The Pain of Loss

All losses are tragic and painful. When we endure a loss, no matter how deep the pain is, people often try saying that time heals all wounds. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? I believe that everyone is unique and processes loss in their way. No one can tell another how they should heal from a loss or how long it should take them to let go of the pain and move on.

My dear sweet and loving grandfather passed away almost nine years ago. It was not until the afternoon of September 9, 2013, I understood how one single phone call could hold the power to shatter my heart and change my life forever. It still feels like it was yesterday when I received that life-altering call that my grandfather’s battle with cancer ended and he was at peace.

Every year on my grandfather’s birthday, all I want to do is call him to wish him a happy birthday and it is heartbreaking that I cannot do that. Holidays will never feel the same without hearing the cheerfulness in his voice. I will always miss being able to call my grandfather randomly just to hear the latest family updates and any exciting news he had about his week.

Each year on the day my grandfather lost his battle with cancer and another angel was born, I relive losing him again. To this day, I cannot get through hearing the song he would sing while on a car ride without breaking down into tears. Seven Spanish Angels, by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson, will forever be special to me.

Almost ten months ago on February 7, 2021, my husband and I experienced an agonizing loss. Chloe was our special, sweet, loving, and beautiful cat that we had for nearly sixteen years. She was more than just a cat to us, but a LARGE part of our family. Chloe had an extraordinary soul and was full of love and personality. Throughout her life with us, she showed us unconditional love, happiness, and laughter. We have almost sixteen years of memories to hold on to and remember her fondly.

Chloe had healing powers and knew what and where I was hurting. She would lay on the area causing me pain until the pain would dissipate. Not one day goes by when I do not think about and miss Chloe. I still remember the only day she listened and followed my directions; it was when I told her she did not have to fight anymore, and she could let go. It was not but ten minutes later when she took her final breath.

I am sure everyone has heard that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Maybe that is a true statement, but what do you think? This saying sounds so clique with truth mixed in. The two losses I just explained broke my heart into a million pieces and my heart still is not whole again.

A huge part of me believes that my grandfather knew his battle with cancer was coming to an end, which is why he did not want me to go visit him. Even in his final days, he had my best interest in mind. I think he did not want me to see him struggling and have that be the way I remembered him. Regardless of anything else, I regret not being able to see him one last time. I was not able to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him and say my final goodbyes.

Even though I will always miss Chloe, I am thankful we were able to let her pass in her time and comfortably at home and on my lap. She spent her entire life surrounded by nothing but love. If there were anything I could have done to prolong her life without pain or struggles, I would have gladly done so.

Thank you for visiting my site today and reading of what I am reminiscing about. Memories can be great, but also have sadness within them. I do cherish the memories I have of my late grandfather and Chloe but would give anything for one more day with both. I hope you have had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa

5 thoughts on “The Pain of Loss

  1. You’re so right, Alyssa. We all have our own personal journey where grief and loss is concerned. When i lost my husband Michael after twenty-two years together, I kept wondering if I was doing it right. I have since learned that there is no wrong way to work through a loss—as long as I keep working on building a new life.

    Liked by 1 person

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