Painful losses

140096-Eckhart-Tolle-Quote-Loss-is-very-painful-because-any-kind-of-lossIt does not matter if this is something that is expected or if it happens unexpectedly, a loss is painful and tragic. Losing someone you care for is hard and it takes time for those wounds to heal, but the piece of your heart that is missing is irreplaceable. It hurts losing a loved one, friend, pet, or even a co-worker.

Today, February 16th is my grandfather, better known as Poppy’s birthday. Losing him almost 7 years ago caused me hqdefault (2)more pain than I have ever known was possible. I know I have written about him before, but my Poppy was my hero. There has never been and never will be another like him. He was special and love just radiated from this man. I believe if there were more people like him in this world, it would be a much better place.

I still remember when my husband’s grandfather passed away. It has been almost 11 years and the memories of him still shine bright in the eyes of the family. This was another man that was special and had a heart of gold; I do not believe he ever met a 98bd649d6231caf150d6324a4e2f8353stranger and everyone loved him. It has been almost 6 years since my husband’s grandmother passed away. His grandmother was a kind, loving, and beautiful woman that I still feel honored to have known. Until my husband’s grandparents, I had never known two people that were so devoted to each other and their family, which I am so glad I have been part of. This strongly devoted and loving couple was reunited again in Heaven, which is powerful! I do hope our grandparents met and the trio is watching over us.

I know I shared with y’all that my aunt on my mother’s side of the family has been battling cancer. She was told a few weeks ago that she had six months left to live, but it seems like that six-month time frame is changing way too fast. After working a 13-hour shift as a nurse, my mother received a call from my uncle to give her an update on my grief-4aunt’s condition. On Saturday, February 15th, my uncle shared that my aunt was not eating and was non-responsive. Hospice did come to my aunt and uncle’s house to assist with supporting my aunt with keeping her comfortable. My mother flew north for what will probably be the last time she sees her sister. It is terribly sad how what started off as my aunt having six months left to live, to what might be six days. My heart goes out to my uncle, cousin and my cousin’s children.

I am glad that my mother has been able to see her sister before her life comes to an end. goodbyes-are-not-forever-wooden-block-decal-sticker-graphic-91528-1-pI think having the last time you see a family member or anyone for that matter in the coffin, is probably the saddest and most traumatic image anyone can have. I was not able to see my Poppy before he passed away and that image of him looking peaceful in a coffin, haunts me still today.

I started my day wishing my dear Poppy Happy Birthday in heaven and then learned about my aunt’s battle, so it has been an emotional day. I promised myself that I will celebrate my Poppy’s life every year for his birthday and I also honor his life every day love-is-a-learned-behavior-a-person-cant-show-what-23519374by trying my best to continue making him proud of the person I am. Between my husband’s sweet grandparents and my Poppy, the losses have been painful, but having these amazing people in my life has added so much love and hope for me. I know that I will never be the person my Poppy was or the wife that my husband’s grandmother was or have the strength my husband’s grandfather had, but I will give all I can to being even half of what these amazing people were.

I hope y’all had a nice weekend and you are feeling well. Please, if you have a free fb373774f99eed9530f5aba2ca325708moment, say a prayer for my aunt who is saying her goodbyes, my uncle who is losing the woman he has been married to for 25 years, my cousin that is coming to terms with losing her mother, and my mother who is trying to be strong with saying goodbye to her older sister. I appreciate all your kind thoughts and hope your weekend was pleasant. Never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

love-2-e1526867753936

❤Always, Alyssa❤

13 thoughts on “Painful losses

  1. every anniversary of my mothers death (coming up) and my husbands including birthdays and simple things like anniversary and valentines makes my heart ache.

    TALKING about our loved ones keeps them alive. I talk about mine all the time. I mention my hubby nearly every day. He is still with me, i know it, and so is mum. I lost my dad in 1997 a year after my marriage. I find it hard to think about him as he was my rock. I know i will be with them again. It is painful, hard but its part of our lives. we should never take our loved ones for granted. xxxxxx I send you be a hug i know your in pain. xxx

    I wrote this https://livingdailywithmultiplesclerosis.com/2018/04/01/the-empty-chair/
    everyone eventually will have an empty chair.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is so sad what is going on. My poor mind can’t handle many more bad things. I keep trying to call my mother because she is with the family up north, but she isn’t answering. I can’t believe what was 6 months turned into what seems like 6 days, it is heartbreaking.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Alyssa, the passing of a loved one is always very painful especially if you’re close to them.

    What I can say to you is that if you think about how much they love you and would want you to be happy; it will ease the pain and you’ll actually feel their strength in you.

    I say this because I have lost both grandparents on each side, my parents, my brothers, my nephew who was like a son to me and my brother in law. I know they are smiling down at me sending me the love, strength and light that I need to live out my highest authentic life.

    I know your loved ones are doing the same for you.

    I did say a prayer that God turn your Aunt’s health around like He did for Joel Osteen’s mom who had been also diagnosed with cancer to live 6 months . It has been quite a number of years, but his mom is still alive and cancer free and sits in church with them. God is a God of miracles. The bible says when two come together in agreement with a person’s healing through faith in what God can do, it will be done according to His Will. He has the final say because as His children, he does not want us to suffer.

    I’m praying for you and yours as well. Sending you lots of love, hugs and kisses my dear friend.

    Emma😁🙏🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Emma. Loss is definitely difficult, but you are right those I have lost would want me to be happy. I also appreciate your prayers for my aunt. My aunt did end up going to Heaven on Monday morning. It was peaceful and now she is not suffering, which is a good thing. It is sad, but she passed with family around her and now she is at eternal peace.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a beautiful post, yet so incredibly sad.

    I’m so, so sorry about your aunt. I remember it being similar with my uncle. He’d had what turned out to be an aneurysm, was supposed to be fine. Then he fell, because he wasn’t being properly cared for, and broke his hip. From there, he deteriorated within days, and within a couple of weeks we got the call he had just a few months left. He was supposed to be home and well, so it was such a shock, especially for my poor aunt and their adult children. It wasn’t months at that point when they told us it was, it was days. That time is precious and I’m glad I was able to take me and my mother up there to see her brother to say goodbye, like your mother being able to see her sister now. Losing someone can have such a ripple effect on those around them, but at the same time it shows how much love there is. It’s heartbreaking and I feel like I’m feeling it your family like I did for mine.

    Your poppy sounded like an incredible man that will always be part of your life’s story. Wishing him a happy (belated!) birthday. It goes without saying he would be immensely proud of you, Alyssa. At least that’s one thing you should never have to doubt or question. Sending love to your and your family  ♥
    Caz xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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