One Year Ago, Yesterday

Yesterday, made one year since we lost our sweet and loving cat, Chloe. I did not write about this yesterday because it still hurts and maybe more than it should. Chloe brought us almost 16 years of love, smiles, laughs, joy, and more than I could ever explain. I know time heals all wounds, but it still stings like it was yesterday we had to say goodbye. The truth is there would never have been enough time with Chloe because she had a heart of gold, and I would trade anything if we could.

For some people, their pets are nothing more than just a pet, but for my husband and me it is so much more. Our pets are more like our children because, for us, they are our four-legged children. We take care of and protect them the best we can. Honestly, I know this might sound insane, but I feel like I failed Chloe because there was not anything I could do to save her. There is no telling if we had taken her to the doctor sooner, they could have done anything, and I am sure if I asked them not, they would say there would not have been anything different they could have done.

This precious girl was stubborn and did as she pleased, but I guess that is the personality of most cats. Sadly, the first time in almost 16 years she listened to me was when I whispered to her when she was laying on my lap that it was okay to stop fighting and it was okay for her to let go. We did not want Chloe to suffer, and I know she was struggling, and Chloe was able to take her final breath at home surrounded by our love. She did not have to go to the animal hospital where she would not comfortable and scared, she was able to leave this world in her time, not anyone else’s time.

I am thankful that we did not have to make that painful decision because I do not think either of us would have had the strength to do so. We loved and still love that little girl more than I could put into words that would make sense to anyone else. There were so many times when I was dealing with pain and Chloe would lay on that area because she was trying her best to alleviate the pain, I was in. When I experienced loss, I remember crying to her and she would sit with me until the tears stopped. She was one of my best friends and I could trust her to keep my secrets.

The day we lost Chloe, the tears kept flowing because how do you let go of something so meaningful? Our other cat, Sundance grieved with us because they were so close. I never in a million years thought that Chloe could have a bond with another animal as she did with him. another animal. We did have another cat before Sundance, but Chloe and Lexi were not as close. This was not because Chloe did not try because she did, but Lexi was unique. Chloe learned from Lexi how to interact with another cat, even if it was different.

It was heartbreaking to see Sundance grieve as much as we were and not know exactly what he was feeling. There were times when I was working downstairs and would hear him crying, which I knew he was looking for Chloe. There was no way to explain to him what happened and where Chloe went or that she was not coming back home. Of course, we hated to see him sad and lonely which is why we went out to adopt one kitten but came home with two. He seems happier now, but as sweet and loving as the kittens are, they will never replace Chloe. You can never replace loved ones, but you can hold onto their memory and be thankful for the memories you have.

I know this post was not uplifting, but it was rather sorrowful. I feel like writing is a good way to release emotions and I thought this needed to be shared. I will never allow for Chloe’s sweet and loving memory to be forgotten. Animals are an amazing creation and should never be taken for granted.

Thank you for visiting my site today. Although this was a sad post, I hope it helped you to understand me a little better and know how much I love all three of our cats. I say this some many times to many people, animals are much better than most humans because they love unconditionally, seldom hold a grudge, and are never judgmental or hateful. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

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