Happy Sunday y’all! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and you are feeling well. I am really sorry that I have been a little MIA for the past few days, but I have been dealing with decisions that I am terrified I will make the wrong choice.
I think it is already perfectly clear how I feel about my job and manager. It is extremely difficult for me to sit by silently when I see people being treated like third-class citizen that doesn’t deserve kindness and compassion. Of course my manager has found him an assistant manager that thinks the nasty treatment is acceptable and is almost worse than he is! Y’all know I currently work for an apartment community, which I had done previously for years. I was a good manager and excellent with leasing and taking care of my residents. I NEVER once treated the residents in a demeaning manner, but always tried to understand what was going wrong with their lives. I have even gone as far to say to my heartless manager if it were not for the residents we would NOT have a job! But yet he still acts the same way!
On Wednesday night I was dealing with some horrible pain and unpleasant feelings in my legs and feet making it impossible for me to sleep. I know my body and knew it would not be possible to be at work and walk around, so I called out sick on Thursday. The manager decided to make things even more stressful for me requiring a doctor’s note to prove myself. He even went as far to say in a text message, “I hope you enjoy your day.” I mean seriously, I called out due to pain and NO sleep and this idiot had the nerve to tell me to “ENJOY” my day! I believe there is a point when being treated unfairly makes a person break. Well I hit that point on Thursday!
First of all he knew when he hired me that I had Multiple Sclerosis and knew some days would be worst than others. It isn’t like I was hiding my illness from him, in fact I was very upfront with him! So what gives him the right to treat me as if I do not have a chronic illness?? I complied with the requests to provide doctor’s notes that I am NOT able to work more than 5 days in a row and yet he still had the nerve to ask me why I was scheduled off on the Friday before I worked the weekend! If I had worked that Friday, I would have been working 8 days in a row without a break, which is NOT ONLY ILLEGAL, but against my doctor’s orders! Why ask for doctor’s notes if he wasn’t planning to honor them?
At this point I have a doctor’s note keeping me out of work until Wednesday. Honestly, I am debating with myself if I am going to go back! I have one interview already and another one on Tuesday that seem promising. Are these jobs what I want to do for work? Probably not my first choice, but they both would be a hell of a lot better that where I am at now! I have gone back and forth with myself all weekend if I am just going to walk into the office at some point next week and tell him to take his job and poor treatment up his ass! Or I could go in on Wednesday to negative treatment and guilt trips! It should not be a difficult decision to make, but quitting like this isn’t who I am!
The other issue that is huge with this place is I have not been given my bonus for 2 months, which is SO WRONG! This so called man treats my co-worker like he is God! This co-worker doesn’t get anywhere near the amount of leases I do and most residents think he is rude! He is late to work every day, takes longer lunches and leaves early, but somehow still gets 80 hours. Hmm, how do you think that happens? So my question is what does this co-worker have that I don’t?
I know this decision seems cut and dry, but I am still struggling with it! I know that if I quit suddenly, I will find another job because I am determined and I also do not do well not having a job. At the same time, I do feel like I deserve a short break to get my body feeling better. I have been suffering with pain and frustration for way too long! So, what do I do now? In my heart I know my health needs to come first and leaving this toxic environment would be good for my mental stability.
Thank you for visiting my site today. I am sorry this was pretty much a rant, but getting these feelings out has been helpful. Now, I am asking you for any advice you may have, please! I do hope the rest of your weekend is great! Please know that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love
, comfort, and many positive vibes!
Always, Alyssa
Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here.
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God, what an idiot.
Enjoy! Fucker. Next time, write him, I so would but, though some may find it hard to believe it, there’s nth enjoyable about pain.
I’m for thinking things thru and good planning. Why don’t you start looking for a new job, this time a part-time one? 5 for sb like you is too much. Work 4, rest 3.
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Thank you!!! I really needed this because I have been struggling with my thoughts on what to do. What I really want to do is walk in there next week, tell the boss and other co-workers to go to hell and I QUIT! I was surprised on just how ugly he has been. This sounds terrible, but he is so fake! We all know the man is gay and he seems to be the only one that doesn’t know it. I am cool with gay guys but not okay with those that aren’t honest with themselves!
I know I can handle a normal full-time job working no more than 8 hours a day or more than 5 days in a row. The two jobs I am thinking about are both desk jobs, so I wouldn’t have to worry about too much physical work.
I think I should tell him he has pissed me off so bad and too many times that friend overseas has some kind words for him!!!!
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If I could, I’d be happy to tell him to go to hell for u. They would love having him there. Hypocrite.
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I wish I could have you there with me when I go into the office. I am afraid I am going to lose my cool and it will get ugly!
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I know what it feels like. It’s because you’re a nice person and things like this require that you copy their behavior. It can get ugly.
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I completely agree with Bojana….part-time would be best.
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Part-time would be nice, but it just isn’t affordable. I am sure things will work out for the best.
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praying for the perfect job for you!
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Thank you Wendi!!!!!
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truly my pleasure to pray for you.
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Thank you so much Wendi!!!
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Boy, oh boy!!! I hope you nail that interview on Turesday! I’d tell that SOB of a manager to take that doctors not as shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. What a jackass!
You have rights, Alyssa. I would certainly check out what your legal rights are, and whatever you do… don’t erase any of the obnoxious texts and/or phone messages this jerk has sent to you in the past.
Even if you have lude comments through emails, I’d print them up as a source of proof that this jerk is mistreating you.
Again, You have MS, your own doctor has advised you to take it easy… and this jerk is giving you a hard time. Eff’ him!
Sorry if I’m coming off strong with this, it’s people like that who deserve to have their balls snipped off and taken down a few notches.
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I feel pretty good about the interview I had last Friday and think the one Tuesday will go just as well. They are with the same company. It will be a desk job and I will not have to be on my feet.
I know I have rights and I almost want him to fire me. If he did, I could easily scare him with a lawsuit because it would not be legal! I have provided the doctors notes that were requested and yet he is still be a complete and total ass!
Oh my goodness girl, I LOVE your attitude towards this and agree 100%!!! You know what they say about karma? Well mistreating me for an illness I didn’t ask for would be better than how I will respond!
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I’ve been around the block a few time to many and know how certain people think. They think they are in the spotlight when they degrade others.
I had one supervisor that puched every last button on me once… She blew it. I ended up walking out on her during our most busiest of seasons, (Christmas), I didn’t care because I had already secured another job, I just never gave her two weeks notice.
I heard later that she was losing her mind because her “So-called” best employee dumped her like a bad habit.
My attitude was, “Oh well!”
No one deserves to be treated like crap, especially if they ae not deserving of such.
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Sounds like your previous manager got the bad karma she deserved!
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I actually just left my response on another post of yours…
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Thank you so much Beckie!
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You’re so very welcome, Alyssa.
I knwo what it’s like to be in that position. It sucks, I hate confrontation too… However, when I am pushed too far, I blow up. It takes a lot for me to blow up, but this is what happens.
You should read my Monday Peeve to see what happens when I’m pushed too far. Not a good thing.
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I am definitely going to read your Monday Peeve!!!!!
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Hahaha… It’s no biggie.
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Oh my! Walking away from toxic BS does NOT make you a quitter! It means you value self-protection. I had a job once that was horrible, and I should’ve quit long before I did. I really think that “hanging in there” is a false virtue, because we need to put our own wellbeing first at all times. I wouldn’t go back, not even to quit in person. They couldn’t pay me to. I’d just quit outright. And if I weren’t fearful of repercussions to my career, I wouldn’t even bother to tell them I quit. I’d just decide not to show up and let them deal with it. (Kids, don’t try this at home.)
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Thank you so much Meg! I do believe I would be much happier walking away from the toxic environment. I deserve better and definitely will not put up with being mistreated. I do my job and do it very well, so this attitude towards me is NOT right! I have gone back and forth with what I am going to do, but I think I want to tell him to shove my job and doctor’s notes where the sun doesn’t shine!
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Follow your heart and if this job is contributing to your stress then it’s not worth it. Just make sure you have things in order before quitting. By the way, take the days off the doctor told you too. Good luck.
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Thank you so much! I am normally good at following my heart, but I have struggled with a decision on the job issue.
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That is understandable because it is an important part of your life and it isn’t an easy choice to make. I’m sure God will guide you. Ask from deep within your faith for the right decision and He will show you the way. As my mom use to say “pray in earnest “. Yes I’m old school 😊😊. Wishing you the best.
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I have left a couple jobs because of psycho bosses, been let go at a couple of jobs because they didn’t want to work with MS and doctor’s notes. It’s all a big mess, and all we can do is find a boss who wants to actually be human about things. I have had a couple, and I do miss them.
Best of luck with things for you.
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It definitely can be a struggle. The part that irritates me is I have always been open with my illness. Somehow, I know things will work out for the best. I do thing this job isn’t for me and the manager needs to wake up to what he is doing.
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I am so very sorry this is happening to you, life can be so very unfair. In the past, I have worked full-time and part-time. Full time was always more than 40 hours a week and sometimes 9-10 days straight due to the way the weeks fell. Part-time allowed me rest between work and didn’t leave me so tired that I couldn’t go grocery shopping or run errands. My last part-time job was 5 days/week 4 hours/day one week and 3 three half days and one full day. Plus, not being their full time allowed for me not to get sucked into the drama of work as much as being their full time which results in less stress and then less pain.
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Thank you Wendi! I do wish I could work part-time and I am sure there will come a time it will be okay. There is way too much drama when you work full-time because people always have something they want to talk about. I have done rather well not getting sucked into that at my job because I just don’t speak to many people. I am more than certain I am the gossip right now and that is fine with me, People do not know anything about what I am dealing with!
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I am so very sorry Alyssa……..life can be so very stressful and that is even w/o living with a chronic illness, but adding that on top of everything else can make it extra difficult.
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Life definitely can get complicated, but somehow we make it work. Things have been stressful lately, but all will work out the way it is supposed to. I had an interview today, another tomorrow and hopefully the last one next week. Something has to happen!!
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I am sure you will find another job and i pray things become less stressful for you.
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Thank you Wendi! I know something will come along and be much better than where I am at now!
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it absolutely will!
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Aww I’m so sorry that you have had severe pain this week (both mentally and physically). Your manager is such an idiot. I’m glad the assistant manager is more level-headed though! If it is really affecting your happiness then go searching for new job. You deserve it 😊
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The manager is definitely an idiot, but unfortunately so is the assistant. She is a lot like him and has no compassion for anyone. I have been looking for another job. I had an interview last Friday and another this Tuesday. The hiring manager for the one last Friday had a family emergency and won’t be back until Wednesday, but I am still in the running for the position. Something better will come along!
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Sometimes we need to rant! And be careful, do not give this . . . person any ammunition that he can use against you. Even if you leave.
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That is the good thing, he has no ammunition. I have provided all the doctor’s notes that were requested, so he has no reason to mistreat me. He doesn’t know what my site is and neither does anyone else there, so they will not see my rant!
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He is an ass and you should have told him that. I think you are better quitting if you can and finding a new job when your ready. No one deserves to be treated like that.
I know you will nail that interview and get it. Good luck
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You are very right Michelle, he is an ass! When I do go to the office, I am going to have a hard time not telling him that!
I am hopeful I will get one of these other jobs! Fingers crossed!
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hey my friend, you have known me way to long that you know what I would suggest for you to do. 🙂
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Thank you Alaine! I have so many things I want to say to him and they are not lady like!!
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Hello my friend, we have known each other way to long for you to not know what I would suggest 🙂 While you are looking for another job, can you report him to his Supervisor and/or the corporation? Apparently, that low life has been getting away with this way to long and I know you, you can be the one to stop him. Praying for you. I always told you, your health is first. love ya.
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Do what your gut is CV telling you. Your health is MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. Y
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CV is typo, ignore
😁🙏🙏🙏
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I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you! Definitely take all the days off your doctor recommended since you have the paperwork. I hope you find a more suitable job soon that treats you with respect and allows for your MS with more understanding!
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You need to get out of that place.
All being surrounded by those assholes will do it cause more stress in your life and make your symptoms worse. If there is a labor department within the state you live in that you can file a complaint with on the way out the door. You might want to consider that, unless the subsequent fight, assuming there is one, isn’t something you want to deal with. I mean, they can’t discriminate you or treat you differently because of your disability, and they are required by law to make accommodations based on your medical documentation, aren’t they? But then there is the issue of that bonus. If you leave that could give them a (non-valid) reason not to give to you at all, and you may need to pursue things with your state just to get that. Either way, you need to leave. It just depends on how much you want to try to stick it to these guys
Good luck
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WOW! Thank you so much for this excellent advice! I would not have ever thought about going to the labor board. I mean, I live in SC and most of what is done here is back ass wards! Bonuses would have already gone out, so leaving will not cause me any additional issues. I swear I have done everything that was asked of me. I provided them numerous doctor’s notes. Even on a daily basis I have asked for assistance moving packages, but NO ONE helps. I do not like seeing the clutter so I am the only one that moves them where they belong. The jackasses I work with make plans for stupid resident events and never share anything with me. They events are required to attend and it forces me to work more than 8 hours. I really want to stick it to these assholes as much as I can, but it makes me nervous. My day planner is still on my desk there and that is the only thing I want. I just do not want to see the manager! Do you think I should tell them now i am done?
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I would, but if you earned time off that you haven’t used, I would give them the proper notice so they can’t withhold that from u
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Thank you! As bad as this is going to sound, I don’t think he will get a proper notice because he doesn’t deserve that respect. There isn’t anything they can withhold from me, so I guess there is nothing to lose. I am just not good at this because it is making me feel like a failure and a quitter.
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They failed you, not the other way around.
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Thank you so much for saying that! I really needed to hear that. I bought myself a few extra days to make a decision. My amazing doctor wrote me out of work until Monday, so hopefully I will get a job offer before Monday!
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That would be wonderful
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Alyssa, You have to do what is right for you! Talk to your husband and do what you feel is best for your health, sanity and situation. I havent worked in years because of stuff like this and the fact that I cant make it through the day with out a nap. If I dont take a nap, I am useless for the second half of my day. It definitely seems like there is some favoritism there and that is just not right, no matter what. You are definitely not a quitter!!! You are too good and kind to be treated unfairly! I hope your interview goes well on Tuesday. That may actually make your decision easier.
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Thank you so much Jen! I know you are right and I need to finally do what is best for me and my health. I think my husband will be supportive of whatever I decide to do. This decision would be a lot easier if my husband was working, but unfortunately he hasn’t in over 2 years. I know even if it isn’t one of the two jobs I have interviewed for or am going on an interview for, I will find something and it will be so much better than where I am at now. The past few days not being there but overthinking what I am going to do, I have felt a sense of calmness.
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Thank you for sharing!.. 🙂
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ― Roy T. Bennett
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You are welcome and thank you for reading!
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Bloody hell, I so wish I lived nearer (or at least the same country!) because I’d LOVE to go in there and give him a piece of my mind! There’s only so long you can say ‘it’s a job’ and ‘it’s better than nothing’ because this sort of stuff grinds you down.. as you well know! It’s appalling you’re asked to work more hours than you signed up to do, beyond what’s healthy or manageable for you. But not getting the bonus either? He can shove it, you’re worth a heck of a lot more than this. Good luck with the other interview. I think you’ll know in your gut what to do. Follow that, trust yourself. Sending lots of love your way, and know what whatever you choose, you can deal with it and it will be okay ♥
Caz xxxx
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Oh my goodness I am sorry to be so late with responding. I wish you lived closer too, I might need a little help and back up! I had planned to drop my letter of resignation and keys off today, but the rain has me feeling awful, but it will happen tomorrow. It scares the hell out of me quitting without another job, but I think one of them will come through. I appreciate all your support Caz, you are an amazing person and support!
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I’m sorry you’re going through this and I understand your situation completely. I left my past job due to being treated disrespectfully on a constant basis by management. While being a diligent worker, my work was never recognized and others received promotions and privileges that did half as much work as I did. I quietly began looking for a new job and with Jehovah God’s help, found the perfect one and never looked back. I’m going to share some advice my mother shared with me when I was going through this. “Never burn your bridges”. There’s never any long-term benefit in cursing out your boss or quitting in dramatic fashion. Keep in mind this thought, “Return evil for evil to no one. Take into consideration what is fine from the viewpoint of all men. If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men.” (Romans 12:17,18)
Once you’ve found a new job, respectfully leave a two week notice and go on about your business until your last day. It doesn’t feel as good as going off, but it’s the right thing to do. You never know how your professional actions now can affect others or benefit you in the future.
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Hey Alyssa, reading this really did remind me of the devils around, one in particular, a boss I had that sexually harassed my girlfriend. Unimpressed would be an understatement. From reading everything you had to say, your attitude and thought process towards the situation is one of the most logical and rationale I’ve seen. People like that thrive off emotionally-fuelled responses, it boosts their ego’s. Hopefully by this stage this situation has been worked out and the devil’s themselves have had a tragedy occur. If not however, monotone speech and passiveness makes people like that, shrivel in anger. Keep records, research your rights.
Get, the, fuck, out of there :)))
good luck,
yours,
Eli
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Thank you so much for reading and leaving your comment. I am so sorry you boss sexually harassed your girlfriend, that is so wrong. I hope he got what he deserved! I hope things are going well for you and your girlfriend!
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Wow you are mentally stronger than me because I would just not go back. I admire you for that. It sucks you’re in so much pain…. but I also think your situation is making you feel worse or keeping you sick. Good luck on your interviews and get out of there ☺️
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