How to stop being your own worst critic

Something we have all experienced in life is criticism. This can be constructive criticism that we can use as a growth opportunity. Of course, constructive criticism should be given in a friendly manner and with good intentions. Even though constructive criticism will not normally be positive, it should be focused on helping others improve and not tearing another person down.

Unlike constructive criticism, there is destructive criticism. People may attempt to disguise destructive criticism as constructive, but it is only negative comments. This type of criticism is intended to be the following, to be a personal attack, cause harm to the other person’s self-esteem, done in public with demeaning comments, or be hypercritical or needlessly finicky and impossible to please. It is important to know if you ever experience this, you do not have to endure the abuse. Shut the person down immediately or if it happens at work report it to your supervisor or HR department.

Criticism does not always come from another person because we can be our own worst critics. I can admit that I am much harder and criticize myself more than another else does or ever could. I understand that this is something I need to work on and would like to help others that deal with this as well.

Until recently, I never acknowledged or understood that there are many reasons why people end up being their biggest critic and worst enemy. Some common reasons for this kind of thinking are low self-esteem, your desire to do better being taken to an extreme, perfectionism, or childhood experiences that made you believe that you are not worthy.

As we try ending our patterns of self-criticism, we need to train our brains in a new way of thinking. Embracing self-compassion is critical. This helps to learn that regardless of imperfections we are worthy. No one is perfect and we are all just humans that are perfectly imperfect. Our imperfections do not mean we do not deserve kindness, love, or compassion.

The following tips I am going to share could help you end your cycle of self-criticism and help you to see your value.

Be your own best friend. Think about how you would talk to your best friend or any friend when they are having a hard time. I would imagine that you would not talk to this person in an ugly and judgmental tone, but you would be encouraging and non-judgmental. We can do this with ourselves just as easily if we are patient enough.

Start and continue journaling. Simply putting your pen down on paper can do amazing things for us. Writing down what you are experiencing can help you view the situation or situations in a different light and with more self-compassion.

Recognize what can and cannot be controlled. There are many things in life we do not have control over and with that understanding, why should we criticize ourselves for not gaining control and doing better? Sounds a little crazy, right? It is crucial for us to recognize what we are and are not responsible for. Now it is time to show compassion when we make mistakes in the areas, we did not have control over.

Experiment with breathing exercises. Different breathing exercises work differently for everyone because we are all unique. Experiment with breathing exercises until you discover which works best for you. Breathing exercises can work to keep our minds calm. Once we are calmer, we will be able to view ourselves in a less self-critical way and with more self-compassion.

Demonstrate gratitude. It is in our human nature to wish for what we are missing or lacking. The power that is in appreciating what we do have is extremely beneficial. This does not have to be a difficult task and can be as simple as writing down a few things we are grateful for at the end of each day. When we put emphasis on what we are grateful for, we are providing ourselves with a softer inner voice, which can help us focus less on our imperfections. This can also help us focus on the beauty within the world around us.

Challenge negativity. We do not need to accept all our thoughts as facts. All those negative thoughts that are running through our minds are not always the truth. When we notice these negative thoughts begin to invade our day, consider positive or at least neutral thoughts to replace them with. We never need to let our inner critic consume us because we can counter and challenge those thoughts, which will help to slow that negative downward spiral down.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site today. If you are like me, I am sorry and hope the information in this post will help you defeat your inner critic. I know it is not going to be easy, but I think we can all accomplish this! I am very interested in reading your comments and I promise to respond to all of them as soon as I can. I hope you are having a good week and you are taking care of your needs. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, compassion, comfort, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

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