Bad night turns to a bad day!

stressOverwhelming stress will only cause literally nothing but a terrible amount of pain! For reasons I can completely acknowledge, I was in so much pain last night and could not turn my brain off long enough to get any sleep. I would just lay in bed worrying about every little thing in life and then look over at the clock and just think, “Well if I fall asleep now, I will get 4 hours asleep”. Then an hour later still be awake and see the time and once again think to myself, “ If I could just fall asleep now, I will get 3 hours of sleep.” This went on all night and in turn I was not able to go to work today. Truthfully I am really disappointed in myself because I had been doing so well this week working six and a half hours, so to turn around and miss an entire day is just discouraging! I did think about just trying to push myself to go into work on ZERO hours of sleep, but I also knew that would not do my health any good and getting that run down would cause my health to deteriorate even more.

I can not say and be 100% sure if my increased amount of pain is due to the crazy stress 1weather or to the unrelenting stress life continues to throw at me! I never was good at dodge ball, so the stress just keeps hitting me hard! I often wonder if I am causing the stress I feel to take control of my life and I am actually the one that is responsible for making it worse. I know that allowing stress to bombard my thoughts is NOT any good for my friend “MS”, but I also do not seem to have the strength to avoid it and let it just roll of my back. It never fails, instead of when I am faced with anything I know will be stressful, I am not able to just fight to find something a little more peaceful to focus on, but I focus completely on what is causing my stressful thoughts! I can give advice all day long to others on how to handle stressful times, but I NEVER take my own advice!

Now that I am home for the day to allow my terribly achy and fatigued body to rest, all I can do is be hard on myself for breaking the success I did make by working more hours Monday-Thursday! How is it possible that I had such a successful week and now I am in so much pain it hurts to move? Did I push myself too hard in the beginning of the week by trying my hardest to work more hours because of how busy it is right now? I do not feel like I i will breatham capable of not being hard on myself because just last year I was working many more hours and I was fine! Why since October am I not able to do more like I use to be able to? Is it possible that I am now just allowing the MS to win the battle and control my life? That is not me and is just not the way I ever planned for my life to be. I had always planned to control this illness as much as I could, but seem to be failing miserably at that lately! I guess the truth is control is really just an illusion and what is going to happen, it just going to happen! We are not able to control things that are really uncontrollable, in all reality we are only able to control how we handle the difficult times in life.

In all honesty, the only thing I can do right now is rest in order to get better before the new week starts again. I will not give up on the progress I was making earlier this week, I will try again next week and just hope for a better outcome! I really need to learn how to handle my stress levels A LOT better than I have been because really all I am doing by allowing the stress to consume me is destroying my own body and my health! I can dont-lose-hope-everything-happens-for-a-reason-you-never-6877637promise myself all day long that I will make the necessary changes, but I do not know how to. Writing is definitely a great way for me to get my thoughts out which does help some, but I need to find even more ways to cut the stress out completely and for good! Do y’all have any suggestions on how to do this?

I hope y’all had a pleasant Friday the 13th and I hope you are looking forward to your weekend! I do really appreciate you stopping by my site today and look forward to reading your fantastic comments, which I promise I will respond to as quickly as  I possibly can! Please remember that no matter what I may be dealing with in life, I am always sending y’all LOTS of love❤ and comfort!

My signature heart

❤Always, Alyssa❤

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131 thoughts on “Bad night turns to a bad day!

      • Crazy yes! I’ve having those kinds of nights a lot, still have sometimes. But it doesn’t matter any more since I’m luckily retired now and don’t have to think much about the hours.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I hate you had to deal with these issues, but I am glad you were able to retire! I said I was going to retire a few years ago, but people looked at me like I was insane. I thought considering I have been working since I was about 11 it would be okay to retire at 34!! Now I am 36 and it still isn’t an option:)
        I am just joking now and trying to make light of a bad situation!

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      • I guess I feel that often we need to bring our own peace and sunshine to the dark days! A little bit of laughter can go a long way in life!
        Very very well said, pain is definitely a pain in the ass!!!

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      • Too many complaint too much, particularly when they don’t actually have anything to complaint about! Also christians ASK for things instead of being grateful for what they already have!
        Let’s laugh a lot and be grateful instead!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh my goodness, Alyssa, you could have written this for me today!! I have also put a post out about being in the middle of a flare – and this morning I allowed myself to get so stressed about daft things, resulting in hideous uncontrolled pain….mine being the EDS & nerve root damage against your MS. This hot weather in the UK is def taking its toll, yet I feel so guilty complaining. It is at times like this – seeing your post pop up on my feed – that I so appreciate our community and don’t feel so alone. You always make me smile, you lovely lady and I am senidng you lots of love back xxx

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    • I am so sorry you are dealing with these issues. I know how difficult and frustrating they can be. I did not realize it was hot in the UK as well. I hope you get some relief sooner than later! I definitely appreciate this amazing community because through fantastic people like yourself, I do not feel as alone. I am so glad I was able to make you smile! I hope the rest of your day goes well and you feel a little better! Lots of love and comfort to you always!!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, I really hope all the worries will melt away. I have been under WAY too much stress over the last few months and it is causing so many additional issues for my healing. I need to learn how to shut my brain off, even just for a few hours!! I hope you are doing well today!

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  2. Alyssa I hope you get a catch-up nap and feel better over the weekend. You are amazing to still be working, many others would not have your determination…focus on all you achieved this week not what you didn’t and cut yourself some slack!! Xx

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    • Thank you! My determination stems from not having another option. I really have to continue working because the bills just will not go away. But this weekend I am going to practice shutting my brain off and just coming to peace with myself. I am proud of what I was able to accomplish this week, but I do wish it had continued through today. Next week will be another chance to accomplish my goals! I hope you are doing well and feeling good!! XX

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      • I have heard that naps are helpful, but I am absolutely the worst person at taking naps. I guess it is just an issue where I am always thinking about what I “should” be doing. I thank you so much for the great advice though, maybe I will give it a try this weekend!

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      • Yes definitely! Try it. I’ve also noticed writing things down helps stop my mind from always racing. I write everything down, otherwise, you can go ahead and just call me Dory – so forgetful!

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      • I can totally relate to forgetting things! I often write a list before I go to the grocery store, but still mange to forget something! Crazy isn’t it?
        Normally writing and or reading will help me relax, but there are times when I read comments made on my posts and they will be quite upsetting. I do know that there is not anyone on my blog that means to upset and or hurt my feelings, but there are some topics that I am very sensitive to. Now that I have recognized this I will just ignore comments made by a few people. Really I am not trying to sound mean, but I can’t control my emotions at times! Thank you so much for sharing how you are able to slow your mind down! I truly appreciate you!!!!

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      • You don’t sound mean at all. I’m sensitive too when it comes to my condition and chronic pain. And I try not make any excuses for it. You’re the one living your life – no one else. Likewise, it’s refreshing to find people you can relate too. 😊🙏🏽

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      • Thank you for saying that! When it comes to people saying anything about going on disability or MS can kill me, it hits a nerve!
        Your last comment somehow disappeared before I was able to respond. But what I had said is my doctor wants to say it is the law that you can not take pain meds if you are taking anything for anxiety or sleep issues. That is actually not completely true! There are red tape things involved, but it is possible!

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  3. I can understand your issues and stress can be devastating…. perhaps you are putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed, setting lofty goals and pushing to acquire them… one cannot totally control the challenges that destiny puts in front of us, but we can deal with them in a manner to our liking… don’t worry about tomorrow, it will take care of itself and you will be able to deal with it…. 🙂

    “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere”.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I do put way too much pressure on myself for several reasons. Without me working, we have no money and that is difficult. I am going to try to calm myself a little more though.
      You are absolutely right saying how we can control how we deal with issues we face. Thank you so much for your comment!

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      • Under the circumstances it is understandable… perhaps instead of concentrating on the negative, try the positive… perhaps consider your abilities and knowledge along with your obvious ability to write and may “carefully” research the possibility of working from home or free lancing… a lot of people are doing it these days… 🙂 apply that pressure to the other world, let them know who you are and what you are capable of!!…. 🙂 there are many ways to relax and live life without the need for money to take some of the pressure off.. 🙂

        “No road is too long for him who advances slowly and does not hurry, and no attainment is beyond his reach who equips himself with patience to achieve it.” Jean de La Bruyere

        Liked by 1 person

      • This was an incredible comment and I do appreciate it more than I could even begin to describe. I would honestly LOVE to be able to work from home, but unfortunately those jobs are few and far between. I wish I knew how to get into free lancing, but I do not have a clue. I guess I would assume you would need a degree in English or writing of some sort and I do not have that. I do have a degree, but it is in business. I wish we could get by without me having to work, but the bills keep coming in no matter what I am feeling like.

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      • You do not need a degree to freelance and the degree in business would be more helpful than you know… 🙂 there are at home jobs out there, as good number dealing with transcribing…will just have to take some time to do some research… I have a follower that I chat with from time to time here in WordPress that is into freelancing and gives advice, etc… she goes by Kally and her site is https://middleme.net/
        also try;
        https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/93984511/posts/12175

        she may be able to help you…. you have a lot going for you and I am sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel… 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • WOW, thank you so much for the advice and amazing compliment! My dream has always been to write, which is one reason I started blogging. Blogging allows me to write about anything and everything I want. It has been a dream come true. Now if I can do something with free lance writing that would be even more amazing! I am going to check out the sites you have shared and hope for the best outcome! You have been SO amazing and made my weekend a lot better. It often helps when someone believes in your abilities and encourages you to do even more! Thank you so much!!

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      • There are probably other sites out there also, it’s a place to start…. the main thing is to believe in yourself!!…. you go girl!…

        “When you are truly inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project… your mind transcends its limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world! Then those dormant forces, faculties and talents inside you become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” Patanjali “

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      • Thank you so much! I know that believing in myself is very important and I do try! I am pretty hard on myself all of the time and I know I need to change that as well. I am just a slight disaster that is a work in progress! I really do appreciate all of your advice and encouragement!!!

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      • You are welcome!.. 🙂 there will be challenges ahead for sure, but with faith in yourself, you will be able to deal with them… have a wonderful day today, and every day!!..

        “When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy the friend by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.” E. W. Howe

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  4. Hi Alyssa;
    I hope this finds you feeling somewhat better. I just wanted to share a saying that has been my montra forever, it relates to your line about be able to advise everyone else, my montra is ‘I can solves the world’s problems, but I cann’t fix my own.’ I completely know how your feeling in that regard. Stay strong my friend, another line I use a lot of late is ‘it’ll either get better or it won’t’ nothing much you can do.
    Heidi

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you so much for this amazing comment Heidi!! Your montra is SO much how I feel! I want to fix everything for everyone else, but it is completely impossible for me to fix my own issues. Seriously I really can’t thank you enough. It helps SO much having someone understand how I feel. I hope your day went well and I hope you are feeling okay! Lots of Love to you!!

      Liked by 2 people

      • I see I am not the only one that gives great advice, but feel like we should ignore that advice that helped another! I just do not know how to stop that because I have been that way for almost 37 years!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. First off Alyssa, don’t beat yourself up. You’re your worst enemy. You get up every day and do the best that you can. Nobody can ask for more that that. Pushing yourself too hard only has negative consequences for you. That is definitely not something you want to do to yourself. Second, there will always be stressful events in our life. Yes, how we handle the stress impacts our life greatly. Sometimes handling things on our own creates more stress. Having someone that we can truly count on will lessen our load and make us feel so much better. This journey of life is not meant to walk through alone, especially when we’re married. Asking for help is very difficult for some of us but at times when things seem so overwhelming reaching out is the only thing to do to take some pressure and responsibility off us. I know we ask ourselves at times, why do I need to ask? We shouldn’t have to and when someone we love is struggling it should be transparent and obvious. Always know it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay not to be able to handle things on our own. You’re only 1 person and should never be expected to do it all. All my Love and Support, Mom💜

    Liked by 4 people

    • I am without a doubt my own worse enemy and I do put unnecessary pressure on myself. Life will always be full of ups and downs, but how we handle those challenges are incredibly important. I tend to be far too stubborn to ever ask anyone for help because I think I can do everything. I try to fix the problems of everyone else and neglect myself, but I am working on improving that. It will not be an over night achievement, but I will get there! Thank you for being encouraging and offering a shoulder to lean on. I appreciate all you and Bob do for me. I love you both!!

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  6. Hope you find the way to ease the stress and if it can help I still remember when I wanted to kill people who kept saying to me everything happen for a reason or what is yours nobody will take it but,with time,I leaned it is really true.❤️

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  7. Oh Alyssa, I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. I wish I had some magic words to say that could help you feel better immediately. I know exactly where you’re coming from with lying awake at night trying to solve every problem you’ve ever had…. It’s hard to turn your mind off. Sometimes I play the “alphabet game” where I name things that start with each letter of the alphabet, which often helps me fall asleep because it makes me concentrate on something benign. I hope you’re able to get some rest and relief this weekend. Hugs!

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    • That is a great question! I would probably tell a friend or loved one to take a deep breath and not be so hard on themselves. I would tell them they can only do so much and pushing too far will only hurt them. See I can give great advice, but fail to take my own advice ♡

      Liked by 1 person

  8. As daft as it sounds, I find caffeine a great pain reliever. It’s a Vaso constrictor and I’ve found for nerve and inflammatory pain it’s brilliant – a couple of espressos and I’m
    a new woman! It isn’t a magic bullet for everyone but I’m mentioning it in case it’s worth a thought! Feel better soon 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  9. That’s right, just breathe! Unfortunately being scared out of my whits of the ‘sleeping’ test, I’ve been on sleep aids. They’ve helping so much and although I wouldn’t have wanted to add another medication to the mini pharmacy I have going on, my sleep is essential. I’ve come to realize my pain level will rise incredibly with lack of sleep. Hope you have better sleeping nights ahead. 😊🙏🏽

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    • Thank you for your comment! Sleep tests can be scary, I understand! In the past I was able to use sleep aids, but things changed with my doctor. Apparently now they would rather me be sleep deprived than help. Not sure where to go from there, but I do hope for better sleep nights in my future!!

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      • Really?! Never heard that, I’ll ask my doctor. So far none of them have said anything. Oh yes Alyssa, you need sleep, I’d say to even do it in increments if you can’t do it in 8 straight hours.

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      • They made me decide between pain medication that does help and sleep meds and anxiety medications! It was a pretty terrible decision to be forced to make! I mean, being stressed and anxious is not good for MS and pain makes life really horrible! I will definitely try to sleep in increments because it is impossible for me to sleep a full 8 hours. On a good day I get 5 hours at the most!

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      • I take all three meds! I can just imagine your doctors face looking straight at me 😳 Listen it’s either meds or hanging on by a string and prayer while caring for my kids?! Did I mention it’s summer vacation and they’re all home?! I’ll take the meds! 😆 I’m not one to take the physical and mental pain and hope it subsides. If there’s a concoction, meds, anything that will remotely help me feel human, I’ll take it. 😊🙏🏽 5 hours! Ugh! I’ve been there, I understand your frustration. I’d go back to my doctor and tell them I need to sleep ASAP! If not, a second opinion doesn’t sound too bad.

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    • Thank you so much! I do agree talking is extremely helpful, but I am really bad at sharing what I am going through with those around me because it seems like everyone is going through something and I do not really want to add pressure to any of them.

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    • Thank you Wendi! Difficult times come from all directions in many different ways, but not giving up because of it just isn’t an option! I am hoping for a better night of sleep tonight, but we will see! I hope you had a nice day and I hope your evening is peaceful!

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      • this may sound weird, but when i can’t sleep i put on a movie or tv show that i have watched many many times……..nothing scary………and just lie there watching it……….because i am so familiar with it it doesn’t draw me in and i can just be…………also i take magnesium every single night……….https://naturalvitality.com/free-calm-samples/ they will send you a free sample………

        Liked by 1 person

      • That does not sound weird at all! It actually makes sense. On days I do not have to work, like today and I wake up early, I will watch something I have seen so many times because I know it is okay to fall asleep during whatever I am watching! So magnesium helps with sleep? I did send away for the free sample, but it will take a while to get here, which I won’t complain given that it is free. I never knew the magnesium can help with sleep issues! Thank you Wendi for sharing this!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Most people who are chronically ill have low magnesium…..your md could check that the next time you have blood work done. Yes, it has helped me significantly………it’s not a miracle cure but a big helper!

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  10. Oh Alyssa!. I always go through the ‘did I’ ‘what if’s!. But, if you think you are pushing yourself too much at work, take your foot off the gas just a little. Experience taught me, that there are people who can cover, and job done,back to normal. With us however,job done, pushed to the limits, and suffer a relapse or similar!. Our health is way more important. Stress. A little stress is normal, healthy, but to help the mind and body, while you are in bed awake, just close your eyes, and slowly breath in through your belly, let your belly rise, and breath out through your mouth…not too loud as don’t want to wake hubby!. When you breath in, imagine you are breathing in from the soles of your feet through to the top of your head, then breath out, from top of head to souls of your feet. Do it a couple of times or for as long as you wish. Even during the day, if yiu find your mind wander, take in a slow belly breath, and release. I believe it affects our body also, as what is pain?. Telling us something isn’t right. Ok, with MS its all the time, but if the pain feels worse, just take it easy a little. Hope you had a good Friday 13th also. Unlucky for some,but for me, another lovely birthday, so lucky for me!? Keep smiling lovely.

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    • Thank you SO much for this absolutely amazing comment! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and giving so very solid advice. I have always had a problem with stress and allowing it to take complete control of my life. I know how unhealthy it really is and yet still have no control. Your thoughts have given me some real and true hope and I do not think I could ever thank you enough!
      Friday the 13th has always been a pretty great day for me, well I guess except for feeling so horrible this time. But I am not one who believes that a Friday the 13th is filled with bad things. I hope your birthday was amazing sweetie!

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome!. We are all going through the same battles or similar and I think its good to share what works for us. If it doesn’t work for one, least we tried I guess!.:). Have a lovely weekend, keep cool. We have a little breeze today which feels amazing!. Oh,had a nice birthday thank you. 🙂

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      • I could not agree more! It is so great to be able to read what works for someone else and give it a chance, if it doesn’t work there was no harm done! I am so glad you had a nice birthday!! I hope the rest of your weekend is filled with lots of joy! So glad to hear you have a slight breeze, that makes such a difference!

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  11. I don’t have any advice for you, but I go through the same thing. I just had a night like that a few days ago, and a lot of it was related to a huge opportunity coming up the next day, the kind of thing that doesn’t come around very often. I don’t think I did very well the next day, but that had a lot more to do with bad luck than sleep deprivation.

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    • Sleep deprivation can really do so many truly negative things to our minds and bodies. I have always been the type to stress over everything and then stress about being stressed. I know how absolutely insane that sounds, but that has been me my entire life! People always say just breath and everything will be okay, but it doesn’t work for me. I am trying to develop the attitude that if I know no matter how much I stress the situation isn’t going to change, but staying stressed is going to affect my health in a very negative manner, I am going to try to take a step back and relax!

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  12. Oh Alys, I get where you’re coming from with stress and also not being able to take your own advise (me in a nutshell!) It does seem to become a vicious cycle with stress, exhaustion, pain, no sleep, then rinse and repeat. You have made huge progress and even the smallest of things should be counted, let alone the big steps and changes you’ve been making. This is just another one of the bumps in the road and you’ll get past it just as you have every time before. But I do think you need to be easier on yourself – stressing and feeling as exhausted and in pain as you do are hard to deal with and sometimes whatever we do to tamper down the stress side of things doesn’t seem to work. That’s okay, it’s not your fault because you’re doing the best you can and it’s probably a sign that something’s not quite right. That you need a break, a change of scenery, to switch your mind off somehow for a bit. Please take things easy – you’ve got this! xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you SO much for sharing this comment. Comments like yours make me feel not as alone with these issues. People often tell me that I cause my own stress and make the smallest things into something huge, but that isn’t true at all! Thank you so much for reminding me that I am not alone!!!

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  13. I hope you’ve really taken the weekend to rest and are feeling less pain today, Alyssa. It’s not really my place and I don’t know your circumstances but I think you might want to look at the long game and accept that more is not necessarily better. If you can make do with six hours a day, why push it? Your value in this world is not measured by the number of hours that you work but in how you touch other people’s lives. Look at the followers of your blog and all the comments, this is important work you’re doing. Just because it’s not paid doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value. You bring sunshine and understanding into people’s lives regularly through your posts and your comments, even when you feel terrible yourself and that is so powerfully important, especially these days. You might want to take off the “I’m not doing enough’ glasses and put on the ‘let me reflect on everything I am doing’ glasses because I think you’re the only one who doesn’t see how much you are doing and how amazing you are. Gentle hugs and stress-free vibes sent your way. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you SO much for this incredibly kind and encouraging comment! I know I try pushing myself too far and I do have reasons for doing so. Life gets so difficult sometimes, but those times must build who we are, right? With hopes some people will not read this comment, money is EXTREMELY tight right now as I am the only one working. I do pour my heart and soul into my posts and it helps me in more ways than I could even count. I really appreciate you and your very wise thoughts, in my heart I know you are absolutely right! I am taking this weekend to kind of decompress my mind and find different ways to handle life. I am not going to push myself far anymore! This is going to be very hard for me because I have always pushed myself. I have always wanted to just take care of everything myself and never ask for help. That is going to change! Thank you again for your wonderful comment!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • 5 hours a night is so enough for me since I was in college. My back and head ache if I sleep more than that. It was only a few months back that I’ve started sleeping more than 5 hours. I know my body needs more sleep. But mine’s a different case than yours anyway. So I really hope you get a well-deserved rest!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I almost feel like 5 hours is plenty because the more sleep I get, the more fatigued I feel. Sounds a little crazy I know, but it is true. Then there are times when I get anywhere from 4-5 hours a sleep all week long, I crash at the end of the week!

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      • I kind of felt the same, if I sleep more than 5 hours, I felt lazy and fatigued. Nowadays though, I kinda force myself to sleep 8 hours a night. It’s very important for the mind and body. Hope the Sandman comes to you and give you enough sleep. Good night!

        Liked by 1 person

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