Good afternoon y’all! I hope your weekend is starting off wonderfully! Last night I was able to have my much-needed and dreaded brain MRI. Even though over my 18 years with Multiple Sclerosis I have had SO many MRI’s, I was still extremely nervous! However, if I am being 100% honest I am WAY more nervous about getting the results next week! The waiting period will be brutal because my mind will go in a million different directions and most of those directions lead to the negative thoughts. I am trying to be logical, which is not always easy for me because I know there is no amount of stress or worrying that will change what these results are going to show and all that worrying will just add stress to my life leading to even more PAIN!
With all the MRI’s I have had in my 18 years with Multiple Sclerosis, this one was just of the brain. It was not long at all and the two MRI techs were absolutely amazing. One of them was the same tech I have had several times before, so it was not scary at all. It was pretty funny because the one I have seen many time previously said to me, “Alyssa, do you have any questions before we get started?” Before I was even able to speak he said, “You know I can not tell you anything because this needs to be read by the Radiologist and I just do not have that type of knowledge. Now you also already know you can go online in a few days and read the full report.” I do tend to always ask at the end of the test if they saw anything like lesions. I hate waiting to see the doctor and I know the techs can see the images and probably have a somewhat educated guess on what they are looking at. My goodness they are so stubborn about sharing any news with me which I kind of think that is just mean, just kidding! He did make one funny remark by saying he was happy to announce that I do still have a brain!
For some reason today I am in so much pain, but I am doing my best to just rest. I do tend to use my Saturday’s as a day of rest and anything I think needs to be done waits until Sunday. More than likely the reason for my pain is due to stressing about the MRI and also the argument I had with my mother on the way to the MRI. Isn’t it funny how when you are stressed about something all it takes is one comment to make the calm barriers fall down hard? The smallest of disagreements can turn into a disaster! I am not proud of this, but I am very strong in my nature and can have a hot temper when provoked. Anything I am really passionate about causes me to protect and defend it to the fullest. I will say things I mean, but it will come out in a very hostile manner. I do also believe that anything that happened yesterday is in the past and can not be changed, so all you can do is move on with life and hopefully be less hostile, but we will see about that!
Thank you for visiting my site today and I hope y’all have a great and restful weekend! I will do my best to stay calm and definitely not continue thinking about “what” the results are going to tell me on Thursday. I think the only thing I can do between now and Thursday is keep my mind busy by thinking about only the positives aspects of life! Even though those positives can be hard to find because of all the negative in life are still there! Please remember that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love
and comfort!
Always, Alyssa
Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here.
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You will be fine! The power of positive thinking!!? 😊
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Thank you!
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Hope u don’t have to wait too long to get the results
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Thank you! I see the NP on Thursday, but I can view the notes online tomorrow or Monday. I am dreading this!
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Better to get it over regardless of the news than sit around wondering and dreading the worst
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I know you are right. I just do not understand why the site has it blocked. This has not ever happened before, so my mind is doing spins thinking the worst case scenario!
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Praying for you to have peace while you wait on the results. Big hugs!🤗
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Thank you! I do know nothing I do, say or think between now and Thursday will change the results. I just need to keep my thoughts in control!
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Alyssa, you are in my heart and thoughts. 🙏❤❤❤💚💚💚
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Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me!!
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You’re welcome sweet lady.🤗
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I hope you have a lovely weekend!!
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I can’t begin to imaginée what you’re going through but sincerely hope that the results go your way and that you can find some peace between now and then. Fingers crossed and virtual hugs on way to you xx
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Thank you so much! Normally I am able to go online to view the results, but I just looked and they have it on hold until Thursday, which is the day of my appointment with the NP. I think they really want my imagination to go wild!! Thank you for the virtual hugs!
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Wow. I do know how stressful this can be. I often tell myself that the results won’t really change anything (my illness will be the same…), but that it is always good to get information even if it is bad as it will inform my choices and maybe my treatment plan. Hugs, and hang in there!!
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Thank you so much! I am “normally” able to go online to view what the Radiologist read, but I just tried that and they put them pending/hold until Thursday which is the day of my appointment. Now I am thinking it isn’t good and they do not want me to know yet. Logically I do know the results will not change my illness, I just want to know NOW what they found. Oh my goodness it is going to be a LONG 5 days!
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Oh, no. Talk about loading up the stress. I was almost in tears when I was unable to convince the technician that he should give me a print out of my last lung function test results. Like you, I want that data! It helps to know before the appointment what you are dealing with, doesn’t it. Hang tough. Hugs!!
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It is adding WAY too much stress to my mind! I mean seriously, why in the world would they block me from MY results? I do not think it is right! I can imagine how you were feeling. I guess in my mind, it is our body and our knowledge to know! So why do the choose to not share it with us?! HUGS!
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I always find the waiting the worst part aswell, and even though it doesn’t make any difference, it is very hard to not worry (I always worry!). I hope you are able to have a relaxing weekend and to do lots of nice things to take your mind of it. 🙂 Me and Dizzy will be thinking of you, and we hope the results are ok. Please let us know when you get them. Sending donkey hugs and kisses. xxx
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Waiting really is the worst part of things and making the results blocked is even worse. I know there isn’t anything I can do to change the results, they are what they are and I will live with it as always. I am trying to keep my mind distracted. I thank you and Dizzy for your hugs and kisses! I hope y’all have a great weekend!!
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I hate getting MRIs. Haven’t needed or had on in a few years, and I am fine with that, but they are an evil thing. Well, maybe not the MRI, as much as every single MRI tech always wants you to lay perfectly still and not move, at all. I just can’t do that, MS restless leg syndrome is the biggest reason for that.
*deep breath*
Enough of my complaining, I hope all goes well for you, and it isn’t as much of an issue as mine have been at times. *BIG HUGS*
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Oh no worries, I can relate to everything you said! I have had way too many MRI’s and the waiting doesn’t get any easier!! My mind is doing crazy things wondering why the results are LOCKED!! I guess at this point they are what they are and I just will live with it as always.
I hope you have a nice relaxing weekend! You are still puppy sitting, right?
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I am still puppy sitting. The folks should be back any time now, and the girls (dogs) will be beyond excited!
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Aww, I am sure you are going to miss those adorable babies!! Animals have the ability to bring us so much joy!
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I hope they are no new lesions. Lots of love.
They are not stubborn. They are pros. But u are. Rest!
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I do hope there are no new lesions, but at this point, things are just what they are!
I know they are being pros, I just wish they would bend the rules a little!!!
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Good luck on your results! I will be thinking of you and sending love 💕🧠💕
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Thank you so much! I have a feeling it is going to be a LONG 5 days!!
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❤️
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“You still have a brain,”? That is hilarious! Comic gold. MRI Tech 101: Make sure the patient still has a brain in there.
I hope the results will be insightful and therapeutic to uncover!! Many blessings!!
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I know, who would have thought that I have a brain. Of course he didn’t say if it was working the best it could!!
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I hope all goes well with the MRI results. I was thinking of you all day on Friday. I thought your MRI was on Thursday, so my Friday. Then again I’ve had so many appointments and tests recently. When is your follow up appointment with the doctor?
I’ll be thinking of you.
Have an awesome weekend! And I hope you get the well rested rest you deserve.
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I am sorry for my delayed response, but that you so much for your kind thoughts! So my Thursday is your Friday? You are a day ahead of me!
My follow-up is this Thursday. I am a little worried about the results because normally I am able to view them online, but they are blocked. My mind has wandered thinking worse case, but maybe it is just because the doctor needs to see them first.
I hope you had a lovely weekend. So, is today Monday for you?
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Yes it’s Monday morning for me right now.
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This is going to sound like a stupid question, what country do you live in?
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I think I may have mentioned before because the weather is the complete opposite here, it’s winter here at the moment but can get up to 41 degrees in summer which I don’t look forward to, but I live in Australia.
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OH my goodness, I dream of going to Australia someday! I think you have mentioned before you live in that beautiful country!! This might make you laugh, but I am in love with kangaroo!
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Lol. Kangaroos are very cute. I don’town a pet kangaroo though. If you ever come to Australia I’ll buy you a cute kanga soft toy or maybe even paint you one. 🙂
I would love to come to America one day but at the moment I can’t get myself on a plane with my condition.
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Are you able to have a pet kangaroo if you live in Australia? They are SO cute and sweet, well when they do not want to box you!
Oh sweetie, America is not all it is cracked up to be. In my opinion things have slipped towards the bad. I do believe there is way too much hatred and hostility now days, but I am hopeful things will get better. I think it is a crazy long plane ride, which is one reason I have not started saving money to come visit!!!
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Well yeah if you just went up to them in the wild they would wack you with their tail. They are SO cute though, especially their joeys. You’ll have to wait and see whether we have pet kangaroos or not but NO we can’t ride them like a horse. Your post actually did make me laugh. I would only go to America to visit for something different and to see the scenery. The flight is very long, 16 hours I think but maybe one day on business class with a stop over. We can only hope there will be more research and things will get better.
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They really are SO adorable!! I would not think you could ride them, that seems a little mean to do to them! I am glad my post made you laugh! That is a really LONG flight, maybe someday I will be able to do it!
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They are so so cute. Maybe you’ll see a post about them for Australia Day next year. Some people who live in America actually seem to think we ride them to school though.
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Oh and you might want to read The Possum Magic Book I mentioned in this post https://coolncreative.wordpress.com/2018/08/16/book-week/comment-page-1/#comment-45. Possums are nowhere near as cute as kangaroos but it gives you a little taste of Australia.
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I agree. That is a mean thing to do to them. They really are SO cute. Koalas are too though. They’re like cuddly teddy bears. But I’e never actually been able to give one a cuddle. So if you ever come to Australia in the future maybe that’s something we can do together.
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That would be so much fun to do!! Someday, no idea when we can make that a goal of ours!! I definitely find Koalas very cute as well, but I am an animal lover!!!
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No question is a stupid question, Alyssa.
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Thank you! I am a little hard on myself sometimes!
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Sending you a virtual hug. XO
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Your virtual hug is very appreciated!!
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I get hostile & defenseless too when I’m passionate about something! As for the MRI, I hope everything turns out okay! I’ve only had a few in my life & they scare me. I get claustrophobic every time but i’m not normally claustrophobic. Maybe it’s just anxiety. Idk.Lol.
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Well the reason I was so incredibly hostile is because I felt like my mother was insulting and disrespecting the house we bought a few years ago. This was my husband’s grandparent’s family hope, so it holds A LOT of sentimental value. Yeah it is old, but it has so many things we can do. Also she has never seen it and at this point she isn’t going to!!
I am normally fine in the MRI machine, but it does get to be too when they are long. I am always a lot more scared of the results. My anxiety is through the room right now!!!!!
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I hope everything turns out well! ❤ As for your mom, I don't blame you. Especially if she hasn't even seen it! I think older homes are better. First, they're built much better but there's so much you can do with them!
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This house was built very well and is has character! It has SO many wonderful memories and I just want them to live on!
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I don’t blame you. I love old houses. My parents’ have pullout doors. Idk the actual name for them but they pull out of the wall. They’re freaking awesome.
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WOW, pullout doors sounds SO interesting! Old houses just have so much more character than all the cookie cutter houses out there. I am excited about this adventure, but extremely nervous!
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You got this!
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Thank you Casey! I am trying to stay positive, but my mind goes wild!!
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I know how that goes! ❤
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Sending you positive thoughts and energy for a great result!
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Thank you so much! I do sincerely appreciate your positive thoughts!
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*Hugs* and warm wishes for you to have a smooth test and great results to follow.
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Thank you so much Christy! The waiting period is going to drive me crazy, but I do know I can’t do anything to change the results! I hope your weekend has been great!
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I pray and hope that the MRI results come soon and that there is nothing seriously wrong. Many hugs, and support to you my dear friend. I’ll be praying for you. 💗
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My appointment to meet with the NP to get the results is Thursday afternoon. The waiting period is torture, but I do understand none of my stress and worrying will change the end results. At this point, the results are what they are and I will handle them the best I can.
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You are such a strong woman and such an amazing example of how to deal with the cards you have been dealt with. I have so much respect for you! 💗
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Thank you Beckie! I honestly do not feel all the strong right now because I am SO tired of the pain and dizziness, but then having to wait for results makes it all worse!!!
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I so understand, Sweetie. Just rest. Give yourself a break… You are so deserving of one. Again, I’ll be praying for you!!! 😘 🙏
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Thank you so much for your kind words, I do appreciate you so much!!!
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You are so very welcome, Sweetie!💗
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Healing prayers and good vibes!❤️
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Thank you so much!!!
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Wishing for a positive result. Stay calm. Dig up one of the medutations on my blog and keep practising it daily. Will help you refocus. Believe it will all be well.
Hugs bella
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Thank you Bella! Everything I learned from you will come in handy right now!!
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I truly am sorry Alyssa for causing you more stress on such an important and scary day. Sometimes I forget you’re an adult and a smart one at that. I know your brain never turns off and you think over every situation including the “What if’s” and everything in between. I do believe in you and know you can handle your life just fine. I just get scared at times because even though you’re an adult you’ll always be my baby. That’s what a Mother does, “Worry”. That does not by any means say I don’t trust your decisions or choices. Just the opposite. I have all the faith in the world in you and know if anyone has thought of everything and more, It’s you! I’m proud of you and the person you’ve become. Always know I’m your biggest fan! All my Love & Support!💜💜
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Thank you Mom! It was just a bad day and I was already very stressed. It is okay to let things go of what happened in the past and just focus on the present. Oh and by the way, I have found out it isn’t mold in the house it is just mildew. Like I had already told you, we are getting things taken care of. The house will be fine whenever we do move into it. It is a well-built family home with tons of memories.
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Hey. Sorry, I’m late on commenting, but I’m behind on my reading. I hope everything turns out good. Keep your head up.
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Oh no worries!! It is okay to get behind with commenting, I mean we do all deal with a lot daily. I am doing my best to keep my head up, I just really want answers!!
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You know the waiting period for getting medical results can be so brutal.
Wishing you all the best.
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Thank you so much, I do appreciate your kind and supportive words!
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MRI done and dusted, now the wait until Thursday. Don’t over think why the site is blocked. Maybe there are technical issues?. If there are new lesions, doesn’t always mean a progress in our MS does it?. My Neuro once told me I could have been walking around with lesions for years and not known. I know what you are going through though. The whole process is a crap stress build up. Try and give yourself a little mental break before Thursday. Thinking of you!.x
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I am doing my best to not overthink things, but it seems impossible. They said there isn’t a technical issue, they just want to go over it with me. I guess I am making a mountain out of a mole hill right now! MS is definitely a frustrating thing, but we manage to make it!
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Yeah I know easier said than done!. I usually have to wait three weeks for my results and no way of checking, so I guess I’m used to just waiting. It could be good news to discuss with you. :). Here’s to Thursday being here, and good results.
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At least we are great at giving amazing advice! Maybe someday we will learn from our powerful words! I know Thursday will be here soon and then I will deal with the news, good or bad! Oh my goodness you have to wait 3 weeks? That is horrible!!
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The longest I had to wait was 4 weeks. And that was waiting for the brain and spine results!. I think I was a bit of a mess myself!,
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My goodness 4 weeks is insane! I do not know how you dealt with that, I would have lost my mind!!
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Almost did!!!
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I can totally understand that!! Heck I am forced to wait a week and about lose my mind!
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I don’t think I should reply when I’ve just woken up!, haha. Really didn’t mean to sound flipant. Just trying to make you feel re assured. You know me, so I hope you didn’t read my last message the wrong way. :)x
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You are fine! No worries, your message was great!
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Thanks luv.hope you’re ok today.
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Thank you sweetie! Life will continue on and I will find my way through it all!! Lots of love to you!
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Yes!. That’s the spirit!. And to you.:)
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Thank you!!
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