Yesterday, my second day back at work was not very successful. I had planned to be at work longer than I was on Monday, but after only 3 hours was starting to feel absolutely terrible. Last night, I could not sleep at all because my pain was so extreme. I ended up not going to work today because of not sleeping and being in too much pain. I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day!
Trying to heal from my most recent exacerbation has been pretty difficult and I do not really know why. I am trying to remain positive because I do believe that is the only way to deal with hard times. If you constantly stay in the negative mind-set, things will never improve. But honestly, I have been being positive and getting rest, but things are not getting any better. I guess it is possible that I am trying to rush myself to get well and I am being hard on myself if I can not do something, like going to work today. I know my manager is very understanding, but I just want things to be normal again. I could not even do my daily post yesterday because I felt so horrible. I guess tomorrow is always another day to try again!
I am planning to rest tonight and try turning my brain off for a little while. I will do my best to go back to work tomorrow with my adjusted hours, but if for some reason I can not do it, it is going to be okay. We can not rush the way our bodies feel because all that will do is push us in the wrong direction. It is frustrating to think in my mind that I can do everything I was able to do a few months ago but when I try, I can not do it. Pain is such a difficult thing to deal with. No one is able to see what you are going through and trying to explain it is almost impossible! My husband keeps trying to reassure me that my flare up issues will pass just as they have always done before, I am just having a hard time seeing the light at the end of this dark tunnel. I think it is harder for me this time because this is the worst flare up I have had in the 16 years I have had MS.
Thank you for stopping by and reading my thoughts for the day. As always I truly love your comments and I do always respond as quickly as possible. Our communications really do make me so happy. I am planning to do a few posts explaining when I was first diagnosed and what I went through, I just have to wait until I am feeling a little better. I really hope y’all had a good day today and I hope you have a great evening!!