Changing my thought process!

800px_COLOURBOX18602182Good evening y’all! I hope you have had a wonderful Wednesday! Thankfully we are half way through the week and only have two days left until we reach the weekend! I am pretty sure we can make it two days! Of course, I could not be any happier tomorrow is FINALLY Thursday, the day I have waited for since last week! 

I think y’all know that I have done nothing but stress myself silly about the MRI I had last Friday. Tomorrow afternoon is when I will get the “official” results and will actually be able to talk with the NP. So thinking in a logical state of mind, did me getting all worked up do anything for the good? ABSOLUTELY NOT! In fact, all that stress only caused me to feel twice as much pain, which has honestly been miserable! I think the worrying was a complete waste of time!

I have adopted a new way of thinking and I feel that is much more healthy for my mind changeand body. There is nothing at all I can do to change what the results of my MRI are, so why bother thinking about it anymore? If my MRI results are the same as they were in October, when the doctor said it was the “worst” MRI she had ever seen, so be it! I guess it is  better to be the same instead of there being even more active lesions and I will handle it the best I can. I think I am a pretty strong person and can tolerate anything life throws my way.

Multiple Sclerosis can have constant changes and we must learn new ways to get through our life. Of course, if there are no changes at all and I will be forced to just get through the rest of my life with a lot of pain, it could be much worse!

I am a fighter and will never allow for this illness to consume my life. I did promise imagesmyself 18 years ago, when I was diagnosed that I would never surrender to it and I would find a way to control the illness, not the other way around! I know this post is a lot different and lighter than some of my previous posts, but I am learning to just accept what I can not control or change and continue on with the life I was given!

Thank you for visiting my site today and thank you from the bottom of my heart❤ for ALL of your support during these past few stressful days! I do know that I was getting incredibly stressed for NO reason at all! I hope you have a wonderful and restful evening. I am going to try to share the news I get tomorrow afternoon once I get home, you know as long as I am not too upset! As always please remember that I am sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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51 thoughts on “Changing my thought process!

  1. I totally understand. Being apprehensive can wreak havoc on your mind!! I’m just so glad that tomorrow you’ll get the results already!! Not a moment too soon!! Hopefully the doctor won’t make any tactless comments this time! (Geez!)

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  2. If only acceptance weren’t a daily struggle! One thing that helps me when waiting for news like this is remembering that my situation hasn’t changed–what’s done is done–but my understanding of it can change. Then back to trying to accept it.:-) Best wishes tomorrow.

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    • Thank you so much! I thought it was a good idea to change my way of thinking and just hope for the best! What happens tomorrow is just what is meant to be and I will be okay. I say all this now, but my have a melt down tomorrow we will see! Thank you so much for your positive vibes!

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  3. Awesome blog! When I was first diagnosed I had three kids under three and I was a bad ass. LOL somehow over the last 22 years I just fell into the trap that is MS. I finally realized a few months back that, I can’t get upset about things I can’t change. I can either go with it and ride it out and do my best, or I can make myself crazy.
    Your blog today totally resonates with me. You really are an excellent writer! XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much!! Dealing with all we are forced to, I think you still are a bad ass! It is so hard to not get upset about things we can’t change and acceptance isn’t easy either. But if we all just ride out the numerous changes we go through, we will be much better off! Oh my goodness, thank you SO much for saying I am an excellent writer. Writing is definitely my passion in life and I want more than ever to do more with it!!

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  4. That is so true! I have been having talks with my 17 year old (who has IBS) that stress can make you much sicker! You are normally such a positive and encouraging person but everyone has their bad days. I hope you will be at peace when you get the MRI results tomorrow.

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    • Thank you Holly! It really is amazing what stress does to our bodies! Over the past year, stress has taken a toll on my body in such a negative way! I am going to work on this though. You are right, everyone has their bad/off days, but I do not want to stay in that negative mindset I was in over the weekend! I seriously do believe the results are what they are and I will make it through! Thank you so much for your kind words!

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    • Thank you so much! In the past I would dwell on the situation and in the end it didn’t help or change anything! Accepting what is isn’t easy, but also very necessary if that makes any sense! The MS isn’t going anywhere, so I am just embracing it the best I can!

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  5. I’m happy tomorrow is finally Thursday and I pray your worries can stop. I just want you to know if you want someone to be with you at your appt I’d be happy to go with you. I know you’re a big girl but it’s always nice to have someone with you. Always know I’m here if you ever need anything. Stay strong and positive. All my Love & Support, Mom💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I appreciate you offering to go with me, but I am going directly from work. Jon already offered to go as well, but I really want to handle this on my own. When others get involved it gets too overwhelming for me. I know that probably sounds crazy, but that is just me. I am comfortable with whatever is going to happen tomorrow. Like I said in this post, if the results are the same as they were in October, so be it and it is better than more lesions!

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  6. I suppose you’re right. And I imagine it’s a horrible experience trying to cope with an illness while worrying about things, then going back and forth between wanting to let go and and wanting to keep dwelling on whatever makes you anxious because anything can happen. I do think though, that you’re going about things the right way because how can you be sure if you’re worrying for nothing, or not? Like, yeah maybe you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re just worrying too much at the moment, but like I said yesterday, sometimes if you don’t feel certain about something, anxiety can flare up because you don’t know if you’ll be ok or not.

    But with what I read about your intention to accept what you can’t change, I feel better knowing you’re still all right, as much as you can be for the circumstances. It’s true what you say, so long as your results are basically the same, all is good in that regard. I still feel that anxiety isn’t an over-reaction because hell, I don’t know what it’s like to have MS, but from what I know om people who have it, MS is terrible to deal with. So just because you worry for no reason doesn’t mean you’re wrong to worry. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise! Worrying is natural. At least you’re finding your own way to deal with your anxiety and that’s what counts at the end of the day. I hope you have good news from your MRI and I look forward to reading more of your posts! Have a good day.

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    • Oh my goodness THANK YOU so much!!! So many people keep telling me that I am worrying for nothing at all, but it isn’t their health so they have NO right to say that. I know my body more than they do, more than the doctors and even more than a machine (the MRI). I know things feel the same as they did in October and for things to not be improving worries me! I honestly do not give a damn what the results are and I definitely do not care what the doctor or NP says! I know things do not feel right and it could be ALL the stress I am under, which goes far beyond the MRI.

      I have read too much, so I am reading between the lines of everything. When you have a horrible relapse and things do not improve, that isn’t really a good sign. It could mean the MS has progressed from Relapsing Remitting to Secondary Progressive. The bad thing is, I do not think these doctors know that much! I am so happy you have found my site and I hope you continue to enjoy what I write. I sincerely appreciate your kind and supportive words!!!

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      • Oh thanks for your lovely comment! Yes I do love reading your blog. Yes true, doctors have such a hard time understanding people who are in pain because they aren’t the ones feeling the persons difficulties. No I understand doctors can’t know everything, but it’s the attitude that counts and some doctors just aren’t fit for the work. I think you’re so right that the doctors don’t have a clue what you’re going through as much as they think they know so much about diseases, they really don’t. At the same time, it goes back to the attitude. If a doctor is really caring, you’ll tolerate almost anything to accept the help because you know how much they really genuinely want to help you. What I really hate are doctors who don’t accept you for who you are, they treat you like crap when you react badly to a situation or a medicine and they don’t want to know you as soon as they see what you’re like when you’re ill. I mean that about anybody, the way the doctor would treat anyone. I firmly believe that if the doctor can’t handle their job, they should leave the practice. Any doctor that stays on just to mistreat patients because they happen to disagree with the lifestyle of that patient, or they don’t like seeing people who react badly to medical treatments, completely heartless and should be ashamed of themselves! I have some friends who have very good doctors and these people have told me not to be afraid of the doctors they see in this particular clinic. I know every doctor isn’t bad, but when I have bad experiences, I feel very let down and am unlikely to trust any doctor for a long time. I can’t understand how somebody can go to medical school to learn how to help people, and then when it comes to the crunch they mistreat whoever they don’t like. Bullying, harassment, scolding, just being plain nasty, in order to make someone feel bad for getting sick and so forth. With my bad experience a few months ago, I probably should have gone to a different medical clinic immediately and gotten myself checked properly. But I didn’t. And since then, I’ve learnt from that in different ways. Now if I’m bullied by any individual or any business, I don’t sit down and cry and say oh well. That’s just how it is. I get up and I tell as many people as I can about my current situation until somebody listens. One example is when I spoke to a receptionist from a plumber trade place the other day. I discussed this situation in my blog post yesterday. So I never gave up. I simply found another plumbing service and they were extremely nice and so someone is coming out to me next week. So I’m assuming I can apply this logic to doctors, butchers, plumbers, veterinarians, etc. it’s funny how negative experiences teaches you so much! Anyway, I could go on for hours and hours so I will close off here. Your blog posts are very insightful and I look forward to new posts from you. You are very supportive as well, so thank you once again.

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  7. I can’t believe your doctor actually said that too you! What a lack of empathy. Good to hear you’ve actually taken my advice about the fact you can’t change the results so there’s no point worrying about nothing.
    Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! My husband seems to think I am wrong for holding onto the comment she made, but it has! It was hurtful! I think everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to and there is nothing I can do!

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      • That is a very cruel and unprofessional thing for a doctor to say to you. Also, I find this happens a lot with me but they shouldn’t be comparing results to other patient’s they’ve seen, it’s very annoying. I find doctors often don’t seem to understand the subjective things we experience too like fatigue, migraines and dizziness.

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  8. Just think tomorrow it will all be over and you can relax. Well at least try to relax. As long as your results haven’t changed for the worst and there are no more lesions. It will be around 4am in the morning while you’re at your appointment but best wishes and sending you another virtual hug. XO

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