Thoughts out of the blue

Out of the blue and for no reason at all, I started thinking about a life-altering event I went through. This is not something I dwell on because I have very little control over it and it would be a waste of time to overthink it. It has been more than 20 years since I heard my doctor tell me that I had Multiple Sclerosis. I was still so young, very ignorant of what this meant for my life, and fears of how many challenges I would be forced to endure. Of course, I did hear the words the doctor spoke to me on the day he broke the news to me, but it took me a while to accept what he said to me. I tried my best to fight him and tell him he was wrong, but that was fighting a battle I had no chance of winning. After several months, I chose to accept it, but also to never surrender because I do believe in the power of the mind and that positive thoughts produce positive outcomes.

All those years ago, I was terrified that I would not be able to live a normal life. Nowadays, I wonder what is normal because for me it is constant pain and frustration with a disease without a cure. I feared that I would lose the ability to walk and take care of myself, which would have been extremely hard for me because I am a very independent person and never want to rely on anyone for anything. It has been approximately 20 ½ years, 7,488 days, 179,703 hours, and 10,782,180 minutes (give or take) and I am still here. I am walking and taking care of myself and my husband, and my three cats. There have been many obstacles through the years, but I have always remained determined to not allow this illness to defeat me.

Over all the years, I have learned more than I ever wanted to about Multiple Sclerosis and as crazy as this sounds, it has taught me a lot. I have learned how to discover a strength that I never imagined having. I have learned how being determined can help me to survive the most challenging situations. I now understand how powerful resilience is and the many ways it can help us to persevere, even when we feel like hope is lost. I have learned just how a positive mind can make a HUGE difference in our daily life.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that I do not dwell on things I have little control over. I do understand that even though I have little control over Multiple Sclerosis, I can control how much I allow it to bring me down and to feel helpless. I do have control over my mind, and I can tell myself that I am stronger than this unpredictable illness. Most importantly, I can remind myself that I did nothing to cause this illness to continue to plague my life. I will continue to keep the promise I made to my late grandfather shortly after I was diagnosed to continue to fight the battle until I win the war against Multiple Sclerosis.

Unfortunately, we all have something we must live with, and we all have a choice in how we approach things. I am thankful the doctor caught the Multiple Sclerosis early because if he did not, I can only imagine how much worst things would be for me today. I will always have a special place in my heart for my first Neurologist and his Nurse Practitioner because they were an amazing team that never lost hope in me. I am thankful that I have learned to not feel any shame because of what I live with.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you enjoyed what I have shared today and that in some way, it resonates with you and helps you to understand your strength. I hope you are enjoying your weekend and remaining as safe as possible. I am looking forward to reading your comments and I will respond as quickly as possible. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

5 thoughts on “Thoughts out of the blue

  1. I’m glad you had a doctor to pick up on the MS, and that you had some good medical professionals on your MS journey. I find the gems are pretty rare but stay with you because having someone care really means a lot. “There have been many obstacles through the years, but I have always remained determined to not allow this illness to defeat me” – that is part of what makes you kick-ass. You’re determined, intelligent, open and compassionate. It’s a good combination! Sending lots of love,

    Caz xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Caz! It is hard to find good neurologists because most seem to have an awful attitude. I miss my old doctor and it broke my heart when he retired, but he deserves the chance to not work and be carefree. He was a good man! I hope you are doing well and staying safe.

      Liked by 1 person

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