I find it amazing how a person can make what to them might be a simple comment, but the person hearing the words perceives it as one of the most remarkable compliments they have heard in a while. Today, I was messaging back and forth with my father. Indeed, my father and I do not talk much, but we have been messaging each other more often lately. Anyways, the words I read made me cry and not tears of sadness, but tears of pure joy. My father told me I get my temper, sense of humor (which at times might more of a sick sense of humor), my caring heart, and love for writing from my late grandfather, Poppy.
I think I have made it perfectly clear before that I completely and totally idolized my Poppy. He was a man with a heart and saw everyone equally. I don’t think this man knew hate of any kind. I think it is safe to say that in my eyes he could do NO wrong and pretty much hung the moon and stars.
All these years later, I can still remember being in the car with him and listening to him sing. There was a song that I loved hearing him sing. Of course, that song isn’t the same type of music I listen to normally, but it serves as a nice reminder of him. The song is, “Seven Spanish Angels”, by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson. Now days if I hear this song, within the first two seconds I am in tears because I still can hear my Poppy singing the song.
Just knowing that some of who I am today is a result of someone I still love so much and idolize means more than words can ever begin to describe. I feel confident saying that anyone privileged enough to know my Poppy, would agree with me when I say he was one of the most caring, gracious, humble, generous, charismatic, thoughtful, dedicated, amazing, and loving people that has ever walked this earth. I know there are several other great ways to describe my Poppy, but I do not believe there is enough paper in the world to cover all the ways.
I will never forget the day, September 9, 2013, when I received the call from my uncle. Through no fault of his own, until this say he was my favorite uncle, called to tell me that my Poppy had passed away. For a moment, all the air was completely sucked out of me. People were walking past me happily talking on their cellphone as if nothing had changed and their world was still spinning fine, when mine had just come to an incredibly abrupt stop. Through heartbreak and tears I kindly asked if anyone had notified my father yet. When he said my father was not contacted yet, I offered to be the one to call him.
At this point, it has been a little while since I had spoken to my father because of hurt and anger for missing my wedding. It was not ever going to be an easy conversation, but I wanted him to hear the devastating news from someone kind and emotional, not from social media. I did not think the loss of someone as special as my Poppy should ever hit social media first. I don’t know if this was with the help of the newest angel in Heaven or not, but while I was telling my father what happened he was also seeing it on Facebook. The picture above is many years old of my Poppy, father, and myself.
My beloved, strong, courageous, compassionate, and sarcastic Poppy fought against prostate cancer for too many months for a man as wonderful as him, but he did so with determination. During his battle he never once uttered the words, “Why me?”, instead he was thankful for his family, friends, other golf enthusiasts and colleagues at Country Club he spent decades at. This was a man that only counted his blessings in life and viewed the difficult times as a challenge, not a failure.
Another comment my father made today was anytime I question myself, all I needed to do is look towards my husband and know he loves me more than anyone else could. I know he said this was because I was uncertain about myself because I know I am sometimes not easy to deal with. The reason I can be difficult is because I never give up on something I believe strongly in. I will argue my point endlessly and never once change my mind. I know this can be frustrating for some people, but anyone that really knows, understands, and loves me, fully knows how to deal with my incredibly stubborn ways. I also tend to become overly passionate when I feel someone has been mistreated and will not give up until the person is treated better and receives a proper apology that they accept. I guess maybe that is another trait I get from my Poppy!
The hard truth is, I never got the chance to say, “Good bye or see you later” to my Poppy . I guess not many people ever do get that kind of chance and there is never a good time to lose someone you care so deeply for, but it sadly happens. I am not even sure my Poppy knows how much I love him or how much I treasured him. To this day I still look up to him and hope that I am making him proud of me. During the difficult and painful times in my life, I still talk to him and must believe he is watching over me. Shortly after he passed away and I was back at work, I would sit outside for lunch and I swear the same butterfly flew around me each day. I think that butterfly was my dear sweet Poppy letting me know he was okay and I would be as well. These days anytime I am having a hard time in life and see a butterfly, I think it is my Poppy checking on me. He is always in my heart, mind, and soul silently reminding me he will always be by my side.
This post was heavily influenced by the comments my father made to me today. I thought it was good enough to share the overwhelming feelings I had and wanted to know if anything like this has happened to you. Sometimes, people can say one small thing to you during hard times and it can make an enormous difference. I guess this is why I have said several times before everything we say and do can affect another person in ways we would never have thought of. Sometimes, words that seem insignificant are the words that mean everything to someone else.
I would really love to be able to read of a time you have experienced something like this. Any small words you heard or read that made you smile and actually made your day! I also want to thank you for visiting my site today and reading this very emotional post. I honestly did not make it until the end without many tears. I hope your week is going well and you are feeling the best you possibly can. Whatever you do for the rest of the week, please do all you can to stay safe. This virus has not let up yet and can still be very dangerous. Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort, and many positive vibes!