About Positively Alyssa

I was diagnosed 18 years ago, when I was only 19 years old, with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. I had gone to my eye doctor because I had lost vision in my left eye. Prior to my appointment, I had prepared myself to have the doctor confirm that I would be blind in my left eye and that was all. Never in a million years did I expect to hear the doctor tell me that after consulting with his colleagues, that I need to go for an MRI that day because they were thinking that with my symptoms that I had MS. Just a couple hours later I went to get the life altering MRI. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. My eye doctor called me from his home at 9:30 at night to confirm what they suspected, I in fact had MS. He immediately referred me to a specialist he knew and I was able to get in to see him that same week. Luckily, after a round of steroids, my vision came back in my eye just leaving me with leg pain that would continue to be part of my life. Through the years I have tried numerous different medications that are meant to slow the progression of the disease down. I was never good at the injections and it wasn't because of the needle, it was because the medication burned like fire going in. Still after all these years I still go through my battles of denial, anger, frustration and sadness. However, I have always said that I would NEVER allow MS to control my life but I would control the disease. For the most part, I have been pretty successful with that. I mean we all have our bad days but it doesn't make the situation any better. With this blog I am hoping that with my experiences, endless amounts of research and a powerful fight i me that I can not only help others going through this but that I can learn from others as well. Living with the ups and downs of MS can be challenging but the power of the mind can beat anything that is thrown our way!

December 21st already

It is already December 21st, the Winter Solstice and Christmas is only a few days away. There are several reasons it does not feel like Christmas to me. One reason might sound silly, but I grew up in the north where it was always a white Christmas. Even though I have been in the south for over twenty years, and it rarely snows, I still miss snow blanketing the ground on Christmas day. In a way it is good it does not snow in the southern state I am in because the smallest amount paralyzes the city and has people bombarding the stores for canned goods and leaving the shelves empty.

Another reason it does not feel like Christmas is that I am unemployed. This is not because of anything I did wrong, but due to my company thinking it was a great idea to lay off nearly 300 people two weeks before the holiday. As I already said in a previous post, there is never a good time to be laid off. I cannot help but think about those that had children and lost their job. Parents want to provide their children with a Merry Christmas and not have to consider returning gifts to be able to have a roof over their heads. They might also be deeply concerned about being able to have food on the table for their family.

In previous years, prior to the pandemic, we spent Christmas eve with my family and Christmas day with my husband’s family. Of course, last year we spent the holiday at home with each other and our cats which may have been a little sad. In the past two years, my mother has relocated and lives approximately 1,100 miles away so we will not be going to her home for Christmas eve. If it were not for safety reasons due to COVID, maybe I would have been able to fly to where she lives, but I am not risking my life to get on an airplane. Please understand this though, I think my mother is happy where she is now and the life, she is building is a good one for her, so I am over the mood happy for her.

Considering I am what some would call an overly emotional person, my heart breaks for the many people dealing with the loss of a loved one, a job, their home, or anything else meaningful to them. There has been far too much tragedy around the world. There is too much needless violence that continues to cause massive amounts of devastation. I do not and never will understand violence or selfishness because it does nothing good for anyone. I guess the way I view things is, it is almost 2022 and we should be evolving, but instead, it seems like many are devolving.

I do understand this post was not very positive, but I am just being open and real with you because I feel that is the only way to be. I have been told that I can be too honest and transparent, but I disagree. However, I would like to know what you think. Do you think anyone can ever be too honest? I had a phone interview yesterday, which I think went well. When the interviewer asked me questions, I told him that I am completely transparent and will always be honest anytime I am asked a question. I have told people before if they do not want to know what I think about something or how I feel, do not ask if you do not want an honest answer.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I do encourage you to leave a comment and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I possibly can. I hope you are doing well and staying safe as you prepare for the upcoming holiday. How are you planning to spend the holiday and are you ready for it to come? Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to have a productive conversation

Most of us have either heard about or read John Gray’s book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. Of course, the author was not being literal with the title, but using it as a metaphor. Men and women have several similarities, but also have numerous differences. I do think if we all behaved and thought the same, the world would be an incredibly tedious and dull existence.

The ways men and women communicate with one another, family, friends, co-workers, and anyone else they meet are distinct from each other. The unique way our minds are wired typically makes women want to talk and men want to act. Understanding the ideal and most effective way to communicate with the different sexes, will help create a healthier relationship.

In the rest of this post, I am going to share several ways to communicate with men. Honestly, when we comprehend the fact, our brains are wired differently, we can approach our interactions appropriately.

One of the most important things to do when communicating with a man is, be direct. Make them aware you have something important to talk about. Do not beat around the bush and be sure to have their undivided attention. The truth is, women have an increased level of concentration in the parts of the brain responsible for language and memory.

Another easy, but necessary thing to do is eliminate all distractions. Simply put, women can multitask, and men struggle to multitask. You cannot expect to have a good and meaningful conversation with a man that is watching TV, listening to music, or reading a book. It may be beneficial to move the conversation to a room that does not have any distractions readily available. You want to be sure you will not lose a man’s concentration with anything that will entertain his mind.

Avoid starting the conversation by placing blame on him. For instance, beginning the discussion or at any point saying something that may be perceived as an attack will not usually work well. As opposed to saying, “You never listen to me”, try starting with positive comments such as “I know that you care” or “I know how much stress you have been under”. Simple things like this can open the lines of communication and prevent any hostility.

It is important to be upfront about what is needed from the conversation. Men are typically problem solvers and women often want to vent about their problems or simply talk through potential solutions. Before the conversation goes too far, it is essential to express exactly what is wanted from the conversation.

Research has discovered that men can easily misread body language and recognizing facial expressions is not easy for them. Getting upset and asking yourself, “Why do I have to ask him to take the trash out?”, will not solve anything. Keep things easy and say exactly what you mean and need. This means, come right out, and ask him to do what you want him to do.

Remember to remain focused on the current situation. Research has suggested women have extra blood flowing to the parts of the brain responsible for storing and retrieving past situations. What this means is it is easy for women to bring up the past, which will destroy the chance of any productive outcomes.  It is critical to resist the urge in the heat of the moment to mention past situations.

It is not easy when something is weighing on your mind, but it is extremely important to not talk for too long. Men tend to have lower stamina and patience than women do for prolonged conversations. During these conversations, pay attention to signs he is getting bored, or his patience begins to run low. It is counterproductive to push the conversation past a certain point. To be sure you have a productive conversation with minimal frustration, it may be helpful to take breaks and have a few short discussions.

Conversations with men do not have to be complicated. We can all interact with each other and keep the peace. Considering women are initiative, they can sense when a man is not paying attention or getting too agitated and can walk away for a while. Taking your time with conversations that are important will be productive in regard to the situation at hand, but also make the relationship stronger.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope the information I have shared was helpful. I would love the chance to read your comments and what you think. I hope you have had a nice, relaxing, and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

What is an Empath?

The majestic world we share is beautiful, intriguing, exciting, and astonishing. If we can be open-minded, understanding, compassionate, and sincere, we can be presented with many opportunities for growth and knowledge. Our curiosity and desire empower us to learn. Knowledge is important for everyone to possess and if used correctly can make incredible changes.

Originally, I planned to only do one post about this interesting topic, but now I decided it would be better to do in two parts. There is too much information for one post and separating the posts will make each post shorter and more interesting or at least that is what I hope for.

There are several things I find riveting. Two of them most of you already know, I love to read and write. Something I think is extremely interesting is psychology. This is a topic that needs to be shared and researched more because mental health is so fragile and mysterious as there is so much unknown. Every individual’s personality is uniquely molded for only one person. We are all different and interesting and distinctive.

Do you know what is means to be an empath? People that are empaths are exceedingly aware of the emotions of others. Their awareness is so strong, they can feel the emotions others feeling themselves. Those that are empaths see the world differently than others. They are intensely aware of others, the pain others feel, and what their emotional needs are.

People that are empaths are extremely sensitive and can sense thoughts and feelings of those surrounding them. It is important to understand the different variations of empaths there are, which I am going to briefly explains.

Physical empaths can not only understand what is happening in their body but can understand others physical symptoms as well. They tend to take on the illness’s others are experiencing themselves.

All empaths are incredibly sensitive, but intuitive empaths can also recognize minuscule energies, emotions, and physical symptoms of others. Intuitive empaths consume the energies they sense from others, positive or negative into their bodies and feel them as if they were their own.

While empaths are highly sensitive to others, plant empaths uniquely engage with the needs of plants. These individuals can make exceptional gardeners or landscapers because they instinctually know the needs that plants have.

Those who are earth empaths are an exceptional type. They are avidly aware of the nature in the world. Things such as the beauty of waterfalls, trees in the forest, and flowers in an open field stimulate and invigorate earth empaths, and harmful air pollutants cause them to feel exhausted and sickly.

Animal empaths are one of my favorites and I resonate with. Animal empaths can have traits from other empaths but surround themselves with animals. When they are out in public, they are often spending time with animals instead of people. These people have a significant and memorable bond with animals, which provides them an ability to feel their needs and communicate with them in a gentle and calming manner.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site and read what I have shared. I hope you found this information interesting and provided you a better understanding of empaths. In the next post, I am going to share some signs to indicate if you are an empath. I do look forward to reading your comments and will respond to all of them as quickly as I can. It would be interesting to know if you see yourself as an empath and which best fits you. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~Overcoming challenging obstacles~

Many things that happen in life were not planned and were completely unexpected. When these unplanned situations occur, they can turn our lives upside down and inside out. What do you do to pull yourself together and continue moving forward? Do you take a break and rebuild what feels like a collapse of your life? Do you surrender to the struggles, curl up in a ball, and wait for the storm to pass? Do you keep fighting with the strength you have internally and continue living your life?

As y’all already know, I was laid off from my job last week. Of course, even though it was always in the back of my mind that layoffs could happen, I was not expecting to be laid off so close to Christmas. Over the past few days, I have been processing my emotions and trying to let go of my anger and sadness. I have decided to do everything possible to stay positive and move forward with my life. This does not mean I will not still go through moments when I am irate and then sad, but I am going to try not letting these negative emotions consume and destroy my happiness.

Going through hard times happens to everyone, but there are several ways to overcome hard times. I hope the following ways to overcome hard times will help you the next time you face challenges, struggles, and or hardships.

One of the most important things is to understand, things will not always be as difficult as they are initially, and they will get easier. I have always believed that everything in life happens for a reason and something better is waiting for us. We cannot change the hardships when they occur, all we can do is accept and embrace them, and carry on.

With any struggle we endure there are valuable lessons to learn. The struggles we experience during our life offers us the strength we will need for tomorrow, next week, and or next year. I will admit any struggle I go through I always ask myself the same questions, “Why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is this happening to me?” I understand blaming bad situations on my bad luck or anyone else does not fix or change anything. Accepting that no one is perfect and identifying our faults can help welcome change and improvements into our life!

Struggles can be exhausting, painful, and incredibly stressful. For our mental health we must try living for the day. Do not worry about what happened yesterday or last week, do not worry about what could happen tomorrow, just think about the current moment. If we are always worried about tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year, our anxiety will continuously be extremely high, and this is an unhealthy way to live our short life.

Understanding what you can control and what you have no control over is very important. We can control our actions and reactions, but we do not have any control over anyone else’s actions or reactions. When we learn to let go of controlling others or things, we can solely focus inward!

We often feel alone when we are going through a challenging time in life. It is always important to have someone that you can trust and be able to talk with them open and honestly. I know without a doubt that my three cats know how I am feeling all the time and they are delighted that I am with them more now that I do not have a job. I think everyone knows how much I love animals and that we treat our cats like they are our children because they kind of are! Anyone that goes through something difficult in life that leaves them feeling lost needs a sweet furry friend that can make anyone smile!

On Sunday evening, I had a nice chat with my former supervisor about the layoffs. Not the supervisor I reported to at the time of the layoff, the one I was working with for a few weeks before that I just adore and respect. Chatting with her, made things feel a little better because she did not know what was going to happen on Thursday and I trust what she says. This makes me think that “maybe” my supervisor did not know as well, but I will never know what she did or did not know.

Being able to view this layoff situation in a more positive mindset means I will have more time to do the things I love and that give me the outlet needed in life. I am thankful that I will be able to focus more on building on my writing skills and learn of other ways to use the skills I learn. I have always enjoyed writing and working 40 hours a week made it difficult because at the end of the day, I was always too exhausted to focus on writing. I am also going to have more time to read the books I have been wanting to read.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today and read what I have shared. I always welcome your comments, which I will respond to even faster now because I have the time. I hope you had a great and safe weekend, and your week starts great and gets even better with each day that passes. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Handling a layoff at Christmas

It is extremely unfortunate, but life tends to be accompanied by various challenges. Everything we go through in our life may seem life-altering and impossible to overcome at the time of the situation. It is critical to try seeing each experience in a logical mindset. If we attempt to process and analyze every challenge at the same time, it can become overwhelming. To avoid becoming overloaded with devastation, take your time to process what you have endured before reacting.

There will never be a good time to encounter any type of challenge. For instance, this past Thursday the mortgage company I was working for did a mass layoff. Although this was something I was expecting to happen, it was still traumatic news. Regrettably, I was one of many included in the layoffs.

Of course, there is never a good time to be laid off from a job, but Christmas time is an incredibly awful time. I have gone through so many emotions since Thursday afternoon and still am processing the atrocious news. The good thing is that I was as prepared as one can be to be laid off from their job. When I accepted the job, I knew it would always be a possibility to happen and I knew that I could not go without health insurance, so I am on my husband’s insurance. If I had to worry about insurance on top of looking for a job, my stress level would skyrocket to unhealthy levels.

I am not sure this is a good way to put it, but another reason I am luckier than others that went through this layoff is my husband and I do not have children. We do not have to worry about feeding children and other expenses that come with children. I cannot imagine what those that were laid off are going through losing a job so close to Christmas. I do know one of the people that were laid off was talking about returning the gifts she bought.

As I continue to try seeing the good things with this layoff, my husband and I live within our means. Meaning we do not have several car payments, a high mortgage, credit card debt, and other debts to worry about paying. I have always believed that we should all live within our means and try our best to have savings account for situations like layoffs.

Even though I am doing my best to stay positive, I do have my moments when I am extremely angry about this. My anger is higher than I would prefer it to be, especially because right before the “layoff” meeting I point blank asked my supervisor if layoffs were coming, which she lied about and said she did not even know what the meeting was about. I mean come on, anyone that would believe that is not being realistic. Along with the anger and often at the same time, I am sad and cry. I know anger and tears are not going to fix the issues, but I am working through the emotions at hand. No matter how hard I try to let go of my anger, I still think it is insensitive, selfish, and evil to do layoffs a couple of weeks away from Christmas.

I am trying to continue reminding myself that everything in life happens for a reason and there is something out there waiting for me that is better than the job I had. Of course, with the issues with COVID, I must find a job working from home. I cannot work in an office setting due to my immune system, so that might be a challenge. There was one good thing that came because of COVID and that is many companies are doing remote work because they realized with some industries, work can be done as easily at home as it is in an office and maybe even more effectively.

I was not going to write about my layoff because it is still so fresh in my mind and heart, but I wanted to share my story and hope it would help anyone else that goes through this type of situation. It is normal to go through many emotions when you lose a job, whether it be from a layoff or being fired. I want to tell y’all, any time one door closes another one opens and what is behind that door might be better and make you even happier. It is so important to know how much you are worth and how valuable you truly are!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is no matter how much you think you can trust a supervisor, you cannot because at the end of the day it is just business. I would love the chance to read your comments about this terrible experience and I promise to respond to all comments as quickly as I can. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

How to stop being your own worst critic

Something we have all experienced in life is criticism. This can be constructive criticism that we can use as a growth opportunity. Of course, constructive criticism should be given in a friendly manner and with good intentions. Even though constructive criticism will not normally be positive, it should be focused on helping others improve and not tearing another person down.

Unlike constructive criticism, there is destructive criticism. People may attempt to disguise destructive criticism as constructive, but it is only negative comments. This type of criticism is intended to be the following, to be a personal attack, cause harm to the other person’s self-esteem, done in public with demeaning comments, or be hypercritical or needlessly finicky and impossible to please. It is important to know if you ever experience this, you do not have to endure the abuse. Shut the person down immediately or if it happens at work report it to your supervisor or HR department.

Criticism does not always come from another person because we can be our own worst critics. I can admit that I am much harder and criticize myself more than another else does or ever could. I understand that this is something I need to work on and would like to help others that deal with this as well.

Until recently, I never acknowledged or understood that there are many reasons why people end up being their biggest critic and worst enemy. Some common reasons for this kind of thinking are low self-esteem, your desire to do better being taken to an extreme, perfectionism, or childhood experiences that made you believe that you are not worthy.

As we try ending our patterns of self-criticism, we need to train our brains in a new way of thinking. Embracing self-compassion is critical. This helps to learn that regardless of imperfections we are worthy. No one is perfect and we are all just humans that are perfectly imperfect. Our imperfections do not mean we do not deserve kindness, love, or compassion.

The following tips I am going to share could help you end your cycle of self-criticism and help you to see your value.

Be your own best friend. Think about how you would talk to your best friend or any friend when they are having a hard time. I would imagine that you would not talk to this person in an ugly and judgmental tone, but you would be encouraging and non-judgmental. We can do this with ourselves just as easily if we are patient enough.

Start and continue journaling. Simply putting your pen down on paper can do amazing things for us. Writing down what you are experiencing can help you view the situation or situations in a different light and with more self-compassion.

Recognize what can and cannot be controlled. There are many things in life we do not have control over and with that understanding, why should we criticize ourselves for not gaining control and doing better? Sounds a little crazy, right? It is crucial for us to recognize what we are and are not responsible for. Now it is time to show compassion when we make mistakes in the areas, we did not have control over.

Experiment with breathing exercises. Different breathing exercises work differently for everyone because we are all unique. Experiment with breathing exercises until you discover which works best for you. Breathing exercises can work to keep our minds calm. Once we are calmer, we will be able to view ourselves in a less self-critical way and with more self-compassion.

Demonstrate gratitude. It is in our human nature to wish for what we are missing or lacking. The power that is in appreciating what we do have is extremely beneficial. This does not have to be a difficult task and can be as simple as writing down a few things we are grateful for at the end of each day. When we put emphasis on what we are grateful for, we are providing ourselves with a softer inner voice, which can help us focus less on our imperfections. This can also help us focus on the beauty within the world around us.

Challenge negativity. We do not need to accept all our thoughts as facts. All those negative thoughts that are running through our minds are not always the truth. When we notice these negative thoughts begin to invade our day, consider positive or at least neutral thoughts to replace them with. We never need to let our inner critic consume us because we can counter and challenge those thoughts, which will help to slow that negative downward spiral down.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. If you are like me, I am sorry and hope the information in this post will help you defeat your inner critic. I know it is not going to be easy, but I think we can all accomplish this! I am very interested in reading your comments and I promise to respond to all of them as soon as I can. I hope you are having a good week and you are taking care of your needs. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, compassion, comfort, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

What is resilience and why is it important?

Resilience comes in various ways that we might not understand. Unfortunately, there have been many times in life, previously or recently, we have endured challenging times that require resilience we did not realize we have. You might not have been anywhere near New York City when the tragic events of September 11, 2001, occurred but it was a devastation that was felt around the world. Some survivors were on the ground dealing with the rubbles and some that were possibly in the building or nearby buildings seeing what took place. Even after withstanding the deadly tragedies of this day, those that faced them have managed to find joy through the darkness of their losses.

Resilience is the ability to recover from difficulties quickly. There are four types of resilience we have which include physically, mentally/psychologically, emotionally, and socially. All of these are demanding and not necessarily skills that we are born with or know we possess, but there are ways we can build on them. I will explain each type to provide a little clarification.

Physical resilience is a situational problem that can be improved upon. This refers to our body’s ability to adjust to challenges, maintain our strength, and the potential to recover efficiently. This is a person’s ability to recover or be able to function when faced with illness, an accident, or another type of physical demand. This is something that is refined by endurance exercise, flexibility, balance, maintaining a healthy diet, and resistance training.

Mental or psychological resilience is having the ability to either cope mentally or emotionally with hardships, stress, emotional challenges, and mental health distress. This type of resilience is critical because it provides people with the strength needed to process and defeat misfortunes or afflictions. Those that do not have mental resilience may become easily overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Emotional resilience can be linked with mental/psychological resilience. This is related to a person’s ability to adjust to stressful situations or dilemmas. Those individuals that have this type of resilience can “roll with the punches” and adapt to any challenges they are faced with. Unfortunately, people that lack emotional resilience often find minor or major ordeals difficult to handle.

Lastly, social resilience is regarding social bodies and the person’s abilities to adjust, tolerate, absorb, and cope with environmental and or social threats. This is important for us, so we have healthy and social connections that help make stronger people and communities that can withstand, manage, and recover from tragedies.

It is important in life to be resilient because it can protect us from several mental health conditions, which include depression and anxiety. Resilience can enhance our abilities to cope with various difficulties that could arise. The following are some tips that can help to improve our resilience.

Be connected: We should try to build strong and positive relationships. The relationships we build can be with both family and friends and can supply us with the necessary support and acceptance through good and bad times.

Make sure every day is meaningful: When we try doing something each day that gives us a sense of accomplishment, it provides purpose for the day. Setting achievable goals for the day will help us look forward to a meaningful future.

Remember & learn from experience: Think about the ways you coped with difficult times in the past and what this taught you. The previous ways you used to cope, did they help, and if not did you consider altering them? It might help to write about a past difficult experience and identify your positive and negative patterns. This can help to guide you through future hard times and how you handle them.

Continue to be hopeful: Understand that you cannot change the past, but you can look forward to the future. Accept and expect changes because it will make adapting easier. This can also help to make challenges more of an opportunity and less an obstacle, and with less anxiety.

Do not forget yourself: Remember to pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Do things that bring joy to your life, like participating in activities and or hobbies that you enjoy. Try to include physical activity in your daily routine. It is also vital to get plenty of sleep, maintain a healthy diet, and practice stress management and relaxation techniques.

Be proactive, instead of reactive: I understand it is not always easy, but do not ignore your problems. It is far better and healthier to embrace problems and figure out how to eliminate the problem or problems in your life. Decide and then act on your plan. It does take time to recover from setbacks, even when they are minor. Nothing ever happens immediately, but the situation can improve if you are willing to work on it.

First, I want to thank you for visiting my site today. I hope the information I have shared about resilience was interesting and useful for you. Second, I am very interested in reading what you thought about this post, and I will respond to all your comments as quickly as I can which might be after I am done with work, but I will do what I can!

We have made it through one day of this week and have a four more to go, which I think can do! I am hoping that your week has started well and will only get better until we finally make it until Friday! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

~How to handle holiday financial stress~

Slowly we are getting much closer to being able to celebrate and enjoy the holidays, as we did before the pandemic. Thankfully, vaccines and boosters are readily available for everyone over age 5 years old and they are free of charge. Currently, 42.7% of people worldwide have been fully vaccinated. In the United States, where I live 59.6 of the population have been fully vaccinated. I know many that have reservations of the vaccine, but how many people have died from the vaccine compared to those that died due to the virus? Maybe there have been some that died after getting the vaccine, but would they have died regardless of the vaccine?

Last year most of us were not able to celebrate holidays or even visit family because of the COVID fears. Hopefully, you were able to spend the recent holiday, Thanksgiving with your family and be thankful for the day! While we were able to enjoy the day, we have many more days ahead of us, especially if we can keep the virus under control. Of course, no one has answers to if we will face lockdowns again and fear for our lives, but we can at least try remaining hopeful.

There have been various challenges we have faced during the eighteen months of the pandemic. Unfortunately, some lost their jobs, which created financial stresses. Holidays can always come with more financial stress, but with the right amount of thought, logic, and planning, it does not have to. To help you reduce your holiday finance stress, I am going to share a few tips that might help.

Take time to give some thought to gifts. Our family and friends have different desires and wants to consider. Instead of going to the stores or shopping online mindlessly, think about each person individually. Does the person have any hobbies? Does the person enjoy personalized gifts from the heart? Does the person enjoy gifts that have other meanings? Children are typically easy to please and just enjoy a physical item they can open. Children also tend to want the newest toy available but might also enjoy arts and crafts. Therefore, a coloring book, crayons, colorful paper, and markers may keep they entertained and happy for hours!

You may also be able to divide people into different categories. This can help prioritize who you are buying for and the costs of what is purchased. With this shopping will become more about giving something meaningful, instead of just buying random items.

Create a list that you can follow. This is like going grocery shopping, which some of you might not make a list before you go grocery shopping. Do you find having something in your hand to shop with is helpful? So, you do not forget things you need or buy things that are not necessary? Creating a holiday shopping list will prevent you from impulse buying. It can be easy to start shopping for family and find something you want, that is on sale.

Creating a list that does not include yourself and stay concentrated solely on your list can help maintain your financial focus. Once you decide who you want to buy for and have an idea what the person would like, you can check things off along the way, which can provide you satisfaction for staying on task and completing an important task.

Understand your reason for holiday shopping. Once you get started with your holiday shopping, you might start feeling overwhelmed. Thoughts such as what and who you should do for, and feelings of stress being to build up inside. When you feel this start, take a step back from the situation and remember why you are holiday shopping. Also try to connect with the moment and pace yourself. Mindful breathing and meditation might help you to stay calm.

After you connect and check in with your body, ask you’re a few simple questions. Why is this important to you? Who and why are you trying to impress someone? Do you think anyone will be disappointed with your gift or are they expecting something different? Understanding the source of your stress may help you to keep it from getting too out of control.

Obviously, no one wants to disappoint someone else, but most of the time your family is not going to be disappointed. Our family just wants the chance to spend time together and creating new memories. Truthfully, it would only be a shallow type of person that would be disappointed with what we give them. Although we do all know someone that would be that shallow and they might be one of our family members, try to not allow yourself to fall into that mindset. Just remember, holidays are not about what you get or how much you spend, it is about being surrounded by loved ones!

I hope what I have shared will help reduce your stress around the holidays. It is supposed to be a time of joy, not unnecessary additional stress. Life is already difficult enough and we deal with other stresses that we cannot avoid. I do look forward to reading what you thought about what I shared. Stress has been said to be a silent killer and I believe this is true. Nothing good comes from stress, but there is a lot of things to enjoy in this short life!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. I hope your weekend begins great and only brings you more joy. The weekends are so short, so they are best spent doing what makes us happy. Even with that said, whatever you do this weekend, please do so in the safest way possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

Dealing with being let down

Unfortunately, we have all experienced being let down at least once in our lifetime. Maybe you made plans with a friend for a fun outing together, which you were looking forward to. Then as you were getting yourself ready, your friend calls to back out of your plans because of an unexpected issue. Of course, you were understanding because it was out of their control, but that does not mean you were not disappointed.

As with the scenario when a friend backs out of plans last minute, sometimes things happen, and people get sick. What happens when you worked endlessly on a project at work and you were proud of your accomplishment, but then a co-worker steps in and takes credit for your hard work. In a situation like this, you might feel anger, frustration, and or betrayed.

On an entirely different level, when we learn that someone close to us, such as a significant other, parent, child, or other family member betrays our trust, it hurts on a much deeper level. Even simply learning something new about someone we trusted and care about can be difficult for us to believe, especially when it is something surprising and not in a good way. Situations with people we are closest with can make us feel like our world has been turned upside down and inside out.

Before we have had a chance to make sense of any outside threats, our physiological responses acknowledge the negative situations. The physiological responses are our body’s automatic reactions to stimuli. The release of hormones, the rush of blood through our body and into our limbs, an increased heart rate, and accelerated breathing are all subconscious and out of our control. The only thing we do have control over is our breathing through using long and shallow exhales, which sends our body a message of safety and enables access to higher needed cognitive parts of our brain.

We are all only human and painful emotions are not easy to deal with. As humans, we are hard-wired to want to run as far away from pain as we can. It is in our instincts to try distracting ourselves from the pain in ways that bring pleasure, even if the pleasure is only short-lived. Unfortunately, this can lead us into devastating and disastrous behaviors to numb the pain we are experiencing. There are better and healthier alternatives to try, such as self-compassion practices that allow ways to embrace and understand the pain. This will provide you with a space to be silent and establish lost trust in a temporary safe place until you can understand things clearly.

It is important to carefully listen while your thoughts surface. It can be easy to attach yourself to your thoughts and let them run with their version of the events that took place. This is not going to be a useful thing to do because our minds will naturally find ways to confirm the way we are thinking and strengthen, instead of allowing healing. We must find a way to detach from the story being played out in our minds and be open to further truth and forgiveness.

No one can tell you how you should feel when someone you love lets you down. By practicing the tips shared in this post, you will be able to distance yourself from an emotional reaction and allow the wisdom within yourself to guide you to the best response. Of course, this does not mean you need to forgive or let go of what has occurred, at least not until you are ready to do so. Trust and listen to your heart and mind, as this will typically lead you down the right path.

Although I hope the information in this post was beneficial to you, I also hope you have not been let down too often. I understand how painful it is to be let down by someone you love, but in some way, it will make you a better and stronger person. I would love the chance to read what you thought of this post, and I will respond to all comments as quickly as I can.

Thank you for visiting my site today and taking the time to read what I have written. I hope you are having a good week and you are continuing to stay safe. The good news about today is, we are almost to the weekend again. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

The importance of motivation

We all have different goals, ambitions, dreams, and talents, which helps to keep the world and life more interesting. The one minor problem we can encounter is, we do not always understand what motivation means and or why it is crucial to be and stay motivated. Through the rest of this post, I am going to explain what exactly motivation means, reasons it is important in our life, and ways to not only get motivated but also to stay motivated.

Motivation is the determination we feel to accomplish goals and or needs. This is something we experienced that is strongly influenced by several internal factors that include

*Understanding how much you want your goal and how much the goals mean to you.

*Consider what your expectations are regarding your goal.

One of many reasons motivation is important to maintain in our life is because it offers us goals to work towards. When we are working towards a goal that means something to us, it provides us with a purpose in life. The goals we may have could help us to be a better version of ourselves and or help to improve another person’s life. As we continue to set and achieve goals, we are building up our self-confidence and making us feel better about ourselves.

By becoming and staying motivated, we will be able to determine which of our habits are negative and discover ways to eliminate them. This also us to create positive habits that enable further success. Motivation also makes dealing with challenges easier. This may help to view any challenges as an opportunity rather than a negative obstacle.

Many people are struggling with getting motivated due to depression and anxiety. The challenges we all encountered with COVID produced increased levels or frustration and higher levels of stress. The following tips, regardless of stress and frustrations may help you to get motivated.

*Determine one specific and achievable goal.

*Break your goal into simple and easy tasks, and schedule regular reminders.

*Consider ways you can include your goal into your life, how you will accomplish your goal, and put a specific timeframe on your goal.

Once you have established your goal and what your timeframe to accomplish your goal, it is important to stay on the right path. To remain on the right path for successfully achieving your goal, you can try the following tips:

*Make your goal a part of your daily routine. You could keep a diary, add reminders to your daily calendar.

*Only use positive dialogue. Instead of when you get frustrated or discouraged saying “I can’t”, try telling yourself you are going to continue trying and not giving up.

*Mindfulness can be a powerful tool to keep you calm and relaxed, even when you are surrounded by chaos.

It is easy for life to become overly chaotic and overwhelming. We have our work life to balance with our home life and the two can often conflict with each other. Honestly, life is not easy and can be incredibly exhausting, but hopefully the following tips will help to keep you motivated:

*Routinely review your goals and the progress you have made. When we can see our progression, it is an amazing motivator and will boost your self-esteem.

*Never give up and continue to set new goals for yourself. Consider what you want to accomplish in the next days, weeks, and months. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, focus on one goal at a time.

*It takes at least three months to establish new habits. Maintaining your drive towards your goals needs a routine to it will become automatic over time and be like second nature.

*Surrounding yourself with positive people can increase your abilities to reach your goals. Positive family and friends help to keep you feeling optimistic and offers increased positive self-talk!

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you found the information and tips useful to accomplish a few of your goals. Do you have any goals set for this week? How about goals for the month of December, considering we are almost in December already? I would love to the chance to read what some of your goals are and how you are planning to conquer them! I hope you have a wonderful and safe day! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa