Feeling Pessimistic

Happy Friday y’all! How has your week been? Do you have any plans for the weekend? I had planned to start a new job on March 14th but learned yesterday I will have to wait until March 21st. I am not going to lie, I was a little disappointed because I have been unemployed since being laid off on December 9th and miss working. WOW, those are words I never thought I would say, but I do enjoy working and having an income. This disappointment kind of falls in line with how life has been lately, but I will explain why I say that shortly.

Anyone that knows me would say that I am not an angry person, but the way things have been in the past few years has made me angry and frustrated. I hate the way things are in the country I live in and the world we all live in. My anger stems from the incredible amount of hate that has ravished the world and I do not understand why it has become so awful. I cannot understand why people have become so selfish and evil. Even though I have become angrier and more frustrated than I have ever wanted to be, I am still kind and empathetic to other’s struggles. I guess you could say it is a blessing and a curse, but it is something I have no control over.

The heinous issues going on in Ukraine are terrible and heartbreaking. Previously, I worked with two sweet ladies that were from Ukraine. I cannot imagine how they must be feeling worrying about their families. A neighboring country should NEVER torment its neighboring country just because one country wants to control the other. Two countries that share a border, should want to work together, and help one another, NOT destroy the other.

Last week, my husband and I went on our last snowboard trip for the season. Unfortunately, it was not the best trip we have ever been on because anything that could go wrong, did go wrong. The trip started terribly before we made it even an hour from our home. There was a point, I was ready to turn the truck around and head home because things were that unpleasant. I knew it was the last trip of the season, so we went on to the mountains. After a few days, of being in the mountains, my mood had become so negative I was ready to be home. The state we were in do not think the vaccine is a good idea or needed and I ended up getting into a heated debate with someone about it. I guess no matter how nice you are to someone and how logical you are, you cannot change people.

Another reason for my frustration and anger is that my pain levels have been incredibly high. Between the back and leg pain, and neuropathy issues it is hard to move around comfortably. Thankfully, I do not enjoy snowboarding as much as my husband does because the neuropathy issues made it almost impossible. The cold weather always increases my pain, so between stress and cold, I have been in excruciating pain for days. I cannot think of anyone who was dealing with the pain I have been would be overly optimistic.

The truth is that the reasons for my anger cannot be changed until the world changes. I do not enjoy being an angry person and I am trying to see the bright side, but it is getting harder. Always trying to see the good in people is a good thing but can also be painful and challenging for the mind. Even though I have been on the wrong side many times and people have betrayed my trust, I will continue to try to see the good in people. Yes, sometimes are easier than others, but there are still those few and far between times the good we see is beneficial and helps me to be the bigger person.

Thank you for visiting my site today. I know this post was not very positive, but unfortunately, the way I feel is not positive currently. I know things will get better and my mood will change for the better. I do hope your week was great and you have a safe weekend. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

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