cancer for women is breast cancer. As of now, breast cancer contributes to 290,560 new cases each year. One in eight women, which is approximately 13% will develop invasive breast cancer during their lifetime.

Ovarian cancer is the fifth most common form of cancer death affecting women in the United States. Approximately 19,880 will receive this diagnosis and 12,810 will not survive the diagnosis. The risk of a woman getting ovarian cancer during their lifetime is 1 in 78 and the chance of dying is about 1 in 108. 

Lung cancer is the leading cause of death worldwide. In 2022, approximately 236,740 people will receive this diagnosis in the United States, which is about 1 in 16 people. Unfortunately, 130,180 Americans lose their lives annually. In the United States, approximately 20,000-40,000 or 10-20% of lung cancers happen to those who either never smoked a day in their life or smoked less than 100 cigarettes in their lifetime.

Prostate cancer is the second most common malignancy in men worldwide. Approximately, one in eight men will receive this diagnosis in their lifetime. About six in ten cases are diagnosed in men 65 or older but is considered rare in men under 40. Although prostate cancer is considered serious, statistics suggest there are more than 3.1 million men who were diagnosed and are still alive today. Even though many do survive this cancer, 1 in 41 men will die from this type of cancer. 

Cancer, you took my grandfather away from me, the rest of his family and friends, and the world. Why did you do this? His purpose here on earth was still needed. You took a piece of my heart from me, and I will never forgive you for this. My grandfather was an amazing man that gave so much to the world with his kindness, love, and gentle smile. I do not believe you have a heart or soul, but someone needs to find a way to eliminate you as it would make the world a much better place. No one deserves your fate or the massive destruction you cause!

I wrote this post today because Friday will be the ninth anniversary of my grandfather passing away. Cancer causes so much pain in our world, and it is no one’s fault. No one asks to get cancer and they should never have to face this evilness. I do not understand why considering the United States is the wealthiest country in the world with brilliant scientist’s cures have not been discovered. The rage of cancer should not inflict anyone’s life and we should be free from it!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I cannot imagine anyone will enjoy this post because cancer has probably invaded your life in one way or another. I do not hate much in this world, but I do hate cancer with a passion! I would like the chance to read your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. I hope you are having a good day and doing something that brings you comfort, and peace. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Friday Eve thoughts

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Happy Friday Eve. Even though it was a short week, it still felt long and grueling week. Honestly, it was not all bad because I am being trained on a different process at work and the trainer is great. I have not met many people that had a similar personality to mine, and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It is unusual because while I will yell at my computer and use some incredibly colorful language towards the computer, and I will even say that it has a bad attitude problem, most people think that is ludicrous, the trainer does the same😊! We both enjoy adding humor to our day because it makes the day slightly happier and more interesting.

Life can be challenging, and we face many hardships throughout our lives. Everyone deals with painful times differently, but we all need someone to talk to and lean on when we struggle with various situations. A friend of mine that I have worked with at two different companies previously remain close over the years. We have talked about everything and anything during the years we have known each other. Last Sunday, she found that her grandmother was being moved into a hospice center, which was obviously extremely painful☹.

After learning that her grandmother would be leaving this world soon, she immediately made plans to go visit her. Unfortunately, her grandmother did pass away a few days after being moved to hospice. I told my friend that she could call me anytime she needed someone to talk to and that I would do anything I possibly could for her. The funeral is Friday and I know that will be one of the hardest days she will go through because I remember when my grandfather passed away. My friend has said the same thing I did when I lost my grandfather, she feels numb and like she lost a HUGE part of her heart and soul. I think the reason learning about my friend losing her grandmother affected me so profoundly is because I remember that pain like it was yesterday and it has been almost 10 years since losing my grandfather.

Losing someone we love is never easy. It is important to be supportive and understanding when we know someone is experiencing such a heartbreaking situation. Of course, we cannot make the pain disappear, but we can listen and be empathic. Sadly, we have all lost someone we loved, so we know how tragic and agonizing the pain can feel. I am sure we have all heard that saying, “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. Even though that sounds so clique, it is true.

How has your week been? The news always seems to be hard to watch because there is so much sadness. So many people have been glued to the TV to watch the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard case. That entire situation has been beyond ridiculous. Of course, I do not know either one of them, but the accusations that were made about Depp were serious. Many people suffer in abusive relationships, so when we watch this on the news with clear lies it is infuriating. Lies and deceit does nothing but destroys lives, but this is something people do commonly. Those who lie as easy as it is for most to breathe make my blood boil, especially reading something so horrendous.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I am sure y’all are looking forward to the weekend and hopefully, you will be able to enjoy it safely. I would love to read your comments and I will respond as quickly as I can. Although, you do not know my friend who lost her grandmother, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, she needs this currently. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes.

Always, Alyssa

Toxicity in families

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Family can be a sensitive topic to talk about because there tend to be various types of feelings. Families either are happy and get along well or there are vast levels of drama and ill will. The truth is we do not get to choose our family because it is something we are born into, but the same blood that runs through our veins does not mean we must endure the toxicity that can come along with it. Toxic relationships cause stress and unpleasant feelings, so when life is short, we do have the right to decide when to free ourselves from venomous people.

The reason I am writing about this today is that I decided a long time ago to not associate with my mother’s side of the family. Even as a young child I could see their actions to be deceitful and malicious. I wanted no part of their destructive behavior and know I am a better person because I cut ties with them years ago. I feel that if they had been part of my life all these years, I might not be the happy, kind, loyal, loving, compassionate, caring, and honest person I am today because they are the polar opposite of who I am and who I want to be.

Recently, my mother’s younger sister went to her house for a visit. Despite me saying it was an awful idea because they have always had a toxic relationship and I did not think it would go well. Unfortunately, this is a time I wish I was wrong because the visit went terribly and caused many hurtful feelings. I do not have siblings, but from what I understand siblings should have a bond that was built in their childhood which they clearly never had.

Something people often forget is, hurtful words cannot be erased or forgotten. I have always said although physical bruises can heal, verbal wounds do not heal and can hurt for years. It is important to value yourself enough to never allow another person to attack you verbally or physically because you are worth more than that. Most of the time those that say vicious things are unhappy with their life. We have all heard that saying, “misery loves company” and we need to not welcome their company into our lives.

I do understand that family is important, but no one needs to deal with listening to ugly words from family. Maybe it would be better to say we need to understand how to maintain boundaries with others. We know what we are willing to endure and what we will refuse to deal with. When we do set boundaries, we must never change them to make someone else happy because these boundaries were set for our happiness and mental health.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read what I have shared. I hope what I have written helps you if you are dealing with toxic a family member or other relationships. We all need to learn to value our self-worth and love ourselves before anyone else can truly love us. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending you LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Heavenly Birthday Wish

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Today is my late grandfather’s birthday and he would have been 86 years old today. Even though he has been gone for nine incredibly long years, I still think his birthday should be celebrated. He was a great, honest, loving, courageous, powerful, and all-around amazing person. My late grandfather continues to inspire me because I 100% idolized him and thought he could do no wrong. I have prided myself to be as much like him as I possibly can but know without a doubt there is no chance anyone could be like him.

I will never forget his smile and voice because they could make anything going wrong in life much better. He was full of grace and honor. He was a man that never judged another person for any reason and respected people for who they were. He never wanted to change people but did want to help others the best he could. Anyone lucky enough to have known him can understand the impact he had on my life and the ways it destroyed me when lost his battle with cancer. I can say without hesitation that those that knew James “Bucky” O’Brien could always feel his love, even when he was not in the room.

On September 9, 2013, everyone that knew my grandfather lost a piece of their heart when he took his last breath. In my heart I know there will come a day when I see my grandfather again and when I do, I will get back the pieces of my heart and soul that left with him on that September day. The past nine years living in this world without my grandfather have not been easy. As I said, he had a way about him to make everything much better. I can still hear his voice when I close my eyes and I know he is watching over me. I just hope he is proud of the person I am today because I am do keep him with me no matter where I go.

I cannot help but wonder when my grandfather is looking down and seeing the way the world is today, what he must be thinking. My grandfather loved his country and even fought for this country. He did not fight to see things become what they are today. This is one of many reasons why I try being as much like him as possible. I think he would be proud of the way I treat others and how I do not judge anyone for anything more but how they treat others.

Today, just the same as every other day, I will hold my grandfather close to my heart. He lived his life as a golf pro and loved the game! I hope he is celebrating his day on the best golf course in heaven and winning every game he plays with the angels. Happy Birthday to my dear sweet Poppy!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you are having a great week and you are continuing to stay safe. I appreciate your birthday wishes for my grandfather in advance. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

December 21st already

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It is already December 21st, the Winter Solstice and Christmas is only a few days away. There are several reasons it does not feel like Christmas to me. One reason might sound silly, but I grew up in the north where it was always a white Christmas. Even though I have been in the south for over twenty years, and it rarely snows, I still miss snow blanketing the ground on Christmas day. In a way it is good it does not snow in the southern state I am in because the smallest amount paralyzes the city and has people bombarding the stores for canned goods and leaving the shelves empty.

Another reason it does not feel like Christmas is that I am unemployed. This is not because of anything I did wrong, but due to my company thinking it was a great idea to lay off nearly 300 people two weeks before the holiday. As I already said in a previous post, there is never a good time to be laid off. I cannot help but think about those that had children and lost their job. Parents want to provide their children with a Merry Christmas and not have to consider returning gifts to be able to have a roof over their heads. They might also be deeply concerned about being able to have food on the table for their family.

In previous years, prior to the pandemic, we spent Christmas eve with my family and Christmas day with my husband’s family. Of course, last year we spent the holiday at home with each other and our cats which may have been a little sad. In the past two years, my mother has relocated and lives approximately 1,100 miles away so we will not be going to her home for Christmas eve. If it were not for safety reasons due to COVID, maybe I would have been able to fly to where she lives, but I am not risking my life to get on an airplane. Please understand this though, I think my mother is happy where she is now and the life, she is building is a good one for her, so I am over the mood happy for her.

Considering I am what some would call an overly emotional person, my heart breaks for the many people dealing with the loss of a loved one, a job, their home, or anything else meaningful to them. There has been far too much tragedy around the world. There is too much needless violence that continues to cause massive amounts of devastation. I do not and never will understand violence or selfishness because it does nothing good for anyone. I guess the way I view things is, it is almost 2022 and we should be evolving, but instead, it seems like many are devolving.

I do understand this post was not very positive, but I am just being open and real with you because I feel that is the only way to be. I have been told that I can be too honest and transparent, but I disagree. However, I would like to know what you think. Do you think anyone can ever be too honest? I had a phone interview yesterday, which I think went well. When the interviewer asked me questions, I told him that I am completely transparent and will always be honest anytime I am asked a question. I have told people before if they do not want to know what I think about something or how I feel, do not ask if you do not want an honest answer.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I do encourage you to leave a comment and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I possibly can. I hope you are doing well and staying safe as you prepare for the upcoming holiday. How are you planning to spend the holiday and are you ready for it to come? Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to handle holiday financial stress~

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Slowly we are getting much closer to being able to celebrate and enjoy the holidays, as we did before the pandemic. Thankfully, vaccines and boosters are readily available for everyone over age 5 years old and they are free of charge. Currently, 42.7% of people worldwide have been fully vaccinated. In the United States, where I live 59.6 of the population have been fully vaccinated. I know many that have reservations of the vaccine, but how many people have died from the vaccine compared to those that died due to the virus? Maybe there have been some that died after getting the vaccine, but would they have died regardless of the vaccine?

Last year most of us were not able to celebrate holidays or even visit family because of the COVID fears. Hopefully, you were able to spend the recent holiday, Thanksgiving with your family and be thankful for the day! While we were able to enjoy the day, we have many more days ahead of us, especially if we can keep the virus under control. Of course, no one has answers to if we will face lockdowns again and fear for our lives, but we can at least try remaining hopeful.

There have been various challenges we have faced during the eighteen months of the pandemic. Unfortunately, some lost their jobs, which created financial stresses. Holidays can always come with more financial stress, but with the right amount of thought, logic, and planning, it does not have to. To help you reduce your holiday finance stress, I am going to share a few tips that might help.

Take time to give some thought to gifts. Our family and friends have different desires and wants to consider. Instead of going to the stores or shopping online mindlessly, think about each person individually. Does the person have any hobbies? Does the person enjoy personalized gifts from the heart? Does the person enjoy gifts that have other meanings? Children are typically easy to please and just enjoy a physical item they can open. Children also tend to want the newest toy available but might also enjoy arts and crafts. Therefore, a coloring book, crayons, colorful paper, and markers may keep they entertained and happy for hours!

You may also be able to divide people into different categories. This can help prioritize who you are buying for and the costs of what is purchased. With this shopping will become more about giving something meaningful, instead of just buying random items.

Create a list that you can follow. This is like going grocery shopping, which some of you might not make a list before you go grocery shopping. Do you find having something in your hand to shop with is helpful? So, you do not forget things you need or buy things that are not necessary? Creating a holiday shopping list will prevent you from impulse buying. It can be easy to start shopping for family and find something you want, that is on sale.

Creating a list that does not include yourself and stay concentrated solely on your list can help maintain your financial focus. Once you decide who you want to buy for and have an idea what the person would like, you can check things off along the way, which can provide you satisfaction for staying on task and completing an important task.

Understand your reason for holiday shopping. Once you get started with your holiday shopping, you might start feeling overwhelmed. Thoughts such as what and who you should do for, and feelings of stress being to build up inside. When you feel this start, take a step back from the situation and remember why you are holiday shopping. Also try to connect with the moment and pace yourself. Mindful breathing and meditation might help you to stay calm.

After you connect and check in with your body, ask you’re a few simple questions. Why is this important to you? Who and why are you trying to impress someone? Do you think anyone will be disappointed with your gift or are they expecting something different? Understanding the source of your stress may help you to keep it from getting too out of control.

Obviously, no one wants to disappoint someone else, but most of the time your family is not going to be disappointed. Our family just wants the chance to spend time together and creating new memories. Truthfully, it would only be a shallow type of person that would be disappointed with what we give them. Although we do all know someone that would be that shallow and they might be one of our family members, try to not allow yourself to fall into that mindset. Just remember, holidays are not about what you get or how much you spend, it is about being surrounded by loved ones!

I hope what I have shared will help reduce your stress around the holidays. It is supposed to be a time of joy, not unnecessary additional stress. Life is already difficult enough and we deal with other stresses that we cannot avoid. I do look forward to reading what you thought about what I shared. Stress has been said to be a silent killer and I believe this is true. Nothing good comes from stress, but there is a lot of things to enjoy in this short life!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope your weekend begins great and only brings you more joy. The weekends are so short, so they are best spent doing what makes us happy. Even with that said, whatever you do this weekend, please do so in the safest way possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The Pain of Loss

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All losses are tragic and painful. When we endure a loss, no matter how deep the pain is, people often try saying that time heals all wounds. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? I believe that everyone is unique and processes loss in their way. No one can tell another how they should heal from a loss or how long it should take them to let go of the pain and move on.

My dear sweet and loving grandfather passed away almost nine years ago. It was not until the afternoon of September 9, 2013, I understood how one single phone call could hold the power to shatter my heart and change my life forever. It still feels like it was yesterday when I received that life-altering call that my grandfather’s battle with cancer ended and he was at peace.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday, all I want to do is call him to wish him a happy birthday and it is heartbreaking that I cannot do that. Holidays will never feel the same without hearing the cheerfulness in his voice. I will always miss being able to call my grandfather randomly just to hear the latest family updates and any exciting news he had about his week.

Each year on the day my grandfather lost his battle with cancer and another angel was born, I relive losing him again. To this day, I cannot get through hearing the song he would sing while on a car ride without breaking down into tears. Seven Spanish Angels, by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson, will forever be special to me.

Almost ten months ago on February 7, 2021, my husband and I experienced an agonizing loss. Chloe was our special, sweet, loving, and beautiful cat that we had for nearly sixteen years. She was more than just a cat to us, but a LARGE part of our family. Chloe had an extraordinary soul and was full of love and personality. Throughout her life with us, she showed us unconditional love, happiness, and laughter. We have almost sixteen years of memories to hold on to and remember her fondly.

Chloe had healing powers and knew what and where I was hurting. She would lay on the area causing me pain until the pain would dissipate. Not one day goes by when I do not think about and miss Chloe. I still remember the only day she listened and followed my directions; it was when I told her she did not have to fight anymore, and she could let go. It was not but ten minutes later when she took her final breath.

I am sure everyone has heard that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Maybe that is a true statement, but what do you think? This saying sounds so clique with truth mixed in. The two losses I just explained broke my heart into a million pieces and my heart still is not whole again.

A huge part of me believes that my grandfather knew his battle with cancer was coming to an end, which is why he did not want me to go visit him. Even in his final days, he had my best interest in mind. I think he did not want me to see him struggling and have that be the way I remembered him. Regardless of anything else, I regret not being able to see him one last time. I was not able to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him and say my final goodbyes.

Even though I will always miss Chloe, I am thankful we were able to let her pass in her time and comfortably at home and on my lap. She spent her entire life surrounded by nothing but love. If there were anything I could have done to prolong her life without pain or struggles, I would have gladly done so.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading of what I am reminiscing about. Memories can be great, but also have sadness within them. I do cherish the memories I have of my late grandfather and Chloe but would give anything for one more day with both. I hope you have had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Thankful today and always

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There are 365 days in every year, but only one day that is dedicated for everyone to show how and what they thankful they are. Why does there have to be a day to be thankful? Why can we not try to express how thankful we are the other 364 days during the year? We all have many things we should be thankful for but have come to expect things to stay the way they are and that our loved ones are always going to be there. The sad truth is things never stay the same and people do not live forever.

Some people that have not had to experience loss and have not had to go without people they cherish, or other things needed for survival for too long that it is to imagine being without. The only constants in life are that things are always changing, tragedy is relentless, and hits hard, and tomorrow is not a guarantee. No one knows when their time on this earth will end, which is why I have always believed we should live each day as if it were our last.

Unfortunately, there are too many families that lost someone they cared about and will never get a chance to tell them how much they meant to them. These families missed their opportunity to say their goodbyes to someone they cared deeply for due to a deadly virus or senseless and unnecessary violence, or reckless driving that ended in a tragic accident. I have already mentioned my views on the virus numerous times, so I think everyone knows how I feel and even if you disagree, there are ways to help end COVID. The violence that occurs is nothing new but is something that needs to stop because everyone is a human being with a beating heart.

During the last eighteen months, people around the world have experienced tremendous amounts of hardships and loss that no one could have anticipated. I think that all of this should serve us with a lesson to never take anything or anyone for granted. I know that life gets chaotic and exhausting, but we can all try a little harder and care a little deeper, so no one ever must question how we feel about them. Instead of showing our thanks only once a year, we should practice giving thanks daily.

Take some time to think about these questions for a few minutes, what are you the most thankful for in your life? Is there a person in your life that you cannot fathom being without? Is there anyone in your life that you have not spoken to in a while, but do care for? Besides a person, what else are you thankful for? Most important, remember that life is short and there is not a rewind or pause button.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read this post. I hope this post will help you to find ways to be and show how thankful you are daily. I am looking forward to reading your comments and will respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes! I hope you and your family have a lovely and safe holiday!

Always, Alyssa

The day that changed my life forever

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I can vividly remember this day eight years ago when the world lost an amazing soul. I remember exactly where I was, who I spoke to and what was said, and what occurred for days, weeks, months, and years later. My husband and I were gearing up for an anniversary trip to Florida and I had just left the tanning salon when I heard a voicemail from my uncle requesting that I call him. Considering I do not typically hear from him because over the years we grew apart, I was instantly concerned and immediately called him back.

The words that left my uncle’s mouth changed my life forever. My uncle was calling to inform me that my grandfather who I idolized had lost his battle with cancer. This news jarred my mind, heart, and soul because I had a deep connection and love for my grandfather. I guess I could say that in my mind, my grandfather could beat anything and would live forever, but that childish thought was proven to be very incorrect.

I always had an incredible amount of admiration for my late grandfather because he had a heart of goal and was extremely thoughtful, loving, fair, considerate, and much more. Much of the way my late grandfather was has been instilled into me, which I am and always will be forever thankful for. I do not think there will ever be a way to be as wonderful as he was, but I will never give up trying.

Unfortunately, I think it is normal for people to disappoint others, but my grandfather never once disappointed me. I could always count on this man because he loved his family so purely and deeply. His core values were inspiring, encouraging, motivating, honest, generous, optimistic, and so much more, which I hope to carry with me until I see him again.

Although my grandfather passed away eight years ago, his spirit will live on within my heart and soul for the rest of my life. I know that he is watching over me and even though I cannot hear his voice, I can feel his presence when I am going through difficult times. He has always been a voice of reason and logic, where is rare in the world today. At the lowest and most difficult times during my life, my grandfather’s voice would ring in my ears, and everything became much easier to handle. He even made being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was only 19 years old easier to tolerate.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday and the day he passed away, I have a difficult time. However, please do not mistake this because I will be forever thankful for the times I had with my grandfather and do feel like his life should be celebrated and I know he would not want me to be sad, but there is still an ache and emptiness in my heart from losing him.

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I think I have mentioned this in a previous post, but my grandfather was a writer for his local newspaper and was an amazing pro-golfer. I do not know the first thing about golf but would love to believe I get my love for writing from my grandfather. The only thing that helps me deal with my emotions, positive or negative is to write about them, which is the reason I am writing about my grandfather on the eight-year anniversary of his death. Writing may not always take the sting of the pain away, but it does help me to let everyone reading this post understand how wonderful and amazing my grandfather was. There will never be a day that I am not thankful to have had James Bucky O’Brien for a grandfather because some of my best qualities were derived from him.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I wish there was a way to express even more how much my grandfather meant to me and how much I hope I am making him proud of who I am today because this is extremely important to me. I do not think I will ever be half the person he was, but I will never give up trying to be the best part of myself I can be. I hope your week is going well and you are staying safe. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa