My Open Letter to Pain

pain go awayDear Pain,

Our relationship started so many years ago and let’s be honest it has never been a healthy relationship. I have tried to break free from you for years, but somehow you manage to always find a way to sneak back into my life.

At this point I do not even remember exactly

when all of this pain started. It is both sad and crazy it has been that log and I can’t pinpoint a day! It seems as though you just creeped on me until you pretty much consumed my days. You have always been an unwelcomed intruded who wanted to invade my life and almost control me. Unfortunately, the harder I fight you, the more persistent you are.download (5)

When I sit here thinking about our history I do know you slowly started causing me pain in my only my legs. While having consistent pain in both legs wasn’t easy, I felt like in a strange way a little more control of you. I don’t remember you causing me as many tears back then, but this was just the beginning of a long relationship.

download (7)As our very toxic relationship progressed, my pain travelled through more areas in my body. Let’s see, the next area you tried to take over was in my mid to lower back. This was still early on and was absolutely horrible. It seemed like no matter what I did, I was still in excruciating pain. Nothing was really helping this type of pain, but early on a heating pad did help some. Of course I still deal with this now, but it is SO much more intense. Yes, heat does still help some, but not as much as it used to. I do the best I can to ignore you, but you just never take a break!

In addition you are trying to make my massive headaches/migraines to take me out of commission because you know it is the only pain I can’t handle. These miserable 895ff6a44348f4a668000c879dd12480headaches/migraines have become more frequent and much more severe! The only thing that seems to help a  little is a dark, quite room with an ice pack on my head for hours. Unfortunately, I can’t really do this while at work and I have to go home early.

These days not only do I feel you in my legs, my mid to lower back and the head, but you are now trying to attack my neck, shoulders and arms. Did I just not pay you enough attention and that upset you? Do you just need me to acknowledge you and allow you to take the wheel of my life? Well this isn’t going to happen because I am not going to allow you the control me anymore.

Oh and I almost forgot the lovely MS hug! What is the point of this anyways? That originalhorrible feeling that the life is being squeezed out of you is so mean! You already know that nothing helps this at all, so why force me to deal with at various times?

All the years that have gone by, I need to break free from you. It is now time to separate and just END this relationship. I am sure you think I am going to give up, but I refuse to! Our relationship is OVER and you need to just walk away and accept it! Please leave me alone!

Goodbye pain, this is the end!

Alyssa

Thank y’all for visiting my site today and reading my letter to pain. I think I have lived with this pain long enough and it is time for it to stop. I have been reading more books about MS and even though I have lived with this illness for almost 2 decades, these books were helpful. I do believe they would be beneficial for anyone that either lives with this illness or has someone close them with MS. I think the books I have read give a pretty good explanation of this unpredictable illness. Please never forget that no matter what I am dealing with I am always sending y’all LOTS of love ❤, comfort, and many positive vibes!

love-2-e1526867753936

❤Always, Alyssa❤

 

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13 thoughts on “My Open Letter to Pain

  1. Godspeed 🙏 dear. I recently got migraines but I believe the claritin helped even though I didn’t think it was allergies. Sinus and nose pressure was horrible.

    Lately, with the rain and humidity it seems that I too have felt more aches n pain. Maybe the barometer pressure is causing you the extra pain.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so sorry you have been dealing with migraines, they are horrible! It seems like sinus issues and allergies are bad right now.

      It is raining here today and will be tomorrow as well. The rain causes so many aches and pains. I think you are right about the barometer pressure. The pain I am dealing with would be the same no matter what goes on I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Stopping by via encouragement from Drew to say “Hi” to you. Your letter to pain is inspiring. As I age, I find the aches and pains with weather change appear more readily, so the most I can do is offer sentiments of empathy for what you must feel. You’re wise to read and learn and fight back as your able. I’m sending warm wishes for pain-free moments your way! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is my first visit to your blog thanks to Andrew. I admire your spunk and determination not to let pain have the last word. I hope and pray that one day they will find a cure for MS. I like your positive outlook on life despite the pain.

    Liked by 1 person

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