~My Random Emotions Coming Together~

Two weeks ago, today our lives were tragically changed when we lost our sweet little girl Chloe. It has not been easy adjusting to life without Chloe because she was a huge part of our family. We had that sweet baby girl for more than 15 years and now the house feels a little empty without her. It does provide some solace knowing that we gave her a wonderful and loving home, but the void in our hearts is deep. Although Chloe is not with us physically, this sweet cat will live on forever in our hearts. Not only are my husband and I feel the loss, but our younger cat misses Chloe as well. Thankfully, Sundance, our younger cat still has a personality that makes us smile.
A few things happened today, that made a mark. My grandmother, on my mother’s side of the family, passed away. Unfortunately, she and I did not have your typical grandmother/granddaughter relationship. The two of us were strong-willed and never backed down, even with each other. I am not sure if I would say we had a lot in common because I do believe we were vastly different, but she was still my grandmother. I will say I remember her as a child and do have a few good memories. I do wish there had been a way we could have made a mend before her passing, but we did not have any ill words with each other. Honestly, it might have been because we did not speak much. I hope her last days were peaceful and she was comfortable when she took her last breath.

Another interesting thing that happened today is, my father and I had a nice talk. I called him to tell him about my grandmother’s passing. They had not spoken in more than 30 years, but I guess I had to talk openly about it. One thing that my father said to me today meant more than I could ever explain was how proud my grandfather had always been of me. He told me that I could make my grandfather smile even if he was having a bad day and that means the world to me. I have told y’all before how much my grandfather meant to me and how much I admired him. Knowing that my grandfather was proud of me will stay with me and help me through challenging times.
During my conversation with my father, I mentioned to him that I was considering entering a writing contest. Of course, I always question my writing abilities, but he told me that he thought I should because he always enjoyed reading what I write about. He assured me that I shared something in common with my grandfather and that was how the way our writing showed deep emotions and our strong personality. It makes me feel good knowing that I have some of my grandfather’s devotion and strength because he was an amazing man that I will always hold close to my heart. Something that has always amazed me is, how one small thing another person says can have an enormous impact on another person life and typically in a good way!

I am taking into consideration everything my father told me when I talked about the writing contest, but now I need to decide what I will write about. I know it is important to take chances, but I also need to learn too not be so hard on myself. Over the past three years, I have had the chance to get to know all of you and it has been a great opportunity. With that said, have any of you entered any writing contests and if so, how did you decide what you would write about? I value your opinions and advice, so I look forward to reading your thoughts!

I am sure y’all have noticed that I have been a little absent from blogging. This week has been strange. Not only have I been dealing with the loss of Chloe, but I have felt very sluggish and had a lack of energy. There have been many times I wanted to sit down and write about something but could not get through it. I guess it might have something to do with the weather changes because it has not only been cold, but we have had an insane amount of rain. The colder weather always have a negative effect on how I feel, but then so does the rain. I guess the combination has been a double threat!
Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope you have enjoyed reading what I wrote about today. I also hope you had a nice and safe weekend! Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, support, and MANY positive vibes!

Always, Alyssa
Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here Mental Health Collaborative .
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