Sometimes things happen in our lives that shake us to our core. It can be terribly difficult to heal from these situations and painfully trying to find the motivation to keep moving on. I have NEVER been the type of person that allows for anything or anyone to keep me down for long because we only have one life to live and must live it to the fullest. Even after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 19, I wouldn’t allow for that to take control and or run my life, so why would I start now?
In recent times something else has happened to me that was not only a complete and total shock, but also incredibly inappropriate. I was let go from my job for the most absurd reasons I have ever heard.. My husband and I relocated to a brand new city where I started this new job that I was super excited about. During the course of my employment, even after asking several times I had NO training. The complete lack of training was at no fault of my own, but due to no one knowing the answers to the numerous questions I asked. How wrong does that sound!? It seems like the people I was working for expected me to be psychic, which unfortunately I am not! Any loss is hard to accept, but not understanding what went wrong makes it even harder. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I did my job to the best of my ability and didn’t deserve for this to happen to me. Anyone that really knows me, knows that I work hard and am good at whatever I set my mind to.
In my rational mindset and heart I know everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t make this any easier to accept. Losing a job has made me feel worthless and like a failure, which logically I know probably isn’t true. Even when I felt terrible, I still went to work. Even living with a chronic illness that brings on many issues, I still work and work hard! The hard truth for me to swallow is people can be so FAKE and more often than not the people who seem kind and caring are the direct opposite. I don’t possess the ability to be anything but who I am and that is NEVER fake! Personally, I am always going to just be who I am, which is a compassionate person to a fault. I am and probably always will be the person that cares more about others needs than my own.
How do you find motivation when your world has been turned upside down? A job doesn’t define who I am as a person, but it does make me feel productive instead of the one sulking around the house without any direction. I am a very strong person and I will bounce back to the positive person I was, it might just take time. I honestly think this situation would be easier to accept if there were valid reasons for this my termination, but there AREN’T ANY valid reasons! Many people have already told me this is their loss and not mine because I deserve so much better, maybe once my mind has healed from this I will see it that way as well.
I don’t mean to share a post that is pretty negative, but honestly sometimes writing out my feelings helps for me to heal. Many of y’all, that have been following my blog for a while now, knew something was wrong way before I admitted it and I appreciate all the kind and encouraging words you have sent my way. It has only been 4 days, which feels more like 4 weeks, since losing my job and unemployment doesn’t suite me well.
I am trying to take time to heal from this horrible event and focus on things that bring me joy again. There were so many things I wasn’t able to do working full-time, so maybe now is my chance to do more with my life. Y’all know that I had dreams of writing a book that I even already have an outline for. Maybe I can use this time, in between a job search, to at least start the book of my dreams. One thing I can say with 100% certainty is, I can not and will not allow what I have gone through to send me into a terrible relapse.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for stopping by my site today and I do hope y’all have a fabulous weekend! For those of you living out west where I know it is insanely cold, I hope you are able to keep warm and the temperatures improve very soon. I do look forward to reading your comments and promise I will respond much faster than I have been in the past few month. Even though I might be going through a difficult and painful time right now, please know that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love , comfort and many positive vibes!