Forgiveness!?

forgiveness 2Do y’all ever find it extremely difficult to forgive sometimes? Is it even harder to find the power to forgive someone, when you find that is all you do in the relationship? This relationship can be a friend, family member or significant other, but the facts remain the same forgiveness can be extremely complicated and even grueling over time!  

Forgiveness is an intentional and voluntary process in which a person undergoes a change of feelings and attitude regarding an event that occurred in life and works towards letting go of negative emotions. This process is not easy, but it does help us to not destroy our lives with anger, hurt, bitterness and numerous other toxic emotions. I do find it hard to forgive someone who has made the same error of judgement multiple times, but at some point it is not necessarily their fault, it is mine for allowing it to forgiveness-1024x683continue.

There are several reasons why forgiving someone is important! Not to sound selfish, but forgiveness is not always just for another person, it is for our own well-being! Having the ability to forgive allows for us to move on without any anger in our hearts. Clenching onto anger only hinders us from well-deserved happiness. Grasping onto anger that resulted from being mistreated and or taken advantage of does not affect the one who did the wrong, it affects the victim in the situation in a very negative light. I might not be right, but I think letting go of our anger and hurt will cause the one that did us wrong more confusion and result in a healing heart for the one wronged. Why allow for anger and hurt to negatively impact our lives for an extended period of time? In the grand scheme of things it probably is not that important and should not be hanging over our heads, we are worth more than that!

We have all been in a situation where we have to make a decision to forgive someone, how do you handle that? Do you have specific steps to make it a little easier to wrap your forget the mistakemind around what went wrong and why? Maybe write down the person’s name that you feel like you need to forgive, along with the reasons behind it will be helpful. This may allow you to be a little clearer about the situation. Clasping the extent of the violation that was done onto you is also pretty important. Addressing the emotions involved is crucial in letting go over the problem. 

I have always heard that forgiving and forgetting is what we are supposed to do, but why should we forget? I have the ability to forgive another, even if they do the same thing over and over again, but I do not have the capability to forget what happened! The wrongs that were done are burned into my mind and heart forever! Being wronged by someone you put your trust into is so painful and hard to move past, so what do you do in that situation? For the most part, those that have treated me in a terribleforgiveness 1 and unfair way have been removed from my life. I think it is possible to forgive someone for what they have done wrong, but not allow that person into your life is logical. I feel that it is just protecting yourself from further hurt and incredible pain, but maybe I am not dealing with things in the best way I can.  Sometimes I do believe it is best to love as much as you can when possible, but let go when that “love” causes you more pain that joy!

I hope y’all are having a lovely weekend! I really appreciate you visiting my site today and really look forward to any comments you have! All of us are strong and compassionate people who have a deep understanding of others emotions! I know sometimes I go off a little rants about topics I am very passionate about and your support and understanding is very appreciated! I hope y’all are feeling well and getting the rest you all deserve!

I hope y’all have a safe St. Patrick’s Day! As always, I am sending y’all lots of love and comfort!

Love 2

Always, Alyssa

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51 thoughts on “Forgiveness!?

  1. I will forgive a person once but if that mistake is made again that’s it! I will not allow myself to be on edge because bad is likely to happen again. Also I can forgive but I will never forget, sometimes I wish I could but we aren’t programmed like that I guess…however I regularly forget what I went into the kitchen for 😂🙈 ms I guess x x

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  2. It took me years, and years, and then some … to forgive certain people, their actions caused so much pain to others and not just me. But when I did finally forgive it was such a release, no more wishing bad things for them, which I was doing a lot of. Forgetting I can’t quite manage, it’s still a horrid memory, but it’s tucked well away. Great post, great conversation starter x

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    • You are so welcome!! I really appreciate you reblogging this post. It means a lot to me that you enjoyed it enough to reblog!! I hope there are more posts that you find to be a good read! I hope you have a lovely Sunday!!

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  3. Forging. It is possible but never forgetting is what consumes us. You cannot un-do memories. Really, you probably already have forgiven, you just do not know it. Some things are just not forgivable and you release that person from your life because there is a real danger if you do not. Boundaries have to be set in place.

    There is a fine line between anger and hurt. I am writing a blog about it, publishing Tuesday or Thursday but I’ll let you in, sneak peek! Let me know if you think this makes sense. I honestly believe I stay mad so I don’t have to feel hurt! I can be angry, pissed, off yell… I will never forgive you! Then I do not have to feel the incredible pain and sorrow over what was done to me. I have to be ready to grieve because I have to face what was done to me when I forgive the person if I do, when I do… Basically, it is more comfortable being angry that facing the harmful incident. ~k.

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    • Thank you SO much Kim for this very powerful comment!!! I do agree with you there is a very fine line between anger and hurt. I think it is hard to know the difference sometimes. I can not wait to read the blog you are working on for Tuesday or Thursday! I know it is going to be absolutely amazing!! I think I might just stay mad as well because it is so much easier than being hurt.

      I honestly think I have forgiven many people and most do not deserve the forgiveness. But they have been released from my life and I am okay with that.
      You are so incredible Kim and this comment was wonderful and I appreciate you more than you could imagine!

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  4. Pingback: I’ll leave the forgiveness up to your choice of god – Fuck MS

  5. Great post, Alyssa. My best friend and I had a major falling out, and I thought that I would never speak to her again. But, in time I realized that I loved her and my life just wasn’t the same without her. So, I let go of what happened and reached out to her. And what I found out is because of what happened, she had done some self-reflecting and changed. We both changed. Our friendship is stronger than ever, and I have zero regrets. The thing is. I still would have forgiven her even if we didn’t reconnect, and that would have felt good too. Forgiveness is a very powerful thing, and most people underestimate the peace it can bring to your life. So, I could not agree with you more!!​

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    • Thank you so much for sharing this! I am so glad you and your best friend were able to work things out and all is good between y’all now! Forgiveness is a powerful thing and it is so hard when people take it for granted. I really value and appreciate this comment!!

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  6. Hey baby. Just read sth beautiful and thought of your post.

    When forgiveness arrives, the meaning, which will end “the torture”, is put in place. The same goes for frustrated loves. We try to forget even before forgiving, and that is how we keep alive the suffering that makes us sick.

    Forgiveness requires acceptance, which will allow us to draw the necessary lessons from our experiences and to introduce them into our personal development. It is a process that leads us to peace and quiet, and therefore to having a clear conscience.

    Surely you have thought more than once of the famous phrase that is often used: time heals all wounds. Such a philosophy is wrong, since time itself does not cure anything. This is what we do in this time that helps us mature, learn and grow inwardly to resolve our conflicts and difficulties.

    “We can not forget time anymore than using it.” Baudler

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